SHINOBI: The RPG - Act 1
by Fulcon
Summary: A min-maxing Self-Insert ruins himself at character creation.
1. Chapter 1

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Whelp, dying sucked.

There I was, driving down the freeway on my way to work when an idiot in a pickup decided to turn in front of me. So I plowed into the truck and I didn't even take the other guy with me because I ran into the passenger side.

I think it's because my cars the same color as the road. Made it difficult to see me.

After that, it's a little fuzzy. I mean, as a fairly religious guy, I'm pretty sure I went to an afterlife. I'm also pretty sure there was some kind of argument. Or maybe I'm giving myself too much credit. Whatever. Doesn't matter.

What does matter is that I'm currently floating in a liquid-y, dark place. Not breathing and I don't need too for some reason. Occasionally, I heard the echoing of voices way in the distance. I'm not sure where it's coming from. I think it belongs to the cord that's attached my stomach. If I wasn't currently in a state of maddened bliss, I might have figured out what it was.

I think it's symbolic.

As I was pondering my bizarre circumstances, a green window with text seemed to appear in my mind. Which is a good thing because I'm not sure my eyes could comprehend actually seeing something yet.

 _Hello, and welcome,_ Green-box read. _To Shinobi: A Naruto RPG._

Oh, cool. I get to play video games for my afterlife! I consider this a blessing. Because I love RPG's and I'm sure I would've gotten bored eventually of this pleasantly warm-liquid- abyss thing. Eventually. It was really comfortable though.

The window changed.

 _Select Gender: Male/Female_.

Hmm…not even bothering with a tutorial, eh? Well, I am really good at RPG's and stuff. I imagined myself selecting _male_ since my limbs were currently non-functioning.

 _Are you sure?_ It asked.

Yes. I am absolutely sure.

 _Keep old appearance?_

Don't see why not!

With my choice made, the window disappeared.

Huh.

Well, that's dissapointi-THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!

AND IT'S COLD.

I'm being held by these warm things!

What's happening? I…oh.

I was just born. Huh.

Well, in that case, my screaming was perfectly justified! In fact, I made a note to do as much as humanly possible because this is _ABSOLUTELY BAT$# $!$ INSANE!_

 _THE ACTUAL-_

Oh, my mental cursing raged on and on, as I was wiped down with a warm rag and then subsequently handed to a bed-ridden person who was presumably my new mother.

Since I was _very_ attached to my old mother, this thought was distressing and made me scream even more. To the point that my lungs were burning. Hey, gotta build those lungs nice and strong, right?

* * *

As I my senses started to develop, I became aware of an increasing oddity within me. It was like an electrical current, a thrum of power that hovered just beneath my skin. I wasn't really sure what was freakier, that this frankly _awesome_ feeling existed within my body or that it seemed to be everywhere else in the world as well.

Oh, wait.

The Naruto RPG.

What I'm feeling is chakra.

I'm an idiot.

Well, that's one less mystery out of the way.

Anyway. Most of my days, when I wasn't hungry (and I was always hungry), were spent in meditation. Clearing my head, breathing and attempting to look asleep so I wasn't unnecessarily bothered were quite relaxing and pretty much the only thing I could do to adequately satisfy my adult mind. One happy side-effect of meditation was that it gave me a very keen sense of the chakra in me. And around me.

In most fiction, when characters meditate, they 'unlock their potential'. They bring to bear some hidden superpower they always had but had locked away for some reason or another. While that was extremely attractive to me, as a guy who is more or less in an extremely dangerous world and is completely dependent on other people for his safety, I know that's not how it actually works. That's not how it worked in my old world, it's not how it works here unless you're already extremely powerful.

But the main reason I did it was that, when meditating, you force your brain into a dream-like state, allowing it to process information, store it and handle it. Which was invaluable for a lot of things; like overcoming emotional trauma.

Which is something I've just been served a major helping of.

I am meditating.

I am one with the universe.

All things happen for a reason.

I am the master of my being.

My choices are my own.

I am extremely hungry.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

* * *

The months went on. I ended up not needing to meditate as much as I used too and my senses were developing. For some freaking reason, the people around me were speaking English, which fits game-logic but doesn't make any _actual_ sense.

Luckily, my tongue and mouth coordination, plus the actual lack of teeth, made it _very_ difficult to actually communicate with them. Because getting snapped up by ROOT? At this age? Would be very bad. I mean, it might be _amazing_ for EXP if this freaking game has any but I'd like to have some _fun_ playing this game.

If that can even exist at this point.

So, my time was spent flailing around, trying to build muscle faster than normal babies did without also causing irreparable damage and stunting my growth. And meditating because it was easier to not rage about how bored I was when I wasn't thinking about anything other than breathing.

I was a very chill child.

Something I ended up figuring out as I grew older was that I wasn't in a home with loving parents. I was actually in an orphanage, with a lot of other kids. The person that was responsible for feeding me was actually a wet nurse, rather than my biological mother.

In a way, that made me feel better but it also made me feel awkward in lots of different ways. In fact…I don't like thinking about it. I was fed and that was that. Nope. Nothing other than that to say.

Eventually, I was able to sit up on my own. Even more impressively, I was able to start crawling! Yay! Look at me, getting all mobile and stuff! I'm just the most adorable little thing. Life in the orphanage wasn't really that bad, either. Granted, I didn't really socialize much but there wasn't much I could do about the mental gap. They were adorable, though.

The matron of the orphanage was an old woman, but other than her skin, she showed no signs of her age. She carried herself like someone who was still very much in the prime of her life, which meant she was a ninja.

Which meant that attempting to escape her when she came to collect you for whatever reason was hopeless. Don't get me wrong, she was nice enough, but I had a thing about being carried. I could carry others just fine (no I can't) but I don't like being carried.

So, she picked me up from my crib, token efforts to wiggle out ceased upon exiting the crib. Even I know accidents happen. She carries me, making fond, affectionate noises at me. Ugh, she's going to make me sick one of these days. Well, I got sick a lot, since I have trouble burping for whatever FREAKING REAS-ahem.

She deposits me in the play area, and the various toddlers with me are all playing with various toys. Fake, baby proofed Kunai, I think were my favorite. Made me laugh whenever I saw it. I examined the area and off by itself, I saw a thick, baby book.

…no way.

I hastened over there and found that, indeed, it was the S.P.E.C.I.A.L book, ripped right from Fallout 3. The only difference was that the illustrations had a Shinobi headband. With the Vault-tech symbol on it.

Well, that confirms that I wasn't going crazy and this is, in fact, a game. I think. First thing I did was open the book. Strength, Perception, Endurance, the dump stat, Intelligence, Agility, Luck, it was all here! Okay, Charisma might be good if it provides bonuses to my teammates if it's anything like New Vegas but screw my teammates!

I'm sure somewhere, the Hokage, wherever he is, just got the urge to spank a kid and that kid was me. Oh well. Screw him too.

Anyway. The book was formatted like a children's book. On the left page was a description of the attribute, with a number 5, bordered by arrows with the + and – symbols within. On the right, was a picture of the attribute in question. A vault-boy lifting a massive weight like a circus strongman for strength, or a vault-boy being awesome by studying in the library for intelligence, or my personal favorite: A vault-boys path being crossed by a black cat and about to get beaned by an anvil. Irony was much beloved in Fallout. At the end, there was a summary, with arrows going up and down each number.

Just like that, I was torn between the two paths to godhood. It was between putting my five remaining points into Intelligence and learn new skills like they were going out of style or putting my points into Luck and let the universe itself shower me with gifts and love as it murders my enemies in comedic fashion.

Eh, I always went high INT because I _hate_ being dumb, so all my points went there. Now, I just have to decide what to do about my dump stat. Charisma. On one hand, in my games I took all the points away and distributed them evenly. I've never simply put them right into Luck, but I was now seriously considering just that.

See, on one hand, it will almost assuredly guarantee me perfect wins on everything. Gambling will become an absolute joke. So. Much. Money. To be made. On the other hand… Charisma makes it so people like me. I want to be liked. A lot. There were some really cool people that I wanted to befriend. Maybe turn Sasuke from his destructive path and get him some freaking _therapy_. Give Naruto a friend…maybe lots of friends. A high charisma character with 100 speech skill could _end_ the stigma against him. _Quickly_. I don't know how much the special stats affect general gameplay. Maybe they just affected skills like in Fallout 3. Maybe they affected _everything_.

But if that's the case, and Luck is _anything_ like in New Vegas? That becomes the most important stat in the game. Bar none. Intelligence is for personal preference, if I'm honest.

Dang, I wish I knew these things.

So, hesitantly, I subtracted all the points from Charisma, bringing it down to a measly 1 and raising my Luck to 9. I briefly consider taking a point from intelligence and putting it into luck, but I leave it. Again, personal preference. I pressed my little finger on the black button labeled 'done' and suddenly WOAH NELLY I FELT WEIRD as a warm, hot feeling washed itself all over me and in my brain and I could feel myself getting…smarter.

Woah.

Okay. Well, I hope I can handle my newfound social awkwardness.

…plans to raise my charisma later if I cannot are on the table.

For the first time in I don't know how long, I heard the sharp sound of a cash register ring in my ears. Green numbers appeared in my eyes, _+100_ , with a small meter beneath it, demonstrating progress from level 1 to level 2. The other kids laughed because my startled reaction was apparently funny. A second later, the adults joined in.

 _Oh boy._

…I wonder how long I'll have to wait until I can actually tag my skills?

* * *

 _Authors Notes: This is a port of a fanfic I've written on Spacebattles. Seeing as how this fic has over 50 chapters, I'm going to go ahead and bring it over here. This'll update once a day until it's caught up, and then it'll get the new chapter when I've written it. I hope everyone enjoys it.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

YES!

The Matron, in her infinite wisdom, in lieu of summoning the one person I will forever feel awkward around for the rest of my life, simply presented me with a bottle. I snatched that thing out of her hands in a way that I think surprised her and drank the sweet, warm, white liquid of life!

But in all seriousness, I liked eating this way. Forcing myself to not think while I ate and…yeah. Felt awful. I'm traumatized for life.

Anyway! The dark times are over now. I can eat without guilt. Which is awesome.

I'm not sure, but I think I've been here for over a year. Calendar flips that I've been keeping track of from my crib. Twelve makes a year. Unless I've been drastically mistaken and the place I'm living in has shorter or longer months than the old world.

Speaking of the place I live in, that would be Konoha, unless the walls are decorated with Konoha symbols in a nursery in Kiri for some _freaking reason_.

Bottle was empty.

I want another one!

The matron chuckled, a little impressed or disbelieving as she _handed me another vessel of beautiful formula_! Yes! Oh I hope this is a permanent thing because I am eating guilt free! It's like being on a diet but being able to eat all of the ice cream in the world without gaining a pound.

* * *

Later that night, I woke up. Which is weird because I usually slept like a _rock_ since I got here. Which is weird because it's actually a return to form in that I was kind of an insomniac before I ran that truck over with my car and missed the driver.

Grumbling aside, I stood up and gripped the bars of my crib. Underneath the door the light was on. People were talking and not being very quiet about it until being shushed by the familiar voice of the matron. I could still hear the whispers, though not as loud.

Whatever. Imma go back to bed.

I love game mechanics making it so I can go to sleep on command.

But I couldn't.

I got a small, green window that appeared before my eyes. _You cannot sleep while enemies are nearby._

Oh.

Oh no.

I can't deal with enemies! I'm still a _baby_ for petessake!

This! This isn't good! This is bad! I gotta hide! Oh _why_ didn't I put more points into Agility?

There's people out there that want to kill me! Maybe they're in the orphanage and about to kill the Matron! Not the Matron! She gave me bottles!

But then, I got hit with a wave of clarity. Boy to I wish I hadn't. A crimson wave of light surged through the windows and the room was suddenly filled with crying children. An oppressive weight, sickening in its cruelty seemed to press down on my soul and paralyzing my body. A chill went through my veins and my hair stood up on end.

The Kyuubi was attacking Konoha.

And that is a prime example of why the _Naruto_ universe is a _crappy_ one to live in. I mean it's just terrible. It's also on its way to a golden age. Or it was. The butterfly effect is a _%$#$_ to everyone, especially me right now.

Because I don't really belong here.

I collapsed to my knees. Unable to breathe as tears started to fall from my eyes, I fell onto my back.

There's no actual way I could survive here. I couldn't even get the Water Chip back to my Vault in Fallout 1. This? This is roleplaying and reality ensues on a whole 'nother level. I'm going to die because I don't know what routes to take because they're all gone. Because I'm here.

It was on the road to world peace, arguably better than our situation back home. But then I arrived. But maybe it's not too late!

I grabbed my blanket, sobbing uncontrollably as the ground beneath me shook and the roar of a horrific beast sounded in the distance, but way to loud in my ears anyway.

Maybe I can get out of here before I do any more damage! You know, just by existing!

Maybe it would be better if I just crawled into a hole and died.

I could barely move at this point, I only say red. Under the light of the door, I thought I saw shadows of beasts play out underneath it. I crawled under my blanket and held the fabric close to my nose.

It wasn't enough simply because air was passing through the blanky just fine, but points for trying! Right? No. It's not good enough. I gotta-

But then, the red light was gone and with it went the oppressive feeling that was cloying at every part of my mind. I _shoved_ the blanket away and gasped for air. I moved away from it as far as I could.

…that was horrible.

I don't like it.

The Matron, elderly lady that she was, burst in the room with the ferocity of the Kool-aide man, taking the door off its hinges and leaving an imprint in the wall as a soothing aura took place and made her seem like a freaking angel from God.

…I just want to go to bed.

Like that, I was out like a light.

* * *

A few years have passed since the New Halloween and I was able to come to grips with what happened. That the Kyuubi attacked and I was faced with the overwhelming feeling that I _had to commit suicide_. For reasons that made sense at the time.

Screw the butterfly effect. We'll see world peace happen butterfly effect or no.

Anyway, I'm adjusted, but the other kids still have nightmares. They've been waking up more often with the 'help I just had something try to kill me help me' scream rather than the 'I want something to eat' scream. Especially prevalent since they've started to adopt a normal sleep schedule.

…now that I think about it, not having their sleep schedule was a thing of game mechanics and made me stand out like a thumb. That…might come to bite me in the rear later. Or not, since I have high luck. Because luck is awesome. Still, something to keep in mind, though.

I was sitting in the corner of the play room, playing with blocks and trying to stack them at impossible angles out of boredom. The other kids were of doing their own thing. Socializing with them has been difficult. They…don't really like to spend time with me for some reason. I think it's because, as we've all learned how to talk, things have a tendency to sound a little _harsh_ or robotic or something. No innate social skills.

Low Charisma is already starting to bite me in the rear. However, I hope I'll be able to simply put points in speech to bypass that little _flaw_. Hopefully. I mean, it's not that bad right now anyway

The door to the play room and…holy _cow_. This is the first time I've ever seen him.

Sarutobi Hiruzen. The Hokage. The man we've been learning about since we could learn how to read. Dressed in white robes with a triangle hat. I had theorized that in real life, those robes would look ridiculous. I was completely wrong. They look awesome.

I see why Naruto wants the hat.

Speaking of our number one most unpredictable Ninja, there he was, in front of the Hokage with an enthusiastic smile on his face. Wow. This…huh.

This is an odd feeling. Seeing a character, I always knew to be fictional in the flesh. Not even as a cosplayer, but the real, true blue Uzumaki Naruto. He certainly _looked_ good.

"Here's the Nursery," The Matron put on a smile as she showed in the new kid.

"Thank you Kumiko," The Hokage said to the Matron.

Huh. She does have a name.

"Now Naruto," The Hokage turned. "I'll be back in a few hours. I have some important work to do, so why don't you go socialize and try to make some friends?"

"Okay, Ojisan!" Naruto returned with a happy smile.

With a farewell, The Hokage left without much fanfare.

Whelp, he must've been busy because I think several kids would've given their _eyeballs_ for a chance to meet the Hokage.

Not me since I know I'll meet him a lot when I become a Ninja. Which of _course_ I want to be a Shinobi. That's the point of the game! It's the _name_ of the game for crying out loud! It's the whole point I'm here.

Strange there wasn't much reaction from the other kids. They must not have recognized him.

"Children!" Kumiko called out. "This is Uzumaki Naruto. He's going to be staying with us for a while. Try to make him feel welcome, okay!"

The standard round of 'Hai, Onichaan' since she was basically our Grandmother at this point. Best woman ever. 10/10. With a smile she turned to leave…and I totally caught that smile fading into a frown.

…oh no.

That…oh, that sucks.

Kumiko's going to be prejudiced.

Naruto's gonna need a friend indeed!

I mean…I get it.

The Kyuubi was frankly the worst thing ever to happen to the village. To me. Even worse than _dying_. That's saying a lot. But, this kid? Blonde, enthusiastic and happy-go-lucky? He's a hero. Why? Because he's keeping it contained so it doesn't murder everything.

I mean I wish the Fourth could've murdered the Fox entirely – well, maybe not since he was apparently mind controlled into his attack. I never read Shippuden, but I did spoil myself until it got too stupid to even do that.

…I'm going to regret not spoiling myself that far.

Anyway, going back to Naruto who is currently bragging that he's friends with the Hokage and the other kids not believing him. He seems to be doing alright. The other kids are hanging onto every word because he's been with the Hokage for so long.

I hang out on the outskirts of the group while he talked all about his Ojisan, who was basically the most powerful Shinobi ever as far as Naruto was concerned. Shame I can't tell him about his Dad yet. I don't want to die again.

Eventually, as kids do, they got bored of hanging onto Naruto's every word. They went off to do other things, play Ninja, go-fish and other things. I stood up to go back to my blocks which had honestly turned into a meditation exercise when I got stopped.

"Hey you," I turned, and there was Naruto looking at me with a smile. "What's your name?

I stopped. So did the world, which grayed out and time had stopped, indicating that the game had paused. A green dialogue box popped open with a statement.

 _Enter your name._

 _Family Name:_

 _Given Name:_

…

I _stared_ at the screen, blinking. _Are you…are you serious?_

 _HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE?_ If I could move in the pause, I would have fallen to the floor, laughing my rear end off while also being more than a little creeped out. _Seriously, how? How do I not notice I don't even have a name?_

Eventually, I got myself together, still giggling, and started to decide on a name. I've always been fond of the name _Daisuke_ , so I entered that in the given name section. I used to be _big_ into Digimon when I was growing up and Davis, which is what his name was for the English dub, was my favorite character. So, it stuck.

I had no idea what I was going to do for the family name though.

Luckily, there was a question mark next to the _Family Name:_ space, so I pressed that. _Yamada…Nakamura…no…Shimoda? Shimoda. Shimoda Daisuke. Daisuke Shimoda._ I continued sounding it out in my head, testing it on the proverbial lips.

I like that one. _Shimoda Daisuke_ , I put in and pressed the _done_ button.

"Shimoda Daisuke," I blurted out unexpectedly. I accompanied it with a short bow. "Nice to meet you."

"You too!" He mimicked the bow.

"Ummm…" Okay, what to do? First meeting with the main character. Nervous. Very nervous. "I was going to go play with those blocks over there."

"Okay!" Naruto said. "Can I join you?"

"Sure."

A couple of other kids actually tried to come over to convince Naruto to come play with them instead. He turned them down, continually chatting my ear off about what it was like to be friends with the Hokage.

What sort of bizarre world have I stepped into?

Actually, these kids would all be orphans and wouldn't be conditioned to dislike Naruto because the other kids had parents who knew who Naruto was and disliked them, leading to the kids disliking Naruto for literally no reason.

Not me, though. 'Kids _adorable_.

"So, how old are you?"

"I'm three!" He said, holding up three fingers. "How about you?"

"Four," I replied, holding up nine fingers.

He laughed. "What? That's not three!"

"Well yeah, but I couldn't leave this hand out of it!" I had a doctorate in Insane Troll Logic. At this point, I think it's as real as everything else I'm going through. "See, if I raised this hand, then the other hand would get mad, so while the hand with four fingers gets to be right, the other hand gets to feel better by getting more fingers!"

Naruto guffawed.

I think it's luck that he thinks that's actually funny.

It occurs to me that if I'm a year older than him, then he and I won't be in the same class. I'll be in Neji, Lee and Tenten's group. Interesting.

That actually makes me feel good, because that gives me more time to level up and grind before I face the nightmare that is the Chunin exam.

Eventually, the Hokage did as promised and returned to check up on Naruto. This time, since everyone actually knew who he was, he got _swarmed_ it was hilarious. Naruto stood up and got all huffy. "Hey, get out of the way! He's _my_ Ojisan! Mooove!"

I actually chuckled at this as Kumiko used…I don't think it was killing intent, so much as it was 'Spanking Intent', but it got all the kids to gangway for Naruto. The Hokage patted Naruto on the head. "How was your day?"

"Great!" Naruto reported. "I made a friend!"

"Did you now?" The Hokage smiled. "Who is it?"

Naruto turned to me and eagerly beckoned me forward. As I came forward, I could actually feel killing intent coming from the other kid's eyes boring in on me. I bowed _deep_. "Hi, uh. Hokage-dono."

"This is Daisuke!" He smiled. "Hey stand up straight, you don't need to bow so low!"

"It's alright, Naruto," The Hokage replied. "But you can stand up straight."

"Right, uh…" I stood up straight. "It's nice to meet you."

"And you as well, young one," The Hokage smiled.

Wow. Uh…heh. You know, morality debates from my old world aside, standing in the guy's presence? He's the coolest guy in the world. Clearly cares about his village and people in it. Including me.

"So, children!" The Hokage called to everyone. "Gather around, I have a question for everyone!"

The kids did so and Naruto and I sat down.

"So, has anyone here thought about what they want to be when they grow up?" The Hokage asked.

All the hands went up, mine included if to ensure I wasn't the odd man out, with choruses of mememememe! Ringing out. The Hokage pointed at a kid at random. Named Miyamoto, I think it was. He had black hair in a bowl cut, but without the eyebrows, any unintended resemblance was minimal.

"I want to be a Ninja!"

"Hmmmm…" The Hokage said, nodding as if that was a very thoughtful response. It was naturally the one he was looking for. "You want to be a ninja. Who else wants to be a Ninja when they grow up?"

Again, memememememe all around!

"That's good!" The Hokage turned a little serious. "Being a Shinobi is very important. It's Shinobi that defend the village. It's Shinobi that ensures everyone gets to live a safe and happy life. By wanting to be a Ninja, you help everyone you meet here in the village!"

Everyone was hanging on what he said with baited breath.

"So it makes me so _proud_ ," He continued. "To see that all of you want to help keep the village safe and I know that each of you will _continue_ to make me proud."

"Now, does anyone know what the will of fire is?"

The will of fire is a philosophy upon which the village was founded upon. It emphas-

"I know, I know!" Naruto had his hand up, bouncing up and down in his seat as he proclaimed his knowledge loudly in my left ear.

"Okay, go ahead Naruto," The Hokage said with a smile.

"The Will of Fire means that everyone in the Village is family," Naruto said. "And everyone with the Will of Fire will love and cherish the village forever!"

…hey, what can you expect from a three-year-old? I'm actually impressed.

"Very good, Naruto!" The Hokage beamed and Naruto plastered a really happy grin on his face. "Yes. The will of fire is the heart of our village. All within it, with the will of fire can stand against any problem, no matter what it is, simply because we are united in love for our village."

And the sermon is being dumbed down for toddlers. Of course. It has to be done.

So while he talked and was very inspirational, I ended up missing most of the actual words he was saying. Helped deal with the nagging feeling that he was setting the kids up around me to become soldiers. Eeeeek.

Naturally, more time passed. Surprisingly, Kumiko was putting in an effort to not be horrible to Naruto, even while the rest of the care takers would rather he didn't exist.

This had the sad effect of pushing the other kids away from him while before they wanted to be his friend thanks to him being Hokage. This makes me sad.

Well, I'M not going to let that stop me! I'll be Naruto's best friend until he ends up on Team 7 and even beyond because…well, he needs better friends than Sasuke turns out.

Wait, can I do anything about that?

…

…nope!

Great, now I'm depressed.

* * *

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Naruto appeared right in my face and shouted, causing me to screamlikealittlegirl drop to the ground in astonishment.

"Geeze, Naruto!" I said, picking myself up. "You scared me!"

"I got you good, didn't I?" He grinned happily.

"Yes, you sure did," I said wryly. "It's my birthday already?"

"Yup!" Naruto said. "Come on, I got a present for you!"

He took me by the hand and I could do all of nothing against his Jinchūriki strength, he dragged me all the way to the play room where a small table was set up and _the freaking Hokage was sitting in one of the chairs._

What.

"Ah," He said, taking his pipe out of his mouth. "Happy birthday, Daisuke."

"But-but-but," I stuttered out.

"Calm down," The Hokage said, causing me to calm down immediately because he's got a jutsu for that. "I had some time and Naruto said he wanted to do something for your birthday. So here I am."

"I-thank you! Thank you, Hokage-dono," I said, bowing and righting myself.

How the _heck_ did I get so lucky to befriend Naruto enough to get Sarutobi to tolerate my presence with one charisma…oh. Right.

 **9 Luck**.

Derp.

"Here's my present for you!" Naruto said, thrusting a piece of paper.

It was a drawing. Crudely drawn, with two characters, one with brown hair and one with blond, labeled Daisuke and Naruto respectively.

You know, I was kind of figuring that I wasn't going to have a lot of friends growing up because of my choice in dump stat. But if I can only have one or two friends in my entire time here?

I lucked out.

"I love it!" I said, giving Naruto a giant bear hug. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"Gaah! Daisuke! Can't breathe!" Naruto said, kicking and flailing in my grasp.

"Oh, whoops!" I said, releasing him. "Sorry. I guess I don't know my own strength."

Wait. Have the benefits of having **5 Strength** already kicked in? At my young age? Questions for later.

"I'll admit I'm also here for another reason," The Hokage said, standing up with his hands behind his back. "You turned five today, right?"

I nodded rapidly.

"Then you'll be ready to enter the Ninja academy when the next semester starts," The Hokage said with a smile. "You are still planning on attending, aren't you?"

Attending the academy is the whole point of the game. That's where all the stuff to do is. It's also a terrifying prospect because while I haven't seen all of Shippuden, I have seen Madara fight. That, right there, is a very nice tall glass of **nope**.

But if I play my cards right, I'll be pretty terrifying myself.

Though I haven't seen a single time where my game saved, which is worrisome. If I screw up, I'm not sure I get another do-over.

But I can't not try. I'd never forgive myself.

So I looked up at him, his face seemed…impassive. I gave him a vigorous nod. "Yup! I wanna be the best Ninja ever!"

"Very good," The Hokage said with a happy smile.

"That's too bad because I'm going to be the best Ninja ever!" Naruto said.

A flash of annoyance, then I mentally sighed and let it go. "Well yeah, you're going to be Hokage. But you still need awesome ninja to order around, don't you?"

"Yeah! Let's play Hokage!" Naruto said with a smile.

"Wait a minute Naruto," The Hokage said. "I need to give Daisuke my present."

"Oh yeah!" Naruto said, sitting down on the chair.

The Hokage took out, from the back of his robes, a book. It was small and had a black cover. Taking it in my hand revealed it was leather. I opened it up and…it showed my stat screen. A vault boy with a vault-tech headband walking along in an animated ink drawing. I flipped the page. It was my inventory, then my quest data and map. It was a Pipboy. In book form.

"Naruto told me how much you like to read and write," The Hokage said as I was perusing the book. "So I got you a journal to write down how your days went. If you treat it well, it'll last you for your whole life.

Okay, game did _not_ pause when I opened my Pipboy. Good to know. With the biggest, most genuine smile I could manage, I bowed low. "Thank you so _much_ Hokage-dono."

"You're very welcome Daisuke," The Hokage said. "Now did either of you want cake?"

Heck. Yes.

* * *

Okay, so later, after we had cake, the Hokage left and Naruto and I played a _long_ game of Hokage, I was able to look at my book in peace.

Luckily, darkness did _nothing_ about my ability to see the books contents, so I was able to look at my character sheet.

 **Daisuke Shimoda**

 **HP: 200**

 **Chakra: 75**

 **SPECIAL**

 **Strength: 5**

 **Perception: 5**

 **Endurance: 5**

 **Charisma: 1**

 **Intelligence: 10**

 **Agility: 5**

 **Luck: 9**

 **Skills:**

 **Barter (CHA): 9**

 **Chakra Control(INT): 27**

 **Fuinjustu(INT): 27**

 **Genjutsu(PER): 17**

 **Medicine(INT): 27**

 **Melee Weapons(STR): 17**

 **Ninjutsu(END): 17**

 **Pick Lock(PER): 17**

 **Ranged Weapons(AGI): 17**

 **Sneak(AGI): 17**

 **Speech(CHA): 9**

 **Survival(PER): 17**

 **Taijutsu(END): 17**

 **Perks:**

 **None.**

 **EXP: 100/1000**

And that was all there was on my character sheet. Sort of empty, but I was level one. In the longest tutorial in gaming history. At this point, it's a miracle that I'm not crazy. Or maybe I am. Still…I'm concerned about how low my Speech is. That's…I mean, in the games, speech was only used when you were trying to convince people of something or to get them to do something. I think that's why I've been getting so much leeway in combination with my luck stat but…that is really low. I'll have to put points into it at some point.

Not next level up, but soon. Before I hit level 5, definitely.

I flipped the page and that's when the book got started with the manual proper, which gave me a sense of relief.

 _Hello and welcome!_ It read. _Thank you for choosing to play Shinobi: A Naruto RPG._ _We're very proud of the work we've put into making the game system part of the world and allowing you to experience life as a Shinobi of Konoha, either good or evil. There are no limits to the choices you will need to make to survive this harsh and unforgiving world of flashy jutsu and shadowy betrayal._

Well, that's not ominous at all.

The book basically went on to talk about things I already knew, telling me that it was an RPG. However, this little note about the game was very interesting. _However, due to the circumstances of the game world and how it interacts, some features have not been implemented. Such as a save and load feature. While we fully intend to input these features at a later date, we will likely hold off on such an update until all current play times are finished to avoid crashing the game and taking all of reality with it._

It was also quite terrifying. This game literally has no replay-ability at all. I mean the length of the tutorial kind of clued me into that already but come on! I can't make different choices or anything? Well, on the bright side, it'll be much harder to become a sociopath ala Sakura syndrome.

…wait. I'm in the same universe as her. Huh.

A couple more paragraphs, including one interesting one about the S.P.E.C.I.A.L stats. _Each stat gives a flat bonus to skills and physical or mental attributes. However, due to the superhuman world that SHINOBI takes place in, each of these stats also increases in strength the higher level you are. A shinobi with 100 Taijutsu and 5 strength won't be doing as much damage as a Shinobi with 50 Taijutsu and 10 strength. Though the difference in skill will still be obvious. Each stat does give better bonuses as the player levels, except for Luck, which is already overpowered enough._

I can't really argue with that.

 _As a result, if you picked a dump stat, it will eventually become serviceable through this process, though not until the later levels._

Oh, okay. Whew. That means I won't be almost friendless forever.

Just most of the time. Dang it.

I leafed through the manual some more. Then it started talking about skills. _Each skill represents a player's skill and maximum potential in an area. For example, a Shinobi with 50 Ninjutsu can learn a Ninjutsu that requires 75 in Ninjutsu, but will be severely handicapped when attempting to perform that jutsu. A high Chakra Control skill can minimize this, but it won't entirely remove the enhanced chakra cost and won't bring nearly the same results._

Good to know. To be perfectly honest, I think Taijutsu is a good first skill to max out, simply because I'll be using it start to finish. People with weapons have this annoying tendency to be disarmed and I don't want that to happen to me.

Especially not in the literal sense.

Turning some more pages, I came to Perks.

 _Perks are the secret weapon in every player's arsenal. They allow the player to bend and at higher levels outright break the rules of the game and the setting. Sick of getting knocked back and on your rear by an overzealous Ninjutsu or Taijutsu user? Get the Stone Wall perk and become completely immune to getting knocked back and even gain resistance to melee and Taijutsu damage!_

Okay that's _awesome_. I mean, holy cow! Just sit there and be completely unaffected especially Wind Jutsu's, I imagine. but I'll also have to be careful. I don't want to paint a target on my back until Higher levels, so I can laugh at the opposition as they try to stop me.

…I like this.

After that, there was a giant list of every perk in the game. Things that reduced the chakra cost of Ninjutsu, stone wall…I'm actually getting excited looking at all of this. But I should probably save this for later. Not tired, but I could see a caretaker come in to make sure I'm asleep.

So, bed time!

* * *

 _Authors Notes: Well. Darn. I say I'm going to update daily, my internet goes out for several days. Updates will be daily starting on monday. Thanks for your patience.  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Eventually, as all things must, summer came to an end and I shed tears of joy as the single most boring period of my life came to a close. I was so happy, my backpack was full of lunch and I was heading to the academy for throwing fireballs and being awesome.

Basically being a Shinobi.

I am ready. I AM SO FREAKING READY I CAN'T STAND IT.

I MEAN REALLY.

"Bye Naruto," I said, waving at him over my shoulder as I left.

"Bye Daisuke!" Naruto called out from behind me.

What a great kid. He'll definitely grow up to be the hero the story needs. And me? Well, I'm going to learn how to…well, first I'm going to learn the Academy three, level up a bunch of times and hopefully be able to learn cool stuff from whoever my Jounin Sensei is. Then I'm going to roflstomp pretty much everything that stands in my way and…I actually don't know. Maybe I'll travel?

Barring any railroading, this is going to be great.

 _Quest Update: The First Step_

 _Attend your first day of school_.

FINALLY! YES! THE FIRST QUEST OF THE GAME! WITH BIG REWARDS AND BIGGER PAYOFFS! HALLELEUJA!

I approached the front gate of the academy. Parents, teachers and new students were gathered together, standing before the podium to watch the Hokage give his speech to further indoctrinate the impressionable young youths before him to help bolster Konoha's mercenary force.

Don't get me wrong, I like Konoha. Their policies make my old world morals cringe and scream in agony and outrage. But they don't apply right now. Not in the slightest. Not until I can back them up with a giant fireball. Or a million.

…by hook or by crook, I am stealing a fire jutsu from the Uchiha. Those are awesome. Also, irony points. Those are always good.

Is the speech still going on?

"…you will learn what the Will of Fire…"

 _It's still going on_. Anyway, I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it, in this world, to do what I've always done and put all my points into one skill every level until it's maxed or to split them evenly. On one hand, it guarantees that I WILL be able to handle anything involving that skill. If it involves, say stealth or Taijutsu, where an error could mean death, I won't fail barring obscene penalties. With the right perks, even those won't be so bad I can't maneuver around.

But if I need a certain skill at a certain time and I haven't trained it, which has happened in my games, it could go badly. Very badly. We could be in a fight without needing too, like in the case of Stealth when I decided to max out Guns first.

Though maxing out Guns first was worth it to _delete_ the first Legion Patrol I saw.

Hmmmm…let's think about this and decide when I level up.

How's the speech coming?

"…thank you."

Perfect timing.

With that, we were lead into the academy to begin orientation. Didn't see Iruka, which makes sense, there's more teachers than just him. My sensei was an older guy. Grey hair. Had an eyepatch, which looked intimidating.

"Good morning students," He said, writing Kanji on the board. "My name is Okawa Yuko. I'll be your Sensei for the duration of your time here."

I look around the class and see literally no one I should be able to recognize. Nope. No Konoha 11 for me. I am on my own. Which could be a good thing. I don't want to get mad at Neji this early. Because I would get mad.

"Now, before we begin with the rest of orientation, I'm going to pass out a quiz."

Groans passed through the class, only for the whole class, including me, to get sent straight to seated-attention when the room shook and lightning strikes a little birdy outside on a clear day. At least I think it struck a little birdy.

"It's just a survey to see what your preferences for specialization are," Sensei Okawa snapped, handing a pile to a kid on the end of each row.

Eventually I got mine. I looked at it and mentally sighed. It was the G.O.A.T from Fallout 3, only modified to fit the Naruto universe. It was stupid. Really stupid. It was the one thing I remember disliking from Fallout 3. I did _not_ spend fifty bucks to sit in a classroom to take a written exam.

So, I looked at all the questions and filled out the bubbles at random. I don't really care what it said, but If they're going to subject me to a meaningless test, especially when I get to just pick the results of the test later, I'mma doodle a smiley face with little dots.

Sure enough, the moment I finished the test, a screen with all the skills showed up with. With three tagged skills. In the Fallout games, when you tag a skill, you picked what you were supposed to be good at. In Fallout 3, it added 15 skill points to the skills themselves, to give you a boost. The three skills currently tagged were _Melee Weapons_ , _Ranged Weapons_ and _Barter_.

The only one I thought was good was Barter, since that made supplies cheaper. However, the other two were Melee Weapons, which I already decided I don't want and ranged weapons, where the whole point was to toss them at the enemy and end up restocking at the end of a successful mission. Since we have jutsu, which is like ranged weaponry but with infinite ammo, that just makes it an impractical money sink. So, I untagged all three and put them where _I_ thought they should go.

That would be Taijutsu, Chakra Control and Speech. Taijutsu because that's going to get me a lot of experience in the short run, Chakra Control because it's just that valuable in learning jutsu (which I suppose will be around levels 20 to 40 before seals take over) and Speech to compensate for my crappy charisma. Hopefully, that'll make for an…at least _bearable_ time at school. This brought Taijutsu to 32, Chakra Control to 42 and Speech to 24.

Pressing 'done', I watched as the dots on my test _skipped and rearranged themselves on the test by magic_. I snorted.

"Shimoda," Sensei called to me. "Is there something funny?"

"Uh…sorry, Sensei," I said, sheepishly. "I just got a joke that got told to me this morning."

He groaned in annoyance. "Very well."

There is no way he bought that.

*cha-ching!*

I saw the EXP bar go from 100 to 200, and then another message popped up. _Charisma Check Failed: 1/6._

Nope. Did not buy that at all. Then where'd did all the EXP come fr-oh, right. The G.O.A.T.

After the test was passed, we were told to report to the training fields outside the academy. On my way out, I could feel Sensei Okawa's eyes on me. Eugh _that's creepy_. Like the feeling of my nonexistent sins crawling on my back.

So, we were escorted by another Chunin whose name I don't know yet. We were in lines the whole time, boys on one side, girls on the other. I briefly considered goose stepping out of audacity but decided against it when I realized I would accidentally kick the person in front of me. And the fact that no one around me would get the joke.

In the training room, we were greeted by a silver haired Chunin, complete with official flak jacket. I always thought those were really cool. I want one.

"Hello everyone," He waved at us. "I'm Mizuki and I'll be your Taijutsu instructor."

Hey, someone else I recognized! Cool! I wonder if he's a complete jerk right now or if that comes later. I hope it's later. I haven't actually seen too much about Mizuki aside from him getting mauled by a mountain of clones. Which, admittedly was pretty funny when he tried to kill Naruto just before.

Anyway, that was before, this is now.

"So, who here has some Taijutsu training?" Mizuki asked.

Hands went up, but mine wasn't one of them. I guess I did _technically_ have training now, with the skill tags, I don't think it's worth to tip my hand just yet. There was a potential traitor in the midst, after all.

"So about half of you?" Mizuki said with a sniff. "Alright, we can work with that. Everyone that raised their hand step over here. Everyone that did not, over here."

I moved over with the group who did not raise their hands. When we were in place, Mizuki started matching us up in pairs. My sparring partner was a prospective Kunoichi, with long black hair with locks going down her shoulders. She wore a green shirt with a white stripe going down the center, with black pants and ninja-sandal's.

"Hi, I'm Daisuke," I said with a smile. "What's your name?"

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Hisako."

"Bow to your partners!" Mizuki ordered and I followed. Upon coming back up, I saw that she had returned it.

"Now, you each will spar with each other until the bell rings. Then you will take a quick water break and we will head over to the target range," Mizuki said. "No permanent injury. No broken bones. This is just to see where everyone stands. We'll be watching. Ready? Set!"

The bell rung.

Hisako wasted _no time_ in rushing me with a fist directed at my face. I slapped it out of the way with a hand to her forearm, before retaliating with a kick to the stomach, which sent her back a couple feet. She blinked, holding her stomach, looking at me with a risen eyebrow.

I offered a small smile.

She assumed an actual stance and started to circle.

This time, I went in for the attack, going for a fist to the face which disguised another punch to the stomach. She crossed her wrists and caught the punch, sending it upward over her head, then she counter attacked by bringing her elbow down on my shoulder-OW THE PAIN!

I went down with a yelp and saw my _health bar for the first time, and it was going down by forty-five points, yowza_. That spelled the end of my feint and I got up and quickly moved back before she could hit my face for real.

I brought up my fists in a pseudo boxing stance. Okay, clearly this girl knew what she was doing. And this is literally the first fist fight I've ever been in either my lives. She moved forward in a zigzag, before she went in for a circle kick to knock my feet out from under me. I simply jumped over it and brought my fist down on her face on the way down.

She was knocked to the floor only to jump back up and away from me.

You know, if I could go for a permanent injury, this fight would've been over much more quickly. This is getting a little bor-ohcrapdodge!

She came back in with a fist to the face, which I dodged. I tried my own punch to the chest, but she dodged to the side and kicked at my stomach, which I dropped to the floor to dodge, hopping right back up to kick her in the stomach again.

The kick landed and she was knocked back onto her rear.

"Why do you keep-" She breathed heavily. "Kicking me in the stomach?"

"I dunno, obvious target," I said, shrugging.

She looked up and glared, rising sharply to her feet, about to say something.

The bell dinged. She glared at me and simply walked off with a huff.

 _Cha-ching!_

I will never get used to that. Another 100 EXP and suddenly, I'm now 30% of the way to level 2. Whoo! I'm on the highway to l33tness now!

Okay, not really. But still. I'm guessing radiant quests will be a thing aren't there.

 _Another settlement needs your-_

PRESTON I SWEAR TO-oh, the class is leaving. Whoops.

I hurried over to the group and kept pace with the back. I didn't see Hisako again which I will count as a blessing because I do _not_ want to get jumped by a bunch of students who may, in fact, be as good or better as I am. At least not until I can be sure that non-lethal K. O's actually get me experience. I hope they do. Or this is going to be a _long_ school year.

 _Long four years_ , actually.

So, there were five targets.

"Okay!" Mizuki called out. "So, you have five kunai in the little bucket to your right. You must throw them all and try to hit the center of the target as close and or as often as you can! When everyone is finished and we give the all clear, you will go and collect your kunai and deposit them in the bucket for the next student. Is that clear?"

There were scattered 'Hai, Sensei's' scattered throughout the group.

"I said," Mizuki cleared his throat. "IS THAT CLEAR!"

"HAI, SENSEI!" I certainly shouted at the top of my lungs.

"Much better!" Mizuki nodded with approval. "But seriously, wait until we give the all clear. People with bad aim become really good at hitting people when they don't want to be."

Ooh. That can't happen to me, right? A critical miss? My high luck makes me less likely to critically miss. Actually if I remember correctly, it makes enemies less likely to critically hit but more likely to critically miss. Hmmm. The rule is important and must be followed.

So, I wait patiently for my turn, watching some amazing shots, some terrible shots, one that hit a bird nesting ten feet above the target. I guess it was whistling a little loud.

…if I did that, would it give me EXP?

Eventually, it came around to my turn. I took hold of the Kunai. My ranged weapons was only 17. Only one thing for it.

LEROOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!

I missed 1, 2, hit the target with the third, missed again with the forth and with the fifth…the fifth buried itself in the bullseye, becoming completely invisible.

The all clear was given and I went to retrieve my Kunai. Well, numbers one through four were easy enough, but as I dug into the straw of the target, I took hold of the handle and pulled. It wouldn't _budge_.

 _Strength Check Failed: 5/7._

Oh boy. "Uhhh…can I get some help?"

Mizuki was by my side in an instant. Kind of creepy, actually. "What'd you do?"

"Somehow my Kunai got stuck Mizuki-sensei," I explained, still pulling futilely.

He scoffed. "Seriously? Here, watch me."

He took hold of the handle. "You just have to put your back into it-hng!"

He pulled with everything he had, but the kunai refused to budge. Mizuki looked at it with frustrated confusion. "Kid, how hard did you throw this thing?"

"About as hard as the others," I said, rubbing the back of my head.

Mizuki's string of cusswords under his breath as he tried to dislodge the kunai became increasingly comical as he strained. Eventually, he did get it out, and pulled a large chunk of wood which was stuck on the bent end of the Kunai.

"Whatever, we have spares," He said, pocketing the kunai. "Try not to do that again."

"I'll do my best, Sensei," I said, rubbing the back of my head again with an uneasy chuckle.

With that, I stuck to the back of the group of students as it was now time to head to another class.

 _Cha-ching!_

Only 60 EXP? Not even a bonus from my high INT? Oh whatever. Now I just need 640 To level. Whatever. The lines were back up, with Mizuki facing us. "Now that we've had a chance to see how each of you handle Taijutsu and Bukijutsu-"

Wait, what? Oh, right. Weapons.

"We'll take a break for lunch. The little park outside is open, feel free to sit under the shade, play on the swings, whatever," Mizuki gestured. "We'll be back to class in an hour so make sure you eat fast and get your energy out. More than you already have, that is."

Welp, I had my backpack, so off I went!

I separated from the main group, walking around the wall and out of sight from the main compound. I…had a fabulous idea.

I dug out my black book. The thing never seemed to leave my possession for long. I flipped over the inventory screen and…yup! There it was. In my inventory, was my lunch of rice balls, sauce and delicious sushi. I always loved sushi.

So in Fallout 3, you ate food and stuff through the inventory screen. I wonder if I can do the same thing here with the book. So…I tapped the food item to select it…then I tapped it again and it disappeared from my inventory and I was graced with rice-ball taste on my tongue.

Wow. Huh. Well, let's go for the packets of soy sauce…huh. Okay, that was way too strong. Didn't mix well at all way. Okay, I tap a sushi roll and it's delicious. I almost tap a wasabi packet, but decide I'm not crazy. So, I simply dig out the remaining sushi roll and enjoy it like a normal person.

Due to eating literally half of my lunch via assimilation, I was done fairly early.

With that, I stood up and looked at the concrete wall.

There was another experiment I wanted to try. So, tree-walking. Apparently, you needed to utilize your chakra to stick to the surface of a wall. Too little, you fall off. Too much, and you break the tree. Though in the case of concrete walls, I might just go flying off. Although…breaking stuff like that might have been the basis for Tsunade's megaton punch jutsu.

I know that's not what it's called but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. Anyway, back to tree-walking.

I want to try it. So, I lift up my foot, channel chakra to my foot and try to stick. Anchor.

 _Cha-ching!_

 _Chakra Control Check Passed: 42/25._

10 EXP? Seriously?

Alright, whatever. My foot is stuck to the wall in glorious fashion! Excellent! Now for the other foot.

With more than a little bit of trepidation, I pull my other foot off the ground, keeping the other foot stuck to the wall. With some focus, I channel some chakra to the other foot as well and…

 _Cha-ching!_

 _Chakra Control Check Passed: 42/40._

25 EXP. Okay. 605 to go.

 _Cha-ching!_

What'd I do that time?

 _Perk Unlocked: Tree Walker_

 _Using your chakra, you can walk up and down walls with ease!_

150 EXP! NOW WE'RE TALKING!

Wait, how's my Chakra?

The little bar underneath my magically refilled health bar, wasn't budging. Huh. I guess it's because I'm not using it up or getting rid of it? I guess? Whatever, it's awesome. I get to act like Spider-Man _and_ I got the biggest EXP boost I've seen in _ever!_ See, this is cool.

How much do I need to level again? 455. Okay.

Maybe I should try walking on water next? Eh, there's nothing nearby. Darn. Oh well, this is great. Rasengan? Nah. I can see that having an arbitrarily high skill check simply because of what it is.

I dropped to the floor and sat on the ground.

Think I should try using the 'wait' command?

Nah. I don't want to miss the bell by accident. Okay. Ummmmmm…darn.

So, skill points? Dump them in one spot or shift them around? Speech needs help. But maxing Taijutsu as fast as I can…agh. It's the same arguments I keep sifting in my head. Not going to get anything done.

You know what, whatever. Let's try the Rasengan. How'd it go again?

So, I held out my hand, started to pool chakra, to spin the air into a ball, then another ball going the other way then I felt a sting as the chakra in my hand disappeared. Waving away the pain in my hand, I read the inevitable message that I knew was coming.

 _Chakra Control Check Failed: 42/80_.

80?! Then how did Naruto…? He used a shadow clone to give himself a boost. Derp.

Then the bell rang. My chakra was slowly replenishing at any rate, so I wasn't worried as I shouldered my bag again and ran to step in line.

We were lead back into the classroom we first started in, with Okawa-sensei standing at the blackboard. "Welcome back, class. So, now, we're going to talk about Chakra. Can I have a volunteer to describe what chakra is."

My hand shot straight up because I have 10 INT. This will be a breeze.

"Yes, Shimoda?"

Nice.

"Chakra is a mix of physical and spiritual energies, generated by Chakra Coils," I rattled off. "It is what fuels all Jutsu and is the foundation of everything Shinobi do."

"Very good," Okawa nodded.

 _Cha-ching!_ 100 EXP. That leaves me with 355 more until I, _finally_ , hit level 2.

Luckily I was able to keep my victory dance in my head and Okawa continued to go on with a lecture about all of the ways chakra could be used and how seals were the basis of shaping and molding chakra, and how we use those in conjunction with moving the chakra to where it needed to go.

Fascinating stuff. I know that in my old world there were lots of people who believed in similar practices, though the effect was nowhere near as pronounced as it is here; it was more thought of as a spiritual pursuit anyway.

But this also brought to mind something I've usually considered. When I was growing up, I used to play Neverwinter Nights and Dungeons and Dragons. I always, always rolled a sorcerer and built him around one, simple, thing: Metamagic.

I _hate_ casting animations.

They take too long, announce your presence to the enemy and if you're paralyzed you can't do anything. Specializing in Taijutsu can go a long way in helping me avoid little things like interruptions, especially if I obtain some sort of 'evasive' style but I'm not sure such a style exists in the game world and it doesn't actually solve the problem that's really starting to irk me: I will end up with casting animations. Or, hand seals. I might also have to at least say the name of my jutsu if the world is as similar to the one from the Anime.

…wow, that line of thinking is bizarre. I'm in a cartoon. I violent, bloody cartoon about a crapsack world. But still a cartoon.

Anyway. I do have a list of perks in my book, so I should really take a look at what I have available to me. Shame I don't have a walkthrough to get the best perks, but no use crying over what-ifs. Though, the question of what if springs another thought. Are there any jutsu that didn't require hand seals?

Besides the Rasengan…which is far and away one of the best jutsu's in the world, which I take as a sign that I'm on the right track…there was Tsunade's megaton-punch thing. Which was gathering your chakra up and releasing it at the time of impact. Didn't seem to be any hand seals involved.

Huh. Well, that jutsu fits into two of my tagged skills; Taijutsu and Chakra control. Probably be a reasonably high requirement for both, but it's something to shoot for. I wonder if I can just figure it out like I did tree-walking and presumably, the Rasengan if that failed Chakra Control check is anything to go on, or if I need to be taught by Tsunade herself. Hmmm…

By the way, speaking of tree walking, what would have happened if I failed that check? Put too little in it, I just fall off. Put too much, the tree explodes… _wait._ I just thought about this! And it's the perfect cover story! I learn Tsunade's megaton punch and if someone asks me about it, I could just say I thought about weaponizing the side effects of putting too much chakra in a tree-walking jutsu! Perfect!

"Shimoda!"

"Huh?" I sprang to attention as the room shook and lightning struck outside the windows.

"Care to answer the question?"

"…I'm terribly sorry, Sensei, I dosed off," He looked mad. "Please repeat the question?"

 _Cha-ching!_

 _Speech Check Success: 24/20_.

Whew! Enhanced speech is already saving my butt! With 10 EXP to boot.

"Do you know what seals we use in our jutsu," He asked levelly.

 _Cha-ching!_

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/9._

50 EXP. Awesome.

"There's Ram, Boar, Tiger, Bird, Rat, Monkey, Dragon, Ox, Snake, Hare, Horse, and Ox," I recited from memory.

"…that's very good, Shimoda," Okawa said, somewhat surprised. The class, dull though it is, becomes somewhat interesting when Okawa demonstrates a chakra-control exercise to stick a leaf to his finger and make it dance across his hand.

I wonder if he can make it do that can-can. I probably could.

"Students!" Sensei Okawa called over the sound of the bell. "Your homework is to practice the leaf exercise and you will be required to demonstrate it when you come in tomorrow."

So I'm required to make a leaf do the can-can? Awesome! I will train my leaf to be the best can-can dancing leaf in the entire elemental countries! The fact that it will be the only can-can dancing leaf in the entire elemental countries is superfluous and unimportant!

Also, 295 EXP until level. Sweet.

I stood up and left the building, feeling Okawa's eye still looking at me. Part of me would appreciate it if he had a preference for dishonesty, but that would be bad for everyone else in the long run. He already seemed to be willing to let me off easily, especially since he caught me lying.

…that is bad. Lying is bad and I should feel bad and…no, lying's a fact of life of the Elemental Countries. I need to accept it and make the best of-oh who am I kidding. This place is king crapsack world on crapsack mountain.

I'm just glad I didn't land in 40K. This place has NOTHING on that nutty universe.

 _Quest Updated: The First Step_.

 _Completed: Attend your first day of school._

 _Return to the orphanage._

On my way, mystical dialogue boxes!

Wait…I'm not Deadpool. I need my own gimmick.

So I quickly made my way back to the Orphanage and opened the door. I had _expected_ Naruto would be waiting for me with baited breath. What I got was a look at _nothing_.

"Ummm...Naruto?" I called after.

"He stepped out," The Matron replied, stepping around a corner. "How was your first day at the academy?"

"Awesome!" I said, gushing like the eight-year-old I supposedly was. "We got to fight each other and throw kunai and I got every question right and-"

"Okay, okay," The Matron smiled, patting me on the head. "I'm glad you had a good day. Go ahead and wash up for dinner."

…stupid level 1 charisma. I really need to fix that one of these days. Whatever. Wonder where Naruto went off too. Hope he's okay.

I heard a door slam to the right.

"What was that?" I asked the Matron, who had turned around to head to the kitchen.

"I don't know," She said over her shoulder at me.

 _Quest Update: The First Step_

 _Completed: Return to the orphanage._

 _Investigate the noise._

"I'll be right there," I said, turning to go check it out.

I turned a corner and there, at the door to the orphanages cellar, were two of my fellow orphans; Santo Naora and Ashida Rikyu. They were students too, apparently. They had slammed it shut and were holding the door shut with their backs as they braced themselves with their legs against the opposite wall.

"So, what's up?" I asked.

They looked at me, looking rather panicked.

"Nothing!" Naora said.

"Yeah, go mind your own business!" Rikyu added.

Okay, I may have 1 charisma but there's more than one way to skin a cat.

"Okay, Obasaan just asked me to wash up," I replied. "Sorry to bother you."

I walked past them, clearly going to the washroom. I shut the door and turned on the sink. Then I opened the door as _quietly as I could._

 _Sneak Check Success: 17/15_.

10 EXP.

 _Perception Check Success: 5/5._

 _+20 EXP._

Ooh, another one I might need to upgrade at some point in the future. That was close.

"How long until you think they'll go away?" Naora asked Rikyu.

"I don't know," he replied in a whisper. "I've didn't think rats could get that big."

"Why did you even _feed_ them soldier pills?" Naora asked. She sounded like she was close to crying.

Oh crap.

See, I'm scared of rats. Not in the 'I was traumatized when a rat yelled at me then ran away when I was a kid' sort of scared, but in the 'I know those things have iron in their teeth, will eat through anything, are incredibly smart and can develop an insatiable taste for human blood upon getting a taste'. If they've mutated to be even more dangerous, and if that mutation was _any_ sort of permanent, then kids were going to die unless something is done about them _now_. Especially the babies in the nursery, who were _very_ vulnerable and that could start a horrible chain reaction.

"It was _your_ idea!" Rikyu returned hotly. "So you get to tell Obaasan!"

"You're the one who said it was a good idea," Naora snapped back. "…we should get out of here. Daisuke's already been by here and if we're still here, we'll look suspicious."

"So then what do we do?" Rikyu asked, sounding pretty scared.

"Hope the soldier pills wear off?" Naora offered weakly.

Ooh, good point. The rats are still a problem, though.

"We'll tell Obaasan about the rats after dinner," Naora nodded, some semblance of calm restored. "We can be sure the pills will have worn off about then. Then she can clean them up and no-one will be the wiser!"

Hmmm…if they fed them whole soldier pills, to a body of their size and density, I don't think they'll wear off for a while. Possibly not for another few hours if not clear until tomorrow.

They stood up and ran off toward the kitchen and I shut off the Water.

 _Quest Updated: The First Step_

 _Completed: Investigate the Noise_

 _Clear the cellar of soldier-rats_.

'Soldier-rats'? I guess it's more creative than simply 'giant rats'.

I opened the door to the basement, the darkness not being inviting at all. Then at the bottom of the steps, I saw a pair of glistening eyes.

Oh _no_. You are _not_ getting upstairs. I swiftly closed the door behind me and _leapt_ down the stairs. It squealed at me, revealing those darkened teeth that frankly _freaked_ me out, but it wasn't fast enough to dodge the two feet which _stomped_ down on its head, breaking its neck instantly.

+ _5 EXP_.

I heard squeals and I turned around, seeing rats feasting on the various stores of food down here. Yeah, none of that's edible anymore. It wasn't that dark in here, though that's because of the torches lit and mounted on the walls.

The rats rushed forward. Two of them went for my legs but I jumped and tried to stomp on one again, though the rat simply dodged and _bit me in the calf why?!_

 _-15 HP_.

I slammed a one-handed haymaker down on its head and it _still wasn't dead_.

One jumped and clawed at my arm, pain shooting out from the scratches in my skin and blood started to trickle, I punched that one back down to the ground and kicked it in the face.

 _-10 HP._

 _+5 EXP._

Nice. But how many are left- _AHHOW!_

The back of my knee got slashed open, putting me on my knee in shock, and the rat _then tackled me_ in the back, sending me back to the ground. Suddenly, I was getting double teamed and sliced up.

 _-10 HP._

 _-15 HP._

 _-10 HP._

Yeah. I'm in _deep $#$_ here.

I span on my back, putting an elbow to a rats face and bashing it away from me with the entirety of my forearm. I leapt back up, but the rat that was slicing up my back was now clinging to my back with razor claws and a chunk of my shoulder in its mouth for good measure.

 _-1HP ._

 _-1HP._

 _-1HP…_

My health was depleting continuously because the rat on my back was applying a damage over time with his bite and it was _super painful!_ _GEEZE!_

I jumped up and fell on my back, once, twice until the DOT stopped and the rat dropped limply from my back.

 _+5 EXP_

It was worth more than that you piece of crap game system.

This was bad. I was down to 129 HP from the DOT plus all the other attacks. I'm fairly sure my arm was close to being crippled, which was really bad in of itself. Not only that, but my quest journal hadn't updated yet, meaning there's another rat around her somewhere.

I was breathing haggardly and blood seeped from the wounds I had acquired. Where's the rat? _Where's the rat?_

Seriously, where?

Enemies don't usually use stealth like this.

Not in any of the RPG's I used to play.

A squeal had me looking up to see themissingratdivingformyfaceohCRAP!

It started to slice and claw at my face and I was beating it with my fists to get it off.

 _-20HP._

 _-25HP._

 _-25HP._

 _FREAKING EXTRA HEADSHOT DAMAGE!_

Then I forced it off through excessive use of force. It tried to bite me on the nose but he was flung off with as much gusto as I could muster. Blood leaked in my eyes making strain to keep them open through the sting.

Then the game graced me with another message.

 _Your head has been crippled! Use a medical jutsu or sleep in a bed to heal the damage!_

Well, good to know using a bed still heals me.

In my swimming vision, I was having a bad time trying to pick out the rat from the shadows, which seemed to be blurring into one another, with the torchlight.

Oh crap.

Oh crap oh crap oh crap.

This is very bad.

Then, I saw it.

Rushing toward me, I saw the distinct blur of the rat rushing for my legs.

Luck, don't fail me now!

The kick to its head connected, sending it sprawling.

 _+5EXP._

 _Quest Updated: The First Step_

 _Completed: Clear the cellar of soldier-rats_

 _Talk to Matron Kumiko._

Whoopee.

Well, I guess…ooh, this vision thing is annoying. Okay, well, the Matron, Obasaan or Kumiko or whatever I'm supposed to call her is going to want proof so…where are those corpses?

With more than a little disgust, I grabbed each rat corpse by the tail and held them in my fist like a perverse bushel. I slowly ascended the steps because I didn't want to fall and endanger the 59 hit points I had left.

I got to the top and opened the door.

"Daisuke, what happened?!"

I wiped my eyes with my forearm and saw the Matron looking down at me in shock and worry. Behind her were Naora and Rikyu who were white as sheets and staring at me. Or the bushel of enlarged rodents. Maybe a little of both.

"Oh, I found out that someone fed the rats in the cellar some Soldier Pills," I explained, hoisting the bushel for them to see. "I went in and wiped 'em out for you."

"I…yes, I can see that!" the Matron was, naturally, very worried for my health. Awww. She does care! "We need to get you to the hospital immediately."

I'm not even going to argue. Trying to convince her of the truthfulness of being okay with just a nights-sleep is a completely futile exercise with my stats. "Good idea, Obaachan."

 _Quest Update: The First Step_

 _Completed: Talk to Matron Kumiko_

 _Sleep at the hospital._

Well, that was straight forward.

Well, Kumiko simply scooped me up in her arms and rushed me with _NINJA SPEED_ to Konoha General. One look at my wounds, and I was admitted straight to the ER where they doped me up on pain killers, which I appreciated.

I didn't say a word. Didn't really have too with my legal guardian taking care of all my stuff. I got my wounds cleaned up pretty quickly and put into a room. When I was put into a bed, I decided that it was time to go to sleep. For about about…five hours.

When I woke up, it was 10:29, so the old sleep function from Fallout still worked.

 _ **Quest Completed: The First Step**_

 _+300 EXP._

NICE.

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 _ **You leveled up!**_

 _Level Achieved: 2_

Down below that was a list of my skills.

For Tsunade's Megaton Punch, I dumped all twenty skill points into Chakra Control. That jutsu was going to be _so incredibly useful_ , plus the idea of getting Rasengan which was good enough to become _Naruto's Signature Technique_ except for the clones. That brought **Chakra Control** up to **62**. Nice.

Next was _Perks_.

On that list was the perks _Intensive Training_ , _Taijutsu Enthusiast_ , _Swift Learner and Wall Crawler_.

Intensive training let me raise any one of my S.P.E.C.I.A.L points by one. This could _easily_ fix my charisma problem, which has been…really _bad_ , but at the same time, I've gotten used to not getting much social attention. It's not like I'm dying for social contact and there are other things that are more pertinent to my early game survival. So, increasing my charisma is on my to-do list, but it falls behind increasing luck.

Taijutsu Enthusiast was an interesting one. It increased my damage and magnitude of special moves by 10%. So my strikes would do more damage and my grapples and suplexs would be more effective at throwing people. Excellent perk.

Swift Learner made it so that I gained 10% more EXP whenever I gained EXP. I always passed by it on the rationalization that there was enough EXP to get to max level even if you _penalized_ me %10 EXP per EXP gain. Now, I might get it to make things faster. Then again, I'm also a year away from the plot, when all the major crap happens so I think I can hold off. For now.

Wall Crawler makes my _Tree-walking Jutsu_ 15% more powerful, which would be exactly what it says on the tin: I am now 15% harder to dislodge from vertical and upside-down surfaces.

Hmmm…I'm torn. I really want to bring Luck to 10 to give me that sweet 10% critical hit chance. That's actually what happened earlier with the target practice, now that I think about it. I hit a critical on the target, causing the kunai to get stuck. A guaranteed attack with extra damage is nothing to sneeze at. Then there's Taijutsu Enthusiast which is _amazing_ for combat. Swift Learner is on probation for now and I don't feel the need to get Wall Crawler at this moment.

Ummmm…well, Luck made me friends with Naruto, as cliché as that is. That's amazing. So I _know_ it works wonders when it wants too. But Taijutsu Enthusiast was _an amazing perk_ , more consistently reliable, too. Hmmm…

Honestly, Luck seems to be pulling double duty in providing amazing benefits and compensating for my biggest weakness. So, yeah. I picked intensive training, then increased my Luck to 10.

The game was paused during level-up, which is darn nice for convenience. As the world faded back into color, I noted that it was, indeed, nighttime. I wasn't hurting anymore and my hit points were at full. My vision wasn't swimming so my head was obviously fixed up. Pretty sure it's because I decided to take a nap, though Ninja doctors are nothing to sneeze at. Maybe it's a mix of both.

Well, questions for later. Right now, I'm going to feel amazing with the knowledge that I just completed my first quest. As well as understand that any attempt to leave early will result in being detained by irate nursing staff. So, back to sleep for me. This time, I'm sleeping until morning.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: This chapter_ was _going to be the end of the tutorial, but then I ended up skipping through the academy in one chapter just because I didn't want to be stuck in the Academy. Not the_ smartest _move that I've ever made, but it's what I wanted to write._

 _As always, I hope you enjoyed. See you tomorrow._

 _~Fulcon_


	4. Four Long Years

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

And I'm awake!

The suns pouring through the blinds, which were drawn for some reason. I quickly stepped out of bed, feeling _amazing_. The bandages were getting itchy, so I quickly undid them, beholding with fascination that they were still stained with blood, there were no wounds beneath them.

Awesome. The IV in my arm was removed because it was unnecessary and I hate IV's. Had enough of them during chemo in my first life. Heh, that was around this age, too. Ah, memories.

I shook my head and climbed out of bed.

Focus.

So, I did some stretches, relaxed my muscles. Oh, wow. I leveled up for the first time yesterday. Last night. Whatever. It felt good. I'm done with the longest tutorial in gaming history. That made me happy. I wonder if I'll encounter a lot more quests while I'm in the academy or if I'll just get EXP by being a good student or something. Most likely a mix of both, so it's not like an academy student is spending all his time killing rats or whatever.

With a final stretch, I sat on the bed, going over what happened in the fight. While I did get the drop on that first rat, the others swiftly taught me that I was a complete noob. First real fight in the world and I almost died.

I'm fine now, obviously, but that's freaky. I don't have saved games. If I played that any worse I'd be back in the afterlife. Worst case would be having to start the game over _from infancy_. _NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT_.

I heard voices outside and it was too late to dive into bed, because one of the Doctors and Matron Kumiko came right in the door. What happened next was pretty predictable. They gaped, eyes popping out of their sockets with their jaws practically hitting the floor.

"Hi, I'm fine now," I said with a small wave. "Is it too late for me to go to the Academy?"

"Y-you're fine?!" Kumiko finally sputtered. "I don't…how?"

The Doctor recovered a little bit quicker. "…young man, do you know if you possess a Kekkei Genkai?"

"Don't you need weird eyes for that?" I asked confusedly.

The Doctor glared. "Young man…"

"No, I don't know if I have a Kekkei Genkai," I quickly explained with a placating gesture. "I just know that when I woke up, I felt fine."

That and I'm a dimensional anomaly that trivializes his concept of power by being able to become the most powerful man alive in _a few in game months_ with enough EXP by virtue of breaking the rules of the setting by adhering to a game system devised for an apocalyptic wasteland.

But telling him that will just get me slapped, so you miss out.

"Hmmmm…I see," The Doctor cupped his chin in thought. "You clearly have some form of Kekkei Genkai related to regeneration. Have you noticed any anomalies as he was growing up?"

"Well…" The Matron thought for a moment. "He's always had a normal sleep schedule, sleeping for eight hours a night and being awake for sixteen. Even when he was an infant."

The Doctor's eyes went wide. "I see. Then I would think that his Kekkei Genkai has something to do with sleep…"

They started talking and I kind of zoned out. I wasn't really worried. I was an orphan and as far as I or anyone knew, I didn't know who my parents were. I never asked, unlike some of the other kids in the orphanage. I wasn't under suspicion of having compromising village secrets like knowing Naruto was a Jinchūriki or that the Fourth Hokage is his Dad.

Spoilers.

I even had plausible deniability: I had no reason to know I had this ability before, as far as they knew. Worst comes to worst, they might ask for a sample of my blood and I'm not sure what they'd find if they analyzed it. I'm a bit curious, but I could say that I want to keep the bloodline to myself and hopefully Kumiko would be on board with me and not with him.

Granted, that could also be seen as Selfish and not in line with the Will of Fire, but not everyone in the village is as devoted to it as the Hokage. Right?

…luck don't fail me now…

"It's the start of a new bloodline and the Hokage should be told at once," The Doctor summarized.

"Uhh…I'm still going to be ninja, right?" I asked a little worried. _Uh oh_.

"There is protocol for starting a new clan," Kumiko said, folding her arms and glaring at the doctor. "Such things don't start when he's only Eight years old."

 _Thank yooooouuuu Obaasan!_

"I…I see," Doctor replied, looking more than a little disappointed. "The Hokage will need to be told, regardless."

"Well of course," Kumiko replied. "And things will need to be planned out in advance, but the first thing he needs to do is become a powerful Shinobi so he can head his clan."

"Ah, I see," The Doctor answered, understanding lighting in his eyes. "Yes, that makes sense. Well, in any case, he should be free to go."

Well, if they're thinking what I think they're thinking, this means being set up with a lot of women to get a clan started. Unfortunantly for them, I AM THE BIGGEST PRUDE IN THE ENTIRE ELEMENTAL NATIONS!

I don't do harems! I don't do Polygamy! Gah, this is frustrating!

Whatever. All that mattered is that I dodged another bullet. So, the Hokage is going to have a really good reason to come see me more often and I _might_ get held back on more dangerous missions until I can prove I'm powerful enough to handle it. "I brought some spare clothes. Now get dressed so we can go home. Unless you feel up to going to school."

"I _really_ want to go to school," I said, letter her go.

"You have admirable dedication," She said with a smile, handing me a new shirt and pants.

Well, after the Matron filled out some paperwork for me, we walked out, sped off to the orphanage, grabbed me a lunch and I was off for the Academy again.

Seriously, where's Naruto? I'll have to go look for him when I get home.

* * *

 _+150 EXP_

1050 EXP until level 3.

No quest for today.

Darn. Well, time to find Naruto. I haven't seen him since yesterday _morning_. I need to make sure he's okay.

So I walk in the door of the orphanage. "Naruto!"

To my relief, I heard footsteps pounding toward me from around the corner and Naruto's there barreling toward me and he _tackles me to the ground in a giant hug._

 _-10 HP._

 _Ow._

"Daisuke, you're okay!" Naruto shouted. Was he crying? He was crying. "I heard you killed a bunch of rats but got mauled and had to go to the hospital!"

"Yup, I'm fine," I replied. "Sorry I worried you. Where were you this morning?"

"I was trying to visit you in the hospital but you were already gone," Naruto said, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

Whoops. I didn't think that happened in real life. Well, the more you know.

"Heh, sorry," I replied and we stood up. We started to walk to the kitchen. "Thanks for trying to visit me, though!"

"So what was it like?" Naruto asked, now looking eager.

"What was what like?"

"The Academy!" Naruto exploded. "Did they really teach you how to kill those rats in one day?"

"Eh, I just picked up some things while sparring with a girl," I said nonchalantly. "Honestly, the rat's fiasco was the most exciting thing to happen last night."

"Really? How can that be more exciting than learning how to be a ninja?" Naruto asked, folding his arms with doubt.

"Because you sit and you listen to people tell you things you're supposed to remember all day at the academy," I explain. "And then you have to spar with the other students and it can just get really monotonous after a while."

"Well maybe for you," Naruto still looked miffed. "You remember everything."

"…okay that's technically true," I allowed.

When we entered the kitchen, there were Rikyu and Naora, standing side by side with the Matron behind them, looking _really_ downcast.

"…hi," I said, waving. I was _not_ prepared when they both got down on their hands and knees. "Ummm…"

"We're _really, really_ sorry, Daisuke-san," They both grovelled at the same time.

"We had no idea the rats were so dangerous," Naora said.

"It was really dumb of us to feed them soldier pills," Rikyu added. "We should've taken care of them ourselves instead of leaving them for someone else to deal with."

"Uh…it's fine, I accept your apology," I said with a shrug. "Now, uh, can you stand up? Please?"

They booth look over their shoulder at the Matron and she gave a slow nod. They stood up.

"So why did you give rats soldier pills, anyway?" I asked them.

"We thought fighting rats would be a good way to train Taijutsu," Naora answered. "We just didn't think they'd be so viscious though."

"I wanted to practice Ninjutsu on them when we learned some," Rikyu added uneasily.

They…wanted to create giant rats to practice against and get better?

How decidedly munchkin of them.

I approve.

"Okay I can't lie, that was a good idea," I said, ignoring the Matron's and the pair's surprised looks. "But next time you get a brilliant idea like that, think it through first? So things don't get out of hand and you put people in danger again?"

"We promise!" The two looked relieved and more than a little happy I wasn't going to ream them.

"Good!" I smiled, glad things were going to look better. Honestly, I hope those two don't lose that spark of madness. It'll go really well for them in the future.

We had dinner and then we talked and then it was time for bed. I turned in, went into my bedroom and... I remembered that I needed to test Tsunade's megaton-punch. So, I opened the window and snuck down the wall.

Tree walking is the best.

So, I didn't want to break something if I got the jutsu correctly, so I looked around the alley and found a large cinderblock. Lifting it was a chore, but I managed to get it at chest height by balancing it on a trash can.

Okay.

So I gather up all the chakra I can into my fist and punch the cinderblock as hard as I can.

Pain shocked my hand and OWOWOWOWOW!

 _Chakra Control Check Failed: 62/70_

 _Taijutsu Check Failed: 32/70_

 _Your arm has been crippled!_

Yeah, thanks game. Thanks a lot. Tears ran down my eyes and my hand started to turn red. I walked back up the wall, climbed in my window, then into bed. For an hour, so I could check my hand. I woke up an hour later and my hand was perfectly fine.

I'm just gonna abuse that.

 _Maliciously_.

* * *

Days at the academy turned into a week and I still haven't seen anyone I would recognize. Specifically, I'm looking for Lee and his green jumpsuit.

Wait, he didn't get that until he entered Gai's team, didn't he? Well, that would explain a lot. Whoops. Oh well, live and learn!

On our way to the final class, we were in lines and we passed another class, which only happened like once before. I think they like to keep things relatively quiet in the halls. But, at the end of the line, was a Hyuuga.

Those eyes of theirs look _freaky_ in real life. I mean _really_. It's like…it just doesn't look right. Like really creepy. Like deep in the uncanny valley, for me (it's the eyes, it's the eyes it's always the eyes).

But anyway, there was this Hyuuga and I'm _reasonably_ certain it was Neji. Had that scowl, his forehead was covered and he didn't look anywhere but forward. Not much to go on and I imagine that all branch family members would cover their…curse seal…

…

… _Urge to kill: RISING!_

No, no, no. It would be pointless. I'm only level 2 and I can always do something about that entire _infuriating_ situation when I'm level 50. Actually, that might take too long for my taste. Let's go for level 30.

But with my Charisma, convincing them to let go of the past would be…oy.

Anyway, we passed him on the way to class. Class was more of the same stuff, though EXP gain was significantly reduced. I didn't get called on as much either, even when I was bouncing in my seat and waving my hand around in desperation. That just pissed off Okawa-sensei, though.

It makes sense, the other students need to contribute in order to make the most of their learning. But it's getting in the way of my leveling. _I only have 50 EXP more to go!_

After school, I didn't go home immediately, rather I made it a point to walk around Konoha. Try to find something. Anything that would give me that additional boost to EXP. I found nothing.

I was sad.

Still, I got home, talked with Naruto, and Rikyu and Naora tried to join in but they seemed to have trouble for some reason. Stupid 1 Charisma.

The next day, I leveled by winning another spar with Hisako. Mizuki partnered us up, I think he saw how we fought the first day, so he put us together. I could tell she was getting better, but not quite there yet.

I made sure to only kick her in the stomach once this time.

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 _ **You have leveled up!**_

 _Level Achieved: 3._

You know, the level feels so much more empty because I earned it doing the most boring and routine of stuff. You know, the constant spars and drills don't actually do anything besides give me EXP but they're turning boring fast; no one wants to train with me later so it's not even a friendship activity later.

"No, I'm okay Daisuke. Thanks, though."

"What and get my butt kicked again? No thanks."

"No way, know-it-all dork."

...are there any perks that would actually justify me trying to build charisma? Because it's turning out to be kind of miserable without being able to make friends with anyone besides the town prankster.

Well, I repeated my choice from last time and wound up with **82** in **Chakra Control**. Which means I get the Rasengan next chance I can practice and get what I believe should be a massive EXP boost. It also lessens the chance of screwing up a jutsu like Naruto would end up doing to the Bunshin, which is a good thing for me.

Speaking of the town prankster, it seems that he's begun to pick up that hobby with a vengeance, which makes me happy because that's part of who he was in Canon and made him a memorable character. It's also the source of some of his _biggest_ game breaking potential if fanfics from before were to be believed.

So yeah, I approve of these turn of events.

"'Scuze me, sorry Daisuke!" Naruto shouted to me as he ran past me one day. "Coming through!"

Chasing him was a pair of men who were joined by their arms having been glued together, swearing obscenities as they tried to step around each other and the various obstacles in their way.

I laughed and ran after him, if only to make sure he was okay.

Later, it became time. It was in my room. I wasn't going to _use_ the Rasengan. I just wanted to make it. And hold it in my hand. And know that I could use it to _destroy everything in my immediate vicinity!_

Feel the power!

So I focus chakra in my hand like before. Start to spin it around in a ball. Then another ball going counter clock-wise. Then another ball like an atom... and then…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 82/80_

 _+500 EXP_

 _Jutsu Gained: Rasengan_

 _Minimum Level: 20_

 _Minimum Ninjutsu: 75_

The glowing ball in my hand was beautiful, shining light in my face as I felt the air around me warp and bend as it pushed against my skin. Then it stopped and I felt the wind kicked out of me.

Oh wow. My chakra's gone. That was only two seconds. Dang. That is a bummer. Level 20 is the minimum level? With that high of a Ninjutsu? I…wow. I'm only level 3. 1000 EXP to get to level 4.

I find it hilarious that I was so excited to start the Academy because I thought that was the end of my boredom. Well, at this point it's more like depression but…dang. No quests. Negligable EXP. I just…ugh. This is pointless.

* * *

Weeks turned to months and months turned to a year. Naruto repeatedly demonstrated the ability to cheer me up, but it never seemed to last. After my first year in the academy, Naruto started going to the academy as well, which was awesome. But that was when the Hokage had given Naruto his apartment building, meaning he moved out of the orphanage and I saw him less.

We still ate lunch together when we could. It didn't always work because either he got in trouble for pulling a prank and had to do some chores over lunch, something I noticed didn't happen to any of the other kids, or my class simply ran a little long and we missed each other entirely.

Eventually, though, I managed to scrape together 1000 points and leveled up to Level 4.

So, another 20 points to spend. I put Chakra control at 100 because mastering that was something that made me happy. Like a lot. I hate wasting anything, so using this to make sure _every point of chakra gets used correctly_ is a high priority for me.

My last 2 points went too speech, bringing it up to 26.

Now the feats.

So, Taijutsu Enthusiast was still there, alongside Swift Learner and Wall Crawler, but it now shared the space with _Educated_ , _Comprehension_ and _Mail Bomber_.

Educated increased the number of skill points I got per level by 3. Comprehension doubled the number of points I get from skill books from 1 to 2. And Mail Bomber increased the radius of explosive tags by 25%. I got that by being level 4 and having at least 25 Fuinjutsu.

Well, Educated needs to be taken right now to maximize its benefits and it's an _awesome_ perk. So there. Now I've got extra specialization power. Or more to spread around, whichever I prefer. Whatever.

* * *

Still no quests. My EXP has completely stopped coming in now, but I'm starting to cope with the _really bad decision_ that was having my Charisma be my dump stat. Pouring myself into the history and lore of the countries, as nationalistically written as it was, was fascinating. The tale of the Sage of the Six paths was fun to read about in a mythological sense, though I'm really hoping that doesn't come into play later.

In the Library, I managed to find some skill books. Six of them in all. Two were for **Ranged Weapons,** bringing it up to **19**. Heh. Two more were for **Taijutsu** which was _amazing_ , bringing it up to **34** and the last two were for **Ninjutsu and Genjutsu** , bringing them both up to **18**.

But they don't cycle them at all, so I'm stuck with the fun but unprofitable training books and I don't have any cash to go buy new ones. Being an orphan sucked. Class still happened.

Sparring during Taijutsu classes was interesting, if only because I got to see my classmates become better the more they fought me. Despite this, I've never been beaten. Though Hisako, a more and more frequent sparring partner, has been clearly been getting better. For once, she turned the tables and kicked me in the stomach. I've never seen her so smug.

I was amused, if not also irritated.

Another class was Genjutsu Class, which was the most _freaking difficult thing_ , started the class in my third year. This one was taught by a new Sensei, Tange Mihoko. She was nice enough, had short black hair and dark eyes. We really didn't interact much. I was good with book answers and disrupting Genjutsu but the trick was realizing I was in one and she…we didn't interact much. I don't think it's really her fault. I think I'm getting better. I think it's mostly a 'you actually need to use your brain for this' rather than 'let my stats do it for me', which…you know, is a good thing. To be expected with my medium perception. I need something like that to keep me on my toes. Still frustrating, though.

For the last class, we learned the founding principles of Jutsu; Hand Seals. Most of the class was spent practicing and channeling in hand signs, as well as handling transitions from one sign to the other. It took me all of two seconds to get the hang of it, so I'd just do more and more complicated hand seal sequences for the sake of alleviating boredom.

But then Okawa-sensei uttered the magic words. "Alright class. Today I'm going to show you a jutsu, and you're going to perform likewise. Please stand behind your desks."

I was ready. I was born ready. I was so ready I was out of my chair before he finished speaking. I must've looked pretty stupid, standing there with this big grin plastered on my face but I did not care.

"The jutsu is the Bunshin. It creates an illusionary clone. Here are the seals," Ram. Snake. Tiger. Easy. "Start!"

I flipped through the seals really fast.

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 18/10._

 _+25 EXP._

 _Cha-ching!_ I _sang_ in my head alongside the ringing in my ear.

Next to me, faded in without smoke was my illusionary double. It was like looking through a camera placed behind me. Though I was able to manipulate the clone, who turned to me and I saw what I looked like.

It was odd, looking at me separate from a mirror. I thought my face would be a bit more vibrant than that. It almost like I'm looking at a statue or something and not because it was an illusion. Even when it struck an expression it didn't look right.

Huh.

It might be my inexperience with the technique or my low score of Ninjutsu making the fake seem obvious…but I had a suspicion that this was a fairly accurate representation of me.

…stupid 1 charisma.

I looked around the class, the smoke from everyone else's Bunshin's quickly fading and some had succeeded at the Bunshin on the first try, others had theirs on the floor, looking like a dead fish after it had flopped around the poop deck a few times.

"Again!"

Alright.

Eventually, everyone got it but that was when class was let out for the day. I could've sworn I was going to skip home at the start there. Now it's just a cheerful walk. Alright, next will either be the Kawarimi or the Henge.

I could have fun with the Henge.

Maybe give myself a temporary charisma boost.

That would be cool.

* * *

The time did come. We were taught the substitution jutsu first and…well, it does work. I'm usually some distance away from where I started and there is usually a block of wood where I used to be but I have no idea how it works. The jutsu confused me _before_ I got here and I guess it will continue to confuse me after.

I'm guessing in order to understand it, you need a higher perception and less intelligence. Whatever, it works and it's probably abuseable on some level. Or maybe not. I don't understand it.

I wonder if I can tweak it to substitute with a pocket of air?

Instant teleportation.

Then, finally, the Henge.

Oh, the Henge.

Please, let this be an equivalent to Grapetats or a Nice Suit or something that would otherwise increase my Charisma. Please, please please…

Dog. Boar. Ram.

 _Cha-ching!_

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 18/10._

 _+25 EXP._

Combined with the EXP from the Substitution, that leaves me with 1675 more EXP until level 5. Yay.

I turned into the Hokage, as instructed. The drain on my chakra was negligible. It was _regenerating_ from the initial expenditure, but much more slowly than I was used too. Okay, I think I can keep that up during school and stuff. Not during Taijutsu practice, unless I got Tsunade's version.

Hmmm…will have to try another version of me that's less…statue like. See what I get.

Just noticed I'm emulating Tsunade a lot, with some mix of Naruto. Not a bad thing, but something to keep an eye on. If I become too similar, someone whose experienced fighting one or the other might just smack me around with my inferior stats.

Anyway.

When class ended, I headed home. I didn't run into Naruto on the way out but…okay. I gotta go test it out.

I made it to my room, did a Henge that looked how I thought I should look and checked my Black book.

 **S.P.E.C.I.A.L**

 **Strength: 5**

 **Perception: 5**

 **Endurance: 5**

 **Charisma: 4(+3)**

 **Int** -it did it.

It won't fool a Hyuuga or anyone with enough know-how to know I've got it up, but hopefully, this will make it easier to talk to people at least. Okay. I'm actually excited, now. _SOCIAL ACTIVITY!_

…I'm excited about the possibility of getting noticed and talk too by a student body of 8 to 9-year-old kids. My life has gotten weird. And possibly pathetic.

* * *

 _Quest Received: Entering the Workforce_

 _Take the Graduation Exams._

Oh. Heck. _Yes_.

Oh, I was out of bed and at the Academy in record time. The Henge helped somewhat with being social and it was better, but I was still ready to get out there and do a crap ton of quests to gain a crap ton of experience to gain a crap ton of levels.

I was in my seat. First was the Taijutsu exam.

We were all gathered in the training room, with Mizuki standing on the center matt, where he had demonstrated _lots_ of moves to all of us over the years. We've all been his training dummy. We all want a piece of him, a little bit.

"Alright!" Mizuki called out. "It's time for your Graduation exams! I'll call out to you alphabetically. To pass this test, you must land a confirmed hit on me before the timer dings."

Sounds easy enough. Provided his skill isn't much higher than mine, I should be able to hit him fairly quickly. Written exam and jutsu tests should be a breeze. The only thing I'm really worried about is throwing Kunai. My accuracy is nowhere near 100% with those things and I need to hit 3 out of 5 of them. The percentage of my hits isn't good enough to be reliable.

But Luck hasn't failed me yet!

"Shimoda Daisuke," Mizuki called.

Show time!

I stepped up to the matt.

"Take your stance," He said. When I complied, he continued. "Begin!"

I jumped forward and threw the first punch, which he dodged, hopping lightly to the right. He threw a punch at my side, which was parried while I threw another punch at his face. He ducked underneath and threw a kick.

I hopped to the side and tried to hit his arm. He moved aside and tried a punch of his ow- oh screw this! I wrapped his arm in the crook of my shoulder and used the surprise to punch him in the face.

The bell rang.

"Alright Shimoda," Mizuki said, rubbing the side I hit him at. "You passed Taijutsu."

 _Cha-ching!_

 _+250 EXP._

Now we're talking! Putting my henge back up, I joined the rest of the class.

"Nice job," That was _Hisako_ of all people.

"Thanks," I replied with a smile.

"I was mostly talking about how you didn't beat him with a kick to the stomach," She smirked.

Oh haha. "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Hey, the first time we fought, I had a bruise in the shape of a sandal-print for a week," She replied with a risen eyebrow. "I didn't know anyone could kick that hard."

…wow.

Critical hits. They are real.

"Neither did I," Was my reply.

Eventually, Mizuki was finished. The failures were sent off home to come back after the break, if at all. Then we went to the range. In order to pass, we had to hit the target three times and one of them had to be the bullseye. The signal was given and one by one, kunai were thrown. The all clear was sounded, the kunai were recollected, and some were sent home. This process was repeated.

When my turn came around, I picked up the Kunai, and started throwing.

Complete miss, going over the target.

Miss again, going too low.

…oh no.

Okay. Calm down. It's going to be okay. We've hit three shots before. It can be done. Just calm down and relax.

I threw one and hit the target on the outer ring. I threw another and hit the outer ring again. I was sweating bullets now. If I failed, this was going to suck. So…

LEROOOOOOOOOOY! JENKINS!

I threw my final kunai and it went through the target and into the pole once again.

 _Cha-ching!_

 _+125 EXP._

I almost laughed in relief, but I held my cool. Whew. Okay. That was scary. When the all clear was sounded, I marched forward and scooped up the ones on the floor, then pulled the two on the target. Then I tried to pull the Kunai out.

 _Strength Check Failed_ : 5/7.

"Mizuki-sensei!"

He appeared way too fast.

"Again?"

"Yes, sensei," I nervously smiled.

"Well, if there is one thing I have to say about your throwing skills," Mizuki said, digging into the target and gripping it with both hands. It came out, this time without any bark but otherwise how you'd expect a Kunai thrown really hard into a steel pole would look. "It's that I don't want to be the guy that gets hit with one of these."

"Thank you Sensei," I said, bowing in respect. I hope he's not a traitor right now. He's not as bad as I thought he would be. But then, I'm not Naruto.

So we were directed into the classroom again, where we found a written test and Okawa-sensei watching us as we entered. I took my normal spot, by the window up in the corner. "Alright, in front of you is the written exam, plus some scratch paper. It's twenty questions and in order to pass, you must answer fifteen of them correctly. You have thirty minutes."

Alright, that works.

"Aaaand…start."

I turned my paper over.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/5_

I passed the test within ten minutes. It was hilariously easy. The most difficult required an Intelligence of 7. I double checked each answer, made sure my name was signed in the corner and everything. Yes.

 _Cha-ching!_

 _+250 EXP._

I wonder if the obscene EXP gain is the games way of apologizing for the disgustingly long time between quests. It would be appropriate. I only need…what? Check the book here…1050 more EXP to reach level 5.

Geeze.

So, once thirty minutes had passed and we handed our tests in. We were asked to assemble in a line and wait for our turn to take the final test. The one where we demonstrated our jutsu…you know, the one where Naruto kept screwing up and had to steal a scroll…which gives him his best technique and lets him become the Hokage that ushers in world peace. Because he can do that.

Anyway.

So, eventually my turn came around. There was Okawa-Sensei and Mizuki-Sensei and Tange-Sensei, sitting at a table at the end of the room.

"Hello again, Shimoda," Okawa-sensei nodded to me. "Are you ready to begin?"

I nodded confidently. "I can do all three."

"Someone's confidant," Mizuki smirked.

"Performing all three will be unnecessary," Okawa-sensei said. "We only need two, them being the Bunshin and the Henge."

Huh…why those two? I rose my hand.

"You had a question?" Tange asked with amusement.

"Yeah, uh…why those two in particular?" I asked. "If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"Because the substitution takes you some distance away, and we'd like to save time for both of us," Okawa-Sensei replied. "We do that for every student and the Jounin's are aware that students may need tutoring in the Kawarimi after the academy. Now, are you ready to begin?"

"Yes Sensei," I nodded. "Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Two clones rapidly sprung to life beside me with no chakra cloud.

"Henge No Jutsu!" And I turned into the Hokage.

"Excellent work," Okawa praised. "Your chakra control is exquisite."

 _You have no idea_.

"The Bunshin's looked good," Mizuki nodded.

"The Hokage disguise was believable," Tange-Sensei nodded. "But I did have one question."

"Hm?"

"Why have you started wearing a Henge of yourself?"

I blinked. "Because I look like an unapproachable statue without it."

"I see," She said. "I hope you'll get to the point where you won't need it."

"Thank you Sensei," I said, bowing.

"So, congratulations are in order," Okawa said. "You have graduated the academy and can now be considered Genin."

 _Cha-ching!_

 _+250 EXP._

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Sensei's."

"We have forehead protectors, unless you'd prefer an armband or a belt," Tange-said, causing three boxes to appear. I walked forward and saw each of them.

…I've never worn hats or arm bands. But I have worn belts. I like belts. So with that in mind, "Which box has the belts?"

"This one," Tange-sensei smiled. I noticed this one was a little fuller than the box of headbands, but that was the go too style. I grabbed one with a black band and used chakra to manipulate it and tie it around my waist.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/35._

"Thank you again, Sensei's," I said, bowing once more.

"You did good," Mizuki replied.

"Meet here tomorrow at 0800 for your team assignment," Okawa-sensei said. "Dismissed.

"Hai," I took my cue to leave.

As I left the room, I felt happy.

I felt proud. Very proud. In spite of my emotional baggage, which was hard to sort through even with daily meditations, in spite of the difficulty I had…I made it. I'm a Genin.

 _Quest Complete: Entering the Workforce!_

 _+1000 EXP!_

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 _ **You have leveled up!**_

 _Oh yes_.

So, my Charisma problem has been temporarily taken care of, so I'm okay. For now. The Megaton Punch, which will end up being my main damage dealer this early in the game, needs a Taijutsu score of 70, so I put all **23** points into it, bringing **Taijutsu** up to **57.**

The walk home was slow, even as around me, parents were congratulating their kids on becoming a Shinobi, that they got through it.

I wondered what my parents would've thought if they knew I had become a child soldier.

I snorted in amusement

They would've been mortified.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: So, I we're level 5, which I felt was a nice, happy medium between level 10, which was basically a Chunin and level 2, which was a Genin after a month's worth of training. This, thankfully, is the end of the Academy and the start of fresher waters with a solidified team dynamic and actual quests._

 _So, the only skills he's put points into, so far, are Speech, Taijutsu and Chakra Control, with skill books having worked some magic to help get up. I have a character sheet which I keep updated, though I'm not sure I need to post it. If you want me too, I will do so._

 _I'd also say I've done a good job of keeping meaningless numbers out of your reading experience! As usual, your feedback and comments are greatly appreciated._


	5. New Team, New Members, Familiar Sensei

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

6:30 in the morning and I was still awake.

See, in the games, you could be awake for as long as you wanted with no ill consequences. If my theory was correct, then that was the case here too. I stayed up all night doing…well, actually I was writing.

Fallout fanfiction, specifically. In English. It seemed appropriate. Soon as 7:30 rolled around, I used a candle to burn it up. About the Sole Survivor and Courier Six meeting and establishing a relationship between the Commonwealth and the Mojave, something I wish I could've seen for real.

Before I died, that is.

Anyway, I was still fine, So I was right. You know, if training of any kind actually worked for me, I'd be even more stupidly powerful than I already was. Because I'd have all the time in the world to work on my skills.

So, I got dressed, slid my belt on and hopped on over to the Academy.

 _Quest Added: Shinobi, Assemble!_

 _Meet your team and Jounin Sensei._

 _Nice_. I better get EXP for that.

It occurred to me that I didn't know where Naruto's apartment was. I'll have to ask him next time I see him at lunch…wait. I think we're let out early once we meet our Jounin-sensei. So I might not see him at lunch.

There's probably a registry or something I can check. Tell him the good news.

…wait, was he swinging on that swing set after the exams?

And I missed him?

Ooh, I feel really bad now. I need to find him as soon as possible, see if he's okay.

…what if he graduated already? That would be interesting. I mean, I don't think I had enough of an impact for him to do that and he never tells me about how he's doing in class for me to help him but it's a possibility. I mean, I know he took the exam three times before finally passing in Canon so...huh.

I guess we've grown farther apart than I thought.

I need to fix that.

Anyway, I'm at the Academy. Something I learned is that it's always a good to be at least a little early to every gathering. About five minutes. Sends a good message and makes sure you're never late. The gates open since Shinobi are reporting in at all hours to the administrative building, so I head into the building, make it to the class room.

Inside, there's students already sitting in desks, but not everyone's here yet. So, I took my spot in the corner and waited for things to happen. I watched the students file in and…wow, less people from my class graduated than I thought. Huh.

Hisako arrived, talking with another girl who I didn't recognize. Alright. After that, a girl I identified as Tenten, being the only girl I've ever seen with the Chun-li buns in _either_ of my lives, walked in the door. Okay, she does exist. Then Neji, who sat at the front with a stoic look on his face. Then…oh _that's_ right! _That's_ what Lee looked like, before he got Gai-sensei'd. Okay. He had

Right at seven, the doors to the teacher's office open, revealing a new guy. I'm guessing he's the photographer. Oh, right. We needed a card to prove we were Shinobi. I wonder what happens if that card gets stolen.

I hope I never have to find out. It'd be about as bad as getting pulled over without your driver's license, only worse because the cop could shoot you on the spot. I shall _never_ lose my card.

"Alright, Genin!" The Photographer called out. "I need everyone to line up and we'll take your picture for your ID. After that, there'll be some papers for you to sign and if we get it done fast enough, you'll be done before the Jounin arrive."

I wonder why they didn't do this yesterday. Must've been running late. Or the camera broke. Do they use those old flash cameras? That might be why. Anyway, we got into a line, and had our picture taken. Mine went without incident, I received my card and reviewed the paperwork that I signed to make me a full-fledged member of the military.

…well, in my old life I didn't think I was cut out for the military and never joined. This is an interesting reversal. With my card in my book, because it can hold things and I never lose my book, I walked out and…wait, does my book actually hold things?

I opened the book and…yup, there it was. Whew. I don't know where my book went, but it went somewhere. Hammerspace! Wish it paused the game so I could go 'Stop! Hammertime!' when I whipped it out.

So, I sat in my usual chair and waited. Eventually, 8 o'clock rolled around and Okawa-sensei. He was wearing a rare smile on his face and held a clipboard close to his check. I noted the door to the hall was open. "Good morning, Genin."

"Good morning, Sensei!" We chorused back to him.

"Without further ado, I will announce the teams and your senseis," Okawa-sensei said, clearing his throat.

"Team 1 will…" And he started. Trio's were called, either to their cheers or their disappointment. It varied.

We were all shocked, however, when Okawa was announcing the team number, a giant cloud of smoke suddenly appeared next to sensei's desk. The smoke faded slowly, and there, standing on a turtle, was _Maito Gai!_

Wait, what was the team number?

 _Perception Check Failed: 5/9_.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

` Well, looks like his team number will be a mystery for the ages.

"I'm ready to stoke your fires of _youth!_ " Gai said loudly, striking his nice guy po- _geeze man, do you have a laser built into your teeth? Dang!_

"…Tenten, Rock Lee and Hyuuga Neji," Okawa finished, utterly deadpan.

Oh, the looks on their faces were priceless. Especially Neji, who displayed emotion for the first time since I saw him. Even if that emotion was disgust.

You know, I don't think I'd mind Gai as a mentor. Lots of laughs, knows a lot about Taijutsu which is sure to involve a lot of perks and special moves. Wouldn't mind at all. Unless he tried to get me to wear spandex, then that would be another story.

They filed out, and I caught Tenten's 'please kill me now' expression on the way out. Haha, priceless. Of course…well, I might not get someone completely terrible. Or bad for me. 10 luck is great for that, since, you know, I can't really be unlucky.

"Team 10 will be…" Oh, they're team Nine. Makes sense, I suppose.

"Team 13, Shimoda Daisuke, Yamada Hisako, and Nakamura Nichiren," Well darn! I suppose I should've seen this coming, but who's Nichiren? "Their sensei will be Hatake Kakashi."

What.

…

 _ **WHAT?! THE?! $%# ?!**_

YOU HAVE FAILED ME, LUCK STAT! YOU HAVE FAILED ME SO HORRIBLY I SHALL CUT YOU FROM THE STATS SCREEN!

I buried my face in my hands and let out a soft whimper. Hatake Kakashi. The guy so focused on teamwork just got assigned a Genin with no charisma or anything to make teamwork actually work. This…screw this. I-I…gah!

"He's late again," Okawa, either not noticing my display or not caring, said blandly. "You three have my sympathy. Sorry about your day being wasted."

Hisako scoffed in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Yes, unfortunately," Okawa said. "Team 14 will be…"

And two calls later and it was just me, Hisako and who I guess is Nichiren. He was hunched over and was wearing glasses. He had brown hair and was drumming his fingers on his desk.

"Try to have a good day," Okawa said, sighing in disgust. "And good luck."

"What did he mean by that?" Nichiren's asked as Okawa closed the door.

"Probably a test of some kind," I said, trying to keep the bile I was feeling from seeping into my speech. Not sure I was successful.

"Oh no," Hisako groaned, tilting her hair back. "I thought I was done with the tests."

"Hey maybe it won't be too bad," Nichiren said weakly. "We could pass it with flying colors."

"Maybe but still," She said, folding her arms and resting her head on her desk. "I just wanna go out and do things."

"Passing the test is doing something."

…Optimism, thy name is Nichiren. Or maybe denial. Alright, well.

I stood up and moved down to the front row, where he was sitting. I gestured to the seat next to him. "May I sit here?"

"Oh, sure!" He seemed surprised by the question. He said as I sat down, "Didn't think such an amazing Genin like you'd want to sit by me."

"Now why in the Elemental Countries would you think that?" I asked with a frown.

"Well, everyone used to talk about how you were going to be Rookie of the Year," Nichiren explained. "I was always just average."

"I've never had anyone say something to me like that," I replied, blinking in confusion. Well, the Henge made it so people would _talk_ to me at least, hanging out with me wasn't something they were willing to do still. Which was still better than nothing, but not as much as I was hoping.

"Well yeah," Hisako said, coming over and taking the seat opposite of Nichiren. "You knew basically everything and good at almost everything."

"Then why wasn't I rookie of the year?" I asked, though I had a suspicion…

"Your aim sucked," Hisako stated.

"That would do it," I said to myself, leaning back. "Never thought I was that good. People tended to avoid me."

"Well…your kind of scary," Nichiren said with an uneasy smile, as if afraid I might punch him.

"You know I'm not going to bite, right?" I said flatly. Scary, huh? Well, that's one way of looking at it. I exhaled in annoyance. Nothing to do about it now. "So, where do you guys want your careers to go?"

"I want to join the Anbu," Hisako replied, bracing her head on her fist. "They do some really cool stuff. Only the best of the best get in."

"Nice," I nodded.

"I-I uh, well, I want to be a Medic Nin," Nichiren said, exhaling. "Those guys are so brave, helping hurt shinobi right on the battlefield."

I can respect that. He's got a while to go, but saving lives is cool with me. "I wish you luck."

"Thank you," Nichiren seemed to calm down just a tad.

Hmmm…you know in Oblivion, using the Wait command would send you forward hours at a time and bring you out of it the moment something important happened.

"So, can I ask you guys a favor?" I turned to them.

They both perked up.

"Like what?" Hisako asked curiously.

"I'm going to start meditating," I lied. "If I don't snap out of it when he gets here, I want you to snap me out of it. Pushing me over is an option. Okay?"

 _Speech Check Success: 26/15_.

 _+15 EXP._

Neato. 2,135 more EXP to go.

"O-okay," Nichiren said uncertainly. "I can do that."

Poor guys got serious confidence issues.

Commencing Wait.

* * *

I was snapped out of my trance when the door opened and therein entered Hatake Kakashi. The Copy Ninja. An S Ranked former ANBU captain. A traumatized, tortured soul. The absolute worst choice I could've possibly had for a sensei.

I swear, I'm forcing a game over if I don't get past the Bell Test. And- _suddenly I'm pushed and falling out of my chair sonofa-!_

As I lay there on the floor, I only had one thought.

Huh. He actually pushed me over.

While I was picking myself up, I was also cracking up, really badly. I just, it was really funny and I was so stressed and it just…hehehehe!

When I finally stopped chuckling, I looked and saw Kakashi was starting at me with an odd look in his eye.

"My first opinion?" The mask isn't muffling his voice. I call Chakra Shenanigans. "You're idiots."

"And you're late," I cheekily reminded him, still in a good mood.

"Well, if you're going to be like that," Kakashi started, turning around. "Maybe I should just go and let you get back to the academy."

"No!"

"Stop!"

"I didn't mean it!"

The three of us shouted at the same time, holding out hands out in a desperate attempt to get him to stop. He stopped.

"Oh?" He said, slowly turning around to face us. "Well then, maybe I should give you another chance."

"Let's meet on the roof," He said with an eye-smile. "Have a little get together."

Huh. That's odd, I thought he'd do something stupid like jump out the window just to freak us out. Well, whatever. Let's get this meet and greet over. When we arrived at the roof, he leaned up against the railing, folding his arms and watching us as we took seats on the air-conditioning units.

Look at him trying to be all cool with his near-total mask and laid back posture and flak jacket and-okay fine, I already established the flak jacket is cool. And Kakashi is cool. Just…ugh. I've got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"So, why don't we introduce ourselves," Kakashi said to us.

I wasn't about to go first. Maybe one of the others could? Sorry. Even with my charisma mostly around average thanks to the Henge, I'm still a little skittish of it.

"I'm Yamada Hisako," My teammate offered.

There was a silence. Hisako looked at the two of us.

"…and?" Kakashi motioned for her to continue.

"I like sharpening my kunai and I don't like being told someone's unbeatable?" Hisako offered.

...that can't be everything.

 _Perception Check Failed: 5/7_

So does that mean there's something there or I have trouble accepting the simplest solution?

 _Perception Check Failed: 5/7_

Oh, screw off game.

"Do you have any hopes for the future?" Kakashi asked, sounding bored.

"I want to join ANBU," Hisako replied, folding her arms. "They're the best of the best. And I want to be the best."

"Alright," Kakashi said with no hint of approval or disapproval. He pointed at Nichiren "How about you?"

"Hi. My name is Nakamura Nichiren," Nichiren introduced himself, looking like he'd prefer to hide in the infinite void then tell us about himself. "I like reading and delicious food. I don't like snakes. I want to be a…a f-field medic."

"Alright," Kakashi gave a shrug. He looked at me, "Now how about you?"

"Shimoda Daisuke," I reported, mimicking his arm fold. "I like a lot of things. I don't like being stagnant. I want to go down in history as the Shinobi with the most missions ever done."

"Huh. Okay then," Kakashi stood up straight. "So, since we're a new team, there's a little task the four of us need to do."

"What kind of task?" Nichiren asked quickly.

He just giggled sinisterly. I would've gotten the chills if I didn't know what was coming. As it stood, I almost got the chills anyway.

"I'd tell you," He said full of mirth. "But you won't like it."

I get it, this song and dance is to get us to freak out. Whatever, just get on it.

"The suspense is killing me," I replied drolly.

He glared at me and I decided now was a good time to shut up.

… _please don't actually kill me_.

"So the four of us just need to do some survival training," Kakashi went on as if I hadn't just interrupted him. "It's a test to see if you're really going to be Genin."

"…what?" Nichiren asked quietly.

"We're already Genin!" Hisako stated hotly.

"What? Oh, no you're not," Kakashi explained, with a tone that suggested he was talking to a child who just said something amusingly idiotic.

"Yes we are!" Hisako snapped.

"No. You're not," Kakashi stated a bit more firmly. "The exam was to bring out candidates that may or may not be Genin. The test is to see if you're actually capable of _being_ Genin."

Which we are. Well, I am. I might actually be able to carry these two through the bell test, though I'm not sure.

"If you fail the test, you'll be sent back to the academy," At this, my fear was overcome by _UNYIELDING RAGE_ for just a second, and I just glared at him. Think maybe I should try killing intent? Nah, I don't want to get counter-intented. "Of the 27 Students that you saw there in the room downstairs? Only nine of them will go on to actually become Genin. This test has a failure rate of 66%."

If I didn't know what it was already? I'd be scared. As it was, I was mad. And bored. The other two were starting to look nervous. Nichiren…how, exactly did he pass into being a Genin? He looks about as stout-hearted as a skittish bunny.

"So meet me tomorrow at training ground 3 at 5am sharp," Kakashi ordered. "And don't eat breakfast. You'll throw up."

With that, Kakashi disappeared.

Well. I wonder if eating follows the same rules as my sleeping? He did _technically_ just order me to forgo breakfast and I know what the test is. So…time to experiment? Except I remember being really hungry when I was younger…hmmmm…maybe it was just for the tutorial? Maybe I shouldn't risk it? Or maybe I should.

"So, I'm going to go home and do…whatever," I told my teammates. "See you tomorrow!"

"How are you so calm about this?" Hisako demanded.

"Yeah, didn't you hear him?" Nichiren asked incredulously. "Most of the students who take this test fail!"

"I did hear that," I nodded. "But that doesn't mean it's impossible, does it?"

 _Charisma Check Failed 4/5._

Screw off, game.

"Well I dunno," Nichiren said.

"Look, Daisuke's right," Hisako replied. "The test can be beat. Don't worry about it. Let's just get there tomorrow and prove we're Genin."

"Okay," Nichiren replied, sounding a little bit better.

We each went our separate ways and…

 _Quest Updated: Shinobi, Assemble!_

 _Completed: Meet your Team and Jounin Sensei._

 _Go to training ground 3 before Kakashi gets there._

I like how it's giving me the option to be late because I know Kakashi is going to be late. That's cool. But I'll show up on time anyway to show…solidarity to my team. I want to be a team player. Because I _don't have any desire to go back to the academy whatsoever_. _Nooooo no._

So I head off to the Orphanage. I don't see Naruto on the way there. Oh, man. Where is he? I haven't seen him in forever! Maybe he's sulking.

Whatever.

Another thing I wanted to test was…how long can I sleep, exactly? That's what I want to know. Because in Fallout you could wait and or sleep for up to twenty-four hours. It was…ah, crap. It was only noon. Well, better say hi to Matron Kumiko before I konked out for the day/night cycle.

I walked around and…. "Hey, Obaasan!"

"Hello Daisuke," She looked up from her place over the pot of stew she was mixing.

"Can I help?" I asked.

"No, I can take care of it," She told me. "How was your first day of being a Genin?"

"It was okay," I shrugged. "Our Sensei was four hours late and told us we have to take a test. If we fail, we could get sent back to the Academy."

"Ha!" She let out a barking laugh. "Oh, I have no doubt you'll impress your sensei. You needn't worry."

"I'm not worried," I told her. "I'm pretty sure I can figure it out, it's just frustrating."

"Well, I can certainly see that," She smiled. "But testing ourselves is how we grow, right?"

…she's right. Dang. She doesn't even know about EXP and she's right. I've got the wrong attitude toward this test. It's just another quest. One I know how to beat, for that matter. "I know, Obaasan."

"Then why are you frustrated?" She asked me kindly.

"Because I thought I was done jumping through hoops," I groused. "But you're right. It's just…another test. Well, I'm off to bed."

"Bed?" She balked. "It's only noon?"

"Well, you know that bloodline I supposedly have?" She nodded. "With it, I can pretty much fall asleep on command, no matter how much I'm running on, so I want to see if I can sleep all the way until tomorrow morning."

"I…alright," She rose a spoon in my face. "If it works, just be quiet and try not to wake anyone up. Now taste, how is it?"

"Delicious!"

"Good," She smiled. "Have a bowl before you sleep."

"Yes Obaasan," Well, who was I to refuse?

After eating a pair of bowls of soup, I was ready for bed. Okay…so, it's almost 1? So…15 hours will get me to 4am, which gives me enough time to get ready. Alright. Here we go!

* * *

4am. Son of a gun, that's useful.

I quietly got dressed and gathered some supplies. Kunai, Shuriken, a couple of explosive tags the Matron was kind enough to give me, that sort of thing. No food. I wanted to see how that worked out for me.

I jumped out my bedroom window, tree-walking down the wall with casual ease. As I headed to the training ground three, I went over what I knew in my head.

Hatake Kakashi is a Jounin, former ANBU captain and has been taking teams for years, only to fail them when they failed to put their teammates lives over the Mission, something that _might_ contradict the whole 'Will-of-Fire-Support-The-Village-At-All-Cost' the rest of the Village has going on.

He knows _a lot_ of Jutsu and is a Ninjutsu specialist. He was able to copy those jutsu with the Shari-err...Cheatigan.

Yes, it's the Cheatigan, because having that much power in a pair of eyeballs is completely stupid. Well, okay, living a new life while subjected to rules from a video game that allows me to master a skill in as short as a day when it normally takes a life-time is also cheating, but _AT LEAST I ADMIT IT_!

I haven't even _seen_ Sasuke at the Academy. I guess our class schedules were simply that well planned. Okay, I technically wasn't even looking for him, and I may have failed a few perception checks but still!

Anyway; Kakashi.

So…he knows a lot of Ninjutsu and isn't likely to take me seriously. Or maybe he will, if I act weird or something. I don't think the whole episode with the rats, as awesome as it was, will net me a whole lot of cred with this guy. Maybe I can use it to my advantage.

But I got to remember to put a team-work spin on anything I do. So while I'm slugging it out with Kakashi (which is rather generous, if I were honest with myself), maybe I could have my teammates grab the bells while I keep him distracted. Then I could bluff and say it was okay that I go to the academy and if there's any sense of justice in the world, they'll both offer me their bells and prove we've got the teamwork chops to be taught by a _very_ lazy sensei.

Who may also have the largest collection on Ninjutsu in Konoha.

Okay, maybe this won't be so bad.

Canon's still _nuked beyond recognition,_ though. I wonder what the repercussions will be from this? Will we take the Chunin Exams, become Chunin and leave Naruto with a more experienced teacher? One who might actually _teach his senseis kid like I heard he wanted to_ rather than offload him to spend all his time on Sasuke?

What if we fail and Kakashi never becomes Naruto's sensei because he's stuck with us for another year?

That…could be a possibility.

It might even be a good possibility.

Depending on who he gets stuck with.

I arrived at the training ground in 15 minutes, meaning I was there 30 minutes early.

Well, I could have planned that out better. Whatever. That's what the wait command is for.

So less than an hour later, Hisako shows up, wearing her backpack and her hair tied in a ponytail. Followed by a very hasty and really tired looking Nichiren.

Seriously, how _did_ this guy past the Academy?

"Yo," I said, waving at them.

"Hey Daisuke," Hisako nodded.

"How long have you been waiting here?" Nichiren asked.

"About thirty minutes," I replied with a thoughtful frown. "I could've planned that out better."

Hisako scoffed. "Seriously?"

"I like being early," I said.

"But…thirty minutes," Nichiren said.

"Yup," I nodded. "By the way, have either of you had breakfast?"

"Sensei told us not to," Hisako replied. "He said the training would make us throw up."

"Yeah," Nichiren said. "Besides I woke up late and didn't have enough time to eat anything."

"Personally," I looked at them both. "I don't think we would've thrown up. I think he just wanted us hungry for the training. It is survival training after all."

They both looked at me with horrified expressions on their faces as they realized that I had a point. Then they started to grumble about how unfair their Sensei was being.

Hisako got out a Kunai and whetstone and started to sharpen it. "Looks like we're going to be here for a while."

Nichiren got out a book and started to read.

"Looks like it," I said. "So. Nichiren, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," He said, looking up from his book.

Oh, how do I ask this without causing a rift in the team dynamic. "So, you're the most nervous Shinobi I've ever met."

"…okay," He asked.

"Do you mind if I ask why?" I finished lamely.

Charisma Check Failed: 4/6

 _Shut up, game._

"Well, I'm just nervous in general," He said with a nervous grin.

"Then how'd you pass psychological evaluation?" Hisako asked without looking up from her kunai. "There's no way they'd let someone with nerves like yours become a Genin."

...wow. Tactless, thy name is Hisako.

"I…uh…" Nichiren's eyes got big and his hands started shaking. "I…I just did, okay."

Okay, now I'm thinking less 'nervous in general' and more 'hiding something'.

"You just _did_?" Hisako rose an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Yup, just did," Nichiren smiled.

"I don't believe you," She snapped.

"But…I…did," Nichiren said.

"No one's doubting that you did," I spoke up. "We're just more dubious about your methods."

"Well, I did," Nichiren snapped, angry for the first time since I saw him.

"…whatever," Hisako sighed and went back to her kunai.

I shrugged.

The hours passed quietly with no one saying anything else. I was tempted to use the wait function again, but again, I wanted to spend as much actual time with my team as possible. The sun was high in the sky when, at _11:00 he finally showed up_.

"Good morning, team!" Kakashi said, with an eye smile and a wave.

"You're late!" Both my teammates stood up and screeched.

You know, I was still fine from the lack of food. This is odd. I implicitly remember being insanely hungry back in infancy. Maybe now that the tutorial's over I don't need food like the others do?

"Sorry, the road got broken up and I had to find another route," He said with an eye smile.

I simply shrugged and stood up. "Well, we're all here. So what's the mission?"

"It's just a test," Kakashi said mirthfully. He pulled out a pair of bells and an alarm clock. "This alarm is set for noon. You must each take a bell from me in order to pass. If you don't take a bell before noon, you'll be tied up to one of those posts- "He pointed to a set of three wooden posts. "-and I'll eat lunch in front of you."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. But I'm a ninja so I'm supposed to lie. I'm not worried. Not in the slightest.

"Wait, there's only two bells," Nichiren pointed out.

"Yes there are," I could just feel the smile that was affixed to his face. "That ensures that at least one of you will fail and be sent to the academy."

"Why do I get the feeling that the test has a 66% fail rate because you've rigged the test," I began, leveling a gaze at him. "Rather than because the Genin aren't good enough?"

"Oh I wouldn't put it like _that_ ," Kakashi said, putting the bells on his waist. "I'd put it like I'm giving them the right level of incentive to do well. Oh, and by the way?"

He became somewhat serious. "The only way any of you are going to succeed is if you come at me with the intent to kill me."

Nichiren gulped. Hisako switched her kunai to reverse grip. I simply rolled my shoulders.

 _I'm going to make you eat those words, Kakashi_.

"We'll go when I say start," Kakashi returned to his easy going tone. "Ready…"

I popped my knuckles. Nichiren bounced on his toes. Hisako simply glared him him.

"Set…"

 _If I get sent back to the academy, I want to at least know that gave you a difficult fight. The odds of that are slim with my stats and such, but still!_

"Start!"

 _Quest Updated: Shinobi, Assemble!_

 _Completed: Go to training ground 3 before Kakashi gets there._

 _Pass the Bell Test._

Nichiren ran away _fast_. So did Hisako, though I think she's planning an attack and…ah, no. Well, this is going to be difficult. Time to punch Kakashi a lot!

I ran forward, gearing a punch in exaggerated fashion. Kakashi looked at me oddly and…caught my punch.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/75._

Hehehe…got you.

I was stuck to his hand. Or rather his glove and I jumped land to his head, which he ducked under. I twisted around his hand and landed a kick right to his back. _Hey, this might not be so hard-_

Suddenly, I found myself grabbed with the other hand and flipped me over onto the ground. He landed a punch to the chest.

 _-5 HP._

That's it? Oh right. He's not actually trying to kill me.

I landed a punch to his face and stuck to his headband while I freed my other hand to reach for the bells and I _barely brushed them_ before I found a kick to my stomach, and a forearm brought down on my wrist, disrupting my concentration.

 _-10 HP._

 _-5 HP._

I bounced back to my feet, leaping away from him.

Kakashi angled his head at me. "Huh. Where did you learn how to do that?"

"Oh, it's something I picked up here and there," I said nonchalantly. "You learned a lot when people show off."

 _Charisma Check Failed 4/5._

Shut up, game.

"Uh huh," Kakashi said, disbelieve only slightly in his voice. "Well, since you've proven that I might actually have to take you seriously, I guess I won't be getting to read my book any time soon."

I was going to need to change tactics. So…I looked around. "Wait, where's my team?"

"You didn't see them run off?" Kakashi asked incredulously.

"…be right back!" I said, running off in the direction I saw Hisako run in.

Please don't run after me, please don't run after me, please don't run after me…

He didn't run after me.

I think.

 _Perception Check Failed: 5/8._

What does that _mean_ game? That he's stalking me or that I don't have enough perception to know for a fact there's nothing there?

So…where did she go?

 _Survival Check Success: 17/15_.

Oh, there's a foot print, a bent shrub, a freshly broken branch…there she was, hiding in a tree. "Hey!"

I called up to her. She turned around and saw me, jumping down to meet me.

"Where'd you go? We could've had the bells," I asked grumpily.

"He's a Jounin," She barked at me. "Hiding and waiting for him to be vulnerable seemed like the smart thing to do. What were _you_ doing?"

"I thought I had an edge on him," I shook my head. "It didn't work and now he'll be ready for it if I use it again."

"It was kind of surprising to see how well you did," Hisako admitted. Then her gaze narrowed. "Have you been holding out on me?"

"No," I answered truthfully. "Actually graduating was very inspiring."

She snorted. "Whatever. You want to fight him together?"

"Yeah, but we need Nichiren," I replied.

Hisako scoffed. "That useless coward?"

"Yes," I replied. "He graduated too, so he's got to be good for something."

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

Finally! Thank you, game!

"Fine, let's go before Kakashi ties him to the post," Hisako stalked off. "But I get a bell."

"We'll decide what to do with the bells once we get them, alright?" I asked exasperatedly. "We can argue for days about who gets to go back to the Academy, but it doesn't actually mean anything until we get the bells."

 _Speech Check Success: 24/20_.

 _+15 EXP._

"Whatever, let's just go find him," She waved me to follow her.

I wonder when the game decides on speech check versus a regular charisma check. That needs testing if I'm going to be putting points into a skill: I need to know how to use it.

Kakashi wasn't in the regular clearing so we cut across it and…

 _Perception Check Success: 5/5._

I saw a silver gleam, shining under a tree.

"Hey look," Hisako said with a large smile. "You must've startled him so much he dropped a bell."

"That is obviously a trap," I said with a nod.

Hisako frowned at me. "You think so? I guess you're right. Pity. Think we can get the bell without springing it?"

 _Perception Check Failed: 5/8._

"Probably," I answered. "Can you see the trap?"

"Hmmmm…" Hisako replied. "Nope."

"Maybe Nichiren would be able to see it," I not so subtly dropped the hint that we needed to keep looking.

"Maybe you're right," Hisako allowed, turning to me. "Why are you so hung up on finding him?"

"Because we're a team and I don't think we have a chance to get the bells without everyone here," I said. "There's only two bells, so it's like Kakashi is deliberately trying to divide us up and I don't want to go back to the academy."

 _Speech Check Success: 24/20._

 _+15 EXP._

"Hey I'm with you there," She said with a nod. "The academy was so boring. It didn't teach me anything I already know."

2,105 EXP until level. Nice!

"Where did you learn so much?" I asked as we walked past.

"My parents are both Shinobi," She replied. "They taught me what they could when they weren't busy. How about you?"

"I was just born this great," I said glibly.

"Oh whatever," Hisako rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"

"I don't really know," I lied, shrugging. "I'm just really smart and so what they tried to teach me just stuck to me like magic almost."

 _Survival Check success: 17/15._

"I think he went that way," I said, pointing toward a path that had a scattered trail of footprints going down it.

"Oh. Nice," Hisako nodded in the direction of the trail. "We'll find him in no time."

I hope so.

We ran down the trail and _holy crap what the-?_

"H-help…me…" There he was alright, with blood seeping down his back from numerous kunai and shuriken stuck there.

I…I don't believe it. Kakashi actually killed that nervous wreck! That…that's not canon at all. I thought I was going to be a student of a lazy shinobi, not a murderous one!

"Kai!" Hisako shouted, and the air around Nichiren warped around and he disappeared.

Wait what? Oh…

 _Perception Check Failed: 5/7._

 **Derp** _ **.**_

Okay, that's a gaping hole in my kit. Genjutsu vulnerability. That isn't good.

"Well, that was encouraging," I finally managed.

"It's supposed to be test, remember?" Hisako asked with a risen eyebrow. "Let's go find him so we can figure out a plan."

"Agreed," I said with a nod.

Running through the forest, we did eventually find him. Curled up into a ball against a tree crying his eyes out. This…isn't promising. "Uh…Nichiren? Are you okay?"

He looked up at us, gasped something awful. "You guys are alive! How-how are you?"

"He hit you with a Genjutsu too, huh?" I asked with a sigh.

"Wait…that was a-?" He slapped his face. "I'm so stupid!"

"Hey don't worry about it," I said. "I fell for it too."

 _Charisma Check Failed: 4/5._

OH FOR PETE'S SAKE!

"You're just saying that," He accused weakly.

"No, he's telling the truth," Hisako came to my rescue. "I had to break him out of it."

"…really?" Nichiren asked with wide eyes.

"Yes. Really," I affirmed, folding my arms. "Now we need a plan to get the bells from Kakashi. Fast."

It was 11:41, so unless we got the bells, everyone would get tied to posts and have to watch Kakashi eat lunch in front of them. Didn't bother me at all, which will take some getting used to, but the twin grumbling stomachs I heard was an agreement.

Kakashi was probably watching us to see what we were going to do.

 _Perception Check Failure: 5/9_.

Shut up, game.

"Well you guys can have the bells," Nichiren said. "I don't deserve to be a Genin."

"Yes you do," I said automatically. "So you got caught in a Genjutsu. Sure it was scary, but it has to happen eventually."

"No, not that," He shook his head violently. "I cheated."

"What do you mean you cheated," Hisako asked with just a hint of venom in her voice.

"I mean I cheated at the Graduation exam," Nichiren explained rapidly. "I didn't study enough and I don't have the Taijutsu skills needed to be a Genin. So I took a soldier pill and copied from several other students."

Oooh.

Well, that would explain the nervousness.

"Wouldn't they have noticed the extra physical prowess from the soldier pill, though?" I asked, cupping my chin.

"Not if you suppress it and don't act like you're swimming in chakra," Nichiren replied, seeming to breathe a little easier.

"How did you cheat off of several other students?" Hisako asked curiously. "Aren't our teachers all Chunin at least?"

"Well yeah they are," Nichiren nodded. "But when a couple of classmates started sneezing uncontrollably, they were a little distracted."

Dang.

"So I've been scared this whole time I was going to accidentally get you both killed because I couldn't muster up to the challenge," Nichiren said. "Then I got hit with that Genjutsu and I thought I really _did_ get you killed and-"

"Hey," Hisako knelt and put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him out of it. "It's okay. We're not dead."

"Is it wrong that I'm actually a little impressed?" I asked with a confused shrug.

"I'm not actually sure," Hisako answered, blinking.

"Y-your impressed?" Nichiren asked blankly.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because we're ninja," I replied. "Being devious is part of the job. What you just told us was some next-level stuff. I think it's awesome. I mean, you're going to have to pick up the slack at some point, but cheating like that is its own level of aptitude."

 _Speech Check Failure: 24/25._

Rats.

"I still cheated and I still need to tell Sensei," Nichiren said, looking downcast. "So, you need to get the bells."

"Well, like it or not we're still a part of a team," I said, folding my arms. "You mind putting that deviousness to work in separating Kakashi from those bells?"

"I think it'd help a lot," Hisako said. "You can tell Kakashi about the cheating afterwards."

"Okay!" Nichiren said, standing up. "I brought some smoke pellets and stuff."

"Alright, let's head out," I said. "I think we've been sitting here for too long."

I got a pair of agreements from them and we headed out.

"Oh, by the way Nichiren?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you study very hard?"

"Oh," He said. "Oh, hehe. Well, see, my parents are civilians and they own a clothing store. They needed a lot of help this year when half the staff quit."

I could see that. I've been there, having to work while half my co-workers quick, leaving us understaffed. Made it difficult to work on college stuff, let me tell you.

"Makes sense."

* * *

We talked on the way, in whispers, formulating a plan. I was pretty sure Kakashi heard or at least was able to guess it in its entirety, but I hope the teamwork impressed him. Because we weren't passing otherwise.

It was 11:55 and we needed to find him. We headed out to the clearing, the bell trap was still there.

"Guys screw it," Hisako said, maybe a little loud. "I'm getting that bell."

"Wait, no!" I replied back as she ran over to get the bell and what happened was predictable. The rope tightened around her ankle and she was hoisted up into the air.

"And you were doing so well!" Kakashi said mirthfully, appearing suddenly as he retrieved the bell. "But you really shouldn't fall for such an ob-"

I was on him like glue. I tackled him from behind-

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/90._

-and I stuck there punching his head even as he jumped _HOLY CRAP THAT'S HIGH_ and tried to suplex me! I switched grip to my hand and swung around to his front to start kneeing him in the stomach. Then he punched me in the face, grabbed me and spun around again as he landed, him on his feet while holding me in the air.

But Hisako was free and she was carrying a pair of Kunai as she went for the bells. He accidentally let me touch the ground and I was stuck there, too.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/95_.

Suddenly, he couldn't leave the grou-wow, my Chakra's getting low fast! I grabbed his arm and he _ripped me and the ground beneath me_ out and threw me at Hisako, who had the common sense to duck.

I hit the ground and was thoroughly dazed.

 _-40 HP_.

Dang. Well, that was fair, considering what playing nice got him. Still hurt a lot, though. _Ow_.

I stood up and started running back to the fight because Kakashi was making short work of Hisako, who just wasn't skilled or crazy enough to keep up. Behind Kakashi was Nichiren who was making a grab for the bells.

Only for Kakashi to grab Nichiren's wrist and throw him down to the ground with one hand.

Suddenly, way off by the posts, the Alarm rang.

"Stop!" Kakashi shouted, holding an outstretched hand. He took a deep breath and looked at each of us. "You all pass."

 _Quest Updated: Shinobi, Assemble!_

 _Completed: Pass the Bell Test._

 _Completed (optional): Pass before someone is tied to a pillar._

 _Talk to Kakashi-sensei._

There's optional objectives to quests? Holy cow, I had no idea!

"Wait, what?" I said, playing a long. "We didn't get the bells!"

"Don't be coy," He glared at me. "You _knew_ I was testing your teamwork."

"…okay yeah, I did," I said, rubbing my heads.

"Wait, what?" Hisako sounded alarmed. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because that would've undermined the test," I said. "I highly doubt we would've passed like this if we all knew the solution."

"He's right," Kakashi said with frustration. "You all showed admirable teamwork and were willing to work with each other in spite of personal misgivings."

"Then why are you mad, Sensei?" I asked.

He looked at me. "Because while you did show that you weren't willing to abandon each other, _you_ still knew what the test was and that undermined the entire point."

"…sorry Sensei," I said. "But when we're raised on 'The Will of Fire' and how everyone in our village is like our family and how we're supposed to never betray our village…the lesson was clear."

Kakashi grunted. "I suppose that's true. But there is one thing I wanted to ask."

"Yes, Sensei?" I asked.

" _How did you get so good at the Tree-walking jutsu?_ " He asked, exasperatedly.

"You mean like how I was stuck to you and you couldn't get away?" I asked. When I got a nod, I continued. "Well, I do have a bloodline, apparently. Maybe that's a part of it? I don't know the details all that much."

 _Charisma Check Fail: 4/5._

"I thought your bloodline helped you recuperate when you sleep," Kakashi said, eye narrowing.

"As I said, I don't know all the details," I said, shrugging. "I was able to do the tree-walking jutsu on my first day of the academy almost effortlessly. You gave me the most challenge with it I've ever had, so…"

Kakashi sensei sighed. "Okay, that makes sense."

 _Speech Check Success: 24/20._

 _+15 EXP._

2,090 EXP left.

"Erm…sensei," Nichiren said, timidly approaching and bowing.

"Yes, Nichiren?" Kakashi asked, turning to him.

"I have something to tell you," Nichiren looked like he was bracing for impact.

"I heard you in the forest," Kakashi replied.

"Y-you did?" Nichiren gulped.

"I did," Kakashi confirmed with a sigh. "I will need to tell the Hokage and we'll need to go over your case, but Daisuke was right: We're Ninja. Cheating systems is a part of what we do."

"Sensei," Nichiren said looking at him with star struck eyes.

"Now everyone, please follow me," Kakashi-sensei…it's going to be weird calling him that for a while beckoned us and we followed behind him.

He, of course, lead us to the black memorial stone on the outskirts of the training ground. I remembered it from the Anime and it was an impressive, if grim looking, structure, shaped like a Kunai.

"Does anyone know what this is?"

My hand went up.

"Besides you."

My hand went down.

"It's the memorial stone," Hisako replied, looking on it with respect and reverence. "On it are the names of every Shinobi who has ever died in the service of our village."

It's kind of like the Vietnam memorial wall back in my old world. Except shaped like a Kunai. Shame I never visited that one before I died.

"So, Nichiren," Kakashi addressed the Genin firmly. "You said you wanted to be a Field Medic. Is that still true?"

He nodded, rapidly.

"Field medics possess a very important role," Kakashi said quietly. "They keep their teammates alive and their names off of this memorial. I would be _proud_ to train someone like that."

He looked into Nichiren's eyes.

"If you are to remain a Shinobi, you and by extension your parents, must understand that being a Shinobi is your job and the most important one in the village," Kakashi said weightily. "If you promise me that you will do everything in your power to make up for your lack of training in the academy, I will do everything I can to make sure you stay on this team. Can you do that?"

"Yes! Yes, Sensei, I promise," Nichiren nodded some more, before bowing all the way to the ground. "Thank you, Sensei!"

Cool. I get the most devious person I've seen in a long while on my team. I consider this a bonus.

"As for you two," Kakashi said, looking at me and Hisako. "Meet me at the Hokage Tower's entrance in three days at seven in the morning. That's about how long it'll take to get your teammates situation sorted out."

"Hai, Sensei," We both said at the same time, bowing.

 _Quest Complete: Shinobi, Assemble!_

 _Completed: Talk with Kakashi-Sensei._

 _+1500 EXP_.

…holy crap, that is a lot.

590 EXP until level 6.

"And Daisuke," Kakashi said to me.

"Yes, Sensei?"

"We need to figure out the extension of your bloodline one of these days," Kakashi said, his visible eye looking like he still didn't believe what had happened.

"Hai, Sensei," I replied.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Whew, that was a fun chapter to write! It's HUGE, too, so I clearly have the ability to write like crazy!_

 _On Kakashi: The suggestion of Anko was the other contender for the slot. I like both characters and every suggestion I received for the Jounin Sensei were good ones. The reason I went with Kakashi was partly my choice of build: Kakashi knows a lot about Taijutsu, Ninjutsu and Fuinjutsu. Enough that he got made Hokage. He also is the one I'm most familiar with and as are many of the readers._

 _The build I'm going for with Daisuke is much closer to a Magic Knight than an actual Ninja, simply because that's what the series turned into and I wanted him to simply embrace it. Now, this doesn't mean that he won't have points in stealth, because he will, but that Stealth won't be his style after a while. Because of Kakashi's Ninjutsu and Fuinjutsu are perfect for that kind of character._

 _However, I did get an amazing recommendation for a kunai wielding, poison using speedster and that led to the fleshing out of Hisako: That's what she's going to be and she's going to be_ good _at it. I hope you like her and if not, let me know what you didn't like._

 _I hope this makes sense and that you can accept it. If not, I understand completely._

 _Also, Anko will play a part in this fic, simply because I liked the suggestion_ that _much. In a mentor role._

 _As always, any thoughts, critiques or criticisms are greatly appreciated and help me become a better writer._

 _Also, what did you think about Nichiren? I don't think I've seen anyone like him before, so I'd appreciate feedback on him a lot, as well as Hisako. Thank you all so much in advance! :D_


	6. Interlude: Kakashi's Report

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Hatake Kakashi still didn't believe what had happened earlier that day.

He had actually passed a team.

A team that by all rights should've fallen apart the moment they got to the training ground. They had no existing basis for teamwork. There was a Genin who was so nervous he could barely talk, a Genin who was almost too disgusted by the test itself to look for any real meaning within it, and a Genin who was so anti-social that he made all of zero friends in the academy.

Kakashi was understandably bewildered, since none of the teams he had tested it on so far had understood the point of the test. All they thought was 'mine!' from the moment the test starts until a few minutes after he finished his 'you failed' speech. Then comes a Genin who, by all rights was brilliant though nothing that hadn't been seen before with a unique blood-line and he sees through the test almost immediately and corrals his teammates behind him without directly informing them of the test itself.

According to the records he had gone over before collecting them, Daisuke's parentage was completely unknown. No records existed, which was scary all on its own.

So, it was with a great deal of trepidation that he made his way to the Hokage's office, where all of the other Jounin were gathered before the Hokage to discuss their teams. He also knew that people were waiting for him to pass a team. He had hoped to save that for Uchiha Sasuke or his Sensei's own son in a year.

But then today happened.

He was not ready for today.

Up the stairs he went, the slow way, step by step. He had an image to protect, after all. Eventually, he came to the door to the Hokage's office and it opened before he could even knock. Standing at the door, was Maito Gai.

"Kakashi, my Eternal Rival!" He said, flashing his nice-guy pose. "Good to see you!"

Kakashi mentally sighed, though enjoyed. "Hello, Gai. How are you?"

"I'm fantastic!" Gai exclaimed. "Tell me, have you finally found a team youthful, cool and hip enough to pass your standards?"

"I think that's what the meetings for," Kakashi replied drolly. "The one that I'm late for?"

"Come in Kakashi," The Hokage called from within the office. "You're just in time."

Kakashi blinked, perturbed at the announcement. "I am?"

"Yes, I had to postpone the meeting due to unforeseen events," The Hokage said as Kakashi entered and took his seat on a cushion bordering a window.

"I see," Kakashi frowned underneath his mask.

Kakashi surveyed the room. Aside from Gai and himself, in there were thirteen other jounin, each supposedly with a team they were to teach. There were the token members from the Yamanaka, Nara and Akimichi clans, a Hyuuga whom was standing straight in her seat. There were others not from clans. Sitting beside the Hokage was the Jounin Commander, Nara Shikaku. He was clearly there for administration purposes: He wanted to know which jounin would be available for high-risk missions and who would not.

"So, assorted jounin," The Hokage lit his pipe. "Now that we're all here, please, from team 1 to 15, report on whether or not they passed your individual probationary periods."

Not all jounin had tests like the Bell Test. Some simply conducted a formal or informal interview of each member before making their decisions. Others simply passed their students outright if they were that sure of their readiness. Others had a test very much like the bell test, but rigged in different ways, depending on what the sensei was looking for.

"Pass."

"Pass."

"Fail…"

And so it went. When Gai was called upon, he stood up.

"Yosh! Their skills are exemplary and even if they possess a hundred handicaps, I will stoke the fires of their youth so bright they shall outshine all their competition!" Gai shouted, striking a pose that somehow ended up upon a cliff with the waves of the sea beating upon the rocks in glorious fashion. "And if I cannot, I will train Genin-teams for the rest of my life!"

"So is that a pass?" The Hokage asked with an amused smile.

"Most certainly, Hokage-sama," Gai answered cheerfully.

"Wonderful," The Hokage replied. "I'm sure you'll do great things for all of them."

Eventually, it came to Kakashi. It was the moment he had been dreading since that Genin had his hand stuck on his hitai-ate. He sighed in defeat and got himself ready for a long, long meeting. "Pass."

The room had gone very still, all eyes on Kakashi. His test was really, really _infamous_ amongst the other Jounin for being unbeatable by all Genin-teams that had been thrown at it. The fact that Kakashi had just declared that a team had _passed_ was almost unthinkable.

Well, everyone was still except Gai, who was trying so hard to contain his excitement that he was shaking.

"Remarkable," The Hokage smiled. He took the pipe out of his mouth. "Before we hear Kakashi's report on his new Genin team, Miyamoto. Aonuma. Pass or fail?"

"Pass," The two jounin replied at the same time.

Something inside Kakashi groaned in annoyance as he felt the eyes of the entire room. Including the Hyuuga, who had her Byakugan on for some reason.

"So, Kakashi," The Hokage seemed to really enjoy what was going on. "Please report the events of the bell test."

Kakashi took a deep breath and readied himself. "Cell 13 demonstrated enough teamwork qualities to receive a passing grade in spite of failure to secure either bell. Genin Shimoda saw through the test nearly immediately and was able to somehow rally his team behind him in a plan to seize the bells."

"I see," The Hokage said. "That alone is commendable from them. Did they show any other remarkable traits?"

"Nakamura showed above average stealth capabilities," Kakashi replied. "Yamada demonstrated an ability to detect and break Genjutsu and Shimoda demonstrated tokubetsu-jounin level Taijutsu and better Chakra Control than mine."

Some disbelieving scoffs were heard around the room, alongside some chuckles, but all were silent as the Hokage's killing intent entered the room _just enough_ for everyone to feel a slight chill in their bones.

"I can see you're not joking, Kakashi-san," The Hokage intoned, puffing his pipe for a long moment. "Please explain."

"Shimoda used telegraphed attacks to lure me into a trap," Kakashi replied. "He used the tree walking technique to stick to and attack me. Later, he used the same technique and when I attempted to push him off with my own chakra, I couldn't do it."

There were whispers going around the room and Kakashi withheld a sigh.

"To top it off," Kakashi wrapped up his report. "He had seen through the bell test and exploited his knowledge to force a pass."

"Did he give an explanation as to why his control was so good?" The Hokage asked.

"He credited his bloodline," Kakashi replied.

"And the other two?"

"Nakamura has talent in stealth and Yamada had seen through the Hellviewing Technique," Kakashi said. "Nothing as exciting."

No one moved or said anything aside from the occasional sharp whisper to their comrade beside them. Until Gai stood up. "Yosh! Our teams must duel to see who is the best team! I will train them so hard that they will surpass your superbly youthful Genin!"

 _Never change, Gai_ , Kakashi thought with a smile. _Never change_.

"Before this goes back to every clan in the room tonight," The Hokage said, standing and walking around to the front of the desk. "Please remember to pass on that attempting to suck up to the leader of a future clan is in terrible taste, especially since he's only twelve and only a week out of the academy. Am I understood?"

A chorus of 'Hai, Hokage-sama' went through the room.

Satisfied, he turned to Kakashi. "Kakashi-san?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"I want you suggest and _encourage_ him to get his blood tested so we can see what we're dealing with here." The Hokage ordered. "Help him train and to find the limits of his bloodline. No forcing him to do anything. Report anything unusual that is claimed to be a part of the bloodline _directly_ _to me_. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Now, if there's nothing else?" The Hokage inquired.

"I do have something else to discuss in private, Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied. "Alone. And it has nothing to do with Shimoda or his bloodline."

"Very well," The Hokage replied. "Everyone else, dismissed."

The room slowly filed out, the last to leave being the Jounin Commander.

"So what's this about if not an improbably powerful bloodline," The Hokage took another puff of his pipe.

"During the Bell Test, Nakamura Nichiren confessed to cheating on his graduation exams," Kakashi got the other thing out into the open.

"Has he?" The Hokage replied. "How did he do this?"

"With a soldier pill and clever application of sneezing powder."

The Hokage let out a short, barking laugh. "My goodness. What do you think should be done?"

"I wanted to request that he remain on the team," Kakashi answered.

The Hokage was quiet, as he puffed on his pipe. "Why?"

"Because he was afraid his lack of ability would result in his teammates getting killed and wanted to tell me even when his teammates didn't think it was necessarily wrong," Kakashi replied. "He swore that he would do everything in his power to rectify the gaps in his knowledge and skills."

"And why does he want to be a Shinobi?" The Hokage asked.

"He wants to be a medic-nin to help injured shinobi on the front lines," Kakashi answered.

The Hokage made a thoughtful sound, releasing several puffs of smoke.

"I will need to meet the lad," The Hokage replied. "Impress on him how cheating when it's not implicitly required is no way to handle his education. If he is as complicit as you say, then I will grant him the privilege of remaining on your team."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied with a bow. "That's all I had."

"Dismissed."

Kakashi was out the window in seconds and heading back to his home where he can just take a nap and recover from this insane day.

But in the Hokage's office, the Hokage gently sat back down in his chair, thinking over Kakashi's report. He thought back to that day, all those years ago, when Naruto, the innocent child he was, brought Daisuke to him, announcing to the orphanage that that was his friend.

"If I had known what you'd turn out to be," The Hokage chuckled, still remembering his embarrassed gratitude at receiving the little black note-book for his birthday. He sighed, looking over the copy of Daisuke's identification card.

"I think we're in for some eventful years."

* * *

 _Authors Notes: There seems to be some slight confusion, most likely because I failed to remove the author's notes from the previous couple of chapters - this story is already 50 or so chapters long, on Spacebattles dot com. For clarities sake, I'm posting it here to get some more exposure. Thanks to everyone for reading, you guys are the best.  
_


	7. The D-Ranks Begin

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

It was 6 in the morning and I was looking through the manual for perks. Trying to fit together a general build path for me now that I'm actually going to start gaining EXP now. I'm trying to find early perks that center around Taijutsu, and I've been… _fairly_ successful. Stone Wall is a great perk, but needs another point of endurance and strength for me to get.

It's honestly been a while since I've read this list in its entirety. I've forgotten some of the good ones, from the classic 'Paralyzing Palm perk' (which is like Jyuuken on steroids, though it requires a level of 18) to the new Chakra Vampire perk, which is an activated effect that turns my Taijutsu strikes into chakra siphons, stealing a little chakra away from my opponent at a time, though it requires level _34_ and a Ninjutsu of 50, alongside the Taijutsu requirement of 60.

The only activatable effect I remember from Fallout was V.A.T.S, but I guess that's just the advantage of my unique situation here; no keys to worry about, more activatable effects. Speaking of V.A.T.S, I don't have it. I looked for it in the manual, thinking it may have been a perk but then I found it in the F.A.Q near the end.

 _We felt that V.A.T.S was unnecessary in a reincarnated platform title, due to skills being more than capable of allowing the player to hit limbs without an arbitrary slow-motion camera with cinematic flare_.

But those are awesome! But I saw their point. Besides, I hated getting killed mid-VATS because I couldn't cancel the animation to get out of the way of a super-sledge to the face. That was the worst.

But the cream of the crop? The perk I absolutely must get when I reach the right level? The one thing that will make this all worth it? Level 30's _Almost Perfect_.

Yes, it's a thing here. Yes, it does _exactly_ what it did in Fallout 3; raises every special stat that is beneath 9 too…well, 9. For me, that would impact Strength, Perception, Endurance, Agility and _Charisma_. Yes. ESPECIALLY Charisma. Why is that so cool?

Well, in this game that I've found myself in, the maximum level I can get is 50, so I can take advantage of a _lot_ of the perks that particular perk affords me, plus all the skills that suddenly get bonuses from the heightened special stats. Oh, and if that's not enough, the stat bonuses from my level are…wait, let me check the book again…are retroactive, so it the bonus I get is as if I had 9 the whole time!

That's one of the biggest power boosts I've been able to find _and_ it takes care of my biggest weakness! It's…my goal. The thing that will make everything I went through for the past twelve years be okay. Even if every perk I plan right now becomes something different with the situations that arise, _I am taking that broken-$# perk_.

Of course, there's a _lot_ of perks in the manual. I haven't counted them, not even _I_ got time for that, but there's a lot.

It also the only way that I'm going to increase my Charisma any time soon. Because if I'm right, my Henges bonus will get larger with a higher Ninjutsu, thus _largely_ fixing the problem and it's not like I'll need a Charisma in a fight. I hope, anyway. I haven't seen anything indicating otherwise, so I don't _think_ the Charisma was used in combat aside from helping teammates, which makes sense since that's what _all the perks_ for charisma seem to do. That _can_ be good but I…can't really rely on having my team to back me up at all times, can I? It's not like we're glued together.

* * *

"Hey, guys!" Nichiren shouted, waving to us as he ran up to Hisako and myself, headband worn proudly. "They let me stay on the team!"

"That's great!" Hisako smiled. "Kakashi say how much training you're in for?"

"Uh well," Nichiren rubbed the back of his head. Then he bent toward us and beckoned us forward. "I think it might be of the lethal quantity."

"Oooh," I said with sympathy. "Well, good luck."

"Thanks, I'll need it."

"So was Kakashi-sensei with you?" Hisako asked, looking behind him.

Nichiren straightened up. "Yeah, he said he had to take care of some things before he got here."

"How long do you think he'll take?" Hisako said with a frown.

"Two hours' tops," I offered.

"I think closer to an hour," Nichiren replied. "He didn't say he had to take care of much. Just some paper work."

We were currently at training ground 1. I was sitting on a cut down stump just on the side of the road, with Hisako leaning against a wooden lamp-post, sharpening her kunai with a whetstone. Nichiren sat down cross legged on the grass.

An hour and a half later, Kakashi-sensei walked up the road. His book was dark green this time and he didn't seem to be paying attention to anything around him.

"You're late," Hisako snarled at him.

"Hmmm?" Kakashi looked up from his erotica briefly. "I'm sorry, I was just asked to do a mountain of paperwork for your teammate here."

…I think that is the most plausible excuse I've heard from Kakashi in either life.

"It…yeah, it was a giant mountain," Nichiren nodded, folding his arms. "I'm not sure why I thought he could get it done in an hour, it has huge."

"Exactly," Kakashi intoned. "Thank you, Nichiren."

I wasn't sure if Nichiren was lying or not.

 _Perception Check Failed: 5/7_.

Okay, that tears it.

With a grunt of annoyance, I took out my black book. There had to be an option here somewhere. Something to…reduce the number of alerts I get. Those things are _super_ annoying. I mean, every time I'd try to talk to someone, it was _Charisma Check Failed_ this and _Charisma Check Failed_ that. Now I'm failing _Perception Checks_ left and right and it's _pissing me off_!

I turn passed the list of perks and came to a section helpfully named _Options_ , went to the _Gaming subsection_ and there was an option titled _In-game Messages_ , fitted in a column on the left. On a column on the right was the word _All_ with arrows on either side of it. I pressed the arrow on the left, and it changed to _EXP gain_ , I pressed it again and it went down to _None._

Okay, that would be better…I think I only need to know if I gain EXP from something so I can number crunch, so…yeah. There we go. I changed the option to _EXP gain_ and closed the book and…noticed that my team, including my sensei, had gathered around me to look at what I was fiddling with. They looked confused.

"Ummm…" I said blankly, looking at everyone. "Can I help you?"

"What were all those weird symbols in your book there?" Nichiren asked, tilting his head.

"They were symbols," I said, nodding.

"Daisuke!" Hisako snapped. "That's not an answer!"

"Yes it is!" I answered. "It's just a really vague one!"

"Why are you being vague?" Kakashi asked calmly.

"Because the things in this book are private," I replied, looking up at him. "It's like a journal but with lists and stuff."

"What kind of lists?" Nichiren asked, adjusting his glasses.

"You know, things I have to do, things I can do, that sort of thing," I answered, pocketing the book and I think it vanished off to wherever it goes when I do that. "It's not really something I think I need to share."

The group mulled over that for a minute.

"That's fair," Kakashi shrugged.

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei," I said. "Now, what are we doing today?"

"Training," Kakashi said, closing his own book and pocketing it.

 _$#%_.

"As you know, your teammate here isn't entirely up to where he should be," Kakashi said, putting a shoulder on Nichiren. "So, I will be personally testing and training him to see where's he's fallen behind to bring him up to speed while you two spar and practice your Taijutsu. Understood?"

"Hai Sensei," Hisako and I said at the same time.

With that…we walked a few feet away…and started sparring.

She opens up with a punch that I'm barely able parry, aimed at my face. A well placed hand sends it just to the fight, barely clipping my ear. I retaliate with a fist to her stomach, but she dodges to the left.

I barely caught a kick to my stomach, and I pulled her into a kick of my own. My sandal goes into her side and she's sent to the ground with a pained grunt.

"You okay?" I ask, offering my hand.

"Yeah," She takes it and pulls herself up. "You've been holding out on me."

"Graduating was _very_ inspiring," I replied. "Unlocked new levels of skill I didn't even know I had."

"Oh haha," Hisako took a deep breath. "Alright, I'm ready."

"Okay," I settled into a stance with a sigh. This was going to take longer than I thought.

* * *

After two days of non-productive training, Kakashi-sensei finally told us to meet him at the entrance to the Academy's administrative building. Which could only mean _one thing!_

D-RANK MISSION!

I never thought I could be this jazzed about the idea of pulling weeds or painting houses. Usually I hated both of those activities but I guess tying those things to obtaining world ending power makes them much more appealing than normal.

I was the first one there, having been mostly successful in resisting the urge to skip the whole way there. Mostly. Bouncing on the balls of my feet as I stand; definitely doing that right now. It wasn't long before I saw Hisako walking up, with a small smile on her face.

"What are you so happy about?" She asked me.

"I've been wanting a mission for a long time," I replied almost too jittery to notice her smile fade away.

"You do know that we're just going to be pulling weeds or something, right?" Hisako folded her arms. "It's not like we're going to be doing anything exciting or important."

"Don't care," I cheerfully informed her. "Mission."

She looked at me like my brains had melted out of my ears, leaving an empty canal she could see through if she wasn't to irritated to look. At this point, I would believe it if I had. I was pretty excited. This means, hopefully, EXP. And if my hopes are true, that means additional levels and I can get the crazy amount of EXP I was hoping to get through the academy.

At least I hope.

"You're a weirdo," Hisako snarked.

"Yes," I nodded with a thoughtful frown. "Yes I am."

A few minutes later, Nichiren shows up. Team 13 exchanges greetings and then we sit down and begin the long vigil.

"Please tell me he's not going to be four hours late again," I grumbled, burying my face in my hands.

"The longest he's been gone is two," Nichiren offered weakly. I glared at him.

"Just be patient Daisuke," Hisako sighed. "All Jounin have a quirk, this is his."

"I would've taken the guy in green if he proved he could be on time," I frowned sharply.

"Okay that's a little harsh," Hisako replied. "He _is_ our sensei and you need to be more respectful."

"Whatever," I said, booting up the wait command. "I'm going to do that meditate thing again."

"Oh. You want us to shove you again when Kakashi-sensei arrives?" Nichiren asked with a frown.

"Yeah. But this time?" I said, looking Nichiren square in the glasses. "Wait until I actually don't respond before shoving me, okay?"

"Okay," Nichiren replied, looking downcast.

"Thanks," I wait for an hour. No show. I wait for another hour and my wait gets cut off early, because Kakashi showed up, looking bored.

"You're late again," Hisako stated, sounding completely resigned.

"Sorry, a little old lady got hit by a wagon and I had to take her to the hospital," Kakashi explained sheepishly. "It was the strangest thing."

"Uhhh…" Nichiren made a sound, looking at me.

"Yes, I'm awake Nichiren," I nodded at him. "Thank you for checking."

"No problem," He said, standing up.

"So what does that mean, exactly?" Kakashi asked, looking at me.

"Oh, I've got this meditative technique which lets me skip hours at a time," I replied. "It's how I dealt with you being late the first time."

Kakashi's eye blinked. "Is that why Nichiren shoved you that first day in the class room?"

"Yeah, I asked him to shove me when you showed up if I didn't respond," I explained, standing up and stretching. "This would be the second time I've done it."

"Huh," Kakashi cupped his hand. "That seems…convenient. Where did you learn the technique?"

"Kind of taught myself," I replied, rubbing the back of my head. "Not sure I can teach anyone else-can we get a mission now?"

Kakashi looked at ne for a long moment. "Alright. Let's go inside."

The mission desk was an interesting place. The office where it was located in was decorated with motivational posters, telling Shinobi inside to do their best and that we could do anything with the Will of Fire. Nationalistic crap but I supposed it did the job well enough.

Kakashi lead us to one of the Chunin, who had dark skin, hair tied in a pony-tail wait - it's Iruka! Huh. I think I saw him in the school from time to time but didn't recognize him. That scar across his nose really stands out, now that I think about it. Huh.

"Hello, Iruka-san," Kakashi said.

"Hatake-san," The instructor returned with a slight bow from his seat. "I see you've finally passed a Genin-team!"

"They were a very insistent team," Kakashi breathed in subtle exasperation. "Do you have any D-ranks for us?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Iruka said, taking out a few scrolls. "Here you go."

Kakashi examined each scroll carefully. One by one, he rolled them up and placed them back in the basket, before putting the second to last one in his pocket, and placing the last one back in the basket. "Thank you, Iruka."

"Have a good day," He said cheerfully. Then he turned to us. "Enjoy your first mission!"

"So what are we doing?" I asked, jumping up and down like a little kid. "Pulling weeds? Painting houses? Doing construction?"

"You are way too excited for any of those," Nichiren deadpanned.

"Don't care," I answered cheerfully. "Mission."

Kakashi-sensei looked me oddly. "We're pulling weeds for a gardener just outside the main walls of Konoha."

"Yes!" Fist-pump.

 _Quest Accepted: D-Rank: Weeding the Garden on the Outskirts._

 _Go to the garden with your team._

"I'll race you there!" I told them, racing ahead.

"But you don't know where the garden is!" Hisako called after me in annoyance.

That stopped me immediately. Because unlike Fallouts 3, New Vegas and 4, I didn't have a compass. Which meant finding objectives was more immersive, but it left me with just my own sense of direction. Crap.

I wonder fast travel will ever be a thing? Probably not.

"Alright," I said, falling back in step with my team. "Let's go."

* * *

 _Quest Updated: D-Rank: Weeding the Garden on the Outskirts_

 _Completed: Go to the garden with your team._

 _Remove all the weeds in the garden._

The garden was actually planted in someone's back yard, behind a surprisingly modern looking house. The owner was an older gentleman, with short gray hair and was basically skin and bones. He led us out back, gave us gloves and tools and told us that everything in that plot of dirt was a weed that needed removing.

The yard was pretty decent sized. Wasn't the yard I played weed exterminator for, but it was up there. Kakashi sensei laid against the fence to watch us work and make sure we weren't slacking off. While I was pulling on a weed, I had a thought.

I hadn't tried to make chakra strings yet.

I mean, those things were a pretty underutilized skill, if I had to be honest with you. They could trip people, control puppets and thrown weapons and frankly just ruin people's day if used right. So…let's see if I can guess how it works.

So, I pooled chakra into the tips of my fingers, then I attached it to the stem of one of the weeds I was pulling, as if doing tree walking. Then, I gently pulled my fingers away, feeding chakra through my fingers as if lengthening the string and…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/75_.

 _+150 EXP._

 _Perk Earned: Chakra Strings._

 _You can create strings of chakra to manipulate things at a distance!_

Nice!

440 until level 6.

I checked my chakra levels and they were going down, slowly. I pulled on the weed and my levels went down a little bit faster but the drain wasn't too bad. I pulled a little harder and the weed came out. _Nice_.

I need to see how these things work out in combat. Next spar with Hisako, I'll let her know and we'll test it out.

So I moved on to another weed and this time, I sent strings down into the soil, deep alongside the things roots. See, the problem with weeds is that if you don't get rid of the whole root, it will eventually grow back. So, I pull with the strings and out it comes…and out…and out…geeze, this thing reached two feet deep!

I tossed it in the weed pile.

Okay, anything else I can think to test while I'm here?

…see if I can pull multiple weeds out with chakra strings?

I walked over to a clump of them and attached chakra strings to the base of each one. Didn't go too deep to preserve chakra, but this should be enough to get the surface one out. I pulled with the strings and my chakra took a bigger dip, but out they came.

 _Awesome_.

I experimented the whole time, attaching strings from a range, using strings to tie weeds together for better leverage, lots of other things that just made me giggle as I imagined the other stuff I could do with the strings alone.

We ended up finishing ahead of schedule because my strings were really good at this mundane-utility stuff. So with that, we started to head back to Konoha.

"So where'd you learn to do that?" Nichiren asked as we started to trek home. "That blue-string thing, I mean."

"Oh, I wanted to see if Tree-walking could be used over distances," I lied, trying to look him in the eye. I knew that you couldn't tell a liar from if they break eye contact or not, but I hoped _he_ didn't know that. "It could and it worked."

"Oh, okay," Nichiren replied, facing forward just a little too fast.

"You just wanted to see if something could work and you just make it work like that?" Hisako asked incredulously. "I'm jealous."

The word she wants is _envious_ but I stop myself from correcting her. "It's pretty awesome, isn't it?"

"Yeah," She agreed, looking forward. "It sure is."

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Speaking of stuff I want to test, there's something I've always wanted to see. Tree-walking allows a shinobi to stick to any surface. I wonder if I could do the opposite and make the ground underneath me really slippery. There's quite a bit of offense in something like that, now that I think about it, but I was mostly just wanting to slide across the dirt like I was on skates.

"So Kakashi-sensei," I said, walking backwards and looking at him. "Do you think we can do another mission today?"

"Why don't we report this one in first," Kakashi asked with a risen eyebrow. "Before seeing if there's another mission we can do."

"Okay Sensei," He had a point. I turned around just in time to avoid running right into a wooden post.

Close one.

* * *

 _Quest Complete: D-Rank: Weeding the Garden on the Outskirts_

 _+150 EXP._

Only 150? Well, that's disappointing. Whatever, I got a new toy out of the deal, so I guess I technically got _300_ out of the deal but still.

We went to the desk, there was Iruka again, he accepted our scroll and apparently all the D-ranks had summarily been taken while we were away by other teams who wanted to get two missions done in a day. We were handed our pay vouchers and I just stared at it for a second.

Was I disappointed? Yeah. About ready to blow a gasket? At first, but then I took a deep breath and counted to 10. Now I was just bummed. Oh well, more time for experimentation later.

"Daisuke?" Nichiren poked me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said a little faster than I wanted. "There'll be more missions."

"That's the spirit," Kakashi encouraged, taking his book out. "You all worked very hard today. Nichiren and Hisako, you're both free for the day. Daisuke, I want to talk with you before you go."

Uh-oh.

Hisako and Nichiren both looked at me with a little concern, but they left all the same.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei?" I asked.

"Let's go for a walk," Kakashi replied, still reading his book.

"Okay," I said, following after him.

We strode out of the academy gates, down the street.

"That jutsu you used is called 'Chakra Strings'," He said. "It's usually used by the Suna Puppeteer corp. to control their puppets."

"Okay," I said, looking down at the sidewalk. I wasn't sure where this was going. I wasn't in any trouble, was I?

…maybe those perception checks were at least a little helpful.

"Usually Puppeteers go through a lot of training to be able to do that jutsu," Kakashi continued. "You figured it out on a D-rank. It's…remarkably impressive."

"Thank you, Sensei?" Seriously, where is this going?

"You said this level of chakra control you possess is a part of your bloodline, right?" Kakashi asked.

"Well yeah," I answered, looking up at him. His eye didn't _seem_ dangerous. "I mean, normal Genin don't have the control I do, so where else would it come from?"

"Point," Kakashi responded. "The Hokage has asked me to get your bloodline tested."

"…what would that all involve?" I asked him. There was a really _bad_ feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Well, a simple blood test for starters," Kakashi said. "Then we'd work out a baseline of what you can do from there. Things like if you can pass it on or if there's anything you need to know about it going forward with your career."

"After that?" I asked with a frown. I was over the fear of being denied a career, but I could also end up being the future leader if the abilities I build are inheritable, if not the game system itself.

"I'm not sure," Kakashi admitted. "You don't have to do this if you don't want too, but it would help us find out if there's anything we…need to know."

If my bloodline causes me to turn into a giant monkey every full moon upon puberty, for example. Alright, I can dig that. But not right now. "Maybe later, but not today."

Kakashi looked at me. "Alright, but remember, it would be a good idea so we can help you discover what you're capable of."

 _Quest Added: Future Proofing._

 _Get your blood tested._

"Never mind," I said. "Let's go."

"…okay," Kakashi said, clearly taken aback.

He led me off to the Konoha General Hospital and made an appointment. The reason Kakashi put for my visit? Check-up.

I guess they got the memo immediately because the receptionist went off to go find a doctor.

I wonder why they didn't test my blood when I was here the first time? Maybe they discarded the samples before I revealed I could get better from anything after a night's sleep? Nah, that's dumb. Maybe the Hokage has a policy in place not to store bloodline information unless explicitly given by consent to avoid ticking off the head of a future clan? I'm not actually considered an adult so that's suspect at best. Or maybe they did do tests and they just want additional samples now that my chakra control is at 100? Would that actually affect a change?

Theories abound.

But eventually the same doctor who treated me for rat mauling all those years ago came out, with a large smile on his face. "Daisuke, good to see you!"

He actually remembered my name? Huh. I don't remember his. _Awkward_.

"Hello Doctor," I bowed slightly. "You know why we're here?"

"Yes," He replied, eyes shining with excitement. "Let's not waste any time, I've got a room all ready for you."

Part of me wanted to ask if that rooms been ready for the past four years, but I held my tongue. We were led to a small office and he had me sit on one of those hospital beds, while he presented a needle.

Ugh, needles. I do _not_ like needles. I mean, I'm not afraid of them but they really annoy me.

The Doctor seemed to be waiting for something. I took that as a sign to roll up my short sleeve. "Go ahead, Doc."

"Alright, on the count of three," He said, that grin on his face seeming a little creepy now. "One…two…three."

Needle went in, I barely noticed. He drew some blood, stored it in a vial. "Alright, that's it. Do you have anything that hurts right now? Any pain on the inside of your chest?"

I assume he's talking about my coils. "No, no pain."

"Incredible," He breathed. "Anyway, this should be the only sample we'll need from you for a couple of years. You're entitled to all our findings and you can be assured that each record will be kept secret from Konoha's clans."

"Thank you," Makes sense and I'm grateful. I don't want to be singled out by clans wanting to make a quick allegiance, or to remove an early rival, if that's an actual problem in Konoha. There's also root. "Is there anyone else that can access the results?"

"Not besides the Hokage and myself," He replied. "But only because I'm your doctor."

"Fair enough," I replied, nodding. "Is that everything."

"Yup," He said. "Your sensei will sign the paperwork and you'll be released. Thank you for this opportunity."

 _Quest Complete: Future Proofing_

 _+150 EXP_.

Wait, that's it? Seriously? That…dang it! With a name like that, I thought it would be one of those prolonged quests with a huge payoff at the end! This sucks!

Because I only have 40 more EXP to level!

* * *

Later that night, after I cashed my pay vouchers and was sitting with a lot more money than I have ever held in this life before, a whopping 200 Ryo that was sitting underneath my bed in an old box, I was scheming.

If the chakra slide is a thing, then I'll logically get more EXP for getting it, have a new trick I can pull out in combat and have a new form of entertainment. Because that's always important.

I channeled the chakra into my right foot. I was careful in molding it because I didn't want to leave a hole in the floor and have to pay for its repair. I gently push against the floor and kick off lightly with my left foot and…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/50._

 _Perk Unlocked: Chakra Slide._

 _Slide across the floor with reckless abandon using chakra!_

 _+150 EXP._

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 _ **You have leveled up!**_

Yes!

Okay, since I haven't noticed _any_ problems with just specializing in one skill every time, I put all **23** skill points in **Taijutsu** , bringing it up to **80**. Then came the perks.

The usual list of perks was joined by _Silent Jutsus_ , which made saying the Jutsu's name unnecessary. I mean, saying the jutsu's name helped you focus on the jutsu itself as a form of fire discipline and was actually pretty useful for warning your allies if you were about to throw an explosive fireball into an area filled with friendlies as well as hostiles. This made that irrelevant in a fire discipline sense, which was good. It made me feel like an idiot, announcing the name of the Henge out of habit whenever I got up in the morning.

…that probably has less to do with jutsu and has more to do my own quirks but whatever.

However, during the bell test, I noticed something: I failed a _lot_ of perception checks. I bet that Kakashi was shadowing me the whole way and that unnerved me. Because as Ninja, we had to, and it pains me to say this, _Look beneath the underneath_. My inability to do so would be negated as I rose in levels, but right now? It was scary.

And I don't think an average Perception would help against Nin who were my level.

But...would _6_ perception help at all? Probably not. In...wait.

I met Iruka today.

Iruka had a chakra-based sonar that he used to gain a Sensor-rating. I have 100 Chakra control, so that's a no brainer.

 _AND_ I've got _5000_ _Ryo sitting under my bed_. Gear with improved stats is a thing here! There's probably some goggles or something which would increase my Perception! And other Specials. Because _I live in a game_.

I can't believe I almost wasted a perk like that.

I chose _Silent Jutsus_ as my perk here because _I love_ perks like that. No more shouting out jutsu at the top of my lungs. Or even at indoor voice levels. I could be, mercifully, silent.

I re-applied my henge and smiled in bliss at no longer having the urge to blurt out my technique.

The sun went down over an hour ago and it was clearly dark. I should probably work on that Ecolocation Jutsu and Tsunade's punch, but I can do that later. I just leveled up. I want to _play._

With that, I jumped out the window, head up to the ceiling and get ready to test out my new Jutsu. Because there is no way I'm wasting this beautiful night when I could be doing adrenaline pumping stunts.

* * *

 _Authors Notes: This chapter was a little boring but it started to set things up for later. I hope this was an improvement over the previous chapters in content and entertainment value, in any case. I'll update the character sheet when I have time and he'll have cracked Tsunade's punch by the time the next chapter rolls out._

 _As usual, I do appreciate all critique, good or bad, no matter how much panic I end up with afterwards. It's a good experience for me in any case and I really appreciate all the time you guys are putting into this fic._


	8. Things start to go Horribly Wrong

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

I slid down a clothes line with perfect balance, a big, stupid grin growing on my face and refused to leave. Up a wall, over the roof and down another line, this time upside down, careful not to whoop and holler as I did so because people were undoubtedly sleeping.

This was awesome. Pure, adrenaline-filled awesome and I hopped, skipped and jumped across the city, enjoying the views, the way the moonlight above played with the shadows on the buildings beneath. I was always a sucker for this kind of view and it was breathtaking tonight.

I ran up the legs of a water tower and summersaulted, landing on the top, and looked over Konoha. The Academy in the distance, with Mt. Rushm-I mean, Hokage Rock (totally not a rip off, I swear!) behind it. It looked utterly majestic, theoretical plagiarism notwithstanding. I took a deep exhale, breathing in that fresh night air.

Oh wow. I should've done this _much_ sooner.

I took a seat on the metal top of the tower and just took in the view.

Shame the mission office is closed. I could get a million things done while everyone else was still sleeping. Speaking of getting things done…

Let's see if I can crack Iruka's sensor jutsu. Some form of echolocation, likely derived from his name, which means Dolphin if I'm right. So, logically, I that would mean bunching up a ball of chakra like _so_ …and then releasing it in a pulse and getting sensory data from the echoes. Of course, I could not be able to understand what the jutsu is telling me. Or even worse, the chakra might not bounce back at all or _worst of all_ , it could wake up every shinobi within a mile radius and they'd be _pissed_.

Of course, they might not be able sense the chakra and it wouldn't do anything to anyone other than the most powerful shinobi…that doesn't help. Okay. So, echolocation jutsu later. Let's try the megaton punch.

…in a minute because this breeze feels good.

Okay, relaxation over.

I hopped down from the water tower, holding back a laugh as I took the distance easily, and ran down the side of the building. Now, where's something I can pound to dust that no-one will miss…?

As I ran out of the alleyway, I looked for something like a brick or a rock with a giddy smile on my face. Because exploding things was always fun. Exploding things with my fist was almost assuredly double the fun, right? Right.

Eventually, I found an alleyway that indeed had a cinderblock just lying around. So I set it up on a garbage can and…I faltered for just a second.

I had the right numbers for this jutsu, right? I think? 70 for Chakra Control, 70 for Taijutsu? Yeah. I have those. Better double check, don't want to break my hand again because that freaking _hurt_. I grabbed my black book and…yup. I had both of those. More than those, actually.

Okay.

Hoo.

Alright, here we go.

I cock my fist back, channel chakra into it and throw the punch-please don't hurt me-!

It shattered in a reasonably _bang_ , which caused various dogs around to start barking uncontrollably.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/70._

 _Taijutsu Check Success: 80/70._

 _Perk Unlocked: Tsunade Special_

 _Use your chakra to empower your Taijutsu with explosive punch!_

 _+500 EXP._

"Cha-ching," I muttered in synch with a grin. Now to get out of here before I get arrested for disturbing the peace or something.

1,890 EXP till level 7! Then I master Taijutsu and then start mastering another skill, probably Ninjutsu. Geeze, at this rate I'll be _ready_ when my first C-Rank goes down the hole. I mean, it'll still suck, I'm not completely delusional, but I'll be _actually prepared_ when that happens.

* * *

The next day, Kakashi had us all training with throwing our shuriken and kunai.

This, of course, would be the thing that makes me nervous because my aim, regrettably, still completely sucks. I bounced on my feet and was fingering the kunai in the holster on my waist.

Mostly, I was dreading Kakashi-sensei getting upset when my aim didn't get better through practice. Because that was the downside of my gaming the system; amazing Chakra Control and Punching skills, but by aim with thrown weapons, _a staple of shinobi combat_ , sucks.

Best part is that we were practicing on different stumps with no way to get in each other's way, so we could just go collect our shuriken and kunai when we ran out. So I took my time, trying to land each shuriken, focusing intently on the target and nothing but the target and…I managed to get every shuriken to actually hit the stump! Without a critical hit ensuring a bullseye!

It's kind of like what happens when you aim down the sights of a gun. Progress!

Then I went, collected my kunai and began again. Same result, but at least this time I didn't have to trudge into the unknown forest behind my target to collect my ammo.

"You know," Kakashi sensei appeared behind me, causing me to almost jump out of my skin. "If a Shinobi were standing still long enough for you to hit them, your teammates would have killed them already."

"Ah, Sensei!" I said, trying to calm down. "You startled me."

"I do that from time to time," Kakashi eye-smiled. "Now, why are you taking so long to throw your kunai?"

"I have zero skill with ranged weaponry," I said honestly.

"Hmm? You seem perfectly capable of holding and throwing your kunai just fine," Kakashi asked.

"That's very funny, Sensei," I replied deadpan. "I mean that my aim with them is terrible and that like this, I can actually hit the post and not send shuriken and kunai off into the forest."

"I know, I'm not an idiot," Kakashi replied with equal deadpan. "How did you pass the Academy test like that?"

"Pure luck."

"I see," Kakashi's eye went half lidded. "Well, that means you and Nichiren can be study buddies while you both work to improve your aim."

My eye twitched. "Hai, Sensei."

"What's wrong?" Kakashi's eye frowned.

"I've just never had talent with thrown weapons," I replied with a sigh. "Practicing's never helped."

"Well that's no reason to stop trying now," Kakashi replied with an irritating eye-smile.

"But Kakashi-sensei," I pressed on. "Wouldn't it make more sense to focus on honing my strengths rather than waste time bringing up a skill that I'm pretty sure I'll never use?"

"Under most circumstances, you'd be right," Kakashi nodded. "However, this is _shuriken_. One of the fundamental principles of Shinobi combat. This is something you'll never stop using, no matter how many jutsu you pick up, simply because of how valuable a non-chakra option is at range."

I deflated. I didn't need a check to tell me I failed a speech challenge. "Hai, Sensei."

"Cheer up," Kakashi said. "Someone as smart as you, you'll get it in no-time. You can help Nichiren in the meantime."

* * *

"Excuse me, Umino-sensei?" I said with a bow. I had approached the mission desk after training with a specific quest – because Naruto's address was classified for _some freaking reason_.

"Oh, you're Shimoda Daisuke, right?" Iruka answered with recognition. "One of Kakashi's students? What can I help you with?"

"Well see," I replied. "I'm actually friends with Uzumaki Naruto and I haven't see him in over a week. I was wondering if you knew where I could find him."

"Oh? And what makes you thing I'd know?" He asked with a frown.

"I heard he was in your class, Umino-sensei," I answered with a frown. "If that's not true, I apologize for bothering you."

"No, he is," Iruka held up a hand. "He has mentioned you a few times, but I had to be sure you were the Daisuke he was talking about."

"Yup," I smiled. "That's me!"

"Well, I do know where he is," Iruka replied. "He was pretty depressed about not graduating this year."

"I don't blame him, I hated the academy," I said, then froze, catching Iruka's frankly _dangerous_ look. "N-no offense, Umino-sensei. I'm sure you make up for it by sheer presence alone."

"That's _alright_ ," Iruka said, his eyebrow twitching and letting me know he was _not_ alright. "I was actually about to go see Naruto this evening. Maybe we should go together?"

"Yes, absolutely!" I loudly agreed. "Maybe we should bring food or something. Is there a place he likes?"

"Actually yes!" Iruka said with a too big grin. "There's a restaurant he likes. Have you ever been to _Ichiraku Ramen_?"

"No," I answered, secretly glad that was still a universal constant. "Do they do take out? I'm buying!"

"That sounds like a _great_ idea," Iruka nodded. "I'll meet you at the Academy gates at six, sound good?"

"See you at six, Umino-sensei," I said, high-tailing out of there as fast as politeness allowed.

Geeze, open mouth, insert foot. Way to make a good first impression, for crying out loud! Stupid 1, well, _4,_ Charisma. This sucks.

* * *

Well, Iruka said to meet him at 6 and although this isn't a quest for some freaking reason, this is important enough that I'm willing to let that slide. So, I take a seat outside the walls. It was 2:31pm, and I can only wait in 1-hour increments, so I wait for three hours.

5:31 rolls around and I wasn't disturbed for some reason. I stood up and checked my wallet. I had my 500 Ryo which I was willing to spend on Naruto's absurd dietary requirements and hopefully enough for Umino and I to have a bowl or two ourselves.

Hopefully.

After thirty minutes of alternating between checking my pip-book, messing with Chakra strings and getting bored, Iruka walked out the gates.

"Umino-sensei," I greeted, bowing to him.

"Shimoda," Iruka nodded in turn. "You don't need to be so formal."

"Sorry," I replied. "So, lead the way?"

"How much do you have on you?" Iruka asked.

"500 Ryo," I replied.

"That should be enough for about five bowls," Iruka nodded. "You do know that's not going to be enough for Naruto, right?"

"I was hoping this would get me something closer to 10," I mumbled, kicking the ground. "Like I said, I've never been there."

"Well, I appreciate you trying," Iruka answered, nodding. "Let's go, I'll pick up the other five."

* * *

I followed him down the street, around a couple bends and came to the bannered seats of _Ichiraku Ramen,_ both famous and _beloved_ in my old world for being one of the few to serve Naruto with neither malice or cheating him.

Frankly, I consider treating Naruto to ramen from here as a Pilgrimage and Rite of Passage for any Naruto fan to be done at least once a year. The only reason I wouldn't put it as more often is because it would be expensive as heck.

We entered the restaurant and…well what do you know! There was Naruto, sitting at the counter, eating a bowl. Ichiraku-san, who didn't look as big as I thought he would in real life, was standing behind the counter stirring a ramen pot and…Ayame? I think that's her name. Slender, hair color was a nice shade of brown, really nice face…she's _pretty_. She was also writing down Naruto's order.

"Well, that's saves time," I said, nodding to myself.

"Iruka-sensei! Daisuke!" Naruto's face lit up like a _Christmas tree_ he was so happy to see me. Or see Iruka. Actually, it might have been Iruka. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I haven't seen you in a week, so I wanted to find you," I said with a smile of my own. "See how you were doing; you know?"

"So he came to find me since he knew you were in my class," Iruka continued my story. "He had the idea to treat you to ramen, so I took him here and you apparently had the same idea. Imagine that."

"You're going to _treat me_ to _ramen_?" Naruto asked with a sparkle in his eye.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Cool! Daisuke, this is Ichiraku Teuchi-san and his daughter, Ichiraku Ayame-chan," Naruto introduced us to the two in turn and we exchanged polite bows. "They make the best ramen in the whole world!"

"Well, I guess I better have some, right?" I answered, taking a seat. "Just take it easy, alright? I didn't bring a lot."

"You got it!" Naruto replied happily. He gestured toward the menu. "I've already ordered, so…"

"Uhh…" I got lost in all the choices on the board. "I guess I'll take a Miso Ramen."

"That's my favorite!" Naruto chirped happily.

"And I'll have the Tonkatsu," Iruka ordered, sitting on Naruto's opposite side.

So, that was our evening. Sitting, eating, talking. The Ramen was delicious, not even _close_ to the instant ramen I was used too, loaded with real meat, hard-boiled eggs, amazing noodles and…yeah, Naruto wasn't exaggerating. This stuff was the best. Apparently the stand's been up for around twenty-two years, and Ayame's been working since she was _my_ age. 12, that is to say. Not my over-twenty age from my previous life.

…suddenly, my situation just became a lot more frustrating. Whatever, focus on the now.

"So, how's the Academy, Naruto?" I asked, in an attempt to _appease_ Iruka by showing support for scholarly pursuits.

"It's _boring_ ," Naruto half-whined. "That's why I'm trying to get out early."

Oh, I could feel Iruka's cold glare on my pitiful, mortal form. "Ah, it can't be that bad. You learn a lot from all the instructors there."

"But all they teach is useless, boring stuff," Naruto continued. "I still can't even do the Bunshin."

"…have you asked for help?" Oh _no_ …

"I _tried_ , but they just go into how I'm terrible with Chakra Control," Naruto sighed. "I get the feeling they don't really want to help me."

You know, I _had really hoped_ that the 'teachers at the academy sabotaging Naruto' thing was only fanon. I really, really did. Because I liked some of them. Sure, they couldn't help me in the slightest, but they were still cool to be around. But…well, there were a lot of teachers around. So maybe it wasn't one of mine? I hope?

"I'm sorry, man," I replied with a sad frown.

"So what is it that you don't get?" Iruka asked, not unkindly.

"I just don't know what they mean by 'Chakra Control' to begin with," Naruto grumbled before bringing a noodle-full of ramen to his mouth.

Did Naruto not even know or understand how Chakra Control applies to him? That can either be the fault of his terrible attention span or the fault of the teachers. It was probably something in the middle. But…ugghhh, that would explain his problems with the Bunshin. Though he did get the Henge and the Kawarimi as I understand it, both of which were Ninjutsu like the Bunshin.

"What do you do when you're trying the Bunshin?" Iruka asked with a frown.

Naruto swallowed his ramen and started to make hand seals. "Well, I make the seals like this, then I do the jutsu."

"No, I mean…how do you move the chakra when you 'do the jutsu'?" Iruka pressed.

I mean, the 'too much chakra' theory is debunked when you factor in that Naruto's main problem was with tree-walking: He kept slipping off, which was a sign of too _little_ chakra, not too much, which meant…but he did the Kawarimi and Henge so he knew _how_ to put his Chakra into a Jutsu so…maybe he didn't know _too_ put chakra into his jutsu this time.

Maybe?

"I dunno, you just make the hand-seals and the clones pop out, right?" Naruto shrugged with a frown.

"That's…do you do that with the Henge or the Kawarimi?" Iruka asked incredulously.

Wait.

If Naruto figures it out now, Mizuki won't be able to, or be _willing_ to, make Naruto his patsy in his scheme to steal the scroll for Orochimaru. If he doesn't do that, then Naruto doesn't learn his most effective technique: Kage Bunshin. A technique so awesome it shares two syllables with the word _Hokage_.

"No!" Naruto shook his head. "You have to shove your chakra out when you do those jutsu, don't you?"

"You have to do that with this one, too," Iruka replied incredulously before launching into a -barebones discussion of how moving chakra with the Bunshin was supposed to work.

What do I do? I don't have the charisma, _or_ the speech skill to derail this conversation from removing Naruto's most valuable weapon from his arsenal in the future! That he might not have gotten it anyway because butterflies is not important right now!

And if I _do_ derail it, Iruka won't forget that Naruto doesn't understand it correctly and just teach him later!

Wow, I _did_ nuke Canon on accident, didn't I?

"So like this?" Naruto had stood up while I wasn't paying attention, made the seals and _poof_! There appeared one of his sickly looking Bunshin. Seriously, mine looked like a statue, _that_ looked like a puddle of playdoh.

Oh, whew. Okay. Naruto's poor academic performance saves Canon. Alright.

Naruto groaned in frustration, kicking a chair and looking about ready to pull his hair out.

"Here let me help you," Iruka said, standing up. "Now, I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder and I want you to slowly go through the jutsu again, okay?"

"Okay Iruka-sensei," Naruto nodded.

Ayame and Teuchi were both watching in fascination as Naruto, slowly, went through the motions and Iruka, able to sense the chakra build up, _started walking him through the jutsu_.

Me? I was panicking. This…is really good in the short term but _horrible_ in the long term. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't stop it. I was bouncing on my seat, trying to avoid simply jumping off of my chair and telling them to hold off until next graduation.

But it wouldn't work.

4 Charisma. 28 Speech. There was no way this check wasn't going to be at least in the 50's.

"Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto called out and…next to him was a perfectly healthy Bunshin.

I was about to faint.

"Congratulations, Naruto!" Ayame cheered with large smile. "That's amazing!"

"Way to go, Naruto!" Teuchi congratulated with a wide smile of his own.

"Thanks Ayame-neechan," Naruto smiled wide, looking giddier than I've ever seen him. "Teuchi-san."

"I knew you could do it Naruto," Iruka smiled warmly.

"Nice work Naruto," I offered half-heartedly. "That's amazing."

"Hey thanks I couldn't do it," Naruto looked at me funny. "Daisuke, are you okay? You don't look so well."

"I'm sorry," I said, looking away. "I just started feeling a little unwell. But seriously, congratulations, Naruto."

I slapped the bundle of Ryo from my wallet on the counter. "Here's your cash, keep the change. I got to go lie down."

I stood up and went to leave.

"Daisuke…" Naruto sounded concerned.

"Congratulations, Naruto," I said with the biggest smile I could muster. "I'm really happy for you. I know you'll make an _excellent_ Hokage."

"Can you make it from here?" Iruka asked with concern.

"Yeah," I nodded. "It's actually not far from here. See you, everyone!"

With that, I took off. I ran up the side of the building and hopped all the way to the orphanage. I slid in my room and plopped on the bed.

 _What have I done?_

* * *

I went to sleep and didn't wake up. Even when I technically did wake up. I looked at my watch and…huh, I have to be at training in an hour.

Can I be the late one, for once? Probably won't hear the end of it for a while. If ever, especially after all the crap I've given Kakashi behind his back. Euggghhh.

I sat up in my bed and looked around my little room in the Orphanage. As a Genin, I believed I was expected to move out soon. I was going to have to look into that soon, because, as the pitter-patter of little feet out in the hall proved, this was getting too crowded for me.

I'll take care of that later.

Because now I needed to figure out how to get Naruto to learn the Shadow Clone.

 _Quest Added: Chasing Shadows_

 _Learn the Kage-Bunshin before Naruto graduates._

 _(Optional: Learn the Tajuu Kage Bunshin)._

…that worked. Okay. I'll need to raise my Ninjutsu as fast as possible. Which shouldn't be too hard, I can just max out Ninjutsu and use my 10 Int to be good for something for once. Or I could max out stealth and steal from the scroll directly. Either way, I'll get there before the end of the year _easy_.

Well, that made me feel better. Okay, now I just need to ask Kakashi if I can take D-Ranks on my own time and if yes, I'll feel a _lot_ better about myself. Not entirely better, but close.

So, I ran out the window and down toward the Academy, since we actually had a mission today, which helped, actually. Hard work had a way of calming a person down in my experience.

"Hey, look who's on time today!" Nichiren called with a smile at my approach.

"Yeah," I replied. "Imagine that."

Hisako's gaze narrowed. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, I don't really want to talk about it," I said, letting my head hang. "Stuff happened, that's all."

"A-are you sure?" Nichiren asked, sounding worried.

Inhale. Exhale. No snapping at my teammate for prying. "Yes, I'm sure."

They both looked at each other.

"Alright," Hisako frowned with concern. "But if you need to talk about it, we're here. That's what teams are for."

No. I really can't talk to you about it, can I? "Thanks Hisako."

I sat down in my usual spot and…didn't wait. I needed the time before the mission. Wallowing in the misery of my mistakes.

"And he's gone to dream land," Hisako sounded annoyed. "I wish he'd tell us how he does it."

I didn't move to dispel the illusion. Because I'm actually curious.

"Maybe it's another thing tied to his bloodline?" Nichiren said. "I mean, sleeps a part of it, so maybe it's a…lesser type of sleep? Maybe?"

Remarkably perceptive of him.

"Perfect chakra control, total recovery with a good night's sleep," Hisako listed, snark dripping from her every word. "What else does his bloodline cover, shooting fire from his eyes? The only thing he seems to be bad at is throwing, and I think that's because he doesn't really practice that."

"What makes you say that?" Nichiren asked, nervously.

"Because he's as good as he was at it when we all started the _academy_ ," She scathingly replied. "He hasn't improved at all."

Hey. I got better at it by _two whole points,_ thank you very much!

I mean, she's right, but still!

"Whatever, it doesn't matter," Hisako said, leaning against the wall. "We shouldn't be talking about him behind his back anyway."

Oh. Thanks, Hisako.

…I'm not sure I want to wait, now. That…huh. They react to the game mechanics. I wasn't expecting that for some reason. I mean, I knew the game didn't pause when I whipped out the pip-book but I didn't think they'd react to simply sitting motionless. For reasons unknown.

"I kind of wish he'd actually talk to us, though," Hisako grumbled.

"Do you think he'd stop waiting if he knew it made us uncomfortable?" Nichiren asked.

Ah, screw it.

"I might stop now that I know, actually," I said, looking up at them. "Sorry, I didn't realize how awkward that was."

They both looked at me in horror. Or embarrassment. Something in the middle.

"Did…did you hear all of that?" Hisako asked quietly.

"Afraid I did," I admitted. "I needed some time before the mission. Something waiting like that doesn't really give you."

"I'm sorry," She said. "I shouldn't have been talking about you behind your back."

"Don't worry about it," I waved it off. "I shouldn't have been checking out of reality like that to begin with. And you're right, by the way. I don't work on it."

"Why not?" Hisako asked with a frown.

"Honestly, slugging chunks of sharpened metal doesn't interest me that much," I shrugged. "No offense, I know that's something you're good at, but…it doesn't interest me. Punching people in the face does, so that's what I work on."

"That's…kind of dumb," Hisako's frown was joined by a frustrated glare.

"I know," I answered. "Kakashi-sensei gave me a lecture about it and I'll try to…practice and get better. I don't know if it'll help, though."

"It will," Hisako answered. "As long as you're actually training instead of goofing off, it will help."

That's what you think.

About an hour and a half later, Kakashi showed up.

"What's your excuse this time?" Hisako asked with a sigh.

"There was a traffic jam not too far from here," Kakashi eye-smiled sheepishly. "People packed from one end of the street to the other. Maneuvering through them was a pain."

He's a Jounin. But we don't care.

"Kakashi-sensei," I asked, standing up.

"Yes my cute little Genin?" He asked, still cheerful.

"Is it okay if I do d-ranks on my own?" I asked. "Like, when I have free-time, I mean?"

"Hmmm…and why do you want to do that?" Kakashi inquired, his hand cupped on his chin.

"Because I need to move out of the orphanage," I replied with a grim look. "To many new kids there."

"Ah well," Kakashi nodded, "I can see that. I'll have to get you authorized to take D-ranks on your own, but I believe you can do so. As long as it doesn't get in the way of your training."

Training doesn't help me anyway. "Yes, Kakashi-sensei."

* * *

 _Quest Completed: D-rank…_

 _Quest Completed: D-rank…_

 _Quest Completed: D-rank…_

 _Quest Completed: D-rank…_

 _Quest Completed: D-rank…_

 _+750 EXP._

1140 EXP until level.

Well, doing D-ranks has been exciting. Well, the rewards were. I was now sitting on _100,500_ Ryo and with that, instead of doing another D-rank when we broke up, it was time for some shopping.

So, I went into a shop named _'Bullseye Weapons and Armory'_. Before I graduated, I had the privilege of looking inside from the windows, and they seemed to have everything. So, when I actually went inside, it was everything I thought it was _and more_.

Oh, everything seemed to glow in glorious awesome. If I let my mouth hang out, I would've been salivating. As I passed the tables and wall-mounted shelves loaded with armor, little notifications popped up, letting me know the various articles stats as well as their prices.

"Can I help you?" I looked up and at the counter was _Tenten_.

Alright, I'm giving this place my business. Anyone who uses _that_ many weapons clearly knew their stuff.

"I'm just browsing," I replied with a cheerful nod. "You've got quite the selection here."

"Thank you," She said with a polite smile. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I most certainly will," I went back to browsing.

I found a pair of gloves that give a **Damage Reduction** of **5** when worn together. They were made of blue fabric and were plated both on the forearms and on the back of the hand. The thing that attracted me to them, however, was the **Strength Bonus** of **2.** They also cost _11,000 RYO_ but I had more than enough. Not really needing to rest allowed for that.

So, I put them in a basket, having noted the _please put all items in one of our complementary basket while shopping_ sign that was out. I wonder if they dealt with thieves often. It was a village of Ninja, so…probably, if I had to be honest.

Next, I went through the Pants. I found something that gave a **Damage Reduction** of **10** and an **Endurance Bonus** of **1**. It was a pair with kneepads woven into the fabric. I'll take it. Cost _22,000_ Ryo. Again, had more than enough. 67.5k, to be specific, though I did need to be careful.

I found a pair of boots, plated with shin and toe-guards. **Damage Reduction** of **5** once again, but they also came with an **Agility Bonus** of **2**. _11,500_ for those. Bought.

With those in my basket, I noticed on the far wall they had a rack dedicated to goggles. Not glasses, goggles. Which made sense, since glasses would be in a civilian store. So, I walked over and checked over the various goggles.

I found a pair, 'specially padded for comfort' it said. They were separate lenses and looked fairly good. The thing that grabbed my attention? No **DR** but they _did_ have a **Perception Bonus** of **3**. Bought. Need perception. Badly. It was also the most expensive set of goggles in the store, clocking in at _20,000 Ryo._

Bought.

Then, I walked around and…well, I needed a wire-mesh shirt. They provided a lot of protection and flexibility for what they were. So, I looked around and found one that was my size. **10 DR**. _25,500 Ryo_. Could be worn under my other stuff. Bought.

Now…was there an over piece I could buy right now? Looking at how much they were, the least expensive being _25,000_ Ryo, the answer was no. That was okay, I had plenty now, and the rest could hopefully serve as rent and a security deposit so I could finally stop mooching off of Kumiko-Obasan.

Perfect plan.

I walked up to the counter and presented my basket.

Tenten looked at it with care. "Is that all? You're not restocking any Kunai?"

"I have some kunai," I replied with a shrug. "I don't need to restock just yet. I'll come here when I need to, though."

"Alright then," Tenten nodded and began ringing me up. "That'll be 78,500 Ryo."

I dug deep into my wallet and pulled out the appropriate funds: Seven 10k notes and 5 One-hundred notes. "Here you go."

She took the money, rung me up with a nod and handed me my stuff in a couple bags. "There you go."

"Thank you," I said with a smile. "By the way, what was your name?"

"Higurashi Tenten," She replied with a small bow. "My parents own the store. Yours?"

"Shimoda Daisuke," I introduced myself with my own little bow. I contemplated telling her I was on Kakashi's team. Then decided against it. "It was nice to meet you."

"You as well," She said as I turned to leave. "Have a good day."

* * *

Looking for an apartment was actually pretty simple, because Kakashi-sensei actually gave me a recommendation on a complex and it was hard to turn down that kind of endorsement.

The agreement was signed, the first month's rent and security deposit were _21,000_ Ryo combined and I suddenly had my own apartment. It was a nice, spacious one, actually. Had a living room and kitchen in one room, fold up Futon in the bedroom and a separate bathroom. I got a good deal. Rent was going to be _10,000_ a month, which I think is actually rather generous, thinking back to my old life.

So, I had _1000_ Ryo which to play around with and the last thing to do was to say goodbye to Obaasan. So, I headed back to the Orphanage.

You know, I suddenly feel terrible for not telling her sooner. But…things have happened and now I must live with the consequences.

I found the Matron back in the kitchen, making a large pot of ramen and…geeze, I feel awkward, now. Okay, just play it cool. You're just telling the one person who raised you and protected you in a whole new world that you're finally leaving the roost. No pressure.

"Obaasan?" I inquired nervously.

"Hmmm?" She turned around. When she saw me, her eyes lit up. "Ah, Daisuke. Good evening, take a seat."

"I…uh, I have something to tell you," I said.

"You can tell me from the chair," She quipped. "Now sit."

I sat down. "I…I've decided that it's time that I move out."

She stopped in her tracks, and turned back around. "Well. I can't say I'm surprised. A Shinobi needs his own home, after all. Have you decided where you're going to live?"

"My Sensei recommended a complex," I explained, drumming my fingers on the table. "The rent and security deposit have already been paid for."

She smiled kindly. "My, my. You've still got that wonderful initiative. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you Obaasan," I said, feeling a weight come off my chest. "I thought you'd have been mad I decided this without talking to you."

"Mad? No," She said. "A little sad, but I'm not mad. Or even that surprised. You were never really comfortable here."

I gave a confused hum.

"The other kids, except for Uzumaki, usually avoided you," The Matron shook her head as she stirred the pot. I winced at the mention of Naruto. "I couldn't understand it. Sure, you looked a little…odd, but you were a very nice child. Remarkably easy to raise too, I might add."

"Thank you?"

"But don't worry," She said, still smiling. "No matter what happens, you still have a home here. We still owe you for killing those rats."

"Thank you," Repeating myself. "For raising all of us. You know, I saw how you…tried, to show Naruto the same kindness you showed all of us. Even while everyone else wished he didn't exist for some reason."

"I wish I could've done more for him," She shook her head again. "But it's a good thing he left when he did. Things might've reached a boiling point."

"What do you mean?" I asked with tilted head.

"Oh, it doesn't matter anymore," She said with a smile and a laugh. "Listen to an old woman doddle. This deserves celebration! What would you like? Dango? Mochi?"

"Yes. Yes to all of that."

* * *

The next day, I was in a phenomenally good mood. I was walking from my new apartment to the area right outside the Academy where we waited for D-Rank missions. I was wearing my new boots and pants. A long-sleeved blue shirt that went over the mesh, going really well with the accessories that I bought yesterday.

I'm feeling good, even counting that I have to ignore the quest sitting in the pip-book in order to do so. Anyway, I'm humming a tune quite happily as I just avoided skipping to the meeting place. I was the first one there, as usual.

Boy, having my own place felt good. I felt like an _adult_ now, even though I'm technically twelve.

I just kept humming and whistling tunes as they came.

"You seem awfully happy," Hisako awkwardly smiled at me with a half wave. She examined my new gear-pieces with interest "Where did you get all of that gear?"

"I got this at _Bullseye's Weapons and Armor_ ," I said, spreading my arms to allow for a better look. "And I got my own apartment yesterday. So I think I might be the happiest Genin in Konoha right now."

"The gear looks functional," Hisako nodded with approval. "Looks good on you. I like it."

"Thank you!"

"Wow, that gear makes you look different," Nichiren said as he walked up. "In a good way, but still."

"Yeah, I guess it might take some getting used to," I scratched the back of my head. "It's good though. I felt like I might need the extra protection, so I should get used to wearing this as fast as possible."

"You seem happier," Nichiren noted. "Something good happen?"

"I got my own apartment yesterday," I answered with a grin. "Moving out of the orphanage was _fulfilling_."

"Ah, that's awesome!" Nichiren said with a fairly large smile for him. "Congrats!"

"Congratulations," Hisako offered.

After an hour, Kakashi-sensei walked up the path. "You look different."

"Like the gear?" I asked with a grin.

"Meh, it looks functional enough," He shrugged. I felt like a bucket of ice water washed over me. "It looks useful for when you start doing C-ranks."

"Which will be?" Hisako asked eagerly.

"Eh, soon. I don't think you're quite ready yet," Kakashi replied.

Hisako's head drooped in despair.

Normally, I would be bored myself with the constant D-ranks, but I'm just happy I have a steady source of EXP now.

"Besides, I think Daisuke's heart might be broken if we stopped doing D-ranks," Kakashi eye-smiled, ruffling my hair as he walked past.

"Hey!" I mock-pouted at the barb. "It's not like we'll be able to savor doing D-ranks forever! Might as well savor it while we can, right?"

Kakashi actually stopped mid-step. "Too true, Daisuke. Too true."

He led us into the mission office and collected a mission scroll from an Iruka who spared an odd glance at me behind Kakashi's back. I shrugged in response, to Nichiren and Hisako's confusion.

Kakashi pocketed the scroll. We followed him out of the office.

"This mission's a little different than anything we've done in the past," Kakashi told us when we got outside. "It's still a D-rank, though."

"How's it different?" Nichiren asked, curiosity shining behind his glasses.

"As long as I'm not pulling weeds or painting anything, I don't really care," Hisako said, twirling a kunai by the ring at the end.

"Well, the mission involves an old house by the village wall," Kakashi explained. "It's owned by a fairly wealthy merchant, who is selling it back to Konoha and leaving the village to live elsewhere. He's hired us to give the house a deep cleaning."

I nodded. Alright, this is a pretty good change in the routine. "What kind of deep cleaning? Pest control or washing the windows?"

"A little bit of both," Kakashi said. "Apparently, he's got this rat problem in the basement and a lot of the rooms haven't been used since his family have moved out. So that's our mission. We'll go more over plans when we get there. Are we clear?"

"You got it!" Nichiren said cheerfully.

"Understood," Hisako replied, her sounding somewhat enthusiastic.

"I can handle a rat problem," I smirked, remembering those 'roided-up rats like it was yesterday.

 _Quest Accepted: Upon a Midnight Darkly_

 _Go to the Merchant's House_.

…what?

That's not a D-rank Radiant quest.

That's its own quest. That carries the horrific implication that for the first time in Naruto history, a _D-rank_ might be the thing that goes horribly, horribly wrong. It has an ominous name and everything! But…it's in Konoha's walls, right? Right! So it can't go _that_ badly, can it?

I mean, it could mean anything. More 'roided-up rats, other types of animals…it could be a haunted house or infiltrated by enemy Nin, there is probably a dark secret, it could be a surprise crossover with _H.P Lovecraft_ …

"Daisuke?" Kakashi asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah!" I said, my voice cracking with nerves. "Why do you ask?"

"You look like you've just seen a ghost," Kakashi answered, seemingly totally calm.

"No, no," I said laughing it off. "I didn't see a ghost. I just got really nervous for some reason. Hehehe…"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kakashi asked with a neutral tone. "You don't need to worry. It's just an old house. I'm sure whatever haunted house stories you might have heard are complete fiction."

"Yeah," I nodded vigorously. "Yeah, you're right. There's no such things as ghosts. Besides, we're in Konoha's walls."

I was _not_ dumb enough to ask what could go wrong. Because there were thousands of things that could go wrong.

"Yeah, we'll be fine," Nichiren nodded with a smile. "Nothing could go wrong."

…

#$%## % $*&%#**&%!* #% $#!...

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Real author's notes, I apologize it's taken so long to get you guys up to speed. I've been in a pretty bad place until recently. That said, I do hope everyone enjoys this chapter.  
_

 _The real pain, though? Remembering where to put the page breaks. It's terrible._

 _Until next time._

 _~Fulcon_


	9. Cleansing the Leaf

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

 _Author's Note: This chapter is written to be sort of confusing. Please wait for the next chapter to explain things more thoroughly. Thank you._

* * *

Houses in Konoha were kind of odd, if I were honest with myself. Usually, they were either rectangular, cylindrical or were mixed by standing on top of each other like some weird _Tower of Hanoi_ puzzle.

The quest site in particular was a three-story house, with duo rectangular stories sitting beneath a cylindrical floor. It was a fairly large house, clearly a mansion, though it was sequestered between buildings. Guess even the fairly rich can't get an inch of yard in a city Konoha.

Still, I was nervous. The shadows in the windows seemed to stretch out unnaturally in the corner of my eye, like ports into the realm of nightmares. Or perhaps to the realm of jump scares. I don't know which would be worse.

As we walked up to the door, Kakashi-sensei gave a semi-serious lecture as to why it was a terrible thing to declare that nothing could possibly go wrong. "The moment someone says that nothing could go wrong, the entire universe stands up, takes note and begins plotting to give you the most profound answer you have ever heard. It usually involved a body-count."

"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei," Nichiren seemed more confused than anything. "I didn't think that was a real thing. I mean, I've seen a couple movies where that was a thing, but I thought it was just something the writers would do to ironically foreshadow something bad happening later."

Wait, they have movies here? Oh yeah, they have movies here! Huh. I wonder how that works? Seals? Or is this world really an 'after the end' scenario? I haven't been able to tell so far. Probably should have read Shippuden, that would have answered that question. Probably.

Ah, well. Questions for later. I have a house to get devoured by.

"Logically, you would be right," Kakashi nodded. "However, some Shinobi, like Daisuke for instance, believe that asking that statement is either cursing future endeavors in the foreseeable future or an omen to signify something going wrong. There is no middle ground."

"I see," Nichiren frowned.

"So what do _you_ think, Kakashi-sensei?" Hisako asked with a smile.

"I think," Kakashi answered levelly. "That while it sounds is superstitious nonsense, I've heard a lot of stories about someone saying something like that on a mission, then that mission going horribly wrong. So it would be a good idea to keep questions like that to yourself as you advance in your career, Nichiren. A lot of people believe in the 'what can go wrong?' curse."

"Hai, Sensei," Nichiren _still_ looked confused and a little annoyed. Well, I know for a _fact_ that you will be enlightened after this mission, sir!

"I still don't believe it," Hisako replied, looking up at the mansion. "Superstitions are just that: Superstitions. I don't think they have any actual merit in real life."

So will you.

"That's up to you," Kakashi shrugged, knocking on the door. "But ignore your sensei's advice at your own peril."

The door opened and standing in the frame was a man in formal attire, dark hair tied in a ponytail. His equally soulless, dark eyes swept over everyone to look for souls to-okay, that's complete exaggeration on my part. Must be the nerves.

"Ah hello," He said, bending into a perfect 90-degree bow. "You must be the Genin-team. I'm Nagahama Susumu, servant to Nakata Yasukazu."

"Good to meet you," Kakashi replied easily. "I'm Hatake Kakashi, and these are my students, Nakamura Nichiren, Shimoda Daisuke and Yamada Hisako."

We bowed and gave greetings in turn. He waved us inside and we followed him.

You know, that's funny how their names sound similar. Both family names start with an N and end with an A and the given names have a 'Su' syllable. Hehe, that's actually really funny.

He led us into the main room. The house was almost entirely empty, everything having been moved out to the next location already. The only thing left was a pack of cleaning supplies which were gathered in the center. Since I've moved multiple times myself in my past life, I was envious at how they most likely used storage scrolls to move everything.

Wait. _Storage Scrolls_.

Well, after this mission, I've got my next project, right next to explosive notes.

Assuming I don't get devoured by the cosmic horror around here, that is.

"Everything you'll need is right here," Susumu said, gesturing to the assorted cleaning supplies. "Nakata-sama has requested that you clean all the windows and window sills up in the high places, deal with the rats in the basement and clean the Master Bathroom."

"You need to contract a Genin-team to clean the Master Bathroom?" Hisako asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Indeed we do," Susumu replied with the faintest traces of a smirk. "Konoha has the finest Shinobi in the elemental countries. I'm sure you'll all do a fantastic job."

"Thank you, Susumu," Kakashi said. "Is there anything else."

"There is one other thing," Susumu answered. "Nakata-sama has requested that I purchase some things for him while I remain here. Please perform your duties while I'm gone and I will be back before the hour is up."

Uh-huh. He's leaving so he won't get caught in the crossfire while we're killing C'thulhu. _That fiend!_

Okay, so it's not just the fact that it's a supposed D-rank has its own named quest that's got me freaked out. It's the name. I'm mostly sure 'Upon a Midnight Darkly' is a reference to Edgar Allen Poe's old poem, _The Raven_. I don't remember the exact details, but I believe it was about a man whose soul was trapped beneath a raven's shadow.

That terrifies me because I've died once and I'm taking that as more-or-less objective proof that I have a soul and that it can get trapped, messed with, mangled or _eaten_. I don't wanna lose my soul, I like it too much!

"Have a pleasant trip, Nagahama-san," Kakashi bid him farewell as he left. Then he turned to us. Well, to Hisako and Nichiren. "Well, since none of you can perform Suiton jutsu, I will take care of the windows. Daisuke has experience with pest control, so he'll take care of the rats. That leaves the Master Bathroom for Hisako and Nichiren."

 _Quest Updated: Upon a Midnight Darkly._

 _Completed: Go to the Merchant's House_

 _Clear the Basement of Rats._

"Oh come on!" Hisako had this hilarious, disgusted look on her face that almost made me snicker. "Do we really need to clean the bathroom?"

"Yes," Kakashi replied. "Because we were hired to clean the house and the bathroom is part of the house."

"Sounds completely logical," I added with a sagely nod.

"Oh shut up Daisuke," Hisako grumbled. "You wouldn't be saying that if you had to clean the toilet."

"Probably not," I agreed with another sagely nod of greater quality.

Basement's probably where the problem is, so I can hopefully take care of it quickly before anything truly problematic happens. I mean, it's not like this low-level (hopefully) quest can take out Sharingan Kakashi and then let me deal with the problem, right? That would be idiotically poor game design.

Granted, this isn't really the game I like to fashion this as.

"So, can we watch you do Suiton Jutsu before we enter no-man's land?" Nichiren asked with an eager smile. "Please?"

Kakashi hummed and thought it over. "Well, I guess you've all been reasonably well behaved over the past couple of weeks. So, sure. You can watch me clean the windows."

This should be good.

Kakashi handed us each one of the wooden pales sitting on the floor. "Go fill these up with water for me."

"Hai Sensei," We marched over to the kitchen and filled up the buckets at the kitchen sink. We brought them back, and at his direction filled them with soap. When the buckets were appropriately frothy and bubbly, we stood back.

Kakashi flipped through the hand seals too fast for me to track on purpose, I'm sure of it. "Suiton: Hiko Warupuru no Jutsu."

The soapy water rose from the buckets, swirling in the air like flying rings. On the east wall, three windows stretched from the floor to the roof of the second story and the flying whirlpools flew onto them, moving up and down the glass panes swiftly, bringing imminent doom to dust and smudge and leaving only sparkling clarity in their wake.

It was the most mundanely awesome thing I've ever seen.

When the windows on the walls were perfect, the flying water-rings lifted off of them and went up to the single, window port sitting above the middle window. It went in, spun around like a flushing toilet and then rings returned to the buckets, now visibly dirtier than before.

"Cool," I said, partially certain I was salivating.

"Thank you," Kakashi said, pulling out his book. "I'll get the rest later. Now go do your jobs."

Yes, I'm going down into the lair of some horrific beast or whatever by myself at my level. Sure.

"Could you come down there with me?" I asked sensei.

"If there's a problem, I'll be down there in a flash," Kakashi replied without even looking up from his book. "I promise nothing will happen to you."

"I just have this really bad feeling about what's down there," I pressed on. "I mean, I don't feel right about this mission in general, especially since Nichiren jinxed us and I don't want to get devoured by some soul-eating monstrosity."

Kakashi sighed and turned a page. "It's just a basement. You're not scouting the other side of a mountain range or some faraway place. I can keep an eye on _all of you_ from here, I _promise_."

"Okay," I sighed. Stupid 4 Charisma.

I marched to the basement door and…you know what? Knowing if I failed checks or whatever would be pretty useful right now. I mean, if I failed a check, I'd still know that I failed and that's got to be useful, right?

I whipped out my black book, and switched the option from _EXP_ to _All_. With that, I was ready to go down to the basement.

Inhale. Exhale.

The wooden stairs looked really creaky, so I walked along the wall down the stairs. No need to make any undue noise.

The cellar was just a large, concrete room, with several small windows letting in light from the upper edges of the walls. I could see spots of dirt outlining where shelves had sat for years. Possibly, they held sake but I don't if you are supposed to age sake like that. I was never a drinker…anyway.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

 _+15 EXP_.

1,125 until level 7.

Nice to see the goggles are putting in work. I saw several holes in the walls, and a little black blur zip its way back into its home. Alright, so far so good. No giant things which can drop me from 100 to 0 in the blink of an eye. I like this.

I dropped to the floor with a surprising amount of grace. Right, the boots. Okay, I feel a little bit better about my chances. My gear is helping a surprising amount. Actually, now that I think about it, this might be a good time to learn Iruka's Sonar Jutsu. See how many rats and other things are squirming around the walls.

So, I tucked my chakra into a ball and after some thinking and a _couple_ of theoretical hand seals, snake and ram, specifically to try to tell the chakra to bounce back and come to me and _release_.

My chakra went out…and didn't come back.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/30._

 _Ninjutsu Check Fail: 20/40._

Well, I guess that makes sense. I'd need a better handle on how hand seals affect jutsu. I picked Ram and Snake specifically because in the Zodiac those two symbolize being intuitive, which is what I was trying to do here: Intuit the location of the rats for their extermination.

Oh, yeah. I figured out a while ago that the Hand Seals are based on the Chinese Zodiac (or just the Zodiac, in this world). Knowing the Zodiac can help determine what effect Seals have on jutsu. I think. Though if my skill isn't enough, it isn't enough.

I'm sad.

"Uh, Daisuke?" Kakashi was suddenly standing behind me. "What did you just do?"

Just barely suppressing the jump when my sensei appeared right behind me. "Oh. Hey, Kakashi! I just had an idea for a jutsu that would let me find the rats."

Kakashi blinked. "Interesting. What did it do?"

"Well, in theory, the jutsu would send out a wave of chakra that would bounce back to me when it hits something, letting me know where it is," I said quickly.

"In theory, huh?" Kakashi asked, with a thoughtful nod. "I take it that it didn't work."

"It did not," I replied. "I'm not skilled enough at Ninjutsu."

Kakashi hummed to himself. "Well after this mission, I'm sure if you train, you'll get it eventually."

"Thanks Sensei," I replied, letting my head sink to hide my annoyance. After this mission implies that I won't get a game over. Which I undoubtedly will if I'm not careful. "Are you sure you don't want-?"

But he was gone.

 _Charisma Check Fail: 4/5._

Thanks, game.

With that, I got to work. I strode over to the nearest mouse hole and fed chakra strings inside. When I felt my chakra come in contact the rat, I violently jerked the things neck up, snapping it and ending its pathetic life.

I hate rats.

…

No EXP? Oh, fine. I guess a non-beefed up rat just isn't worth it.

I went to each of the others in sequence to repeat the same process. Bringing the trap to them is so much more efficient than just waiti-EW, RAT BABIES! KILL THEM KILL THEM KILL THEM!

Ahem.

A shadow fell over me and I nearly jumped out of my skin, rapidly twisting around with chakra in my fists, elbows, knees and feet, ready to _kill someone_.

Turns out, it was just a bird which landed in behind one of the windows and was casting a long shadow.

"Hehe," I said, relaxing with trembling limbs. "Hi."

Upon closer examination, I could see that the bird was, actually a raven.

Like in the poem.

That makes the bird the harbinger of doom.

Ah, crap.

 _Quest Update: Upon a Midnight Darkly_

 _Completed: Clear the Basement of Rats._

Well, I'm going to go with Kakashi and stick with him for the rest of this quest. Maybe it'll turn into one of those 'reverse escort' mission type deals, like when you accompanied Liberty Prime in Fallout 3 to destroy the Enclave. Oh, that was one of the best moments of my gaming career. Watching a giant robot laser down all my foes before me was hilarious.

I noticed the bird fly away.

Well, time to go.

The ground shook beneath me and a sound like thunder pierced through the walls. My ears were ringing, the light pouring from the windows was blinding and I was unable to keep my balance through the sensory overload.

What just happened?

Oh, ow. My head hurts. Crippled? No. Just hurts.

Is everyone upstairs okay?

I ran up the stairs as fast as I could, only to find my path blocked by a collapsed wall. A Tsunade punch sent it flying in a rain-storm of pebbles. As the wind hit my face and I looked up at the towering, dark shape above me, my skin ran cold.

 _No…_

The house above me no longer existed as it had been reduced to ash and dust. Towering above me was a giant mushroom cloud, the ash and smoke intermixed with the fire of the detonation to provide a scene that would haunt my nightmares for years to come, I was sure of it.

The sky was being blacked out by the soot, only the barest of sunlight eking through the clouds.

I started to laugh. A sad, maniacal laugh as I realized that Kakashi, Nichiren and Hisako were all dead because Konoha just got hit with a nuclear warhead from out of nowhere. Tears were falling from my eyes, even as I heard a Geiger counter going insane from standing even this close to a bomb site.

I needed to get out of here.

So I ran. I ran from the explosion, needing to seek shelter from the radiation.

I never thought Fallout would start to bleed into Naruto like this.

This.

I…just-just _this._

This was a cruel joke.

I jumped up walls and across rooftops, running with everything I had to _get away_. I didn't want to end up dead. Or a ghoul, if that was even possible in this universe.

Then I saw him, in his classic orange track suit. Down on the road, on his hands and knees, trying to get away.

Naruto.

I dropped down and was immediately by his side.

"Naruto!" I shouted, rushing to his side. "D-don't worry! I'm going to get you out of here!"

Naruto's hair was starting to fall out and his flesh was red and practically bubbling and swelling even as new skin and muscle grew from the Kyuubi to regenerate what he lost. His face was sagging horribly and his eyes…his eyes looked haunted. "Daisuke?"

"I'm here, buddy!" I shouted, picking him up in a bridal carry. Got to get him away from the rads. _Got to get him away_. "I'm going to get you out of here."

The whites of his eyes were starting to darken. "You're here…"

"Of course I am!" I shouted at him. I coughed at the inhale full of smoke.

"…thank you," Naruto said, closing his eyes. His head lolled back and I felt his body go limp.

…no.

No, no, no.

This…you can't.

You can't do this.

This…why?

He's the main character!

 _ **You can't kill the main character!**_

Why?

Then I heard the sound of a speaker activating, a sound I haven't heard in _so long_. I looked up and saw…a giant blimp. An air-ship, with the bottom rigging detaching Vertibirds; helicopters with twin sets of blades at the end of their wings. They started to fly around Konoha.

That…that is the _Prydwen_.

 _"People of Konoha,"_ The loud speaker sounded down to those on the ground. _"Lay down your weapons and surrender immediately, or we will strike again."_

I…they…but…I…

 _"We are,_ " The voice on the speaker continued. _"The Brotherhood of Steel._ "

 _…How?_

No seriously. How? I think I would've heard about or _seen_ a dimensional portal in the sky open and it would have had to have been up there for a while if they were able to gain at least enough intel to know what we were called.

What kind of surveillance equipment were they using, in order to gain that kind of knowledge? Have they figure out orbital satellites? I wonder…it doesn't matter.

I looked back down at Naruto and gently closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, my friend."

The whistle of bullets ripping into the air around me. The Vertibirds were raining death on us. Crap. Alright, we can deal with this.

I ducked into a dumpster to hide from the gunners. When they run out of ammo, or even before then, they'll put boots on the ground and I can pulp their brains worse than a raider with a power fist. Oh, it'll be like getting the bloody mess perk and it'll be _awesome_.

The wind picked up inexplicably and one of the birds descended. Knights in standard armor, which were basically plates worn over a standard uniform, wielding laser rifles and a Paladin, decked out in full T-60 Power Armor which in any other circumstance would be glorious to behold in real life. He was carrying a mini-gun and was already starting to spin it up.

And a 1, and a 2, and a BLOODY VENGENCE UPON YEEEE!

I jumped out of my dumpster and right before they even saw me, my hand went through metal and ceramic plating, hitting one of their grunts on the side of the head. My hand felt the warm mush of their brains and yeah. This man was dead.

I wonder, should I pulp Elder Maxon's head, assuming that's him up in the Prydwen, or mount it on a pike?

The Paladin turned to face me, whirling minigun blaring all the way-ultimate test, go!

I jumped over the spinning barrels and _Tsunade Special_ 'd my legs right through his torso. He _exploded_. It was glorious. So, wonderfully glorious. I landed on my hands and twisted around like a break dancer to jump up and punch another Kni- _OW!_

 _-35 HP._

Wow. Laser's hurt.

I caught a blast right in the arm, colliding with the Knight I jumped after and we both went down to the ground. I recovered first, and planted a fist through his face to the ground. I jumped over the second laser I knew was coming, twisted in the air and jumped at the final knight, fist in his throat, leaving the head and body to fall to the ground separately.

In the back of my mind, I knew I should feel disgusted at this. Even if it was in defense of my village _and what I signed up for_ , I'd never killed anyone before. But with the nuclear ash in the sky, my longtime friend dead in a horrible way and how they attacked us without any provocation, _I'm feelin' pretty good right now_.

I wonder if I can-what the heck is that?

The ground shook to the rhythm of giant foot prints. The creak of metal that accompanied each step began to weigh on me as I came to the most horrid realization I've had in a while. I looked up and standing a block over, towering over the building in Konoha and against the ashen sky was the giant robot, _Liberty Prime._

Oh no.

"Red Chinese internment camp detected," The Robot's voice boomed. " _Weapons hot!_ "

 _IT'S NOT ANCHORAGE YOU STUPID ROBOT!_

I ran in the opposite direction, keeping my eye on the thing as it took a nuclear warhead out of its _backpack_ and chucked it at _Hokage Rock_. Another nuclear explosion occurred, annihilating every face and the installation beneath it.

That's where we would've kept our civilians.

That's probably where we _did_ keep our civilians.

 _"_ Democracy is non-negotiable!" The Robot's voice boomed, soon accompanied by giant laser.

I came to another Vertibird, this one having already been jumped on by what looked like a Chunin. The last Knight alive was blasting at him with his laser gun, but the Chunin dodged around it easily, just about to sink the kunai he had right into the Brotherhood nut-jobs neck.

When the Knight swiftly dodged to the side and planted the Rifle's gun stock right in the Chunin's neck, sending him sprawling on the ground, dead.

…

… _BULL$## %%#._

 _Perception Check Failed: 8/10._

 _Perception Check Failed: 8/9._

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

How did I not notice this before! I'm just in a Genjutsu! One designed to pull things from my subconscious and throw them at me in the form of awful nightmares. I _am such. An idiot._

I brought my hands together. It's time to end this and to kill a butler.

The imaginary Knight brought his laser rifle to bear on me.

" _Kai!_ "

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Again, this chapter is semi-confusing. Thanks for your patience, everyone.  
_


	10. Genius Loci

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

The world snapped from the war-torn nuclear wasteland that was imaginary Konoha. I was lying on the floor and it felt like my limbs were starting to wake up. I wasn't lying on the floor in the basement, though. I was in what looked like a concrete box, about a head taller than me and illuminated in the red light of seals scrawled all over the walls.

I stood up quickly, as I felt my perception start to bleed back into the shadow of the mushroom cloud. If I had to guess what happened, it's that I fell in or was swallowed by this cell, which then put me in a Genjutsu for whatever reason.

Nowhere to go but up.

I jumped up the wall and punched the roof, sending my fist up into open air. Progress! But then I felt the dirt around my fist start to reform, so punch, punch, punch! I felt like a mole, the way I crawled out of the cell and onto the basement floor, and used a chakra slide to finish pulling myself out even as the ground itself moved to try to force me back in.

Chakra-slide is awesome.

 _Quest Updated: Upon a Midnight Darkly._

 _Re-unite with your team._

That said, I jumped to the roof immediately as the ground didn't stop wanting to devour me simply because I escaped from the cell, the concrete trickling above my feet and sucking me down. Looking around, the entire basement was coated in red, glowing seals.

 _This entire house is just a giant network of seals._

Now the question is who set them off? And why?

The raven points to Itachi, but there's no conceivable reason for him to want to Genjutsu me and…didn't he use _crows_? Not ravens?

Something else is at work here.

The lights from the window wells had become suppressed, reaching only a foot from the windows. The only light across the shadowed floor above were the crimson seals, giving perhaps one of the most ominous views I had ever seen. I got goosebumps just thinking about what else this house had to offer.

Below me, the foundation _writhed_ like a churning sea in a midnight-storm, the seals warping and shifting and I think it's just me, but I think I saw them form something of a face.

Ah, _no…._

Then the liquid stone shot up at me and I slid to my left to avoid it. It just turned into this tsunami wall of black to rage after me and I slid, since running on the ceiling seemed more difficult and a little bit risky, away from it.

However, as the liquid-evil began to rise to the ceiling, it reduced the visibility to almost nothing, the only light being the red glow of the seals, which only drew out the shadows around me and made it nearly impossible to see.

I dodged left, right, maneuvering through the impromptu maze and dodging tentacles that tried to wrap themselves around me as my various exits closed themselves off. I slipped and slid around, since I couldn't jump or gravity would just send me right down.

But I couldn't dodge forever. This eldritch abomination of a basement floor was going to get me at some point. It probably would have already if I wasn't one of the luckiest fools to grace Konoha, but I had to get out.

With that, I punched the ceiling. It didn't give.

I had to slide right to avoid a tentacle.

Come on…I punched the ceiling again. No give.

Slide to the left! Punch again!

Nope.

 _Come on!_

The walls were starting to close in and I was getting less room to maneuver. I ducked under a wave, and another tentacle thing came to sweep my feet out from under me and I have no choice but to jump.

Time froze for just a second, as I contemplated the fact that I had just jumped right into the waiting tentacles of a dark, monstrous _thing_ that was either going to throw me back into a nightmarish Genjutsu, or simply kill me outright.

 _This is gonna suck…_

Wait.

You know how Chakra-strings can be used to control puppets and people?

I wonder if I can use them to pull myself around?

A string from each finger and tried _really_ hard to pull myself back to the safety of the ceiling.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/65_

 _+30 EXP._

I stuck my hands back on the ceiling and did a cartwheel to avoid tentacle that came back after me.

YES!

 _Spider-nin! Spider-nin! Does whatever a spider can!_

I gathered chakra in my foot and stomped on the floor, only for my foot to inexplicably go right through the wood and provide me with an escape route by hole in the roof.

…I love critical hits.

I ducked through the hole, even as I was pursued through. A large tentacle shot out through the hole and I slid to the right as it slammed on the floor…only too slink back down through the hole and out of sight.

Huh.

Since it was probably only animate through the seals, it was probably only chasing after me because I was in the basement for some reason. Okay, well, now that that's over, time to find my team.

The main room was trashed. Black scorch marks decorated the walls and bits of rock were strewn all over the floor. I'm betting that Nichiren and Hisako reacted first, hence why Kakashi presumably ran to their aid and didn't hear me if I called at all.

I only remember killing the rats, getting a quest update then suddenly _NUKE_. Well, the other two were sent to clean the Master Bathroom, so…

An explosion and shattered glass sounded from above me. Well, let's go see how my sensei's doing.

I jumped up the stair-case and rounded a corner. The Master bedroom seemed to be heavily abused, scorch marks everywhere. I came to the bathroom and there was a shinobi I didn't recognize. So, I punched him in the back and he _exploded_ into bits of gravel and dirt.

 _+25 EXP._

Past the shinobi was Kakashi, Sharingan out, looking exhausted but uninjured. His clothes and hair were matted with dirt. I probably didn't look so good myself, if I were honest with myself.

"Hey Sensei," I said, trying to seem nonchalant. "Having a bad time?"

"Nah," Kakashi eye-smiled. "There's just a lot of earth clones. Have fun in the basement?"

"The floor tried to eat me alive," I answered. "So it could've been better. You know where Nichiren and Hisako are?"

"They're trapped somewhere," Kakashi said. "This house has a lot of secret rooms. You said the floor tried to eat you?"

"Uh huh," I nodded. "The entire house is just a giant network of seals. The floor got turned into this muddy ocean of _evil_."

"You don't seem too worse for wear," Kakashi said, straightening up.

"Honestly, I don't think you'd have had any trouble with that thing," I said with a nod. "It was pretty slow."

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

Alright, I heard someone behind me-OH OW GOSH WHY?!

-48 hp.

I felt a kunai dig itself into my back at high speeds and I collapsed forward in shock. I mean _freaking ow_ that HURT! Blood was starting to leak from where the thing was buried.

Kakashi leapt over me and I heard the clone explode. I reached behind me and pulled the Kunai out, trying not to make it hurt any more than it already did.

 _-1 hp._

 _-1 hp._

Shut up, game. Ow.

200 HP left. Okay, I'm not in extreme danger yet. The earlier damage I took from the Genjutsu didn't carry over, thankfully.

It came out and my HP didn't start going down, so I wasn't going to bleed out, thankfully. That possibility didn't occur to me until right after it came out, but in this case, I'm kind of happy for game mechanics.

The kunai was actually a bunch of well-shaped pebbles that crumbled in my hand. Great, I got stabbed by rocks.

I stood up and turned around, Kakashi being surrounded by three new piles of dirt.

"So what's the plan?" I asked, keeping a very keen ear out for more spontaneously appearing earth clones.

"Find your teammates, leave the house," Kakashi replied quickly. "Then get a report to the Hokage as fast as possible to get this house trashed and its owner questioned."

…That was surprisingly sensible. We don't need to handle everything ourselves, there wasn't any reason for us to hang around. Just got to get us and ours and hightail it. I like this plan. Pity it's probably going to go wrong.

"So, are we just going to start exploding walls?" I asked, popping my knuckles.

"I've been trying," Kakashi responded. "The clones keep showing up to interrupt me."

"Oh," I said, nodding. "Can I keep them off of you? I don't have any jutsu that can reliably get past the seal-reinforcements, but I'm sure you have a _lot_ of jutsu that would make short work of stuff like this."

 _Speech Check Success: 32/30._

 _+15 EXP._

"I'd rather make sure you didn't get another kunai in your back," Kakashi replied, before sighing in resignation. "But you make a good point. Try to keep them off of me while I look for the other two."

"Hai Sensei," With that, I started my watch. It took all of two seconds for the piles of dust and gravel to reform themselves back into clones. Alright, then! Come on, my little EXP nuggets! Bring it to me!

I snagged two of them with chakra strings and used them to slingshot my way to the third one, whose head I promptly disintegrated with a well-placed double-kick. I dodged backwards to avoid a punch from the left, which I promptly retaliated against with a punch to its side.

 _-24 hp._

I was caught by surprise when the other one kicked me in the shins. Ow! Geeze, man! I stuck to its leg and used that as leverage to land a kick of my own to its torso, and it burst like its friends.

+ _25 EXP._

 _+25 EXP._

 _+25 EXP._

The house shook with an explosion. "I found Hisako!"

Awesome!

I leapt over to where Kakashi was standing. There was a new hole in the bathroom, just past the shower, where a cell filled with red seals was built. Hisako was lying on the ground, sweating and mumbling in her sleep. Whatever she was seeing, it was bad.

Kakashi put a hand on her and a hand in half a seal. "Kai."

Hisako bolted away, kunai in hand in an attempt to take Kakashi's other eye, but Kakashi caught the hand. "Easy there. You've been under a Genjutsu."

She breathed uneasily for several seconds and-I dodge the incoming dirt Shuriken and rapidly turn to see four dirt clones coming at me. Freak, I dropped the ball on that. Alright. A kick dispersed the first one, cross punches took out two and three and then I stuck to the ceiling like monkey bars to swing into a kick to take out the final one.

If I couldn't take these things out in one punch, I would be having a much harder time of this, I'm sure.

 _+25 EXP._

 _+25 EXP._

 _+25 EXP._

 _+25 EXP._

880 more EXP until level 7. A level up would be welcome. I've been needing to improve my ranged weapon skill for a while, just to get Kakashi and Hisako off of my back about my aim. Whatever, now's not the time.

"Daisuke!" Kakashi called after me. "Hisako is going to stay back here with me, keep those clones off our backs."

"You got it!" I called back. You know, I wonder why the clones don't simply appear in the bathroom. I mean, the bathroom is a part of the house, so - Hisako screamed, followed by the sound of a dirt clone bursting. Well, that answers that question!

I hopped over to Kakashi.

"Change of plans," Kakashi said, looking over the wall with his Sharingan eye. "Stay close, Daisuke."

"Will do," I nodded, taking up a position at the door.

"So why don't you just destroy the entire wall?" Hisako asked, seeming to have composed herself.

"The walls absorb chakra," Kakashi answered with an audible frown.

"It does?" I asked. "But I can walk up them just fine."

"Well, I assume it only absorbs chakra from jutsu meant to harm the walls specifically," Kakashi elaborated. "Hides the walls' function extremely well from the prying eyes of the shinobi in Konoha. The seals are _very_ well put together from what I can tell. But I can get through it by overloading the wall with enough concentrated force."

Oh. Same principle as a bullet. Less force than a baseball, punches through organs like paper, if I remember correctly. Which means he's using…

Kakashi performed hand seals in rapid succession. So rapid that I only caught the Ox seal at the beginning, monkey somewhere in the middle (ha!) and another monkey at the end.

 _Perception Check Failure: Success not possible._

…wow. Really? I guess it makes sense since SPECIAL stats get more powerful as I level but dang. So even if I had ten, I still wouldn't have caught all of that. Ox, monkey and monkey aren't enough to really go on.

 _Ninjutsu Check Failure: 20/85._

Yup.

Kakashi held up his hand with the other, and a massive amount of electricity gathered in his palm. The chakra was shaped like a jagged rock in his hand, pouring out streams of electricity that fell to the floor in what I considered to be the greatest lightshow ever.

This was the Chidori.

I want it.

He put his palm to the floor and dragged it so fast I couldn't follow the motion for all of two feet before hitting the wall, causing the seals around the immediate point of impact to burn red hot before the wall exploded, sending dust and dirt everywhere. But on the other side was Nichiren, who looked just as bad as Hisako. His glasses were on the floor, he was pale and sweating and mumbling to himself.

It just occurred to me that if anyone heard me mumble while in the Genjutsu-dream-thing, that might be terrifying. Or hilarious. I don't think 'Ad Victoriam' would register as anything other than gibberish to these Latin-less people.

 _-24_ _HP._

SONOFA-

Turned around, jumped at the clone and vaporized its head and torso. The rest of it more or less disintegrated on its own, which took some of the fun out of it-

 _+25 EXP._

-but that doesn't change the fact that I'm now at 176 HP and since this house won't stop spawning Earth Clones, I can't imagine that I'll last much longer if we don't get out of here _now._

"So, where's our exit?" I called back, watching more clones form up.

"Right here," Kakashi called back, making another Chidori. Oh, we were going to escape through the wall. Smart.

A shadow passed over me and I felt this horrible chill. I looked back and there, sitting in the window sill was a raven. Probably the same one from the basement. I was more than certain that it was normal raven. This was confirmed when it suddenly grew in size and gained arms. It was now a Were-raven.

 _Quest Updated: Upon a Midnight Darkly_

 _Completed: Re-unite with your team._

 _Defeat the Were-raven._

Most likely a Nin with a more complicated Henge, like Man-Beast Transformation or whatever it's called.

"Kakashi-sensei," I called back. "I found our problem."

The Were-raven made a hand sign, and the whole house lit up in seals. Yes indeed, this entire house is tattooed in a giant seal and…wait, don't tell me he's bringing the floor-

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/7._

Oh crap.

Suddenly, the floor beneath us exploded as the concrete-abomination ripped its way from the basement to the currently floor, the Raven screaming a war-cry. Then the floor beneath my feet was burst by concrete which promptly _engulfed me AND SWALLOWED ME NONONONONONO-!_

"Daisuke!" I heard the muffled cry of Hisako as I was pulled under.

The light above me disappeared and I was tumbled and twirled around until I didn't know which way was up as I was dragged to oblivion. Chakra-slide proved useless as my limbs quickly had cords wrapped around them.

Part of me was amazed by the increase in capability and amused that it needed someone else's brain to get anything done. The rest was simply scared out of its mind. Doubly so when I was deposited back in the cell I first started in, only this time I was tied up in concrete ropes. My vision flashed rapidly between the crimson seals and the smoke dotted sky of Nuked!Konoha.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

 _+50 EXP._

You know what?

Screw this.

I am _not_ going to get Genjutsu-murdered by this sad, despicable Gaara rip-off! I…wait. You know, I think I might be able to just make a mini-Rasengan to grind through these tendrils with a significantly reduced chakra cost. Still don't think I can make it for more than a few seconds-

-BURNING SKY, ASH BLOCKING OUT THE SUN-

-Freaking Genjutsu. Okay, go!

 _Chakra Control Check Success! 100/65._

Nice!

However, it did approximately nothing, since the ropes simply absorbed my chakra before I could get it to form properly. My Chakra went down to zero _really_ quickly. Like, dang! Although it occurred to me that being able to go from zero to full in less than a minute is really cheap. I wonder if there's deeper rules.

I felt the cell start to move and that just made me panic even more. I struggled, weaving against the tendrils, grunting in exertion as I twisted out of their stone grip.

 _Agility Check Success: 7/7_.

 _+35 EXP._

I am never going to take my other SPECIAL stats for granted ever again.

I swear I heard a pop as I came out. Now what? Through the wall? It'll just absorb my chakra. Come on, there's got to be a weak point.

I jumped out of the way of the tentacle-things coming after me now that I had escaped.

Come on, show me your weak point like a good boss!

Dodge left, dodge right, the cell started to shrink in size.

I'm really just hoping you have a weak point right now.

Suddenly, there was an explosion and my vision _blurred_ out of focus completely for a second and kai! KAI! KAAAAAAAAIIII!

Then I was sat down on the ground by Kakashi, who was a total boss by the way, and he looked over me with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yes Sensei," I was breathing heavily. We were deep in some concrete tunnels. Clearly up to code, but they haven't actually been maintained either. "Is the other guy dead?"

"No," Kakashi answered. "He just dived into the writhing mass of nightmares after it grabbed you."

"Oh," I said, standing up. "Do you think killing whoever that is will stop the basement floor?"

"I hope so," Kakashi replied. "Because it's coming for us."

I looked up. The concrete beast filled the tunnel completely, blocking the path to wherever it was going. However, the path back to the house was completely unblocked. It surged forward at us and we ran like crazy back along the path.

Thankfully, I noticed that Hisako and Nichiren were nowhere to be found, so they were clearly back at the house.

Which was good, because the giant monster was mad and _tailing us_.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: So, quick announcement. I've decided to take a break from Shinobi, think over some things, what have you. That won't really affect updating on FF except for a specific spot when I will stop uploading chapters. Not that I've been particularly good at posting them here, anyway. The thing is that after a certain point, I wanted to be at a specific point in the story NOW but it wasn't time and...basically, after that point, it needs a rewrite. But I'm not going to do that right now. So I think you'll get up to just before Daisuke's chunin exams? Maybe a little bit after? Then I'll stop and leave you guys to enjoy what I've written up to this point because after that...yeah.  
_

 _I_ am _glad to read that so many people here are enjoying this. Thanks for your kind words, I hope you'll continue to like what I have to write and then I'll be able to have that rewrite started...someday._


	11. An Eye for an Eye

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

It took all of five seconds for Kakashi to swing me onto his back for a piggy-back ride and we took off like a freaking missile. I thought I was fast. I was wrong. _I was so utterly wrong_.

The tunnel itself seemed never ending, so apparently the monster we left behind was much faster than the previous encounter. It's master really wanted me to go…wherever. Come to think of it, when did this complex of tunnels get built?

…wait. There was something from the Manga that used a network of tunnels underneath Konoha. _But I don't remember what it was_.

Twelve years without the anime or google. It's a wonder that I can even still function.

Over Kakashi's shoulder, I saw a light coming from the tunnel's ceiling which we were rapidly approaching. When we got it, Kakashi surprised me by leaping through the hole as high as he could, and I saw that we were in the house.

Good to see Kakashi was incapable of getting lost.

We landed on the second floor, right beside Hisako and Nichiren. Hisako was holding kunai in each hand, while Nichiren was… holding a snake seal with ninja wire tied around his index fingers.

Then the basement floor showed up. It erupted from the hole in the floor like a spray from a geyser, it's seals basking the walls in crimson light, utterly silent save for the rushing of air.

"NOW!" Hisako screamed.

Suddenly, the monster-geyser inflated like a balloon. Then that balloon popped in an explosion of fire and smoke, causing bits and pieces to rain down on the floor. I pulled my goggles down to shield my eyes. While I saw some of the larger pieces still glowing red and rushing to form back in the center, others were blank, and inert on the ground.

"Huh," I remarked. The explosion had actually managed to wipe the seal off at some locations. Or at very least damaged parts of the seal beyond use, effectively severing those bits off of it like limbs. Well, explosive notes are going to be something I put a priority on.

I got like what, a Fuinjutsu of…what? 20-something? It shouldn't be too hard. Just buy one of my own from the obscene amount of cash I'm going to get from this mission and analyze.

"Was that you, Nichiren?" Kakashi asked my frankly _amazing_ teammate.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei," Nichiren said, untying the wire from his fingers.

"Good job," Kakashi said with an eye smile.

"Thank you, sensei," Nichiren nodded.

Then the owner of the basement shot up from the rubble, bringing with him the bit of floor that protected him from the explosion. He was still a were-raven, which meant that was a more permanent Henge or…something else?

"That's just a Henge, right?" I asked, turning to Kakashi. "Like a really advanced version?"

"Most likely," He looked at me. "You are remarkably calm for your first dangerous situation."

"This isn't the first time I've almost died," I replied, the memories of 'roided up rats seeming cute and cuddly in comparison to what I've gone through today. "It was nowhere near as bad as this, but I'm not exactly a stranger to danger."

"When was this?" Nichiren asked with wide eyes.

"Back when I first joined the academy," I said, popping my knuckles. "I'll have to share that story some time."

"You better," Hisako grumbled.

The Were-raven took his spot up in the window, and his shadow draped over us as he screamed bloody murder. Oh, great. It's another reference to the Poem. Yes, I get it. Our souls will be trapped beneath his shadow forever or something if we die.

I swear, this game got +50 pretentious points for this quest alone.

Hisako threw a kunai and the were-raven dodged, falling off the ledge and retaliating with shuriken of his own. I dodged to the right, bending at the knees as the projectile…feathers? He's seriously attacking with feathers.

I know it's entirely chakra-shenanigans but it's annoying.

More came after me, and I jumped above them and onto the wall, and then scrambled up and onto the ceiling, hearing the sound of weaponized feathers embed themselves in the wall behind me. Below me, Kakashi jumped after the were-raven and the remains of the floor monster, which was more like a puddle monster now, jumped after Kakashi.

Part of me wanted to just drop down, but that was more than three stories of drop before I went splat and I don't know how to compensate for that yet. So yeah. No thanks. I just ran forward and stuck to the wall opposite to run down after the dueling shinobi.

I saw Kakashi throw out a massive fire-ball, which was blocked by the puddle-monster, the seals glowing brighter as it absorbed the chakra.

I hope it wasn't programmed to re-build itself with all that absorbed chakra. That would be the greatest thing to ever happen to the enemy.

The Raven seemed thoroughly content to hide inside the concrete monster. Again, the parallels to Gaara are immense here. At least bird-butt moves around instead of just letting the concrete monster do all the work.

You know, I really got to name that thing. 'Concrete Monster', 'Monster Puddle' and other literal appellations I can throw at it don't really work all that well. 'Gaara-copy' doesn't work either because he's only similar on one level as far as I know. And they don't look that much alike. I think.

I dunno, I haven't actually met Gaara in real life and I hope I don't unless I'm either Kage-level or he's post-Naruto.

I got to the floor and I whip out two sets of chakra-threads. My plan is to try to pull the Raven out of its muddy throne to allow Kakashi a good window to murder him. Or threaten to kill him so he shuts off the house's defense system. Whatever.

Kakashi threw a trio of Kunai and the Monster caught them, but they exposed the raven to me, and my threads latched onto him. I _pulled_ with everything I had and several interesting things happened at once.

First, the raven came out and was flying toward me. Second, he oriented himself midair to attack me as soon as we made contact. Third and final, the Monster came rushing toward the Raven.

Well, crap.

I slid to the right in an orbit around the aerial bird-man. I threw a couple shuriken, but unsurprisingly, they went wide…wait, one of them scratched the bird-man. Bonus Agility, I salute you!

He landed, I slid backwards and he was enveloped by the monster, making my move to yank him out completely pointless. A ring of tentacles shot up from the ground and whirled around him like horses on a carousal.

I slid back further as he threw more feathers at me and I dodged to the right, sliding making that almost trivial. He was coming toward me quickly, and a ball of fire engulfed the raven. I briefly glimpsed the tentacles shifting into a dome before the flame obscured my vision.

Then Kakashi grabbed me again and I was off like a missile up to the third level. He set me down and was breathing raggedly.

"Chakra exhaustion?" I asked him with a frown.

His only response was to nod in between breaths.

Figures. I don't know how many false-starts he had with the Chidori or how many jutsu he tried to get Hisako and Nichiren out of their cells before resorting to that Chakra hog.

We were hidden in what used to be the upstairs bathroom. I could hear the raven screaming out a war cry as it looking for us. Kakashi peered around the wall and I did the same. I noticed that Nichiren and Hisako had hidden themselves in a closet and the raven was sliding up the wall on the opposite side.

I don't have explosive tags. Kunai are useless because I'm useless _at_ them. I'd use chakra strings in a 'possessed weapon' gambit, but those would probably get absorbed. I can't get close without getting sucked into nightmare land and that would just prompt the raven to run away with me again since _clearly_ I'm the one he wants. I…I've got nothing.

I should've worked on Fuinjutsu sooner. I should've _thought_ about Fuinjutsu sooner. I've been inexcusably lazy. I've been naïve. I thought I had more _time_. I should've. I would've. I could've.

I didn't.

And now we're paying the price for it.

The funny part is that this kind of crippling overspecialization bit me in the rear end when I was playing the games too. I didn't learn my lesson then, either.

Wait, why doesn't Kakashi have any soldier pills on him? Because it's a D-rank?

"Kakashi-sensei?" I asked quietly, keenly aware that the thing was getting closer. "If I can pull the raven out again, you think you can kill him?"

"Do you think you can do that again?" Kakashi asked me in a similarly low voice.

"If I get the opportunity, yeah," I nodded.

"Okay, then we'll set up an ambush and-" The ground erupted beneath Kakashi's feet and the monster engulfed him. Thick talons swiped where my head was just a second ago as I ducked. I tried to kick the ravens feet and he jumped over it, sending a feather RIGHT INTO ONE OF MY EYES!

 _-48 HP._

 _Head Crippled._

 _WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYOWWWWWWWWWW!_

I screamed in pain, my hands flying right to the punctured orb, blood seeping into the feather. I ended up on my back, hands clutching that section of my face. My vision, such as it was, was clouded by tears.

 _Oh the pain._

 _Owwww…_

I felt a two sets of talons pick me up by the forearms and the raven head was blurred.

 _BIG._

 _MISTAKE._

Oh, my pain coupled with the rage and my boots plunged into his stomach. They were packing all the chakra I could muster in them and what followed the double kick was perhaps the strongest explosion I've ever heard, followed by the sound of slimy, gooey bits hitting the wall.

 _+250 EXP._

Oh, nice.

Ow.

I fell to the floor, but that pain felt utterly insignificant compared to having one of my eyes playing host to a weaponized quill. The sound of liquid concrete sliding onto the floor, with a solid _thunk_ beside me signifying that Kakashi was still on this floor. I sat up and started to cradle my eye again, the other shut.

The one saving grace for this is that it will probably heal up when I take a nap.

It didn't stop it from hurting like crazy or me blubbering like an idiot trying to cradle the darn thing. I didn't want to move it. That would make it hurt more. A lot more. How many hit points did I have. Freak, I can't read the bar. Less than half. I think.

Ow, that hurts.

 _Quest Updated: Upon a Midnight Darkly_

 _Completed: Defeat the Were-raven._

 _Leave the house._

Footsteps. Nichiren and Hisako, I hope.

"Sensei?" Nichiren asked. "Daisuke? Is it ove-?"

He shouted in shock and surprise. "So much blood."

That was intelligent.

"Sensei!" That was Hisako. "DAISUKE! Oh no! Are you okay?"

"I GOT STABBED IN MY EYE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?" I shouted at them, pain still throbbing from where I _knew_ the needle was.

"Sorry!" Hisako clammed up.

"Sensei here," Nichiren kneeled down. "I have soldier pills."

Oh, so Nichiren is on top of things. What a guy.

Kakashi groaned, and I heard him sit up. "Thanks, Nichiren. Are either of you injured?"

"No sensei," Hisako replied. I could hear her voice waver.

"No sensei," Nichiren's voice nearly broke.

"Alright, we'll get down to the main floor and you two head home. You'll be called on later to help give a report on what happened," Kakashi said. I think he stood up. "I need to get Daisuke to the hospital. _Now._ "

For what was like the fifth time today, Kakashi picked me up and I felt my weight shift as we went down the walls. A second later, my weight shifted again and I heard the doors get kicked open. Oh, good. Without the master of the house, we could leave.

 _Hallelujah_.

Then we were jumping high. My uncontrollable sobs had died down to pathetic whimpers.

I am never, no never, taking the other skills for granted again. Medicine would be useful here. Fuinjutsu would've prevented this from happening in the first place and…and… _owwwww_ …

If my nap doesn't regenerate this eye, I am going to be _pissed_.

We got to the hospital, and I was only barely aware of the flurry of activity that was stirred up at our arrival. I was put on a stretcher, and IV needle in my arm. I was too out of it to even offer the token protest.

I was wheeled away. Probably to some operating room to remove the feather and…and…everything started to get dark.

* * *

When I finally awoke, I felt a million times better. I followed the first instinct and opened my eyes. To check if they were both working, I closed one and…no change in my vision.

 _No_ …

I raised my hands up to my eyes and only saw the one on the right.

 _Noooooo…_

I touched my face and…there's bandages. I ripped them off and I was, thankfully, able to see in depth perception.

 _Whew!_

Okay. I'm good. I had my eyes back. I saw my gear laid across the table right corner, opposite the wall. I was laying on a hospital bed, of course.

Alright.

I'm okay.

 _Quest Completed: Upon a Midnight Darkly_

 _+1200 EXP._

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 **Level Up!**

YES!

Fanfare played, I felt amazing and accomplished and really good! It was almost worth losing an eye for?

By that I mean it totally wasn't worth it.

So, clearly being cripplingly overspecialized _isn't_ going to work as well as I thought. I have **27** in **Fuinjutsu** and that's actually above Genin level if I had to guess, so that clearly needs the least amount of work. **3** points, to bring it to a nice **30**.

After that…oh, boy. I think I want to split them evenly between two skills? Maybe? I don't think kunai would have really helped even if I did have the skills for it. I have the chakra control already, so do I want to put points in Ninjutsu? That helped a little, even if it was just busting my teammates out of their cells. And I need to train Naruto later in Shadow Clones, so… **10** points in Ninjutsu, bringing it up to **28** , which with bonuses is 30. Yaaaay!

Now what to do with the remaining ten points?

Wait…I have **27** in **Medicine**? Huh. Good to know. Need to start using that.

Would knowing Genjutsu have helped me there? Maybe initially when I was trapped in the Brotherhoods Assault, but I don't think it would have helped me at all afterwards. Maybe I could have put the Were-raven, whoever he was, in a Genjutsu and tricked him into freeing us?

Something to consider.

Well…I also need to put points into speech. It's done fairly well when I've used it, but I can't expect it get me through everything. So… **4** points into **Speech** , bringing that bad boy up to **30**. Then I put **3** points into **Medicine** , making it **30** also, and put the last **3** into **Genjutsu** , making it **21**.

This is an odd-numbered level, so no perk. I pressed the accept button and that brought me back to the room.

Alright then.

So, the million-dollar question.

 _ **WHAT THE ACTUAL # %# WAS THAT?**_

I'm mad right now. I'm really mad right now. I'm mad at that house. I'm mad at whoever that Shinobi was. I'm mad at _Konoha's Security Forces_ for not catching the existence of that house. I'm mad at the _Hokage_ for not catching that houses existence before now. _I'm mad at Konoha in general for even HAVING something like that in its walls!_

Stuff like that doesn't just appear out of nowhere!

It was built, had seals engraved, connected to a tunnel network, apparently without anyone knowing! HOW? _**HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?**_

More importantly, who built it. Was the owner or butler involved? They surely were. Who were they working for? Did they do this on purpose? Did they _plan_ on having me there to 'clean' the place, only to snatch me up for whatever reason?

…no. There's several Genin teams aside from mine, so this was a spur of the moment decision. But why? Who was the shinobi? Was it the butler? The owner? What was the deal with the underground tunnel network?

How do you build something like that without anyone knowing?

A part of my brain reminded me about Earth Jutsu making stealth-construction a likely possibility, but I ignored him for a second.

Wait.

There was something about that tunnel complex in the canon, right? Something about...something from Shippuden, right?

I wish I actually read that now. I barely remember anything from the old canon. Aside from some details about the Sand Invasion and Itachi, as well as a bunch of names and faces, I don't remember much.

Gaaaah…this is frustrating. I don't even want to think about those things right now. I've blown canon so far off the rails the invasion might never happen. Heck, what's Itachi even _doing_ right now? Psychopath thinks it's cool to mind-rape his younger brother into blind hatred…it doesn't even make sense because Itachi didn't even _want_ to…kill…everyone…

Wait.

Itachi was ordered to kill the Uchiha clan by a clandestine organization within Konoha. And…they had a tunnel complex under Konoha, I thought. Maybe an extension of the sewers? But who are they?

They had a name.

What was the name?

Who was their leader?

Something-Bonsai? …no, Bonsai is a tree, not the head of an underground organization.

But it was them, right? They're like the root of all evil in Naruto, or something? They keep making problems for Konoha in the name of protecting Konoha? What was…oh. Derp. _Root._

Who were they headed by again? I know he was hated on the internet. But what was his name.

…Danzo.

Danzo is the head of Root.

Root utilizes an underground tunnel complex.

That house was connected to the underground tunnel complex, constructed with resources anyone sane would've been able to identify.

 _That entire house had something to do with Root._

* * *

 _Author's Note: This chapter, when I first wrote it, ended up going through several iterations. I threw away four pages of content because I thought it wasn't the best chapter or the best one that I'd write. Now_ because _I did this, we now have Daisuke having gone through losing his eye to show that, no, he's not infallible. In fact, his fallibility was one of the main draws of this fic.  
_

 _Hope you enjoyed and are having a great day._

 _~Fulcon_


	12. Interlude: Conversations

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

That evening at the Hokage Tower, Kakashi stood in front of the Hokage's desk. The Hokage himself was smoking his pipe. "Are you sure he didn't know anything ahead of time?"

"He didn't have any reaction until after I explained the mission," Kakashi replied. "Right after he confidently stated he could handle any rat problem."

"I guess birds were a different story," The Hokage sighed. "Do you think Daisuke can somehow predict the future?"

"I don't know, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said. "What I do know is that he didn't even know what house we were going to, he was confident about handling a rat problem, then suddenly he was pale as a sheet. Then Nichiren tried to comfort him by saying nothing can go wrong."

Hiruzen barked with laughter. "Oh. First, total recovery with a good night's sleep, perfect chakra control and now some sense of when a mission will go wrong. I'm almost thinking this is too good to be true."

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi began uneasily. "The hospital identified who I brought to the hospital as Shimoda Daisuke."

"So it may just be the real deal," The Hokage sucked on his pipe for a long moment, before blowing a smoke ring. "…the ability to sense the future. You can't put a Ryo-count to that, Kakashi."

"I know, Hokage-sama."

"Priceless!"

"If every team had someone like that on a mission, or even if our missions were screened with that power…we could cut mission foul-ups to a fraction," Hiruzen had a wide smile on his face. Then it hardened. "Nevertheless, we need to keep an eye on him in case of further developments. As you said, he was targeted specifically and if someone hired Yasukazu and he was not simply acting as a free agent, they will assuredly strike again."

* * *

Hisako did not sleep well the previous night.

As she stepped out the front door, she rubbed her eyes. They had heavy bags and her eyes were very red. She held back a yawn and began a march for Konoha hospital.

She hadn't seen Kakashi or Daisuke since yesterday. The latter more understandable than the former, as he was now likely missing an eye.

The nightmares last night were a keen reminder of that fact. First having to traverse a maze filled with horrifying monsters to rescue her captured parents, then being woken up and having to face a _giant_ monster and a bird- _thing_ took its toll.

She didn't think she'd forget the sight of her teammate with a feather lodged in his eye any time soon. Or ever.

Hisako stopped when she finally came to the front of the hospital. In the entrance, there were shinobi leaving, some having been discharged, others having been waiting. A Genin team, she didn't recognize them, walked out with their sensei's arm in a cast. They were talking animatedly, looking happy.

They were probably more than a little relieved.

"Hey, Hisako!" Hisako turned, and saw Nichiren running up to her.

"Hey Nichiren," She replied. "You doing okay?"

"W-well I ehhhh," He gave a nervous chuckle. Then he looked downcast. "No. Not really, no."

"Makes two of us," Hisako nodded with a frown. "Shall we go?"

Nichiren nodded. "I wonder if they saved Daisuke's eye."

"Doubt it," Hisako replied. "If he still has it, it's because of his bloodline. Otherwise, he's a cyclops now."

"You think his bloodline's strong enough to replace lost organs?" Nichiren asked, as they walked in through the front door.

"No," Hisako replied. They walked up to the reception desk. "But he's already done what I thought was impossible before so…"

They found out where Daisuke was, Kakashi having made sure he was safe before taking off to inform the Hokage. Daisuke was all the way on the top floor in the surgery wing, recovering from having the feather extracted.

"What do you think that house was?" Nichiren quietly asked as they walked.

"I don't know," Hisako answered with barely controlled fear. "I just don't think it's a good idea to talk about it until we hear from Kakashi-sensei."

"Good point," Nichiren gulped and was quiet the rest of the way.

Eventually, they came to Daisuke's room. They opened the door and saw _not_ the form and body of Daisuke in a hospital gown and heavily bandaged on the face area, but fully clothed with his feet kicked up on the back rail. In his hand was a book about Ninjutsu, with a small pile of other books, both opened and not, on the night stand. His black notebook, the one he never went without, was lying on his lap, propped open between his thighs.

Daisuke looked up from his book. "Hey. You guys okay?"

"About as well as could be expected," Hisako shrugged, shutting the door behind them.

"So…not?" Daisuke rose an eyebrow.

"Pretty much."

"You look good," Nichiren smiled.

"Thanks."

Things became quiet. Daisuke went back to his book for a few minutes before sighing and closing it with his finger in the spot he was at. "Do you know how Kakashi-sensei's doing?"

"We didn't see him," Hisako shrugged. "He wasn't checked into the hospital, so I guess he's doing okay."

Daisuke frowned.

"So…it's good to see your eye's back," Nichiren smiled.

"Oh yeah," He answered, a little forcefully. "I kind of liked the old eye better, to be honest."

"…right," Nichiren said, hunching over slightly.

"Do you know when they'll release you?" Hisako frowned.

"Nope," Daisuke shrugged. "I'm perfectly fine, but they're waiting for something before they release me. I should've just snuck out or something."

"No you shouldn't have," Hisako sighed with an annoyed look. "That'd have been very bad."

"Why? I'm sure every shinobi's that's been through here's done it at least once," Daisuke replied with a shrug. "Whatever. Patience is a virtue and all that."

The door opened…and in stepped the Hokage, with Kakashi a step behind him. Nichiren and Hisako jumped at the unexpected entrance, backing away from the door to make way.

"I'm glad you agree Daisuke," The Hokage said with a merry tone of voice that carried just a hint annoyance.

"Hokage-dono," Daisuke was out of bed instantly in a bow. "I didn't know you wanted to see me."

"It's quite alright," The Hokage said. "I'm glad to see you all here. That will save us some time."

Kakashi closed the door behind them, and leaned against it with his arms folded. Any hope someone had of opening that door or eavesdropping was now completely dashed. Daisuke sat back on his bed.

"I just wanted the three of you to know that what happened yesterday is under investigation," The Hokage said. "There was absolutely no reason for that house to be anything other than a house. All three of you are to be commended for your bravery during this ordeal and you will be compensated as if this were an A-rank mission."

Daisuke let out a breath. Nichiren's eyes went wide and his glasses nearly slid off his nose. Hisako did a little fist pump.

"Th-thank you Hokage-dono," Nichiren said.

"That said, your records will only be updated upon the completion of the investigation," The Hokage continued. "What happened at that house is to be considered an A-rank secret until I tell you otherwise. Don't tell _anyone_ , as it could hamper the investigation that is currently ongoing."

Daisuke raised his hand.

The Hokage smirked. "Yes, Daisuke?"

"So…can I ask a question about the investigation?" Daisuke asked hesitantly.

"Well, I don't know how much would be appropriate to tell you," The Hokage responded. "But I suppose I can answer a few questions."

Daisuke didn't miss a beat. "Who was the guy I killed?"

The Hokage inhaled. "Right to the point, I see. The shinobi you killed was Nakata Yasukazu, the owner of the house. His servant Susumu has currently been detained for questioning."

"How long do you think the investigation will take?" Hisako asked.

"Two to three weeks," The Hokage replied easily. "Until then, you are not to breathe a word about this to anyone other than yourselves and your sensei."

"I understand, Hokage-sama," Hisako nodded her head.

"Ummm…" Nichiren raised his hand.

"Go ahead Nichiren," The Hokage gestured to him.

"…how much is an A-rank worth?" Nichiren asked.

The Hokage simply smiled. "A lot. I'll let you see the exact numbers for yourself, but I think you and your parents will be quite pleased."

Nichiren smiled.

The Hokage cleared his throat. "Now, in light of recent events, you are all being granted two weeks' furlough. Please use your vacation wisely."

"Yes!" Nichiren cheered. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

Daisuke tensed in his bed, then relaxed and said nothing.

"I could use the extra time to train," Hisako shrugged. "Thank you Hokage."

"I wish all of you well," The Hokage turned to leave. "I must return to the tower, I have a lot of work to do."

Farewells were exchanged.

Kakashi got out of the way of the Hokage and after the robed man left, cleared his throat. "Everyone, in about a week, I want to meet with you to talk about the mission, get some questions answered."

"What kind of questions?" Daisuke almost sounded _suspicious_ for some reason.

"Just questions about the mission. What exactly happened from your point of view, how you think you'll do better in the future," Kakashi shrugged. "I figured it would be a good chance to teach you how to file your own reports for the missions we go on."

"That makes sense," Daisuke's shoulders slumped. "Alright. Where did you want to meet?"

"The Memorial stone," Kakashi answered. "Be there at twelve o'clock."

"So…two-ish?" Daisuke asked with a risen eyebrow.

"Now that's just hurtful," Kakashi eye-smiled. "Goodbye, my cute little Genin…stay safe."

And with that, Kakashi completely disappeared from the room.

"Alright…see you guys in a week?" Daisuke asked, stepping out of the room.

"See you," Nichiren waved goodbye.

Daisuke's doctor walked up to him, and they walked off, talking about his bloodline. What else.

"…is it just me," Nichiren started. "Or is Daisuke a jerk sometimes?"

"He's a jerk sometimes," Hisako said as they started walking together out of the hospital. "Not sure he realizes it, though."

"What do you mean?" Nichiren asked.

"I mean it's never really clicked in his head how to behave socially," Hisako explained. Upon seeing that Nichiren was still confused, she sighed. "It doesn't occur to him how he sounds or acts some times?"

"I don't get it," Nichiren replied.

"Okay so…when I first met Daisuke, he looked _off_. Like a statue in some ways," Hisako continued as they walked down the stairs. "But that wasn't the only thing. He stood way too stiff, he'd make eye contact and keep staring in a way that would make you nervous. Right?"

"Yeah," Nichiren nodded. "He doesn't do that as much now."

"He's started wearing a Henge," Hisako replied. "It's helped and he's stopped staring, but you notice how when he talks, it's either monotone or like he's trying to hard? It's the same sort of thing."

"Huh," Nichiren said as they entered the open air. "But how does that make him a jerk without realizing it?"

"Think about it," Hisako replied. "Daisuke apologized for leaving us by ourselves when he found out it made us uncomfortable, tried to help you feel better when we found you in the forest and went out of his way to save our lives when we got caught in our separate Genjutsu cell-things. Would a guy like that act like a jerk on purpose?"

Nichiren was quiet for a second. "Probably not."

"It's like most of the other shinobi in the world," Hisako said. "Kakashi-sensei's constantly late, there's that guy in the green spandex whose way too enthusiastic, you're a nervous wreck-"

" _Hey!_ "

"-I don't even _care_ and Daisuke's a social cripple. It's all these little quirks people pick up. Daisuke's just picked them up a lot sooner than everyone else."

Nichiren hummed. "You think he's like that because of his bloodline?"

"You know what?" Hisako answered with a look. "Probably. But I don't know. Maybe he got dropped on his head or something at the orphanage."

Nichiren laughed.

* * *

 _Authors Note: Just a short interlude with a_ completely _different conversation than what I was going to put originally. This is the first time we've seen Daisuke from the third person and the first chapter to focus on Nichiren and Hisako. I hope I've done them justice._

 _I'm up for criticism on this. I really hope that Kakashi and Hiruzen's dialogue wasn't egregious ego-boosting and that this interlude was entertaining, as short as it was._


	13. Let's Get Dangerous

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

I always stunk at goals. Looking beyond the low-hanging fruit was something I've always been terrible at. It didn't change when I died and came back.

It nearly killed me and my team.

But then it comes down to a point where I have to change or this game was going to kill me and my friends around me. Adapt or die.

Friends.

They're a treasure to have, for sure. Life…sucked, without Cell 13. It sucked without Naruto. It sucked without Kakashi-sensei and it sucked without Nichiren or Hisako.

I need to treat them better. _Protect_ them better. _I'm_ the one with overpowered abilities, it's my job to make sure they live through everything. This isn't a Bioware RPG where everyone magically gets back up at the end of the fight. This is a Bethesda game without an essential tag.

Protecting them doesn't involve coasting on some rather impressive B-rank techniques.

But how to improve?

Goals were always what was suggested. Set manageable goals, achieve them, set further goals, achieve them, work toward greatness.

Except I never tried to make the goals, really. I was always horrible at setting them, even worse at trying to reach them. But now the lives of my friends and I are at stake. So that leaves me with the only thing I can really do.

Set goals and try to follow them this time.

That ultimately comes to the question; what do I want?

Well, I want to go home and get away from the obscene danger. But I can't think that way; down that path is the path of depression, madness and suicide in an attempt to fix what went wrong. It's nowhere I really want to be.

So what do I want if I can't have the former?

Well, I want to protect my friends.

My 'precious people', if I had to go with local vernacular.

How do I want to do that?

Well…I've got a maxed Intelligence, if not the motivation to use it fully. I also have maxed chakra control, nearly maxed Taijutsu and the ability to improve rapidly. I also seem to be rather gifted at reverse-engineering jutsu.

So, the idea of a Magic Knight is well within my possibility, but how do I help the rest of my team? Well, Kakashi doesn't need that much help if I were honest. Nichiren and Hisako, on the other hand, do.

The thought entered my head of teaching them shadow-clone jutsu to help them train, but I seriously doubted that would even help them train all that much. Too fragile, too much chakra. Waste of time and effort.

I was consciously aware of 'Chasing Shadows' burning a hole in my quest log.

I'll have to figure how to help them later. Right now, I need to help myself. So, in my ultimate philosophy in character building, a good character needs four things to be successful. Offense, Defense, Maneuverability, and Sustainability.

I've got plenty of Offense, though I could always use more, and my Maneuverability is fairly good, though I'll need to learn Shunshin soon, as well as figure out if I can take a long fall. After that, it's more or less taken care of until I learn how to fly. It _should_ be possible, but I don't remember anyone besides that one guy who flew on the back of a giant bird who pulled it off. That bird exploded? I think?

Sorry, getting off topic.

My defense was laughable. Barely anything against physical harm, nothing to be said against Ninjutsu and my lack of defense against Genjutsu is downright _horrifying._ On top of that, I have no sustain. My chakra reserves deplete like crazy, which leads me to believe there's something odd going on there with how fast it regenerates. I have no real means of healing HP for myself or my team.

This is a very sad state of affairs.

Would a planned out build path help that much? Well, yes. If I've got enough abilities with enough utility, I shouldn't be kicking myself for failing to account for something that happened, which is primarily the field of jutsu known, not so much perks. Skills I'm going to max out anyway, so there's not much point in worrying about _wasting_ them, per se.

I've used perks 2, 4 and 6. I have 22 more perks to go before I run out. I have an increase in Luck, Silent Jutsu and Educated. The perks I want are _Almost Perfect_ , _Taijutsu Enthusiast_ , _Ninja_ , _Paralyzing Palm_ , _Chakra Siphon_ , and _Toughness_.

Almost Perfect because it's broken, Taijutsu Enthusiast because it makes my unarmed damage scale better, Ninja to make my punches go through someone a quarter of the time rather than a tenth, Paralyzing Palm to make Neji feel short-man's envy, Chakra Siphon because most ninja without chakra are hopeless and toughness because that could easily save my life.

Another good perk I could get would be _Stone Wall_ as a defensive measure against people who toss their enemies around to help win fights. That would have to be after I get Almost Perfect to raise both my strength and endurance above the appropriate levels.

Now for the other 15 perks to use.

 _Sealless Jutsu_ was a thing. It took 85 Ninjutsu, Genjutsu and Chakra Control, as well as a level of 40. It also had the prerequisite perk of _One Handed Jutsu_ , which did exactly what I thought it should: Do hand signs with one hand. Being able to use jutsu with only the slightest possible warning for anyone is something that fills me with joy. This surprisingly had a level restriction of level 16, as well has 60 Chakra Control, Ninjutsu and Genjutsu.

Another perk _One Handed Jutsu_ unlocked was _A Jutsu on Each Hand_ , which meant I could do separate jutsu on each hand, with 100 Ninjutsu, Genjutsu and Chakra Control along with a level restriction of 46. This meant that I could do two jutsu at once, without seals.

I thought the image for that perk being a Vault-Ninja doing jutsu with a third arm that grew out of his stomach to be hilarious. And possibly foreshadowing.

Okay, that's three more perks I can get. Twelve more to go.

Another perk to get is _Adamantium Skeleton_ , which according to the description, makes my bones unbreakable and increases unarmed damage because I'm hitting them without any fear of breaking my bones (in other words; harder). I'm surprised it doesn't simply reduce my limb damage, but I guess there's more ways to cripple a limb than just breaking a bone. Like severing tendons.

The only requirement is level 14, so I've got seven levels to go before I grab that.

 _Ninjutsu_ and _Genjutsu Enthusiast_ do what _Taijutsu Enthusiast_ does and increase their effectiveness by 10%. I actually really like these perks and will probably get them when I see nothing else to get. I need 25 of Ninjutsu and Genjutsu to get their respective perks, so I qualify for _Taijutsu Enthusiast_ and _Ninjutsu_ _Enthusiast_ , but not for _Genjutsu._

That can be fixed.

Now, for the Fuinjutsu Perks.

Fuinjutsu is so insanely overpowered I thought it would mostly be saved for late game. That was really just my own laziness talking, looking back on it. So naturally, there's perks for it. _Chakra Seals_ allows me to create and/or use seals without blood. It has a _Fuinjutsu_ requirement of 50 and a level requirement of 10.

I don't have a Fuinjutsu of 50, that would take another level and almost all of my skill points. Not sure focusing like that would be worth it, though if it _would_ be worth it for any skill, it would be Fuinjutsu.

Another Fuinjutsu perk is _Mail Bomber,_ which increases the explosion radius of explosive notes, but that one seems underwhelming. So I won't be getting that one.

 _Tattooed Armory_ was an interesting perk. Fuinjutsu requirement of 45, but it made the effects of seals placed on weapons and armor 15% more effective. So I'll be getting that. I have a pretty good idea of how to use it, too.

So, how many perks is that? 16? Alright. 6 more to go before I've got myself a good build path. How many perks am I going to get after 30? 5? I've got room for 5 more. Let's see if there's a good perk or two for Charisma…

 _Ferocious Loyalty_ 's a pretty good one. I go beneath half health like I did yesterday and my current team gets _massive_ boosts to their defenses. 50%, actually. Great way to make sure my team doesn't _die_ if I go down.

Then…heh. There's a perk called _The Will of Fire_.

Level 50. Requires 10 charisma, 100 Medicine and grants all nearby allies moderate health regeneration.

…

 _ **…HOLY # %!**_

That…that doesn't say 'team' or 'companions' or anything else. Just 'Allies'. That…I…can sustain an _ARMY_ with that perk! Or at very least a large task force. I... wow! This turns me into a literal heal-bus! Or Heal- _tank_ , actually.

 _No one_ will die on my watch.

It's perfect.

Shame its way up there on level 50. With a requirement of 10 Charisma, there's not a lot of room for Intensive training. Thankfully, I can probably use Fuinjutsu to make some pseudo-cybernetics for a permanent stat boost to qualify. That worked in the games, right?

Right.

Okay. Let's go back to Fuinjutsu-related perks…

 _Whitewash_ …YES. HECK YES. _Whitewash_ allows me to erase seals, depending on my skill level. While I doubt it's an instantaneous process unless it's way beneath my skill level, that would've made the previous mission a cake walk. Level 32, 100 Fuinjutsu. Makes sense for that kind of requirement, but removing someone else's seal, like a curse seal from existence is worth it.

And finally, there's _the_ elemental jutsu. It's surprisingly bare bones, actually.

 _Elemental Training: Allows for the use of one additional element without penalty_.

Which means…elemental jutsu is more tied up with my skills and affinities than actual perks. However, the first rank has a unique requirement, _Unlock First Element_ , alongside 20 Ninjutsu. The second rank has forty Ninjutsu and the first rank of the perk as prerequisite.

So…putting them in order. Taijutsu Enthusiast, Chakra Seals, Toughness, Tattooed Armory, One Handed Jutsu, Paralyzing Palm, Ninja, Adamantium Skeleton, Ninjutsu Enthusiast, Two ranks of Elemental training in a row over levels 26 and 28 _ **, Almost Perfect**_ , Stone Wall, Chakra Siphon, Ferocious Loyalty, Whitewash, Sealless Jutsu, The last two ranks of Elemental Training, A Jutsu in Each Hand, Genjutsu Enthusiast as a tentative place holder, then finally Will of Fire.

I got my skill increase mapped out, too. Over the next few levels, I'll focus on getting my Ninjutsu and Genjutsu up to sixty to get _One Handed Jutsu_ , then focus on getting Melee Weapons and Sneak up for Ninja. I already have the Taijutsu for Paralyzing Palm so I don't need to worry about that for now.

After that, I'll grab Adamantium Skeleton and the two ranks of Elemental Training since I will undoubtedly have the prerequisites for it by then. Surely. At that point, I'll have the requisites for everything except for _Will of Fire_ and I hope I'll be able to improvise with Seals to give me the perfect 10 Charisma for the perk.

Gosh, having 10 Charisma is going to be so strange after a life of having it be my dump stat.

 _Focus._

Okay, that's the perks. The list might change as I go on my play through, but the core remains the same. Now what's my plan for getting new Jutsu? Ask Kakashi _and_ go to Konoha's Library. As a Genin, I have access to additional training material and jutsu, so I will probably either get new jutsu from there or failing that, some skill books so I don't have to focus so heavily on various areas.

As my Ninjutsu and Genjutsu get higher, I'll need to start reverse-engineering jutsu I _know_ exist as well as come up with defenses, not just for myself, but for my team.

Final question, what to do with Fuinjutsu? Well as my last mission showed me, creating seals that can absorb chakra is possible, so there's some defensive options against Ninjutsu _and_ Genjutsu. I'll need to work on that. Also from that mission, it's possible to replicate the effects of Bijuu and jutsu. So if I'm right, it can pull off modified effects.

I had this idea. I'd put seals on my gloves and what they would do is they would create miniature constructs, using shadow clones as an example. They wouldn't be very intelligent, only capable to following three instructions.

These instructions being: First, come into being. Second, Shunshin their way to the organs of my enemies. Third, explode. Basically homing bullets, but since I think they might just pierce their way through without transmitting a lot of the stopping power to the enemy, they'll explode on impact. Or maybe a little after impact. I'd need to test it.

Basically, I'd turn my gloves into twin Uzi's that spit rockets. Not entirely sure how effective it would be, but it'd give me a ranged option since I'm terrible at kunai.

As for jutsu, besides needing to figure out Shadow Clones, I need the Mystical Palm technique, either for myself or for my teammates, depending on the situation to add some sustain. Also some form of defensive technique, either water or earth wall, perhaps using fire to make a smoke screen or make a wind wall or _something_.

As for maneuverability, I wonder if I can adjust Kawarimi to substitute me with air as opposed to a random log? It wouldn't be the _Flying Thunder God_ since that thing's got pure distance, but for short-range tactics, it might work. Assuming it's even possible. Maybe substitute with a wind-clone?

…actually, I'm still trying to figure out how the Kawarimi even works and why it's an E-rank. Probably shouldn't touch it until I can figure it out.

Okay. First things first, what am I going to do today?

Well, first the meeting with Kakashi in less than an hour. I'll ask Kakashi for jutsu at the meeting and see what he says, then I'll head over to the hot springs and crack water-walking for some quick EXP, then it's off to the library for me.

* * *

Surprisingly, I wasn't the first one to the Memorial Stone. Kakashi had me beat even though I arrived a solid ten minutes early. But then, I guess since the Memorial Stone was where he spent all his time, it's not _that_ surprising.

"Kakashi-sensei," I said in greeting.

"Daisuke-kun," Kakashi eye-smiled at my approach. "You're early."

"So are you," I replied. I felt a little awkward, since he was most likely mourning his friend Obito's death and I was intruding. "…don't let me interrupt. I'll go take a nap in a tree or something."

I could ask for jutsu later.

"Okay," Kakashi went back to what he was doing.

I walked up a tree and…hey! There's a lake over there. Shoot, I'll just crack water-walking right now.

I jumped off the tree with everything I had and ran fast. I got ready to throw chakra in my feet as I approached the shore. I leaped up as high as I could and got ready for a feet-first landing.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/45._

 _+300 EXP._

Stuck it.

Haha, this is awesome!

I did a back-flip from my hands, laughing like a maniac as I bounced, leaped and otherwise enjoyed being able to run and slide across the water. I briefly posed like a guy on water-skis while I slid before stopping.

Because once you got over the novelty, it was just bouncing on a flat surface. Kind of a shame.

You know, if I could spread out the impact over a wider surface or strengthened the surface tension beneath me, I might be able to turn this body of water into a _wicked_ trampoline.

But as it stands, I might need a jutsu to do that and…hold on, _snake-dragon-dog…_

 _Ninjutsu Check Failed: 30/75._

Ah, darn it. Oh well.

I looked to the shore. Nichiren and Hisako were both standing there. Nichiren was waving his arms, Hisako was kind of just standing there. I imagine they were fairly shocked. I sped over to them like a speedboat. "Hey."

"That was incredible!" Nichiren shouted in glee.

"Thanks," I said, walking ashore.

"You figure that out by yourself too?" Hisako asked with a frown.

"Yes. Yes, I did," I nodded. Wait, was she mad?

 _Perception Check Success: 8/7._

She's not just mad. She's… _envious_? Of me? Huh. "Is there a problem?"

"No, just…" Hisako looked away, her gaze wandering before finally settling on Kakashi. "Kakashi-sensei, you had training for us?"

"Yes I did," Kakashi responded without missing a beat. He withdrew several sheets of paper from who knows where and handed them to us. We walked over to the memorial stone, and sat down. Kakashi was in front of the stone, and the three of us were across from him in a line.

This was clearly a report form. Lines for where my name was to go, where the name of the mission and a large box where we were meant to describe what happened. Kakashi was going through an explanation about each part of the sheet I only partially paid attention too.

When he finished, my hand went up.

"Yes, Daisuke?" Kakashi asked me.

"Where it asks for a mission report, does that include what we saw in the cells?" I asked with a frown.

"Not necessarily," Kakashi answered with a shrug. "You could just put that you were trapped in a hell viewing jutsu. But if any of you need someone to talk too, you can always rely on your team. Me especially."

Oh. Whew. Okay, I was really paranoid there for a second that I would have to come up with a story that didn't involve Vertibirds or _Liberty Prime_ but was true enough to not set off anyone's lie detection senses.

But that raised other questions. Is there no psychological care in Konoha? Probably not, now that I think about it. The various quirks and stuff that arise in everyone's personality imply a 'take care of it yourself' approach. And given how much death they see and the mere _presence_ of Genjutsu, that kind of care might not be feasibly possible, what with ninja's sheer paranoid mistrust of someone like that and the kind of target a therapist would be painting on their back.

Seriously, you want to break a shinobi? _Kidnap his therapist_.

That was just disheartening, though. There had to be something that could be done…heck, maybe that could be my shtick later in life when I'm maximum level, bored and impossible to kill. That'd be really _cool_ actually.

I wouldn't be at Naruto's level of _therapy no jutsu_ , but the more practitioners on the side of good, the better, right?

I just realized everyone was really quiet.

Kakashi was waiting for one of us to break the silence, burst the dam and get everyone talking. I could see it easily. As much as I like getting the first word in, I didn't want to say anything right now. But-

"I was got transported to an entrance to a maze," Hisako started, not looking at any of us. "I…saw my parents get dragged in there by _something_ , I don't remember what it was, and it…was my job to rescue them."

Ooh. She got plopped in a survival horror game. Yikes. It was times like this that I remembered that my teammates were kids. Twelve year olds. Child soldiers. I was an adult...even if I didn't look like it. My job to protect them just took on another dimension.

I already feel terrible.

"The maze was filled with…monsters," Hisako gulped and…yeah, she had tears rolling down her cheeks. "They were like walking corpses…stabbing them or slicing them didn't do anything since they were already dead and I didn't know anything else."

She devolved into sobs. Kakashi was there in a second, comforting and reassuring her.

"I can't just pull jutsu out of nowhere," She said in between heaves. "I'm not D-a genius. I can't pull jutsu from nowhere."

I am a massive $#%#$. An unforgivably lazy $# % that nearly got these kids killed.

She eventually settled down, wiping tears away on her arm.

Nichiren decided to start. "I found myself in a ruined Konoha. It was in complete shambles and everyone was just fending for themselves. I got assigned to… _requisition_ supplies."

He was holding tears back too. My hearts breaking for my team.

"I went into a ruined store and there, huddling behind the counters were my parents," Nichiren said, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "I…was being asked to steal from my parents for the good of the village."

Ooh. He was really feeling this divide between the village and his family, wasn't he?

"I couldn't do it," He said, blanching something awesome. "I fought against the team I was with to protect my mom and dad. I…failed. I couldn't protect my _precious people_."

There were those words again.

"They were executed for treason," Nichiren was starting to lose it. "I was next, and then…"

He lost it. Hisako took his hand. Kakashi wrapped an arm around his shoulders and this time-

 _-Perception Check Success: 8/8-_

-I could hear what was being said.

"Nichiren," Kakashi intoned. "I know you've been under a lot of pressure from both sides…but those who abandon their precious people for the mission are worse than trash. If that had happened…you would have done the right thing and I would've been right beside you."

Nichiren took a breath. "R-really?"

"Really," Kakashi eye-smiled.

In another life, I would've rolled my eyes at how touchy-feely this all was.

To that I say; _shut up other me. You don't know anything_.

Naturally, they turned toward me. I…suppose sharing would be the appropriate thing to do. But I'm a terrible liar and my speech is still not high enough for me to feel comfortable lying about it. It wouldn't help me anyway if I _did_ lie about it.

The thought to come clean arrived and was viciously strangled upon birth. So…I just finished my report in as bare terms as I could conceivably do so and stood up.

"I'm sorry," I said to my team as I handed Kakashi my report. "But I don't feel like talking about what happened right now."

"Daisuke…" Nichiren looked worried.

"This isn't the time to be anti-social!" Hisako snapped, her voice still hoarse from her cry. "You can't just crawl into your shell again! Not after what we went through!"

"Sorry," I replied with a shrug. "But I like my shell."

The thing about having such a high Taijutsu skill was that attacks from people with an obviously lower skill from you were _painfully_ telegraphed. Hisako, of course, like all good women from anime, wanted to punch me for being stupid. I probably deserved it, to boot. But alas, I didn't feel like losing a tooth.

So, I caught the punch and threw her onto the ground as _gently_ as I could have managed. With that, I started to walk away.

"Daisuke," Kakashi said, and I turned. I saw that he had Hisako, who had gotten up for another attack, by the shoulder. "When you're ready to talk, we'll all be here. Alright?"

"Sure," I said, with a bow. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."

* * *

First things first, check the library.

I headed over there first, marching through the academy doors. I checked the academy level, and found that there were no new books. Considering that books were much harder to produce than in my old world, I wasn't that surprised.

Marching up the stairs to the level reserved for Genin was a different story. The shelves were lined with books and scrolls and a pre-eminent examination revealed what were likely skill books, as well as some very interesting scrolls filled with jutsu.

I showed my ID card to the Chunin on duty, a bored shinobi who I didn't recognize, or care to learn about…maybe later.

Of skill books, there were _5_. _4_ of them were for **Chakra Control**. I face palmed with each one, each louder than the last, until I finally got a _shush_. The last one was for **Sneak** _,_ bringing it up to **18**.

The real treasures, of course were the jutsu. The first one was _Demonic Illusion: Hellviewing Technique,_ which was a chakra control requirement of _20_ and a _Genjutsu_ requirement of _15_.

I barely held in my manic, dark laughter, biting my knuckle to avoid getting thrown out of the library. Out of all the techniques I could've learned, it had to be _this_ one.

 _+150 EXP_.

1,920 EXP until I level.

The shelves held surprisingly few secrets. Most of the good jutsu, like fireballs or electrical jutsu were either in the C-rank section further up the stairs, or the property of other villages, and thus were either simply not available, even higher than C-rank, or locked away in the Uchiha compound.

…would I really risk raiding the Uchiha compound for a fireball? A place probably watched like a hawk by Anbu, guarded by ancient defenses and probably pilfered clean by enterprising shinobi that were given a happy fun-time tour of T&I for their lack of respect?

Probably. Would need a higher Sneak skill though.

I haven't even _seen_ Sasuke yet. But maybe that's for the best.

The next jutsu that I _did_ find, though? _Shunshin_.

 _+150 EXP._

1770 EXP.

YES. This will come in handy, I didn't even have to do the minor amount of work to figure it out for myself!

…

Suddenly, this seems much less okay than before.

Whatever, this just means I need to come up with some of the better jutsu for myself.

This talk of jutsu brings to mind elemental chakra.

What was the test for it, some chakra-sensitive paper that you funneled chakra into? I wonder what it'll do when I funnel chakra into it. Find my element? Is that something I can decide or something decided by the RNG? Maybe I don't have an element.

I had this amusing image of the paper simply sitting in my hand, doing nothing but in its mind asking in horror exactly what I _was_. This turned less amusing when I figured that Kakashi or someone else might be _watching_ and questions might be asked.

So, that made my next objective clear.

Get some chakra-paper and get my affinity tested. Figure out contingencies if something bizarre happens. Obtain some drugs and alcohol and break my double-lifetime prohibition on both of these things for the additional charisma to lie since my life would literally depend on it.

I hope that won't be necessary, though.

I thanked the librarian on my way out and headed into market. Using my newfound _Shunshin_ , I was off like a rocket, flying over rooftops with a loud whoop at the top of my lungs. I momentarily got distracted by what I was supposed to do, but since I _knew_ I could soften my landings now, I landed without a fuss.

Sadly, I knew that seeing things while using the Shunshin wasn't really possible until I slowed down. Wasn't the Sharingan required for that? It was. I hope that my stats getting more powerful as I level will eventually be a good substitute.

But in any case, I needed to focus.

Using Shunshin judiciously, I was able to visit stores meant for shinobi fairly quickly, until at last I found a store that possessed chakra paper. Having cashed in the A-rank mission vouchers earlier, I had more than enough to buy this priceless commodity.

The sheet I purchased was about the size of a regular sheet of paper, but I knew upon contact that it was different. It seemed to want suck chakra into it, grasping at the thin wisps that danced their way from my fingers.

But I needed to be smart about this.

I stowed it away and headed home, using a Shunshin to leap more than half-way there in a single bound. I ran up the apartment building, said hi to the landlord on my way, and closed my apartment door behind me.

First things first, I don't need to use all of my paper at once. Small dent in my wallet or no, it was expensive. I used a shuriken to cut it into evenly spaced strips for storage. I grasped one between my index finger and thumb and, to its delight, I channeled my chakra into it.

The world around me grayed out as the paper started to glow. A green window appeared.

 _Choose an Element_ it said, with a menu for lightning, fire, wind, earth and water below it.

Ah, well. That's convenient. Absurdly broken to boot.

My first instinct was to pick Fire. But I held off on it, as I needed to think about it. This was a decision that was both remarkably large and significantly more forgiving than my _SPECIAL_ allocation. I needed something that I could picture myself using in more ways than one, was easily taken advantage of _and_ I would be happy with.

Well, I had Kakashi as a sensei, so anything was probably easily taken advantage of. As for happy with, the decision really came down to fire and lightning. I loved both of those quite a bit. As for its usage, that was harder. Fire meant smoke screens, explosions, burning things and jet engines, in theory. Lightning meant _freaking lightning_ , absurdly high temperature, shockwave inducing death rays from the heavens above. It also meant magnetism, paralysis to the point of instant death in some cases, and all of this applicable though touch, making it the deadliest static electricity imaginable.

And even if I choose one or the other, it's not like jutsu from one is locked from me forever. Just penalized until the appropriate perks.

What to decide.

There's also the various combinations to consider. Combine fire with, say, air and I can create _firestorms_. Combine lightning with water, and I wouldn't be surprised if I could create weaponized _storm clouds_.

Well…how to decide.

Fire, for all its explosions, also tends to burn things, which is a long, drawn out way to kill someone that's…frankly, inhumane. Some people might deserve it, but lightning would kill faster and be less risky, I think.

So, I picked lightning.

The world went back to normal, and the paper in my fingers crumpled.

 _+1000_ EXP.

Wow.

 _Wow_.

Really?

770 EXP until I level.

That makes me feel good. Really, really good. Let's go see if I can earn level 8 by figuring out some jutsu.

With that, I leapt out the window with a Shunshin, getting better at orienting myself at landing as I got used to it, and zoomed all the way to training ground 7.

It was just a basic training ground. A few targets and sparring dummies strewn about.

First jutsu I wanted to test? Well, I wanted to try a fire jutsu, just to see how much the penalty was for not having the Fire element. I don't think I know enough to reverse engineer Sasuke's famous fireballs, but I had another idea.

A smoke screen.

See, when you spend too much chakra on a jutsu, you get a smoke-screen. However, this smoke rarely, if ever, lasts long enough to make a difference and doesn't cause much lung damage. I want a beefed up version. One that obscures vision for at least an hour and burns my enemies' lungs…while not burning my own lungs.

So…let's see…tiger, snake, rat…

I brought up the chakra through my lungs while I took a deep breath and…let loose a deep breath.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/15._

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 30/20._

 _+150 EXP._

The field in front of me was obscured by black smoke that was alight by glowing embers and sparks in the cloud. I smirked and cancelled the jutsu. The smoke rapidly faded and I saw that the grass beneath it was smoldering and partially burned.

…yeah. That'll do it. Walking through that without some form of protection could be lethal, or at least permanently debilitating. I'll name this _Burning Smokescreen._

Next up, the main event. Lightning jutsu. Deadly static electricity. Grab them to taze them. As if my Taijutsu needs to be any deadlier…good to have options, I suppose. Let's see…ox, dragon, bird…

My hands cackled with electrical power, the currents arcing between my fingers with the oddest tickling sensation.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/15._

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 30/5._

 _+150 EXP._

Barely felt or saw a drain, as opposed to the smoke, which took out almost half. It's not even that difficult, though. Next, let's try extending it through my chakra strings. Shouldn't be difficult, right?

I stuck a kunai down in the ground and attached a chakra-string to the ring at the end. I added a boar in the middle and a monkey at the end and lightning was traveling through my chakra strings. Nice! I'll name that one _Chakra Taser_. Simple and effective.

Okay, let's see if I can do something like a thunder-clap. Something to deafen foes in an area. Channel chakra into my palms…dragon, monkey, bird…

I brought my hands into a clap and…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/25._

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 30/25._

 _+150 EXP._

It was like an explosion went off in my palms, it was so loud. It was even accompanied by electrical discharge, which was awesome. I stood there, frozen, waiting for someone to come investigate the noise. No one did, so I guess that jutsu practice was common. Or that I was already being watched since I got here. That wasn't a pleasant thought, but it's not like I'd be able to avoid being watched if that was the case.

 _Thunderclap_. The name was quick and simple.

320 EXP until level 8.

I needed three more jutsu and it didn't matter what they were, really. I could try a more traditional lightning attack, but I can already tell that I might not have the skill level to figure it out. I mean, Iruka's dolphin jutsu was beyond me, so some of the more fun jutsu was locked behind skill, if I had to guess.

So, maybe an Earth jutsu? Let's try throwing some of the rocks around. Ox, Rat, Monkey…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/20._

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 30/25._

 _+150 EXP._

Four rocks picked up and flew toward a target, most missing, but one hitting dead center. Wow, my bar went to below half like with the smoke screen. That won't be something I'm using for a while. If ever. An option, I guess. _Stone Shot?_ Is that a name? I'll just call it that until I come up with a better one. If ever.

…alright, whatever. Let's try a wind technique, just to see what it does. A simple gust should do. So…bird, dragon, horse…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/25._

 _Ninjutsu Check Failure: 30/35._

My chakra went near empty and I felt only the slightest of gusts trace itself across my outstretched hands. _Gust of Wind? Get all Pokemon? I'll call it Gust of Wind._

 _+150 EXP._

20 EXP. One more jutsu.

…let's try another ranged lightning attack.

This one would be more like a closed net of electrical discharge, clumped together to seek a target to shock the crap out of. Simple. Probably above me, but as the last Wind Jutsu shown me, that doesn't matter in the slightest. So…here we go. Bird, Dragon, Horse…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/30._

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 30/30._

 _+150 EXP._

It was like making a ball out of chakra strings that had beautiful electric currents rushing through them. I was entranced by it, my wide eyes taking in every detail. I threw it at the target, and it hit square in the center, leaving it a blackened, scorched cinder.

 _Yes._

 _Yesyesyes._

 _Oh my yes!_

 **Dum-dum-dum-Dum!**

 _ **Level Up!**_

I had a plan to how I was going to allocate my skill points. This plan let me use most of my new toys much more effectively right now, actually. I sunk **10** points into **Fuinjutsu** and **Ninjutsu,** bringing them up to **40** and **39** respectively. The remaining **3** going straight to **Speech** , making it **33**.

The perk I planned was **Taijutsu Enthusiast,** increasing the damage and magnitude of my Taijutsu by 10%. I took it.

Whew.

This level took like no time at all. I haven't even _touched_ seals yet. Getting more powerful shouldn't take much longer at all.

…I won't let those kids…my team…my _friends,_ die on my watch. I _swear_ it.

* * *

 _Authors Note: This chapter was written primarily to deal with some critique that Daisuke wasn't planning out his build properly. Naturally, things changed as he leveled and grew but now we've got a plan.  
_

 _Sort of._


	14. Dinner and a Tree-walk

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 _ **Level Up!**_

 **Level 10.**

Well, my furlough passed quickly enough. I put a grand total of **16** points into Ninjutsu, bringing it up to 55, since I've realized that every single check was a multiple of five. A grand total of **18** points into Melee Weapons, bringing it up to 35 in preparation for the _Ninja_ perk. **10** points into Fuinjutsu at level 9 and **2** points into it at level 10, bringing it up to **52**.

I also took Chakra Seals, which allow me to make seals without ink and use them without blood. It's broken, as far as I'm concerned.

I've stopped keeping track of all the jutsu I've invented. Enough for _6250 EXP_ points. This just shows something that frankly baffles my mind: I can do almost whatever the heck I want as far as jutsu is concerned. My only limit is skills, and that's not much of a limit.

I acquired some explosive notes and storage scrolls over the past two weeks and managed to reverse engineer them to make my own. Turns out that explosive notes only work by, and it's hurting my brain to think of it like this, but they work by sealing explosions for later use. Specifically, a C-rank suicide technique, into the seal. I guess it makes sense considering what I know now, but it's dashed my hopes and dreams.

So on the plus side, I know the jutsu and figured out how to make a better one. Also, the ability to make my own storage scrolls is rapidly turning out to be priceless, since as long as I have the storage scroll on my person, the scroll and the items inside count as being in my inventory, and can be accessed through my black book.

However, my dreams of 'seals as reality warping computers' have nearly come to a screeching halt and so, I'm going to have to rethink my 'chakra missiles' from the ground up. I'm mostly just trying to bring a bit of my childhood…well, the first one… to the game.

Replicating Isaac's Greater Missile Storm is something of a pet project. I'm starting to think I can use the Rasengan as the basis for the missiles, but I need to make them seek out their targets. Maybe an overlay of chakra over the ball that propels it forward? I still need to figure out how the chakra manages to hold its shape without hand seals telling it to do so. That's the biggest innovation about that ball of power, really.

But as far as triumphs of my childhood are concerned, I can do Sith Lightning now. Because _Star Wars_.

 _I don't need any other reason._

Still trying to figure out how to turn it into _Force Storm_ but when I do, I think it'll be worth it.

I haven't seen either of my teammates over the past few weeks, but then I haven't really been looking for them either. I think Hisako might be over my sucker punch to the team-building exercise two weeks ago, but maybe that's just me hoping. I have no clue what Nichiren's doing.

Today we were supposed to meet up again in the morning at training ground _1_ , as opposed to number 3 which I think may be so Kakashi-sensei can be late like he normally is. I can respect that, since judging people's quirks is the last thing that I, of all people, should be doing.

I was leaning against one of the training posts, still going over my options in the perk-list in my notebook. The breeze was fairly pleasant against my face and I saw the grass shift around me in the wind. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and it otherwise seemed…peaceful.

This meant that I was bored, sadly. To wait, or not to wait? I…I guess I'm not waiting, as Hisako just entered the training ground.

Her head was hanging, her face looking downcast. Her long black hair was tied up in its usual ponytail, with a pair of locks framing the sides of her face. I could see from the insides of her dark jacket that she was loaded up on senbon and shuriken. She wore boots that went up to her shins, but they were un-armored.

…wait, I didn't know she could use senbon. Huh. Someone _has_ been training. I approve.

Hisako looked up at me as she approached and offered a half-hearted smile and wave as greeting.

I waved back with a smile of my own.

We sat there for a couple awkward moments, before I went back to my book. Huh, _Unstoppable_ is a thing? Oh, but it's a level 50 perk. A chance to avoid all damage from an attack that scales-

Hisako sighed and sat down to my left.

-with luck. Really cool, but I'd need to sacrifice _Will of Fire_ for that. It'd be pretty awesome if I could conceivably go into fight by myself with no teammates, but going into as many fights with teammates as I can will ensure that I'm there to keep everyone alive with our enemies dead.

"So," Hisako paused. "Daisuke."

"What?" I looked at her quizzically.

Hisako looked at me back, taking a breath before continuing. "You have a right to be angry."

She lost me.

"And I'm sorry about trying to hit you," Hisako let out the breath she was holding. "For not…respecting…that you don't want to talk about what happened back at the house."

Oh, That. Right. Should I be mad at that? I should not be mad at that. She didn't actually hit me for one, and I _was_ the one who tanked the group-bonding exercise. That and the house part was _technically_ my fault since that Root Agent was targeting me specifically.

…though I do have reservations about the 'Root and Danzo evulz' being the entire explanation, to be perfectly honest. I'm betting on human error also playing a factor…

"So…I just…yeah," Hisako finished lamely, turning on the ground to not face me. "…I'm sorry."

I blinked and went back to my book. Then I closed it and stuck it in my back pocket. "I'm not mad."

"Yes you are," Hisako frowned, looking back at me. "I can hear it in your voice, Daisuke. It's called a tone of voice."

"I think you're confusing angry for confused," I replied, getting a little irate for real. Stupid 4 Charisma. It's still better than _1_ but I still have terrible issues with my social skills. It makes me feel that the Henge only increases my appearance some days.

"Well, I don't think so," Hisako's increasing frustration pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," I shrugged, pulling my book out with a plan in case she tried to hit me again.

"I-You-Grrr…" Her frustration started to spike and…she stood up and walked away, kicking a training post on the way before sitting behind it. Then she groaned in irritation with a twinge of regret.

Well, that was weird. Smoother than I hoped, though. Any other perks I could find a use for. Ninja, I'm actually wondering about. On the one hand, it'll help my Taijutsu a _lot_. On the other hand, it needs melee weapons as a requirement. I'm literally never going to use melee weapons, meaning I'm dumping 80 some-odd skill points into a skill I'll never otherwise use except for some specific situations.

So maybe there's a better perk I can use? I…ugh…I need to fix things up with Hisako. My gut's not going to stop bothering me until I do.

So let's be _careful_ with my voice modulation here. "So…I'm really not mad, Hisako."

"You don't need to lie to make me feel better," Hisako called back from behind her stump. "I know I screwed up."

"That doesn't mean I'm mad," I replied with a frown. "You didn't hit me, I tanked a team-bonding moment…seriously. All is forgiven, if that's what you want to hear."

"It's not about what I want to hear," Hisako argued back. "It's about making things right for a teammate I disrespected."

C'mon, let's try to use my speech skill here… "I don't feel disrespected, though. Really. Nichiren, Kakashi-sensei and yourself were all having a really healthy group-therapy session. One that I opted out of in a really bad way. Emotions were high and I recognize that. I don't fault you for any of that. I might've wanted to hit me in your shoes."

Hisako was quiet. Until she offered a single, barked-out laugh. "I swear, even when you're saying the right things, it sounds forced."

Is that her anger talking or my crappy charisma talking? "Sorry."

"Ah no," Hisako sounded startled. "That's not what I meant. I'm trying to apologize to you."

"Apology accepted?" I said, wanting this to be over and for us to be friends again already.

Hisako sighed, sounding a little miserable. "Just forget it."

Oh, great. This was going to haunt me for the next few days, I could tell. It's times like this that I think I really screwed up going for a natural 1 charisma. This just makes me ache more for Almost Perfect, which is tens of thousands of EXP away for me. There's only so much jutsu I can pull out of my rear before I run out of ideas. Or into problems.

Nichiren came into view a few minutes later. His own black hair was cut short and his glasses were thick and square. He seemed hunched over and nervous, more so than usual. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his baggy pants. The kunai holster on his leg was filled, obviously, and he carried some slightly worn storage scrolls on the back of his belt.

Huh, seems like he's been training more too. Nice. Also, I just noticed that I'm the only one on my team with brown hair. Odd, because brown hair was one of the most common in my old life. Now I'm the only one I know with it out of the people I know.

…the things you notice with bigger perception score.

I like it, actually.

"Hey, Hisako. Daisuke," Nichiren waved to each of us in turn.

"Hey Nichiren," Hisako replied.

"Hello," I said in return.

Nichiren swallowed. "So…my mom wanted to invite you guys over for dinner tonight. Do you guys have any plans? She said she'd love to have the both of you. She even invited Sensei."

"Sure, I can come," Hisako agreed immediately.

"I…don't know," I confessed with a shrug.

"Oh. You have plans?" Nichiren asked.

"No, I just seriously doubt I'm the type of person you'd invite over for dinner," I answered truthfully. "I have no idea what table manners are involved, how to act and even if I did, it'd probably look forced or something."

Hisako made a noise of discomfort. I craned my neck to see if she was okay. She _looked_ fine.

"My mom knows you have trouble talking to people," Nichiren said. Then he looked mortified at having let that slip. "I mean, she knows you're an amazing shinobi and how you helped save our lives so I thought it'd be fair to let her know that you have…difficulty socializing. She said she wants to have you over anyway."

I blinked. Once. Twice.

"You know, if you don't want me around you can just say so," I said with a frown. "I know I scare you half to death, no need to suffer on my account."

"No, no! That's not it," Nichiren started to back pedal. "I-I just didn't know how you'd react to an…invitation from someone that you've never met before. I wasn't sure if you'd say yes since you don't really act like a normal person."

Hisako hissed in alarm and a little bit of anger. Nichiren's eyes went wide as he inserted his foot into his mouth with all the force of a train.

For my part, I simply snorted and went back to my book. "Ain't that the truth."

Everything simple fell into an awkward silence. I could have sworn I felt the inklings of Killing Intent coming from Hisako aimed at Nichiren for his slip-up. Poor guy. I wish I knew how I could stop scaring the heck out of him. Or at very least help him man-up and not let me get to him so bad.

After about a half an hour, Nichiren impressed me by coming back around for a second try. "Sorry, Daisuke. I didn't mean to offend you."

"It's okay," I replied, looking at him.

"I am sorry and I wasn't kidding about my Mom wanting you over for dinner," Nichiren continued. "Could you…think the offer over, at least?"

"I think it'd be good to have you there," Hisako added, still behind the training post. "She invited the whole team, you know."

I guess it'll give me enough time to think about how to let them down gently before the time comes and I act like a slobbering caveman in a glass house. "I'll think about it."

"Thank you," Nichiren actually sounded relieved.

Huh. I misread that situation entirely. Whoops. "Sorry for being harsh, earlier."

Nichiren looked taken aback. "It's okay, Daisuke-san. I kn-uh, yeah. It's okay."

Nice save.

Things went back to a decidedly more comfortable silence. Hisako sounded like she was sharpening her kunai. Nichiren was actually painting a seal…what looked like an explosive tag.

"Careful you don't blow yourself up," I said to Nichiren.

"I know," Nichiren said, stopping what he was doing to look at me. "Kakashi-sensei was _very_ thorough when explaining how to make these."

"Kakashi-sensei taught you how to make explosive tags?" Hisako sounded a little hurt. "When do I get to learn how to make these?"

"I think soon," Nichiren replied. "Yesterday, he said I've caught up on everything I missed in the academy plus a little."

"That's awesome," Hisako replied. "So does that mean I get some personal, super awesome training soon, or do I have to wait in line behind Daisuke?"

"I can just pull jutsu out of the air," I said in affront to that. "I don't think I need special attention any time soon." _Or ever._

"Right," Hisako actually sounded annoyed at that, which didn't make sense to me.

Eventually, our sensei actually showed up, one hand in pocket, his face deeply engrossed in his erotica. Like usual, I felt a spike of irritation at the sight of the book. All the changes I've gone through and I'm still a horrible prude.

"Ah, my lovely little Genin," Kakashi eye-smiled, closing his book. "How was your furlough?"

"Pretty good, actually," I responded with a nod. "No real complaints."

Kakashi looked at me like I grew a second head for some reason. He only stopped when I think he understood that I was actually _me_. Weird. Maybe it's about the lack of missions?

"I got some good training in," Hisako stood up, shrugging her shoulders. "It was nice to get a break, though."

"It was great, Kakashi-sensei," Nichiren smiled. "Thanks for training me through it anyway."

"It was nothing," Kakashi eye-smiled. "I'm just happy to see how far you've come."

"So when's _my_ super special training," Hisako asked with an expectant look.

"Probably soon," Kakashi said. Then he sighed, looking at Hisako and myself. "I'm sorry if it feels like I've been neglecting the two of you. Training up Nichiren's been taking up most of my time."

"It's fine," Hisako said, waving off his concerns. "I'm just ready to learn something new is all."

"Well you'll get that today," Kakashi straightened out. "You know the tree-walking technique already, right?"

"Yup!" Hisako looked really happy.

"So today, I'm going to teach you the water-walking technique," Kakashi looked indifferent. "There's a pond out in the back of the training course. And before I forget…"

Kakashi turned to Nichiren as Hisako bolted for the aforementioned pond. "Nichiren, do you know the tree-walking technique?"

"No Sensei," Nichiren replied with an embarrassed smile. "Am I supposed too?"

"No, that's usually a technique reserved for Jounin to teach their Genin," Kakashi explained. "Hisako already learned it from her parents and Daisuke's…"

"I'm me," I supplied.

" _Yes,_ " Kakashi sounded a little exasperated. "You're you. Which is why you're going to be teaching Nichiren the tree-walking technique while I'm helping Hisako."

"What."

"Don't 'what' me," Kakashi sounded unusually tired. "With the way you pull jutsu out of the air, I'd have thought that you'd have a very in-depth understanding of how the Jutsus work. Am I wrong?"

"…not _really,_ " I muttered to myself. "I do know jutsu pretty well, yes."

"Well then you shouldn't have any trouble at all," Kakashi eye smiled and I got the distinct impression that he may have been trolling me. Or worse; trying to _train_ me. "Have fun, you two!"

He disappeared in a flurry of leaves and I saw him materialize over by the thicket that housed the pond, already giving Hisako the specialized instruction she craved.

I looked at Nichiren, who was looking at me with a mix of apprehension and maybe a little acceptance. "So, how do I do the technique?"

"It's actually pretty simple," I said, gesturing to the nearest tree and we started walking. "You send chakra through your limb of choice and anchor it to the surface you want to stick to. In the case of Konoha, a tree."

We arrived at the base of the tree. I was looking up at it and it seemed reasonably high. But I didn't want high right now.

"So how do I actually do that?" Nichiren asked, adjusting his glasses.

I explaining that from scratch doesn't seem like it would help…Oh, what's a good example…uh…oh. Yeah. "Remember the leaf-sticking exercise they had us all do in the academy?"

"You mean the one where you made the leaf dance across your arm for your own amusement?" Nichiren asked in turn.

"Oh yeah, I remember that," I reminisced, lost in a memory or two. "Anyway, that's what you want to do. Just scaled up."

"Wait, really?" Nichiren asked with a frown. "That's all there is to it?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, basically."

"I can do that," Nichiren smiled, putting a foot on the trunk. "Okay, now what?"

"Test the grip by trying to lift yourself up?" I offered, scratching the side of my head. "Gently, though. No jumping."

Nichiren nodded and his brow knitted together in concentration. The muscles in his leg tightened and…his leg slid right off the bark.

"Not enough chakra," I said.

"Okay," Nichiren pursed his lips into a thin line and stuck is leg on the trunk again. After a few seconds, he tried to lift himself up again and this time actually succeeded in sticking to the trunk. With a nervous laugh, Nichiren slowly brought his other leg up to the tree and fell from the trunk. I caught him before he landed on the dirt and stood him back up.

"You alright?" I asked, letting him go.

"Yeah," Nichiren nodded. "I'm fine."

"Good," I nodded. "Try again."

Nichiren nodded and took a deep breath, sticking his foot on the trunk.

This process repeated itself for several minutes. He would put his foot on, lift his foot other foot up, would almost get said foot on the trunk, or succeed in getting it on the trunk, only to slide off. I tried my best to remain quiet to avoid venting my frustration and making him feel bad. I mean, I am the adult here. Even if I don't look it.

Eventually, after I caught him, he just glared at the tree. "What am I doing wrong?"

I shrugged. "If you keep slipping off, that's a sign you aren't putting enough chakra into it."

"I'm not putting enough chakra into it?" Nichiren looked flabbergasted.

"Well, you can stick just fine until you start thinking about something else," I was partially thinking to myself here. "So you're probably just forgetting to pump chakra through the foot that's sticking while you're trying to do something else. You need a constant flow of chakra to stick, after all."

Nichiren blinked, frowned and nodded. He stuck one foot on the tree, and with his face screwed up in concentration, managed to stick the other one on the trunk.

The speech skill was a fantastic investment.

"I did it!" Nichiren threw both hands into the air then stopped himself from dropping onto the ground.

"That's awesome," I nodded in approval. "Now, can you walk up the tree?"

"…up the tree?" Nichiren sounded worried again.

"You can't say you've learned tree-walking until you can walk up the tree," I informed him, walking up the tree casually to demonstrate. "Just keep doing what you're doing and practice from there."

You know, this makes me wonder. From what I remember of the anime, the only person to get tree walking right off the bat was Sakura. Naruto and Sasuke both needed to do a parkour run up their trees during Wave Arc, if I recall. Was that kind of training more effective than what I'm doing? Does the fact that Nichiren's doing this rather successfully mean I'm a better teacher? Doubt it. It probably means that Nichiren's control is actually _really_ good.

He still hasn't moved though. Maybe I should've had him do the parkour-run instead?

I slid down next to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Nichiren answered. "Just…psyching myself up."

He's scared of something. Is he afraid of heights? I was afraid of heights in my old life. So I can understand that completely. "I'll head back down to catch you when you fall."

"Uh…" Nichiren stopped. Was that not it? "Thanks, I might need thaaaaa-"

I got down there first and caught him.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem."

Nichiren stood up.

"Maybe we should change tactics here," I replied. "You think you can run up this tree?"

"Run _up_ it?" Nichiren squawked, looking up the tree. "No."

You know, I'd thought that running up it would be harder to do; much more strenuous, difficult and probably better for training chakra control. Probably why Kakashi had Naruto and Sasuke do that the first time around. But…wait, Kakashi didn't do that. He simply taught them the jutsu and Naruto and Sasuke made it a competition. That's right. I think.

You know, the only thing that's stopped me from writing down what I remember is the fact that I live in a village of spies and that I'd have to burn anything I wrote when I was done. Writing the future would get me in trouble and writing in English would raise eyebrows at my non-existent cryptography training and would get me in the same kind of trouble. Actually, worse.

"It was just an idea," I shrugged. "I mean, you'd only have to have chakra in your foot as long as you were stepping off and it would accustom you to moving around while using the jutsu faster."

"Maybe," Nichiren allowed. "But I'd rather just be able to stick and learn to move first."

I shrugged. I actually would prefer that method myself if I were him. "Alright, go ahead."

It took a while. Nichiren would make a step or two, before falling off. I caught him every time-

- _-3 HP-_

-sometimes at my own expense, but eventually, as the sun rose to high noon, he got it. He started walking around the tree trunk, cheering louder with each passing step. I was pretty grateful I was able to circumvent my low Charisma by not saying a lot and letting him teach himself for the majority of this.

I munched on a candy-bar to bring back my lost health. "Nice work up there!"

"So, how's the tree walking jutsu?" Kakashi appeared right next to me.

"Nichiren's great," I replied, swallowing my candy. "His chakra control is pretty good."

"Well," Kakashi eye-smiled at me. "I'm pleasantly surprised by this turn of events."

I shrugged. "I didn't have to say much, which is probably for the best. I just gave him an example and he taught himself."

"He is fairly intelligent," Kakashi nodded. "So, are you going to dinner with the Nakamura's?"

"I was thinking not," I replied, a cold shiver going down my spine. "Again, I work best when I don't have to say much."

"Well we might want to start working on that," Kakashi eye smiled. "I think you should come with us."

" _Why_?" I asked with a deep frown. "I don't see why this is something I need to work on."

"Because as a shinobi, you might be hired to escort someone like a merchant or even the _Diamyo_ ," Kakashi answered, becoming much more serious. "We can't have a shinobi as socially inept as you messing things up for clients."

"So I just won't take any escort missions," I shrugged. No love lost there, really. Escort missions were the worst and it didn't matter what game it was. _Reverse_ escort missions, naturally, were the best thing ever. Nearly every mission involving Liberty Prime was a reverse escort mission. They were _glorious_. "I don't see the big deal."

"Okay," Kakashi started switching tactics in his head, I can tell. "But you're also going to be a future clan leader with your bloodline. You don't want to mess up your posterities chances because you never trained to be a better diplomat, right?"

He had me. I knew it and I think he knew it. But I wasn't going to go down without a fight. "The Aburame's seem to be doing fine."

"They are also a fully established and respected clan," Kakashi replied. I could hear him getting exasperated. "You, by yourself, are not."

I didn't want to go. Nichiren was scared of me and I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of his folks. I mostly tried to avoid socializing for a reason, after all. And I respected what Kakashi was trying to do. The question was if I was really willing to humor him and my team and spend a few hours trying to pointlessly increase my social skills. Especially since I can be inventing jutsu or looking for skill-checks to pass to increase my level and actually improve my social skills with my scaling Charisma.

…my life is really weird right now.

"Think of it this way," Kakashi said. "You'll be showing support for your teammate."

Why did I hear a bit of doubt in his voice? Whatever. "Fine, I'll go."

"You will?" Kakashi blinked in disbelief. Then he eye-smiled. "That's good to hear! I look forward to seeing you there."

* * *

I made sure to buy new clothes. Biggest charisma bonus I could find, which was +4. So, I was currently rocking an 8 charisma with no armor, with my belt sticking around my waist like the irremovable pip-boys of yore. I considered bringing them with me on missions, but whether changing into them manually or fishing through my book, switching would take time.

The new suit should, at least, make this dinner bearable for all involved. Hisako, Nichiren, Kakashi, Nichiren's parents. I'll admit that I only brought it along because…well, it might be fun to actually make a good first impression and have a couple people like me without being compelled to spend time with me. Even if they will just go back to ignoring me once I revert back to my armor. I was still mad about being _strongly encouraged_ to come.

It was a simple set with a black tunic and grey pants. I seriously doubted this was a black-tie occasion, so the kimono was out. I was kind of proud of myself for figuring that out, but I figured that mostly came from my knowledge from before.

I, of course, was early. I wasn't expected until 8:00 so I got here at 7:30. Punctuality is one of the things I'm an absolute stickler for and I guess it helps counter balance Kakashi-sensei's lateness. Or it simply causes my temper to come to a boil.

Much like coming to this dinner. I mean, I may be humoring my team here, but that doesn't mean I like it. Actually, I really _should_ keep quiet during this dinner. Things like raging frustration came out _really_ strongly in my voice and mannerisms in my old life, and I can only assume it's going to be worse now.

And like clockwork, Hisako showed up about twenty minutes later. She was dressed how she always dressed, since her outfit was acceptable by civilian standards, as opposed to my 'armored and ready for battle' look.

"Hey Hisako," I waved at her, putting on my best smile to avoid showing how much I didn't want to be here.

She looked at me in disbelief. "Daisuke? Is that you?"

"Afraid so," I replied with a nod. "Kakashi-sensei roped me into coming, so here I am."

"Wow," She tilted her head to get a better look at me. "I barely recognized you."

Bonus charisma can do that. "Must be the outfit."

"Yeah," Hisako then frowned. "Okay, so what'd you do?"

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

"You don't just look good, you sound good," Hisako frowned, giving me a once-over. "Like you're socially competent. What gives?"

Ooh. That's right, inexplicable rises in competence gets eyeballed. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered with the suit. "Oh, uh...I can be socially competent. It's just difficult. Very, very difficult."

It's better than the actual explanation; that I'm only competent when I'm wearing expensive clothing.

"Oh- _kay_ ," Hisako frowned. "How is it difficult?"

Crap. "It's like a super-charged Henge. I use the Henge to make me not look like a statue and give the appearance of not being a quirky, social mess. This one just goes several steps further. I just can't maintain it all the time."

Hisako smirked, but I could feel just a twinge of annoyance in her words, "Well, it makes sense that you pull a jutsu out of nowhere to solve your problem."

Thank you, 8 Charisma. Seriously, if this is what I have to look forward to when I have an actually high charisma, then _Almost Perfect_ can't come soon enough. You know, it just occurred to me that she may be slightly over appreciative of my ability to invent jutsu.

As in downright envious.

It would make sense, considering what I know of her.

…I'm digging the high charisma.

Maybe I can help her learn some extra jutsu? Smooth things over? Would be a good idea. Though I might need to find an alternative other than this outfit in order to do it right since I just told her my bonus charisma was incredibly difficult to hold, so…maybe I really will pull a jutsu out of nowhere to do so?

"Yeah, I guess it does," I replied with a small smile. "Do you know if Kakashi's already here or if he's going to be late?"

"Probably will be late," Hisako said with a frown. "You want to go knock on the door now?"

"I think maybe we should wait a few more minutes," I looked down the street for any sign of our Sensei. The street was bare of any ninja cyclops. "Just to say we actually waited for him."

"Good point," Hisako said. "I like the outfit by the way."

"Thanks," I replied, looking at the sleeves. "I figured that the armored look was a little much for civilians."

"Right," Hisako blinked. "I didn't think you could be so thoughtful."

"I can be considerate," I countered. "It just takes a lot of work. Like, I'm seriously wondering if tonight's going to kill me or not."

Hisako snickered. "Who knows, it might not."

"I hope not," I frowned. Sadly, this outfit was actually too bulky to be worn with everything else I owned, so no permanent CHA bonus for me. I need it, though.

The minutes passed and we made idle chatter until it was exactly 8:00. I did the knocking and not even a second later, Nichiren answered the door. "Hey, you're just in…Daisuke, is that you?"

I rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment. "Yeah, it's me."

"You look good," Nichiren said. "How'd that happen?"

I almost said that I pulled out some extra stops, but that saying is actually a reference to the pipe organ, an instrument I don't think exists in this world. So, instead I said; "I came up with a super-charged Henge. Can't maintain it for long but I…didn't want to embarrass myself tonight."

"Hey it's okay," Nichiren said with a frown. "My parents know you have some trouble normally. They're completely fine with it. You didn't need to invent a new jutsu just for this occasion."

Being able to lie is actually really nice, now that I think about it. "That's okay. I wanted to invent a new jutsu anyway."

"Well if you're sure," Nichiren frowned, moving aside so we could see in. "Come on in."

We entered. The house was really nice. There was a table, a kitchen, a place where my shoes came off for safe keeping and...ah. Two adults, late thirties at least. They both had glasses, and they were the same height, at least a couple of inches shorter than Kakashi-sensei, though that might Kakashi's hair talking. They both had glasses and black hair. While Mrs. Nakamura had let her hair down for the occasion, Mr. Nakamura's hair was cut short. Dark eyes, dark hair. They were so clearly Nichiren's parents I might've actually picked them out from a crowd if I cared for that sort of thing.

They were standing, ready to greet us as we walked in. I went for a bow, of course. "Yamada-otachisan, thank you for inviting me."

"We really appreciate it," Hisako bowed beside me.

"Mom, Dad," Nichiren took the lead. "These are my teammates Shimoda Daisuke and Yamada Hisako."

"It's so great to meet you both," Mrs. Nakamura said with cheer as Hisako and I came back up. "Nichiren's told us both a lot about you."

"Welcome to your home," Mr. Nakamura said. "Nichiren, do you know if your sensei is running late."

I just barely avoided answering this alongside Nichiren. Don't want to talk over him, I'm in his house. "Yes, he's probably running late. I told him the dinner was at six to try and counter act it, but…"

"I think he knew you were lying," Hisako spoke up with folded arms. "Good try though, I should've thought of that."

"Ah no," Nichiren frowned, his eyes going to his mother.

"You lied to your sensei?" Mrs. Nakamura got very stern. "What have we said about lying and cheating?"

"Don't do it unless I'm on a mission?" Nichiren put on his best innocent smile.

"Yes," Mrs. Nakamura said. "Why lie this time?"

"Because I was on a mission to invite my friends to dinner," Nichiren nodded sagely. "Yes indeed."

"That doesn't count!" Mrs. Nakamura had a horrible temper. "We talked about this-"

"Ai, Ai," Mr. Nakamura rose and hand and calmed down his wife, who was actually starting to get scary. "We can talk about this later. Not in front of guests."

"Yes, I suppose you're right Hiro," Nakamura Ai had calmed down with a sigh. "Anyway, please have a seat. Nichiren, you were going to help me in the kitchen."

"Uh…yes, Mother," Nichiren's shoulders sagged.

"If it makes any difference," I spoke up. "Our Sensei is always late. Infuriatingly so."

"Yes," Nakamura Hiro nodded. "But we've raised our son to be honest…within reason, anyway. Being a shinobi often requires deceit I'm told."

"It can be life or death," Hisako confirmed with a nod.

"But your sensei being late is not a matter of life or death," Hiro explained. "It's merely a matter of convenience."

Well, Ma and Pa Kent clearly had their moral center's in the right spot. With the kind of ninja the world has, they might even be in the right genre, too. I still feel bad Nichiren got in trouble over it though. Hopefully it's no too severe. Actually, he's technically an adult now by Konoha law, so they can't really do a _thing_ to him.

…Konoha Law suddenly became a little infuriating.

"Please, sit down," Hiro motioned for us to sit at the table. "I didn't invite you here to lecture you, I apologize. Dinner will be here soon."

We did so, Hisako sitting across from me.

"So," Hisako started, looking at me. "What'd you do over the past two weeks?"

"Mostly working on my jutsu," I replied, shrugging. "You?"

"My parents came home for a week," Hisako smiled thinking about it. "Mom taught me a little about how to use senbon. I've been working on it whenever I got the chance."

"That's awesome," I nodded. "So, throwing senbon has got to be a lot harder than just throwing a shuriken. Right?"

Hisako smiled. "Definitely. First, the way you hold them is completely different…"

She went on about how to hold senbon and throw senbon, to which I nodded and maybe asked a question or two to keep the ball rolling, which was much easier with a higher charisma. Eventually, the Nakamura's brought out the main course, which was Chicken Katsu with Tonkatsu sauce on the side.

They each took a seat and then there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Nichiren quickly stood, running toward the door. "Kakashi-sensei, come in."

"Thank you," Kakashi said from the door, walking inside, sans shoes.

"Come in, Kakashi-san," Mr. Nakamura called after our Sensei as he arrived. "We were just about to eat. Please have a seat."

Kakashi approached the table, but stopped for a second. "Oh, hello Daisuke! I'm glad to see you here."

He didn't recognize me for a second and now he's saving face. I'm okay with this. "I'm glad to see _you._ "

He took a seat right across from Mrs. Nakamura. I'm trying my best to remember that Mr. and Mrs. aren't a thing in this world, and only how I'm differentiating them in my head. Don't want to let something slip on my tongue, after all.

" _Itadakimasu_ ," We said as a group, breaking our chop-sticks and digging in.

I tried to keep quiet, let everyone else talk around themselves. Hisako's parents were home for a week before heading out on other long-term assignments. What kind of relationship is that? Are they Anbu and can't see their daughter often? Or do they really go outside of the Village for whatever reason?

Of course, I should've known I couldn't just stay quiet, now could I?

"So Daisuke," Hisako happily involved me in the conversation. "What exactly did you do for your two weeks besides training?"  
I shrugged. "Mostly just working on my jutsu. But I also worked out how to make explosive seals."

Kakashi started choking. I didn't even see him move his mask, but his meal was almost gone.

"Breathe, Kakashi-sensei," Resisting the grin tugging at my lips. "Breathe."

"You," Kakashi-sensei coughed out with his lung. "You worked out how to make explosive tags? How?"

"I bought an explosive tag," I shrugged nonchalantly. "Analyzed it and figured out how it works. I know they can be dangerous if you don't know what you're doing, but I know what I'm doing."

Now Kakashi-sensei really was looking at me like a grew a second head. Well, maybe like I had grown three. I don't know, but he seemed shocked that…I had been messing with a suicide-jutsu. Well, that would explain his reaction.

Eventually he came to. "I was hoping you simply made your own jutsu. So you know everything about the jutsu used to make explosive notes?"

"Yeah. I was somewhat surprised to learn about it, actually," Upon seeing Kakashi-sensei's eye-expression, I quickly back-tracked. "I didn't get hurt if that's what you're wondering."

"Okay good," Kakashi sighed in relief. "Do you think you could… _not_ mess with seals until we've had a chance to talk about it later?"

"Sure," I shrugged. I was going to need to re-think what I wanted to do with them anyway. Focusing on Ninjutsu seemed to be much more profitable right now.

Mrs. Nakamura frowned. "So how long have you three been a team now?"

I looked at Hisako.

"About 4 or 5 weeks?" Hisako guessed.

"I thought it was closer to six," I countered.

"Five weeks and three days," Kakashi came in with the exact number. "It's been great teaching them."

"We're so glad you have you teaching our son," Ai smiled. "Thank you for all your hard work."

Kakashi just waved it off. "It's nothing. I was happy to do it."

Of course, the parents would mostly care about how they're little boy was doing. Just like how my parents would've cared were they here.

…home. I hadn't really thought about it for a while. Mom and Dad were awesome. I still remember how Mom was trying to get her 'all natural skin-care' business off of the ground and she'd come to me to proofread her labels. Then I'd go to her for some advice…I was such a mama's boy back then.

Dad and I got into Skyrim together. I don't think he ever touched Fallout 4, though. He and I would talk for hours about various quests we'd do. He's brag about being able to down a dragon with a dagger and sneak attack damage, and I'd tell him about that one quest where I went on a drunken rampage across all of Skyrim and had to retrace my steps to find out how I wound up naked in the temple of Dibella, and married a Hagraven.

Good times. I miss them.

Then I had a brother who was crazy about League-

"Daisuke?" Nichiren asked.

I snapped back to reality. "Sorry, I zoned out for a second."

"It's okay," Nichiren said. "We were just talking about how to taught me the tree-walking jutsu."

"I didn't do a lot of teaching," I replied. "I just put you on the tree and you learned on your own."

"How many times did you catch him?" Kakashi asked with an eye-smile.

"Kakashi-sensei," Nichiren moaned in annoyance.

"Six," I replied. "How did teaching Hisako water-walking go?"

"You can walk on water?" Hiro asked with some awe in his voice.

Oh, Civilian. That's right. "It's a mid-rank chakra control exercise. Not everyone can do it…Kakashi-sensei can do it."

"So can you," Nichiren reminded.

"That's mostly due to my bloodline," I shrugged. "As such it is cheating and doesn't count."

Hisako laughed out loud and got herself back under control relatively quickly with a light blush. "Excuse me."

"So, Water-walking?" I asked again.

She looked at me with her lips in a firm line and fire in her eyes. "I can do it now. Thanks for asking."

"How many-" I began.

"Eight," Kakashi sensei answered without missing a beat.

Nichiren started chuckling and Hisako gave him a dirty look, folding her arms and looking away, muttering with that blush still on her cheeks.

"Eh, the fact that she can it at all is impressive," I said with a frown. "Right?"

"That's very true," Kakashi eye-smiled. "Very few learn it while they're this early in training."

"Thanks sensei," Hisako muttered as she came back up.

"So Nichiren will be able to learn it himself?" Ai asked with a wide smile.

"Absolutely," Kakashi replied. "Not for a while still, but absolutely."

"That's amazing," Hiro smiled wide. "Truly, our son is fortunate to have such a team."

* * *

After the surprisingly entertaining dinner party, we all went our separate ways. I thanked the Nakamura's _profusely_ for the meal, ensuring they knew that I appreciated their cooking. The fact that it was delicious only helped that particular case. Kakashi disappeared a few minutes ago, and Hisako and bid her farewells before leaving.

"Have a good night!" I waved goodbye to my teammates family and walked off.

…in the distance I saw Hisako walking away. She doesn't really have anyone waiting for her at home, does she? Maybe I should _walk_ her home. Since I'm her teammate. But what if she takes it the wrong way? Well, then I can correct it later. Besides, I seriously doubt she could take it the wrong way. I'm just her teammate, right?

I shunshin'd and caught up to her. "Hey."

Hisako turned to me and blinked. "Hey."

"Mind if I walk you home?" I asked with a shrug. "I mean, I heard you say your parents were gone, I thought you might appreciate the company."

Hisako blinked and, much like Kakashi had done, looked at me like I had grown a second head. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with Daisuke?"

She was partially being sarcastic, but something in my gut twisted wrong regardless. "I am Daisuke. Really. We can go to the hospital, they've taken my blood around half a dozen times, they can confirm it."

"I was mostly kidding," Hisako smirked, but there was something else in her eyes. "But you've been acting _different_ all evening."

"Must be the outfit," I repeated the line for the second time tonight. "Makes me more comfortable."

"Yeah," She said, sounding distracted as she looked at said outfit. "Must be. But yeah, I'd love the company."

"Awesome," I said, putting my hands in my pockets. We started walking. "So, you can walk on water."

"I _know_ ," Hisako said excitedly. "It's awesome, I can't wait to tell my parents when they get back."

"They go on a lot of long-term assignments, huh?" I asked with a thoughtful frown.

"Yeah," Hisako looked down cast. "It's not really that big of a deal. They've been gone constantly since I could go to the Academy."

"I'm sorry," I replied.

"Like I said, it's not that bad," Hisako shrugged. "I don't know what I would do without them."

"Must be nice," I replied, thinking of how my parents were, to me, nothing more than a memory. "Knowing that you can see them sometimes."

"I guess it is," Hisako said. "Sorry, I know you're an orphan. It slipped my mind."

"It's fine," I shrugged, the line bothering me a little bit more than I wanted it to. "It's just something I've had to live with."

We were quiet for a few minutes, just walking in silence.

"So," I broke the new layer of ice. "Got any plans for training?"

"I want to keep training with senbon," Hisako replied. "They're great for delivering poison and other nasty stuff."

"You know a lot about poison?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"No," Hisako admitted. "But my Mom does. I'll have to figure out how to throw them properly, though. I've always preferred getting up close and personal with Kunai."

"Have you thought about poisoning the Kunai?" I offered. "I mean, learn to run real fast, cut them with a poisoned kunai and get out of there before they even know what hit them?"

Hisako looked up in thought. "That's…an idea."

"I'm full of them," I replied as we came to a stop in front of a three story house with a reasonably large house. Two shinobi parents meant wealth. Especially if they were Anbu, I got to say. "My jutsu collection can prove it."

She snickered and brushed one of her locks behind her ear. "Thanks for walking me home."

"No problem," I answered. "Have a good night!"

"You too," She bade me and I shunshin'd away.

I made it to my apartment took off the outfit, and dispelled my Henge. I collapsed on my bed with a sigh. The Nakamura's were great. Upstanding people, I really like them. It was good to spend the evening with a family. Get a reminder of the good times from before. Before the car crash. Before I died.

 _…I miss my family._

* * *

 _Author's Note: Not really sure what to say about this chapter. There's some foreshadowing here, of course, but other than that, it's just slice-of-life.  
_

 _Hope you enjoyed it in any case._


	15. Eternal Rivals

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

I think Hisako might've been signaling that she liked me.

Maybe I'm only projecting and it really was only due to the extra charisma, but she had started giving off some signs that she might have been crushing. Chief of which was brushing one of her loose locks behind her ear. Usually she doesn't bother. At all.

But you know what? I'm probably wrong. She can't like _me_ , that'd be crazy. I'm weird, socially inept and terrible at flirting. That last one was true of _both_ my lives. That was part of the deal with making charisma my dump stat. I got insanely lucky and avoided my awkward teen years where girls my physical age would start flirting with me and I'd feel all kinds of wrong because I'm technically in my mid-thirties.

In case she _was_ trying to flirt with me, however, I'm going to put off finding a charisma increasing item that I can wear with my armor so things will go back to normal and I can avoid that part of my life like the plague. Both for my sake _and_ theirs.

Especially Hisako's.

I was waiting in front of the academy gates, sitting at a bench with my black book open as I casually looked at the sheer list of feats that I could obtain. Kakashi had informed me that it was time for each of us to start taking missions again. That meant that I was currently sitting with a knot in my stomach in case this next mission turned out like my last and I'd have to put my new skills to the test.

Nichiren arrived first this time, which was surprising.

I waved to him, trying to be casual and not scare him off.

He caught sight of me and began staring. I stared back.

"What did we do at the dinner party last night?" Nichiren asked, his eyes still boring into mine.

"Uh, I showed up in nice clothes, Hisako, you and Sensei had trouble recognizing me…" I shrugged in confusion. Why is he asking? "You got in serious trouble for lying…talked to Hisako about throwing technique for senbon…seriously why are you asking?"

"I'm just having a little trouble believing that was actually you," Nichiren replied.

"Well, it was," I crossed my arms. "I don't know how I can prove it."

Nichiren let out a breath he was holding. "That Henge was crazy, Daisuke. What did you do, mind control yourself to be more social?"

I smirked. That was very interesting way of looking at it, I suppose. It's not even close to the real answer; that I increased an arbitrary number that governs how socially aware I am. As it was, I gave him a waffling motion with my hand.

"You _really_ didn't need to do that for my parents," Nichiren said with an ever increasing frown. "Seriously, I had told them you were…social challenged."

"I think it's more accurate to say that I'm a walking social disaster area that regularly makes things worse wherever I go," I argued with a nod.

"No," Nichiren sounded like he was mostly trying to convince himself. "It just…"

"Nichiren," I interrupted. "I know how bad I am. Stop sugar coating it. Why does the Super-Henge bother you?"

" _Because_ ," He started testily. "Whoever that was at the dinner party wasn't you. Your tone of voice was perfect, you seemed conscious of what people were saying and even made things _not awkward_. Your _face_ even looked slightly different. I almost got in trouble with my parents _again_ , because they thought I misrepresented your character!"

"Oh," I blinked. I hadn't really thought my actions through, huh? "Huh. I didn't realize…huh."

I feel like an idiot again. With 10 Intelligence, that shouldn't be happening as often as it does.

"Then I learn that my teammate basically put a Genjutsu on himself to do what he did," Nichiren shook his head. "That's _freaky_. Your whole _bloodline_ is freaky. I don't think you understand just how _freaky_ your bloodline even _is_."

"It's pretty freaky," I nodded. "I know that no one can reverse engineer jutsu quite like I do."

"And you know you're bad," Nichiren looked me in the eye again. "That doesn't make sense to me. You've been like this your whole life. You shouldn't really know you're bad at society unless you've either had prior experience or had it beaten into your head how to act normally. Neither of which is true."

…wow.

I'm impressed. Pretty scared right now, but also impressed.

"But you not only know how you're bad, but _how_ you're bad _and_ how to fix it because you came up with a jutsu that fixed _all of your problems_ ," Nichiren finished, his whole frame looking as if a massive weight was lifted from his chest, though his face was getting more and more worried. "I don't understand why, if you know how to act, don't you simply act the right way? I don't…you don't make sense, Daisuke. That's what freaks me out."

I blinked. Seconds passed as I tried to think of something to say. Nichiren, by all accounts, was actually brilliant. Really, really brilliant. I opened my mouth to say something, only to close it again.

Nichiren was holding his hands out, as if inviting me to say something.

"Can we talk about this later?" I finally asked quickly.

Nichiren groaned heavily, hiding his head in his hands. "Yes."

Whew. Okay, I can come up with a plan of attack.

He came over and leaned against the academy's outer wall, on the opposite side of the gate from me. That was fine, he had just gotten a lot off of his chance and now he might think I'm mad at him or that he offended me or maybe he's riding a high from getting that off of his chest.

You know, I think that was actually a very belated way of telling me he thinks I'm crazy.

Well, if this were the first few years of my new life, I'd say he had a point there. And maybe I still am; I certainly lack the social awareness of a sane person. I…oh, _no_ …I wonder if I've kept any of my quirks from my previous life. Oh, I hope I haven't been talking to myself incessantly…

Hisako walked up to the door and looked at me. Then she sighed in annoyance. "We're back to normal now?"

"Yup!" I replied, suddenly really self-conscious and monitoring my behavior to make sure I didn't do anything strange. "Totally normal now. No weird quirky stuff here. Except for sensei being late again, but that's normal too."

Hisako tilted her head and looked at me oddly. "Are…you okay?"

"Never better," I smiled.

She blinked. "…right."

She walked over to the side Nichiren was standing and whispered. "What did you do?"

Nichiren was quiet for a second. "I told him that he freaks me out and why."

"Seriously?" Hisako whisper-snapped. " _Why_?"

"He asked," Nichiren replied.

"I really did," I supplied, a little loudly to make sure they heard me.

Nichiren let out a startled moan. Hisako didn't say anything.

None of us did, after that. Because my ability to screw up _anything_ social-wise was something I needed to ponder. Well, actually, I shouldn't because there's nothing I can do about it _now_. I mean, when _Almost Perfect_ hits, that'll be awesome. Unless my teammates attack me because they think I'm someone impersonating Daisuke, rather than actually being me.

This isn't really a game.

It never was.

Eventually, Kakashi-sensei came up the road. He looked at me, then at my teammates on the other side. "Alright, what happened?"

"I screwed up another conversation," I nodded with a frown.

"No, _Nichiren_ screwed up another conversation," Hisako grumbled.

Nichiren grumbled something to himself that I didn't pick up.

Kakashi sighed, and rubbed his forehead protector. "So, Daisuke? How does that Super-Henge of yours work?"

"How does it work?" I blinked, a lump forming in my chest.

"Yes," Kakashi replied.

"Uh…" I blinked. Speech skill, confuse him with large words! "So what it does is that in addition to the effects of a normal Henge, it also overrides my brains natural inability to modulate the tone my voice and increases my brains social awareness to allow for more fluid social interaction. It also increases my decision making capability in regards to what I say to prevent me from simply blurting out the first thing that comes to my mind."

"Daisuke," Kakashi sounded like his was fighting off a massive headache. "Are you seriously telling me you invented a Henge that messes with your mind to help you act normally?"

"Yes," I nodded, relieved that he bought it.

Kakashi sighed. "Daisuke, First off. Do you think you should share the jutsu with Konoha's R&D?"

"Sure," I shrugged, fighting a smile. I'm sure Konoha could always use another infiltration jutsu.

"Second, I don't want you using that jutsu anymore," Kakashi replied.

"Okay Kakashi-sensei," I replied, nodding. I wasn't going to use it anyway. "May I ask why?"

"Sure. The purpose of going to the Nakamura's last night was so you can improve your social skills," Kakashi explained. "Coming up with a jutsu to fix that very problem was very clever but undermined the point of going. That, and you're messing with your _mind_. That's beyond dangerous; Genjutsu is for the enemy, not ourselves. Understood? So no more Super-Henge. Got it?"

"Understood," I nodded. He probably had in mind the idea that I might not always be able to rely on my jutsu or that it wouldn't work on those with the power to see through such a jutsu. My excuse is to avoid getting hit on by underage girls. We both win.

"Good to hear," Kakashi sounded a little relieved, actually. Odd. Did he not think I'd listen? "So, let's go to the mission desk and pick up a new D-rank."

We each followed him inside with grunts of affirmative. Iruka wasn't working the mission desk. Instead, Okawa was. I hadn't seen the old instructor since I graduated. He still wore that eyepatch with his short white hair.

"Sensei-Okawa," Hisako bowed. "It's good to see you again."

"Ah, Hisako. Daisuke," The old instructor nodded to us. I bowed out of politeness. "It's good to see the two of you doing well…and…Nichiren? Is that right?"

"That's right, Okawa-sama," Nichiren bowed as well.

"Very good," The Old man smiled.

"I'm guessing they were in your class before my squad?" Kakashi asked with a risen eyebrow.

"Not Nichiren," Okawa clarified. "But Hisako and Daisuke were. My best students, actually."

"Thank you Okawa-sensei," Hisako replied.

"Yes, thank you," I followed her lead.

"They are pretty remarkable," Kakashi eye-smiled.

Okawa barked a laugh. "That's an understatement. It doesn't surprise me that Daisuke found a way to pass your test. Wasn't a problem I could put in front of him that he couldn't solve."

Hisako was annoyed.

"I've noticed how smart he is," Kakashi kept up being pleasant. "Now, do you have a mission for us?"

"D or C?" Okawa asked.

"D-rank please," Kakashi answered.

"Here," Okawa handed Kakashi a scroll.

Kakashi unrolled it, and came over to us. "A decrepit old woman needs us to buy groceries and bring them to her home."

I shrugged. "We can do that. Are we accompanying her or just picking up foodstuffs?"

"Just picking up foodstuffs," Kakashi answered, rolling it back up.

He didn't say anything, just looked at me. To my sides, I saw that Hisako and Nichiren were also looking at me.

"What?" I asked with a frown.

"You're not getting anything?" Kakashi asked.

"Like what?"

"No visions of the future?" Hisako asked with a frown. "Nothing telling of our imminent demise or death?"

 _Oh…crap._ That's right, they would probably have remembered my freak-out from before _Upon a Midnight Darkly_ and now…they think…that I can sense the future. Wow. That…just screams incoming headache. Still, I haven't gotten a message indicating we even accepted the quest. "Not really."

"Are you sure?" Kakashi asked. "If this old lady turns out to be a giant cement-monster, I think we want to know about it first."

"Nope, getting nothing," I replied, starting to get uncomfortable. "Can we just accept the q-mission already? You're making me antsy."

"Are you sure it's us that's making you antsy?" Nichiren asked, pushing his glasses up.

I groaned and hid my face in my hands. "I'm sure. Let's just go get that old woman her groceries, please?"

All was quiet for a moment.

"Okay," Kakashi said, rolling up the scroll. "We'll take the mission."

 _Quest Accepted: D-Rank Mission: Errand Boy._

 _Purchase groceries for the client._

I let out a small breath that I didn't realize I was holding. This turned out to be a mistake, as my entire team rounded to face me.

"Seriously?" I asked testily. "There's nothing wrong here. We're just getting groceries for an old lady. That's it."

"Okay," Kakashi nodded. "We're just wanting to be sure."

"Nothing could go wrong," I replied. "It's just an errand run."

Nichiren went pale, took off his glassed and whipped his eyes with his forearm. Hisako brought up both her hands in an aborted 'strangle-you' gesture. Kakashi's eye was twitching.

"Can we go now?" I frowned.

"Yes," Kakashi sounded half-paranoid. "We can go."

On our way out, I noticed that Okawa was looking at me really oddly. Eh, I guess if I didn't know that I had some form of precognition, that entire exchange would have sounded crazy.

* * *

Well, I was right, oddly enough. Investing 10 points into Luck was the best decision I ever made, if I had to be honest with myself. Nothing went wrong. From the trip to the grocery store, which had one of those old-timey cash registers that you had to input the entire bar code in rather than the scan-gun I was used too, to the client's home in one of the more residential areas of Konoha.

Nothing happened.

Except my teammates were unbearable. Kakashi insisted that I walk directly to the right of Nichiren, who was holding the groceries. Hisako was to his left, her hands tightly grasping kunai and shoved into her pockets. Kakashi took the lead, and we basically moved in this formation throughout the entire village as we finished our mission.

The three of them were paranoid, looking down alleyways, looking for _any_ threat that could conceivably come from any shadow that so much as looked too dark.

When we got to the client's house, Kakashi knocked, and moved his hands behind him, holding a kunai. The door slowly opened and there was a white haired, sweet old lady, holding a cat in her arms. She was every person's stereotypical perfect grandmother; sweet, kind to a fault, welcoming of any who came to her door and even offered to bake us persimmon cookies.

Note to self: come back later. I _love_ persimmons and I love cookies.

Kakashi, however politely, turned her down and she looked crushed. We left quickly, moving _in formation_ _back to the mission desk_ , collected our vouchers and turned to leave.

 _Quest Complete: D-Rank: Errand Boy._

 _+150 EXP._

3580 more until I level.

"Well, I think that was a good mission," Kakashi eye-smiled in relief. "In spite of a jinx that followed us the whole way, I'd say that was a qualified success."

Hisako wiped her brow with her forearm. Nichiren cleaned off his glasses.

I declined to say anything. I guess they learned from Nichiren's jinx. But it's not like this is a fanfic or anything.

"So let's head over to training ground three," Kakashi continued. "There we'll work on Taijutsu and defense against Genjutsu."

"Any chance of you showing us some cool Ninjutsu?" I asked with a risen hand.

"Perhaps later," Kakashi answered. "But not today."

"Alright," I shrugged. It's not like I didn't know a lot of jutsu to begin with.

So, we left the mission office. As we walked through the gate, I heard a deep, bellowing voice shout at the top of his lungs, "KAKASHI!"

…oh boy.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Maito Gai. The Green Beast of Konoha. Perhaps _the_ most optimistic person in all of Konoha. The man personally responsible for Rock Lee's astounding transformation from wuss to certified Taijutsu master and the creation of one of my favorite characters. However, because the universe believes in being fair, he also has to mentor Neji.

I had seen him before, when he first picked up team 9, but was never actually introduced.

Now, I might actually get the pleasure. I just hope I survive the experience.

"Gai," Kakashi nodded to him.

"My eternal rival!" Gai beamed at him. "How have you been? Last I checked, we were 29 to 29. Dead even. So…I challenge you!"

"Gai," Kakashi started. "Normally I'd love too, but my team and I were about to go training. So, maybe we can have one of our challenges later?"

"Training?" Gai _beamed_ and wiped a tear from his eye. "Seeing you pass on your hip and cool-"

…don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh…

"-knowledge to your youngsters to stoke the fires of their youth is a beautiful thing. I could never get in the way of that."

Behind Gai, who currently had his arm wrapped around Kakashi's shoulder, team 9 finally caught up. There was Lee, who had finished his transmogrification into Gai-clone, and was wearing the green spandex. Nice. Neji came up next, his eyes _still_ giving me the creeps and Tenten came up last. You know, I hadn't seen her since I got my gear. I needed to stop by her shop again, get something to cover my chest beyond the mesh undershirt.

"Hey," Tenten looked at me with recognition in her eyes. "I remember you."

"Same," I nodded. "The gear has actually come in really handy. I'll have to stop by again sometime."

"Uh?" Hisako looked at me and pointed at her.

"Her family owns the store I bought all of this at," I said, gesturing at my armor. "Very high quality stuff, this. I totally recommend it."

"Yosh!" Lee exclaimed with a fist-pump. "Tenten's family makes the best equipment."

"I'll keep that in mind," Hisako said, crossing her arms.

Oh, she seems oddly hostile. Wonder why.

"Good to hear," She smiled. "Though I'm wondering why I didn't recognize you if we graduated the same year."

Neji kept quiet, though I could _sense_ him judging my team…though, that probably has more to do with what I remember from the anime than my actual ability to read body language.

"I mostly kept to myself," I shrugged. "Didn't know anyone in the academy, really."

"So, Kakashi, how about my team and yours have a joint training exercise!" Gai had waited graciously for us to finish our conversation. "I challenge you to have your team duel my team!"

"…you were being serious about that?" Kakashi deadpanned.

"Of course!" Gai beamed.

What were they talking about?

"Just three matches, one for each genin," Gai continued. "We can go to the training ground, complete our challenge, and then we can see where our teams could do better! Best two out of three wins the challenge. If I fail, I will run five-hundred laps around Konoha on one hand!"

That seems a little extreme. But hey, it's Gai. Will he alternate hands? Probably switch between them every lap or so.

Kakashi sighed. "Okay. What training ground?"

"Excellent! Training ground two," Gai smiled and turned to his teammates. "Before we head on over…would the three of you introduce yourselves?"

 _Quest Accepted: Eternal Rivals!_

 _Go to training ground 2._

"Yosh!" Lee enthusiastically bowed. "I am Rock Lee, and my dream is to prove that a shinobi can be great with only Taijutsu."

Go you!

Neji smirked condescendingly at his teammate, but said nothing.

"Hishuragi Tenten," Tenten smiled and followed Lee's lead. "I want to become a great Kunoichi like Tsunade-hime of the Sannin."

You know, I never understood the near religious devotion some people hold toward those three. Sure, they're super talented or whatever, but they weren't the end all be all of Shinobi. And Orochimaru went crazy, so maybe that's influencing my opinion of them.

"My name is Hyuuga Neji of the Hyuuga clan," Neji said blankly but with just the _tiniest_ hint of anger.

We waited for him to say something else, but when he didn't continue, Nichiren took the ball.

"I'm Nakamura Nichiren," He waved. "I want to become a Medic-nin like Tsunade-hime myself."

"Neat!" Tenten beamed.

"I'm Yamada Hisako," She shrugged. "I want to join the Anbu Black-Ops."

"I'm Shimoda Daisuke," I said finally. "I want to have the most missions on record for any Shinobi."

"Yosh!" Lee smiled. "That is an awesome goal!"

* * *

 _Quest Updated: Eternal Rivals!_

 _Completed: Go to training ground 2._

Training ground two, alongside training ground one, were the most basic grounds Konoha had. They had targets for kunai, training dummies for Taijutsu. The training ground itself was a shallow sand-pit. In the center was a circle of stone that cordoned off the center of the pit for sparring matches like this one.

"Sensei, can I go first?" Lee asked his mentor with a large smile.

"Yes!" Gai answered enthusiastically and Lee stepped into the ring.

Kakashi hummed to himself. "Hisako. You can fight Lee."

"Hai Sensei," She bowed and stepped into the circle.

The rest of us all sat around the circle.

"No killing and no serious or crippling injuries," Gai called out. "Everything else is permitted. Bow to your partner!"

Lee and Hisako bowed to themselves.

"Begin!" Gai called out with this massive smile on his face.

Hisako fell into a basic academy stance, Lee into an aggressive one I knew belonged to the Strong Style. Well, Hisako's got two things on her side. She actually has jutsu and her main sparring partner for the past few years was me. Granted, I've been holding back, but still.

Lee opened with a high kick. Hisako ducked before the foot connected to her face and she retaliated with a punch to his gonads. Lee intercepted the punch with a forearm, coming back down to the earth. He punched twice and Hisako deflected both away with the palms of her hands, coming in with a kick to the stomach. Lee grabbed it and pulled backward, sending Hisako into a painful looking split.

Well, it looked painful, but Hisako pushed against the ground with both hands to bring her other foot to bear against Lee's face, and he blocked with a cross. Hisako came to the ground and swept out Lee's legs. But Lee caught himself on one hand, braced himself against the ground with one foot and kicked Hisako square in the stomach, sending her to the ground. She held her stomach and tried to get up.

…wow.

She gets kicked in the stomach a lot.

"I think she's lost this one," Kakashi nodded.

"We are in agreement then, Kakashi-san," Gai smiled. "Lee is the winner!"

"Yosh!" Lee cheered. Then he offered Hisako a hand up, which she took. "You are very skilled, Hisako-chan! I would be honored if we could train together sometime."

Hisako thought about that for a moment. "I'd like that."

 _Excellent_. That will help her immensely. I thought about clapping, but decided against it.

"Next match is Neji," Gai announced with a grin, this one slightly smaller than before.

"Daisuke," Kakashi nodded to me. "You're up."

 _Quest Updated: Eternal Rivals!_

 _Defeat Neji._

I returned the nod and rose into the arena.

Neji was on the other side. His eyes…are weird. They had no pupil, as the lightly colored sclera completely covered it. I guess you didn't need to have an exposed pupil if you could see through walls, did you?

"Bow to your partner!" Gai called. I followed his instruction. Neji favored me with a shallow bow.

I went into a basic stance; he went into a gentle-fist stance. Surprisingly, he didn't start talking about fate and how I was destined to lose. I guess it's not too surprising, I haven't deliberately antagonized him and it's likely he hasn't heard of me since stuff about me is mostly classified. I would assume so, anyway.

"Begin!" Gai called out.

Neji put his hands in a seal and uttered "Byakugan."

I waited for him to make the first move, holding my stance and watching him.

"I can see your chakra," Neji continued.

There we go.

"So what?" I asked.

"You don't know what that means," Neji said, his nose scrunching up slightly as if he just smelled something lightly offensive. "I'll show you."

Alright then.

He moved first and, like Hisako, his moves were _horribly_ telegraphed. Slow, too. That just made pushing his first strike away all the easier. Since his chakra, from what I remembered, was focused in his fingertips, I pushed at his wrist, pushing the strike to my right while I slid around him in an orbit to the left, and rewarded him with a punch to the side.

I slid back, getting away from the inevitable counter attack.

Yeah, I could curb stomp this kid into next week and 'humble' him. I had no doubt. This wasn't the beast of a Genin that stood up to Naruto during the Chunin exams in the anime or yore. What stood before me was a twelve-year-old who was only five weeks into training. But I don't think 'humbling' him will work. I don't think he'll be humbled by a curb stomp, especially if he hears of the garbage I'm capable of unleashing.

Which is part of why I'm only going at him with Taijutsu. I do want to help him, but I feel like the best way to go about that is to show him that, against me? His Byakugan and Jyuken are useless. Avoid and evade are the order of the day. Even then, it won't do much.

I parried another strike, then another, making sure to push at his wrists. After parrying another attack, my fist landed in his face and I pulled back once more.

Neji massaged his nose and turned again to face me with a grunt. He glowered at me with annoyance, and settled into a stance but didn't move towards me.

Ah, he wants me to attack, thinking he might have better luck on the defense. This would be sound judgement any other situation, but I can guarantee that I was more patient than he was. I spent six months entirely immobile, and a year without being able to speak. I was basically insane during this time, but still.

I dropped out of my stance, folded my arms. As the minutes passed, as I was having a harder and harder time fighting a smirk crawling its way across my face-there we go!

He lost patience and lunged. I bent to the side, watching him and his outstretched fingers pass by my eyes with a smile on my face. He span around to try and hit _something_ but crap, man. This just wasn't fair. I planted a fist right in his stomach and backed away again.

Neji doubled over, holding his stomach with a groan.

"I think we're done," I said, holding a hand up.

"No we are not," Neji argued, gingerly releasing his stomach and coming back to his stance. "Not yet."

I shrugged. "You sure?"

"What's wrong?" Neji asked rhetorically. "Are you afraid I'm going to start hitting you?"

I laughed. "No."

He glared in impotent rage. Then lunged once more. This time I just slid right out of the way at the last second, stuck my foot out, stuck it onto his ankle, and pushed him down to the ground with a loud _thud_.

Coughing, Neji stood up again.

"That's it Neji!" Gai cheered. "Show him the power of your youth!"

"You can do it Neji!" Lee joined it.

Neji glared at his cheerleaders and rushed me again. I parried both strikes and punched him in the chest, followed up with a jab to the stomach, parried another Jyuken strike, stuck my foot behind his and pushed him over once again.

I backed up, giving him space.

You know, part of me wondered why he didn't start funneling chakra into his wrists to make my parries a non-factor. But it would probably be very difficult to do that since he's trained to channel his chakra into his fingers and the thought process behind the change my take some getting used to.

Neji tried to get back up. Twice, before he finally stopped and resorted to just breathing heavily on the sand.

"Daisuke is the winner!" Gai shouted, sounding exuberant but also somewhat unsure. Like he didn't know quite what just happened.

I guess that's fair. I did just soundly beat the rookie of the year without getting touched.

That said, I did walk up and offer Neji a hand. An olive branch. He ignored it, and managed to stand on his own after some serious difficulty. Then he walked back to the audience and sat down, refusing to look at me.

Alright then. Well, that's what happens when I fight a Genin with Kage-level Taijutsu, I suppose. Though I do wonder why he didn't start trying his psychological attacks that he's famous for…maybe because he didn't know me well enough to hit any of my buttons? That would probably be it. He lives with Hinata, so knows her quite well and Naruto's…Naruto. Pretty easy to read, if you know what you're doing. Maybe he doesn't know what he's doing yet?

 _Quest Updated: Eternal Rivals!_

 _Completed: Defeat Neji._

I sat back down on the sidelines. Hisako looked depressed for some reason. Nichiren looked nervous.

"Tenten, it's your turn!" Gai remarked.

"Hai," The double-bun mistress of the kunai stood up.

"Nichiren," Kakashi replied.

"Yup," Nichiren stood up.

Alright, what can Nichiren do to avoid being swiss-cheesed? I mean, Tenten's not allowed to swiss-cheese him, so this…might be more even than I thought.

"Bow to your opponents," Gai called, seeming a little giddy.

Nichiren and Tenten both bowed in respect.

"Begin!"

Shuriken immediately found themselves in Tenten's hand and suddenly the arena was filled with smoke. Everyone started coughing and I waved the smoke away from my face. When it cleared, Nichiren was gone.

"Wha-?" Tenten started looking around, confused. "Where'd you go?"

"He said anything went," Nichiren's voice came from below, though it wasn't obvious at first. "So I don't have to stay in the arena, now do I?"

Oh, he's fighting dirty.

 _Nice_.

Suddenly, a bunch of Ninja wire erupted from the earth and wrapped themselves around the Kunoichi's legs and started to pull her under the ground. Tenten, however, was right on top of things, and managed to cut the wire with a shoto pulled from a storage scroll. Before she stepped out of the new pits forcibly dug by her legs, Nichiren rose from the ground with freaking _iron knuckles_ on his fists.

Tenten quickly bent backward at the knees, and summersaulted out of the way and back onto her feet, letting loose a barrage of shuriken that Nichiren jumped, ducked and stumbled to dodge. Then the field filled with smoke-

"Again?" Tenten growled in frustration.

-and Nichiren was gone once more. Nichiren's apparently our stealth specialist, which makes sense considering he wants to be a medical ninja and shooting the medic is probably a thing in this world to prevent they guy you just downed from getting back up seconds later.

Because chakra is bull and medical jutsu would probably be equally bull.

Tenten immediately looked below and prepared for an attack. She was surprised when Nichiren surfaced five feet to her right. A ring of ninja wires also surfaced, wrapping around her leg, allowing Nichiren to start pulling. Tenten fell, but not before throwing a kunai at Nichiren, which he dodged, giving Tenten enough time to cut herself free again. She jumped to her feet, nimbly dodging the other wires the surfaced to ensnare here.

Nichiren didn't bother with the smokescreen this time, disappearing into the ground.

Didn't Naruto do that a couple of times? And get really good at it? I remember he nearly knocked out Neji's teeth by doing so during the Chunin exams.

Tenten grabbed a kunai in her other hand, looking around.

"Think he's run out of wire?" I whisper to Hisako.

"I think he did," was her reply. "He didn't carry that much with him."

I grunted, keeping an eye for him.

Nichiren burst from the ground behind Tenten, lunging at her with his fist cocked back. Tenten, to her credit, rapidly turned to meet him, parried his attack, and grabbed him from behind, placing her shoto to his neck.

…if you hurt my teammate, I swear to…

"The fights over," Kakashi nodded.

"Indeed!" Gai shouted. "Tenten is the winner!"

Tenten released him with a cheer. Nichiren fell to the ground and she offered him a hand. "That was really sneaky of you at the start."

"Thanks," Nichiren smiled. "You're really handy with that sword."

"Thank you."

 _Quest Compete: Eternal Rivals!_

 _+500 EXP._

3080 until I level.

I only had to beat up a practically defenseless twelve-year-old to get that EXP.

I hate you, game.

"Alright well," I stood up. "If that's everything, two-to-one means that Gai-sensei won the challenge. Can I go home now?"

"Yes you may," Kakashi said, giving a small wave. "See you later."

"See you guys later," I waved goodbye to everyone, before I shunshined my way back to the city.

I got the distinct impression that I was being stared at as I left.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Introducing Team Gai was quite fun, actually. Hope you enjoyed.  
_


	16. Parallel Dinners

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"…so that's how I screwed up my teammate trying to apologize to me," I summed up, taking a slurp of the ramen noodles from my sticks.

"Are your teammates just not good at listening or something?" Naruto asked over his bowl of Miso.

"I think it has to do with my tone of voice," I replied, stirring the noodles. "I sound mad without meaning too, I guess."

Naruto huffed with an indignant expression. "You'd think they'd have figured it out by now. Always take what you say at face value."

"Thanks Naruto," I smiled, raising my cup filled with water to him. "You always know what to say."

I had come to Ichiraku for the express purpose of finding Naruto. I didn't know how to talk to people. He _did_. So I needed…if not advice, then at least some companionship. My teammates, well intentioned though they may be, keep misunderstanding me and in the case of Nichiren, seeing _way_ more than I was comfortable with.

"No problem," Naruto smiled, inhaling another chopsticks-full of noodles. "So, what was it about the dinner party?"

"It was last night," I continued. "I got a nice suit, gave myself a social bonus…with a jutsu..."

"What kind of jutsu?" Naruto looked at me.

"It's like a supped up version of the Henge," I explained with a frown. "It makes me look better and messes with my brain so I don't put my foot in my mouth so much."

"Woah," Naruto blinked. "I didn't know jutsu could…wait, you've been messing with your brain?"

"Sensei told me not to use the jutsu anymore," I replied. "And I don't really want to do it either."

"Okay good," Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. "I mean, it sounds cool, but messing with your brain's gotta be dangerous. No offense."

"None taken," I replied, taking another stick-full of noodles into my mouth.

"Okay, so you were saying?" Naruto asked. "The party?"

"So, it went well enough," I shrugged. "I was kind of wishing…I had parents, afterwards, but you know."

"I hear you," Naruto nodded, stirring his sticks into his freshly refilled bowl.

"Today though, Nichiren…he said that he got in trouble with his folks because they thought he was exaggerating about how bad I was," I continued. "He…made some observations that I'm having a hard time dealing with."

"Like what?" Naruto asked after slurping down a large group of noodles.

"Well, I know I'm bad at talking to people," I said with a frown, looking at the clump of noodles grabbed in my sticks. "If I know I'm bad, and _how_ I'm bad at it, then I should just not…act badly, you know?"

"And you agree with him?" Naruto looked at me with a pensive look on his face.

"I think he's got a good point," I elaborated. The Super-Henge was a lie, anyhow. "I just don't know what to say to that."

"Well, I think he's being really unfair," Naruto replied with a frown. "You have a bloodline, right? It lets you do a lot of awesome things. It just also came with being an uncanny statue-man. It's so bad you _still_ wear that Henge around in public."

"I gotta do what I gotta do," I replied, hunching my shoulders defensively.

"But that's just it," Naruto continued. "You're dealing with it. You're going out of your way to not to be someone people don't mind being around as much. For him to just say that you shouldn't be bad in the first place...makes me really _mad_."

"So what do I do?" I asked with a frown. "I can't ignore it and I don't want to demolish him. He _is_ a friend of mine."

"Yeah I get it," Naruto sighed. "I don't know what you can say. Just…keep being you. And seriously, no more Super-Henges or whatever it is you did. That's just begging for trouble."

"You got it," I replied with a frown. "How about you? How's the academy?"

"It's going way better since Iruka was able to tutor me," Naruto smiled.

"Does he tutor you on everything you need help with?" I asked with a risen eyebrow.

"…not _everything_ ," Naruto said quietly. "He's super busy all the time. He helps me when he _can,_ anyway."

"Anything I can do?" I asked with a frown.

"No, it's okay," Naruto looked at me with a smile. "I'm sure you're really busy too."

"You sure?" I pressed. "You'd be shocked at the amount of free-time I have."

"No, no really," Naruto laughed uneasily. "It's fine, you don't need to do that."

…that's _odd_. Why doesn't he want help from me? Well, I did just regale him with tales of how I screw up everything when I'm asked to speak, so that might be it. Understandable. "Alright, well…is there anything else that's bugging you?"

Naruto was quiet for a couple second, his smile fading as the gears turned in his head. "There's…this girl."

"Oh yeah?" I said with a smile. "What's her name?"

"Haruno Sakura," Naruto admitted sheepishly. "She's super smart and _really_ pretty. I never saw a girl with pink hair before, but she makes it look good."

"Smart _and_ pretty?" I asked, trying to give the sentence an air of 'hypothetical'. I remember that Naruto had a crush on Sakura from the anime and I was wondering when I'd see it. "Nice. What's the problem?"

"She's in love with the prodigy in our class," Naruto sighed, resting his head in folded arms on the bar-table. "I can't get a date with her no matter how hard I try."

"I wish you luck, my friend," I said with a sad smile. "I can't talk to girls to begin with, so I don't think I can help."

"I know," Naruto sounded just a little irritated. Then he sighed. "It's okay. Nothing wrong if I just keep trying, right?"

"Uhhh…" The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If _I_ can't help him, then someone else has to be able too. I looked around and…saw Ayame ladling some ramen to a customer. That could work. She was old enough to look at Naruto like a younger brother, right? "You're pretty good friends with Ayame, right?"

"Huh?" Naruto looked at me with a confused look on his face.

"Ichiraku Ayame?" I clarified, pointing at her over the counter. "That girl right there?"

"Oh. Yeah!" Naruto nodded. "She's one of my really good friends, sure. Why do you ask?"

"You'll see," I nodded. Then I put my hand to my mouth like half a horn. "Hey, Ayame! Come over here for a second!"

She looked at me, a little concerned. She finished ladling out the ramen and wiped her hands on her apron on her way here. "Yes, Daisuke? You're not getting sick again, are you?"

"Nope," I said. "Naruto here's got a girl he likes and he needs advice."

"Daisuke!" Naruto shouted in alarm. "What are you doing?"

"Oh that's adorable!" Ayame put both hands together and squealed. "Young puppy love! That's so _cute_."

"Dai _suke_ ," Naruto said in an embarrassed growl.

"I'm helping you," I nodded. Then I looked at Ayame, who had a smile on her face. "I think."

"So tell me about her," She said, still smiling.

"Uhhhh…" Naruto was blushing. "Her names Haruno Sakura. She's really smart and really pretty."

"Ooh," Ayame said. "So, what does she like?"

"I don't really know," Naruto shrugged. "She's never said yes to a date, so I can't find out."

I'm half tempted to leave right now. But Naruto was my oldest friend and I did just sic a teenage girl on him. So, I, no matter how uncomfortable I was right now, was going to stick this through. Even if he tries to kill me at first opportunity. If it works, he'll be thanking me. Probably.

"It's probably too early to go on dates," Ayame said, looking thoughtful. "You said she's never said yes? Probably should relax and give her some space for a bit."

"But then she'll go out with Sasuke!" Naruto groused.

"Sasuke?" Ayame blinked. "Has she actually gone on a date with him, or is she trying?"

"…just trying," Naruto said. "She really likes him though. Fawns over him constantly. For some reason."

"Oh, then you don't have anything to worry about," Ayame shrugged. "If she's fawning over him constantly and not getting anything back, he's clearly not interested. If anything, that just makes him even less interested."

"Wait, seriously?" Naruto shouted, propping himself up with his arms. "That's awesome!"

"That also means you shouldn't ask her out again for a while," Ayame continued. "That just makes her feel like you don't respect her."

"But I do!" Naruto said, looking affronted.

"I know you do," Ayame placated. "But it's all about what _she_ sees and if you keep asking her out, then she doesn't _see_ you respecting that she said _no_."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Naruto asked with a frown.

"Give her space for a couple weeks," Ayame replied. "Then ask her to hang out later. _Not_ as a date, be sure to make that clear. Invite a few friends a long just to make it seem more like a get together."

"…okay," Naruto blinked, processing the information. "That's an idea."

"You _do_ have friends besides me, right?" I interjected. "Right?"

"Yeah!" Naruto nodded. "Iruka-sensei and the old man!"

"Do you have any friends your own age?" Ayame asked with a mix between hopeful optimism and dread for the answer.

Naruto looked _very_ uncomfortable. "No."

Right. Kyuubi's a problem, isn't he? "Sorry."

"Well," Ayame began with a frown. She pointed to me. "What's wrong with Daisuke?"

"I'm a walking social disaster area," I explained. "It's really for the best that I stay away."

"Which stinks," Naruto grumbled.

"Oh yeah," Ayame nodded with a frown. "I heard your story about the apology. I'm sorry that happened to you."

"Thank you?" I wonder if Naruto's natural charisma is rubbing off on me like a passive aura or something.

"I think she'd like you if she actually spent time with you," Naruto grumbled.

"Yeah but we're trying to find out how to get her to spend time with _you_ ," I stated. "We don't need to make a hard task impossible."

"Anyway," Ayame continued, a deep frown on his face. "That's a problem. You might need to give her space for longer, then."

Naruto groaned, slamming his head into the counter. By some miracle, his bowl of ramen was moved to the side and out of the way before he impacted. "She'll be dating that jerk in no time."

"No," Ayame tried to comfort him. "She won't. I promise you that…by the way, do you call the boy she likes a jerk to her face?"

"Yeah," Naruto came back up. "Why wouldn't I? He's a jerk."

Ayame thought for a second. "If a girl you didn't know too well came up to you and insulted Sakura, how would you feel?"

"I'd be pissed off," Naruto shrugged, folding his arms. "I'd shout at her and make her apologize."

"That's how Sakura feels whenever you insult him," Ayame nodded with a pitying smile. "So if you want to date her, you should stop that."

Naruto shouted in frustration, grabbing his face with both of his hands and arching backward in the ultimate expression of frustration. Then he slammed on the bar with a whimper. Then he grumbled something I didn't quite catch.

"Sorry, what?" I asked.

"I said _fine_ , I can go without insulting Sasuke," Naruto grumbled, not looking happy at all.

"Good," Ayame smiled. "You actually have a chance, now."

Naruto kept grumbling, which Ayame, classy lady that she is, ignored said grumbling altogether.

"Now how to get around the 'no other friends' issue," Ayame cupped her chin in thought. "Hmmm…"

"Ayame!" That was her dad calling. "Don't just sit around talking to Naruto, we've got a shop to run!"

"Sorry, Dad!" Ayame jumped. "I'll be right back. Keep thinking about it, alright?"

"Sure," Naruto grumbled.

She ran off to take another customers order and ask the previous one whose ramen she had been filling earlier if he'd like a refill.

"Daisuke?" Naruto asked quietly.

"Hm?"

"Do I really need to be nice to Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"She didn't say 'be nice to him'," I reminded him. "She said 'stop insulting him when Sakura's around'. That's completely different."

He grumbled before his face lit up. "Hey yeah! You're right, that _is_ completely different."

Still…the no friends issue. Seriously, Naruto can't use _me_ , Sakura would avoid Naruto more because he's associated _with me_. Uggghhh…It'd be really _good_ for Naruto, too, because she's smart and can help him out when Iruka can't and…

"What're you thinking?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Oh, just thinking how awesome it would be for you to date Sakura," I replied. "You said she was super smart and she might be able to help you in the academy and stuff."

"I hadn't even _thought_ about that," Naruto said with wide eyes. "That'd be awesome!"

"What'd be awesome?" Ayame came back. "We can't much longer, my dad's getting impatient."

"Just how Sakura's really smart," Naruto nodded. "She'd be able to help me when Iruka can't tutor me."

"Oh," Ayame said. Then her face started to light up. "Oh. Oh! OH! That's it!"

"What's it?" I asked. What was she seeing that I wasn't?

"Ask her to help you with academy assignments," Ayame seemed giddy. "I mean, you'd have to emphasize it's not a date and _really_ play up how much you need help but it's the perfect way to get her to spend time with you!"

"Wait, really?" Naruto started to light up. "I could just ask her and she'd help me?"

"Well, you'd still have to give her space for a couple weeks," Ayame replied. "But if she's worth dating, she might help you. You might also need some spare ryo…"

"Done," I offered. "If she wants to charge you for tutoring, I can foot the bill."

"Seriously?" Ayame blinked at me. "Wow."

I simply shrugged. "Anything for a friend."

"Alright then," Ayame smiled again.

"Okay yeah," Naruto nodded, his expression starting to get brighter. Then he hugged her over the counter. "Yeah, I can do that! Thank you, Ayame!"

"You're welcome," She said with a chuckle, returning it.

They separated. Then he jumped and hugged me, which I returned. "Thanks Daisuke!"

When he let go, he jumped off the seat. "Bye Daisuke, Ayame!"

"Good luck!" I waved at him and he disappeared. I turned to Ayame. "How much do I owe for the ramen?"

"Nothing," Ayame looked at me with an incredulous smile on her face. "You paid for two hundred bowls. He only got through twenty."

"Can you add the change to his tab?" I asked, grateful for the A-rank pay and for the fact that I didn't actually need to eat.

"Ummm…suuuure," Ayame shrugged, tilting her head.

"Cool," I said, hopping off of the stool after I made sure my bowl was empty. "It was delicious and I'll probably see you later."

"He's lucky to have you, you know," She told me. "Really."

"Thanks," I said with a wave goodbye. "See you."

I turned around and _barely_ avoided bumping into someone a head and a half shorter than I was. She had short dark hair, Byakugan, wore an overly large jacket for this weather…this was Hinata. I didn't forget about Hinata.

I did forget that she used to be Naruto's stalker, however.

"Sorry," I nodded to her.

She pressed her fingers together and bit her lip. "It's okay."

I tilted my head. "…what's your name?"

Her head sunk even lower than before. "Hyuuga Hinata."

Cool. "Nice to meet you. Have a good day."

"Th-thank you," She muttered.

I shunshin'd away, heading back to my apartment.

The sun was at least a few hours from setting at least, but I wonder what she was doing stalking Naruto at what was assuredly dinner time? I never liked that about her. I liked everything else about her, I thought she was a great character, but I never thought that stalking someone was okay.

…I've got strong feelings about the 'stalking is love' trope. A holdover from when I hated Twilight and Stephanie Meyer for making my religion look bad.

Geeze, I barely remember _anything_ about that book to begin with. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but I'd like to forget it completely. I probably won't, though, because my INT stat scales with level. So I'll probably remember more as time goes on.

DANGIT.

Whatever. What am I going to do for the rest of the day? Invent jutsu? I'm out of ideas that don't involve a higher check than 55. Would you believe Shadow Clones take a check of 65? I was furious. Invent Genjutsu? I've got moral quandaries with that: I didn't want to become Charles Xavier and mess with people's heads _for the greater good_.

I'll probably end up doing that later, but for right now, I prefer not having the temptation. Plus there's the fact that I'd end up casting those jutsu on myself without a test subject…make sure it'd work, right?

So…that leaves exploring the sewers.

The place the Sludge-monster from C'Thulhu's lower bowels tried to take me through after grabbing me near the end of that adventure. The place where Root is assuredly stationed and closer to the jaws of death than I actually feel comfortable with. Also assuredly the location of Orochimaru's old labs, where I'm guaranteed to at least find a _few_ goodies.

There's a sewer entrance in an alleyway near my apartment.

I'd been putting this off. I can only die once, after all.

But…it needs to be done. For the EXP.

So, I jumped into my apartment, grabbed a few storage scrolls that contained the entirety of my inventory then I…wait.

I was most definitely under surveillance.

My bloodline, the pure blend of nonsense that it is, is valuable. I wouldn't be surprised that I've got a file in the Hokage's desk that's the source of several migraines and maybe an ulcer. So there's probably an ANBU or two watching my apartment.

And following me around on my nightly runs.

Oh boy, the fact that I don't really need to sleep has been _documented_. That's got to be fun. Following a guy who never sleeps or stops can't be easy. Most likely not as fast as they are, but still, the endurance requirement has to be staggering.

Well, okay, I do sleep my nights away some times. But that just means I'll need a higher stealth skill before I even think of heading down there. That's both relieving, and disappointing. Well…ugh…I'm annoyed, now.

The sun was approaching the horizon. I opened the window and just looked out. The sun was still too bright to watch on the way down, but just taking in the fresh air was relaxing.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the training ground, Kakashi was looking at his two students, as well as Gai and his students. Daisuke had just left, vanishing out of sight in a rather impressive Shunshin. Hisako was holding her head in her hand, saying nothing but had a look on her face that suggested she was close to a breakdown. Nichiren had his glasses in his hand, looking at them from every angle he could, trying to find something to say.

Team Gai was staring at the place Daisuke had leapt up too before he continued rooftop hopping. Gai had a rare, serious and introspective expression on his face, which Kakashi knew meant that something serious had just happened and he was trying to figure it out. Lee was staring with wide eyes and a slightly gaping jaw. Neji had his Byakugan active, his eyes moving just slightly after the form of Daisuke leaving before they just stopped and he deactivated it, looking at the ground. Tenten looked at Neji with eyes filled with concern, only glancing at the space Daisuke had left before looking at her teammate.

Kakashi knew he had to do something. His team, experienced with the nonsense that Daisuke brought was close to a breaking point. Including him. Four other people, who had no experience with what his prodigy could do, just got punched with a taste of it in the gut, when he utterly shamed the _Hyuuga Prodigy_ whom _everyone_ thought was the best Genin of the year. Then he just left with the barest hint of a farewell.

"So," Kakashi started, getting an idea. "I think we should all go to dinner and celebrate Gai's thirtieth win."

Gai, of course, whipped around to face him with _tears_ in his eyes. "You…you really mean it, Kakashi? You think we should celebrate?"

"Yes," Kakashi nodded. "It'll be good for all of us…to recognize your clear win today."

Like the dependable shinobi he was, Gai caught on. "Yes, it shall! I know the perfect place! The Akimichi Buffet!"

Relatively cheap and all you can eat, delicious food. Kakashi nodded. "Alright, let's go, everyone!"

They each walked back into Konoha. The Genin were all quiet on the way there. Lee, to his credit, was actually containing his exuberance and was walking with a wide smile and though he didn't say anything, everyone could feel it. Gai was happy too…but he was also curious. Kakashi was hoping that he'd be able to talk to Gai solo, so he could disseminate the knowledge in a way that his Genin could handle.

And also give his Genin a chance to be around _normal, non-emotionally taxing_ Genin of their own age. If they vented, that could be good for them, and if none of it made it back to Daisuke, which isn't unlikely, as Daisuke has…very _few_ friends outside of his team, it would be great.

Except for Uzumaki Naruto, who reportedly has been friends with him since the early days of the orphanage. But Naruto has no friends _either_ , in spite of the fact that he deserves all the friends he can carry, so all was well.

The Akimichi buffet was horribly busy, as usual. Civilians and Shinobi alike both came here when it was time to celebrate, eat, drink and be merry. It was advertised as having the finest Akimichi cuisine available for the masses, but no Akimichi could be seen doing anything at the buffet other than making the food. Kakashi had it on good authority that the buffet had all of the Akimichi's _cheap_ recipes which were still amongst the best ever tasted, and easily mass produced.

It was loud, it was crowded, and that made it perfect for discreet conversations to be held with very little danger of the details being overheard.

Kakashi, out of good courtesy, paid for everyone's entry. The cashier letting them in was a civilian, a pretty young woman with blonde hair that he surmised was hired solely to provide a pretty face for diners to see as the first thing they saw when they came in.

"Let's find a table," Kakashi said after being handed a platter and cup. "Then we can get whatever we want and meet back."

Gai gave a thumbs up and the Genin gave their approval for the plan.

The tables they found were actually a pair of booths with a table each. One table was capable of seating all of the Genin without the Jounin, which fact Kakashi and Gai exploited to let the Genin sit by themselves, and claim the booth directly behind them. With that, they all scattered, piling whatever food they wanted on their platters.

Sushi, ramen, prawn and more all decorated their platters, with tall glasses of various Akimichi Elixirs. There was no Sake, which was Kakashi's only complaint about the buffet. Apparently, the Akimichi considered the buffet a family affair. If you wanted alcohol, you could go to the grill two blocks down the street, which also had the better Akimichi food.

Not the best food, just the better kind. The best was reserved for private parties hosted by the Akimichi.

Upon arriving back to their seats with their food, they wasted no time digging in. Kakashi was dipping a sushi-roll into a small cup of Soy Sauce when Gai returned, sitting across from him with almost enough food to make an Akimichi thumbs-up in approval.

Almost.

"So," Gai began quietly, picking up a small bit of cooked fish with his chopsticks. "Can I ask about your hip and cool protégé?"

"Ask away," Kakashi replied with an internal sigh. "But he's not really my protégé. I haven't taught him nearly as much Nichiren or Hisako."

"Then where did he learn such impressive Taijutsu?" Gai frowned, staring at the bite held in his sticks before sticking it in his mouth.

"You remember my report on the day my team passed my bell test? How I said he had the Taijutsu of a tokubetsu-jounin?" Kakashi said, taking a sip of the elixir he brought with him, the bubbly liquid swimming down his throat. "As far as I can tell, he's always been absurdly skilled at Taijutsu. He's just gotten better. Inexplicably."

"Inexplicably?" Gai replied. "How so?"

"Daisuke doesn't train unless I tell him too," Kakashi elaborated.

"What?" Gai looked alarmed.

"He doesn't train," Kakashi repeated. "I've followed him around a couple of times, he's under ANBU guard for his bloodline, obviously, and we've never seen him do anything that amounts to training in his free time. A lot of it is wandering his apartment, deep in thought as far as we can tell, when he's not running around Konoha for fun. The closest he ever came to training was during his furlough following the House Incident."

"I see," Gai nodded. The House Incident was now infamous throughout the ranks of Konoha's Jounin and Chunin, in spite of the few scant details available to everyone. "So how did he train?"

"He…" Kakashi sighed in frustration, putting his hand under his chin while he looked for the right words.

Audible to both Jounin, their students began talking.

"So what's the deal with Daisuke?" Tenten asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"I don't want to talk about him," Hisako grumbled, clearly not in the mood for much talking or eating.

"…I don't really know what to say about him," Nichiren said. "I don't understand why he's still a Genin? How can one person be so smart yet so dumb?"

"He's dumb," Neji spoke up, like he wasn't sure he'd heard correctly. "How is he dumb?"

"He's socially incompetent," Nichiren remarked with a tinge of disdain. "Have someone try to apologize to him, and he'll be apologizing to the person who tried to apologize to _him_ for offending them."

"Thanks Nichiren," Hisako almost growled.

"Sorry," Nichiren sounded sincere.

"He wore a Henge," Neji stated with clearer disdain. "He looked like a moving statue beneath it."

"He wears it so people around him aren't freaked out," Hisako replied with irritation. "Coming from him, sensitivity like that is incredible."

"I just thought it was comical," Neji snarked. "A shinobi with so much power is fated to scrape and scrim at the bottom of the barrel to fit in with the others around him."

Hisako groaned. Nichiren didn't say anything.

"I thought he was amazing!" Lee gushed. "I had never seen Taijutsu that splendid before in my life!"

"Neither had we," Hisako remarked quietly.

"Seriously," Tenten agreed. "Where did he learn how to do that?"

"I don't know," Nichiren confessed. Hisako said nothing.

"Really?" Tenten asked. "You don't know where he got that level of training."

"Nope," Nichiren answered. "Kakashi's been…getting me up to speed for most of the time we've been a team and he's only started putting more energy into teaching Hisako, so…"

"Getting you up to speed?" Tenten asked. "What does that mean?"

"I…uh, I cheated on my graduation exams," Nichiren explained sheepishly.

"How un-youthful!" Lee decried.

"I know, I know," Nichiren replied. "Trust me, I know. I got a lecture from the Hokage and everything."

"That means you must work twice as hard to make up for the time you've lost!" Lee replied, full of vigor. The sound of the table briefly shaking meant that Lee was now standing on top of the table. "Because you've been given a second chance and you must not waste it!"

Gai was holding back tears of joy. "I'm so proud."

"Not to ruin the moment Gai," Kakashi replied. "But I think he's drawing attention we don't want."

Gai's shoulders fell. "Right, right. Of course.

He stood turned around a looked around the wall. "Lee-san! Your youth is legendary! But we don't want to start a scene, so…you mind getting down?"

"Yes, Gai-sensei," The table shook briefly, but there was no sound of clashing dishes. So everything was fine and Lee was off the table. "Sorry Gai-sensei."

"That's okay, Lee!" Gai gave him a thumbs up. "Just remember, there is a time and a place for everything."

They went back to their meal.

"But Daisuke hasn't received much training," Neji brought the group back on topic.

"No, he hasn't," Hisako sounded more and more defeated with each passing syllable.

"Wasn't he your main sparring partner in the academy?"

" _Yes_ ," Hisako sounded insulted that he even brought that up. "He almost always won, too. Then we got out of the academy and now he just always wins. 'Graduating the Academy was very Inspiring' my boot. He was holding back."

"What?" Tenten asked. "What does graduating the academy have to do with it?"

"That's what he told Hisako to explain the spike he had in skill," Nichiren replied.

Gai looked at Kakashi with a confused look on his face.

"That doesn't make any sense," Tenten argued.

"We know," Hisako almost snarled. "Believe me, we know all the different ways that Daisuke doesn't make sense."

"I…don't buy the youthfulness of that explanation," Lee replied, sounding disappointed. "The fact that I was allowed to graduate in spite of my lack of talent was incredible, but it didn't simply raise my ability with Taijutsu through sheer inspirational power. Only hard work can do that."

" _Thank you_ ," Hisako breathed in relief. "Finally, someone actually notices something!"

"I'm sure everyone that's met your teammate has noticed something unusual," Neji pointed out.

"Probably, but they all seem to brush it off as normal or something," Hisako retorted. "You all understand that he's _completely abnormal_ with no good explanations."

"He obviously has a Kekkei Genkai," Neji sounded mildly upset.

"We know he does," Nichiren said. "That's literally his excuse for everything impossible he does."

"Like what?" Tenten sounded a little upset too.

"For starters, there's the fact that he can regenerate any wound with a good night's sleep," Nichiren replied, sounding tired. "Like the time he lost an eye; It was stabbed clean through and then it was back the next day."

"That's incredible!" Lee said in awe.

"How did he lose an eye?" Neji sounded like he didn't want to think of such a horrible thing happening.

Both were quiet for a second, then there was the sound of someone getting up.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Hisako came around the booth. "Can we talk about what happened at the house?"

"Yes," Kakashi nodded. "The Hokage gave us permission for us to share our experiences there."

But not the actual details of the investigation, simply because it was on-going with _no_ good leads. Not even the butler knew there was anything inside the house besides walls and furniture and he volunteered for a Yamanaka mind-read. With the owner dead, all leads were temporarily dried. Not that Hisako, Nichiren or Daisuke _knew_ that, but it was enough to give Kakashi nightmares.

"Thank you, sensei," Hisako bowed lightly and went back to her booth.

Gai pointed at the wall behind him, like he was asking if he could listen. Kakashi gestured in a matter that said 'be my guest'.

"So, two weeks ago, we get a D-rank mission," Hisako started explaining. "A merchant was moving out of Konoha and selling his house. Simple enough, right?"

"It does seem simple," Lee agreed. "What happened?"

"Nichiren and I were sent to go clean the master bathroom," Hisako continued. "I'm…not sure what happened, but we were put under a Genjutsu. We saw…bad things and Kakashi managed to save us both. Apparently, we got pulled into a room and when I came too, I saw Kakashi…and saw that he went to save Daisuke first."

"That makes sense," Neji replied. "He does have a unique and valuable Kekkei Genkai."

Kakashi stood up and walked over to their table, balancing himself on the divider that separated the two. "Just to clarify, Daisuke managed to break free of the Genjutsu on his own. I had trouble getting you out as I needed to use one of most dangerous and chakra intensive techniques to get you out and the house kept making earth clones to attack us."

"That's almost worse," Hisako buried her face in her folded arms.

"Just helping you understand what happened," Kakashi replied. "Please go on, we're listening very intently."

Gai stood up and went to the opposite side of Kakashi with a winning smile, that was supposed to be re-assuring.

"Okay, well," Hisako took a deep breath. "Kakashi saved me, then Nichiren. Apparently Daisuke's got himself out. Somehow. Anyway, we got up to leave the house when we saw this… _raven-man_ standing in one of the windows. Up by the corner of the roof."

"Woah," Lee looked like couldn't imagine something so cool.

"This was the owner of the house?" Tenten frowned.

"Apparently," Nichiren shrugged.

"Probably a Henge," Neji supplied, eyes focused and unmoving. "Or something similar to the Inuzuka's man-beast transformation."

"I guess," Hisako replied. "But that's not the scary part."

Nichiren took a deep breath.

"The raven-man made a hand seal, and the floor, down on the first floor _exploded_ ," Hisako explained with a deepening frown. "The concrete foundation of the house was alive, every last inch of it covered in glowing red seals."

Team 9 all gave surprised looks, with Tenten's being filled with fear, Neji's being too understated to tell and Lee's being filled with excitement.

"The giant concrete monster shot up, swallowed Daisuke and made a giant concrete wall that I was scared was going to crush us," Hisako took a deep breath, then swallowed a mouthful of elixir and shuddered. "It didn't, but it slowed Kakashi-sensei down long enough for the raven and the monster to escape down a tunnel network that was apparently _under_ the foundation."

"How did something like that even get _made_ in Konoha?" Tenten asked with a startled look on his face.

"I don't know," Hisako shrugged helplessly. She looked at Kakashi.

Kakashi also shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"You're kidding," Hisako said blankly.

"Nope," Kakashi replied. "You did kill it, though."

"Yes we did," Nichiren nodded, looking a little pleased with himself.

"How did you kill it?" Lee asked, giving his full, undivided attention to the two members of Cell 13.

"It was Nichiren's idea," Hisako replied.

"Yes it was," Nichiren now looked even more smug. "I brought along some explosive notes and ninja wire. While they were down there, Hisako carried me down there along the wall and I rigged the tunnel entrance to explode. We managed to get back up before Kakashi-sensei came back with Daisuke on his back. Then the monster came back and I detonated the tunnel entrance."

"That makes sense," Tenten nodded. "That's very clever."

"Thank you," Nichiren smiled.

"Why did Hisako need to carry you?" Neji asked with a risen eyebrow.

"The staircases had been completely destroyed," Nichiren answered. "And I didn't know the tree walking technique yet."

Neji hummed and frowned, but didn't say anything further.

"So you killed it with giant explosions?" Lee asked with a giant smile and wide eyes.

"Well, we greatly reduced its size," Nichiren clarified. "It made all the difference, though."

"Yes it did," Kakashi nodded. "If you both hadn't have done that, we wouldn't be standing here today."

"Thanks Sensei," Nichiren smiled.

"What happened next?" Tenten asked.

"I'm curious as to what that has to do with losing an eye," Neji frowned.

"I'm getting there," Hisako frowned. "So, Daisuke and Kakashi-sensei are down there fighting the raven- _thing_ and the remains of the concrete monster. They come back up to the third level after a little bit. Apparently, Kakashi-sensei was starting to suffer from chakra exhaustion from so many…what was it called? Chidori?"

"That's the one," Kakashi nodded. "The walls resisted everything else."

Gai looked alarmed, taken aback by that. "What?"

Kakashi held up a hand. "Let's let her finish her story before we get into the details."

"Alright," Gai nodded.

"Well, the thing follows them. The monster, which absorbs chakra, I learned, trapped Kakashi-sensei and the raven-man went after Daisuke," Hisako blinked heavily and took a deep breath. "I heard a loud _splat_ and Daisuke started screaming. Nichiren and I both walked over there and saw the raven…his entire bottom half had been reduced to a red smear on the ground and Daisuke was in a fetal position, holding his eye, because he had a feather lodged into it."

"Amazing," Lee's eyes were wide. "And yet he had both of them when we sparred today."

"The basement monster died with the owner," Hisako finished with a frown. "Kakashi rushed Daisuke to the hospital and Nichiren and I were both allowed to go home after telling ANBU what happened."

"We went to check on him the next day," Nichiren said. "I expected to see a heavily bandaged Daisuke who was now a cyclops. What I got was a perfectly healthy teammate who was reading and looking bored."

"He regrew his eye," Neji stated, unbelievingly and with a blank look.

"They had to remove the eye to remove the feather," Kakashi supplied. "Daisuke's bloodline, initially, was a full recovery on a goodnights sleep. Then he started piling other stuff on top of it."

"That's crazy," Tenten replied, her eyes boggling.

"We know," Nichiren tiredly confirmed. "Believe us, we know."

"Anyway, I just wanted to listen to the story," Kakashi eye-smiled. "Carry on."

He walked back to his seat, and picked up his chop-sticks. Gai sat across from him.

"There's rumors going around," Gai started with a grim look on his face. "About that. About what was inside…some even say we don't have a clue how the house _got_ there."

"I can't talk about the current investigation," Kakashi said, sounding depressed. "I'm sorry."

"The other Jounin are scared, Kakashi," Gai said with a frown.

"I am too," Kakashi replied quietly.

"So you're upset that Daisuke outstrips all of us as a shinobi," Neji started. "That you're fated to be on a team where you have no hope of contributing anything meaningful in comparison to him."

Gai face-palmed, grumbling to himself, while Kakashi looked at him oddly.

"I wouldn't say it's fate," Hisako said in a monotone. "I'd call it bad luck."

"There's no such thing as luck," Neji continued. "It's all fate. Daisuke's fated to dominate as a shinobi, but be completely incapable of maintaining a friendship and you're fated to never catch up to him and hate him for the rest of your days."

"And what would _you_ know about fate?" Hisako started to get angry. "Does fate send you a messenger hawk to let you know the days forecast?"

"It's obvious what fate has decreed," Neji was getting angry too. "You just need to look how a person starts to see where they'll end up."

"Daisuke started as a no-name orphan with nothing going for him," Hisako stated blandly. "Now he's got a monster Kekkei Genkai and is the future leader of a clan _filled_ with people with that monster Kekkei Genkai. Sorry, your logic doesn't hold water."

"He still can't hold a friendship," Neji sniffed dismissively. "His entire clan, if he even gets one, will quickly find themselves ostracized by the rest of the shinobi world and thrown out of Konoha, then split apart into a thousand pieces because none of them can stand each other, basically dooming the whole clan to being no-name orphans with nothing going for them."

"And where will _you_ be in the future?" Hisako asked sweetly. "What's _your_ fate, Neji? What's going to happen to you if we judge you by your beginnings?"

"I-" Neji began hotly, then fell silent.

"That's what I thought," Hisako grumbled.

Gai wiped his brow in relief. Kakashi could feel the almost killing intent coming from Neji pouring from him right now.

"L-Lets just eat our food, shall we?" Tenten asked nervously.

* * *

 _Author's Note: I'm well aware that Hinata may not fall into the 'Stalking is Love' trope, but she had enough similarities to annoy Daisuke. I actually quite like her._

 _Also, I hope everyone was in character and that you didn't mind the perspective switch. I predict one more chapter before we get to the next arc. If anyone has any critique or feedback, I would be happy to hear it._


	17. Field Trip

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"Well, it's time for our first C-rank," Kakashi eye-smiled, holding a mission scroll in his hand.

Wait, really?

"Already?" Hisako frowned.

"Oh wow," Nichiren rubbed his eyes underneath his glasses.

"After the house fiasco, I think a normal old C-rank is perfectly within your abilities," Kakashi replied, still eye smiling.

"We should be able to do a normal C-rank," I nodded in agreement. "What's the mission?"

"A client is moving supplies from Konoha to Kusa," Kakashi explained, reading the scrolls contents. "We will be making two stops on our way to the border to collect additional shipments and then we'll hand the shipment off to a team from Kusa to complete our part."

Oh, we're going to Grass. Nice.

"What's in the shipment?" Nichiren asked with a frown.

"Non-perishable items," Kakashi read. "Sheets of cloth, silk and a small order of kunai and shuriken."

"We're letting them have weapons?" Hisako asked.

"Konoha has a trade agreement with Kusa," Kakashi elaborated. "We allow traders and merchants to move small amounts of common weapons between the two countries."

"That makes sense," I nodded. "So, we're just body guards?"

"That's part of it," Kakashi nodded. "The other part is making sure they don't exceed the weapons count maximum with the two additions we'll be collecting. Sound good?"

"Sure," Hisako replied, a little hesitant.

"I think so," Nichiren replied.

"Sounds simple enough," I nodded.

"Good," Kakashi replied. "Mission begins tomorrow at 0600. Pack everything you need for a three-day trip and some Ryo. We'll meet the caravan at the front gates."

 _Quest Accepted: The Organ Trail_

 _-Meet your team at the gates at 6am._

I sighed in annoyance and Kakashi looked at me.

"Did you just have a premonition?" Kakashi asked seriously.

"...yes," I hesitantly began.

"Is the mission going to go wrong?" Kakashi asked.

"…it's probably going to be more interesting than we'd like it to be," I replied, my toes twitching in my boots.

" _Great_ ," Hisako breathed in exasperation.

"So did you see a vision or something about this or…" Kakashi asked.

…there's really no point in lying, is there? They already have an idea that I see things in the future and they're right… This is going to suck a _lot_. Best case? My teammates think I'm an even bigger freak than before. Worst case? I fight my way out of T and I because _screw T and I._

Wait… _epiphany._ Sweet, holy brilliance! Why didn't I think of this sooner?

"Ummmm…so, I'm going to be the leader of a clan one day, right?" I asked Kakashi.

He seemed taken aback by that. "Most likely. Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm calling clan secrets on this," I replied, folding my arms. "I don't want to answer any more questions about my bloodline."

"Why?" Hisako asked, sounding a little startled.

"I don't want to discuss the deep, startling implications of what I can do," I replied defensively, looking at Hisako and Nichiren. "You both already think I'm a freak enough, I don't need to add more fuel to the fire."

"We don't think you're…" Hisako went quiet with a deep frown.

Nichiren gulped.

"…who you decide to discuss the details of your bloodline with is your right, Daisuke," Kakashi began calmly. "But if we're walking into another mission that could turn into an A or even an S rank, we need to know."

But I can't keep anything they already know from them, can I? Keeping important information from the village could be considered grounds for treason in some cases. "Fine. If you must know, this mission is probably going to turn into something about an organ trade. I don't know any concrete details beyond the idea that we'll be directly involved."

"Organ trade," Kakashi said softly. "Alright. Wait here."

Kakashi ran up the stairs, undoubtedly going to the Hokage's office.

I walked over to the nearest seat.

"I'm going to meditate guys," I said with a tired look. "Don't wait up on me."

"Wait," Hisako started – but I was already out like a light. I didn't want to talk to them right now.

I came too when Kakashi came back down the stairs. "Daisuke?"

"Yeah," I responded.

"Good, you are awake," Kakashi nodded. "The Hokage wants to talk to you."

Headache. So much headache. "Alright."

I stood and followed my Sensei up the stairs.

 _Remember: Be on your best behavior when the Hokage visits,_ I remember Matron Kumiko telling me. _He is the villages greatest member and should be treated with respect._

I'll never forget the lesson. I always tried harder to watch myself around Hiruzen, because a slip up could be deadly.

The Hokage's office was _much_ wider than was strictly necessary, allowing the windows to provide a magnificent view of the village. His desk was set against the windows, and in the chair was Hiruzen, wearing the Hokage-hat.

"Hokage-sama," I bowed. "You wanted to see me?"

"I do, Daisuke-kun," The Hokage replied, taking a puff from his pipe. "It's been a few weeks since I saw you last. How have you been?"

"Alright, I guess," I shrugged.

"That's good to hear," The Hokage answered cheerfully. "Onto business. Kakashi has told me that you occasionally receive premonitions regarding the details of missions you undertake. Is that true?"

"Yes," I replied with a frown.

"Hmmmm…" The Hokage said. "He has also told me that you have been having trouble adjusting to your team because they are unnerved by your capabilities. Is that correct?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"I see," His face was partially obscured by the shadow of his hat. "Well, I can understand not wanting to unnerve them further, and I applaud such an effort but invoking clan secrecy on things we already know about doesn't help. In fact, it does the opposite."

"I apologize, Hokage-sama," I said. "I'm…just sick of hearing about my bloodline."

"I'm not surprised that is the case," Hiruzen answered. "People are often afraid of things that do not make sense."

I winced.

"But that does not mean the thing which is not understood is bad, or harmful," The Hokage continued. "I understand from the reports about the House Incident that you were instrumental in that mission's resolution. You helped save your teammates lives and that is commendable."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," I replied.

Hiruzen nodded, taking his pipe out of his mouth. "You have a powerful gift. A gift that we haven't begun to understand fully, but a gift it is. Daisuke, you're a good person. It may not always come across in your manner or your speech, but that goodness is there. Naruto saw it, and so do I. Your teammates undoubtedly see it as well."

"But Hokage-sama, the-" He held up a hand and I shut up.

"Your teammates are intimidated by your power," Hiruzen explained. "But they will work through it. This, I can promise you. Neither are the type to go insane if a peer speeds past them in progress. I would know, I've met a few like that."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," I muttered.

"I will not ask you what form your premonitions take or when you get them," Hiruzen continued. "But if you know anything about the mission you have agreed to undertake that would change the mission ranking or that would point out if operational security is at risk, you would be doing a great service to your village if you shared your knowledge."

Oh, the guilt tripping. It hurts. But, I don't know all that much. "I'm sorry, but I only know that it has something to do an organ. Or organs."

"That is fairly ominous," Hiruzen puffed his pipe. "Do you believe you can handle the mission?"

"Yes," I answered as honestly as I could. "Yes, I believe I can handle it. The only reason I freaked out over the house was because I didn't think I could handle it. Yet, I did."

"But you did receive a premonition about that house?" The Hokage asked.

Oh crap. "Yes."

"Hmmm…" Hiruzen puffed his pipe. "Then I do not need to explain the importance of sharing information to you, do I?"

"No, Hokage-sama," I replied. "I understand perfectly."

"Very good," He smiled. "Now, we have compiled a rather lengthy set of research notes regarding your bloodline, including quite a few theories as to how it works, precisely. Do you want them?"

"What?" I asked with a frown.

"What we know about your bloodline," The Hokage repeated. "If you're going to start claiming clan secrets this early, I imagine you don't want anyone to have access to those notes. Understandable, that's the right of every clan and person with a bloodline."

"What have you figured out?" I asked carefully.

"Well," The Hokage pulled a large manuscript-looking thing from his desk.

He's been studying it. I don't know whether I should feel honored or threatened.

"Besides your perfect chakra control, the ability to invent Ninjutsu more or less on the fly and your total recovery from any injury with sleep," The Hokage began, emptying his pipe's ashes into the trash. "There's the pattern we've noticed that you get more powerful in bursts as opposed to gradually, there's theories that you invent Taijutsu moves and forms like you do Ninjutsu and the suspicion that for you, sleep is actually optional. As is food and drink."

Holy cow.

"There's several theories as to how your bloodline works as well," Hiruzen explained. "My favorite one is that your body uses chakra to keep everything about you as a static imprint until a certain point is reached and it changes everything to a new high, with a spike in a different area. It would explain why you don't train nearly as much as you should for such a high level of proficiency and barely study."

I was quiet for a moment. "…Taijutsu is actually my specialty. Ninjutsu is more of a hobby for me at this point."

Kakashi looked at me with his only eye boggling, almost bouncing out of its socket.

"Is that so?" Hiruzen smiled with narrowing eyes. "Well, that explains how you bested the Hyuuga prodigy."

"He didn't stand a chance," I frowned, looking at my boots. "I felt bad."

"Don't feel bad," Hiruzen replied with a light chuckle. "It was a fair duel between two combatants. You could do nothing to reduce your skill beyond letting him win and he now has motivation to train harder."

I shrugged. "Still…"

"The question stands," Hiruzen placed the reports on his desk. "Do you want them?"

On the one hand, I should destroy them. If I want to figure out the how's and why's of my bloodline, I'll up my medicine skill and study it myself. Leaving that intact only gives people more clues that I do not belong. On the other hand, they know quite a bit more than I thought and haven't broken out the torches and pitchforks and letting them keep it might be a show of good faith in the village. Plus, the Hokage probably has a spare somewhere, so destroying it would be pointless.

"…who has access to them?"

"Myself, Doctor Endoso Takeichi, and his two assistants," The Hokage replied.

Right, the Hokage and my Doctor. Please tell me neither of those assistants are Kabuto. "Who are his assistants?"

"Misawa Tsukasa and Shibasaki Atsuko," The Hokage replied. "Doctor Endoso has requested a larger team to help him understand what we have, but I can tell him that won't be necessary."

"You can keep them for now," I said with a frown. "There's not really a point to taking them from you if you know that much."

"Hmm, good to know," The Hokage replaced the research in his desk.

"Has Doctor Endoso submitted a list of names he'd like on the project?" I asked cautiously.

"He has," The Hokage looked at me curiously. "I can allow you to look at them if you'd prefer."

You know, he's being very accommodating. What's his game, exactly? "I would…if it's not too much trouble, Hokage-sama. I apologize if I'm imposing."

The Hokage dug out a piece of paper, and held it out for me. "Don't worry about it for now."

I stood and carefully took the paper. There were thirteen names and I didn't care what they were but…yeah. He was on there. Crap.

"Is there something wrong?" The Hokage asked carefully.

"I…don't want Yakushi Kabuto working on my bloodline," Let's see how much I can milk this 'premonition' thing they've given me. "I predict bad things if he's on the project."

"I see," The Hokage replied with a serious air. "…we'll honor the request and do an investigation. But in return, I want you to do your utmost to serve Konoha with the gift you have. Am I clear?"

"Crystal clear, Hokage-sama," I replied with a bow, handing the sheet back. "Thank you. I won't let you down."

"Very good," Hiruzen smiled. "Now. Kakashi, your mission parameters have changed. In addition to the normal objectives, your team is to investigate the supply train and its cargo. Do not let the client know what you are doing. If you find anything substantial, handle it. Am I understood?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Kakashi bowed.

"Dismissed," The Hokage nodded and we left his office.

I let out a massive sigh of relief. Keeping an eye on my social behavior to that degree was exhausting. "I have a headache."

"I'm sure it'll pass," Kakashi replied uneasily.

We came down the stairs and my teammates were still there. Hisako was sitting down, leaning forward with her hands clasped. Nichiren was sitting across from her, leaning back in a bench on the wall next to the stairs. They both looked at me.

"Daisuke," Hisako looked concerned. Well, I did just go meet the Hokage and all, which can be pretty concerning.

"See you guys tomorrow," I waved, making for the exit.

"Hold on a second," Nichiren grabbed my wrist to stop me, but I easily slid out of that and kept going.

"Daisuke, don't go," Hisako pleaded. "We need to talk."

I almost made it through the exit. I wanted to go through the exit. But I didn't go through the exit. I turned on my heel to face my team. "Alright. I'm listening."

Hisako looked honestly surprised. "I…we don't think you're a freak. Really."

"What I said yesterday was out of line," Nichiren rubbed the back of his head. "I'm sorry."

"But also entirely accurate," I folded my arms. "And I told you to give it to me straight, remember?"

"Well, yeah," Nichiren frowned. "I…wasn't being fair. I was mad about getting in trouble with my parents."

"Over me," I rose my eyebrow. "And I am sorry about that…I just wanted to make a good first impression for once in my life. Didn't realize I was screwing my teammate over, is all."

"I didn't think he would get in trouble with his parents," Hisako replied, glancing down at her boots. "How were you supposed to know?"

"People like consistency," I shrugged. "He said repeatedly that they knew I was socially deficient. I just…didn't put two and two together. As usual."

That last bit was a mutter at myself.

 _Almost Perfect_ can't come fast enough.

"And you have problems of your own," I said, looking pointedly at Hisako. "Care to share?"

Her eyes went wide, like a deer in the headlights. She looked down at her boots, her words starting to slowly come out. "I…"

"Let's not do this here," Kakashi gestured to the area around the mission desk. "Let's find someplace private, then we can talk."

"My Dad's home," Hisako frowned. "So that's not private."

"My house isn't all that private to begin with," Nichiren added. "My mom stays at home most of the time."

"…I suppose we could use my apartment," I hesitantly supplied. "It's not far from here."

They all looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"…that's a good idea," Kakashi replied. "Are you sure?"

"No," I replied. "But we need a place to talk, right? Come on."

I started walking toward the exit and I heard the sound of footsteps behind me. The way to my apartment wasn't far, but it was longer than I was used too, because I was consciously aware that neither Hisako or Nichiren could Shunshin.

After about fifteen minutes, we got up to my apartment door. I dug the keys out of one of my storage scrolls and opened the door, ushering anyone in.

…you know; I really should clean this place. Those footprints on the walls from pacing all over the place really don't look good. Maybe should have some chairs or something when I have guests over. The only thing amounting to decoration would be the scrolls pushed to one side that I was using to write out jutsu theory, most of it half-baked.

"It's…spacious," Hisako looked unpleasantly surprised.

"Thank you?" I replied.

"Yeah…a lot of space," Nichiren blinked.

"I have a futon, so it's not completely blank," I replied, closing the door behind everyone. "Find a spot on the floor. Sit down."

I took a spot on the floor, my usual one when writing something down. The carpet was partially worn down in this spot, and I used chakra strings to pull in things as I needed. Very handy, that Jutsu.

My two peers sat down in front of me. Kakashi sat to my left, watching the proceedings.

"So," I began. "Let's hear it."

Hisako took a deep breath, stiffening and licking her lips. Her words came out slowly, as if fighting herself. "I…hate how powerful you are."

"I knew that," I frowned. "Why?"

"Because," Hisako swallowed. "It's not _fair_."

Well, yes. Obviously nothing about me is fair. Well, I did die and get ripped away from everything I've ever known but I was also handed the most broken bloodline in the world that's only going to get worse as it goes on. So…I guess it's _almost_ fair. Almost.

Granted, fair is subjective. I learned that lesson a long time ago.

I gestured for her to continue.

"I've worked really hard to graduate the academy," Hisako continued with a frown. "Nichiren's worked very hard to stay on the team. But you? You just keep getting handed ability after ability, power after power just by being _born_."

"Sorry," I started. "I-"

"Stop," Hisako snapped. Then she gulped. "Please, let me finish."

Okay. I swallowed my indignation at being interrupted. I hate being interrupted.

"I'd be okay with this if there was a top," Hisako continued, her eyes starting to water. "If there was an end to the power ups and you could…actually work alongside us to get better. Right now, it almost feels like we have two Sensei's and one of them is _my age_. It doesn't _feel_ good."

…that would suck, yeah.

"Where does it end?" Hisako asked. "Are you going to be Hokage? Are you going to rule the elemental countries? The world? Are you even going to bother with anyone else when you get up there?"

I waited.

"That's what scares me," Hisako frowned. "That you'll get so powerful that you'll decide you don't need Konoha anymore. That you don't need friends anymore. That you don't need…m- _us_ anymore."

Ooh. That's…I didn't think about that.

"And yeah," Hisako blinked away the tears. "I'm jealous, if that's what you were thinking. Insanely jealous. I trained with my parents a lot before I went to the academy. Then I get put on the same team as someone who managed to figure out everything they taught me _on his own_ and then just kept going."

I just barely bit back the correction; 'envious'.

"So yeah," She sniffed. "That's how I feel."

I blinked. "I…don't know what to say to all of that."

Hisako sighed and hung her head.

Maybe…well, when I had my higher charisma I thought that maybe helping them learn some jutsu would be nice. "…would it help if I helped you learn some jutsu?"

"What do you mean?" Hisako sniffed.

"Well...I mean, is there a cool idea for a jutsu you've had that you don't know how to do?" I asked. "If so…I could help you learn it. If that would help, I mean. I don't want to make you think I'm a sensei or anything, because I'm not."

Hisako's eyes went wide. So did Nichiren's.

"Like…Nichiren, I have a smoke-screen jutsu," I said, looking toward Nichiren. "If you wanted to stop having to bring your own smoke bombs, I could teach it to you."

"You have a smoke-screen jutsu," Nichiren repeated.

"Yes."

Nichiren looked at Kakashi, who simply shrugged. "I…don't know. I'd have to think about it."

"I understand that," I nodded, then I turned to Hisako. She…didn't look happy.

"Hisako," I began. "I don't wan-"

"Just forget it," Hisako stood up, and ran out the door.

"…okay then," I said, blinking at the door. "What just happened?"

"Well," Kakashi was thoughtful. "You did just offer to teach her jutsu after she said she doesn't like feeling that she has two sensei's."

I face-palmed. "Sorry, Sensei."

"I appreciate the thought, in any case," Kakashi sounded exhausted. "I'd have to see the Jutsu before you taught it to Nichiren, to make sure it's safe for general use."

"Yes Sensei," I replied with a frown. I can't believe I missed that...

"Also, Daisuke?" Kakashi said, giving me a very pointed look. "I might have asked you to help teach Nichiren, but…try to remember; _I'm_ the Sensei here. Don't offer to teach anything to your classmates unless I give my consent, please."

I got this knot in my stomach. "Right. Yes. Sorry, Sensei. I meant no disrespect. Really!"

"I didn't think you did," Kakashi sighed. "Just try to think a bit more about what you say and offer to do, alright?"

"Hai Sensei," I replied, still feeling the burn of embarrassment.

"Also, maybe you should invest in some furniture," Kakashi eye-smiled, standing up. "It feels empty."

"I'll think about it," I frowned.

* * *

Come five-thirty in the morning, and I was at the village gates. To my surprise, I wasn't the first one there. Even more surprising, it wasn't any member of my team that was getting ready at the gates, but a civilian, preparing a cart that was mounted to an ox.

Did not know they had oxen of all things. I've learned something new, so today is shaping up to be a good day.

The ox was massive and its horns looked like the pointiest kunai I've ever laid eyes on. Even in the dim, morning light, I could see the fur was a dark brown. My nose crinkled at the odor the beast had, the smell of sweat and other scents assaulting my nostrils like they had done some unpardonable sin.

Behind the cart was a man, burly and hairy. He wore a simple tunic, with a straw hat placed on his head. I heard him humming a small tune to himself as he loaded wooden crates into the back of the cart.

This was most certainly the client.

…maybe I can help?

"Excuse me?" I probed.

"Hmm?" He looked up at me. "Oh. Beat it kid, I've got work to do."

"I'm supposed to meet a client here at six for a mission," I informed him. "My team is escorting a shipment of supplies going to Kusa. I'm guessing that's you?"

The man blinked. "Oh. Sorry, shinobi-kun. Didn't see the belt…usually you people wear a headband, right?"

"Usually," I nodded. "I prefer the belt. My names Shimoda Daisuke. What's yours?"

"Arai Nakazo," He tipped his hat to me. "Well, if you don't have any business to discuss, I need to get back to work."

"Need any help?" I asked.

"Nope," He replied, grunting as he moved a crate onto the wagon.

"Alright," I shrugged. "Shout if you need anything."

"Will do," He replied, picking up another crate.

As it turns out, he didn't need my help. He managed to get each crate perfectly fitted on the wagon with five minutes to spare and I noted two crates marked with orange X's that were taped on the side. Those must have been the weapons. Mr. Arai hopped into the driver's seat and leaned back with a yawn.

Then Nichiren and Kakashi-sensei showed up.

I waved. "Nichiren. Kakashi-sensei."

"Daisuke-kun," Kakashi nodded. "You're early as usual."

"And you're on time," I grinned.

"Of course," He eye-smiled. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"So, on a scale of one to ten, how hard is this mission going to be?" Nichiren asked me, straightening his glasses.

"I don't know," I shrugged.

Nichiren groaned softly. "Really?"

"Really," I rose my eyebrow in disapproval.

Just a minute before six, Hisako ran up, breathing heavily. Evidently, she had just run here from her house. "Sorry, had some trouble with my gear. Am I late?"

"Nope," Kakashi answered. "You're actually right on time."

"Yes!" She gave a small fist-pump. "When are we leaving?"

"In a few minutes," Kakashi replied, turning to the Mr. Arai. "We need five minutes to review mission objectives."

"Sure, sure," He replied with a wave. "Just don't take too long. We're supposed to be at the first stop by sundown."

Kakashi nodded to him and shepherded us a few ways off to talk in private. "So, our mission's gotten more complicated."

"Oh no," Nichiren's face fell.

"What's that mean?" Hisako asked, folding her arms.

"It means that the Hokage's added a couple of objectives in light of Daisuke's premonition," Kakashi replied.

"Great," Hisako wasn't thrilled with that. "What are we doing?"

"Not only are we providing body-guard duty and checking the weapons crates, which we need to do before we leave, we're also investigating the supply chain and cargo for anything to do with organs," Kakashi said. "That parts to be kept secret. Don't breathe a _word_ about it to anyone we meet along the way, am I understood?"

We gave our affirmatives.

"Good," Kakashi nodded.

"So what about the other cargo?" I asked, gesturing to the wagon. "Do we need to investigate those right now."

"Good point," Kakashi replied, looking at the wagon. "I'll take care of that right now. At the first stop, I'll show you how to perform an examination like that."

"Hai Sensei," I nodded. He walked over to the wagon, had a brief word with the driver. The driver, sounding irritated, got off his seat and watched Sensei go to work. He examined each box, prying the lid off of each, leafing through the contents swiftly before replacing the lid. The boxes with the orange X's did contain kunai and shuriken, and Kakashi paid extra care with these boxes.

After twenty minutes, each box was shut and the driver was back on his seat.

"Alright, let's go," Kakashi nodded to us.

"Are we walking?" Nichiren asked, raising a hand as we fell into formation.

"Yup," Kakashi nodded. "We're Shinobi. It won't be nearly as taxing for us as it would be for a civilian.

Walking from sunup to sundown, huh? Well, I guess following on my nightly runs isn't as stamina intensive as I thought.

Mr. Arai snapped the reigns and the oxen started to move. We fell in step, walking around the wagon as directed. I watched the gates of Konoha as I passed through them, feeling just a hint of sadness as I stepped out of my home for the past twelve and some-odd years for the first time.

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail._

 _Completed: Meet with your team at 6am._

 _Guard the Wagon on the way to its first stop._

Looking ahead from my position to the right of the wagon, I saw the path that lead away from the village. To the mission. To the Organ Trail.

…that pun is _horrible_.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Arkeus The Infinite; you get a cookie._

 _Because, as I am uploading all of these chapters after previously writing them, you reminded me that I have failed to update some of them correctly. Daisuke's perk choice was changed based on feedback when I first wrote the chapter and I never changed the master document. So, I've made the change to the chapter, which brings Daisuke's stats back into alignment._

 _Other than that, nothing special. Just the start of a new mission. Hope you enjoyed it._

 _~Fulcon_


	18. Investigations

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

The day was going long. Our march under the burning sun would've been torture if I actually needed sleep or any form of sustenance. Nichiren and Hisako seemed to be holding up well enough. A cool breeze wafted through the pines as we walked alongside the wagon.

I was on the right, and I had my notebook out, turned to the 'notes' section because I was trying to help my social skills. Emphasis on the word try.

 _Charisma Check Failed: 4/5._

Oh, come on!

 _Charisma Check Failed: 4/5._

So, I had this idea to try and predict a conversation with my teammates. Create a flow-chart, plot out a normal conversation and all the interesting turns. The problem? I'm having trouble actually figuring out how they would actually react and say. Word-choice in particular is turning into a problem.

To put it in exaggerated fashion, the conversation would go like this.

"Hi, teammates!"I would say cheerfully.

"Hi, Daisuke!" Nichiren and Hisako would also say.

"Hi, Sensei!" I would say to Kakashi-sensei.

"Hi Daisuke," He would reply.

"I know you guys think I'm a freak…want to learn some jutsu? I promise it'll help!" I would offer.

"Sure!" They would say.

End-scene.

I hate being socially inept. I feel like I'm tackling a mountain without arms with this. Because there are infinite directions a conversation can go and without the ability to understand my teammates emotional patterns and thoughts, I have no possible means of creating a reasonable path…so what are my teammates issues?

Okay, so clearly Hisako doesn't like how powerful I am. I just don't understand _why_. I mean, sure, she's jealous. I can get that. I'd be pretty jealous too if I met someone like me and I didn't operate under the rules of an RPG. But…why on earth would I want to become Hokage? That's Naruto's shtick, not mine. All that responsibility and pressure. I'm already being set up to lead a clan, I don't need to make my situation worse. Ruling the world can screw _right off_.

I have the powers of an RPG character. Not the work ethic.

There's also the two Sensei's thing, which I stepped on last time I talked to her. Offended Kakashi-sensei, too, I think. But…why? If I got the opportunity to learn an awesome Jutsu, I'd take the opportunity immediately. I mean, Kakashi's great, but he's spending most of his time with Nichiren and Hisako. I'm not getting the Jutsu I thought I'd be getting! Wouldn't Kakashi be thrilled at not needing to shoulder all of the load?

…

Back on topic. This is about Hisako, not Kakashi. He's got his own issues.

So…okay, maybe a flowchart just isn't working for me. Stupid RPG mechanics. Uh…okay. So maybe instead of planning it out to absurd degree, since I need some level of emotional intuitiveness for that, maybe I can outline where I simply shouldn't go instead. Create a few danger zones that I don't enter?

Well...wait, what was it that Hisako said, on the day we became a team? "I don't like being told someone's unbeatable"? Probably why she's got so many issues with me. Geeze. Okay, so. Danger zones. She most emphatically doesn't want to be taught by me.

I blinked and held in the sigh of irritation. That doesn't make any sense! It's _stupid_. Childish! Well, she is twelve, so…small wonder. No offering to teach her that awesome poison kunai-coating jutsu idea that I had and was going to try at some point in the mission.

Sure. Fine.

…so dumb.

Any others? Well…probably shouldn't come up with Jutsu on the mission. Maybe? Does that even matter that much? I don't think it does. It shouldn't. But…it's better to be safe than sorry. Makes no real sense, though.

You know, I could be doing all the wrong things and I'd have no idea until after the fact. That agitates me. I could fix that with an amulet or piece of jewelry or some other article of clothing that increases my charisma. Not to level _8_ , but enough that I'm not losing my head over this.

But is increasing my charisma a good idea?

I don't think so. Not until Almost Perfect, but only because I won't have a choice – all the perks in my build after that need higher special stats than what I've got.

The thought of Hisako crushing on me freaks me out. Partially because she's twelve but mostly because I _like_ the idea of her crushing on me. Which is freaky and makes me feel terrible for obvious reasons.

Another danger zone, anything including my ridiculous aptitude. Okay, simple enough.

Now…what do I _do?_ I know what I don't need to do. But…I don't know, emphasize what she can do that I can't? Apologize for…actually, apologizing doesn't seem to work. What do I do, find something I can't do that they can and…keep letting them do it? I mean, I'm terrible at stealth and Nichiren's got that covered.

What if they're out of commission? What if they're out and the only person that can act is me?

…one of these days I need to start trusting them. They are kids, but they're also training to be soldiers, sickening as that might be.

So, rules for dealing with Hisako. Number 1, don't offer to teach her, try to shy away from what I can do and…find something she can do already? Maybe that'll work? I mean, she already knows she can do it, so what purpose would reminding her of that serve?

"I mean; you have way better throwing than I do!"

"Yeah, I know, Daisuke. That doesn't help."

Well…okay, maybe I'm overthinking this…oh…what did helping Nichiren teach me? I word best when I don't have to say much. Maybe that logic will work when I'm dealing with Hisako.

Maybe.

I probably wouldn't have stepped on her 'I don't like two sensei's' point if I was listening a little bit closer.

"Everyone brought water, right?" Kakashi called to the group.

Everyone gave their assent. Even I brought water…I might need a few hitpoints sometime down the road if I stub my toe on a rock.

We walked…and we walked…Hisako and Nichiren exchanged light banter through the trip. I kept quiet, never tiring. Nichiren and Hisako, by the time the sun set behind the horizon, were exhausted, even I could tell.

Off in the distance, I could make out the silhouette of a small town. This must our first stop.

The entrance had an arch built over it, with kanji written along the top spelling 'Takato Town'. We walked through it and into town square, and I noticed that the town was sparsely populated; only a few people had to move out of the way of the wagon as it passed through the town square. It made a right and we walked to a warehouse.

"Alright," Mr. Arai called to us, jumping down from the wagon. He looked at Kakashi-sensei "So, we got security from here. We'll see you tomorrow morning, Kakashi-san."

"We'll meet you here at six," Kakashi nodded with an impassive look in his eye. "Have a good evening."

"You as well," Mr. Arai bowed.

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail_

 _Completed: Guard the Wagon on its way to the first stop._

 _Speak with Kakashi-sensei._

We all bowed back and headed off.

"So what now, Sensei?" Nichiren asked.

"Now we go get something to eat," Kakashi said, leading us to a ramen-stand. "Then we go check into a motel and wait."

"Wait for what?" I asked with a frown.

"Things," Kakashi eye-smiled. "We wait for things."

Oh. Right. We'll be investigating them later. At least I think that's what he's getting at. That's the only possible thing he's going to be getting at, so…yeah.

I shrugged in response.

We all paid for our own bowls. The miso-ramen was good, but not as good as Ichiraku's. That may have been my bias talking.

"So, how's everyone's first trip out of Konoha?" Kakashi asked. "Everything you hoped it would be?"

"I don't know yet," Nichiren replied, staring intently at the noodles in the chopsticks. "We haven't found anything interesting."

"Can't really say until we've found some interesting stuff," Hisako replied, folding her arms and resting her chin on them. "That's the deciding factor, right?"

"The trips been boring so far," I chimed in. "Too much walking, not enough Shunshin."

Sensei eye-smiled. "Sometimes it's really best to slow down and take in the sights."

"I saw trees," I replied to that. "I saw the dirt road, I saw rocks, hills…bunch of boring stuff."

Kakashi-sensei sighed and hung his head. "Daisuke…I would've thought you'd enjoy the peaceful scenery more."

"I probably would," I replied with a frown. "But I'm waiting for something to explode."

"What's going to explode?" Hisako asked with a tinge of panic.

"Nothing," I sighed. "It's an expression."

"Let's," Kakashi rose a finger to interject. "Go get a room and then we can talk, alright?"

I stood up and slid my hands into my pockets.

"Alright," Nichiren said, slurping down the broth and setting the bowl down.

Hisako slurped down the rest of her noodles. "Fine by me."

Kakashi lead us to a motel and checked out a small room for each of us. Then he lead us to _his_ room, first room on the right. The inside was your typical motel room, bed, closet, shower. The only thing it was missing was the TV, but that was understandable.

Kakashi looked out the window briefly to ensure we weren't being spied on. "Shut the door behind you."

We did so. Hisako took a seat on the bed, Nichiren started leaning against the wall and I remained standing straight.

"Here's the plan," Kakashi got straight to business. "We'll rest here for a couple of hours. At eleven o'clock, we'll head to the warehouse and look through their shipping manifests. If we can't find anything, we might find ourselves looking through the crates themselves."

"How long would that take?" Nichiren asked, taking off his glasses and cleaning them with his shirt.

"If we're lucky, getting the manifests should only take about half an hour," Kakashi replied easily. "We can decide how we proceed from there."

I'm very lucky.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/7._

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

We could all sneak our way in through the windows. This is a small town, mostly populated by civilians, so if we're quiet we can avoid getting spotted really easily. The only problem will be if they have rogue shinobi involved. Speaking of which…

I rose my hand.

"Yes, Daisuke?" Kakashi asked, pointing at me.

"What do we do about rogue Shinobi?" I asked.

"You will come get me if possible," Kakashi replied immediately. "Then you are to let me handle them. Is that clear?"

"Yes Sensei," We chorused.

"Good," Kakashi nodded. "We'll be going across the roof-tops. Try to be quiet."

I only have 22 sneak. "What do we do if we're terrible at sneaking?"

"We'll have to improvise," Kakashi replied. "I'm sure you can invent a jutsu to help you out, in any case."

Probably.

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

You know, that violated my rule in regards to Hisako; don't bring up what I can do. And…yeah, that was a flash of irritation. At me, or Kakashi? Maybe a little of both.

I think I'm getting the hang of this!

Actually, come to think of it, there might be a jutsu I can make...one that muffles my footsteps, in any case. Probably should wait until I'm out of eye-sight of Hisako and Nichiren, though. Anyway.

"Any other questions?" Kakashi asked.

"Where would we find the shipping manifest?" Hisako asked.

"There's probably an office in the warehouse," Kakashi replied. "They'll keep all their transactions there."

"Even their illegal transactions?" I asked. That's a little odd, why on Earth would anyone make a record of their illegal dealings…well actually…in my previous life, I barely remember talking with a retired military detective who was involved in a case where they tracked stolen bombs. How they found them? Apparently, when someone does something wrong, that person _needs_ to tell someone else. One of their feelers heard something and arrests were made.

Interesting and even if they haven't told anyone, they still might have left some evidence around.

"You'd be surprised what people are dumb enough to leave lying around," Kakashi replied. "But just to be clear; look for evidence in the warehouse tonight, be as sneaky as possible and don't engage rogue ninja. Understood?"

We all gave our assent.

"Good," Kakashi nodded. "Now go get some rest…we've got a late night tonight."

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail_

 _Completed: Speak with Kakashi-sensei._

 _Go with your team to investigate the warehouse at 11pm._

* * *

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 57/25._

 _+150 EXP._

2930 more experience until level 11. At that point, I planned bring Ninjutsu up to 60 and then work on Genjutsu to bring them up in time for _One-Handed Jutsu_ at level 16. Also work on Melee Weapons so I can get Ninja at 20.

The jutsu I just invented silences my footsteps by coating my feet with a thin layer of chakra that absorbs a lot of the kinetic energy, thus resulting in quieter footsteps. And protection from fall damage, like I'm wearing Cave Johnson's foot-based suit of armor.

…I haven't thought about _Portal_ in so long…

You know, with everything Chakra's capable of, I wonder if I can make something like Portals. I know that the Fourth, known as the Yellow Flash, made teleportation possible through specially prepared Kunai, but actually opening a door for others to travel through? That might be fun to experiment with, simply so I can start thinking with Portals.

Maybe once I get _Almost Perfect_ , I can start talking like Cave Johnson, make Portal tech and basically be a comedic Orochimaru. I mean, I'd have to assassinate my moral compass and anything resembling common sense, but it might be doable.

…not that I'm going too, but it's funny to think about.

 _Hi, I'm Shimoda Daisuke and here, we're going to talk about our latest invention; The Happiness Beam! This laser harnesses the latent power of the users own joy to project a beam that's trillions of degrees Fahrenheit! With the Happiness Beam, your enemies will be powerless to give you a bad time and we guarantee that the smoking ashes of your opponents will give you more joy, thus giving the Happiness Beam more to work with. It's the gift that just keeps on giving._

I just made myself laugh.

Anyway, it was almost 11 o'clock and I want thinking about more jutsu I could invent. Since I had Lightning Release available, I had this crazy idea. Since the brain and nervous system run off of electrical signals, maybe I can use chakra to boost their effectiveness and react faster? I might even be able to strengthen the chemical bonds of my cells, since that's all electricity. At least I think.

 _Medicine Check Failure: 30/70._

Right, okay so maybe not strengthen cellular bonds, but the rest should be perfectly within the boundaries of Chakra's capabilities. But I'll work on that later, when I'm at a training field incase lightning goes everywhere and starts damaging things.

At 11 o'clock I left my apartment and looked to my left and saw that Nichiren and Hisako were also awake.

"You guys have a nice nap?" I asked.

Nichiren yawned. "Wasn't long enough."

Hisako turned her head from side to side, popping her neck with each rotation. "You said it. But whatever, we got a job to do."

"Is everyone ready?" Kakashi emerged from his room.

"Hai Sensei," I replied.

"I think so," Nichiren frowned, pushing his glasses up. You know, someone needs to adjust the ear-pieces so they fit better on his head. I wonder if I can do that, actually. Or, no. I could get him some nose-pads and put them on.

…maybe I should ask him before I mess with his glasses, though.

"Born ready," Hisako nodded with a serious look on her face.

"Then let's go," Kakashi said, beckoning us to enter his room. We did, and shut the door behind us. Kakashi-sensei opened the window and one by one, each of us jumped out into the cool night air, landing on the roof of the building across the street.

Huh. I wasn't sure Hisako and Nichiren could make the jump. Well, there we go. They're coming along nicely.

We ran across the rooftops, jumping and tumbling as needed. We reached the warehouse in only a few minutes.

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail._

 _Completed: Go with your team to investigate the warehouse at 11pm._

 _Search for clues._

 _Optional: Avoid being caught._

"Security appears to be light," Kakashi-sensei said, looking in at the windows.

Down below, I could see several guards holding lanterns and making rounds. The office, from what I could see, was behind a door that said 'Management' and had several glass windows letting people in the warehouse know where their boss was. Naturally, that would be where we need to start looking.

"We could probably just get there by walking on the ceiling," I offered. "Those guys don't look like they'd be looking up."

"Good call," Kakashi nodded.

Then he carefully pried the window open and we slid in, sticking to the ceiling on our hands and feet.

 _Sneak Check Failure: 22/25._

SON OF A-

 _Perception Check Success: 8/3._

"Daisuke!" Kakashi whispered sharply. "Stay out of the light!"

I had crawled right into a beam of moonlight.

"Sorry," I whispered apologetically, crawling back into the shadows and staying there.

We maneuvered over to the office, neatly avoiding the entirety of the guards. We were stuck to the wall like a gaggle of oversized spiders, hanging over the door and watching for guards.

"Nichiren get us inside," Kakashi ordered quietly. "We'll watch for guards."

"Yes Sensei," Nichiren said, dropping quietly to the floor and taking out a pair of lock picks.

We watched the guards while Nichiren worked. There were four in total. Two of them stopped their rounds to talk quietly on the other side of the wall. Another was mostly just looking at the boxes, moving at a snail's pace, looking bored. The last one was leaning back in his chair, snoozing with his lantern to the side.

"I don't think there's anything here," Hisako whispered, sounding unhappy.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"The guards are so lazy," Hisako replied with a frown. "They don't look like guys that are guarding a high-priority secret."

She had a good point. If they knew something that could get everyone in serious trouble was here, they'd be tense and more active.

"We're in," Nichiren said.

"Good work Nichiren," Kakashi said, holding the door closed as we each dropped to the floor. "Wait just a second."

Kakashi made several hand seals and he…squirted the door hinges with water from his finger. Wait, no. Not water. _Oil_. That's genius! Don't want a squeaky door giving us away!

"Let's go," Kakashi said, slowly opening the door and ushering us inside.

The office was just a desk long enough to fit completely underneath the window, with several chairs lounging around the floor on wheels. There were filing cabinets, each with two drawers, underneath the desk and against the opposite wall. Each of the drawers required a key too open.

Because things couldn't be _too_ easy, could they. Well, maybe one was left unlocked.

I pulled on one of the drawers and was very surprised when it opened with no resistance whatsoever.

I guess they forgot to lock this one.

Luck 10 to the rescue!

I checked the files. This one was shipping and financial reports from three years ago to the start of last year. Nothing I really noticed as interesting. "The stuff in this one is old…at least one year. I'm not seeing anything here."

"Don't take too much time," Kakashi replied. "Hisako, check that cabinet. Nichiren, see if you can't open the safe over there."

"It's locked," Hisako whispered back.

"Can you pick it?" Kakashi asked in response.

"Yes Sensei," Hisako replied, taking out a pair of lock-picks herself.

I had some on me. But my skill with picks wasn't…great. So, I kept at this folder. From what I could see, all of these were on the up and up. Nothing involving organs or other black-market items like excessive or specialized weapons. Everything had been notarized by Shinobi from Konoha…this company had been hiring Shinobi for a long time.

There was only one key lock on the cabinet, so the second and final drawer was obviously unlocked. With due diligence, I checked that one as well. This one went even farther back, with dealings that were verging on hitting their disposal dates. Nothing illegal of interest. No busts, no horrible track records, no employees fired. Nothing.

I shut the drawer with a huff. "This one's clean. Nothing interesting."

"Thank you Daisuke," Kakashi replied, not even looking up from the reports he was inspecting. "Get to work on one of the others."

There were two other cabinets and I picked one. This one was locked. I got to work with my picks and tried to carefully move the tumblers inside and- _snap._

I broke my pick. With a growing sense of irritating, I carefully pulled the broken pick out and saw that a part of it had been left in the lock. I pulled that out as well and grabbed my spare pick.

 _Snap._

 _Snap._

 _Snap._

I growled softly, removing the pick and broken part out for the fourth time. Hisako trying to hold back a soft laugh and Kakashi looked at me oddly.

"You need some help, Daisuke?" Kakashi asked with an odd inflection in his voice.

"No I think I have it, Sensei," I replied, digging out another pick. Stupid 23 Pick Lock. I managed to knock all the tumblers into their correct place and finally opened the lock. I snarled out, "Finally."

The drawer actually contained records from this year. Well, the beginning of this year. Shipments actually went up as the Chunin exams were held this year and dropped off too normal again.

Interesting.

I wonder if Kakashi's going to ask us to take the Chunin exams when they come around…

Nothing interesting.

"I don't think there's anything here," Hisako said, closing the second drawer.

"Same," I replied, closing the first and opening the second.

"Most likely anything illegal is locked in the safe or some hidden compartment," Kakashi sighed, closing his bottom drawer. "Nichiren, how's the safe?"

"One more second," Nichiren said, tongue stuck out the side of his mouth as he fiddled with the picks. "It's open."

He's good at that. I'm surprised that the safe doesn't use a dial lock, but…eh. I guess we're lucky.

Inside, there was a lot of Ryo. Kakashi-sensei grabbed it and set it aside. No one grabbed it, as this shipping company was a fairly loyal customer to Konoha, and even I knew better than to aggravate our customers unnecessarily. Inside were some precious metals, some keys that hung from the inside of the door, but no documents of any kind.

Kakashi cupped his chin. "Can anyone tell me what's wrong with this picture?"

 _Perception Check Success: 8/4._

"The safe has a false bottom," Hisako replied, pointing to the safe.

She was right. The bottom panel didn't even hug the walls of the safe correctly. It wasn't a problem when it was full of Ryo and everyone inside focused on that, but now it was painfully obvious.

"That's right Hisako," Kakashi eye-smiled, removing the false bottom, revealing a small stack of documents. "Very good."

After a few moments of reading the contents, Kakashi actually revealed his Sharingan-eye. Photo-graphic memory would be pretty useful in this case, so it makes sense. Mundane Utility, thy name is Hatake Kakashi. "Ah, it appears the manager of this warehouse feels he's underpaid. He's collected several items of potential black-mail on his employers."

"Like what?" I asked with interest.

"Here take a look," Kakashi passed the first sheet to me. "Be sure to share."

 _They can spend all this money moving bits of sharp metal but can't even pay their loyal employees?_ There was an angry-looking not written in the margins. The actual contents of the sheet detailed a series of swords and specialized kunai that were clearly illegal to ship, heading toward _Earth_ country for some unspeakable reason. _They'll regret this unforgivable offense._

Man, this guy felt really strongly about being cut out. I passed the sheet to Hisako, who was closest to me.

"Here we go," Kakashi said grimly. "Apparently a special-order box was moved through this warehouse yesterday. It just showed up on a wagon then left on a wagon with no markings. It was sent too…Takayama. That's the other stop we need to make before we transfer the wagon to Kusa."

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail_

 _Completed: Search for Clues._

 _Meet Arai at the Warehouse at 6am._

"So we just need to get over there and find the package?" Hisako frowned.

"That's what it's sounding like," Kakashi nodded, carefully putting everything back where he found it.

"So…Daisuke," Nichiren started. "Are you getting anything?"

"Nichiren," Hisako growled.

"I think we're done here," I groused, folding my arms. "But it's not like I get every detail of a mission, okay?"

"Right, sorry," Nichiren said. "I…just don't want anyone to almost die again."

"…yeah that makes sense," I sighed. "Can we talk about this back at the apartment?"

"That would be best," Kakashi said, looking carefully up at the window from his crouch. "Okay…go. Back the way we came, the doors clear."

We moved fast, leaving the office and heading back the way we came. I made sure to avoid any rogue beams of light and we made it back to our apartment.

I was the last one inside, so I shut the window. "It's not like I get a vision that tells me all of the important bits. At most I just get a sentence whenever I start a mission or more rarely, when I need to do something important."

"A sentence," Nichiren repeated with a blink. "You get a sentence."

"Yup," I nodded.

"What kind of sentence?" He asked.

"Well, when I started this mission, I got the sentence ' _The Organ Trail_ ' and a sentence that told me to meet you guys at 6am," I replied with a shrug. "Not that helpful."

"The Organ Trail," Hisako repeated with a raised eyebrow. "What's that, a name?"

"…yeah kinda," I replied quietly.

"Are all our missions named like that?" Nichiren asked.

"Not _really,_ " I said. They looked at me expectantly and I continued. "Most of our missions are called _D-Rank: Pulling Weeds_ or something similar."

"So when they have a unique name," Kakashi began, his lone eye puzzling out what I just told him. "That's when you know something's going to go wrong?"

"Basically," I nodded. "I know it's bizarre."

"What was the house incidents name?" Hisako asked with a tilted head.

"Upon a Midnight Darkly," I answered.

"That's ominous," Kakashi said.

"It was in the middle of the day," Nichiren argued, scrunching his eyes together. "What, was your bloodline trying to scare you off?"

"Maybe," Was my response. "I don't know. We handled it, though."

" _You_ handled it," Hisako groused.

"It was mostly Sensei," I shot back, feeling just a little defensive.

"Let's not do this now," Kakashi interrupted. "We handled it, we got paid, it's in the past. Got it?"

"Yes Sensei," We said at the same time.

"But Daisuke, if I may ask," Kakashi began. "About something the Hokage said…"

After a few seconds, I realized he was waiting on me. Odd. "Go ahead."

"The Hokage said they figured that you get better in bursts as opposed to gradually," Kakashi continued. "Do these named missions have anything to do with that?"

"All my missions do," I said with a shrug. "It's like they feed into this bubble of experience and when it's full, I get all of the benefits at that time in a spike. It fills up from missions of all kinds as well as important events."

"Important events," Hisako repeated. "Like graduating from the academy?"

"Yup," I nodded.

"Oh," She blinked. She looked down and smacked her lips together. "Well. That makes sense, then."

"How much does training help fill this bubble?" Kakashi asked.

"It doesn't," I replied.

"Training doesn't help," Kakashi repeated, his eye doing that boggling thing again.

"Not even a little bit," I said with a frown. "I wasted so much time in the academy."

"But completing missions does," Kakashi said.

"Yup," I nodded.

"Do these power spikes give you power depending on what you were doing?" Kakashi asked.

"No, I actually get to choose what gets better," I shrugged. "I could invent ten Ninjutsu, but it's my survival skills that get better, for example."

The room was quiet, each of them looking at me with various expressions of confusion and befuddlement on their faces.

"I said it was weird," I said defensively.

"You did," Nichiren nodded. "And you were right."

"Is that why you have perfect chakra control?" Kakashi asked.

"I rose it to perfect before I left the academy," I replied. Then I frowned as I realized something. "I wasn't lying about getting the tree-walking jutsu on my first day of the academy, in case you were wondering. My control was already good enough."

"No, I believed you," Kakashi replied. "Is your Taijutsu 'perfect' as well?"

I shook my head. "No, but I could make it that way in one more power spike. I just have plans that need me to raise my other skills, first."

"Perfect Taijutsu in one more power spike," Kakashi said, pulling out his book. "That's…something."

I wonder if he noticed my eye twitching at the sight of that book.

"Do you keep track of this at all?" Nichiren asked.

"Yeah in my black book," I answered, pulling out said book. "I still don't feel comfortable sharing all of its contents with you guys though. Sorry."

"That's okay," Hisako said, sounding a little…like tearing up. "I…"

"So Daisuke…I think everyone wants to know," Kakashi interrupted. "I think everyone wants to know."

"My social skills?" I asked with resignation.

"It's not that big of a deal," Nichiren rushed.

"Seriously, we're kind of used to it," Hisako sniffed.

"I just wanted to know if they'll get better," Kakashi shrugged. "You said training doesn't help you, does that include your social skills?"

"Afraid so," I nodded. "My skills and abilities are completely static except for the power spikes. But I do have a plan for my social skills. It's just going to take a while."

"You don't really need to do that," Hisako frowned.

" _Yes I do_ ," I emphatically disagreed with her. "I absolutely need to do that."

"I'm assuming that we'll know," Kakashi nodded.

"If you miss it, I'll wonder if your brains leaked out of your ears," I nodded.

Kakashi blinked. "Alright. Get some rest everyone, we've got six and a half hours to sleep before we need to meet our Client…by the way, do you know if Arai is involved in any of this?"

"I've got no idea," I shrugged. "Sorry."

"Alright then," Kakashi nodded. "Good night, everyone."

I went to my room and…well, I didn't need to go to sleep. I stayed up. Thinking.

Was telling them all of that the wisest decision? It might have been. I mean, the Hokage's more or less cracked my bloodline and I haven't been dragged off to T&I like so many fanfics said would happen. He even called me a good person which I don't know how true that is.

…wait, that entire convo was like driving a lawn mower over my rule with dealing with Hisako.

 _Stupid ME_.

What was I thinking? Was I even thinking? I guess not! I can't afford to do that no thinking thing! It could get people killed! It could get _me_ killed!

Great, now I've pissed her off again.

Wait…were Kakashi and Hisako were talking in the room next to mine.

I leaned my ear against the wall and…

 _Perception Check Success: 8/7._

"…how do I even keep up with that?" Hisako asked, sounding distressed. "How do I keep up with someone who could have perfect Taijutsu in less than a week from now?"

"Well…" Kakashi started, seeming unsure of something. "You can't. I'm sorry, I know it hurts, but it's the simple truth."

"Thanks Sensei," Hisako groused.

"I'm afraid that's just what it is," Kakashi replied. "It would've been the same if you were in a team with a Hyuuga or an Uchiha."

"Did you see what he did to the rookie of the year? Who was a Hyuuga?" Hisako asked desperately. "It wouldn't be like that."

"It might be less than it is," Kakashi allowed. "But you still would be on a team with a member who more or less gets to cheat at a certain area of skill."

Ain't that the truth, Sharingan Kakashi.

"Then what do I do?" Hisako asked. "I feel utterly useless besides him."

"You're not useless," Kakashi admonished. "You and Nichiren displayed great aptitude at picking those locks and didn't break a single pick. Daisuke broke _four_."

"…that's true," Hisako sniffed.

"You've got a more consistent skill base over Daisuke's bizarre gaps…which are making more and more sense the more I think about it," Kakashi replied. "You also were the only one who saw through the Genjutsu back at the bell test."

"But he's the only one who broke free of the house," Hisako argued.

"Okay bad example," Kakashi replied. "But Hisako-chan, the only thing I can really say is that you should pursue your strengths. You're already pretty good at Taijutsu, you can identify Genjutsu and you've got excellent chakra control. You managed to get water-walking in a _day_. That's impressive."

"But Daisuke-"

"Stop worrying about Daisuke," Kakashi interrupted. "You can't do a thing about how powerful Daisuke is, so don't worry about it. Worry about how you are going to become stronger. Alright, Hisako-chan?"

"Yes Kakashi-sensei," Hisako replied. After a few seconds, she continued. "…do you…do you think I'd have talent in Genjutsu?"

"Actually yes," Kakashi sounded surprised. "I think we can explore that after the mission."

"Thank you Sensei," Hisako-sniffed.

"Also, I think maybe I'd better train you more in bukijutsu," Kakashi said. "You seem to train a lot more with a pair of kunai in your hand than regular Taijutsu."

"It's my specialty," Hisako admitted. "It feels better than normal Taijutsu for me."

Kakashi hummed. "Alright, I'll keep that in mind. Goodnight, Hisako-chan."

"Goodnight Kakashi-sensei," Hisako said.

I heard the door close and Kakashi walk out.

I jumped on my bed with a huff.

A Bukijutsu/Genjutsu hybrid, huh? That's an interesting idea. Then you add the poisons she wants to coat her weapons in and…we've got a very interesting shinobi on our hands. Then we have Nichiren, who wants to be a medic-nin and…we have her poison people and he works on healing them.

But who would be crazy enough to volunteer? Someone who injuries don't mean much to, is sturdy enough to shrug off things like poisons or at very least doesn't care if he loses a limb to keep it from spreading and is possibly smart enough to help them both understand what they're doing.

Oh no.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: First arc of the Organ Trail arc. A shame I can't put the full title of these chapters in the FF net version, it doesn't allow for the longer titles - which contain QUEST TITLE : chapter name. It's a shame, because the one after this, I thought I did something rather clever with it.  
_

 _Anyway, hope you enjoyed._


	19. Lost and Found

_T_ _he Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail_

 _Completed: Meet Arai at the Warehouse at 6am._

 _Guard the wagon on its way to the second stop._

The sun hadn't quite risen over the horizon yet, which provided a cool atmosphere for us to be on our way. Apparently, Takayama was another day's travel, and we should make it there after sundown. After that, it'll be two more days until we reached the border and Kusa will get their shipment.

The trick would be to find the package they sent off to Takayama and crack it open to see what they're smuggling. My bets on a refrigerator with preserved organs, using water-chakra in a seal network to keep everything cold.

But who'd buy organs in a Ninja world?

Maybe they're organs connected to a Kekkei Genkai? Maybe there's a bloodline out there that makes a liver super-powerful that allows total immunity to poisons? Or at very least alcohol. Super-powerful lungs that never run out of air? Let's you have super breath. Oooh, an iron belly that lets you digest metal!

…wait, that was an actual thing in my old world. Huh.

I'm just trying to think of something that doesn't involve eyes because _everything in Naruto_ is about eyes. There's the Sharingan, the Byakugan, the Rinnegan, the Portalgan… you know what I mean. Maybe there's bat ears! Let's you have super-hearing to contrast the Byakugan.

But most likely, if I were honest with myself, it had something to do with the Byakugan because since the Sharingan is mostly out of reach of the other villages, everyone's got their sights set on stealing the all-seeing eyes from Konoha.

Assuming that word of what _I_ can do hasn't spread to everyone else, that is. I know that sounds horrifically arrogant, but I've hit the super-power lottery. What with, being able recover completely with a goodnights sleep, I'd become a walking organ factory while they figured out how to exploit the various perks and jutsu I've collected.

Oh, _now_ I'm paranoid. That'd be worse than helping Hisako and Nichiren with their poison-healing loop. I already had one dangerous quest where I was the target, do _all_ of these horrific quests have to have me as a target?

I really hope not. That would be horribly stressful and terrible quest-writing besides. This is a whole world, it can't all be obsessed about me!

"Whoa, whoa," Arai said, pulling the horses to a stop.

"Is something wrong?" Kakashi asked.

"Nature's calling," Arai said, standing up and hopping off of the wagon. "Mind the horses for me?"

"Might be a good time to stop for lunch, actually," Kakashi replied. "I'll tie them up for you."

"Thank you, Shinobi-san," Arai said with a bow before he charged into the forest.

"So, do any of you have food left?" Kakashi asked us.

"I'm set," Nichiren nodded.

"I've got enough," Hisako replied with a frown.

"Foods optional," I answered.

Kakashi was quiet for a second, looking at me with exasperation. "But do you have any on you?"

"Of course," I replied. "I might want a snack later."

"There we go," Kakashi eye-smiled. "You mind eating something when Arai gets back so you at least look somewhat normal?"

"Has he said something while I wasn't paying attention?" I asked with a frown.

"No," Kakashi answered. "Just it's better to act normal until circumstances prod us otherwise. Don't want someone who goes to other nations regularly to have strange stories to tell, huh?"

That…made sense. Arai having strange stories to tell about me would clue in the other nations, which would be fairly hazardous to my health. So I sat my rear end down and grabbed out some rations from my storage scrolls.

I remember from my past life that it was usually good to finish your meal about the same time everyone else does. So I slowed it down to keep up appearances. I think it's to form commonality? It's easier to do something if everyone around you is doing it? That sounded right.

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

Yay!

I managed to hold off on my eating, finished just after Hisako.

But Mr. Arai had yet to come back.

I didn't like it.

"Kakashi-sensei?" I began. "What are the odds of bandits operating within Konoha's borders?"

"…better than I'd like," Kakashi answered slowly. "But not all that high. Why, are you getting something?"

"No…" I replied. "But I don't think it takes that long for someone to go to the bathroom."

"Maybe he had to go number 2?" Nichiren piped up.

"It's possible," Kakashi stated. "I'll go see if I can find him. You three stay here and guard the wagon."

Translation: Stay here and don't endanger yourselves. That's fine for Nichiren and Hisako but I need EXP. Like…now. I'm getting restless. The last mission, I had earned almost a thousand EXP within the first hour. This one, almost a day and a half with no EXP to be found.

Kakashi shunshin'd off and that left us alone.

Asking about a persons loved ones might be good.

"So…Nichiren," I started. "How's your parents?"

"They're okay," Nichiren shrugged. "Stores got some more employees, so they don't need me to work anymore."

"Cool," I nodded. "Cool."

Everything was quiet for a few minutes.

"So Daisuke," Hisako asked. "If you don't train, what do you do in your spare time?"

"I read books," I shrugged. "I like to think about…things."

"What kind of books do you like?" Hisako asked, sitting by the wagon and leaning against it.

"Fiction. Lots of fiction," I nodded. "I still need to read 'The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi', that's been sitting by my bed for weeks now."

"Wasn't that written by Jiraiya-sannin?" Hisako asked with a frown. "The same guy who rights sensei's pervy-books?"

"Yeah," I replied with a shrug. "I don't have any interest in erotica, though."

"Really," Hisako said. "Good on you, I guess."

"Thanks?" I said.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/5._

"Hit the deck!" I shouted, ducking under the trio of shuriken that embedded themselves into the wagon around me. The horses tied bucked and whinnied in fright.

"Oh, man!" The voice was unfamiliar. "Look at the three little Genin!"

I turned and looked, seeing a trio of bandits. Each of them wore blank headbands, which identified them as homeless nin. They were dressed in scraps of armor; the trappings of poverty, which meant they weren't very good at their job by Village standards and had to scrape to get by.

In other words: Bandits.

I stood up and took a stance. Hisako drew her kunai. Nichiren grabbed a smoke pellet from his belt.

The first one, a skinny and short individual with a large grin on his face. His hair was only a small fuzz on the top of his head, clearly young. I'd put about late-teens or early twenties.

"That's adorable," The second one, a big man with a straw-hat and wraps on his hands like gloves, said. He had that thick jaw that lent itself to the image of an idiot. "They think they have a chance."

"Just don't damage the wagon," The third, who was in the middle in both height and weight, wearing a blindfold with twin-blood stains. Did he lose those recently? "And be fast."

"Where's our sensei?" Hisako snarled, bringing her kunai up in a defensive position.

"I don't know," The small one said, his smile getting larger. "Don't care. Not your problem right now."

"I'll give you guys one chance," I said with a raised eyebrow. "You guys tell us where you hid the driver and you can leave. You stay alive, we get to finish our mission, everyone wins."

The large one held his gut in condescending laughter.

"Pfffft!" The small one ended up laughing too. "Whatever. How about we just kill you and take your stuff! That way we win and _you lose_."

…alright.

The small one was obviously the speedster of the group and going to be the most troublesome. I sent chakra-threads that wrapped around his throat before he even knew what was happening, and brought his face to my waiting fist.

His brains covered the dirt path in front of us. In my previous life, I might've been repulsed that I didn't do more to de-escalate the situation, but these guys were willing to kill twelve-year-old's and thus they need to die.

Even if those twelve-year-olds were Genin and included a minor eldritch abomination.

 _+50 EXP_.

3030 more to go.

"So, where's the driver?" I asked with a blink.

"KILL YOU!" The big guy roared, charging right at me, arms extended.

I was just going to wait for him to come to me, duck and take out both of his legs. I didn't think a blind man would be able to direct us to where Mr. Arai was being held, so, I wanted to keep the big guy alive. I wouldn't have minded letting the blind man live regardless, since he seemed to be the brains of this caper and we'd need info.

Complications arose when a shuriken found itself buried in the large one's throat, right in esophagus. It didn't look like it went in all the way-

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

 _Medicine Check Success: 30/30._

-and it looked like the shuriken missed both arteries. So, I guess he's going to survive that injury.

Hisako leaped forward and Nichiren dropped a smoke bomb. I slid through the smoke in a panic, desperately wanting to avoid either of my teammates getting hurt. I found the large one and hit him with several punches, leaving me relatively sure that I hit him in the kidney as he fell to the ground…I hope Hisako didn't actually kill him, but I couldn't see through the smoke.

Where's the blind one?

The smoke actually started to clear, and the blind one was going through a series of seals nopenopenopenope.

More chakra-strings came from my fingers and I separated his hands, even as I rushed toward him. I tackled the blind man to the ground, I'll feel horrible about it later, and put him in grapple-hold designed to keep his him down and his hands pinned against his back.

The smoke cleared, and there was Hisako, leaning against the still corpse of the big man, trembling and with a mix of triumphant smile and panicked expression on her face. Nichiren…where was Nichiren?

With a great shout, Nichiren burst from under the ground, holding shuriken and ready to assist in the battle.

That answers my question.

The blind man beneath me was struggling, buckling and trying to get free.

 _Fuinjutsu Success: 52/45._

 _+150 EXP._

2880 more to go.

But I applied a seal to his head, blocking his consciousness from the rest of his body, ensuring that I gave it an 'off switch' so I could release it when I needed too. I got off of him and used chakra strings to drag him to the rest of the team.

I looked at Hisako. "Good work, but how are we supposed to find the driver with a blind man?"

Hisako's eyes went wide. Her right eye started to twitch. "I…don't know! He was going to kill us, I had to do something!"

"You mean _try_ to kill us," I replied. "Whatever. We'll just have to figure something out."

She growled and huffed, sliding her kunai into their holsters and folded her arms.

"Not that I'm not impressed," I continued, taking my captive and sealing him against the wagon for extra security. "Because I am. Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"I trained to do it," She frowned and glared at me. "Like a normal person."

"No, I meant why you didn't freeze up in a panic," I replied with a frown. "That usually happens the first time someone's thrown into a combat situation, right?"

"Thanks Daisuke," Hisako's eye was twitching faster. "Your confidence in us is staggering."

"He's got a point," Nichiren said. "I kind of panicked while I was tunneling."

"Shut up Nichiren," Hisako growled. "You're not helping."

"Why are you so hostile?" Nichiren frowned.

"Why are we fighting when there's probably more enemies around?" I asked them both. "If there's more where these idiots came from, we need to start fortifying until sensei gets back."

"I actually am back," Kakashi-sensei appeared from the trees with a shaking and terrified Arai on his back. He looked at the carnage and was careful not to step in the exposed gray-matter. I couldn't tell if Arai was scared because he got kidnapped during his bathroom break or because he was shunshin'd by Kakashi back to the wagon. "So, it appears our kidnappers circumvented me and attempted to sack the wagon. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine Sensei," Hisako replied curtly.

"No one got hurt," Nichiren replied.

I nodded in agreement with Nichiren. "I managed to catch one. He's blind, so I assumed he's the brains of the operation, or they wouldn't have brought him along."

Kakashi let Arai down who was still trembling and hyperventilating. "Are you alright, Arai-san?"

"Yes, yes," Arai took a deep breath. "Thank you Hatake-san. I thought I was going to die."

"Mah, mah," Kakashi eye-smiled, waving it off. "It was really nothing. We're just doing our job."

"Thank you for doing your job so well," Mr. Arai bowed low. "You have my eternal gratitude."

"…well, in _that_ case," Kakashi said. "You wouldn't by chance know if there's any illegal contraband you would be picking up at our next stop, would you?"

"No, Hatake-san," Mr. Arai replied. "Truth be told, inspecting the cargo isn't my job. We have loaders who are responsible for making sure everything is ready for transport at their designated time. I carry documents signed by them in case anything goes wrong."

"I see," Kakashi replied impassively. "We will need to take some time to interrogate our prisoner before we continue on."

"Take all the time you need," Arai nodded. "I'll be on the wagon when we're ready to go."

"Thank you," Kakashi nodded.

Arai got back on the wagon and put little cotton-balls in his ears, presumably because he didn't want to hear what was going to happen next. How much experience did he have with dealing with Shinobi?

Kakashi turned to me and looked at the prisoner. "…Daisuke…where did you learn the seal you bound him with?"

"Oh," I blinked. "I came up with it…about thirty seconds before you got back."

"…you can invent seals on the fly," I had never heard Kakashi-sensei sound so exhausted as he did right there.

"Yup," I nodded. "I'm hoping to figure out the seals the fourth used one day… the _Flying Thunder-God?_ Then I want to improve them so I don't need kunai. Pretty sure it's possible, I just need…uh…"

Kakashi looked at me, being very still as he processed what I just told him.

"I'm done!" Hisako shouted, throwing her hands up in the air and walking further down the path. "I don't care what happens next, because _I am done._ "

"Hisako," Nichiren said, extending his hand out with a worried expression on his face.

"Hisako?" Kakashi called out.

She whirled on her heels to face our Sensei. "Yes, Sensei?"

"Don't go too far," Kakashi ordered with a sigh. "And be ready to get in formation when we're done."

"Yes sensei," Hisako replied concisely before she started walking forward along the path.

"Daisuke…just how is your bloodline able to let you do all of this?" Kakashi asked.

"Mostly?" I started with a frown. Because Hisako was upset again. "I'm just really, really smart."

"That's it?" Kakashi said, with a somewhat desperate laugh. "You're really smart."

"Well yeah," I answered. "Because I have perfect chakra control, so I know exactly how it behaves. I have an exact understanding of how each hand-seal modifies chakra as I channel it through my body and how hand signs instruct the chakra how to the function when deployed into a jutsu. Seals are very similar; in that I know what pathways chakra takes to make certain effects. I'm smart enough to understand all this data, what it means, and how to apply it."

Kakashi's lone eye blinked several times before speaking. "I hope your research team is having more luck than I am of understanding what you can do."

"Sorry sensei," I replied with a what I _hope_ was a sympathetic look. "You want me to wake him up?"

Kakashi took a breath. "Yes. We need to find out what he knows."

I pressed my hand to our captive's forehead and released the seal. His slow breathing immediately turned into a gasp and frantic breathing, trying to release himself in a panic.

"Don't struggle," Kakashi-sensei said, his voice taking on an odd emotionless lilt to it. "You're currently bound by an unbreakable seal and you have no chance of getting out unless you cooperate."

It's hardly unbreakable. In fact, I made it breakable on purpose so we could get the guy off our wagon later. I didn't say that because I don't think Kakashi wants me to interrupt.

"Okay," He sounded desperate. "Okay, alright. I'll cooperate. I just don't want to die… _please_ …"

As a guy who _has_ died before, I understood. Dying sucked. But he has undoubtedly committed murder before, given how ready he was to kill us. Homeless nin and all that. So…probably would be just if we ended him after words. But I don't know that.

Thankfully, the decision was technically out of my hands. Kakashi was the one in charge here.

"What were you hoping to gain by attacking this wagon?" Kakashi asked.

"…we…me and the others heard about this valuable piece of cargo," He said with a gulp. "Heard from our fence that it was so big that both Earth and Lightning were going to have a bidding war for it at a black-market auction in Kusa. We've been casing caravans for weeks…this is the first one guarded by Shinobi, so we thought it was here."

Well, shoot. That is big. Probably lots of people there, too. Lots of EXP.

"Do you know what this cargo is?" Kakashi asked.

"No," Our captive shook his head. "We had no idea, just that it was in a box and was really valuable."

"Were you working alone or are there more of you?" Kakashi asked.

"We're part of a gang," He replied. "We were supposed to watch caravans going from Takato to Takayama. We caught sight of the driver, he told us there was shinobi guarding his wagon to intimidate us so we kidnapped him, waited for a half an hour and took a round-about way to the wagon."

He took a deep breath. "Then the Genin happened."

"They tend to do that," Kakashi-replied. "Where's the rest of your gang?"

"They set up a base between Takayama and Kusa," He replied, his voice starting to shake.

"Is that all?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes," He said in a small voice.

I almost pitied him.

"Daisuke, you mind putting your seal back on him," Kakashi asked.

"Sure," I shrugged and did as asked, the seal writing itself on his forehead.

Kakashi briefly shook his head at himself.

"So, are we sending him to T&I?" I asked. "Or are we executing him?"

"He did attempt to attack one of Konoha's clients and barely threaten the cell guarding said client," Kakashi replied. "We have every right to execute him now."

I blinked. Time to be devil's advocate! "Sensei, if I may."

"Proceed," Kakashi replied, turning to me.

"He was also extremely cooperative and as a bandit he most likely knows the locations of others bandit gangs, their methods and list of crimes," I argued. "I could see the Daimyo being very happy at having the problem reduced to a fraction in the land of Fire. For a time, at least."

Kakashi weighed the options in his head. At least I think he was. "How would we transport him to Konoha?"

Flying Thunder God Seal Mk. II?

 _Fuinjutsu Check Failed: 52/100._

Right, that's clearly out.

"Can we get a hold of a messenger hawk and signal Konoha for pickup?" I asked with a frown.

"I didn't bring one," Kakashi shrugged. "And I don't think your teammates did, either?"

Hmmm…actually, I can seal. All I would need is to create something hawk-like…like Origami. I know we have a lot of paper in the Wagon, though I'm not sure using it would be a good idea. Then I would write a seal on the wings for direction and to compensate for the air like a real bird does and have it maneuver properly to give out the right messages. "Did you bring any paper?"

"No," Kakashi said, looking at me oddly. "Why?"

"I didn't either," I frowned. I looked up the path and saw Nichiren and Hisako talking. My hands formed a megaphone and I called, "Hey, Nichiren!"

He looked up at me. "Yeah?"

"Did you bring any paper?" I asked.

"Yeah!" Nichiren said. "You need some?"

"Yeah!" I replied.

"Okay," Nichiren took a moment to spare a couple more words with Hisako, who stood up and followed back. Nichiren had a storage scroll open and withdrew a thick stack of paper and he handed it to me. "Here you go. Why did you need it?"

"I had an idea," I responded, taking all of the sheets. I used strings to lay them out on the ground in a nine-by-nine square.

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 55/50._

 _+150 EXP._

Each of the sheets melded together, the edged fusing and it became one large sheet of paper. I sent chakra-strings from each of my fingers and started to fold. The geometry in my head of each fold was clear in my head-

- _Intelligence Check Success: 10/9-_

 _-_ which was most certainly awesome. At the end, I only had to make a few tucks and adjustments by hand, but I had a slightly larger-than-average messenger hawk.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 52/45._

 _+150 EXP._

2580 more to go.

A seal stretched its way over the hawk, darkening it enough to make it visible to Konoha, as well as adjusting airflow around it and giving it a route. It wasn't sapient by any means; it was more like a glider with automated fins. I attached a small rolled up piece of paper from the left-overs Nichiren gave me and wrote coordinates for our prisoner and telling the hawk to head to Konoha's mail-room.

I released it and it took to the sky, making a bee-line for the village.

"He is going to T&I, right?" I asked.

"…Yes he is," Kakashi said, looking up at the hawk. "That was…rather ingenious."

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

"Stick our captive by the road, he'll be picked up within the day," Kakashi ordered, and I complied, making sure he was at least comfortably leaning up against the tree.

"Within the day?" Hisako frowned. "We've been travelling for two."

"We've also been travelling at a civilian's pace," Kakashi eye-smiled. "That's big part of it."

"Alright," Hisako said with a sigh. She looked at me, then she looked away.

"Are we ready to go?" Kakashi asked.

We all gave our affirmatives. Kakashi tapped Arai on the shoulder, and he removed the cotton from his ears and snapped the reigns to drive the wagon forward.

* * *

Takayama was a fair bit bigger than Takato, in that it seemed like a proper city. We guarded the wagon through the gates, they way to the warehouse was longer. And interestingly, I spotted _five_ casinos on the way in. My mouth started to water.

I remember in my old life, my religion had a thing against gambling.

But in my mind right now, it's not gambling. It's investing. Completely different things.

… _I'm going to have so much money._

Of course, that depended on A: Whether or not Shinobi were allowed entrance, most likely because Tsunade was allowed entrance. The question is whether they let her in because she's was a Sannin and they couldn't stop her, or if she was allowed in because she was a customer. Or B: If they'll allow twelve year olds in to 'gamble'. My gut says yes. My head says no.

But I think I'm crazy, so what do I know?

We got to the warehouse and Arai hopped down from the wagon as it was led away inside.

"Thank you again Kakashi-san," Arai bowed. "I cannot express my gratitude enough."

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail:_

 _Completed: Guard the wagon on its way to the second stop._

 _Investigate the Second Warehouse for the Mysterious Package._

"Just doing my job," Kakashi replied. "Now, my team and I need to review what happened on the mission, if you'll excuse us."

"Of course, of course!" Arai beamed, walking away.

"Follow me," Kakashi beckoned us and we did.

He led us to another motel and went up to our rooms. This motel was higher-class than the previous one, built with superior materials and more decorative bedding. I imagine that there's a lot of traffic through Kusa, since it's a nation of diplomats by trade. Hence, Casinos.

That I will rob.

Without doing anything illegal.

… _they see me rollin', they hatin'…_

"Same orders as last time," Kakashi said, calling my attention to the here and now. "Try to stay out of random beams of light this time, alright?"

Oh ha, ha. "Yes Sensei."

"Good. You all have lock-picks?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes," Hisako nodded.

"Uh-huh," Nichiren answered.

"Picks for days," I replied.

"We'll back in the room at the same time," Kakashi checked the clock on the wall. "So in about two hours."

We went to our rooms. Nichiren and Hisako to sleep, freaking champs, only going two hours after a day-long hike and an attack and then on a stealth mission.

So what's the plan? After we figure out this Organ Trail non-sense, I ask and find a way to convince Kakashi-sensei to let me gamble in the casinos. Hopefully, I've gathered enough trust/respect in order for him to say yes.

Probably should throw in some safe guards. Pledging not to use all my money in the casinos is a good start. I'll stick with the house minimum, since I brought a few thousand with me regardless. That's just common sense. Then set a time which I'll leave the Casino and ask for Kakashi to come with.

…hopefully that'll be enough to convince him to say yes.

Eleven rolled around, and thankfully it was overcast, bringing all possible moonlight to a null factor. We arrived at this second warehouse much like we did the first, except with less jumps and more wall-crawling since the buildings were taller.

The warehouse was built _exactly_ like the first one, but with more guards who were actually doing their jobs and patrolling the warehouse. We each ducked out of the way as one of the guards raised his lantern to the window.

After a few seconds, the lantern was lowered and Kakashi pried the window open. We quickly slid into the building, single file and following Kakashi like a line of spiders.

This warehouse was filled to the brim with boxes of all shapes and sizes. If what we were looking for was here, we'd have a very tough time finding it.

 _Sneak Check Success: 22/20._

Thankfully, there was no light for me to accidentally crawl into and I was quiet enough, if a little slow. Eventually, we made it around to the office. Kakashi signaled for us to hold as multiple guards had routes which had them face the office. When there was a gap, Kakashi dropped down, picked the lock almost instantly and disappeared inside the office just in time for a beam of light from a guard's lantern to pass over it.

We waited.

And we waited.

Nichiren and Hisako were starting to breathe loudly as the stress of hiding and the possibility of getting caught at any time started to take their toll. Once there was a gap, Kakashi opened the door and hurriedly waved us forward. We were in and the door was shut before we could get spotted.

Inside was a similarly built office, if not a little cleaner than the previous one.

"Nichiren, get started on the safe," Kakashi whispered. "Hisako, Daisuke? Search their files for anything. I'll keep watch."

Right. I dug out my set of lock-picks and got to work.

 _Snap._

 _Snap._

"Picks for days," I grumbled, putting in another pick. "Picks for days."

Finally, the tumblers clicked open and I was able to slide the drawer open.

You know, I wish Bethesda kept the lock picking mini-game from Oblivion for their future games, if only because that's how you actually pick a lock. None of that 'find the sweet spot' crap.

Ugh…let's see…this is all old material, the youngest by two years. I searched and like last time, I found nothing.

I slid the drawer closed and opened the bottom drawer.

"The safe's open," Nichiren whispered, pulling it open.

"See if there's a false bottom," Kakashi said, still keeping an eye on the significantly more vigilant set of guards.

I looked over from my cabinet, which only had things as far away as a year ago, to look at the safe. Like the last one, it had a lot of Ryo in it, as well as keys hung up on the inside of the safe door. Predictably, it had a false bottom and also predictably, this one had stuff in it.

Not nearly as much as the last one, but it had stuff in it. Specifically, a single, plain looking envelope tied together with a string. Nichiren undid the string and read. "Huh. The package is here."

"Does it say that?" Kakashi asked.

"It's orders from a _Morita Seiho_ , telling them not to ship the package until after the wagon guarded by Shinobi has gone past," Nichiren reported. He looked up. "I think they were going to use us for a bait-and-switch."

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail_

 _Completed: Investigate the Second Warehouse for the Mysterious Package._

 _Find the Mysterious Package._

"The wagon getting guarded by Shinobi gets attacked for the cargo," Kakashi mused. "The Shinobi may or may not drive them off, but if the attackers win, they leave disappointed since there was nothing particularly of value on the wagon. While the attackers are replenishing their numbers, they send the illicit cargo through to Kusa unmolested."

"Do we know who Morita Seiho is?" I asked with a frown.

"The man who hired us," Kakashi sighed. "He's been the company's liaison to Konoha for many years now. If something caused him to turn on Konoha, it must be very large indeed."

"He might've always been corrupt," I offered. "Just didn't make such a big play until now."

"Maybe," Kakashi replied. "But now we need to find the package."

"Yup," I nodded. "Should we take out the guards first or make this an all-stealth run?"

Kakashi looked at him oddly. "…can you do it without killing them?"

That made sense. They, most likely, were just people doing their jobs and didn't deserve to have their brains splattered all over the floor. "With my seal, yes…though actually… does anyone here have knock-out gas or poison?"

"Can you make a jutsu for that?" Kakashi asked with a risen eyebrow.

"Uh…" I thought in my head. Probably…need the ram sign, maybe combine it with dragon and horse, throw in a couple of snakes… Although the knock-out gas might be a little challenging. "The jutsu wouldn't be a problem. The gas itself will be, though. I don't know how to make a sedative like that."

Seriously. I mean, I was familiar with poisons, but beyond the lethal ones and how to treat them, I was almost at a lost.

 _Medicine Check Failure: 30/45._

Thanks, game.

Hisako made an uncomfortable sounding grunt. "I…uh…I brought a sedative to dip my senbon in. Would that work?"

"Perfect," I nodded. "I might use it all, though. Is that okay?"

Hisako looked at me and eventually sighed. "Yeah, go ahead."

"Thank you," I beamed. "Really, I appreciate-"

"Just…hurry up and use it," Hisako was fighting a smile across her face as she dug out a vial and handed it to me. "Before I decide we need a new plan."

I took the vial and made my way to the door.

"Wait for my signal," Kakashi ordered.

I waited, crouching on my knees, prepared to bust through the door.

"Go, quietly," Kakashi whisper-snapped.

I quickly opened the door and shunshin'd to the top of the roof. I looked down at the web of guards as I focused my chakra into the vial of sedative. Horse, snake, dragon, ram, snake, dragon, ram.

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 55/45._

 _Medicine Check Success: 30/30._

 _+150 EXP._

The jutsu sucked only some of the sedative out of the vial, spraying it in a fine mist that deliberately targeted each of the guards. I watched in fascination as each guard was brought down, knocked out by the powerful sedative. A total of nine, brought to the floor, their lanterns clattering to the surface.

I dropped to the top of a shelf of boxes and hopped over to the office door. "Okay, we're good."

They each walked out of the office and I handed Hisako her bottle. "Turns out I didn't need it all. Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Hisako said, taking the bottle back with a small grin.

"Find the box," Kakashi looked around the warehouse. "It should be labeled don't ship until July 6th since that's when they expected us to be gone."

"Hai Sensei," I replied.

We looked and…wait, I had Iruka's sensor jutsu. Let's see if I can get anything from it.

I made the seals, the wave of chakra went out, causing all of my teammates, sensei-included, to look at me and from the jutsu I…got…a flare of chakra back. One that straight up confused me.

"It worked this time," I smiled, though I'm sure my confusion was in my voice. "I think our box is this way."

"What worked this time?" Nichiren asked.

"Back at the house, I tried to use an echolocation jutsu," I explained as I lead my team down an aisle, careful to step around the guards. "It would send a pulse of chakra out and bounce back whenever it hit something. Back then, I couldn't get it to bounce back…now it did."

"You sound confused," Hisako stated.

"I am confused," I replied. I got to the point where I felt the chakra flare. The box was two feet tall and wide, marked for the correct date. "This is it."

I grabbed the box and started to slide out from under the shelf.

"Open it," Kakashi said.

I obliged, ripping the top and sides off, revealing several large scrolls of fabric, held together by a plastic top. I took the top off so the fabrics fell away revealing… _oh boy_.

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail._

 _Completed: Search for the Mysterious Package._

 _Talk with your team._

Everyone looked at the contents with wide eyes. Nichiren's jaw was slowly opening to a gape.

"This is certainly bigger than I thought it was," Kakashi said finally.

Inside was a glass case with seals inscribed on it. The glass case contained a man, curled up in a fetal position with several binds placed on his ankles and wrists, each of these sealed. He had black hair which went down to the small of his back, which looked greasy, as if he had been like this for a while.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/3._

On his forehead was a green seal, with a freaking swastika right in the center. This was a member of the Hyuuga's branch family. How did he get here? Where was he going? …Suddenly _Organ Trail_ made a lot of sense.

He was breathing slowly, so he was alive, if only barely.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 52/50._

It appears the seals on his bindings were in place to slow his metabolism down, put him in a state of suspended animation. The seals on his glass case were there to reinforce it, and make it more resistant to breaking. He was alive because the seal on his forehead would destroy his eyes, which were the most valuable part of this little captive. Earth and Lightning would _definitely_ be interested in a package like this.

I wonder how they were able to keep this quiet from Konoha.

Could I disengage these seals?

 _Fuinjutsu Check failure: 52/65._

Yeah, these were a little bit beyond me. I mean, I can see where the chakra and stuff links together pretty well in some areas, but the form seems a little confusing in others.

"Kakashi-sensei," Hisako started, looking thoroughly creeped out. "Do you know who this is?"

"I do not," Kakashi replied. "He's a member of the Hyuuga, kept alive for his Byakugan. Most definitely going to be sold to either Earth or Lightening, assuming they didn't try to steal him first."

"So what do we do?" Nichiren asked.

"The first thing we need to do is get this box back to our rooms and alert Konoha," Kakashi responded swiftly. "Preferably the Hokage, he can decide who can be trusted with this."

"Do you need me to make another messenger hawk?" I asked with a frown.

"The post office should have its own hawks," Kakashi replied. "Especially ones trained to go straight to the Hokage. Unless it would help you reach a power-spike, I think we can just use one of them."

"It wouldn't," I replied with a shrug. "I only get closer by creating jutsu, not using old ones."

"Alright," Kakashi said. "Can you put the box back together?"

I nodded. "Yes, Sensei."

I used strings to assemble the scrolls of cloth back together and hold them together as I put the crate back together. Since I only ripped it off the nails, it was surprisingly easy. Then I wrapped it with a set of chakra-threads to keep it together. Then I lifted a box up and _whoo_ it was heavy.

 _You are now over-encumbered._

Shut up, game. I know.

"Daisuke, I can carry that," Kakashi said, taking the box off my hands almost effortlessly. "No need to break your back for it."

"Right," I said, breathing heavily. "Thanks, Sensei."

* * *

 _Author's Notes: I don't really have much to say about this chapter, or arc in general. This particular arc doesn't have much meaning for the story ahead beyond how it develops the characters. Hope you enjoyed it in any case.  
_


	20. Explosions

_T_ _he Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"...that's why we can't use storage scrolls for this," I finished explaining as we slid the box up the wall of the motel with a seal that allowed it to stick to the surface and move, courtesy of me, that left me with only 2130 EXP until I level. "Don't want to reduce the Hyuuga to a fine paste."

"So you can use storage scrolls as a weapon?" Hisako asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yup," I nodded. "I'm mainly wondering why it wasn't done sooner."

"Huh," Hisako blew her dark bangs out of her eyes. "Is that something you're going to work on when we get back?"

"Maybe," I shrugged. "The concept is interesting enough, I guess. I don't really see the point since I can reduce someone to bloody giblets with a punch, though."

Hisako hummed, and went back to looking at the ground. The Wall.

She was acting oddly civil. I wonder what she and Nichiren talked about while we were interrogating the blind guy. Speaking of which, I wonder if ANBU had found him already?

Kakashi opened the window ahead of us and we tilted the box inside. It fell to the floor with a clatter and thankfully it was intact as we entered.

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail._

 _Completed: Get the box back to Sensei's Motel room._

 _Talk with your team._

 _(Optional): Meet Arai at the Warehouse for the final journey._

"Huh," I said, tilting my head.

"What's the matter?" Kakashi asked.

"Apparently I'll get closer to a power-spike if we complete the contract as intended as well as solve this _mess_ ," I answered, gesturing to the box.

"Oh," Kakashi blinked. "Huh. Okay…let's see what the Hokage says once we've sent a message to him."

"Are we really going to finish the mission?" Nichiren asked, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

"We do have a job to do," Kakashi shrugged. "But this is a _huge_ breach in Konoha security, so…I don't think so."

"I'd like too if at all possible," I input.

"I'll make a note of that," Kakashi nodded. "Now, let's get a message off to the Hokage. At best, we'll meet our client at the warehouse and start making serious inquiries."

"Of the lethal kind?" I asked.

"Depends," Kakashi shrugged. Then he looked seriously at each of us. "We can't leave our friend unguarded while we get a message off."

"I volunteer for guard duty," I raised my hand. "I don't need to sleep and if something does happen, the three of you will still be able to get some rest without undue stress further impacting your energy levels."

 _Speech Check Success: 39/30._

"Are you volunteering because you know something is going to happen?" Kakashi looked at me critically, his visible eye narrowing.

"I haven't received any kind of premonition," I replied with a raised eyebrow. "But I have a gut feeling that something will happen regardless of how we divide ourselves up."

Kakashi sighed. "Alright. Daisuke, stand guard and don't let anything happen. Hisako and Nichiren, you'll come with me to send a message off."

"Yes Sensei," Nichiren said. Then he turned to me. "Be careful."

"Stay safe," Hisako frowned.

"I will," I waved at them. "See you later."

They leapt through the window. I turned off the light and sat on top of the box, cross-legged and waited. Well, I didn't use the wait command, but I waited the old fashion way.

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail_

 _Completed: Talk with your team._

 _Guard the Branch Member._

 _(Optional): Meet Arai at the Warehouse for the final journey._

This was big.

Absolutely massive.

Naturally, I had a million and one questions. Who was the Hyuuga? How did he get captured? Who captured him? Who did they get to draw the seal network? Is our client the middle man or the merchant? Did _he_ draw the seals? If not, then who did he get? Or is he shipping the contents on the behalf of someone?

So many questions.

Another thing.

I straight up killed a guy on the way here. Well, I mean…I've killed people before. I mean, at the house I saw myself murdering members of the Brotherhood of Steel. Blood and guts everywhere. But that was just a Genjutsu…it was real enough. Completely real at the time.

I'm no stranger to murder…which is somewhat disturbing in implication.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

There were footsteps outside of my door. Slow, methodical and heavy. I noted the shadow that stretched from the light shining beneath the door.

I cracked my knuckles.

Suddenly, the door _exploded_ off of its hinges flying directly at me. I stopped it with my palm, using my chakra to cushion it so it didn't explode all over the room. Then I let it go, causing it to fall onto the floor then it fell forward.

Standing in the doorway was a man. He had a pot belly and wore a grey battle-kimono with bandages wrapped around his fingers and I guess they well all the way up his arms. He had a goatee with reached out to a point, it being silver. He was entirely bald and his eyes were red.

I pointed to my seat. "Is this your box?"

He nodded. "It is."

"Oh," I blinked. "So, can I ask who you are?"

"'Fraid I'm on a tight schedule," He replied, moving the bandages on his hand to bite his knuckle hard enough to _bleed_. "So I'll just be taking that box."

"That's a shame," I replied, standing up. Then I sent out a bunch of strings, trying to repeat my performance earlier that day. What I didn't expect was for my strings to fizzle out when he raised up his arm to block them, causing the bandages to glow.

Huh.

He's put seals on his bandages. Okay then.

As far as boss battles go, I'm predicting a fairly difficult match.

Crap.

He charged forward and I brought my hands together for rapid-fire hand signs.

 _Force Lightning_.

Lightning chakra poured from my fingertips, causing my opponent to raise his arms again in defense, but that's what I wanted. The best part about my copy of the famous technique was that it was fairly easy to maintain while I was moving. So I ran up to the guy with lightning firing at him, my chakra levels depleting rapidly and I kicked him in the stomach.

Or I tried, he was significantly faster than I was and stepped backward, the bandages on his hands rapidly unfurling and constricting themselves around my hands and throat, draining the chakra out of my hands and strangling…the life… _out of me_.

An oxygen counter appeared in my vision, slowly ticking down.

"Sorry kid," The enemy said. "But I can't let you get in the way of this."

 _I'm not a child._

I slammed my bound hands around the thread leading to my neck and-

 _Agility Check Success: 8/8._

Managed to untie it swiftly enough that he couldn't do anything about it. Gasping for breath, I broke into a full tackle, slamming into him with my shoulder and knocking him down.

"You little punk," He snarled, grabbing a kunai out of his jacket and sending it at a direct coarse with my head.

I barely dodged out of the way, giving him a kick in the stomach for his trouble. No chakra meant no _Tsunade Special_. Which means he's going to beat me unless I untie myself and fast.

 _Agility Check Success: 8/8._

My hands were unwrapped now, thankfull-OW SON OF A-

-28 HP.

He hit me with another kunai to my side. Out.

My chakra was starting to come back, faster than usual since his chakra-drain dispelled my Henge. Great. Fantastic.

We were in the hall now. He was running away, briefly facing backward to send his bandages after me. I jumped over the bandages as they tried to curl around me, sticking to the wall and surging forward after him, bouncing from floor to wall to dodge the doors that were spread throughout.

His bandage defense made using Jutsu on him problematic. If I had to bet, his seals use the excess chakra to power themselves and keep the strain off my opponent here.

The enemy recalled his bandages and they formed a screen of seals right in front of me, crap, crap, _crap…_

 _Agility Check Success: 8/7._

I was thankfully able to stop and back track, jumping and sliding to get around the serpentine seals as they came after me once again. I breathed out a scattering of small fireballs but they were swiftly intercepted.

 _Crap_.

I ducked back into my room and out the window. I ran on the wall and thankfully found an open window at the end of the hall, which I used to dive in and get back into the hall, emerging on the other side. His back was turned to me and with a fist full of chakra, I jumped right for him.

 _Sneak Check Failure: 22/25._

He turned to face me almost immediately and with a look of panic in his aged eyes, brought his bandages around my hands just before they collided with his face.

Dang it.

The punch was to his eye and sent him recoiling, allowing me to untie my hands once again. He threw a kunai, then another in rapid succession as he leapt down the hallway. I dodged both, but they threw off my momentum. With a snarl on his face, my opponent threw out his bandages again.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

Wait.

He drew seals on both sides of the bandages. The first set drained chakra. This set…

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 52/40._

Oh crap.

I jumped for him and his snarl turned to a panicked expression as the bandages homed in on my chakra signature. I cocked my fist back and tried to hit him in the face once again before-

 _-210 HP._

 _Head Crippled._

 _Torso Crippled._

 _Left Arm Crippled._

 _Right Arm Crippled._

 _Left Leg Crippled._

 _Right Leg Crippled._

The sound was deafening. I could feel the floor give out beneath me as the bomb his bandages set off ripped a shockwave through the air and through me, fire scorching my skin. I collapsed to the floor beneath. Dust and ash clung to the air.

I coughed dust and air. My vision blurred and my ears couldn't hear anything past the ringing sound. The pain was unbearable, every move making it worse. But I had to move; if I could survive that, so could he, and he might be in a position to start with the killing.

 _Endurance Check Success: 6/6._

 _Endurance Check Failure: 6/8._

With a cry of pain that I couldn't suppress, I managed to stand up. We were in the lobby, my blurring vision and pounding headache notwithstanding. Since it was late at night, no one was in the lobby, but assuredly there was people awake now.

I limped over to the wall, taking cover while I looked for the boss.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/5._

There he was, hiding on the other side of the desk. The curious glow of green chakra gave him away.

…he was healing himself.

 _NopenopenopeOW!_

 _Endurance Check Failure: 6/7._

Unfortunately, I couldn't keep standing. I fell to the floor with a painful thump but I couldn't stop. So I started sliding forward with my chakra, going around the desk like a snake. I used chakra-strings to pull shuriken from the pouch on my belt.

I came around to him and he looked awful. His left eye had popped, his whole torso was charred black and I think I could see his ribs poking out. His legs were both broken, the right one was a severe compound fracture.

My strings were used to restrain his hands and he fought. The shuriken were used to sever the bandages… should've done that sooner He grabbed another kunai and I attempted to stop him from stabbing me right there.

 _-21 HP._

Have you ever been in so much pain that it stopped bothering you? That was me, as the kunai that had been stabbed my forearm caused significantly less distress than I thought it should as I wrenched the kunai from his hand using my bone as leverage.

"…what _are you?_ " My unfortunate opponent asked with terror in his eyes.

 _Charisma Check Failed: 1/4._

Seriously? What kind of question was that? "Durable."

 _+500 EXP._

His grey matter now decorated the front-lobby just like the upstairs hall.

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail_

 _Completed: Guard the Branch Member._

 _Talk with your team._

 _(Optional): Meet Arai at the Warehouse for the final journey._

I started to slide, my blurry vision causing me to steer wrong and right into a wall. Ow.

 _-5 HP._

…maybe I should just sit tight and wait for my team to show up. And hope the boss here was by himself, because I'm going to die if I find anyone else.

I wonder if he was in the bingo book? Will I get a massive bounty for killing this guy? I hope so.

How extensive are my injuries?

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

…missing depth perception, so I've lost another eye. Odd breeze across my teeth so I've got a hole in my face, possibly missing the cheek entirely. My nose seems oddly spacious. I brought a hand up to check on it and…I don't have a nose. Great.

Ribs and organs are exposed, as well as the right femur and shin. Possibly the left as well. Third degree burns all over as well as lacerations. I think my left arms been dislocated…though it's more likely it's been nearly amputated. There's also a hole in my throat, which will make speaking difficult.

 _"Daisuke!"_ I saw someone come into my field of vision.

Was that Hisako? I think that was Hisako.

"He's still alive!" That…was that Nichiren. I think. Lot of ringing in my ears.

I hope that's my team and not enemies I'm mishearing. I'll just use _wait_ for an hour and see what happens. Skip an hour of pain.

* * *

…when I came too, I was on an operating table with surgeons leaning over me with scalpels- _time to sleep!_

* * *

I came too again in a hospital room, the windows closed. The sun hadn't risen yet. I checked my condition and I had fully healed. Hastily tore off _all_ the bandages and casts and stood up. Where's my gear? With a grumble, I pulled out my black notebook from wherever I pull it from and…yeah, my gear is still in my inventory. It doesn't list it as damaged or anything, so I wonder...I used my inventory to equip my broken equipment.

There was a mirror in the hospital room, and so I was able to see that my equipment was completely undamaged, which made no sense in regards to what happened earlier. Clearly, this was game mechanics at work. I wonder if I can fix any piece of armor that I wear just by sleeping in it? Well, most likely by putting it in my inventory…I'll have to work out the details later. Right now, I need to let my teammates know I'm alright. A few hand signs to apply my Henge and I was ready to go.

So, I left my room and saw…oh, Kakashi-sensei. He was standing guard outside my hospital room and looking at me like I had risen from the grave.

"Hi Sensei," I said with a wave. "Slept it off."

"I can see that," Kakashi nodded.

"I woke up on the surgeons table…that was fun," I nodded. "Well, from my meditation. Not an actual 'sleep'. If you know what I mean."

"Sure," Kakashi blinked, sounding completely at a loss of what to do.

"Where's Hisako and Nichiren?" I asked, looking around for them.

"Hisako had to use the bathroom and Nichiren went to get a snack," Kakashi replied.

"That's odd, I thought they'd be back at the Motel," I frowned. "They still need to sleep. Did you guys run into trouble?"

"Not as much trouble as you did," Kakashi said. "Daisuke…did you know?"

"Know what?" I asked.

"Know the amount of trouble that was coming your way?" Kakashi asked with a narrowing eye.

"I _guessed_ ," I replied. I mean, a choice like that usually involves either a mob attacking the group or a one-on-one duel. I was right, but that's genre savviness hitting reality which doesn't always work.

"You _guessed_ ," Kakashi repeated with a disgusted tone on his voice.

"Like I said, I guessed that trouble was going to find us no matter which way we went," I replied with a shrug. "So I picked my battlefield. Sounds like I was right."

"I suppose you were," Kakashi shrugged, his eye still narrow. "We got attacked by a gang of five, trying to take us out before they moved on the box at the motel. After we dispatched them, we heard an explosion coming from the motel. There, we find the corpse of an A-rank missing-nin and _you_."

"So he was in the bingo book!" I said with a smile. "I get his bounty, right?"

Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his silver hair. "Are you serious right now?"

"Yeah," I replied.

" _This isn't a game, Daisuke_!" Kakashi shouted. "Y-"

I lost it.

I started laughing. I laughed hard and long. I laughed until my lungs burned and my breath was gone. My laughter was changed to coughs and still I couldn't hold it in, coughing and wheezing as my body tried to force more laughter, even as I was forced to my hands and knees. Finally, I was able to stop the coughs…even as a giggle remained on my lips.

Kakashi was quiet.

"Not a game," I repeated, slowly standing up. "You have no idea how well I know that fact, Kakashi-sensei."

"Then why act like it is?" Kakashi asked, angry but distressed. "Why put yourself in a position, deliberately, where you _know_ someone is going to try to kill you?"

"I get closer to a power spike if I kill something," I shrugged. Might as well get it out of the way…they already know everything else.

"You get closer to a power spike if you kill something," Kakashi's eye was widening.

"Yup," I nodded with a frown. "I found that out when I cleared out the rats on soldier pills, way back when…got a premonition they needed killing, so I did. Got my first power spike by the end of my first day at the academy."

"Rats on soldier pills," Kakashi repeated, sounding stunned.

"A pair of orphans in the same orphanage as me thought they'd make good training partners," I shrugged. "Way too good for them, nearly killed me. But I slept that off too."

"You've made it a habit of sleeping off near-death experiences," Kakashi sounded _tired_ and angry now.

"Why not sleep it off?" I asked, raising my eyebrow. "I don't want to live with being maimed."

"That's not what I meant," Kakashi slapped his forehead. "I mean that you have no sense of self-preservation."

"I have plenty of sense of self preservation," I replied. "That's why I kill threats before they can attack me…or kill Nichiren and Hisako."

"Daisuke, protecting your teammates isn't your sole responsibility," Kakashi blinked. "You need to protect yourself."

"I did protect myself," I replied. "Besides, I got Hisako and Nichiren out of the missing-nin's way and mostly out of danger with you to guard them. It worked out."

"Daisuke," Kakashi said levelly. "I can't afford to bring a suicidal Genin on missions."

I blinked. Once, twice. "I'm not suicidal. We handled it. I don't see the problem."

"Daisuke, what happens when you pick a fight that you can't win?" Kakashi asked, distress and anger getting more severe. "Like what nearly happened a couple hours ago? You can't tell me that wasn't a close call."

"Eventually there won't be any fight I can't win," I shrugged. "Besides, I was told to guard the box. That's what I did."

"You _did_ ," Kakashi's eye narrowed. Then he sighed. "I just want you to be careful, Daisuke. Your team cares for you, even if you have trouble seeing it."

"I have trouble seeing it sometimes," I admitted under my breath.

"And if you die," Kakashi continued. "You cannot serve Konoha."

"Well, I might make a jutsu to reanimate my corpse," I suggested. "It might not even be hard just…"

"Daisuke," Kakashi was giving me the death glare to end all death glares.

"Sorry," I replied meekly. "I'll be more careful in the future, Sensei. Promise."

Hisako chose that moment to walk up. She grabbed my shoulders and twisted me to face her. She had a large bandage wrapped around her right arm. She looked me up and down, examining me for…something. I felt self-conscious. She pointed at me and looked as if she was going to start speaking, only for her finger to drop and for her shoulders to fall.

Uhh…uh oh. She doesn't like being reminded of what I can do. "I'm sorry."

With tears in her eyes, she immediately seized me in a hug, her pony-tail lightly smacking me in the face. "You're okay…you're okay..."

I awkwardly returned it, slowly wrapping my arms around her. "Yes I am."

Is it just me, or has she gotten really weepy the past couple of days? Must be pretty traumatic or something. Maybe I should get her a present or something? To help her out? That might be good. Probably not sweets…that might be misconstrued, if my old life is any indication.

Ooh, maybe I can build some training weights, like what Lee uses! That'd be good.

"Uh…" Nichiren arrived, arms filled with candy bars. He had a gauze taped to his forehead and his hair had been messed up. "So, you're okay, Daisuke?"

Hisako let me go with a sniffle. I noticed that Nichiren's glasses were starting to fall down again.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied with a shrug. "Bloodline makes injuries meaningless, really. Can I see your glasses?"

"My glasses?" Nichiren asked in confusion. "Sure?"

"Thank you," I said, seizing them with chakra-strings and used a couple of hand-signs to adjust the temples on the side to hug Nichiren's face better.

 _+75 EXP._

Yeah, yeah. Shut up.

I gently slid Nichiren's glasses back on his face. "There. Sorry, seeing those fall off for the hundredth time was bugging me."

"Thanks," Nichiren blinked with a growing smile. "Really, thank you!"

"Don't mention it," I replied with a nod.

So…quick calculation…1555 until my next level up. Great.

"So, what's next?" I asked Kakashi. "I can tell you that nothing else is going to threaten the box."

"Are you sure," Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"Positive," I nodded. "Premonition."

"Awesome," Nichiren said, handing me a candy-bar.

"We need to get you three checked out," Kakashi said, still tired. "Then we are going to move the box to a different motel until reinforcements from Konoha arrive. Then you three are going to sleep and stand guard while I inform our client to stall, should it come to that. Understood?"

"Hai Sensei," Hisako replied.

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail_

 _Completed: Talk with your team._

 _Move the Branch Member._

 _Wait for reinforcements._

 _(Optional): Meet Arai at the Warehouse for the final journey._

* * *

Thankfully, the box was completely and absolutely undamaged. Only the corner of the room had any sign of damage from my fight. As we moved the box to another motel and gave the owner a writ to pay for damages, I was able to learn about my little boss fight.

Mori Kazu was an A-rank homeless Nin, son of a missing-nin from Rock. He was a genius of sealing, that I could infer from what he could do. He obtained a bounty on his head for killing three Chunin on a delivery mission to Suna and taking all of their scrolls, all storage and explosive. Apparently, he learned quite a bit from those scrolls.

So what have I learned?

One, that I need to work Fuinjutsu into my fighting style to counter people like him. Two, don't assume I can take every quest and challenge that comes my way, as the only reason I'm alive right now is because I'm very, very lucky. And three, I need to work out some tactics to use in case I'm ever out of chakra because that fight was _much_ harder than it should've been because he deprived me of chakra.

Should be simple now that I know I need to do it.

I was currently sitting in my room; the box having been deposited in Kakashi's room. I, of course, wasn't tired. Not in the slightest.

…Maybe I should check on Hisako and Nichiren. They were injured and I'd like to know the story behind it.

So I stood up off of my bed, and walked down the hall. I saw that Hisako's light was still on. So I walked over and got ready to knock.

"I used to think Daisuke was almost invincible," Nichiren's voice came from the other side of the door.

"So did I," Hisako sounded less than happy. "At least now we know he's just un-killable."

"…are you okay?" Nichiren asked, concern evident in his voice.

I shouldn't eavesdrop. I have a strict no eavesdropping policy. But…I need to hear this.

"Nichiren, do you know how long I've known Daisuke?" Hisako asked quietly.

Nichiren was quiet for a moment. "Not exactly."

"Since our first day at the academy," Hisako clarified. She sighed. "I met him at our first Taijutsu class. He was extremely good at it, even then. He kicked me in the stomach hard enough to leave a boot print."

"That," Nichiren paused. "Had to hurt."

"It did," Hisako said. Then she sounded…wistful? Odd. "I was so mad when I got home. I told my Mom about it, and she told me that he'd make a great training partner because he was so good."

"She had a point, I guess," Nichiren replied.

"She did," Hisako said. "So…I sucked it up. I made sure to spar with him as often as I could. I got beaten almost every time. But…he never lorded his victory over me. The couple times I won, he actually congratulated me over them."

"Really?" Nichiren asked.

"I mean, it was mostly just an acknowledgement over his shoulder as we went to our next class," Hisako replied. "But still. I was surprised. It wasn't like he was good at making friends. Sometimes he'd try to reach out to the other kids but…they didn't like him."

"He was creepy," Nichiren said.

"I know he was," Hisako sighed. "It was just really _sad_ you know? So I…started trying to help him. He actually got better somewhat; during our first year."

I got up to level five during my first year. Since my stats scale with level, I would, of course have gotten better.

"Then we got on the same team and…he starts pulling jutsu from nowhere," Hisako sighed. "I thought we were…relatively close in ability before that. "I keep trying to help him. I didn't think it was…that _bad_ at first. I just thought it was a little unfair."

"Then the house happened," Hisako's voice turned dark.

"Yeah," Nichiren's voice was equally dark.

"You know what it was like," Hisako said quietly. "Unable to save the ones you cared about as the impossible closed in around you."

I do know what it was like.

"Then Kakashi broke us out…and Daisuke had gotten out himself," Hisako gave a hollow laugh. "I bet it only took him a couple seconds to get out."

Not true. It felt more like ten minutes or so.

"That's when it hit me," Hisako kept going. "Just how impossibly unfair it was. How ridiculous Daisuke's power is."

"I know," Nichiren replied.

"I mean, think about it," Hisako continued. "When he grows up, he's not going to need us…not going to need _me._ "

There was a quiet. Yeah she was crushing. I knew that for a fact. I'm not okay with this, _she's twelve_.

"You like him?" Nichiren sounded somewhat incredulous.

"Yeah."

" _Him_?" Nichiren still sounded incredulous.

" _Yes_ ," Hisako said.

"You like him," It was a statement this time.

" _Nichiren,_ " Hisako growled in irritation.

"Sorry," Nichiren replied defensively. "It just…seems a little odd."

"I know," Hisako sounded depressed. "…then he walks out when we were talking about the House. I needed him there. _We_ needed him there. But he left."

Well yes, I didn't want you to know that I saw Konoha get nuked and invaded by what has become an expy of the Space Marines from Warhammer30K.

…I think it was 30K. Might be 50K. Doubt it was 40K.

"Apparently, he didn't see much of anything horrifying," Nichiren mused darkly.

No, I just don't trust you guys with the knowledge that I'm a reincarnate with video-game powers.

"I'd been trying to help him for years," Hisako sniffed. "Trying to help him be…social."

She was? Wow, I _was_ depressed during my academy years. Barely paid attention to much during that time.

"Then, that night we had dinner with your parents," Hisako continued, sounding _happy_. "I _saw_ it. I saw the person Daisuke could be if he knew how to be social. A person who could listen, who didn't sound like he wanted to bite your head off at random, who didn't stick his foot in his mouth constantly. I saw it."

"Yeah," Nichiren replied. "It was…kind of strange."

"But it was wonderful," Hisako said dreamily before returning to her depressed mood. "Then he went back to normal. My socially incompetent, outrageously powerful sparring partner."

There was a quiet.

"Then he offered to teach me jutsu," Hisako sounded sad again. "Which was…actually really sweet of him in a weird way. But I don't want him to see me as a student. I want him to see me as a _partner_."

"You want him to see you as his girlfriend," Nichiren asked quietly.

"…yeah," Hisako replied morosely.

That probably won't ever happen. At least not until she's an adult and even then it's doubtful.

"At least we know we're not useless," Nichiren tried to sound cheerful. "I mean, both of us are amazing at stealth in comparison."

"Yeah," Hisako said. "And after we figure that out, he kills an A-rank target in the bingo-book."

"…He did nearly die," Nichiren backpedaled. "I mean, that's not good but…still."

Hisako gave a hollow chuckle. "But you know what the worst part about all this is?"

"What?" Nichiren asked.

"He gets better at everything in bursts and training doesn't help," Hisako sounded even more depressed. "That means all the effort I put into helping him be better at socializing was pointless."

…yikes.

"And I feel like a sack of dirt," Hisako was crying again. "Because I liked him better when he was _brainwashed._ "

Wow.

I…screw it.

I'm going to bed.

I can't deal with this. Nope. This is beyond me. I can't process this. My head hurts.

Nope!

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Again, not much to say about this chapter, or arc in general. The characters more or less speak for themselves and it's a fairly decently well written arc in general. I hope you enjoyed it.  
_

 _~Fulcon_


	21. Resolutions

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

I woke up without a sound. I stood up, yawned and heard a sharp knock at my bedroom door.

The best part about being a living video game character was the equip function my note-book had, so I was ready in seconds. "Just a second!"

After applying my Henge, I slid over to the door and yanked it open, seeing Kakashi-sensei, flanked by ANBU. Down by the door to Sensei's room, there were a…pair of Hyuuga shinobi. Huh.

 _Quest Updated: The Organ Trail:_

 _Completed: Wait for reinforcements._

 _Talk with the Hokage and Hyuuga Hiashi._

Hol _eee_ -

"Our reinforcements are here?" I asked with a blink, rubbing the sand out of my eyes.

"They are," Kakashi nodded. "The Hokage has asked us to report on the mission."

"I wasn't sure this was important enough to grab the Hokage's attention," I replied, closing my door behind me. "And I thought perhaps Hyuuga-sama would be informed after we brought him back."

"A Dojutsu was nearly stolen right from under Konoha's nose," Kakashi replied with a serious look in his eye. "We only stopped it because of you. The Hokage is _very_ interested in what happened today and its standard practice to inform the clan heads when something very bad has happened to the clan."

"So he just up and decided to come along?" I asked. That's…not entirely something I would've thought Hiashi would do. Then again, he probably wasn't as bad as fanon made him out to be. But the curse seal on our captive's forehead says otherwise.

"He's the clan leader," Kakashi said as he led me to Nichiren's door. "This is the sort of thing he gets involved in."

He knocked sharply and the sound of someone falling out of bed on the other side was heard. Nichiren came to the door, only opening enough for us to see his face.

"Get dressed," Kakashi ordered. "The Hokage was here and he wants a briefing."

"Hai Sensei," Nichiren said, closing the door. A minute later, he came out, fully clothed and Kakashi moved to knock on Hisako's door.

Nichiren cleared his throat and started to speak softly. "You need to talk to Hisako."

I slumped where I stood. "I know. I just don't know how."

Nichiren stopped and blinked. Then he frowned deeply. "Were you eves-"

"It looks like we're all ready," Kakashi said, Hisako coming out of her room with a large yawn. "The Hokage and the Hyuuga Clan Leader are with our guest and the Hyuuga has requested the chance to thank us personally."

Both? Well, I guess the Hyuuga Elder does want to know how we've reclaimed his missing clansman.

"And Daisuke?" Kakashi added, bringing us to a stop at the door. "Let _me_ do the talking, alright? Nichiren, Hisako? Try to remain awake."

Oh, yeah. They did look like they just got up. Rings under their eyes and all that. Hisako's eyes were red, which made sense. What time is it, anyway?

Kakashi knocked on the door.

I suppose I can check later.

"Enter," The Hokage sounded unusually business-like from the other side of the door.

Kakashi opened the door. The Hokage was standing in front of the box, fully robed and puffing from his pipe. To his right stood whom I presumed was Hyuuga Hiashi; robed in a kimono with the creepy Byakugan eyes boring a hole in my soul.

"Hokage-sama, Hyuuga-sama," Kakashi gave a polite bow, we followed suit.

"Kakashi-san," The Hokage greeted.

"Hatake-san," Hiashi gave a short bow in turn. "I understand Cell 13 was responsible for thwarting this travesty. I wanted to extend both the gratitude of the Hyuuga clan and my personal gratitude to the four of you."

"It was our pleasure to serve Konoha in this manner," Kakashi replied. "We could not allow the Byakugan to fall into the hands of either Cloud or Stone."

"You each have done the village a great service," Hiruzen stated. "Our shinobi has been prepared for rescue. The seal-work is unfortunately too complex to work on here; we'll have to break the network within our walls."

"It's deeply unfortunate this happened at all," Hiashi frowned, looking at the Hokage. "By your leave, Hokage-sama. I want to get Hyobe back to Konoha as soon as possible."

"Yes, that would be best," The Hokage replied. "Make all possible haste."

Hiashi bowed, first to the Hokage, then to us one more time, saying how grateful he was that we stopped this, then he stepped out. After a few moments, the Hyuuga I saw outside the door popped in and started pushing the box, it moving effortlessly with my seal on the bottom.

I won't lie; I'm proud of myself right now.

…Hyobe's the captives name? Huh. Well, if he's been missing, I'm not surprised the head of the Hyuuga clan knew his name. I wonder how much trouble he's in. Hopefully none, I seriously doubt this was actually his fault.

"Now, Kakashi-san," Hiruzen said. "Give me a report on the mission. The blow by blow."

"Daisuke's premonitions proved invaluable as you suspected, Hokage-sama," Kakashi began, giving me the most uncomfortable feeling. "At our first stop we investigated the company warehouse and found that the manager had been keeping files for blackmail, and found that the mysterious package had been moved to the warehouse here. We arrived, found the package and discovered the contents. It was being smuggled by Morita Seiho."

"Oh, that is a headache coming my way," Hiruzen rubbed his temple with a groan as he took the letter Kakashi had stolen from the safe. "Your team has dealt with multiple hostile encounters on this mission, correct?"

"One on the way to Takayama," Kakashi replied. "A team of bandits kidnapped the driver and ambushed the wagon while I was away. They were dealt with, no losses on our side."

"Yes, our captive has been quite willing to divulge information on his former gang," Hiruzen nodded with a smile. "Ibiki hasn't even had to try. The other?"

"We left Daisuke here to guard the box while I took Nichiren and Hisako with me to send a message to you," Kakashi continued. "On the way back, we were accosted by five homeless nin, undoubtedly from the same gang. There were no survivors. Nichiren and Hisako both held their own, I'm happy to say."

"I see," The Hokage said, taking a puff from his pipe. "Was Diasuke's turn as guard quiet?"

"While we were sending a message, Daisuke was attacked by Mori Kazu, an A-rank homeless-nin in the bingo book," Kakashi reported.

Hokage coughed on his smoke in surprise. "An A-rank? A Fuinjutsu specialist as well…that's quite remarkable, Daisuke-kun."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," I replied.

"Here is the medical report of Daisuke's injuries," Kakashi held out the medical form.

Hiruzen took it and began reading, his eyes going wider and wider as he re-read certain parts. "You survived all of that, Daisuke-kun?"

"So did he, oddly enough," I replied, folding my arms. "I had to pop his head before he mystical-palmed himself back to working order."

…why did the room just go quiet?

"You kept fighting?" Hisako asked incredulously. "After _that_?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Wasn't hard, he couldn't walk either."

"Then how did you get to him?" Hiruzen asked, holding his pipe in his hand. "I would understand the explosion would have knocked you apart."

"Chakra-slide," I replied. At the confused look, I slid from side to side to demonstrate. "It's my variant on the tree-climbing technique."

"That's…a very clever technique, Daisuke," The Hokage puffed on his pipe. "After that, your teammates found you, you were taken to the hospital. Is that the end?"

"That is the end, Hokage-sama," Kakashi answered.

The Hokage took a moment to think. "Clearly, this mission is over. I will oversee inquiries into the Warehouse and into the company at large. The three of you are free to go."

"Hokage-sama?" I raised my hand.

"Yes, Daisuke-kun?" Hiruzen asked.

"I would like the chance to fulfill the mission as intended before inquiries are made if at all possible," I requested. "As you've…noted, I improve in bursts and doing do will get me closer to one such burst."

"Will it?" Hiruzen looked at me oddly. "Is it _absolutely necessary_ for you to do this in order to get closer to that spike?"

"…well no," I admitted. "It's entirely optional."

"Then I will indeed have to say no," Hiruzen said with an apologetic smile. "You may be able to go on endlessly, but…look at the rest of your team."

I did and…oh, man.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/3._

They had bags under their eyes, they looked utterly exhausted and basically entirely unable to do anything involving a mission and I should feel bad for assuming they'd be okay with keeping up my insane pace. Even Kakashi looked tired.

So I do feel bad.

I inhaled. "I understand, Hokage-sama. Sorry, everyone. I…briefly forgot that you need to sleep."

"It's okay," Hisako said with a deep yawn.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Nichiren said, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses.

"Don't mention it," The Hokage gave a small chuckle. "But I'm afraid this mission is over. Please, get some rest and return to Konoha the day after tomorrow. That's an order."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," I replied with a bow. The others did the same.

"Kakashi-san, if you'd stay for a moment longer," The Hokage said.

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied, closing the door behind us.

 _Quest Completed: The Organ Trail._

 _Completed: Talk with the Hokage and Hyuuga Hiashi._

 _Failed: (Optional): Meet Arai at the Warehouse for the final journey._

 _+2400_ EXP.

Holy cow.

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 _ **Level Up!**_

Level 11. Oh, man. What was the plan, here?

Okay, I put **5** points into **Ninjutsu,** bringing it up to **60.** Then I put **15** into **Genjutsu,** bringing it up to **36** in preparation for **One-Handed-Jutsu** at 16. I place the final **3** points into **Melee Weapons** , bringing it up to **38**.

And that's it. It's an odd level, so I don't get a perk. 3405 EXP until level 12, at which point, I'll get Toughness to make me even more durable.

"Dismissed," Hokage said, and we filed out. Kakashi stayed behind, presumably to explain stuff in more detail. I don't particularly care all that much.

"So, Daisuke," Nichiren said. "If you don't mind me asking…how long until you get a power spike?"

"I just had one," I replied. "Right as the Hokage finished shooting me down."

"You were that close and you wanted to keep going to get more," Nichiren's eyes boggled.

"No," I shrugged. "It was just worth a lot."

I opened the door to my room. "Sleep well, guys."

With that, the door was shut, and I was left to my thoughts.

So, first things first. I need to intercept Kakashi on his way to bed for gambling privileges. If I went without his approval, I'd get in a _lot_ of trouble. This was, technically, the military. Going AWOL was bad on _thousands_ of different levels, even if you only went five blocks away at maximum.

Second…Hisako.

What to do about Hisako.

I need to shut her down. No matter how much I might not want too. I…no. I can't go into a relationship with a twelve-year-old, even if I've been, physically and perhaps mentally, a child for the past twelve years myself. It…she needs someone mentally her age. I'm undoubtedly a mess of psychological issues and problems that I don't really want to share.

But how do I do it without also causing her a lot of grief?

I don't think I can. Charisma 1…4…it's one of those.

I rest my head on the wall with a groan as I tried to ignore the approaching headache.

What I don't understand is how her crush even _started_. I thought it was just the suit from the dinner party doing its thing but from what she said, it's been going on for a lot longer. How do you crush on a statue? One that's wearing a disguise so he can pretend he's somewhat normal? _Why_ do you crush on a statue? Platonic friendship is what I'd expect not full on physical attraction.

Why am I also feeling like I kind of like it?

I know the answer to that one, at least.

I've only had one girlfriend in both of my lives. The state of my romantic life was pathetic in my previous life and hasn't even been resuscitated in this one. I've…lost _a lot_ when I came here. My name…my family, friends... culture, history, civilization. The world. Okay, I lost everything. Then, I make a decision that leaves me almost friendless for most of my life.

Then this girl comes around and she likes me in spite of that.

In spite of her envy. In spite of every social challenge I completely fail at, she likes me.

I don't understand why.

What does she like about me? She turned me down when I offered to help. She openly despises my skills. I…don't get it. Granted, I don't understand why she's my friends in the same manner. _Is_ she my friend, or just my teammate? Is Nichiren?

Obviously. She's tried to help me with social understanding several times since we became teammates and according to her, in the Academy.

Nichiren was kind enough to invite me into his home, but maybe he was just being nice? Since I am his teammate?

Focus.

I don't know what to do. What do I tell her? I can't function in a relationship. At all. A couple in a romantic relationship have to be able to put each other's needs ahead of their own. They have to be able to anticipate those needs and help the other understand what their own needs are. They have to be able to balance, live together in harmony and _trust_ each other. After all, love is fleeting. Infatuation fades quickly. Trust, carefully cultivated, can last forever. What was the old saying? 'True love is friendship caught on fire?'

How much of that can I do? How many of her needs can I anticipate and adapt to? None! I can't do that. It's _physically impossible_ for me to do that. I have the emotional intelligence of a brick!

…

Oh.

I guess I know what to say to her, now.

…am I crying?

I used a finger to carefully pass under my eye. I stared at the tear that I had gathered on my fingertip with a frown.

Huh. I am crying.

Alright then.

…should I talk about the house?

I don't want too. But clearly it's bothering them. What do I say? Konoha got attacked by a highly advanced army with a giant robot. The initial attack was a bomb that completely disintegrated the house, dropped metric tons of radiation in the air…I watched as my first and one of my only friends melted in my arms…and promptly went ballistic on the enemy and popped them like water balloons.

I'm crying again.

Dang it.

So, what should I…keep out of that? Mentioning Liberty Prime won't do. Maybe just mentioning the attack would be all. How to avoid mentioning radiation? I can't justify Naruto dying the way he did if I don't mention something. He died of radiation _poisoning_. So maybe…just saying 'the air was poisoned' will suffice.

But when do I bring it up?

I have no idea.

 _Do_ I bring it up? Should I wait for one of the others to ask me again?

…I don't get anything done by waiting for someone else.

I jumped into bed and decided to sleep for three hours.

* * *

About three and a half hours later, we were sitting in a restaurant. It was pretty standard stuff, a hot grill in front of us where our slices of meat would cook to whatever version of done we'd prefer. I'd discovered a fondness for medium rare steak, myself. Kakashi was seated to my left, Hisako right across from me and Nichiren on her side.

Kakashi had handed us each our pay-vouchers, to be handed in at whatever financial institution we deemed fit. I preferred the front desk of the academy, it was simpler. The amount was just over 2 million, and I received an extra voucher for 750 thousand for dealing with the homeless nin.

We had an S-rank mission on our belts. That's going to look odd when we go in for the Chunin exams. People will freak out, calling us plants to make Konoha look good. I really can't wait for it. I mean, I probably won't be able to kill any of the enemy nin, but that shouldn't be too much of a problem; I didn't have to solve all of my problems with violence. Just most of them.

"Kakashi-sensei?" I asked. "Do you know when the Chunin-exams are?"

"The next ones start at the end of November," Kakashi replied. "This year they'll be handled in Suna, one of our allies."

I blinked. Oh _boy_. I might catch a glimpse of Gaara early. Or I might not. I can't imagine word of Gaara would not have spread in the previous timeline for Naruto and gang to hear about, so they knew how dangerous he was.

Stuff just got complicated.

…I need to stop being a coward.

"Are we going to be entered this year?" Nichiren asked before taking a large bite of his slab of pork.

"It's certainly a possibility," Kakashi replied. "I might've entered you in the ones that happened a week ago but you… were all on vacation."

Oh…right. You know, I didn't hear about it. Probably not something they'd tell new Genin about if it's not being held locally and they weren't going.

"We needed that vacation," Nichiren nodded with a frown.

"No kidding," Hisako grumbled.

They brought up the house. If ever there was a time to talk about the house, it would be now. Right? Maybe it would be better until we're all alone. Maybe…I need to stop being a coward.

"Can we…talk about that, actually?" I asked hesitantly. "The house, I mean?"

"Sure," Kakashi said after a moment. "Just try to keep it quiet, alright."

"Thanks," I muttered. I grabbed the glass of water to my side and took a gulp. "So…we all saw things in the house. I saw things in the house."

"You did?" Hisako asked with a disconcerted expression.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "I... just have had problems figuring out what to say about it. All of you have noted I'm terrible at society."

"So what did you see?" Nichiren asked with a deepening frown. "What could possibly scare you?"

"…a lot," I replied quietly.

"Like what?" Hisako asked, disconcerted and a little incredulous. Or perhaps alarmed?

I couldn't answer that question right away. Inhale, exhale. Take a sip, let the cool liquid calm me down, alright.

Stop stalling. Inhale. Exhale. "Down in the basement, I got trapped in a Genjutsu, same as you. From what I saw- uh, well…"

Just don't mention Liberty Prime, the Brotherhood of Steel or anything involving Nuclear Bombs. Just don't mention any of that and we'll be golden. I mean, I'm not entirely sure how to do that, but…step at a time? Improvising's worked out pretty well.

…no, my tactics are horrible.

"The ground shook like a severe earthquake or perhaps an earth-release. Blinding light poured in from the windows," I began. I cupped my lips with my hand as I tried hard not to simply 'nope' out of this at top speed. My toes were bunching and flexing due to the anxiety. "I had to move. The stairs had collapsed in on themselves, blocking the way out. When I busted my way out, I saw that…there…wasn't a house above me anymore. You guys were dead."

"Wait," Nichiren's eyes narrowed as he thought about something. Then they widened. "Losing us was a part of your nightmare?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?" I shrugged with a frown. I held up four fingers. "I can count the number of friends I have on one hand."

Hisako was taking a drink of water, only to start choking on it. She slammed the cup down and started to cough.

 _Medicine Check Success: 30/5._

She'll be fine. Whew, okay. I was worried for a second.

"Breathe, Hisako. Breathe," Kakashi said.

Nichiren thumped her on the back a couple times and she came back up for air breathing heavily. "I'm okay. Sorry."

"It's fine," I replied. Inhale, exhale. I was gripping my chopsticks hard enough that they snapped. I laid them to the side. "Outside the house was…well. A…how do I say this? A pillar of fire reached from the ground into the clouds, smoke coming from the top. The sky had turned to ash. Nearly every house around us had been completely leveled. The wall was melting."

Just breathe. I need to breathe. Calm down. "With three of my…precious people dead, I had to find the last one. My first and best friend was out there somewhere."

I had Nichiren and Hisako's undivided attention. Kakashi-sensei's lone eye was trained on me, his arms folded in front of him. It was almost unnerving, seeing their eyes locked onto me, like they expected me to unveil some great, unexpected truth. If I wasn't careful, I might just do that on accident.

"I…found him," Inhale. Exhale. "The attack had…poisoned the air. As a result, he couldn't really move."

Don't cry. _Don't_ cry. Don't…dang it. "I held him in my arms as his flesh melted off of his bones. He…died. Effectively…I lost everyone. Everyone I truly cared about. I lost the one person that didn't turn his back on me once he didn't _have_ to deal with me anymore."

Hisako put her hand on mine. I fought with myself to remove it. I didn't want her to think we could really be a couple. But I lost that fight and I didn't move.

Breathe. Don't forget to breathe. My breath was starting to shake. "The…people responsible for the attack came from the sky and attacked. We tried to fight them off but…they had superior combat capabilities. Eventually, I realized that I was in a Genjutsu."

I let my head hang down. "You know the rest. I was targeted for capture because my bloodline, obviously because the basement monster grabbed me and ran for it. Then Kakashi-sensei pulled me out and you two killed it…saving my life in the process. I…just realized I never thanked you properly for that. Thank you."

"I really appreciate all the effort you all are putting into being on a team with me," I looked up at them. "Even if I don't show it or I don't get things for a while. I... you guys are some of the best friends I've ever had."

"The _only_ friends you've ever had apparently," Hisako was frowning deeply. She gave my hand a squeeze…I squeezed back on reflex.

"Daisuke-kun," Nichiren sounded hesitant. "I, uh, wanted to apologize."

I blinked at him. "For what?"

"For being a bad friend," Nichiren attempted to clarify. "I'm…not going to lie here. I was scared of you when we first got assigned together. You were skilled and you…didn't act normal. I wasn't sure I was…um…"

"Safe?" I supplied. It made sense, I looked like a statue and-

"No…okay yes," Nichiren shrugged defensively. "I wasn't sure how sane you were. Now…I see that you're sane, if not without communication issues."

Hisako was glaring at him. Very harshly. Considering her crush and what Ayame said about Naruto insulting Sasuke…oh, that makes sense. Well, sort of.

"It makes sense," I shrugged. "Being on the same team as a statue can be off-putting."

"I guess," Nichiren replied. "But I'm going to try harder from now on. Try to remember you have…difficulties and not be freaked out."

"Thanks," I said, not entirely sure if I could really say anything else. "I appreciate it. Really."

"Daisuke-kun," Hisako piped up. "Could you…not think of yourself as a statue? You're not one. Really."

"I look like one," I frowned.

"But you're _not_ one," Hisako insisted. "You have precious people. You care about people. _You are not a statue_. Don't think of yourself like one. Okay?"

"Okay," I nodded. I guess I can avoid remembering the haunting visage of the Bunshin staring at me back in the academy.

"Good," Hisako nodded as if she had settled some matter.

This wasn't what I expected. I didn't know what I had expected, exactly, but general acceptance? That wasn't it. Just…I keep getting surprised. It's…really heartwarming. "Thanks, guys."

"Don't worry about it," Hisako said, still holding my hand.

 _Now_ I was able to move my hand. "So, Kakashi-sensei, can I ask a favor?"

Hisako groaned in annoyance, clasping her hands together with a glare at _me_ now. It went away surprisingly quick, though.

"Sure," Kakashi said, perking up. "But it depends."

"I noticed there were a bunch of casino's in the city-"

"No."

"But Sensei-"

"No," Sensei was firmer this time. "Using jutsu to win at the games is cheating and would reflect very poorly on Konoha, who regularly supplies security for them."

"I wasn't going to cheat," I replied, raising an eyebrow. "I was just going to play it normally."

"I'd rather you not develop the habit in the first place," Kakashi explained, sitting up straight. "Gambling is a great way to lose all your money, in spite of how much you have previously earned."

"But I-"

"End of discussion," Kakashi raised his eyebrow.

"Alright," I sighed in defeat. He had a point. If I didn't know for a fact that I had the auto-win in Casino's, I'd say he had a point. Well, they'll still be here later, when I make Chunin and am not necessarily under his watchful eye all the time.

So, we were going to stay one more night here in town. We hung out as a group for the rest of the day, talking about...stuff. We went shopping, I found a book store. Civilian. We went inside and I _stopped_ myself from simply making a beeline to the fiction section. Instead, I went to the non-fiction, instructional section of books and…

 _+3 Survival._

 _+2 Medicine._

 _+2 Speech._

Thankfully, reading the books didn't destroy them like in the games. However, multiple copies of the same book didn't increase my skill multiple times. If I wanted further increase to my skills, I'd need to find new material. So… **32 Medicine** , **35 Speech** and **20 Survival**.

Yay!

I mean, they won't matter in the long run. I'd had enough points to max out everything before 45. But in the short run, it helps out quite a bit. Anyway. I checked out the fiction section after that, only took me about an hour, and I didn't find anything that really interested me.

* * *

So we went back to the motel later that night and…it was time.

I needed to shut down Hisako.

Why am I so conflicted about this? Just get in there and tell her you're not interested in a relationship. With anyone! Even if she would be the only relationship I've had for twelve years and likes me…for who I am.

But _she doesn't even know who I am_! She has no clue I'm a reincarnate from another universe. So it's more like she likes me for my personality. I guess.

Whatever.

Inhale. Exhale.

I gently knocked on her door. After a few seconds, Hisako opened the door so only her head was visible, looking surprised. "Hi."

"Hi," I said back. "Can we…talk for a minute?"

"Sure," She replied. "Give me just a second."

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

Sounded like she was getting dressed in there. I appreciated that she wasn't forward enough to _remain_ undressed for this little talk, that would've made this…awkward. After she was finished, she opened the door all the way. "Come in."

"Thanks," I said, walking inside. "So…I have a confession to make."

"Okay," Hisako replied, sounding a little unsure about the direction of this conversation. She sat on her bed. "You can sit down if you want."

"Thanks," I quickly claimed a chair as my own. I tapped my feet on the floor as I worked up the nerve to continue talking. "I heard you and Nichiren talking last night."

Hisako nearly jumped out of her skin, then froze on the spot, looking frankly terrified. "How much did you hear?"

"I heard from 'I thought Daisuke was invincible' to 'I liked him better when he was brainwashed'," I replied with a nod. "I'm sorry for eavesdropping like that."

Hisako groaned in exasperation, hiding her face in her hands. "You must think I'm a horrible person."

"No, I don't blame you," I said with a frown. "Really."

"Don't-" Hisako stopped and blinked. "You-you really mean that, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Exactly as you said it," Hisako frowned.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?" I blinked.

Hisako started to giggle and laugh. For some reason. Her face turned red and she was holding her stomach.

"I don't get it," I said.

"That's-hehehe-okay," She said with a smile. "I just figured you a little, I suppose."

"Okay," I replied. "But…I wanted to talk about what you said. About liking me in general?"

Her smile disappeared, being replaced with a look of, what is it, dread? Dread. In her eyes. "Yeah. I like you. A lot."

" _Why_?" The word was out of my mouth before I could stop it. "I'm the most socially inept person in Konoha. A fact my…premonitions…remind me of every time I screw up."

"You get reminded of how bad you are?" Hisako blinked and frowned.

I nodded.

"That…must be horrible," Hisako said.

"It is what it is," I shrugged. "But…seriously. Why?"

Hisako sighed, rubbing her temple in exasperation. "Well…it mostly has to do with you not being an arrogant jerk."

"Why would I be an arrogant jerk?" I frowned.

"You remember the Hyuuga on Gai's team, right?" Hisako asked. "Neji?"

"Yeah," I shrugged. "What about him?"

"He was an arrogant jerk," Hisako explained. "I know you don't really pay attention to people from other clans, but they tend to be…very _proud_ of their clan. The Hyuuga…and if you remember the Uchiha at all, in particular, tend to look down on the rest of us non-clan Shinobi."

"Right," I replied.

"So…I almost thought you'd be the same," Hisako said. "Especially back in the Academy, when you rolled over every opponent you had, succeeded at every test and barely payed any attention to conversations around you."

She took a breath and looked at me. When I didn't say anything, she continued.

"But you weren't. The first victory I had against you, you _congratulated_ me. Congratulated! I almost couldn't believe my ears, I thought you'd stalk off with an angry word or two but _no_."

"Well yeah," I replied, remembering it. "You beat me with a kick to the stomach. It was a remarkable display of skill and karma. I was impressed. Why wouldn't I congratulate you?"

"I don't know, pride?" Hisako shrugged. "But you did, and I…started to realize that you weren't arrogant. Just…bad at talking with people. And listening. And understanding what people mean."

"I-I get it, Hisako," I held up a hand. "Trust me, I do."

"Sorry," Her face was red. "So I tried to help you. Just hang out during Taijutsu class, talk with you. Try to help you could get better. Tried harder when we got put on a team together. I…got jealous when your bloodline let you break the rules of jutsu and hard work but you never lorded it over us. You just…did your thing while I seethed on the side."

"I didn't mean to make you envious," I said with a shrug. "I just wanted to help…especially after the house."

"Yeah," Hisako replied. "Listen…I'm really, _really_ sorry for just assuming you didn't see anything back there."

"It's okay," I replied with a shrug. "I'm sorry for not…talking about it sooner. I didn't realize how much it bothered you that I didn't say anything and I just…didn't know how to talk about it."

It was quiet for a few seconds.

"But…yeah. I like you. A lot," Hisako said, spreading her arms out. "Because you still care about us non-clans and don't consider yourself better than us. You care _a lot_. Enough to call us, _me_ , one of your precious people."

A small part of me pointed out we didn't need to shut her down and we could _probably_ go into a relationship without it getting to heated. The larger part of me, who actually understood my limitations, threw him in the closet where he belongs.

"Hisako…" I started. "I-I can't do it."

"Why?" She looked close to tears. Again. "Why can't you like me back?"

Inhale. Exhale.

"It's not that," I said. "It's not about whether or not I can like you, it's about my ability to function in a relationship. It doesn't exist."

"Look, don't worry about your lack of social skills," Hisako has an earnest look on her face. "I can learn. I learned something about you just now, which helps me a lot."

 _Speech Check Success: 35/30._

"Okay, but there's the fact that I can barely understand _you_ ," I shrugged. "A relationship…needs both people to understand each other. I. _Can't_. _Do that._ There's a physical disconnect in my _brain_ that stops me from understanding people. I have the emotional intelligence of a brick. It would be completely unfair to you, more than being on this _team_ is, if we were to get in a relationship."

"But we could work it out!" Hisako pleaded. "You said you get better with power spikes, so you wouldn't be too bad for long, right? And you said you were planning on a spike that would help your social skills in a while, so it's not like you'd be a cripple forever, right?"

Inhale.

Exhale.

She had a point. I didn't like it, but she had a point. The me in the closet was chuckling in anticipation. Plus, she was more overt about liking me while I had the bonus clothes on, so…I…

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

"Maybe," I shrugged. "But that doesn't change that I can't do it _now_. Plus, there's the fact that I don't really understand you so I don't know if I _do_ like you like that. A relationship where only one person knows they like the other just isn't healthy. I'm sorry, Hisako."

"But…but…" She was crying. Again. I'm a jerk. A giant, massive jerk. "Can we try when you think you _can_ understand me?"

 _Charisma Check Failed: 4/6._

"I don't know," I shrugged with a frown. "Maybe?"

She was looking at the floor. "I…I think I need to be alone for a while."

"Sure," I said, standing up and making my way for the door. "...Good night, Hisako."

I closed the door behind me and…oh, there was Sensei. Looking down at me with a gentle eye.

"You did the right thing, Daisuke-kun," Kakashi patted me on the shoulder.

"I don't feel like I did," My shoulders slumped. "I didn't want to hurt her feelings."

"I'll talk to her," Kakashi-sensei replied. "A relationship like that, as young as you are, is the last thing either of you need."

"Thank you Sensei," I replied somewhat robotically.

"And Daisuke-kun," Kakashi knelt to my level, both hands on my shoulders. "I promise you that you don't need to worry about your teammates getting hurt. Or me. I'm a Jounin and your Sensei and as such, I'll do everything in my power to protect them from harm."

"Thanks Sensei," I replied. "That means a lot."

"But you must also allow me to protect you," Kakashi continued. "You're my student too. If anything were to happen to you, I'd never be able to forgive myself. Okay?"

"Yes Sensei," I replied with a sniffle. "I'll…try to remember."

"Good," Kakashi said with an eye-smile.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/4._

"Something you could help me with," I started. "I've noticed that my grasp on tactics is…horrible."

"You did well in the written exams," Kakashi blinked with a raised eyebrow.

I nodded. "I did. But I've been terrible at implementing what I learned into my fights. I almost died because I couldn't really think of anything more sophisticated than 'Attack!' and it's…bothering me."

"So," Kakashi started. "You need to train battle-field tactics."

"Yeah," I blinked. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"We can certainly take care of that when we get back to the village tomorrow," Kakashi nodded with an eye-smile, standing up. "Now why don't you head off to bed. Or do whatever it was you were going to do for the night."

"Probably bed," I nodded with a frown. "I wasn't going to do anything else.

After all, I needed to sleep off the sudden onset of heartache that's clawed its way into my chest.

* * *

 _Authors Notes: Such character development. Much wow.  
_

 _Again, I'm just letting the chapter speak for itself, really. Hope you enjoyed._

 _~Fulcon_


	22. Interlude: Points of View

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck in dread. He took a breath and tried, not for the first time, to think of what his own Sensei would have done in this situation.

His student, who was quickly becoming known as The Second Professor had gone to bed. A quick check had revealed that he was _actually_ asleep. Like a rock, actually. Which was good, as Daisuke's ability to eavesdrop was surprising, given his lack of ability in infiltration.

 _This isn't my old team,_ Kakashi thought tiredly. _I don't know what to do._

He was frustrated with them. Their dynamic, from Nichiren's exasperation with both of his teammates, to Hisako's duel feelings of affection and bitterness toward Daisuke…to Daisuke. Just _everything that was Daisuke_.

But he was also proud of them. When they got ambushed, Hisako and Nichiren wasted no time in acting. Nichiren dropped a smoke bomb and went into the ground. Hisako moved under cover of smoke to kill not one, but _two_ of the enemy nin. Nichiren's skill with Ninja-wire was growing, and he managed to tie the remaining three down for Kakashi to deal with. Then he learned that Daisuke had killed an _A-rank Target in the Bingo Book_ while they were gone.

He was sure that Daisuke knew an A-rank was coming and set the battle up himself. Daisuke said that he didn't and Kakashi at least knew that Daisuke was a terrible liar. Given what they learned earlier that day; of what he saw in the house, he wouldn't have been shocked if he had manipulated circumstances to fight him, simply to protect his precious people.

Kakashi rubbed his visible eye and he could _feel_ the weight of his responsibility on his shoulders.

Daisuke was equal parts awe inspiring and terror inducing. His ability to just invent new jutsu on the fly made the Sharingan obsolete. He could, and _would_ persevere on any mission until it was complete, no matter what injuries he sustained. Then he'd be right back up the next day to do it all over again.

What would he do if his limited pool of precious people got hurt? Kakashi's gut said that he would hunt those responsible to the ends of the world. And then keep going if need be.

But knowing that still made this current situation impossible.

Hisako's duality concerning Daisuke had come to a head. Daisuke, in a…thoroughly _remarkable_ show of maturity, shut down Hisako's crush. Not because he didn't like her back, but because of his own inability to function in any kind of relationship.

That didn't change the fact that Hisako needed to be talked too. Especially since he could hear her sobs from the other side of the door.

Kakashi sighed. This mission had not been kind to her. He brought a hand up and hesitantly rapped his knuckles on the door.

A gasp in surprise, the sound of moving sheets and the door slowly opened. Hisako looked tired. Very tired and her eyes were very red. Though she stood up straight, trying to look as if nothing was wrong. "Oh. Sensei."

"Hisako-chan," Kakashi eye-smiled. "I think we need to talk."

"O-Okay," Hisako said, slowly opening the door.

Kakashi walked inside. The sheets on the bed were a mess, and there were twin damp-spots on the pillow. "So…I overheard you and Daisuke talking."

Hisako's frame deflated almost instantly. "I guessed."

"It's going to be okay," Kakashi stated.

"No," Hisako's tears threatened to start pouring again. "No it's not."

"Yes, it is," Kakashi insisted. "He didn't say he wasn't interested in you. He just said he wanted to wait until his social problems were…taken care of."

The existence of an end to Daisuke's constant social mishandlings was of great relief to both himself and the Hokage. He only mentioned it briefly, but it was easily one of the most important parts of that particular conversation.

"But he didn't say he _was_ interested in me either," Hisako grouched. "With power like his, he'll get clan heiresses throwing themselves at him and he'll forget all about me."

 _And so the duality is further explained…she's jealous in both senses of the word,_ Kakashi thought with a tired frown beneath his mask. "Well, Hisako? I hate to break it to you, but…you're both twelve."

"Yeah? So what?" Hisako folded her arms and glared at the floor. "Why does that matter, Sensei?"

"Daisuke shut you down because he's incapable of functioning in a relationship," Kakashi explained. "The thing is, he's right. Even if he didn't have social problems, he wouldn't be able to function. And neither would you."

Hisako blinked, dropped her arms. "What do you mean?"

"You're both twelve," Kakashi replied. "You're both still growing. Still learning and developing. Neither of you would really understand a relationship if you got into one. That, and if things went south _in_ that relationship, it would ruin any teamwork we have and break the team apart. I think Daisuke, as oblivious as he is, understands that part at least."

"Well…what if things don't go south?" Hisako asked with a frown.

"It's a relationship. Things always go south," Kakashi shrugged. "It's mostly a question of whether it can survive the plummet."

Hisako sat on the bed with a sigh. Tears were streaking down her face again. "Thanks, Sensei."

 _Come on, Kakashi! At least_ try _to make your cute little Genin feel better!_ Kakashi thought to himself in Minato's voice. "Well, a relationship is about putting others needs in front of your own."

"Daisuke said that too," Hisako said flatly.

"He's right," _I think_. "So the fact that he's trying to spare you from additional heartache and drama means he does care about you. A lot, actually."

"Really?" Hisako asked with a hopeful look that swiftly morphed into pessimism. "Not like I care about him, though."

"He doesn't know if he does," Kakashi replied. "He said so himself. He might like you. I don't see why he wouldn't."

Hisako started to sniff but a smile was growing on her face. "You really mean that?"

"I do," Kakashi nodded. "You were one of the first friends he ever had, have known him for years, have tried to help him conquer his biggest weakness and stuck by him the whole way."

"But when he fixes his social problems," Hisako frowned. "How do I know he won't just pick another girl?"

"Because," Kakashi started. "You stuck with him. You heard him today, how we are the only people that haven't turned our backs on him once we didn't need to be around him. Even when he's swimming in fans, he'll know who his real friends are."

 _That he brought it up that little fact in the context of the house was a little disturbing,_ Kakashi thought. _Was he expecting us to abandon him to his fate because he was bad at socializing?_

"You really think so?" Hisako asked.

"Yes. I truly do," Kakashi nodded. "Just be sure that when he _does_ fix his problems, make sure you've graduated to Chunin first? That way you're being put on different teams and things won't crash and burn."

"Thanks, Sensei," Hisako smiled, wiping her eyes clear. "I feel better."

"Good," Kakashi nodded, standing up. "Get some rest, we've got quite a trip ahead of us tomorrow."

"Yes Sensei," Hisako said. "Good night."

"Good night," Kakashi said, slowly closing the door. _I think that went well. But then, I'm not very good at talking to people myself._

* * *

The Hyuuga were, all in all, having an exciting day. On the one hand, one of their own had been kidnapped and nearly been sold to another village. On the other, this had been _stopped_ and their missing branch member had been recovered.

The method was extraordinary, and the results were spectacular.

Hiashi, in particular, was watching patiently for the seals to be removed, first from the box, then the captive. He stood in the doorway, his shadow being cast by the setting sun across the Hyuuga and Konoha Fuinjutsu experts. They were no Jiraiya of the Sannin, but their level of experience was acceptable enough.

Since their return the previous afternoon, they had been hard at work. Hyobe, the poor fool inside, was still sleeping, looking fairly malnourished and there were scars along his abdomen where shuriken had dug themselves in, but had been removed.

Hyobe had in fact been missing for nearly a month prior to yesterday. He had gone on a C-rank with a couple of his fellow Chunin to the border of Sand, only for him and his friends to end up disappeared. Since Hyobe was in this state, it was fairly safe to assume the other two were dead.

Hiashi seriously doubted that the branch member had fallen into this as a result of incompetence. They were able to capture him, treat any wounds he had, had a Fuinjutsu expert prepare a complicated prison, most likely in advance, and then ship him to Kusa for an auction which both Earth and Lightning needed to be made aware of. In advance.

This was planned. This had been planned for quite a while.

Hiashi turned to the guards stationed at the door. "The clan elders are meeting in five minutes. If they succeed in getting him out, ensure he's kept safe and that he's given proper medical care. We've barely snatched him from the jaws of our enemies, we don't want to lose him now."

"Yes Hiashi-sama," The guards, Anbu who were also Hyuuga, bowed and Hiashi turned and left them.

The moment they had learned that a Hyuuga had been discovered, captured and bound for an auction, there had almost been an uproar. The Hokage insisted that Hiashi come to Takayama, to Hiashi's immediate approval. Now that they had returned, a meeting was almost overdue.

Hiashi moved through the compound, quieter than a ghost. Branch and Main house members bowed as he passed on the way to the meeting hall. He approached the door and didn't even need to stop before it slid open. The clan elders were already inside and they all went quiet at Hiashi's entrance. He took his seat at the head. "Let us begin."

Hiashi took a breath. "Hyobe has been successfully recovered. He was captured and was going to be auctioned to either Earth or Lightning before his rescue. Efforts to release him from his prison are ongoing but he will be released. The Hokage is currently leading an inquiry into the warehouse and will provide us with the opportunity to execute Morita Seiho, the mastermind of this plot."

Everyone was quiet, but Hiashi could tell that each of them approved. It was in their faces, the way their noses and mouths twitched. Their eyes, typical of Hyuuga, were very still.

"Hiashi-sama," Yasutoki, an elder whose hair had long since greyed. "Do we know how the branch member was captured?"

"Not at this time," Hiashi answered. "Yasutoki-san, I'm afraid we will have to wait until Hyobe has been released and properly treated. However, due to the circumstances of his captivity, I am convinced that this has been planned for a long time. Longer than he was in captivity, at least."

"This Morita Seiho was a corporate liaison to Konoha?" Toin was another elder. Younger than most, his face was still wrinkled, contrasting with his pitch-black hair. "The Village appears to have failed in its analysis of those we do business with."

"I have ensured that the Hokage knows the displeasure of the Clan in no uncertain terms during our journey to Takayama," Hiashi replied. "Nonetheless, the branch member has been recovered and we can lodge an official complaint when he returns following his investigation. He has promised to deliver Morita to us for punishment and after that, I move that we consider the matter satisfactorily dealt with."

There were nods of assent. There was nothing else to debate; should the Hokage fail to deliver his promise of retribution to those who wronged the Hyuuga, then the matter would be reopened. As it stood, there was very little to actually talk about. Well, except for one little thing.

"Hiashi-sama," Yasutoki began. "How did the Hokage find the branch member?"

Hiashi resisted the urge to sigh. "I'm assuming everyone is aware of Shimoda Daisuke?"

"The Genin who defeated one of our more skilled branch members with nothing but Taijutsu," Toin replied with a sniff of disdain. "Apparently can invent jutsu from whole cloth, has perfect chakra control and can heal from any injury with sleep. Does he have a connection?"

"This doesn't leave the room," Hiashi ordered. When he received their unanimous assent, he continued. "I was informed that Shimoda's bloodline extends to some form of premonition. He knew there was something to find and found it…and killed A-Rank homeless nin Mori Kazu to defend it."

The room was silent.

Then there was the uproar.

Hiashi had a headache. He didn't reach up and massage his temples as they debated the news that a Genin had done what almost none had done before, no matter how much he might have wanted to do so. As it stood, he did wish that his wife was still alive to vent his misery to later.

Eventually, he had enough and spiked the room with _just_ enough killing intent to get everyone's attention. And make the younger members break out in a sliver of cold sweat, though there wasn't much Hiashi could do about that.

"Naturally, we must do what we can to both repay his valor and make him an ally of the Hyuuga clan," Hiashi stated, eyes narrowing. "Before you start, the Hokage implicitly reminded all of us that he's only twelve. From what I've heard tale of, he is the most socially incompetent human being to grace Konoha. So traditional methods of wooing and gifting will most likely be lost on him."

"Then how do we ally him?" Kichi, another elder, her eyes shut and her white hair done up in twin buns. "If the significance of social gestures is lost on him and gifting will not work, what do we do? What does he value?"

"That I do not know," Hiashi replied, the same question having been irking him in the back of his mind. "But in order to ally him, we must find what that is and give it to him."

There was a silence as the Elder's all attempted to figure out a solution to the problem.

"Money won't work, he undoubtedly still has some from the 'House' fiasco," Yasutoki frowned. "Have we learned anything else about that debacle?"

"No and I will not tolerate baseless rumors," Hiashi glared at the Elder. "As was previously stated, we will be cautious and examine Konoha more closely for possible danger and root out other infiltration efforts. But we will avoid baseless speculation until more concrete details are available."

The house had scared _everyone_ old enough to know about it. The investigation, which had full support from each clan had been extraordinarily extensive – and turned up almost nothing. The house, the monster that apparently resided in its basement, it's owner's _shinobi training_ , had apparently appeared out of nowhere.

Each clan had started circling the wagons a little bit. It was only through the Hokage's leadership and _actual transparency_ during the investigation that prevented paranoia from engulfing the village and splitting it into a million pieces. It helped that the Shinobi had apparently used techniques no other clan possessed, leaving no obvious targets to lay the blame.

The transparency, checked by the Hyuuga agents throughout Konoha's bureaucracy and assuredly checked by the other clans, was rare in this world. That it was appreciated was putting it lightly.

"I am sorry, Hiashi-sama," Yasutoki bowed in his seat. "I did not mean to solicit false rumors."

"You are forgiven, Yasutoki-san," Hiashi gave him a curt nod. "Now, we need to find what Daisuke values and reward him with it. We will instruct Neji, since he has met him before, to find out what this is and try to make it possible for him to find out. We will have the ear of the Hokage more than usual due to Hyobe's kidnapping for the near future, I do not want to waste it."

The elder's agreed with this plan of action, nodding with various degrees of deference. After that, the docket was cleared and then was Hiashi's favorite part of any meeting.

"Dismissed," Hiashi said, standing up and striding through the door first, as was his right as clan leader.

He walked through the clan holding, like a ghost and…there was his daughter, Hinata. Her head was down, looking at the floor, looking more depressed than usual with each passing day. He wished, beyond all else, that she would grow some form of backbone. As it stood, it was aggravating to see his eldest daughter afraid of her own shadow, not to mention utterly depressing.

A thought, just a little crazy but plausible enough to be explored, crossed his mind just a second after he called her name. "Hinata."

She nearly jumped out of her skin at the address. She gulped and turned to face Hiashi with a low bow. "Yes, Father?"

"Have you met Shimoda Daisuke before?" Hiashi asked.

Hinata looked perturbed. "Yes. Once."

Hiashi barely withheld his smile that the hunch he had proved correct. "I see. What do you know about him?"

She started to stammer and push her fingers together.

"I told you not to do that," Hiashi raised his eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, Father," Her hands became glued to her sides. "I…I know that he's friends with Uzumaki Naruto."

Hiashi nearly blinked. "Friends with…Uzumaki."

"Y-yes Father," She confirmed with a nod.

"I see," Hiashi replied with a frown. "That's interesting. Do you know why?"

"I think they both were raised in the same orphanage?" Hinata frowned, her hands twitching to come forward to do the finger-pointing-thing.

Hiashi could tell this bundle of nerves was going to melt as soon as he walked out of eye-sight, and it saddened him. But the information was quite valuable. "I see. Thank you, Hinata."

That stopped her short. "Y-your welcome, Father?"

But he had already walked past her, her gratitude registering peripherally in his mind because the rest of it was busy.

In the mind of Hyuuga Hiashi, a plan was starting to form.

* * *

Sarutobi Hiruzen settled into his chair, both creaking and groaning as he relaxed. The investigation of the warehouse itself had been…fruitful. There were several boxes of weapons which were illegal to ship by order of the Daimyo, each sent by Seiho. The manager of the warehouse was a complete suck-up, wanting to go further in the company and proved to be a valuable accomplice.

Someone so spineless was easy to scare and they got all the information he could provide. Apparently Seiho, the dirty wretch, had been smuggling weapons and things to the enemies of Konoha for years. Seiho's superiors will be quick to distance themselves from him simply because it would hurt their own prospects, undoubtedly. All that remained was to send the appropriate messages to the Daimyo and to Seiho's immediate superior and wait for the response.

Hiruzen quickly loaded his pipe with the strongest tobacco he could and carefully lit it, taking several puffs and enjoying the flavor in his mouth. Now the other thing that was on his mind.

Daisuke.

His... _valor_ and tenacity was starting to scare his sensei and his team. At the rate he tackled impossible problems, it would not be long before he ran at someone that made Itachi look like an absolute ameture with the attitude 'I can take him' for the sole purpose of getting stronger.

The idea of giving him missions to invent jutsu for the village had crossed his mind and, from what Kakashi told him about the accuracy of power spikes and how he gets closer to them, it was getting really, really tempting to do so. Keep him out of danger and away from things that he would run out and accidentally suicide on.

Especially since it would get him closer to solving his social problems, if Daisuke's reported belief of a spike that would fix his social... _problems_ was accurate. Given his premonitions, it probably was. And if the improvement made his social skills mirror his taijutsu skills, he'd be an incredible leader.

Which meant that he might just have a worthy successor after all, if he was willing.

Now he just needed to do _everything in his power_ to keep Danzo as _far away from him_ as possible.

He had suspected Danzo had something to do with the house. That it was connected to Root's old tunnel network set off alarm bells in Hiruzen's head and they were loud. So he had the tunnel network scoured. But no one found anything. A few hidden passages that had been emptied out, looking as if nothing had been there for years. Danzo himself has never mysteriously disappeared where ANBU couldn't track him. The perfect picture of innocence.

This did absolutely nothing to dispel the ill feeling in his gut whenever he thought about it. In fact, it was starting to get worse, though that might have been the paranoia shinobi were famous for.

Hiruzen sighed and got to work at those letters. He called in his secretary and she took them to send by messenger hawk. With that done, he stood.

There was nothing to be done without evidence – Konoha, as much as he hated it sometimes, ran on everyone trusting each other. Arresting someone without evidence ran in contrary to this philosophy and this particular person had a lot of things he could tell the other clans in a 'mutually assured destruction' manner.

That Hiruzen had let Danzo off for the massacre with only the loss of his position would not go over well with the clans.

With a grunt, he stood up. He needed something to take his mind off of his troubles, he had thought about them enough over the past few weeks. He checked the time.

 _…Young Naruto should be out of class,_ Hiruzen thought to himself, heading into his private chambers. _I wonder if he's getting ramen from Ichiraku's…_

In his private chambers was a single table with a crystal ball. Only Hiruzen himself knew how to work it and he could spy on _anyone_ within the village walls with it. He taught his previous successor how to work it but…he ended up with the hat again after the 10th of October.

He channeled his chakra into the ball and…yes, Naruto was getting ramen from the stand.

Naruto was another young one who made him happy. The Fourth's Legacy, Hokage in the making…Hiruzen was sure he'd see great things from him one day. Possibly greater than his friend, who was already making tidal waves in the community.

Hiruzen made it quick to Ichiraku Ramen, moving almost too fast for any to see him until he arrived at the stand's entrance. He moved under the flaps and…there was Naruto. Sitting at his usual spot.

"Hey, Old man!" Naruto greeted him with a wave.

"Naruto-kun," Hiruzen smiled. "I see that you're doing well."

"Oh yeah," Naruto nodded. "I was just making plans for an awesome prank! I mean uh…um, well uh…"

Hiruzen was fighting a smile that was going over his face. And failing. "Naruto, what have I said about pranks?"

Naruto slumped. "Don't do them?"

"That's right," Hiruzen nodded. "So that plan you've cooked up will be going where?"

"Saving it for enemy shinobi when I become Hokage?" Naruto asked hopefully.

Hiruzen laughed, hard, clutching his stomach. "Oh, I needed that. Sure, Naruto. You can pull pranks on the enemy when you become Hokage."

"Awesome!" Naruto gave a thumbs up.

"Hokage-sama," Ichiraku Teuchi gave a polite bow, which Ayame mirrored when she saw the village leader. "I apologize; I didn't hear you come in."

"That's quite alright," Hiruzen replied good naturedly. "I'll take the miso-ebi combination with extra noodles, but less broth."

"Coming right up Hokage-sama," Teuchi bowed again and both he and his daughter hurriedly busied themselves filling this important order.

Hiruzen took a seat next to his surrogate grandson. "So, how has the Academy been?"

"It's been getting a little better," Naruto shrugged. "Iruka-sensei's been tutoring me on and off. I'm…trying to get someone else to help tutor me more regularly, but it's a little soon to ask."

"Who might this be?" Hiruzen asked.

Naruto's face went just the lightest shade of pink. "Uh…j-just a someone whose really smart."

"I see," Hiruzen adopted a grin that wouldn't be out of place on a fox. "Is this someone whose really smart a girl?"

"Old man Hokage!" Naruto shouted with his hands on his head. "Not you too!"

"What? I'm just curious," Hiruzen chuckled. Then he mock sniffled. "My little Naruto-kun…oh, they grow up so fast!"

"Old Maaaaaan," Naruto whined.

Hiruzen laughed as Ayame placed a bowl of ramen in front of him. "Here's your ramen, Hokage-sama. Please enjoy!"

"Thank you, Ayame," Hiruzen nodded, grabbing the complementary chopsticks. "You and your father make the best ramen."

Ayame bowed. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"But my real question is, Naruto," Hokage stirred the bowl in front of him. "Why don't you ask Daisuke? I understand you two are close."

Naruto blinked and looked back at his ramen. "Well…uh…I don't know. Isn't he like this superstar shinobi, now?"

"He's been making a few waves, yes," Hiruzen nodded, amused with himself at the understatement. "But that doesn't mean you can't ask him for help."

"Well yeah," Naruto grumbled. "But I don't want to. He didn't need any help to get where he is, how am I going to be Hokage if I can't do the same?"

Hiruzen blinked. "Daisuke also has a bloodline that helps him at basically everything Ninja-related. Comparing yourself to him isn't doing you any favors."

"…yeah, I guess," Naruto stirred his ramen and slurped up a clump of noodles.

"Naruto, what's wrong?" Hiruzen frowned.

"Old man, be honest with me," Naruto looked up at him. "Do I really have a chance at becoming Hokage?"

"Of course you do," Hiruzen quickly replied. "I know you'll become Hokage someday."

" _Someday_ ," Naruto repeated, sounding depressed "Like 'after Daisuke kicks the bucket', someday?"

Hiruzen blinked and frowned.

"I mean, the Hokage has to be the strongest ninja in the village right?" Naruto asked, frowning. "Who do I got to be stronger than in order to become Hokage?"

"...most likely Daisuke," Hiruzen answered, not liking where this was going. "That's not impossible, Naruto."

"I know it's not impossible," Naruto replied, loudly proclaiming his optimism. "I'll train super hard, become stronger than him and become Hokage!"

"Glad to hear it," Hiruzen smiled, glad to know that this was still the same old Naruto.

"But that doesn't mean I need his help to do it," Naruto grumbled, slurping up some more noodles. "No matter how many haunted houses he clears out."

"…what?" Hiruzen blinked.

"Yeah, people are saying that he single handedly cleared out a haunted house and killed a giant monster," Naruto replied. "The stories get more ridiculous every time I hear it."

"Naruto, he didn't kill a giant monster," Hiruzen replied. It was technically true; his teammates were the ones who killed monster. "And he had an elite Jounin Sensei with him, so I wouldn't credit everything to him simply because he has a bloodline."

"An elite Sensei, huh?" Naruto said, looking thoughtful.

"One of our best," Hiruzen nodded. "You might meet him some day."

"That would…explain a lot," Naruto shrugged. Then he sighed in resignation. "Alright, fine. I'll ask him for help."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it," Hiruzen smiled down at the orange-clad blonde. "The Will of Fire means that we are all family. Even as you turn to Daisuke for help, you will eventually be able to help him."

"You really mean that?" Naruto asked, looking unsure.

"Of course," Hiruzen replied with a nod. "No one can go without help forever. Not even me."

* * *

Nichiren watched as the Hokage stepped outside of a ramen stand, talking with an animate, Uzumaki, who bounced around with an orange jumpsuit on. Nichiren raised his eyebrow at that; his parents never wanted him to be around the kid, even if he couldn't understand why. Well, until Naruto spray-painted graffiti all over their stores front door. Made it look like a giant mouth that would eat anyone that entered. At that point, the blonde in the orange jumpsuit was simply a little irritating.

But, the Hokage dined at that ramen stand so it had to be good, right? He was a little hungry. So he entered the stand. Inside was a bar, numerous types of ramen were cooking on the other side. He took a seat in front of the bar, it was just a stool.

A girl, several years older than him with long brown hair and pretty black eyes came out of the back and smiled. "Welcome to Ichiraku Ramen, can I take your order?"

"Yeah, uh…can I just have a bowl of Miso?" Nichiren asked, hand moving unconsciously to push glasses that fit snugly back onto his face.

"Sure," She smiled. "That'll be 50 ryo."

Completing an S-rank had its advantages. He handed her the correct sum. "Thanks. I'm Nakamura Nichiren. What's your name?"

"I'm Ichiraku Ayame," Ayame replied. "My dad owns the stand. I'll be right back with your order, okay?"

"Alright, thanks," Nichiren nodded. His stomach grumbled and…okay, he was more than a little hungry and the smells of ramen wafting in the air made his mouth water.

Several minutes later, Ayame came back with the bowl. "Here you go, enjoy."

"Thanks," Nichiren grabbed a pair of sticks. "Itadakimasu."

Yes, the ramen was good. Really good. In fact, it may have been the best ramen he ever had. His taste buds and stomach were thanking him profusely.

In less than five minutes, he sighed in satisfaction and closed his eyes, leaning on his fist with his elbow propped up on the bar.

 _I can't believe we had another dangerous mission like that,_ He thought with a frown. _You'd think I'd have until Chunin to get thrown into the wringer like that._

"Something wrong?" Ayame asked, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh, no. The ramen was delicious," Nichiren replied with a smile. "Thank you, Ayame-san."

"I'm glad to hear it," Ayame returned the smile. "But if you don't mind me asking…is something bothering you?"

Nichiren blinked. "Not…really. I just got back from a mission is all. It was a little harder than I'd like."

"Ah," She nodded. "I won't ask questions about it, then. Classified, right?"

"I don't think so?" Nichiren replied. "But it's better to be safe, I guess."

Ayame shrugged and started stirring a pot behind the counter, a thoughtful look on her face. "Wait…what cell are you on?"

"Cell 13," Nichiren shrugged. "Why?"

"Taught by Hatake Kakashi?" Ayame frowned.

"Yeah," Nichiren frowned. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Shimoda Daisuke eats here some times," Ayame replied. "I wasn't sure I'd get the chance to meet one of his teammates."

Nichiren groaned.

"Sorry," She frowned. "I didn't know it was such a sore point."

"It's okay," Nichiren frowned. "And it's not. Not really. I…he's just the source of a couple headaches."

"How so?" She asked. The reached over to turn a burner down and stir a couple pots with both hands.

"Uh…" Nichiren blinked.

"I'm listening, don't worry," Ayame replied, looking at him to reinforce the point.

"Well…I haven't been the best friend to him," Nichiren replied with a frown. "He's...not very good at talking to people?"

"I've figured that out," Ayame nodded. "He shared a story how he messed up someone trying to apologize to him with a friend."

Nichiren's head tilted. "Who's this friend?"

"Uzumaki Naruto," Ayame replied. "They're really good friends. Came from the same orphanage."

Nichiren gave her a wide-eyed stare. "Uzumaki Naruto is friends with Daisuke?"

"Yeah," Ayame shrugged. "Is that really so shocking?"

"I…I guess not, if they came from the same orphanage," Nichiren replied, still a little stunned. "I just wasn't expecting it. Daisuke's brilliant and weird and Naruto's…loud and a little bit of a trouble maker."

Nichiren missed the way Ayame's eye twitched in irritation. "He's a good person if you get to know him. Both of them are."

"Well, I know Daisuke's a good guy," Nichiren replied with a shrug. "Maybe I should give Naruto a chance at some point."  
"You should," Ayame smiled, hiding her exasperation. "But you were saying something about him not being good at talking to people?"

"Well…I don't know," Nichiren shrugged. "I just have a really hard time understanding him, is all."

Ayame hummed, and moved to another pot, turning up the burner on the stove. A light taste, and she added some powder that Nichiren didn't see the name of. "Well, what do you know about him?"

"Well, now I know he's friends with Naruto," Nichiren recounted. "I know he can recover from any injury with sleep, invent brand new jutsu on the fly-"

"No, no, not what he can do," Ayame clarified. "What do you know about _him_? As a person?"

"I know he feels emotions, even if he's can't really show it," Nichiren shrugged. "So he's human, at least. He can count the number of friends he has on one hand…hmmm…"

"Why don't you keep thinking about it," Ayame said with a raised eyebrow. "I need to go to the back for some more noodles, be right back."

 _Is she trying to be some sort of councilor?_ Nichiren thought with a frown. _She does have a point, though. What do I know about Daisuke? Beyond that he thinks of me as one of his precious people, and is fairly protective of us, not much._

Ayame came back with a batch of freshly pressed noodles. Nichiren figured that her father, who owned the stand, was making them in the back. She slid them into one of the pots and put the lid on it.

"…I know that Daisuke considers his team…and Naruto, apparently, his precious people," Nichiren offered after a few minutes. "And that he's willing to go to impossible lengths to protect us."

"That's a start," Ayame nodded. "Anything else?"

Nichiren thought for a moment. "I know that he loves to read fiction. He avoids perverted books, though."

"Good on him," Ayame nodded with a smile. "So you know he cares about you, a lot, and that he loves to read."

"And that he's an orphan…and will randomly do things to try and make things easier for people," Nichiren continued, remembering the super-henge he wore. "So I know that he's not a jerk, but that's still not a lot."

"You'll just need to spend more time around him," Ayame replied, turning the burner up on a stove. "I also know that he's very generous, if that helps at all."

"He's generous," Nichiren repeated. "That's true, he did offer to teach us jutsu…I think this is painting a picture of a good person whose…kind of desperate for friends."

"There you go," Ayame smiled wide. "On the surface, you got a guy who doesn't show much in the way of emotion. Underneath that is someone whose starved for friendship and cares very deeply for the ones he has."

Nichiren blinked. "How do you know so much?"

"Oh, we've been getting a lot of people since the Hokage started dining here on occasion," Ayame answered, sniffing one of the pots she was stirring. "Our elders are always talking about some drama going on in their lives. I've been listening to stories and gossip for years…especially when a Yamanaka gets involved – they usually tend to solve drama pretty quickly when they do."

"Really," Nichiren blinked. "So, you just listen to people's problems and how they solve them?"

"Pretty much," Ayame replied with a grin. "I also ask them questions when I can. I can learn a lot if someone is in a talkative enough mood."

"Huh," Nichiren frowned. "I guess you can go pretty far if you listen well enough, huh?"

"Yup," Ayame, placing both hands on the counter. "So back to your problem."

"What about it?" Nichiren asked. "I think we've figured out I just need to spend more time with him, right?"

"Sure, sure. But it's always nice to have a goal," Ayame nodded with a thoughtful frown. "And what's that phrase I hear from Shinobi from time to time? 'Look beneath the underneath'?"

"That's it, yeah," Nichiren replied. "What does that have to do with Daisuke?"

"Well, first you have a guy who isn't good at communicating, then underneath that is someone who is a pretty good person but is starved for friends," Ayame started, listing off her fingers. Then she pointed out her third finger. "So what's underneath _that_?"

Nichiren frowned, thinking to himself. He sat up straight, took off his glasses and checked if they were clear before sliding them back on. Looking her straight in the eyes, he said, "That is an excellent question."

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Ah, another interlude. I think after this I was starting to become stretched, trying to do more than I was necessarily capable of doing. The fallout from this chapter, I think should've been explored a bit more in subsequent chapters, but I skipped straight ahead by months to the start of the next Arc, which, I guess, was important enough but I could've used some time.  
_

 _As always, though, I hope you enjoyed it._

 _~Fulcon_


	23. The storm before thecalm?

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _+19,200 EXP._

The past couple of months have more or less proven that I should never assume that people are dumb simply because they don't understand all the same concepts that I do.

After my latest S-Rank disaster, we were given a week's furlough. At the end of that, the Hokage came to me and asked if I would be interested in D-ranks that had me invent Jutsu for general village use. Naturally I accepted and wound up creating a long, _long_ line of jutsu for general use. Something to pad out Konoha's Shinobi library and give wider training tools to everyone.

The Hokage rightly figured out that since inventing jutsu and completing missions got me closer and closer to my beloved level ups (or 'power spikes'), I might as well use this incredible talent I have to benefit both the village and Konoha.

So, I've been figuring out Jutsu's and how to make 'alternate-element equivalents' for those with opposing elements. Alongside the normal D-ranks, I was getting stronger really, really fast. Well, at least compared to normal, where it kind of just putters along.

Basically…

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 _Level up!_

Level 15.

92 Total skill points, spread between a truly spacious set of skills. **24** points into **Genjutsu** , bringing it up to **60** just in time for **One-Handed-Jutsu** next level. **33** points into **Sneak** , bringing it up to a palpable **50** in preparation for **Ninja** at level 20. **Fuinjutsu** got 19 points sunk into it, bringing it up to **72** because why not? **Melee Weapons** , another preparation for the **Ninja** perk, was brought up **13** points, bringing it up to **51**. Finally, there's speech, which I raised by **3** points, bringing it up to **36**.

For feats, I picked _Toughness_ , which reduced all damage I took by another 10%, making 40% overall when you included my gear. Then I picked Tattooed Armory, which increased the effects of seals buffing equipment by 15%.

You know, at first I was confused by that perks name, I thought it would have to do with tattooing myself to give myself weapons, but it has to do with giving my gear tattoos in the form of seals to make them more effective, so it balanced out.

What was I going to do with all the money that was being showered over me?

Well, I had thought to answer that question by going shopping. I stopped by a normal civilian store for trinkets and odds and ends just to browse, when I caught sight of something that stopped me dead in my tracks.

 _+1 Charisma._

 _150 Ryo._

It was an amulet. A wood carved spiral, hanging from a string. Trivial to buy. Tempting in all its promises. Social competence, the ability to see and navigate the various social problems that encompass me from day to day.

I pulled the trinket closer with my fingers, feeling the string pass over my fingers, looking at the wood, obviously high quality, gleam in the light. The notice of the charisma bonus floating in my eyes.

But there was a reason I didn't buy it and I knew it, plain as day.

The simple question: Can I say no?

My excuse for keeping out of a relationship with a twelve-year-old girl hinged on me not being able to function in a relationship. But that problem could be reasonably well handled by purchasing this freaking amulet right here.

At which point, what's stopping me _from_ entering into this relationship with a twelve-year-old? For all intents and purposes, I was twelve. I mean, no I wasn't, I was over thirty-five, but no one actually _knew_ that.

I was also approaching puberty. So was she. That _meant_ things. Physical changes as my body grew into something that wanted a mate and so would Hisako's in this hypothetical relationship. I was lonely in my previous life, an issue that's compounded itself heavily since I came here. There was a pretty good chance that I was mentally unstable and that wouldn't go away with a bonus.

Could I resist the opportunity to get intimate with a minor, in my circumstances? Someone who was twenty-five years my mental junior?

Probably not.

But I've shut the door on the relationship, so what's stopping me, really?

Well first, the fact that this was Konoha, home to Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino and the rest of Sasuke's fangirls. Girls who threw themselves at him, hoping and trying to become his girlfriend at all costs. The low charisma might not have stopped Hisako's crush on me developing for _some_ reason, but given how few females interact with me by _choice_ , I'd say it's working like a charm for the rest of them.

I mean, it sounds like heaven, getting women coming up to me and flirting with me and knowing what to say to…properly reciprocate. To initiate, even. I wonder how many times a girls flirted with me but I was completely oblivious to it? I don't have a clue.

But that's why I can't get a charisma bonus.

I'm physically twelve, so if I go after a woman my intellectual age, they'd look like a hebephiliac. If I go after a girl my age, I'd _be_ a hebephiliac; it doesn't feel like my physical age matters in that sense, really. Plus, the things that I'd inevitably want to do in that relationship…I doubt I could wait like that…no. Unacceptable odds.

I'll have to wait for the perk.

I let the trinket fall back on its hook and left the store.

The clouds above us were dissipating. This was good, it had been raining for the past several days non-stop. No flooding, thank goodness. Enough shinobi knew water-jutsu to prevent that problem. But you could still smell the rain in the air. Personally, I loved the smell. Always brought to mind a lake with a gazebo lit by moonlight for some reason.

But I digress.

I was definitely feeling some ramen, though. Not because I was hungry, I was just craving a bowl of ramen. Which meant that it was time to pay a visit to Ichiraku Ramen, and I was there in almost no time at all.

Ah, cool! Their special included chicken! Which meant I was grabbing that as fast as I could.

Well, assuming anyone here was at the stand. Eh, they were probably in the back. I could wait.

I parked on one of the stools and took out my little black book. Since I personally didn't like Genjutsu, my choice of late level perk 'Genjutsu Enthusiast' struck me as sort of weird. I'm not satisfied with it. No point in making a person believing they were being burned alive by having a sun thrown in their face when I could just throw a sun in their face.

So what could I do that would actually be high level? Aquaboy would be fun, I guess. Kind of pointless since I can probably be assured that a water-breathing jutsu would be in my future. Ghoulish? It was always my head cannon that Ghoulish merely paved the way for full on Ghoul-hood later on in life, unless you continued to pump new life into your cells. My method of choice was always Solar Powered.

…but seriously, what's Ghoulish even doing here as a thing? Radiation was never a thing in Naruto, as I recall. Is this just so we can have something more explicitly from Fallout? Like besides the Genjutsu from the house? Yeah, no thank you.

'Sides, in spite of my prudish nature, I _do_ want to have a family someday and Ghouls are sterile.

Anyway. Nuclear Anomaly is right out – I work for Konoha; I might end up killing my teammates by almost dying. Even if it was solo, depending on the circumstances, I might accidentally kill a bunch of innocent civilians. Even ignoring the moral no-no's of such a thing, it's bad for business by killing a bunch of potential clients.

I'll have to come back to it. There's something I've been meaning to do but I've been putting off.

I flipped over to the back, in the notes section of my notebook. Written there were a few notes and paragraphs in English, detailing a couple of important details – specifically what little I could recall about Danzo and Kabuto; important stuff. At least stuff I considered relevant to me. There was also a brief note about Gaara of the Desert, who I remembered as prime target for Naruto's therapy-no-jutsu. The note said 'in case of Chunin exams – plan for him'. I had an idea for an ever-expanding seal network that would expunge Shukaku's chakra from the sand around us, stopping Gaara from using it.

But other than that, there wasn't much to write down. Canon was dead. Utterly and absolutely. Most of any of my future knowledge was completely useless, and this was coming from a person who never watched Shippuden. Perhaps I should have, but how was I supposed to know an anime that stopped being interesting would prove pivotal to my survival?

Then there was the other stuff. The 'not Naruto' stuff. I'd been putting off writing that stuff down. But thinking too hard about my other life just made me depressed. All the things I'd never see again – well, except for Fallout. That was basically my life right now.

But that just made it worse, in a way. I could never really sink into the idea that my previous life never…happened. Every skill notification, pass or fail, was a nice, solid reminder that I used to be something else before a Shinobi for Konohagakure.

Sometimes I wish I could just forget. It'd be a lot easier if I could forget.

So I closed my notebook with a sigh, failing once again to write anything down.

"Oh, Daisuke!" I looked up and saw Ayame, having come out of the back with a large pot of ramen grasped in both hands. "I'm sorry, how long have you been sitting there?"

"It's alright," I shrugged. "Just been here a few minutes."

"Well then," Ayame slid the pot into place with a grunt. "Can I take your order?"

"Can I get the special?" I asked with a smile.

You know, I've always wondered if my smile looked more like H.P Lovecraft's 'attempt' at a smile. Might be good to investigate, actually.

"Sure," Ayame replied with a decidedly genuine smile. "That'll be 55 ryo."

I handed over exact change and she simply dished me up a bowl out of the pot she just carried to the front.

The wafts of chicken greeted my nose and made my mouth water. I wasted no time at all separating my chopsticks and digging right in.

"So," Ayame said, stirring the pots. "How are things?"

"Okay I guess," I shrugged.

"Anything wrong?" Ayame asked with a sympathetic smile.

I placed my hand on my notebook and started tapping it. "Just…some painful memories is all."

"Anything you want to talk about?" Ayame asked, stopping her work to look at me.

"Not right now," I shrugged.

"Alright," Ayame shrugged, and went back to work.

As far as I know, my notebooks never been stolen. Or whatever cosmic power that bound the book to my stats also prevented it from being stolen for whatever reason. Or maybe it was and it just comes back to me whenever I reach for it, which was decidedly often.

I hadn't been hauled off to T&I, so it's not like writing in a foreign language is going to get me in trouble. I just…it hurts to remember. Even if I want to keep all the important bits. Like my religion, various works of original fiction and an accurately detailed summary of Superman: The Movie. But…

"So, I met one of your teammates," Ayame said, catching my attention. "Nakamura Nichiren, right?"

"Yeah, he's one of my teammates," I nodded. "You met him?"

"He's come in for ramen a couple of times," Ayame replied. "Great conversationalist."

"Oh. Cool," I said. Alright, so he's come in for ramen a couple of times. That's cool. My world's getting interconnected. Actually, that's not cool. I like keeping things nice and separated. Compartmentalized. Like not letting your food touch while you're eating. It bothers me when stuff like this happens! Uh…am I supposed to say something here? "What do you talk about?"

She shrugged. "Mostly just helping him deal with some anxiety he has."

"How much of that is my fault?" I asked flatly.

"What do you mean?" She asked with a smile.

"I know he's scared of me," I replied. "Even if he seems to be getting better about hiding it, I freak him out."

"Oh. Well, it is learning how to socialize with you," She admitted, turning a burner down. "He really wants to be a better friend to you, so I've been trying to help him."

I blinked. I…guess I could get behind that. "Thanks?"

Ayame blinked and frowned. "Something wrong?"

"I'm just confused why…you help people," I replied. Then my eyes went wide. "Not that that's a bad thing! I just…yeah. Sorry."

"It's okay," Ayame shrugged. "As for why I help people, well…when you look at the average shinobi, what do you see?"

"I see a screwed up bundle of nerves, quirks, eccentricities and insanity wrapped up in a weapon of mass destruction," I replied with a raised eyebrow. "Myself included."

"Weapon of mass destruction," Ayame repeated with a musing smile. "I like that term. Anyway, yeah. So if left alone, what usually happens to them?"

"They break," I said, tilting my head as I thought about the issue.

"Exactly," Ayame nodded, stirring a pot of noodles. "I started to see this happen after the Hokage started coming to the stand to chat with Naruto. Shinobi would come in, they'd talk and I'd listen. I'd learned to see the warning signs. Some of the time, it got resolved with a happy ending. Other times…it ended in tragedy. Most of the time, though? Nothing happens until they die in the line of fire…not that that'll happen to you, Daisuke."

I shrugged. "I could see that. Our line of work makes opening up…difficult. But our loyalty keeps us from snapping completely."

"That's remarkably perceptive of you," Ayame blinked.

"I'm not completely socially blind. Just mostly," I replied. My crappy charisma is scaling, after all. Besides, I was mostly talking about myself. I don't know what I would've done without Naruto in my early years.

"Huh. Good to know," Ayame nodded. "But yeah. If I can help someone work through their issues without going insane…I consider that my duty to the village."

"So that includes helping my teammate associate with his socially challenged teammate?" I asked with a frown.

"Yup!" Ayame smiled.

"Ayame!" Teuchi's voice came from the back. "I've got more noodles prepared!"

"Coming!" She called back. Then she turned to me. "I'll be _right_ back!"

I shrugged. "I'll be here."

She went into the back and quickly came back with an armful of noodles, sliding them into an empty pot and beginning to add ingredients and spices with calculated precision. "So…how can I help _you_ , Daisuke?"

"You can't," I said flatly.

Ayame shrugged with a frown. "Suit yourself. Do you want another bowl?"

"Maybe in a minute," I said with a frown of my own.

I went back to tapping on my notebook with a frown.

Teuchi came out from the back with a final armful of noodles, sliding them into a large pot. "You've been served, Daisuke?"

"I have, thank you, Teuchi-san," I nodded with a smile, raising the bowl I ate out of. "Trying to decide if I want another bowl."

"Ah, well," He smiled wide. "Can I recommend our special today?"

"I had it, actually," I nodded. "It was delicious. Thank you."

"Good to hear," Teuchi nodded. "Be sure to holler if want anything."

"I will," I replied.

He and Ayame started talking on the far side of the bar away from me. I didn't pay attention to what they said, I was lost in thought.

Ayame was trying to be Konoha's therapist. She…if her advice for Naruto was any consideration, was good at what she did. She helped people and was _good_ at it. She listened to people. That meant she knew things about the shinobi in the village.

If you wanted to destroy a shinobi, you kidnap his therapist.

So, that meant that I was going to need to… _ensure_ that Ayame was safe, happy and healthy at all times. Or else we lose someone who was rapidly turning out to be quite important to the social infrastructure of the village. Shouldn't be too hard, just need to make sure she's protected when the canon Chunin exams roll around.

But I was getting curious.

Ayame wasn't a therapist in the canon series. At least not that I could see. How did this come about?

How do I ask? She's talking with her father and I'd rather not have him as an eavesdropper. Hmmm…

I waited for a half an hour. Eventually, Teuchi went into the back, I'm assuming to get more ingredients. "Hey, Ayame?"

She came back. "Yes, Daisuke? You want another bowl?"

"I…you know what, yes. The special again, please," I replied, handing her 55 ryo. "But I also wanted to know…"

"Hmmm?" She tilted her head toward me as she refilled my bowl.

"What made you decide to…help people like you do?" I asked.

"Oh," Ayame said. "Well, I think it was because of Naruto."

That made sense. Naruto made a lot of things happen. But I want details. "How so?"

"Well, he's been coming to the stand for years," Ayame said. "One day, he came in and was really upset because a friend of his ended up in the hospital. I listened to him, calmed him down and told him things will be okay. He left looking a little better."

She shrugged. "I felt pretty good about what I did and…started doing it more often."

Oh. Well, alright then…wait.

That was _me!_

But…right, I guess I'm the source of a majority of the butterflies. Still, though! That's…wow. I didn't think I was creating _that_ many butterflies. Except for the monster house. And I guess the Organ Trail. And Hisako and Nichiren being Kakashi's first students.

…I'm more influential than I thought.

I finished my bowl. "Thank you, it was delicious."

"No problem," Ayame smiled again. "Are you taking off?"

"Yeah, I got some stuff to do," I replied with a frown. "…keep doing what you're doing. You're helping."

"I will," She replied with a smile. "And if you ever need to talk…I'll be here."

"Thanks," I said before bolting out with a Shunshin.

That was…encouraging. At least a sign of things getting better. Naruto was master of therapy-no-jutsu by force, Ayame was more methodical about it. This can only be a good thing. Right?

Right!

Nichiren's seeing Ayame is a good thing. Probably why he's been more…amiable in recent weeks. Kind of nice, and Hisako's…well, she's been surprisingly civil as well. I kind of expected her to be kind of cold, but surprisingly, no. Part of me wonders what happened when Kakashi-sensei spoke with her, another part of me just plain doesn't care as long as we're still friends.

* * *

I was waiting for my team at the gates of the academy.

It was time for another D-rank and…I actually was getting a little sick of them.

On one hand, they were a safe and relatively constant supply of EXP thus assuring me a steady source of power. On the other hand, they were boring. Like extraordinarily. I mean, sure the Organ Trail and Upon a Midnight Darkly almost killed me, but I slept both of those off and they were actually pretty fun.

But it's been months. Months! Since we had anything really adrenaline-pumping. Anything really dangerous.

But, now that I'm complaining about it, things are probably going to kick into high gear because I've both gained a load of levels, it's been months, and fate has a reaction to being complained about in the manner I have, even if it's only in my own head.

Crap.

Now I'm going to be on the lookout.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/2._

Nothing out of the ordinary here.

You know what I've always found odd?

That we haven't cracked flying yet.

I mean, we have chakra and hand-seals. Chakra rips apart the laws of physics on a regular basis, flying should be kind of a simple nut to crack. I wonder if I can walk on air like I can walk on water? I mean, air's a substance with mass just like everything else. Probably just take greater control and maybe more chakra. But I've got the control…maybe something to check on when I've got some free time?

Certainly not in plain view of the village. Flying under your own power wasn't _seen_ in the elemental countries. At least not in the Leaf.

If not an 'Air-walk' jutsu, perhaps a regular jutsu. Wind jutsu, contrary to my opinions on how it should act, primarily shoved objects away from the user without actually affecting the user at all. At high volumes, wind chakra actually acted like a storm of razor blades – it wasn't physically consistent, it was a quirk of wind chakra. It was also _annoying_.

Lightning chakra, if I could harness it correctly in a way I don't know how to do yet, might offer a solution. Or at very least an incredible power-up.

You know, it's kind of funny. The only chakra that actually out and out involves moving things was Earth-chakra, which was what you used when you wanted to throw rocks and stones at things until they died.

…wait.

I wonder if you could apply that same power to people? You know, I might be able too. At least, I don't know of any reason why I wouldn't be able to. Sweet! I'll put that on the project docket. You know, for later.

When I'm done with the mission and stuff.

Oh, and need some other Jutsu too. Like, I want to be able to make a storm-cloud like a moveable area of affect attack. Might need water-chakra for that as well, now that I think about it, but it should be doable. And also a-what's that smell?

The barest hints of something…rotten had wormed their way into my nostrils. Like the most disease ridden beast had finally had the good graces to die but didn't have enough strength to do it in an area that didn't have people living nearby.

It smelled absolutely disgusting and I would _hate_ to have to go see what it was. Just… _no_.

 _Quest Added: What's in the water_?

 _Go investigate that foul stench._

I HATE YOU GAME!

I…JUST…fine. _Fine_.

The things I do for a little bit of EXP.

I entered the gate and went into the academy, following the scent with great reluctance. It stayed on the ground floor, which meant that I didn't have to go far. It lead me to an open classroom and… _yikes_.

The classroom's _floor_ had been completely opened, descending into a mess of pipes that had been wrenched open, all over a larger pipe that had similarly opened. I marveled at how I failed to hear _this_ action, but remembered that each classroom was actually somewhat sound-proofed to prevent the sounds of exploding clones and messed up Henges from disrupting lessons in other classes. That and…you know, Jutsu.

Inside were academy students, none of whom I recognized, cowering under their desks or in the corners of the room with wide, frightened eyes. And pinned to the wall with a large spear, made of what appeared to be a discarded pipe and stones was… _Iruka._

Oh no.

Don't tell me…

I sped over to him, kneeling to assess his condition.

 _Medicine Check Failure: 32/50._

It was beyond me. His chest had been savaged open by claws. He was sweating profusely and blood was leaking out of his stomach and the gashes that decorated his torso. I can almost guarantee that some kind of infection was going to set in but I didn't know if it had started yet. I thought about removing the spear, but that might make him bleed to death.

"Iruka," I said. "It's me, Daisuke. Naruto's friend? What happened?"

 _Charisma Check Failure_ : _4/4_.

Thank you, scaling.

Even so, he barely even registered my presence. "…Naruto? Naruto's gone…they're all gone."

 _No…_

"Couldn't protect them," He was mumbling sounded crazed and desperate, like he was experiencing a nightmare that he just couldn't wake from. "…couldn't…sorry…"

Welp.

Naruto appears to have been kidnapped on this latest quest of mine. Him and who knows who else. Since I didn't recognize any of the other students in the room, the list of kidnapped probably included _the entire rookie Nine_.

Which meant that I needed to act as fast as possible.

 _Perception Check Success:_ 8/5.

Apparently a lot of different people noticed the stench. The room was getting rushed, they'd be able to help Iruka a lot better than I could. That freed me up to start the search for Naruto and his friends.

 _Quest Updated: What's in the water?_

 _Completed: Investigate that Foul Stench._

 _Save Naruto._

 _(Optional): Save the Rookie Nine._

This wasn't quite how I intended introductions to go. I'd have preferred something simple. Like be introduced as Naruto's friend, or even as a proctor for the Chunin exams. But hey, rescuing them from certain death and dismemberment worked too.

I pulled my goggles over my eyes, thankful once again that I had bought them and jumped into the larger pipe. Inside was just a small trickle of water, running down straight ahead and down a steep incline.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/7._

A small, thin stain of blood on the wall, most likely from a cut open hand or arm, pointed the way down the pipe the way I was facing.

I remembered the first time I ever met Naruto. After I had already set my Charisma to 1, he asked if he could play with me. I had no friends at the time, so…it meant everything in the world to me at the time. Still does.

He's my brother in all but blood.

 _I'm coming, buddy._

With that silent declaration, I dove down the pipe. Something, or a lot of somethings, were going to _die_.

* * *

Author's Note: _I think this is one of the definitive arcs in this fanfic. It's one of my fanfics and except for maybe a few missing details at the end, 'What's in the Water?' remains one of my favorites. Hope you enjoyed it._

 _~Fulcon_


	24. Sewer Monsters

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Down, down into the depths I went. The trickle of sewer water continued to run down the pipe beneath my feet which were thankfully kept dry by my wonderful boots. Cleaning the crap out of my boot-treads was going to be a pain later, but it was better than it being in my socks and toes. The only thing stopping me from simply travelling on the roof of the pipe was that sewer levels tended to become labyrinths and I didn't want to risk getting disoriented.

The stench had only gotten worse as I traversed down the pipe. Like a dying corpse had a pile of corpses even further decomposed dumped on top of it. But hey, it was a sewer so it's not like I was expecting else aside from the sudden hope that I would stop needing to breathe.

One could dream.

Soon, however, I found a section of pipe that had clearly been torn open, bits of scrap sticking out from the sides with casual abandon. It was too dark to see, but a swift application of my flashlight jutsu made quick work of that. The opening let out into a large atrium, the walls made of stone. The sewage leaked from the pipe and off the small overlook the entrance lead right off too, which was about a twenty-foot drop to the ground. A small river of sewage ran through a rut in the ground and down the two tunnel entrances on either side.

My trail was obvious enough, a single-file line of moisture that had yet to even think of evaporate. Its consistency suggested they were travelling single file, and had something or somethings dragging behind them, almost like they used a large paint-brush to mark the trail behind them. Doubt it was Naruto or the rookie nine being dragged behind them, they wouldn't have been this wet from how empty the pipe was – plus there were no blood stains on the ground, which would've happened if they were being dragged with reckless abandon, thank goodness.

The attackers swam through the sewage and didn't even attempt to disguise the smell after leaving behind at most a couple dozen witnesses. It's almost like they wanted to get followed.

…The best part about having a trap set for you? Springing it.

I followed the trail down the left tunnel, where the river of sewage was heading, while keeping a sharp eye out. I doubt they could've gone far and I didn't want to miss them or any important details…hello, what's this?

The trail had broken into a large 'splat' of similar trails, thick enough to be barely distinguished. Some sort of struggle had taken place here and...

 _Perception Check Success: 8/7._

I noticed a small, silver canister with dark seal-work scrawled on it, severely damaged and discarded in the corner of a shadow besides one of the support arches that held the tunnel up.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success 72:70._

The kanji and symbols were immaculately well prepared, layering over themselves in an organized fashion – each symbol would tell you what it was meant to do and the seals underneath that, I presume, would be how the device actually worked. The function was incredible, broadcasting an aura that sealed away all sound within an area, preventing it from leaving a small dome while also hiding the occupant's chakra signatures. The only thing that would have made it better would be a network to hide you from visible sight, but no such functionality was present. It certainly explained how the kidnappers were able to rip right into the academy with no-one the wiser.

It went _right_ into my storage scroll, it's functionality completely nonexistent and thus safe to transport like this. Ogling it will come later.

The trail continued down the tunnel until we came to an end. There was a wall, with the sewage going straight through a grate that had been ripped open. It had been that way for a while, from the looks of it. On right side, across the river was a door that I desperately wished the trail had even the slightest hint of being where the trail lead.

But no. The trail, naturally, led into the river of disgusting muck.

I cringed, and had a great deal of sympathy for Naruto and the Rookie Nine, who most assuredly didn't have what I was about to do to see them through this disgusting journey.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 72/55._

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 72/50._

 _+600_

Keeping things _out_ while only allowing certain things in was well within the boundaries of sealing, thankfully. The first seal went over my exposed face, filtering oxygen and air from the water I was about to go diving in. The second one just straight kept the water out of my clothes and _away from me!_

You know – priorities. I'll share it with them when I find them. Or will I? It does take chakra to maintain, after all – more than my henge. Accidentally killing them with chakra exhaustion would be very bad.

I dropped into the river and was immediately carried away by the current. It was barely visible through the muck and boy was I grateful for my goggles and for Fuinjutsu in general. If it wasn't for them, I'd be stuck with armor I'd have to replace or forever stink of urine and excrement.

The river let out into another atrium, very similar to the first. With a jump from the river-bed, I stuck to the ceiling and cast my light down into the atrium, looking for a trail. I didn't find anything and re-submerged myself not a second later.

Afterwards, the tunnel took several turns in differing directions, arching downward and picking up speed. Soon, however, the tunnel opened up and I arrived at a smaller way-station, with a stair-case leading out of the water. Clearly the trail went up it. There was a stone doorframe with its metal hinges bent and warped; it's door had been ripped out and I imagined it was somewhere further down the pipe.

I was fast to get out of the water and watch the trail go through what looked to be a maintenance station for the pipes, checking the pressures and making sure that nothing ended up broken. The trail let out further, into a room with another large pipe. This one was intact, and the trail moved around it and through a doorframe.

…ooh, okay then. Right into Konoha's secret tunnel network. I'm getting increasingly worried – whoever I'm chasing seems to have an intimate knowledge of Konoha's bowls. It could be Root, but I seriously doubt it since this is, strategically, the most idiotic thing they could have ever done. Have we had enemy shinobi infiltrating the village for a while now? Where was Root, sweeping these guys under the rug since this was their job if I understand it correctly?

The door itself had been violently torn from its hinges and thrown to the side – I guess stealth was now being sacrificed in the name of expediency – and outside, directly across from me was a wall. To the left was a dead end and to the right was a large corridor going forward and back with no discernable exit. I was concerned because the trail went right across from me and into the dead end.

I groaned in frustration. Secret passage. Fantastic.

All right, let's take a look.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

Bam. I found a brick which the mortar around it appeared to have partially crumbled away, but it remained in place by whatever mechanism it was attached to. I pressed it and the entire section of brick fell in and slid out of the way. Nice.

The wall had given itself away to a small room. Shelves and counters lined the walls, shelves clearly empty and cupboards bearing the signs of having been looted a long time ago. From what I could tell, there were numerous scalpels, forceps and other surgical equipment had been scattered across the floor. A medical bed, the type I had graced during my stays in the hospital, was laying on its side, presenting clearly it's bloodstained mattress. Mounted above the counter was a small tube with a capsule to be slid inside.

This was one of Orochimaru's old labs. I did _not_ like where this was going.

There was also a hole in the wall, giving way for another torn open sewer-pipe. From the journey thus far, it didn't feel like the trail was leading out of the sewers, but deeper into the maze of pipes and passages that I didn't realize went this far down.

Small clinic – meant entirely for autopsies and hurried examinations of test subjects. Collected samples to be moved to other labs for deeper study via the tube which I assume works by vacuum, like the bank tubes of my old world. Interesting.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/7._

I went up to the pipe, and noticed a streak of blood on the inside, slowly dripping down to the ground, going right once again. I jumped in and started sliding into the pipe.

Thankfully, I brought a med-kit. Someone's been swimming in sewage with an open wound and it was going to need cleaning and they were going to need hospitalization as fast as possible. Badly.

I slid down the pipe, going down and turning several times before the pipe let out in a river of sludge, similar to the first one that I just came from. A trail, this one _much_ fresher than the one above, let out of the river and broke off into forks. Oddly, the one on the right, the one that broke off, simply stopped before sharply joining the main trail.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

The river had a small bridge connecting either side together. Stuck on the corner, just peeking above the water was a small…dog nose.

I crouched down and reached into the water, pulling what turned out to be a small white puppy out of the water, it's coat stained and smeared by the contents of the river. This was Akamaru, Kiba's little puppy. I laid him on the stone and made several hand-signs.

 _+75 EXP._

5,470 more until level 16.

Akamaru's fur was instantly dried off and cleaned, his fur now warm to the touch. His breathing was slow and starting to level out.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/4._

 _Medicine Check Success: 32/25._

Two red pricks on his rear revealed he had been injected with something, most likely some sort of paralytic and thrown into the river. Hypothermia hadn't yet set in, but he was unconscious.

Interesting. I wonder _why_ they didn't just _kill_ Akamaru instead of paralyzing him and throwing him into a river of excrement? To aggravate Kiba?

Regardless, obviously the dose wasn't powerful enough since he was able to swim into that little nook and keep his nose above ground, assuming he wasn't just insanely lucky. Well, about as lucky as me at any rate.

The puppy was going to be fine. Now I just need to find his master.

I took off down the tunnel, which ramped down and turned. Twice. I had to be getting close, the trail had started to break off into several branches, moving in the same direction like a mob. It had to mean _something_ at least.

Down the ramp and a _final_ left turn, I found them.

…well, son of a gun.

So, the rookie nine were there, struggling against ropes that had them tied up like sushi rolls. Standing over them were…. _fish-men._ They had thick scales covering their bodies. Their hands were webbed and long, with sharp claws at the end. Their heads were some sick combination of humanity and angler-fish with sharp and crooked teeth and bulbs growing out of their heads. Dragging on the ground behind them were tails that strongly reminded me of tadpoles. Some were holding tridents and spears made from rusted pipes glued together with what I assume to be an organic adhesive.

But...if this turns out to be something that only happened to give me EXP, I am going to _kill_ something. Well, I'm going to kill a bunch of somethings _anyway_ but you know what I mean! I mean, _seriously._

One of them was holding a canister similar to the one that I picked up earlier, which meant it definitely explained _how_ they snuck into the academy. Money's on Orochimaru's experiments if this wasn't just my luck stat messing with reality. They held their captives like duffle bags. I could see that Naruto was shouting something that them that I couldn't hear, and Kiba was thrashing like a madman…mad- _dog_ , I should say, to get at them and…heh, Shino had been covered in mosquito netting.

 _Stealth Check Success: 54/45._

They basically didn't hear me coming. Well, that just won't do. If I don't miss my mark from what I saw of the trail, if something comes by they would swarm it with greater numbers. Since I didn't physically look all that different from their captives, they might try using the same tactics and rush _me,_ leaving their captives behind.

I mock coughed loud enough for them to hear and turn around.

Naruto's face lit up in recognition as he turned to face me, looking equal parts relieved and concerned. Then the fish-men each dropped their captives like I expected and started charging me. I blocked a trident with one of my palms and threw a kick back into one of the beast's throat, laying a couple punches on the freak of nature around me.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

Well, they were all around me now, and away from the nine. Time to actually get serious and reduce them to bloody stains on the wall.

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

I chuckled as the last of the red, bloody giblets hit the floor. "Hilarious. They pop like balloons."

First things first, I zoomed over to Naruto, smashing the canister on my way and untied him – didn't know how to turn it off and I needed the Hyuuga to find us as fast as possible – the canister hid chakra signatures, after all.

"Daisuke," Naruto seemed a little shocked as I stood him up.

He was unhurt, which freed me up to wrap my arms around him in a bear hug. "I'm so glad you're unharmed."

"That was incredible!" Naruto shouted for joy. "They surrounded you then-then they just _exploded!_ "

"I have that effect on things that piss me off," I replied good-naturedly before I let him go and handed him a kunai. "Let's get your friends untied so we can go back up the way we came."

"Got it!" Naruto replied, taking the kunai and got to work untying Sakura.

"Not that I'm complaining about the rescue," Shikamaru started from his position on the ground, looking bored and irritated. The hair slick with sewage completed the image of someone who simply never cared once in his life. "But it'd be nice to know who our rescuer is."

"Oh!" Naruto said with a smile. "This is Shimoda Daisuke, my best friend!"

"Hi," I gave a small wave as I got to work untying my rescues.

Everyone, _including_ Sakura and Sasuke got wide eyes at the introduction. My reputation precedes me, I guess.

Shino was actually first here and I cut through the mosquito-wrap quickly. I was surprised that it was made of the same mesh-wire that made up most Shinobi under-armor, but it made sense.

"I am most grateful," Shino said, slowly sitting up and breathing heavily. "Why? Because I didn't want to get eaten by those things."

"Don't mention it," I replied.

"Thank you so much!" Sakura sobbed, slowly sitting up with tears in her eyes as Naruto made his way to Kiba. "I thought we were dead."

"My pleasure," I replied, cutting Sasuke loose.

Sasuke stood up without a word, a frown on his face as he surveyed his surroundings. Okay, that works I guess.

"Did you see Akamaru?" Kiba asked, sounding desperate and distraught. "Is he alive? He's got white fur with brown spots. He's just a puppy and they-!"

"Yeah, he's still alive," I interrupted. "Luckiest puppy I ever saw, survived by getting wedged by the bridge against the current and holding his nose above the water. I pulled him out a few minutes before I came around to you. I think he'll be fine, just needs to catch his breath."

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" His face lit up in joy as he hurriedly tried to stand up before his limbs failed him. I imagine they'd be sore, with all the struggling against his binds.

"Don't worry about it," I frowned. "Seriously, you guys can thank me we we're back on the surface. Also, who's been going around with an open wound?"

"Oh! Ino got hurt when they grabbed us," Sakura said, gesturing to her friend who Naruto was just cutting free. Yeah, the blonde had a nasty gash on her arm and I did _not_ want to think about the stuff that was getting in there.

"Alright well," I replied, grabbing my first aid kit. "She's been swimming in sewage with an open wound. It's going to need cleaning and a bandage before we leave and then possible hospitalization to treat infection and disease."

 _Medicine Check Success: 32/15._

Naruto cut Ino free, who was able to sit up.

"J-just be fast, okay?" She offered her arm with the gash and I kneeled down, popping the first-aid kit open and splashed some disinfectant on a cotton ball. She hissed in pain and tried to hold back a startled cry, but the wound was clean in seconds and I broke out a bandage and tied it around her arm.

"Hold this for me?" I asked, keeping the bandage tight with my fingers.

"Yeah," She held it herself while I went through several hand seals.

 _+75 EXP_.

4,795 more to go.

The seal went across the bandage. "You can let go. That'll keep the gash dry and more importantly, away from the sewage."

"Thank you," Ino said with a small nod, finding the strength to stand up. "Let's get out of here."

"Quick question," I interjected. "How many of you know the tree-walking technique?"

Hinata, Ino, Kiba and Chouji raised their hands.

"Tree-walking technique?" Naruto asked with a confused look on his face.

"Tree-walking," I walked backwards up the wall to demonstrate. "Don't worry if you don't know it, it just means we'll need to find an alternate way out."

"Woah that's awesome!" Naruto looked agape as I came back down.

"It's the tip of the iceberg," I replied with a shrug. "But it'll take all day to learn and we don't have time. I doubt these creatures were alone down here, so we need to move now."

"How're we going to get back the way we came if we can't tree-walk?" Sakura asked with a worried frown.

"We'll figure it out," I replied. "At worst we'll just have to find another way there. Let's go, come on."

I ushered them forward. They were slowly able to start moving close to something like normal, which was good – being tied up like that is going to have an effect on their muscles and I'm particularly worried about Ino; that cut on her arm could cause her to get seriously ill and possibly render her immobile.

Thankfully, I was allowed to think as I watched the 9 walk up past the ramp. I spared one last look at the hallway, it turning down once more, before I followed them, keeping my eye on them.

The walls and floor shook violently, causing the nine in front of me to flinch and look around in terror.

"It's fine everyone," I tried to be reassuring. "Don't worry…that's probably ANBU using earth jutsu."

 _Charisma Check Failure: 4/5._

"You sure about that?" Chouji asked, his voice cracking with fear.

"Guys, don't worry. You saw how fast those things got reduced to paste!" Naruto piped in. "Seriously, we're going to be fine."

With that, everyone seemed to calm down just a bit. He sounded really convincing, actually.

Thank you, Naruto.

Now for my first question: what _are_ these things? Where did they come from and why were they kidnapping such high-profile targets? Money's on Orochimaru experiments, though if that's true, I've got nothing for why on the kidnapping; kidnapping _these particular targets_ brings the entire military might of Konohagakure onto one place: _their heads._ They do not want this since they would have been living down here for years if they were an experiment.

Unless they're an experiment from _outside Konoha?_ Then how would they have such an incredible knowledge of the sewer systems? Every opening they made was calculated for maximum expediency – they knew _exactly_ where they were going.

…I don't think this is ROOT's MO at all, though Raven-head from the house might suggest butterflies. Though that would be odd. Root, I thought, was a black ops group that primarily recruited orphans – their strength was in their anonymity. So…this wasn't them.

Granted, I'm assuming there's sanity at the top and this being Konoha and in the bigger picture, _Naruto_ , that might be a naïve assumption indeed.

We turned up the ramp twice and at the ramp, I shouldn't have been surprised, but there was my team, looking wet, miserable and _ready to kill something_. I was so proud of them. My happiness was only slightly jarred by the sound of a puppy barking and running up to an overjoyed Kiba.

Hisako shook the slimy bangs that framed her face away and looked at me. "There you are! I see you found them."

"Darn straight I did," I replied. I took a breath and delivered the bad news. "Guess what? This time it's fish people."

"You're kidding," Hisako frowned, folding her arms, holding her kunai tightly in each hand.

"Nope," I nodded. "They got nabbed by about twelve of them. They're smears on the wall now, but I was surprised. By the way, how'd you find me?"

"A slug trail and a couple blood spatters," Kakashi-sensei interjected. "Speaking of which, whose injured?"

"Yamanaka Ino," I replied. "The wounds been cleaned and bandaged and she's mobile, but she'll need immediate hospitalization after this."

"Good work, Daisuke-kun," Kakashi nodded, then he motioned to address the group at large. "Alright listen up. The Hokage is about the flood the entire sewer system with ANBU and every available Jounin to search the place. Our job right now to return to the surface and allow ANBU to do its mission. Daisuke said there were fish people?"

There were nods.

"Big giant fangs!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Long sharp claws," Ino whimpered, wiping her brow with her arm warmer.

…she good?

 _Medicine Check Success: 32/25._

She good for now, though her condition was starting to deteriorate. Which was not good.

"Well, ANBU's coming to exterminate them," Kakashi said, _trying_ to sound rousing, but not quite entirely able to separate himself from the casual aloofness he usually portrayed. "So our job is to get each of you up to the surface as fast as possible and out of the crossfire. Am I understood?"

There was a chorus of 'yes Jounin-Sensei!' from the academy students.

"Good. Nichiren-kun will lead the way, please follow him to the best of your ability. Those who know tree-climbing will be helping those that don't," Kakashi ordered. "Move out."

"You heard Kakashi-sensei, everyone," Nichiren gestured for everyone to follow him. "Follow me. If anyone starts feeling sick, let us know immediately."

Kakashi was by my side in an instant. "So, the Hokage might chew you out later, Daisuke-kun?"

"Was he that mad, sensei?" I asked with a frown.

"Oh, when he heard you had already gone after them he nearly had conniptions," Kakashi eye-smiled. "On the record, I read you the riot act. You understand?"

"Yes, sensei," I nodded.

" _Off_ the record, though?" Kakashi patted me on the head. " _Good job. Very good job._ I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you, Sensei," I smiled, grateful for the praise.

Hisako came up to me as we all started walking. "So…Uzumaki's your other friend, huh?"

"Yup," I nodded.

"Huh," Hisako said. "I wouldn't have guessed. Not that that's a bad thing, or anything. Promise."

"Thanks, I guess?" I said, unsure of what to feel.

 _Quest Updated: What's in the Water?_

 _Evacuate the Sewers._

...so we're not out of the woods yet. Joy of joys. Well, at least I've got my whole team with me this time – it'll be a lot easier to protect them all with so much extra man power. Nichiren with his wire and smoke, Hisako with her Genjutsu and kunai, Kakashi with his… _Kakashi_. We were alright.

There was a door built into the wall on my left that opened with a loud _squawk._ I tensed up, expecting another fight when…out came Rock Lee?

What?

Lee looked about as confused as I felt, which got was mirrored by Neji and Tenten as they stepped out from behind him. Then Maito Gai, looking the most confused out of all of them.

"…Gai?" Kakashi blinked. "What…are you doing here?"

Gai blinked, his eyes getting more worried as he surveyed and dirty and battered academy students. "My team and I were doing a D-rank mission where we were cleaning sewer pipes when one of the hallways collapsed and lead us here. Neji said he saw his cousin down in the sewers and so we came to investigate. What…what's going on, Kakashi-san?"

"There was an attempted kidnapping of nearly every clan heir in Konoha," Kakashi sounded tired again. "It's been thwarted, but the Hokage is going to send every available Jounin into the sewers to clear out all hostile forces and we need to get the heirs back to the surface."

I blinked.

Everyone was here.

The Konoha 12+ were all here. For Cell 9, this was a mission gone horribly wrong. For the _Rookie_ 9, this was the worst day of their lives. For Cell 13…

"You know, I thought we were due for one of these," I thought out loud.

"One of what, Daisuke?" Naruto asked with a frown.

"An obscenely dangerous mission," I replied with a frown. "I mean, it's been months since our C-rank, so…I've actually been getting kind of antsy."

"Yeah, me too," Nichiren admitted.

"Same," Hisako nodded. "What's that weird feeling between boredom and nervousness? That's what I felt."

"Can we not have this conversation now?" Kakashi asked with a half-lidded eye. "Seriously, in front of the academy students?"

"Sorry Sensei," We all apologized at once.

"Yosh!" Lee shouted, coming up to us and striking a triumphant pose. "No matter how difficult this mission has become, we will complete it with the power of our youth!"

…Actually, I've… I've just discovered a commonality between me and my teammates. This is something to be celebrated! I'm buying everyone cake when we get out of this! I'll throw a party. Just the team or should I try to invite Naruto too, since neither of my team seems to have a problem with him? That'd be awesome.

Though the fact that we were all here meant that bad things were about to go down. Like… _bad_.

My fears started to come true when the ground shook beneath my feet, like a severe earthquake. The far wall, where we were going so as to retrace our steps, had boulders fall in front of it, filling from the floor to the ceiling above. Thank goodness I had explosions for fists, because if not, I think we'd be trapped – any earth jutsu would take _a lot_ of chakra and would wipe out Sensei in a very hostile environment.

"Oh come on!" Kiba shouted.

"This is a serious problem," Neji remarked, his gaze getting colder by the second.

"You think?" Naruto shouted.

"You have another plan, right?" Sakura was starting to sound panicked. "Right?"

"Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered. "Whatever. This is a network of pipes and stations, right? There's undoubtedly another way around."

"That's a good point," Hisako nodded. "See? No need to panic."

"If we see any more of those fish-monsters, I want first crack at them," Sasuke snarled.

"You're joking, right?" Nichiren asked with a small smile that quickly faded. "You're not joking."

"The answer is no," Kakashi stated. "When you graduate the academy and get put on a team, then you'll have all the enemies you can throw a kunai at, but until then, you aren't picking any fights. Am I understood?"

Sasuke glared at him, but turned his head away with a frustrated pout.

"Good," Kakashi said with an exasperated sigh. "Gai, how's the tunnel that collapsed on your end? Can we use it?"

"Nope," Gai replied. "The ceiling sealed itself behind us and I couldn't budge it. But fear not! We will find another way!"

We're getting railroaded. It's the only way I can explain it…. I didn't think Murphy could read minds, but I guess he can. I guess my 10 Luck's 'Get out of Murphy Free' card was one-use only. Great, now I feel bad. Well, worse.

 _Perception Check Failed: Success not possible._

 _-180 hp._

 _You are now paralyzed._

My head fell down and saw three pronged hooks having stabbed themselves though my chest and the barbs dug in painfully as the trident yanked me back into the river of muck.

"Daisuke!" I heard Hisako scream at the top of her lungs before my ears were clogged with sewer water.

I was pulled with a current, my legs and arms trailing behind me like streamers. I saw two masses of air-bubbles plunge into the water and saw Kakashi and Gai both swimming toward me at top speed, but unable to catch up to something perfectly suited for underwater travel.

After a brief decline, the pipe opened up and that's when the two Jounin sensei's got _swarmed_ , the fish men coming in like piranha to fight and attack, but I quickly lost sight of them as the water got dimmer and darker the further away from light I was.

The sharp tug of the trident was my only company as I was dragged into the abyss.

* * *

 _Authors Notes: Around this time I realized just how risky what I was trying to do was. It turned out alright, but it was still kind of on the side of WTF.  
_

 _Now, there seems to be some misunderstanding regarding the system I'm using, so I'll clarify. I'm using the SPECIAL system from the Fallout games, specifically games 1 through New Vegas. As a result, I can't really make much in the way of changes or edits, nor do I wish too. One reviewer thought that perhaps I could spend skill points to increase Charisma, but it doesn't work that way. Charisma is a_ stat _, not a skill, and thus can only be upped by a perk or an item being worn. Or used._

 _There are only 13 skills, no more, no less. We went over those skills in chapter 2 and that's_ it _. I'm also using a Level cap because the Fallout games had a level cap. A point of irritation with the Gamer Manwah is that it was clearly written by someone who never played, or understood, RPG's. Skills are available at the start to allow for maximum character and back-story opportunities, while in the Manwah they're discovered as they go, never mind how mind-bendingly stupid that is and that's not even getting into the lack of level cap. All RPG's have level caps, especially Computer RPG's which until recently, couldn't generate new monsters to accommodate the absurdly high levels._

 _Hope that clarifies things a bit. Hope you enjoyed, and catch you on the flip-side._

 _~Fulcon_


	25. Long Division

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"We're surrounded!"

At Neji's declaration, the fish monsters Daisuke had reported started to emerge from the shadows on the wall, their lures providing illumination of their snarling faces in the darkened room before they rushed for the group.

When Daisuke had gotten pulled under, their main source of light, his 'flash-light jutsu' had gone with him. The lights above barely provided any illumination, just enough to ghost rough edges of the terrain and leave the shadows as the dominant force.

"Guard the students," Hisako barked, given her sensei's absence. "Form a perimeter. Nichiren, no smoke bombs."

"Got it!" Nichiren nodded as he hurriedly lined the perimeter with chakra infused wire.

Neji, per his duty, placed himself in front of Hinata. Two monsters rushed him with spears. He deftly pushed one to the side and ducked under the other, hitting one in the chest and the other in the throat, causing both to drop to the ground with gurgling death rattles.

Several more ended up tripping on Nichiren's wire. Tenten, being the observant Kunoichi she was, pelted each target with kunai right through each of their throats with unerring accuracy.

Lee was keeping them away with bone crushing kicks, snapping their spears and closing their windpipes. They would snap and bite at the Genin, who would avoid these attacks by the skin of his teeth. With his knuckle extended, he plunged his fist into the eye of one of his attackers, popping its eye and making it scream in pain.

Hisako brought a kunai down through the head of one of her attackers, but got jumped by two others, their jaws closing on her neck, torso and legs and her body went completely limp. Then her body disappeared and her two attackers found their throats had been sliced open by Hisako, who was standing above them with a snarl.

Sakura watched that display with wide eyes, her skin as pale as a sheet.

Tenten, kunai at the ready, only hesitated for a moment when one of her attackers stood up entirely straight with its fingers in a rat seal before throwing a kunai into its throat and it collapsed. Shikamaru inhaled and stretched out his shadow once again to repeat the process.

" _Kanton:_ _Gōkakyū no Jutsu!_ " Sasuke called, inhaling and releasing a large fire-ball straight from his mouth which rapidly flew over to a clump of the attacking fish-men.

The fish-men, seeing the fireball clearly in the darkened atrium, quickly and neatly sidestepped the flaming projectile on their rush toward the group.

All fighting stopped at the sound of a scream. A feral sound, born of rage and anger coming from a swirling pillar of orange chakra from the center of the group that filled the room with a feeling of dread. Naruto, his eyes having become slit, his hands having grown claws at the end and his teeth growing into fangs, surged forward on all fours.

The aquatic attackers, at the sight of this orange chakra, turned tail and ran for their points of entry, small tunnels of water, created with jutsu. Naruto _succeeded_ in running down one of the attackers and promptly began to claw open it's intestines.

"Uh…" Hisako blinked, able to keep the feeling of dread in check.

"That's unexpected," Nichiren nodded, similarly deadened to scary things. "Not really a bad thing, he made the fish-men run off."

"We still need to calm him down," Hisako replied. "We can't look for Daisuke while one of the students has gone berserk."

Naruto, upon seeing that the fish-man was dead, made to jump into the river of sludge, only to get dive-tackled by both Kakashi and Gai, who both struggled to hold the crazed blonde down as he struggled to get free.

"Uzumaki," Kakashi said levelly. "You need to calm down."

"I'll kill them! They killed Daisuke I'll KILL THEM!" Naruto roared, the orange chakra getting thicker.

"They didn't…eh…," Kakashi strained over the bucking and thrashing blonde. "They didn't kill him. He's _a lot_ more durable than any Genin I've ever met."

"No kidding," Hisako called out. "Seriously, getting stabbed like that isn't the worst thing that's happened to him."

"This one time," Nichiren added loudly. "He fought an A-rank and got blown to bits. He was fine a couple hours later. Seriously, getting stabbed like that doesn't even come close to what's he's already been through."

"That's a _lie_ ," Sasuke seethed, his eyes a very curious shade of red. "

"You didn't see Daisuke after he got through that fight," Hisako rounded on him. "Seriously, we thought he was dead at first."

"Like I'm going to buy that?" Sasuke was getting louder. "People don't just _recover_ from getting stabbed through the chest! They _die_ from getting stabbed through the chest."

"Normal people don't recover," Nichiren shrugged. "We're talking about _Shimoda Daisuke_. He's about as far from normal as you can possibly get."

"You're not listening to me!" Sasuke full on shouted. "As much as we'd like to believe that the guy who saved all of us is still alive, that doesn't change the fact that he got stabbed through the chest after rescuing all of us from a kidnapping that should never have happened in the first place! Believe me, I would know!"

"And you've never met Daisuke in the first place," Nichiren frowned, glaring at the Uchiha. "We're his teammates. Trust us, he's still alive."

"He is, actually," Neji replied, the veins near his eyes pulsing. He cocked his head. "I can see him. He's clearly alive, just paralyzed…how…is his heart is still working with a spike through it?"

"Oh good," Hisako breathed a sigh of relief. "Where are they taking him?"

"Unbelievable!" Sasuke growled to himself, before catching his dim reflection in a small puddle of water on the ground. His eyes widened as he saw the red irises with a single tomoe and he was quiet as he admired the reflection.

"They're just taking him down into the water…what? How?" Neji was startled.

"What happened?" Naruto, who had calmed down and let up by the jounin. "Is he still alive? Tell me!"

"I can't see him," Neji frowned. "Both him and the fish-man dragging him vanished."

"They most likely have a way of dodging the Byakugan," Kakashi said with a raised eyebrow. "It would explain how they were able to move through the sewer systems without the Hyuuga raising the alarm. The question is how."

"Perhaps some form of seal network?" Gai suggested.

"Perhaps, if it sealed their chakra signature inside a certain area, it might have allowed them to hide," Kakashi nodded. "Though that's a discussion for later. Right now, we need to get out of here."

"Agreed," Gai nodded in turn. "And I'm _very_ impressed by the youthful defense everyone put up!"

"Honestly it was getting pretty hairy until Uzumaki did…whatever he did," Hisako nodded, gesturing toward Naruto with a frown. "Seriously, what was that?"

"Uh…" Naruto blinked, rubbing the back of his head. "I…don't really know."

His classmates were all staring at him with mixed expressions, scared and confused both. Naruto's expression became more and more uncomfortable as he stood, until he just turned away from them all.

"You don't know?" Nichiren blinked owlishly.

"We can talk about that later," Gai interjected quickly. "As impressive and youthful as your defense was, we need to get out of here as fast as possible before we get attacked once again."

"With respect, Gai-sensei," Hisako folded her arms. "We are _not_ abandoning Daisuke-kun."

"Not happening," Naruto growled.

"Of course not," Kakashi replied. "We _do_ need to find him. But Daisuke just has to worry about himself, we have nine non-combatants that cannot, under any circumstances, _be allowed to come to harm_. Do you understand?"

Hisako sighed. "Yes, Sensei. Sorry, Gai-sensei."

"Don't worry about it," Gai gave her a winning smile. "I can have my turtle summons scour the river and septic tank beyond. If the fish-men still have Daisuke, they'll find him."

"Thank you Gai," Kakashi nodded.

"You have turtle summons?" Hisako asked with an intrigued look. "Gai-sensei?"

Gai immediately bit his thumb and struck several hand signs. " _Kuchiyose no Jutsu_!"

In a burst of smoke, 7 turtles, each taller and larger than the Rookie 9 appeared. "Listen up! We've got rabid, monstrous fish-men in the sewer and they've just abducted one of our Genin. Your mission is to head down the stream and rescue him with the power of our _Youth!_ "

One of the turtles yawned, bringing his front flipper to cover his mouth. "Right away, Gai-san."

They slowly shuffled into the stream of filth where they propelled off at high-speeds, causing a large wave to splash all over everyone as they made like torpedoes through the pipe.

"Gross!" Tenten shouted in revulsion at her clothes being drenched in sewage.

"We know," Ino replied, holding her arm.

"Jounin-sensei's," Shino piped up. "If I may."

"Proceed, Aburame," Kakashi replied.

"I've taken the liberty of marking everyone here with one of my kikaichū bugs," Shino explained. "Why? So that if we were separated, we would be better able to find each other. I also took the liberty to plant a bug on Shimoda-senpai."

"What difference does that make?" Kiba asked with a frown, holding Akamaru close to his chest.

"Using my bugs, we would be better able to find Shimoda-senpai through the insect's communication with one another," Shino replied. "Including our rescuer who is indeed alive, if currently fighting off a paralytic poison in his system."

"Do you think we could use your bugs to find another way out of here, Aburame-kun?" Gai asked with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Most certainly, Jounin-sensei," Shino nodded.

"Then make it happen," Gai nodded.

A cloud of bugs released themselves from the young Aburame, dispersing with the sound of bugs flying through the sewers and into the walls. "My bugs should also be able to alert us if more fish-men are nearby. My clan should also be able to find us with a similar method."

"The Byakugan will provide a similar buffer," Neji spoke up. "If anything comes close, we should be able to avoid them."

"Good," Kakashi said. "Let's move everyone. We need to find an exit and we're wasting time just standing here."

* * *

The Hokage was staring at the break in the academy class room, armored in his black jumpsuit, the bracers fitting tightly around his hand and forearm. His helmet had replaced his normal hat but he was still smoking from his favorite pipe.

The room was filled with ANBU, each patiently waiting in formation for the order. Waiting outside for orders were jounin which had already been set into squads. They were also expecting personnel from each clan, as this was the sort of catastrophe to draw in _everyone_.

The was waiting and he knew he wouldn't have to wait long. This… _nightmare_ would get everyone's undivided attention. He would need it. Both to smooth out the appearance of weakness that arose from this and, more importantly, to save nine academy students that were just kidnapped by clearly hostile forces.

Nara Shikaku and Hyuuga Hiashi burst through the door, followed quickly by Yamanaka Inoichi, Inuzuka Tsume and her dog Kuromaru. Then Akimichi Chōza and finally Aburame Shibi came in the door.

"Ah good, you've arrived," The Hokage said. "I'm about to flood the sewers with everyone I can spare in search of your children. I assume you've brought everyone you can?"

"Of course we did!" Tsume snapped, Kuromaru barking and growling in agreement. "Now are we going to stand around talking all day or are we going to move?"

"We're going to move," Hiruzen gravely replied. "I want every jounin in a six-man squad, with clan members spread as evenly as possible. They are to search every entrance to the sewers until your heirs are found. The Anbu will take the south pipe and look for stragglers. We'll follow the trail north. Any questions?"

"No, Hokage-sama," The clan heads called in unison.

"Then give the order to your clan-mates," Hiruzen barked. "And move quickly, because we move as soon as you're done."

Each ran out as fast as they could and Hiruzen took a breath. He was glad he could still command some semblance of respect after not one, but _two_ inexplicable infiltrations of Konoha's security. The diplomatic fallout from this was going to be grave, but if their children are rescued, then there was a possibility that the ties that bound the village together would be stronger through adversity.

There were few things that tied parents together more than the risk of losing their children.

But they would need to move fast. From the blood on the wall, someone was injured and assuming it wasn't one of the enemy, one of their clan heirs was going through the sewers with an open wound, which was _incalculably_ bad for them.

If there was any silver lining, Umino Iruka was going to be fine. He was suffering from infection of his wounds but they caught it very early. He might even be walking before the month is over, thanks to the miracle of medical Ninjutsu.

After a minute of waiting, the clan heads were back. Wordlessly, the Anbu, Hokage and clan heads each dove into the open sewer pipe with a single minded determination to save their children and kill anything that happened to stand in their way.

* * *

 _You are no longer paralyzed_.

YES!

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 60/60._

 _+300 EXP._

A few hand signs later, and I had a chakra-razor on two of my fingers. It took some effort, but I was able to sever the prongs and the trident came out my back. With that, I _immediately_ swam up as fast as I could – I needed out of the water and away from the fish-men as fast as possible. Chakra-slide as applied to swimming was interesting and a miracle. Now, just gotta make sure I'm not being-WHOA NO!

 _+50 EXP._

That things teeth were right in my face! Geeze! Only reason I caught it was because I looked at it at the right time. The sheer stealth ability of these things in the water is _staggering_. I continued to look around and saw that, yeah, it had friends.

I needed a way out.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/7._

There was a pipe, shorn open for easy navigation by the fish's, piping downward so there's likely something _dry_ up it. Unless the water's being pumped up through it, but at least it'll give me a shield from these _anglers_.

I rushed for the opening, growing conscious of the anglers starting to close in on me. I went up the pipe and quickly found that thankfully, the water ended and I slid up the pipe until I found another section that had been torn out of a wall. I flew out of it and rapidly stood up, in spite of my chest heaving to the contrary, because I needed to seal the pipe. _Now_.

Rat, Dog, Horse…

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 72/70_.

 _+600 EXP_.

Glowing kanji wrote itself across the pipe and hung in the air over the opening. The seal itself finished right as one of the anglers got up to it and started snarling against the seal. After a moment of being held by the Fuinjutsu, he slinked off to parts unknown.

He'll find another hole in the wall. I need to move.

I was stopped when a sharp pain arced through my chest, forcing me into a coughing fit. Clumps of blood left my mouth and fell to the floor and my chest felt like it was being stabbed with each cough.

…oh, having a crippled torso was going to suck.

The pipe let out into what looked to be a custodial closet. There was a mop and bucket, with a shelf with half-empty bottles of cleaning supplies. I from my black book, I accessed my inventory and downed three blood pills, each regenerating fifty hitpoints each. Then I downed two ration bars, the flavorless mulch restoring fifteen points each.

I had full health, but my torso was still crippled. Joy of joys.

Outside the closet was a corridor that branched three different ways, forward and to the left or right. I carefully slid forward so as to not make a sound and looked to the left. There, I saw two anglers jumping out of the wall. One gestured down the hall in my direction and they both started running.

As soon as they got close, I jumped out at them, my fist turning the head of the first one into a fine pulp. I slid to the left to avoid getting impaled by another trident and planted my explosive fist in the things gut. It's head and arm, still connected, fell to the floor and twitched for two seconds before finally becoming still.

 _+50 exp._

 _+50 exp._

3,745 more to go.

You know, this is literally everything I wanted out of a quest – lots of things to kill and a chance to explore the dark and dangerous underbelly of Konoha. Shame it came at the cost of putting Naruto in danger and a…crippled…torso…

Another coughing fit, just as painful as the first.

I need to get this fixed. Unfortunately, I don't have or know how to make anything that can restore limb conditions. At least…I don't think…maybe some…uh….

 _Medicine Check Failure: 32/70_.

 _Holy_ -really? _Really?_ Well crap, I'm going to need to invest in Medicine _quick_. I mean, that was the plan anyway but still!

Down the hall where they came from struck me as a poor place to go. Straight ahead was a dead end with a door on the right and I slid forward and opened the door. It was…another janitorial closet. With a mop and broom but no cleaning supplies.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/4._

Yes, I know this one is a fake, game. Thank you. Now where's the hidden door?

I looked around the shelf, noting it emptiness more than once. I tried to find a switch or something to open a hidden door but found none. It was important, somehow but I couldn't find out _how._

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

Actually, it was a red herring. There was a brick to my left at knee level that was loose. I pushed it in and the wall slid open revealing another room.

It was another one of Orochimaru's labs. Interesting that he had so many, I guess keeping everything to a single location would be dangerous in a hidden village.

Inside was a series of operating tables, each dusty from disuse. Bloody, discarded table coverings were stuffed into the waste baskets strewn around the room. On the walls were shelved of jars that once contained samples, but were now empty or broken. To the left were a series of counters and cabinets, with a sink installed into the wall.

Suddenly, two pipes, one to my right and another at the corner and to my left burst out of the walls, and an angler each came out of them. Well, crap.

I moved fast and caught the first one unprepared, splattering him all over the wall.

 _+50 EXP_.

Turning around, I saw the other one run alongside the operating tables. Not particularly in the mood to let him get close, I started to make hand seals when…I ended up having another coughing fit.

Crap. Crap. Crap!

The stabbing pain in my chest was horrible.

-36 HP.

The claws that ripped through my arm were even worse! Ow! I rapidly turned around and planted my foot in its mouth, obliterating its skull and sending its limp corpse to the ground. I was immediately sent into another coughing fit due to the exertion. My chest was on fire, aching and stabbing with each heave.

 _+50 EXP._

I need a nap. Or at least something to fix my chest.

Once I stopped, I looked around. This was a laboratory, there _had_ to be medical supplies somewhere. There was one box marked 'medical' in kanji, but inside was a depressing lack of anything useable. Tubes and broken syringes. The only thing was a blood pill, which I used to heal the damage I had just taken.

With that avenue lost, I turned to the cabinets. There were more raw ingredients, but nothing substantial as I tore into them in search of something to heal my torso, but I didn't have the Medicine Skill to know how to make anything.

Come on…come on…

I searched under the operating tables, on the hospital trays, in the sink. Nothing. There were more counters at the end of the lab on the right, as well as a door. I moved over there and started searching. A bottle of blood pills, though there were only five or so left inside. Still, I added those to my inventory. Then I checked the cabinets above, still finding more raw ingredients and…a syringe, placed on a small stand with purple liquid insider.

A small, green window appeared to show the benefit.

 _Permanent +1 Strength._

My eyes went wide and my jaw started to slacken as I looked at it. What I had here was an equivalent to a Bobblehead from Fallout's three through four. I gingerly grabbed it from its stand and held it in my hand with my head racing.

There were probably more.

There _had_ to be more. One for each stat, hopefully. This…this was a _precious_ find. If there was anything I would have wanted from a jaunt into the sewers, it would be this. The whole set, preferably. Including…one for Charisma. I didn't have to use it right now, either. I could hold onto it until I got _Almost Perfect_ , basically going to _Just Perfect_.

My mouth started to twitch into a manic grin.

I only had one real problem, and that would be that Kakashi and Gai…and anyone with half a brain would never let me take _anything_ from Orochimaru's secret labs with the purpose of _using it on myself_. For good reason, too. After all, Orochimaru was a traitor to the village and more importantly, a disgusting human being who experimented on people for selfish goals.

But this was too good to pass up. So how do I sneak it past them?

Well…I mean, they have Kakashi and Gai with them, plus my team and team 9. It's not like they _need_ me there, right? They're basically fine. They also probably know that _I'm_ fine so they've got no real reason to stick around and look for me, right? Right! Especially since they've got nine non-combatants they need to protect and they _will_ , so…I can _put off_ rendezvousing with them until I've found all the syringes. At least the ones that matter. Then I can find rendezvous with them and they won't be any the wiser!

It's a perfect plan.

 _Quest Added: Scavenger Hunt_

 _Find the SPECIAL Syringes (1/6)._

…I guess Orochimaru wouldn't be able to make something to increase how the universe feels about you, huh?

Well, that settles it!

I'm off to find what makes me… _Special._

* * *

 _Author's Notes: This is the part where we really start to see Daisuke's absurd dedication to efficiency that he's leaving everyone in the safe hands of his sensei to go find the one thing that's going to let him have Perfect 10's in every catagory. I mean,_ technically _spending a perk to get Charisma would be a waste because of Almost Perfect and that his level cap is level 50. But it would make things so much easier in the long run._

 _I mean, it shouldn't be hard for the two Jounin to get everyone back topside. You know, because they're Jounin. Right? Right._

 _Right._

 _Until the next time._

 _~Fulcon_


	26. Revelations

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

The ragged convoy of students and shinobi had run into a road-block. At the end of the hall was a wall with a pipe built into the bottom, which the river of filth ran through. The only door was to the left and it opened to a staircase going _down_.

Naturally, no one was pleased with this development. Cell 13 wanted to find their lost teammate of course, but they understood that getting locked down in what was essentially enemy lines was _really bad_.

"Maybe the other direction had a door going up?" Kakashi thought.

"I can go search," Gai replied. "If there is, we can head that way instead."

"Thank you, Gai-san," Kakashi nodded and the Green Beast sped off faster than anyone except Kakashi or Sasuke could see, and Sasuke only saw a blur.

He was back almost as quickly. "That hallway's caved in too. I don't know if you want to risk an Earth release."

"Why _not_ just use Earth-jutsu?" Naruto asked. "Moving rocks are what they're _made_ for, right?"

"Yeah, but it could also cause a cave in Naruto-b…Naruto," Sakura started hotheaded but calmed down considerably at the end.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru rubbed his eyes. "She's loud but she's right. With how everything's been collapsing around us, we don't want to bury ourselves trying to move a couple boulders."

Naruto blinked and stuffed his hands in his pocket. "Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

"So we're stuck down here," Ino asked with wide eyes, looking around rapidly as she broke out in a cold sweat. "That's bad. That's really bad."

"We're not stuck down here," Kakashi replied with a tone of finality. "There's more than one entrance into the sewer so we just need to find another one. If it means we need to go downward to go up later, then so be it. We just need to be extra careful."

"Agreed," Gai nodded. "We can set a formation for our teams around the students to guard them from fish-men."

"I can take the lead," Kakashi replied. "I think Hisako and Nichiren can take either side of the group."

"Lee can be with Hisako and Tenten with Nichiren," Gai said. "I'll take the rear with Neji."

"Sounds like a plan," Kakashi nodded. "Alright, you heard him. Students, gather together. Everyone take formation."

"Yosh! It's an excellent plan!" Lee said, taking a spot beside Hisako.

"It'll work," Nichiren took his glasses off and cleaned them off as Tenten stood by him.

The river splashed up and everyone got ready for combat once again, only for it to be one of Gai's turtles. "Gai-san, we've scoured every inch of the septic tank."

"Good, Momiji-san," Gai replied, his brow furrowing in concern. "I see that our Genin isn't with you."

"We were unable to find him," Momiji the turtle replied. "But we did find several clouds of blood and entrails floating down in the water, like they were tagged with explosive notes."

"That's Daisuke," Hisako nodded. "Making things explode is his default Taijutsu technique."

"So he got free," Nichiren breathed. "That's good."

"We can continue to search the sewers at your command, Gai-san," Momiji replied with a yawn.

"Have any turtles been sent back?" Gai asked, brow still furrowed.

"Ayumu was ambushed and sent back," Momiji answered. "We will not fall for their lures again."

"Then continue your search," Gai said with a winning smile. "And show them that your fires of youth still burn bright!"

"Our youth, sure," Momiji simply chuckled and went back into the water, speeding off with another great splash.

Everyone successfully backed away from the wave of sewage before they got splashed again. Then at Kakashi's order, they moved down the stairs and found themselves in a room. Bunk beds lined the walls with a door on the other side.

"What's a barracks doing this far down?" Shikamaru asked with a frown.

"I don't know," Kakashi replied. "Stay alert, everyone."

They slowly moved down the room, carefully eyeing the walls for anything that might jump out at them.

"So…can I ask you something?" Tenten asked Nichiren.

"Sure," He shrugged.

"Do _all_ of your missions turn out like this?" Tenten frowned in deep concern.

"Nah," Nichiren answered. "This is…what, our third mission like this?"

"Yeah," Hisako nodded. "Out of dozens of D-ranks, we've only had a couple missions like _this_."

"It's still an unusually high number," Nichiren explained further. "…Kakashi-sensei, how many missions go like this for an average team?"

"For an average team, the answer is Zero," Kakashi answered from the front.

"Yeah so this probably won't happen to you guys again," Nichiren nodded with a small smile. "Or to anyone to makes it to Genin, for that matter."

"Yosh!" Lee said. "That you have done so many missions like this _proves_ that you are all worthy Genin, befitting the status of Gai-sensei's rival!"

"Thanks Lee," Hisako smirked.

"Keep quiet for a second," Kakashi said as they approached the door. Kakashi carefully turned the nob and peered through it, jumping forward into the room. After a few tense moments, Kakashi came back. "Coast is clear."

It was a kitchen and dining area, though the tables and chairs were knocked to the ground. The refrigerator was filled with rotten, mossy foodstuffs. However, there was a water fountain built into the wall. Kakashi moved to it, pressed the button and found water springing from it. A few hand seals later, and he turned to the group. "The waters clean. Everyone, drink up. Yamanaka first, everyone else make a line."

Ino, who was starting to get paler as the journey got longer, came up and took several very long sips of water from the fountain, before stepping away and allowing the next in line, Sakura, take a turn. After she was done, Kiba and Akamaru came forward.

"I'll scout ahead," Gai said. "I'll return when I've found a reasonably safe route."

"Stay safe," Kakashi said.

"Yosh! I'll keep my fires of youth burning brightly!" Gai gave everyone a winning grin before disappearing for all but Sasuke, who only looked like a green blur through a door with nary a sound.

"Are you going to be okay, Ino-chan?" Sakura asked her friend.

"I hope so," Ino said, wiping her forehead with her arm-warmer. "…are _you_ going to be okay, Sakura-chan?"

"I don't know," Sakura said, taking a deep breath. "I guess hope is all we can do, right?"

"This isn't really what you thought being a shinobi would be like, huh?" Hisako asked, coming up to the two girls.

"No," Sakura replied with a shake of her head. "No it wasn't…"

"What'd you think it was going to be like, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked with a curious look.

"Well…I thought it was going to be all 'infiltrating daimyo courts' and 'seducing hot Ouji-samas,'" Sakura confessed with a frown. "Not being dragged through the sewers by monsters."

"You get that idea from a book?" Hisako asked with a sad yet amused smile.

"…A couple," Sakura's head fell with a frown.

"I'm sorry," Hisako replied.

"Yeah, it's not like how writers tend to make it out," Tenten added with a pitying glance of her own. "I thought I was just going to be like Tsunade-hime right out of the gate…then I got my first D-rank painting a house."

"Painting a _house?_ " Naruto balked. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope," Nichiren shook his head with a serious look on his face. "The point of being a Genin is to both get training from your jounin sensei and get used to doing missions for cash. Things like filing reports on your mission, getting pay vouchers, cashing those pay-vouchers…it's a crash course of the most mundane parts of being a Shinobi."

"Aw, man!" Kiba groused. "So we don't even get to the good stuff?"

"You're living 'the good stuff' right now," Hisako offered a wry reply. "How's it suit you?"

"Uh…well," Kiba started, before turning away with a grumble.

"Doing D-ranks missions build character," Lee said with enthusiasm. "That's what Gai-sensei said and it's true. Without them to stoke our fires of youth, we would never become the excellent shinobi we could be!"

Neji's eye twitched just slightly. "He's technically right. Without knowing how to work hard and train effectively, you don't obtain your potential, no matter how much or how _little_ that potential might be. And if you don't train, you could get yourself or your teammates killed."

"I don't think I want to be a shinobi anymore," Sakura mumbled to herself.

"Don't think like that," Ino said with a frown. "If you're not around, who am I going to butt heads with?"

"This is serious," Sakura frowned. "I don't want to die and I don't want to cause someone else to die."

"She has a point," Sasuke grumbled from his spot by the wall. "People die and people kill each other all the time in the Shinobi world. If she doesn't think she can handle it, she should leave."

"Oh shut up, Sasuke," Naruto glared at him. "You're always such a broody kill-joy."

"It's a shinobi's fate to die," Neji interjected with folded arms. "Th-"

"Again with the fate talk!" Hisako groaned with her hands in her face.

"Regardless of your opinions on it, it's true," Neji glared at her. "Shinobi fight other shinobi and kill and die at the behest of the Hokage or their Village…or their clan with no thought as to whether it's 'fair' or 'just'…we have no choice in the matter. It's our fate."

"You are such a nihilist," Hisako breathed in irritation.

"The _world_ is a nihilist," Neji retorted, still glaring.

"Can it, everyone," Kakashi finally interjected. "We can save the arguments for after we get to safety."

"Well it doesn't matter if the world's this super dark place or not!" Naruto declared hotly. "One day, I'm going to be Hokage and then I'll change everything!"

Groans and face palms went around the academy students, save for the ever stoic Sasuke, who simply raised an annoyed eyebrow.

" _Enough_ , Uzumaki," Kakashi glared at him.

"Just you wait," Naruto said, pointing directly at the Jounin. "I'll become Hokage then _everyone_ will have to treat me with respect and I can make things better!"

Kakashi started to bark another order, then he sighed. His Sensei's son was turning out to be just like his mother. And he had just disobeyed an order, which meant he was going to need to go the extra mile. "Okay, _Hokage_. Let me ask you a question."

"Go ahead," Naruto exclaimed loudly, folding his arms.

"You don't like Uchiha over there, right?" Kakashi asked, pointing to Sasuke.

"I…uh…" Naruto started, looking at Sakura who looked like she was about to throttle him. He took a breath and continued. "…I…no. I don't like him at all."

"Well, part of the job description for being Hokage is protecting the village with your life," Kakashi stated. "That means everyone who is a member of the village. Including Uchiha Sasuke."

"Okay, sure," Naruto said, shrugging. "Whatever, you had a point?"

"My _point_ ," Kakashi put just enough killing intent behind his words to give them the weight they needed. "Is that every Hokage besides the third has died in defense of this village. So my question is this; would you die to protect him?"

"Would I…" Naruto's eyes went wide, and his defiant look disappeared.

"Would you die to protect Uchiha Sasuke?" Kakashi asked again.

"I…uh…" Naruto started, before eventually falling silent.

"No?" Kakashi filled in the supposed answer. "Then you could never be Hokage – because you aren't willing to do everything in your power to protect every member of this village."

Naruto's shoulders sagged with a shocked look in his eyes.

"Um…Sensei?" Nichiren rose his hand.

"Yes, Nichiren-kun?" Kakashi asked.

"Gai-sensei has been gone for a long time," Nichiren replied. "Can we be sure this didn't turn out like Arai?"

"Who?" Shikamaru asked

"…no we can't," Kakashi replied. "Stay here, guard the students. I'll be back in 10 minutes. If I'm not, fortify this room and wait for help to arrive."

"Yes Sensei," Hisako nodded, gripping her kunai with white knuckles.

" _Kuchiyose No Jutsu,"_ Kakashi called out, slamming a bloodied hand down on the ground, causing a small, brown ninken to appear.

"Oh, geeze boss," The pug waved his paw in front of his nose. "What's with the stench?"

"Pakkun, we're in the sewers," Kakashi replied. "We're also behind enemy lines and we need to find Gai as fast as possible."

"Right!" Pakkun stood up on all four and lead the jounin through the exit.

"I'll lay a couple of exploding tags at the doors," Nichiren replied.

"I'll help," Tenten said, grabbing some tags of her own.

"I can lay out my bugs over the room," Shino offered. "Why? So they can swarm anything that enters the room and drain it of Chakra."

"Do it," Hisako nodded.

"Yosh! We'll set up another perimeter! Students, huddle together so we can protect you!" Lee proclaimed with his brows nettled in concentration. "We'll defeat these fish-men with the fires of our youth!"

The students were huddled together and Hinata, who had ended up on the other side of Sakura, looked at her with concern. "Sakura-chan…I don't think you should quit the academy."

"Why not?" Sakura asked her quietly. "There's no way I could be prepared for _anything_ like this."

Hinata looked a little uneasy, but soldiered on. "You're one of the top Kunoichi in our class…you could be prepared and I think you should keep trying."

"But I _wasn't_ prepared," Sakura groused.

Hinata gulped, pressing her fingers together. "Um…listen. When I was three…Cloud was in Konoha to discuss a peace treaty…we were at war at the time…and the ninja they sent attempted to kidnap me. My Father, being a very powerful shinobi, managed to stop them."

"Okay…" Sakura looked at her confused.

"If my Father hadn't trained really hard, if he gave up when things looked really, really bad, if he had stopped training or trying to become stronger, he might not have stopped the kidnapping and I wouldn't be here right now," Hinata explained, choosing to avoid the idea that Hiashi might've been replaced by his brother if he didn't train for the sake of the story. "If you give up, there might be someone else, someone you could've protected that dies because you weren't there."

"Someone else could do it," Sakura groaned. "Easily. Ino-chan could do it. You could do it."

"You could say that someone else could do it," Hinata allowed. "Someone else might do it…but sometimes there is no one else."

"Great. Thanks," Sakura slumped even more.

"I was just trying to help," Hinata frowned, looking at the ground.

Bits of the ceiling fell on the group and the piper burst open and a fish-person fell out, biting Hisako from head to torso and shaking her around like a dog does a chew-toy. Only then it's throat was slit and its guts fell out of its torso, with Hisako standing uninjured over it with an angry scowl on her face.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru whispered with shocked, wide eyes. "They're coming out of the walls."

* * *

Hiashi sneezed and carefully wiped his nose.

"Oh, your daughter must be talking you up," Tsume smirked.

"I'm sure," Hiashi responded stoically. "We must find them quickly."

Hiruzen pressed a loose brick on this dead end. As the wall slid out of the way, revealing the bloodied surgeons table, a knot formed in Hiruzen's stomach, threatening to turn into a bleeding ulcer with _everything_ pointing in the one direction Hiruzen didn't want to go.

"This is one of Orochimaru's old labs, isn't it?" Shikaku asked as the same feeling that Hiruzen was feeling started to descend on the whole group.

"Indeed it is," Hiruzen confirmed. "If that traitor is somehow involved in this…Hiashi is correct. We need to move."

Hiruzen climbed into the pipe, following by Tsume and Shikaku, until the pipe that had been wrenched open suddenly came to a close, almost as if it had been hammered shut…by a cave-in.

"Hokage-sama," Hiashi called from outside the pipe. "I can see our Children – it appears they've been rescued by Cell 13 and Cell 9."

Hiruzen breathed a sigh of relief, a sentiment shared by the rest of the clan heads, though Hiruzen also was wondering what Cell 9 was doing down here. "Is this pipe safe to clear without risk of another cave in?"

"I don't believe so, Hokage-sama," Hiashi replied as the three climbed out of the pipe. "There is another route we can ta…what? How?"

"What's wrong?" Tsume barked in anger.

"They've just disappeared," Hiashi frowned deeply. "They must be under attack. We need to hurry."

"What's our route?" The Hokage said in utmost seriousness.

"Down the hall, take a right and keep going. At the end of the hall, there's an entrance to another one of Orochimaru's labs that goes further down," Hiashi reported.

"Let's move," The Hokage ordered and they made a mad dash for the entrance Hiashi described.

Hiashi only took several moments before grabbing a lightbulb dangling from the ceiling and pulling down, causing the stone wall to slide away. Inside were numerous chemistry tables and stacks of paper, the contents of which were too degraded by time to be any sort of legible.

The group ran in and Kuromaru started growling.

"What is it?" Tsume asked. At the barked response, she frowned and sniffed the air. "We're not alone here."

"I don't see anything," Hiashi said automatically and a chill went up his spine as he realized what that meant. "I…there!"

From underneath the lab table, _something_ surged up and leapt at Hiashi, a natural camouflage fading and revealing a fish-man, with red spines sticking out of its shoulders and back and thicker scales overall. Pinned beneath the monster's weight, Hiashi slammed three separate Jyuken strikes on its torso, shredding its heart and making it go limp. He shoved it off of him and rapidly stood up.

The walls started to open and more started to de-cloak in front of their eyes.

 _Orochimaru?_ Hiruzen said, preparing a lightning release jutsu. _When I find you, I'm going to kill you._

* * *

"Well, at least we know Orochimaru is involved now," Shikaku quipped just before the battle began.

 _+300 EXP_.

It's like a shooting gallery. The anglers just _won't stop coming!_

I'm actually having a lot of fun, here.

Another angler's head exploded at the end of my fist, bringing another one's miserable life to an end.

 _+50 EXP._

3,295 more to go.

See, this is what I was expecting when I set up my SPECIAL stats the way I did. Running around in dank, dark dungeons filled with acceptable targets chasing after a quest and awesome loot. _This_ is what I want out of my life right now.

This…this is actually bliss. This is what I'm _built_ for.

I couldn't really contain the manic giggles coming out of my mouth as I ran through the hallway. I tried to open the first door I came across and found it locked. Well, it's why they invented lock picks.

 _Snap._

 _Snap._

 _Snap._

I was at least happy it didn't simply not allow me to pick the lock just because my skill was low. It was just really tricky. Finally, though, it opened. Inside was just a closet with shelves on the sides and front. Inside one of the boxes were a couple kunai and shuriken and a blood pill. The rest just had useless scrap which I presumed I could craft, but since I haven't once come across a crafting menu and there was nothing in the book talking about crafting, I assumed I would have to make things _the old fashioned way_.

In a way, that was relieving. It meant that I had at least some ties to the laws of reality.

With the room looted, I slid down the hallway and found another door. This one opened and…huh, a barracks. Bunkbeds lined the room and were built into the center. This must've been Root's. I wonder where Root actually _is_. Actually, if the Hokage was investigating Root following the House incident, Danzo might have taken that as his que to keep his agents out of Konoha until everything blows over.

Which is pretty smart, not gonna lie.

I moved through the barracks when the sound of a tearing pipe to my left sent my fist between two bunks, splattering an angler's torso all over the wall.

Geeze, at this rate, our entire sewer system was going to need a complete reconstruction with how the pipes are being torn up. I wonder how the toilets upstairs are handling. If there's a couple pipes working at all the right places, there might still be flushing going on somewhere.

I dove over the center set of beds to land on an angler, sending it to the ground. A follow-up stomp made its head into paint on the floor. Then I got sent into a coughing fit, allowing another one to jump on me from behind and pin me to the floor. It had a hard time staying on me when I sent my elbow into its knee then a fist to its face as it screamed in pain.

Getting stabbed sucks.

 _+150 EXP._

So I walked through the barracks and came to another hall. Directly across from me was a door, which I was able to open no problem. It was just a closet, some cleaning supplies on the shelf, nothing interesting at all.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

A loose brick, almost missed it but thankfully the game is on my side this time. I pressed it in and found, to my joy, another clinic, this one not having been stained with blood, so it obviously hadn't seen much use. On the back shelf…was a glowing, purple syringe.

 _Yes._

I walked over to it.

 _Permanent +1 Perception._

With a really wide grin, I stuffed it in my storage scroll and left. It made sense they'd all be in the sewers, after all. I mean, they would most likely be a part of the same experiment if they're a part of a set and Orochimaru had quite a while to work down here in the quiet.

There was nothing else in the room…except for a blood pill. Come on, no doctor's bags?

That complaint was punctuated by a perfectly timed coughing fit, leaving bloody chunks of phlegm on the ground. Oh, getting stabbed sucks. I'm totally buying something heavy to wear on my torso after this, it's almost gotten me killed.

Still though, I pressed on.

On the left, I found another locked door and immediately got to work.

The ceiling erupted right above my head and I slid out of the way, leaving my pick hanging on in the lock as I reversed my direction and plunged my foot in the things back.

 _+50 EXP._

Two more came down the hall and rather than slide down to them, I prepped a jutsu.

 _Sith Lightning_.

Both found themselves stunned and baked underneath the onslaught of lightning and their twitching corpses collapsed to the ground. One of the tails wouldn't stop moving, causing me to laugh out loud as I got back to the lock pick.

 _+100 EXP._

Oh, it's like a giant weight off my shoulders. Right now, there was no social worries, no crushing teammates causing me to feel guilty, no distractions. Just me and a level full of EXP. The only way this could be any better was if I didn't need to pick the locks.

…wait a minute.

My fist went through the door and unlocked it from the other side, rendering the lock-picks unnecessary. Okay, it really _doesn't_ get better than this.

I kicked the door open and found myself in another lab. This one was huge, with chemistry sets and lab equipment lining the walls. A series of glass vats were installed on the far right corner. Two of whom were still filled with failed experiments, looking like twisted amalgamations of fish and man – well, more so than the many targets that filled the sewers, and one that had broken out. On the far left was a tunnel that looked as if it had been dug out by hand. Also in the room…well.

"Oh, you're a big one, aren't you?" I said to the angler not twenty feet in front of me.

It was huge, at least twenty feet tall and its limbs were bulky enough to look like it was on some sort of steroid. Buffout, actually. Yeah, in my head, it's on Buffout until I find records otherwise. And Psycho, can't forget that.

It roared and charge- _holy cow he's fast!_

His clawed hand swiped where my head had been. I had ducked then circled him in and orbit before jumping on it with both feet charged with chakra.

Well, he didn't disintegrate, he actually was propelled forward and I was propelled backward.

 _-5 HP._

 _-5 HP._

I rolled over twice before standing.

He's tough too, and he proved it when he turned around and charged at me again. He launched at me with a bite, which I side-stepped just in time to land a punch to his eye, making him stumble two steps before he turned around to claw at me again. He eye had popped and was bleeding-OWOWOW!

 _-60 HP._

His claws raked _right_ across my torso, sending me into a coughing fit and I slid forward to get away from him. Crap, crap, crap!

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

I slid to the right, successfully avoiding another swipe of the things claws. It picked up one of the desks, a chemistry set, and attempted to slam me with it. I slid backward and sent another torrent of lightning at it.

It twitched and cried out in pain, but it kept advancing toward me and I rapidly ran out of chakra. I ducked to avoid another swipe and dove between its legs, deftly avoiding its tail. About then my chakra came back and I jumped on its back to wail on it with punches.

Only two punches landed before the things torso finally exploded, leaving a severed arm and a giant corpse on the floor.

+ _100 EXP._

I took two blood pills to recover the HP I lost. That was disconcerting…I didn't expect to find something that could actually tank my punches. Should it feel bad that this was actually _exciting_ as well as disconcerted? I mean, I was finally fulfilling the purpose of the build and doing what Bethesda protagonists are supposed to do – raid and plunder dungeons!

It might be bad. Especially since Sensei, Hisako and Nichiren were probably worried. I mean, not _too_ worried, it is me after all, but worried. Plus Naruto and the rookie 9..and team 9 up there. They…okay, now I'm starting to feel bad.

I just need to find these syringes, then I can find them. I _need_ this security. Just…it shouldn't take long.

I searched the lab. A couple blood pills, but no doctors bags or additional medical supplies. I had 10 luck, there had to be _something_.

Then…huh, this is interesting. I grabbed a binder off one of the tables, it filled with kanji going straight down with flawless penmanship. Some of Orochimaru's old research notes. Well…okay, maybe this'll help me later.

 _Project Sewer Monster, August 4_ _th_ _,_ It read. _Shimura's organization found an infiltrator from Hidden Mist attempting to devise a path into Konoha through the sewers and gave him to me. I wish they were more careful with their interrogation, the specimen was damaged. His bloodline is interesting, though – he has gills on the side of his neck allowing him to breathe under water. I'd seen several like it, notably in Hoshigake Kisame but this was the most subdued – the least noticeable. I was told they only barely noticed it when they were interrogating him._

 _Regardless, the mission is simple – reverse engineer it and then engineer implantation for Root operatives. I can't_ wait _to get started._ _The sheer utility of natural water-breathing is not to be underestimated. Once the procedure has been perfected and administered to myself, I'll give them a lesser version…one that allows me to usurp Shimura's troops from him._

Interesting. I didn't know that Orochimaru and Root had any form of partnership but this is certainly good to know. And if this got into the Hokage's hands, he'd have reason to _kill_ Danzo. I consider this only a good thing. Anything else here?

 _Project Sewer Monster, August 11_ _th_ _,_ The next entry started. _Someone's been tampering with the specimen. I left him to stew in the vat for a day and when I came back, the liquid in his vat had turned a sickly, glowing green and the specimen was growing and_ fast _. It was absolutely fascinating to watch. His skull took on the form of a carnivorous fish with a glowing bulb drooping from his forehead and his hands and feet lengthened and grew claws and webbing between the digits._

 _The subject remains sedated and some of the green formula has been taken for study and it's perhaps the most complex mutagen that I've ever seen. I_ can't _allow Shimura to find out about it. It would mean that he would gain an unacceptable advantage over me._

 _In the meantime, I'll need to re-evaluate the security measures in my labs. I can't have anyone coming in and messing with my specimens for a lark, even if they do hand me an incredible boon. I've dubbed the green liquid GM-01._

Glowing…green liquid?

That sounds familiar.

I do not like how it sounds familiar.

 _Project Sewer Monster, August 15_ _th_ _,_ I had turned the page. _Progress on decoding GM-01 is non-existent. It's simply beyond my instruments ability to discern, which has many implications…both for what this means for the Prime Specimen and for the security of my lab. Someone…or something, had spiked this vat with the mutagen for unknown purposes. It didn't come from the Specimen himself, traces of the mutagen would have been present in his blood prior to being placed in the vat._

 _This isn't good. I'll need to relocate soon and sever ties with Shimura._

 _Attempts with other subjects using GM-01 and traditional methods of cloning additional sets of gills for transplant have both been unsuccessful. Sub-specimens were warped to non-functionality and had to be disposed of._

Glowing green, absurdly advanced mutagen that exaggerates physical characteristics and…this next entry is going to be about how the Prime Specimen escaped, isn't it?

 _Project Sewer Monster, August 16_ _th_ _,_ It started. _The specimen outgrew his tank last night and broke out. He's dug a tunnel into a cave system which has apparently existed before Konoha existed. He's somewhere in the water, and I can't find him. I'll have to declare this lab quarantined…Sensei has been asking questions about some of the specimen's Shimura has procured from the populace of Konoha and he's getting ready for an investigation._

 _I need to finish a few of my smaller scale experiments and then relocate before Sensei discovers what I've done…he'd never approve. He's soft-hearted like that. I'll just have to check on the Prime Specimen when or if I return to Konoha._

…he did break out. Knew it.

But…wait…I know Green Liquid like that is from somewhere. I…oh my gosh.

The Prime Specimen was exposed to the FEV.

Forced Evolutionary Virus.

From _Fallout_.

But that's crazy! That's absolutely insane! But…I can't think of anything else it might be. Orochimaru couldn't make heads or tails of the mutagen. It glowed green and worked really fast. There's already precedence for things from Fallout arriving in the world, namely me and the hallucination from the House.

But then where'd all these fish-men come from? The FEV leaves you sterile and so he couldn't lay eggs or anything. Could he? No…but he could use a jutsu. Some advanced cloning jutsu – I'm not the only one that invents jutsu in the world, after all.

I…oh, boy. This is bad.

Really bad.

I've been fighting what was essentially feral ghouls on my way here. Then this one right here must've been a super-mutant. Which means…at the end of this, there's a Behemoth. I giant angler-fish-monster that would like nothing more than to eat everyone I care about alive.

I walked up to the tunnel and walked down inside, slowly. At the end…I came to the cave system. Roots from the trees above dangled down from the cavern roof, with numerous bugs and moss clinging and glowing with chakra, providing a light source. In the distance, I saw several anglers dive into the water below.

If there is a behemoth somewhere in there that's using jutsu, he's probably retained his mental faculties…which means he has to be put down before he kills everyone on the surface.

And I'm sure Gai and Kakashi can protect everyone even if it is something from an entirely different IP.

Right?

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Fun fact, the Angler's are actually from a DLC for Fallout 4, called Far Harbor. Daisuke doesn't recognize them because he died before it's announcement. There's a lot of things Daisuke doesn't know, actually.  
_

 _Other than that? This chapter is super important to the game at hand. I mean...hugely._

 _Hope you enjoyed it._

 _~Fulcon_.


	27. Unexpected Difficulties

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

There were only three of them, to everyone's relief.

After Hisako had disemboweled the first one, two more popped out from the floor, away from them. Tenten pelted one with Kunai, making it resemble a shinobi pin-cushion rather than a mutated fish-monster afterwards.

The other one was rushed by Neji and Lee. Lee slid across the ground to take the monsters legs out from under him and Neji struck it multiple times in the chest on its way down and upon landing, it convulsed all of one time before falling still.

Everyone was quiet while they waited.

"That's it?" Kiba asked quietly.

"Inuzuka?" Hisako whispered dangerously. " _Shush_."

"Sorry," Kiba replied.

Seconds later, the door burst open again and Kakashi barely ducked in time to avoid a pair of Kunai from Hisako and Tenten. Gai was right behind him, and he dodged to the left.

"Well, I see you've managed to handle yourselves again," Kakashi nodded, looking at the corpses. "Well done, all of you."

"I'm glad you managed to find Gai-sensei," Nichiren replied, putting away the Ninja-wire he'd spooled out in response. "Where was he?"

"Ambushed," Gai answered. "They pulled me underwater and it took me a little bit before I could get free and find by way back."

"Find your way back?" Neji asked with a deepening frown.

"They've bred like flies in the water," Gai replied with a furrowed brow. "When I got free, I had to get to the closest exit before drowning, and that wasn't the one they removed me from. It's a maze beyond the door."

"So we have no choice but to go further downward," Nichiren frowned deeply.

"This mission just keeps getting better and better," Hisako interjected with an eye twitch.

"Seriously, why don't we just use an earth-release jutsu to get out," Kiba asked with a frown, still holding Akamaru. "A cave-in doesn't matter if we're not here, right?"

"We're not. _Abandoning. Daisuke_ ," Hisako hissed with venom to spare.

"Do you seriously not understand how much earth and water is above us right now, Kiba-baka?" Sakura barked in frustration. "Not to mention the fact that it's apparently _already collapsing!_ "

"You'd need more than just an earth-release to get up there," Kakashi said. "That, and since it's already collapsing, we face the added danger of collapsing a part of the village above us…possibly the _entire_ village."

"We could bring the whole village down on our heads?" Ino breathed with wide eyes.

"It's possible, chain reactions can be unpredictable," Shikamaru shrugged. "But the ground above us collapsing can make escaping, even with earth release, impossible. It's horribly troublesome."

"In spite of our difficulties, we must persevere," Gai gave a sage-like nod. "No matter how deep we must go, our fires of youth will carry us to victory!"

"Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted with a look of utter joy.

Kakashi loudly cleared his throat.

"Right," Gai rubbed the back of his head with an embarrassed smile. "Let's move, the second path on the right appears to be the most defensible."

"Everyone, assume formation," Kakashi ordered and they did so. "March. Keep an eye on the walls and ceilings."

Everyone walked down the hall, keeping careful eye of each entrance, for there were several. On the left was a corridor that went down and was flooded with water and further down was another which was also flooded. Past that one was a dry stair-case, going straight until it ended at another door.

Kakashi slowly opened the door, peeking inside, then opening it. "It looks clear."

Down the hall they went, their eyes glued to the walls in case of ambush. At the end of the hall, they turned and came right to another door. Kakashi pulled it open carefully and saw a filing cabinet had been wedged into the door frame. A quick palm-strike knocked it out of the frame, then Kakashi stood there and blinked. "Huh. It seems Daisuke's been through here."

"How do you figure?" Hisako asked as the group was funneled inside. Then she saw three fish-men corpses, their innards having been reduced to paste and used to decorate the walls a refreshing shade of red. "Oh, yeah. He's been through here."

Over on the side there was an open door, leading down into the water, and another open door leading out into another corridor.

"He got stabbed," Chouji stated, somewhat startling the others who hadn't heard him speak up. "You'd think the sewer water would slow him down…I mean, look at Ino. She's slowing down."

"It's Daisuke," Hisako shrugged. "He doesn't _get_ slowed down."

Nichiren grabbed a soldier pill from one of his pouches and handed it to Ino. "Here, this'll hopefully get you through the rest of the day."

"Thank you," She took the pill and immediately looked better as color returned to her skin.

"Looks like he was looking for Medical supplies," Tenten said, gesturing to a first-aid box mounted on the wall that had been broken open.

"Do you think he found any?" Naruto asked with a concerned frown.

"Maybe a blood pill or two," Shikamaru replied. "I doubt he'll have found anything substantial, though – these rooms look like they've been ransacked already."

"At least we're on his trail," Nichiren said. "We'll find him in no time and that'll be a load off of all of our minds."

There were nods of assent throughout the party.

"Let's keep moving," Kakashi ordered, and they moved through the room, past the messy corpses their missing compatriot had left on the floor. They went through a door and walked through a corridor, passing three more bodies.

Naruto, with a frown on his face, looked at the corpses they past. One had its stomach blown out with bits of its intestines strewn along the wall it was leaning against, the spear in its hand having dropped to the floor. As they passed it, his gaze returned to the floor.

"…are you okay, Naruto?" Sakura asked him quietly.

"Huh?" Naruto looked at her. "Uh…yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Why?"

"You're just really quiet," Sakura frowned. "It's not like you at all."

"I'm just thinking…" Naruto replied.

"About what he said?" Sakura frowned.

"Yeah…" Naruto replied.

"Look, I like Sasuke-kun, I do," Sakura said, still trying to be quiet as they turned a corner. "But asking you to _die_ for him in order to fulfill your dream? That's more than a little harsh."

"You really think so?" Naruto asked with wide eyes.

"W-well, yeah," Sakura said, looking conspicuously in the other direction as she said so. "I mean; I'd die for Sasuke. I…I think. But I don't really expect _you_ too."

Naruto sighed, partly in exasperation and partly in gratitude. "Thanks, Sakura."

They stopped before another door and Kakashi went inside to hurriedly scout. At this point, they had done this several times before and they were actually starting to relax…before they heard the sound of an explosion on the other side of the door.

Gai rushed forward through the door and a thick tension settled over the group. Until Neji, sounding bored, cleared the air. "They just cleared the room. There was a…really _big_ one in the other room waiting for us."

No sooner than he finished, the door opened and Kakashi was standing there with an eye-smile. "The room's clear. Come on in, there's another water fountain."

The group filed inside and, sure enough, there was a large fish-man, nearly nine feet tall with massive bulk. There were kunai stuck in its neck and stomach with a large burn splayed across its torso and legs. One of its legs was broken clean in half and blood had spurted out of both parts.

"That thing's huge," Ino said with boggling eyes.

"How big do they get?" Kiba asked with a similar expression, Akamaru whining softly from his place in his owner's jacket.

"Don't worry about it," Nichiren offered placating. "Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei both have it clearly under control."

"It didn't stand a chance," Kakashi eye-smiled, gesturing to a fountain built into the far wall. "The waters fine, I just checked. So if you need a drink, Yamanaka-especially, please go get one."

Everyone went forward to the fountain, Ino first, and several large gulps of water.

Kakashi and Gai stood off to the side, watching the youngsters refresh themselves.

"So Kakashi," Gai began quietly. "What happened while I was gone?"

"Well, Uzumaki started going on a tirade about how he's going to fix everything when he's Hokage," Kakashi shrugged. "He disobeyed an order to keep quiet, so I had to set him straight."

"Like how?" Gai asked. "Genjutsu? Knocking him out?"

"A quick lecture on what being Hokage means," Kakashi replied. "And how he fails to meet the standard."

"…that seems unlike you," Gai blinked. "You don't usually go for lectures."

"It's a skill I had to pick up when dealing with Daisuke," Kakashi explained. "Daisuke's only weakness is social interaction and teamwork. The extent he has is, when a threat presents itself, is to shuffle his teammates out of the way while he deals with the problem."

"That's decidedly un-youthful," Gai's massive brows furrowed. "But what does that have to do with you giving lectures?"

"Daisuke-kun is extremely thick-headed if he doesn't see a problem," Kakashi continued with a sigh. "In order to get him to see and admit fault, you need to lead him to see the problem; often through leading questions and being as blunt as possible. Being subtle simply doesn't work."

"I can see how that approach would be necessary for Daisuke," Gai allowed. "But…Uzumaki?"

"He's Daisuke's friend," Kakashi shrugged. "I thought perhaps the same solution was called for. Hopefully it worked…and with positive results."

* * *

Well, the _Endurance_ Syringe was actually down in the cave system straight, resting on a clump of earth that had stuck to one of the roots like it was glued there in an elementary school art-project. That meant I only had _Charisma_ , _Intelligence_ and _Agility_ left to find.

I felt like Tarzan the way I slid and climbed the roots, stopped only by the occasional coughing fit and fishy-smelling EXP packet. I knew better than to go swimming in the water down below, I didn't feel like being swarmed by something even I couldn't detect.

+ _200 EXP._

2,695 more to go.

The cave was massive, the ground started hundreds of feet above my head and below was water and I couldn't see the bottom. It felt like the village above only stayed in place by resting upon the roots of the forest that surrounded it. Straight ahead was an entrance to another wing of the cavern, like a massive gate to the realm of some comic horror that might drive lesser men insane.

The only way it could've been more appealing would be if they had a glowing…what kind of sign was it? NEON! A glowing Neon sign that said 'Free EXP – Player Characters welcome' mounted on the top. I took my black book out to write this little tidbit down…I was going to need to get into this habit.

Even as my enthusiasm built, the nagging voice in the back of my head grew louder, reminding me that my friends and a bunch of _Naruto VIP's_ were in serious danger. But Gai and Kakashi were there, so it's not _that_ big a deal. Gai had the Gates (something I desperately needed to learn) and Kakashi had thousands of jutsu he could call up at any time. Seriously, they were fine.

And you know, there's almost no way I'd be able to track them down now, and no real way to do so then. Well, not one that didn't involve diving back in the watery abyss. Which…well, even I have limits to the amount of danger I'm willing to put myself in.

Jump, jump, jump! Through the gate I went, sliding along the wall, and swinging from the roots like it was a jungle-gym. I was missing EXP, the Anglers were smart and kept to the water, letting me have free reign of the branches above. This was fine for now, until I found the behemoth. If his area was _relatively_ isolated, I might be able to win, even with the crippled torso.

If not, then I'm waiting for backup.

The cavern came to an end in a large, circular room. Is this the boss room…? I don't think so. It has the architecture but the entrance is too big and doesn't give me the scale of a behemoth. Besides, if a behemoth _was_ in this room, it probably would have come at me by now. So what am I looking…for.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

I saw another tunnel, helpfully dug out near the bottom of the chamber.

Close to the water.

Well, so much for steering clear. I got up the wall the tunnel was built in and slid down it as fast as I could, keeping my eyes peeled in case something tried to jump out. Then I got to the tunnel and something _was_ brave enough to jump out and I planted my fist in its face.

+ _50 EXP._

My world flipped upside-down when I entered the tunnel and I slid on the ceiling. I rapidly turned around, facing the entrance to the cave, sliding backwards as anglers poured out of the water to give chase. If I got pinned on both sides, this would be a disaster.

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

I quickly whirled around thankfully saw no angler coming after me before I came back around to the entrance as I slid back.

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

Eventually, the tunnel ended and I found myself in another lab. I dropped from the ceiling and onto my hands and brought my boot onto the skull of a pursuing angler, making its head explode beneath my heel before I righted myself.

I took a position at the entrance to the tunnel and got ready. If they wanted to throw themselves at the meat grinder, who was _I_ to stop them? I flooded the tunnel with a large stream of Sith Lightning, making the first in line with a spear stop completely short and everyone behind him convulse in electric shock as they fell before my _Unlimited Power_.

…I can't believe I still remember that.

 _+500 EXP._

1,945 left until level sixteen and I can cast jutsu with one hand. I'm excited.

They stopped coming down the tunnel after that, can't say I blame them. Seeing your pals getting roasted is a big turn-off. I mean, I wish they didn't run off, but what can I do? I'm not running after them into the water.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/2._

Hello, hello, hello!

On a shelf against the wall was another syringe, it's purple glowing singing a siren call to my eyes. I rushed over there and…

 _Permanent +1 Charisma._

 _Quest Updated: Scavenger Hunt: 4/6_.

Oh, this was the one. The one syringe to rule them all. Oh, I wanted to inject it right now but…remember the plan. Almost Perfect to Just Perfect. Remember the plan.

Just remember the plan.

I put the syringe…okay, I looked at it for a few minutes. I held it carefully in my fingers and _then_ I put it in the storage scroll. Yeah.

That just left, what? Intelligence and Agility. If I didn't have this quest, I'd probably just leave the Intelligence once here – I don't need it and while it may have the +1 bonus for _me_ , I doubt it would only do that for anyone else I dose with it. The last thing I need is for them to spontaneously grow tentacles out of their brain and assault the nearest passerby. I'd have to explode their heads and it would be the worst bit of EXP that I'd have ever earned.

There was a door to my right, and I opened it and slid through. Another corridor and the ceiling collapsed as I slid inside, two anglers on the fallen rubble. I didn't give them any time to react before my fists blew their guts all over the floor…and the walls…and a little bit on the ceiling.

 _+100 EXP._

I pressed on. The fact that I was in the sewers again meant that there was probably another point it intersected with the caves. I don't think the water levels in the caves would be enough to hold a behemoth, but I could be wrong. Worse comes too worst, I'll probably have to come back and go diving in the caves and fight off a swarm of piranha. Angler-piranha.

Let's see…a door ahead of me, leading to the left and a branching corridor directly to my left that lead no-where. Well, that probably had some sort of secret laboratory. Not like this sewer is lacking in that department.

You know, normally an absurdly spacious sewer like this would be drawing all of my complaints, especially with all the hidden rooms it's got secreted away in the odd corners of the area. Heck, it's not even really a sewer anymore, I haven't seen any rivers of filth since after I got stabbed. But honestly, earth release and the fact that it's ninjas explain both of these things.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

I pressed the false brick in and the fake wall slid away, revealing yet another large lab. This one didn't have any form of surgical implements or tables, it was all chemistry stations and documentations. Notes and cyphers. Formulas…okay, seriously. Where is it?

 _Perception Check Success: 8/5._

Oh, it fell under one of the tables. I slid and knelt underneath it, and grasped the syringe.

 _Permanent +1 Intelligence._

 _Quest Updated: Scavenger Hunt._

 _Find the SPECIAL Syringes (5/6)._

Behind me, the sound of pipes tearing open sounded. I rounded and…ah, crap. It's another big one. Then another hole in the wall appeared to my right, and there was a second one.

This was going to be fun.

The first one charged forward, wielding a massive pipe with a sharpened end like a spear, and I slid to the left, orbiting around him as I got hand seals ready.

 _Mjolnir._

The large thunder-ball cackled as my hands grasped the end of a short chakra-rope and I threw it as hard as I could. With a large, echoing boom, it struck the super-angler right on the chest, causing it to stagger back and its arms to twitch.

I jumped forward and planted both of my feet on the things head, kicked hard with as much explosive punch as I could give it. I went flying back, but so did it, plowing right into the second one.

 _+100 EXP._

The sad part about my Marvel-Movie inspired jutsu was that it was one of the most chakra intensive ones in my arsenal, so I had to wait a few seconds for my chakra to reach full before I could cast it again. The second super-angler had already gotten the first off of him and was charging. I went through the hand-seals as fast as possible and cast another Mjolnir jutsu.

Only for the thing to _dodge_ like…well, that jump to the side was actually really impressive _but that's not the point_! It charged for me once again and I slid backward, just out of the reach of its claws and the follow up bite.

 _Mjolnir!_

This time there was no dodging, it had thrown itself too far forward to correct its position and the ball-lightning hit it dead on the head. I surged forward in the wake of the lightning and planted my fist in its stomach, launching it four feet back. It refused to get up again, and blood was leaking from somewhere.

I promptly doubled over and started coughing once again, blood and phlegm leaving my mouth with every…stabbing…painful…horrific…cough that I couldn't stop. I'm just glad I didn't start coughing at the _start_ of that fight.

 _+100 EXP._

1645 left to go.

Whatever.

There were no other doors, so I left the lab the way I came and went forward. Past the door was a corridor. On the left was a stair-cast going up, but the roof had caved in and covered everything. I could've gone up, but my life is…it's _sort of_ a video game right now, and that's obviously impassable terrain. I'll come back if I find a boss chamber before finding each syringe.

Straight ahead was a large whole in the wall, which led right into…another barracks. This one was thin, with beds bolted to the walls on either side only giving the most minimal walkway in between. At the end was a box meant to contain medical supplies mounted on the right, but the box was open and in the lid that had opened folding down was a conspicuous purple glow.

Yes.

Yes!

 _Yes!_

 _Permanent +1 Agility._

With the biggest smile I can ever recall wearing, I put the syringe in my storage scrolls.

 _Quest Complete: Scavenger Hunt._

 _Completed: Find the SPECIAL Syringes (6/6)._

 _+300 EXP._

Oh, yes! Perfect tens are coming my way! Just fifteen levels to go. I'm at the half-way mark until I get perfect strength, senses…charisma. All perfect.

Why am I suddenly depressed?

Whatever, it doesn't matter. I just need to find the final boss, murder it in cold blood by splattering him all over the boss chamber, then reunite with everyone and everything will be fine. Then I'll need to hide this storage scroll where it can't possibly get damaged or stolen or reported to the Hokage, since people are always spying on me (it's Konoha, what do I expect?) and just never mention the syringes ever again.

Okay, so what do I say? Well, I say I was looking for medical supplies to treat the chest wound, which is actually true. Say it was just a bizarre coincidence that I never got back with my team until after I killed everything. Or my standard modus operandi because that's what happens _every time_ I'm separated from everyone.

Seriously, every dangerous mission so far has been 'Daisuke has an adventure away from his team and they only find him after the fact'. Well, okay…I spent about half of the house problem with my team…most of the Organ Trail alongside my team and only fought the boss alone…okay, this is the only one where I've been effectively alone for the whole time. So, it really hasn't been Daisuke alone on an adventure.

It's actually been really nice.

But it still needs to come to an end.

There was a door on the other side which I quickly opened and holycowwhyareyourightthere?

 _+50 EXP._

Geeze, angler right against the door scared me! The corridor out went straight to the left. Two more anglers were rushing me with those pipe-spears in their hands.

 _Force Lightning._

Both of them quickly fell before the lightning pouring from my fingers, their corpses twitching and convulsing as I electrocuted them until the smoke starting pouring from their scales.

 _+100 EXP._

…ah, that feels nice. Finally, my Ninjutsu is at the point where it does damage and my chakra levels are at a spot where I can use them consistently. Unlike in Skyrim, where when I would run a mage right from the get-go, I'd run out of magicka almost immediately and then I would dance around the bandits like some retard playing duck-duck-goose until I got enough to cast another flare. Then I'd miss and I'd do it all over again.

1195 until I level.

I erupted into another coughing fit because I made myself laugh. My eye was twitching once I could breathe again. Geeze, I'm glad I picked up Silent Jutsu, because I'm sure I'd make myself cough every time I announced a jutsu name.

Down the corridor was another stair-case, leading to yet another door. I slid down the railing and opened it. On the other side was a circular corridor, with a river of filth travelling to my left. Down in that direction was a bed to the left, which I assumed led to the boss since this corridor was built differently than the others. A single, stone platform was sticking out of the water like a plateau. On the other side of the corridor was a door.

Since the boss room was clearly to my left, I walked up to the door and noted the steps going up. I would probably be going up these stairs once the fight was done. Which meant…it was time…to fight an angler behemoth.

I'm kind of nervous now. Excited too. This was going to be awesome. It was going to be insanely durable and was going to take advantage of the water levels inside the cavern. It might even have stealth capabilities; I wouldn't put it past the thing.

I could just wait here for backup. It'll be a hard fight and it would actually be better if Kakashi and Gai were here…or even the Hokage himself, if he's come down here looking for the Clan Heirs.

…and give up that delicious EXP? Pass.

The boss chamber was truly massive. It was a large, circular large cavern, with roots illuminated by chakra-infused algae that stuck to them. I only assumed that it was half-filled with water, as there was a circular plateau just barely sticking out from the surface. As I walked out on the water, I was acutely aware of the hundreds of feet there were between me and the bottom. So aware was I, that I jumped for the plateau sticking out of the water just to get away from that unnerving feeling I get when I think there's something below me.

Now where is it?

"Well. If it isn't the biggest surprise I've had all year," A deep voice, somehow sounding oily and raspy at the same time, echoed through the chamber. "If I had known about you before I started, I'd have had you killed first."

Yup. He's retained his faculties. I'm not okay with this. "And you are?"

"My name…oh, it's been so long since anyone has asked me my name," The voice mused darkly. He's under the water, he's under the water, he can see me and I can't see back… "Very well. You may call me Okazaki Yasutake…shinobi for Kirigakure. Or I was, before I was captured and given to Orochimaru…your snake in the trees."

"Well, what were you doing in Konoha's sewer system?" I asked with a frown, trying _really_ hard to see him.

 _Perception Check Failure: Success not Possible._

Shut _up_ , game.

"I suppose there's very little point in not telling you," Okazaki replied airily. "I was sent to evaluate the security of the Konoha's Academy and Administration Buildings for a possible invasion. I was captured and turned into…well. You've seen my clones."

"Oh, I was right," I nodded with a satisfied frown. "Those were just clones."

"Not particularly intelligent, I'm sad to say," Okazaki replied. "But serviceable. I learned much over the years. I saw that all of the Clan Heirs were put together in a single class. When security was being changed, I struck – kidnapped each heir or bloodline holder I could."

"That doesn't strike me as wise," I said to that, still trying to find him in spite of the game telling me it wasn't possible. "You'd bring the whole might of Konoha down on your head."

"I know, that was the point," Okazaki replied with irritation. "How many of them can breathe underwater? How many of them can truly fight an army of my clones to reach their offspring underneath the rivers of filth that course through Konoha's underground? Then when I was finished slaughtering the village above, I would return to Kirigakure and use this power that I was given to take my place as the new Mizukage."

"…besides me, none," I replied quietly.

"Of course, I hadn't counted on _you_ ," Okazaki sounded angry now. "You saved them before they could be brought here, as bait so I could devour their armies, just…who _are_ you?"

"My name is Shimoda Daisuke," I introduced myself, eyes still scanning. "I'd like to think I'm Konoha's best-kept secret."

"You may be right about that," Okazaki's voice sounded weary. "You must be quite valuable…you'll do to replace the ones you saved."

"Before we start, can I ask a question?" I asked, bouncing on the balls of my feet to get a better view of the water. It was pointless, still couldn't see him.

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

I'm going to need to study these charisma checks one of these days…figure out precisely how they work because it feels like they aren't consistent…though maybe I'm just saying that because it's the one area I stink at.

"I suppose it would be sporting," Okazaki sounded annoyed again. "Make it quick."

"Why did you kidnap Haruno Sakura, the girl with the pink hair?" I asked with a risen eyebrow, still looking for it. "She's not a member of a clan and doesn't have a bloodline…I don't think."

"Truly?" The voice sounded taken aback. "I merely assumed that she did…she has pink hair. I've never seen that before, I thought it was indicative of at least some type of bloodline."

"I think the pink hair _is_ her bloodline," I shrugged. Still unable to find him. Come on… "Most useless blood line ever, if you ask me."

"Of that, I think we're in agreement," Okazaki's voice rumbled in the agreement. "Though, before you die, perhaps you should know…your friends haven't been able to find any way back up…they've had to go downwards. Down towards me."

…oh crap. He's lying. He _has_ to be lying. They had to have used an Earth jutsu or something…though with the cave-ins, that might cause structural damage to the village above…but there should still be a route upwards!

 _Charisma Check Failed: 4/7._

Aaaand I can't tell if he's lying. For all I know they're actually on their way here. So utterly predictable. Whatever, that just means I'm on a strict time limit.

"Quite frankly, your heroics were pointless," Okazaki sounded cheerful now. "Let that be your last thought as you feed my empty stomach."

 _Perception Check Success: 8/3._

 _Agility Check Success: 7/7._

Naturally, he appeared behind me, springing from the water in a massive tidal wave, his mouth filled with sharp teeth that were aiming to chomp down on me. I was fast enough to slide away and launch a _Mjolnir_ at him to cover my retreat, which actually made him flinch as it hit him in the wall of teeth that was his closed maw.

He crawled forward on the water, trying to swipe at me with his claws. I jumped over them and landed on his arm.

 _Taser Grasp_.

 _Lots_ of lightning arced its way from my fingers into the Behemoths flesh as I zoomed from his arm to his torso, causing this massive thing to start to convulse. I jumped off and landed on the surface of the water when it's bucking actually became dangerous.

Okazaki _immediately_ dove beneath the water, and I couldn't see it again.

This was going to be harder than I thought.

It was only punctuated when I started coughing again.

* * *

 _Authors Notes: Eh, not much to say. I will admit that I should've kept more current, up-to-date character sheets for posting down here, since I forgot you guys didn't have the benefit of a forum where you can go back to the first post and look at a document I was constantly uploading. Thanks for your patience, in any case.  
_

 _Hope you enjoyed. I also wrote this chapter thinking Ninja were not immune to drowning. I was corrected with scans and clips from the manga and anime showing Gai staying underwater without being the slightest bit inconvenienced by it. I'm sticking with my interpretation of Ninja being vulnerable to drowning but I am aware that in canon they're...not so vulnerable._

 _~Fulcon_


	28. Less One Behemoth

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Kakashi was rubbing his visible eye, muttering to himself. "He's doing it again."

"Doing what again?" Gai asked with furrowed brow.

The two Jounin were currently staring at the entrance to a cave. Dug through the wall in a room, was a tunnel that leaf to a massive cave system, lit by glowing algae that lined the ceiling. They could both see the tell-tail lures of some fish-men sticking out of the water below, still and unmoving.

"He's going off on his own again," Kakashi sighed. "He's not even trying to find us or give us a visible trail – he's too busy pillaging the hidden barracks and supplies down here."

"He's trying to eliminate threats before his team gets to him?" Gai asked with a deepening frown.

"Like we talked about," Kakashi replied with a sagely nod. "Which, while admirable, is also completely maddening."

"Hard to protect something that wanders off," Gai agreed with a nod of his own. "Right, my eternal rival?"

"Exactly," Kakashi answered, turning to face his friend. "We need to go around."

"Staying in this room is suicide," Gai stated. "A direct route into the enemy base isn't somewhere we want to take these students."

"We'll take them outside…I wonder if your student can see another route we can take?" Kakashi asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Let's ask," Gai said, turning to the Hyuuga in question. "Neji, do you see another way around?"

"Nothing that leads upstairs," Neji frowned deeply at this. "This doesn't make any sense."

"We know," Kakashi said. "Is there a way around the caves, then?"

"I see some more corpses the Daisuke left…the caves reconnect with the sewers down below us. There's another lab down the hall, the entrance is hidden behind a wall. The switch is a brick down another branch, and the lab is large. Past that is another door that goes downward, but eventually connects to the area the caves pass through," Neji reported, shaking his head with a frown. "I feel like we're being funneled."

"Let's go," Kakashi replied. "Everyone assume formation, we're heading out."

The group left, as quietly as they could – they didn't want to attract undue attention. Neji directed them to the rather well hidden buttons to press and the lab door slid open. They moved through the lab, bloody operating tables having long since lost its creepy factor due to the quantity they were in down below.

Hidden passages were opened and they moved into the halls. Kakashi hurriedly dispatched a trio of fish-men before they even had the chance to move by slicing open their throats. The group hurried on, only stopping in a relatively safe lab for the students to get a drink of water from another fountain.

Hisako was twirling one of her kunai in her hands when Sakura walked up to her. "Umm…Senpai?"

She turned her head to look at the younger student. "…yes?"

"I…uh…I just wanted to know," Sakura started. "You seem…very calm and collected. How…did you become such an excellent Shinobi?"

"Well," Hisako started, straightening up just a bit. "I worked really hard and learned how to reel in how scared I am when I'm on a mission."

"Like how?" Sakura asked with a frown. "How do you reel in how scared you are?"

"It's mostly an experience thing," Hisako shrugged. "You learn to tolerate the feeling of panic and dread, to deal with it and not let it paralyze you. Preparing in advance helps a lot, too."

"How do you prepare for this?" Sakura gestured to the sewers around her.

"You train," Hisako nodded slowly, her mouth in a determined line. "You train like a crazy person whose paranoid that some monster's going to come bursting through their room at any second."

"So I have to be paranoid?" Sakura's shoulders slumped.

"No but it helps," Hisako replied. "I said 'train _like_ a crazy person', not that you had to be one."

"I've _been_ training," Sakura groused. "Sasuke's been training…we've all been training. The only one that hasn't been training is Naruto and _he's_ the only one of us Academy students who's actually killed one!"

"You're also Academy Students," Hisako explained, putting a comforting hand on Sakura's shoulder. "Sometimes bad luck strikes and you get hit with a bad situation…it happens to everyone. What matters is how well you can deal with it…I mean, look at Tenten. She's never had a mission go wrong like this and she's still doing really well."

"But still…" Sakura frowned.

"Being in the field's a lot different than being in the Academy," Hisako continued. "Honestly, you're all doing really well considering that. No one's really broken down in tears or soiled themselves."

"I'm trying to save it for when we get out of here," Sakura replied shakily.

"Which is _exactly_ what you're supposed to do," Hisako gave an approving nod. "Seriously, the only reason you should feel bad is if you _know_ you haven't been training as much as you should have."

Sakura's frown deepened and she looked away from the Genin.

"That's fixable," Hisako replied. "Should be easy, now that you've got an idea of what's expected of you."

"I'm not sure I'm going to stay on," Sakura said. "I don't think I can handle it."

"Have you been passing the academy?" Hisako asked.

"Well, yeah…but the Academy's nothing like this," Sakura frowned.

"Well, when you're first starting out it's not supposed to be like this either," Hisako shrugged. "Seriously, this is Jounin level stuff – it's years out. Supposedly. You have plenty of time."

"Yet this has happened to you before," Sakura replied with a slight accusation in her voice. "You said it yourself."

"And that's why we have a Jounin-sensei," Hisako confirmed. "Seriously. Stuff can go wrong, but we have a Sensei who handles it when they do. So will you. And that Sensei's going to do everything they can to keep you from dying."

"Well I don't know," Sakura replied.

"Alright, let's move," Kakashi called out.

Hisako gave her a last reassuring smile before they went back into formation and continued to move.

Down further steps they went, moving through rooms and eventually picking up Daisuke's trail of bloodshed once again. Two of the larger corpses caught everyone's attention, both looking like splattered, charred messes.

"We have fish-men incoming," Neji barked to everyone, causing a wave of tension to pile to wash over the group.

Then the walls erupted. No less than fifteen fish-men, three of them of the larger variety piled into the room. Three of them came from right above the group of students the Genin and Jounin had circled themselves around.

Sakura screamed even as a kunai knocked one off its course by burying itself in its throat. The other two landed safely, only for Lee to zoom in, kick it in its jaw hard enough to send it flying and then jump kick it over the line of students and into a pair of its larger, charging comrades. The final one met it's end as one, two, three Jyuken strikes hit it in the chest, shredding its heart and causing it to fall to the floor with a gurgle.

Hinata, with her Byakugan active and palms outstretched, wore an expression of panic and breathed haggardly.

" _Raiton: Senkai Ringu no Jutsu!_ " Kakashi quickly formed several hand signs and a whirling ring of lightning spilled from his fingers, flying toward one of the big ones and arcing its way around it, zapping and shocking it until it fell over as a smoking corpse.

Seven more of them tripped over a set of ninja-wire that Nichiren had hurriedly laid down, quickly becoming targets for Tenten's expert aim. One of them was attacking Hisako, who was rapidly dodging around each strike. A friend was trying to join the monster, but this one had its throat slit. The first one who engaged turned to see this and also fell to the floor, rapidly bleeding out from a throat wound.

Hisako appeared over both of them with a smirk, the other one having disappeared.

Gai had one of the larger ones in a head lock while he fought the other one. When he got a moment, he wrenched the one in his arm suddenly, causing it to go limp with a sickening crack and he threw the corpse at the final one. This last one was knocked to the floor and Gai leaped atop of it and stomped on its throat.

"Is everyone alright?" Gai asked looking at everyone. When he saw each of them give an answer of some kind in the affirmative, he gave a thumbs up with a winning smile. "Yosh! The power of our Youth has triumphed once again!"

"Neji," Kakashi said. "Can you see Daisuke at all?"

"I can," Neji nodded. Then relief washed across his face. "I also see the Hokage and the Clan heads. They've arrived just past that door."

The group perked up _immediately_ at that.

"Then let's go," Kakashi said, also sounding relieved.

The group moved, opening the door and coming to a circularly shaped corridor with a small trickle of filth running down the center. The door directly opposite of them opened and there was Hiruzen Sarutobi.

"Hokage-sama!" Kakashi said, immediately relieved.

"Kakashi-san," The Hokage breathed. "Everyone's with you?"

"Yes," Kakashi quickly moved out of the way. "Everyone, come quick."

The students piled into the hall and the Hokage wisely moved out of the way before he got steamrolled by anxious clan heads. Especially Tsume and Kuromaru, who were wearing mixed expressions of frantic anger and relief as she embraced Kiba in a bear hug and he began sniffing.

"Oh, you're safe, you're safe, you're _saaafe_ ," She chanted in happiness.

"Mom," He embraced her with equal fervor and Akamaru started barking happily.

"Hey Dad," Ino said happily as she collapsed into Inoichi's arms and started sobbing.

"Don't worry," He said, trying to comfort her. "We'll get you out of here. Don't worry, I'm here now."

Hinata was surprised when Hiashi looked relieved to see her, in as much as he showed emotion, and was _doubly_ surprised when he knelt down and gave her a hug. "…F-father?"

"I saw you kill one of the fish-men," Hiashi replied with a gentle look. For him. "I'm proud of you."

"P…proud of me?" Hinata's eyes were wide and was actually starting to tear up before hugging him back.

Sasuke watched as parents consoled and comforted their children with uncomfortable eyes, taking in every detail with a frown that just got deeper and deeper. Sakura and Naruto, also having gotten left behind, watched the display with a look of longing and sadness. Each of them was tangentially aware of each other's presence, though none of them dared comment on it.

Nichiren and Hisako were simply breathing much more easily now, feeling the weight of their duty lift off of them was one of the most liberating things they had ever felt. Kakashi was just behind them, his hands on their shoulders, his eye-smile showing how proud he was of them.

"Kakashi, I don't see Daisuke-kun with you," The Hokage said quietly to the Jounin Sensei. "What happened?"

"We were ambushed shortly after meeting with the group of students," Kakashi reported, Cell 13's cheer disappearing. "Daisuke was stabbed through the back and dragged into the sewage. Given the trail of blood and mayhem we were able to follow, I'd say it barely slowed him down."

"I see," Hiruzen nodded with a deep frown.

All of their celebrating was cut off by the sound of an explosion coming from down the tunnel, which rocked the ceiling just a little bit and caused the lightbulbs to flicker for a moment.

"I surmise that would be him," Hiruzen nodded. "Hiashi-san, can you see anything?"

"I cannot," Hiashi frowned deeply, having stood up. "Whatever they have been using to hide from the Byakugan is in full force here, and it's maddening."

"We got to help him," Naruto said desperately. "He's my best friend and he saved us all from becoming fish-food."

There were nods and calls of assent from each student and Genin, causing each Clan head to get

"Naruto-kun, don't worry," Hiruzen gave him a kind smile. "We'll get him out of there. We just need you all to _stay here_ while we do it - Is that clear?"

"Yeah Old Man," Naruto sounded utterly depressed for whatever reason.

"Kakashi, Gai? You're with me," The Hokage ordered. "Everyone else stay together."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Kakashi and Gai said at the same time.

No sooner than when the Hokage and two Jounin turn the corner down the tunnel, did the tunnel start to shake. The chamber which the students came through and the staircase the clan heads came down both collapsed in on each other. Then the roof above their heads started to shake and _everyone_ bolted down the tunnel to get away from the collapsing tunnel.

"Oh come on!" Naruto shouted as he ran.

"Stop whining and move it!" Sasuke yelled back at him.

The tunnel collapse ended when the tunnel turned and they found themselves reunited with the Hokage, who sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Alright, never mind."

At the end of the tunnel, there was a veritable rain of water thick enough that they could barely see through it. Each adult walked forward and the rain subsided, revealing a chamber with a stone platform raising above extra turbulent room full of water. Balancing on the water was a wet and haggard looking Daisuke who was coughing up blood on the water's surface.

"Daisuke!" Naruto ran up past each of the shinobi.

Daisuke's head _snapped_ to look at Naruto with an absolutely horrified expression on his face. "No don't-!"

Suddenly a truly massive fish-man's head burst out of the water and swallowed the unfortunate Genin whole, leaving large waves as it swam as fast as it could down below.

Naruto, utterly stunned, watched the waves, trembling with his mouth hanging open.

A deep, reverberating chuckle sounded throughout the chamber. "A fortunately timed distraction. Thank you – he was being quite the stubborn little snack…now don't you all just stay by the door, why don't you come in?"

Suddenly the tunnel itself started to shake and everyone dove into the chamber as the tons of rocks fell above them.

"Much better," The voice replied smugly.

Parents were fishing their children out of the water and Kakashi pulled Sasuke and Naruto out. Hisako pulled Sakura out, throwing her over her shoulders in a fire-man's carry.

"I suppose that since you're now all here, I'll have to actually try," The Voice continued. "This little Genin…Shimoda, right? Very gifted. But he had no idea just how out of his depth he really was…I was slightly disappointed, I admit, when the child who killed so many of my clones wasn't capable of giving me a proper challenge."

"I'll…kill…it…" Naruto's eyes had gone slit once again. Kakashi looked at him with a worried look.

"But alas," The Voice, deep, oily and raspy continued as if he were discussing the weather. "It's time for all of you to die. Here, I'll even be sporting and give you a tip; It's very unwise to stand clumped together like that."

"Scatter!" The Hokage shouted and everyone bolted in different directions as the truly massive fish-man sprung out of the water, his mouth snapping with a roar. As it started its descent back down, it struck several hand signs and inhaled.

" _Suiton: Suidan no Jutsu_!" The monster called and a torrent of water, massive and forceful, rained down upon the party of Shinobi, causing them to scatter even further away from each other. His re-entry into the water was not a quiet affair either as the massive tidal waves nearly sent each of them beneath the surface.

"Hurry, get to the platform!" The Hokage ordered. "We can't fight while supporting our children."

The large group quickly ran for the stone platform and students and Genin found purchase on the stone platform and collapsed on top.

The adults took a position at the edge, the Hokage having signaled the Genin to stay closer to the center, near the students. They saw him far below, his eyes reflecting the light cast by his angler's bulb and providing the facsimile of a smile a frame to barely make it out. " _Suiton: Suidan no Jutsu_."

A feeling of dread started to set into everyone's hearts as the water level started to rise.

* * *

Well, this sucks.

Swallowed alive because I didn't wait for backup.

I should've figured it would have been one of those hopeless boss fights. Especially when I heard the Hokage was coming. The idea that I could've beaten this thing on my own was arrogance of the highest order – I deserved this for my stupidity.

I was expecting the stealth in the water. I was expecting him to try to chomp me up. I was not expecting the water release jutsu or him to use the tidal waves from his entrance and departure from the water to disorient me.

The stomach acid was diluted, thankfully, by the sewer water his stomach was filled with. I mean, it wasn't diluted a lot, but it helped.

 _-1 hp._

 _-1 hp._

I didn't just hurt on my chest anymore – now I hurt all over. The Acid was chewing away at my skin.

This sucked.

It looked like everyone was still alive though, thankfully. Heck, they might even beat this thing before I get fully digested. That'd be nice. I guess.

…you know, the funny thing is, if I hadn't have put so many points into Luck, a lot of those students would be dead right now. Cell 13 would've probably died several times over. It's kind of funny – if I hadn't have taken points out of Charisma and put them in Luck all those years ago, I would've lost some people that were very important to me… the _Naruto_ _Universe_ would've lost some VIP's to boot.

All the time spent cursing my decision to screw my Charisma stat when it was that decision that's saved my friends lives.

The irony.

 _-1 hp._

 _-1 hp._

 _-1 hp._

I might've despised some of the consequences of that choice, but the benefits can't be ignored. That decision made so long ago was, well… _my_ decision. And I need to own that. It's saved quite a few lives and I can be proud of that.

And…you know, it's also funny that in spite of refusing to level my charisma because I didn't want girls to be crushing on me… it didn't work. Hisako still had a crush on me and it likely won't stop Sakura or Ino from becoming fangirls after this freaking mission. While that outcome is positively terrifying, charisma would only serve as an enabler for the two real culprits – Social Pressures and Puberty – and it's not like having the enabler would mean I can't resist the temptation – even though it scares me enough that I wasn't willing to take a chance...

But that's not the only reason for not increasing it. Far from it. It's just the easiest available. The moral explanation. The one I can use to cover the other reasons…I mean, I feel absolutely terrible about the pain I caused my teammates…my only friends…but. Well, they're also the only social contact I really need.

I'm insular. I've always been insular. I don't like being around tons of people for a long period of time. The higher my charisma, the more likely I'd be surrounded by _people_. People that I might not like, people who seem to think I like them because I'm nice to them or whatever. The point is that I like not being _bothered_.

 _-1 hp._

 _-1 hp._

 _-1 hp._

And yeah, it does make it a little hard…okay, really hard, for me to empathize with my teammates, but…I don't know, I just don't have a real sense of urgency about it because…and this is a little worrying, actually…It's really hard to empathize with my teammates. I mean, Naruto understands me almost perfectly. Why can't they do the same?

…It's actually another reason to _not_ increase it. Because of how good my memory is, fading memories of my old life notwithstanding, I'd remember _every screw up_. Every one. That…could be emotionally devastating because not only would I remember every screw up, I'd be able to tell how every person felt when I screwed up.

There's also the idea that I'd be able to feel and understand myself – honestly, I don't want to understand myself due to my status as a reincarnate – if I was suddenly able to feel any repressed emotions about how much…I know I miss my family, as faded as those memories are, but feeling that level of despair that would surely follow? If it _does_ happen?

I…no.

I'd like to put that off until the last moment. Take a couple months' vacation after I get Almost Perfect.

But...I do feel bad. About how much pain I cause my teammates.

 _-1 hp._

 _-1 hp._

 _-1 hp._

So…I mean…if I get out of this…I really need to treat my team better. Sure, getting the extra charisma might be uncomfortable, but is it work hurting some of the first real friends I've had in 12 years?

Well…no. Charisma might be an enabler, but Luck's apparently decided override it as the primary enabler anyway – because Hisako's already got a crush and for all I know, Sakura and Ino might switch targets anyway.

So, unless something happens in the next twenty-four, crushing despair or no, I'm going to get that amulet. Or something very much like it. If I can't handle it _or_ I end up unable to control myself, I can drop the amulet. Simple.

Unless I get ordered to drop the new 'super-henge' or people notice a discrepancy enough to suspect me of violating orders. Then I might need to hold off until Almost Perfect.

 _-90 hp._

SONOFA-!

Only 239 hitpoints left.

Lightning lit up the insides of the beast, revealing the outlines of chunks of…something, this thing had chewed on to sustain itself.

Well, everyone outside is doing a good job, I need to get out – I don't feel like dying to friendly fire. That would be the worst thing ever and…oh, boy. I haven't felt that Chakra in a _looooong_ time.

Naruto's _pissed_.

…just start swimming back up this things esophagus. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…

Up his throat I went, trying my absolute best not to bother in walls because I both didn't want to get puked out and didn't want him knowing what I was about to do. See, I've got the perfect plan here; cut my way through the top of his mouth and destroy his brain, killing him. If he didn't want me to do that, he should've chewed his food.

Seriously, always chew your food.

 _Agility Check Failure: 7/10._

 _-18 hp._

He buckled suddenly, the sounds of some kind of explosion going on outside. Sadly, this meant that he was now _very_ aware of my presence in his throat and I needed to move. I swiftly moved up the throat, sticking to the walls of his throat when he came up for air.

Then he started choking.

Crap.

* * *

The water finally started to calm down, the massive fish-man having turned the entire room into a giant whirl-pool that shot out massive water-bullets, keeping everyone overwhelmed, even as the Hokage had finally managed to hit the massive beast with a strong lightning bolt.

But now, from its spot stuck to the wall high above everyone, it was choking. Loudly. After a few moments of that, he spat something out…something that wore blue, a pair of plated gauntlets and goggles.

Daisuke gripped back to the wall and slid down to the floor, lightning pouring from his fingers as he slid down. He quickly approached the rest of the group and faced them. His skin was burned off at spots, revealing partially damaged muscle underneath. "Good to see everyone's still okay."

"I can say that about you," Hisako was smiling in relief but her eyes betrayed concern. "…the burned off skin is-?"

"Fixable," He replied, popping a pair of blood pills in his mouth, causing everyone who were paying attention to marvel as his skin fixed itself. "I was trying to swim up his throat and destroy his brain…of course that plan died when he left the water."

"Above us!" Hiashi shouted, as the monster jumped from its perch, making hand seals.

The whole group scattered as a huge pillar of water sprayed from the fish-man's mouth and he descended underneath on contact. Then the water started to spin around the platform once again. As the water picked up speed, the platform in the center was left bare once again, allowing the Genin and students a relatively safe place to stand.

"Good to see that you're alive, Daisuke-kun!" Kakashi called from his spot on the wall.

"Thank you, Sensei!" Daisuke replied. Then he fell to the ground when an orange blur tackled him to the ground.

"You're alive!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs, even as Daisuke started coughing from the disturbed chest. "You'realiveyou'realiveyou'realive!"

"Yes! I am!" Daisuke coughed blood onto the stone. "Save the celebration for after that thing's dead!"

"Oh, heh," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Daisuke replied, taking a breath, coughing once more and standing up. "Good to see you, too."

"We told you he was fine," Hisako grumbled with a frown.

"You wouldn't by chance have a plan by now, would you?" Nichiren asked, spooling up his Ninja-wire.

"I tried everything I could think of," Daisuke shook his head. "I tried using depth charges but I kept missing – tried poisoning the water, which didn't work because they do that all the time in _Mist_ apparently and he kept leaping out of the water when I tried to use lightning. Then he'd splash me with tidal waves just to spite me."

"Wait, wait, wait," Tenten frowned. "This thing is from Hidden Mist?"

"Sort of," Daisuke shrugged…still without losing his blank expression. "He got captured by Orochimaru and was experimented on…that's why he looks like _this_ now."

"Hit the deck!" Kiba shouted as boulder-like balls of water shot out from the whirlpool around them. Everyone did precisely that, barely dodging as the shinobi on the walls were doing everything they can to do battle with the hiding fish-men.

Tenten took a kunai out of one of her storage scrolls. Daisuke blinked.

"Okay, I've got an idea," Daisuke said, sliding forward on his stomach. "See you guys in a second."

"Wait, Daisuke, don't!" Hisako shouted as Daisuke slid over the edge and down the side of the plateau.

"What is he doing?" Neji whispered in outrage. "He's…making seals on the plateau?"

Hisako and Naruto both looked over the edge and saw that Daisuke was, indeed, making seals on the wall, black ink scrawling over the side with each seal. He slid further down until there was a seal at each level of elevation. With his work done, he quickly slid back up and rejoined everyone on the platform. "That _should_ make things easier later."

"What'd you do?" Naruto asked.

"Stuff," Daisuke replied. "I don't want to say anything and he can hear us. Anything I missed while I was in the belly of the beast?"

"Gai-sensei summoned the turtle boss!" Lee exclaimed excitedly.

"Nice," Daisuke blinked. "How long did he last?"

Lee deflated. "Not long…the fish-man made a spear of out of water chakra and stabbed Shunmyo-san in the head."

"Right in the hole where the turtle's head goes?" Daisuke asked and got nods from everyone. "That stinks."

Above, lightning crackled from the Hokage's hands, a giant bird made of electricity cried and shot for the colossal opponent as Shibi's swarm of bugs flew in, trying to get past the blasts of water that came out of the things maw.

"You're not going to join in?" Hisako asked, somewhat nervously.

"Nope," Daisuke shook his head.

"Oh good," She breathed easily.

"Nope, I am perfectly content to just watch the spectacle right now," Daisuke said, watching the lightning-bird connect and observing his sensei dodge and weave past massive balls of water that shot from the whirlpool below with a Chidori cackling in his hand. "How was the trip?"

"Eh, it was pretty hard, then we found your trail of corpses and then we only got ambushed once after that," Nichiren reported.

"…you guys didn't seriously go through the caves, did you?" Daisuke asked as Tsume and Kuromaru performed the Inuzuka's signature fang-over-fang, trying to rush the giant.

"No," Hisako said with a mortified chuckle. "Did you?"

"Yeah," Daisuke answered, smirking when the giant jumped from the ceiling above to land in the water once again and the whirlpool settled back into a normal pool…for a few seconds before all the liquid seemed to drain to nowhere, leaving just a dry plateau rising up almost a thousand feet in the air. "And…that's game."

"Where'd the water go?" Ino asked, looking perplexed by the sudden, dizzying height. The ground shook as the behemoth made it's landing, just barely making it onto it's feed.

"Those are specialized storage seals I wrote on the plateau here," Daisuke explained, lazily pointing a finger to the kanji scribbled all along the plateau. "The seals automatically store water inside when it comes in contact. After I drew those, we just had to wait until the giant here decided he wanted a hiding spot and let the whirl-pool turn back into a regular body of water. The liquid hit the seals and now the giant is without a hiding spot."

"So now our parents can kill it!" Kiba was grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Basically yes," Daisuke nodded.

The giant, deprived of his greatest weapon and defensive measure was more or less helpless. The Hokage launched another lightning bird, Shibi coated him with bugs. It tried, hard as it could, to swipe at the threats to get away, but there was nothing it could do…Kakashi plunged a Chidori right into its heart and it fell over with a large grown.

"Daisuke-senpai," Sakura said in amazement. "How long have you known how to do that seal?"

"That particular one?" Daisuke asked. When she gave a nod in the affirmative, he shrugged. "About five minutes, why?"

The rest of the students and Genin who weren't Daisuke veterans were giving him shocked looks. Hisako and Nichiren were trying to hold back laughter.

Daisuke looked puzzled. "What?"

Soon, every adult arrived back on the platform. The Hokage looked at Daisuke. "Are those your seals on the side?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Daisuke nodded, standing up and giving a bow.

"Brilliant work," Hiruzen nodded.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Daisuke bowed again.

"Now, as we have eradicated the source of the fish-men and secured our clan heirs and other students, I would call this mission completed," The Hokage nodded to himself.

"Hokage-sama, if I may," Daisuke said.

"Proceed, Shimoda-kun," The Hokage replied.

"I noticed a door far down on the bottom," Daisuke said, pointing down the plateau, at a small door sticking out from the bottom of the bowl they had found themselves in. "Call me crazy, but I think that might be a way out."

"…is that one of your…?" The Hokage asked with a thoughtful frown.

"It's a hunch," Daisuke nodded.

"Alright," The Hokage replied. "Kakashi, go inspect the door."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Kakashi bowed and jumped off the plateau.

Kakashi landed fast and approached the door, pulling it open. With a flashlight jutsu, Kakashi peered inside. "It's just a ladder…a really, really _long_ ladder!"

Daisuke sighed and shook his head in amusement before he seemed to catch himself and return to his stoic demeanor.

"Well, that's interesting," Hiruzen blinked. "When we return to the surface, your orders are thus – each of you, and that includes clan heads, are to check into the hospital – I don't want _any_ of you, if you've caught something down here, to accidentally spread it to the rest of the village. That includes those of us that can sleep anything off."

Daisuke put his hand down. Hisako bit her knuckle to contain the chuckles.

"Any questions?" The Hokage asked.

There were none.

This nightmare was over.

* * *

 _Authors Notes: During writing this chapter, the strain I was under was starting to show. I think. Because I missed several important details that were relevant in this fight.  
_

 _Number 1, the Behemoth was supposed to spawn an army of those miniature clones that Daisuke's been popping since he got dragged away. The army was supposed to add to the sheer panic and stress everyone was under. I missed it, and to this day I actually don't know how I forgot such an important detail._

 _Number 2, the Behemoth had several alcoves that he fled to in the fight when certain conditions are met, such as when electricity is being used or he needs to hide away. They were insulated by earth, which is why you couldn't see them and he would've required a tunneling jutsu to enter them. I think that those would've become relevant when Daisuke drained the water._

 _Number 3, there is no number three, I just like the number._

 _I hope you enjoyed regardless. Some of you have asked for a character sheet, this chapter was written nearly six months ago and my only documentation is Daisuke at maximum level. Shame on me, I should've done a better job. Incidentally, because I never really got around to describing Daisuke and co, let me link you to some fanart made to my specifications. It starts with the 'H' 'T' 'T' 'P' and then goes...  
_

 _: / / forums . spacebattles / threads / shinobi - the - rpg - naruto - si . 380860 / page - 422 # post - 28902265_

 _Take the spaces out, of course. This site also has the complete story on it, but be warned that once we pass 'The Vault' the overall quality of the fic starts to drop. Sharply. I was trying to write a chapter a week and I got really, really, really sick of all the numbers and keeping track of them._

 _Hope you enjoyed._

 _~Fulcon_


	29. Nakama

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 _ **Level up!**_

I got One Handed Jutsu immediately upon the quest's completion. 9 points into **Melee Weapons** to bring it up to 60, 10 points into **Sneak** to also bring it up to 60 and 4 points into **Fuinjutsu** to bring it up to 76. Once I get a chance to _use_ jutsu with one hand, everyone's going to _flip_.

5,545 until level 17.

…

You know, I never really thought what a dungeon's 'door to before' would look like in real life. But now that I've seen it, I can truly say that it's freaking bizarre. It's just a long tunnel with a ladder going up. The ladder came to a sewer grate that was…just outside of Konoha.

Huh.

"It appears there's an entrance to Konoha right outside the south wall," The Hokage mused. "We'll have to close it."

Gai was the last one out of the tunnel, hopping out and giving everyone a smile that shined in spite of the fact that we just got out of the sewers. Is that a teeth cleaning jutsu? Should be easy enough to duplicate.

 _Perception Check Failed: Success not possible._

The Hokage struck a single hand sign, his hands seeming to move instantly from at his sides to a rat and I guessed from the failed check that I didn't even see the others he must have used. "Everyone move to the side."

We all moved toward the wall. I settled right behind Kakashi-sensei and watched the Professor at work.

"Rock-style: Tunnel Bomb jutsu," The Professor said and the ground around the tunnel sunk inward as it collapsed. "Good. Now if everyone will remain around me, we do need to be quarantined to avoid spreading anything to the rest of the village."

Oh, this should be good.

 _Perception Check Failed_ : _Success not Possible._

…I need to turn those notifications off now that I'm not on a mission.

Again, I didn't even see the Hokage's hands move. One moment they were down, the next they were in a dragon sign. "Quarantine Technique."

A glowing bubble of chakra emerged from the Hokage's hands, the wall falling to the ground around us…did he just effectively create a negative pressure room right around us?

Whoa. There has _got_ to be a way to weaponize that.

I'm starting to think that my seals only sped up the inevitable during the boss fight.

Which I didn't get any EXP for.

…I totally deserved that for just jumping into _that_ boss fight. I was so utterly out of my depth, I had no idea.

The group marched right through Konoha's front gates. The bubble actually changed shape to get through the slightly narrower enclose to keep around the group. The people around us kept to one side, parting as the procession moved.

As we marched, I saw that several sink holes had opened up, plunging the buildings underneath into the dirt. Some of them got whole buildings, but most of them opened up between two of them, gobbling up part of them and the people inside. The worst part was that there were actually angler-corpses here on the surface.

I wonder how many died. We're going to have a funeral tonight…I'll have to find a formal kimono that doesn't give me a CHA bonus to avoid accusations of using the Super-henge.

Silver lining, no shortage of D-ranks now.

Aaaand then I got hit with a coughing fit. I buckled over, holding my stomach as I spewed blood from my mouth with each racking cough, the stabbing pain almost enough to bring me to tears.

"Are you going to be okay, Daisuke-kun? Naruto asked with a lot of concern.

"Yeah, I'll be fine as soon as I can take a nap," I replied, wiping the blood from my mouth in irritation. "If you want my recommendation, don't ever get stabbed. It _sucks_."

Level ups might restore me to full health, but they don't fix crippled limbs. Or radiation poisoning, now that I'm thinking about it. I'll need to sleep to fix this problem.

"We'll bear that in mind," _Hiashi_ said with a stoic face.

"Someone clean that up?" The Hokage asked with a frown.

 _Medicine Check Success: 32/25._

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/50._

 _+75 EXP._

Surprising that Medicine was used to make a cleaning Jutsu. Granted, if anyone would know what the word 'sterile' meant, it would be a doctor. The jutsu was a simple cleaning technique that destroyed cells and germs and someone beat me to it and the blood stains on the ground were gone.

5,740 until I level up.

"Sorry, Daisuke-kun," Kakashi eye-smiled apologetically.

"It's okay," I shrugged. Then I remembered something important. "Hokage-sama?"

"Yes, Shimoda-kun?" The Hokage asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I found some interesting documentation regarding the origin of the sewer monsters," I, taking the scrolls about Orochimaru's experiments out of their storage scrolls and handing them to the Hokage. "I just remembered. I thought you might find them interesting."

"Thank you, Shimoda-kun," The Hokage said, taking the scrolls from me. "We will put this to good use."

"Oh, and here's the cypher," I said, using a writing jutsu I developed to instantly write it on a sheet of paper from my notebook.

"…how long did it take you to decode this?" The Hokage almost sounded nervous.

"About five minutes," I replied. "Why?"

"Let's just proceed to the Hospital," The Hokage said quickly as I heard the barest hints of whispers going around me.

I just broke the game again, didn't I?

* * *

We made it to the hospital and the Hokage checked us right into quarantine. At first, I thought it was a little odd that Konoha General even _has_ a quarantine area – that seemed a little advanced for a General Hospital. Then I remembered that it was made primarily for Ninja who fight against other Ninja who think it would be hilarious if the whole village were to catch a plague and die, so they needed a place to treat them at. Hence, the negative pressure room in the basement. We were shepherded to changing rooms where we changed our gear out for hospital gowns so they could be cleaned.

I got put on a Hospital bed and I went to…what time is it? It's only 1pm? Alright, well. I'mma sleep for the whole day because I don't feel like going through the whole hospital routine right now.

…Note to self – carry a bed in my storage scrolls in case of near death or crippled limb.

When I came too, I saw that the adults had already been released from the Quarantine. They didn't catch anything, so they got cleaned up and went off to take care of business. I imagined that they needed to go calm down the clans and start up plans to rebuild the collapsed portions of the village.

So, it was just us 'technically children' here in quarantined. I was told by the Hokage that I would be down here the longest alongside Ino who, as I expected, did catch something because while she had a scratch on her arm that got dragged through the muck, I got stabbed clear through the heart and was dragged through the muck.

I must be giving my doctor a serious headache right now. _What'd he do this time_? He'd say. _He got stabbed through the heart and shrugged it off,_ would be the answer. _WHERE'S MY ASPRIN?!_ Would be his frustrated cry as I pushed him closer to tears. Or madness.

Or both.

"So…some of your fellow orphans dosed a family of rats with soldier pills?" That was…Chouji? I think that was Chouji. "And Daisuke killed them."

"Yup," That was Naruto, sounding cheerful. "He…likes to take care of problems like that."

I sat up with a groan and looked at everyone, who indeed were sitting on hospital beds with IV's sticking out of their arms. The only one who was currently asleep right now was Ino, and she had _two_ different IV's and an oxygen tube in her nose.

"Hey, he's awake!" Naruto looked downright overjoyed. "How are you feeling?"

"Completely fine," I replied. Then I remembered a social grace. "Thanks for asking."

"So…is that story true?" Kiba asked. Akamaru was gone, presumably getting treatment elsewhere.

"Yeah. Naruto's right, I love to solve problems like that," I nodded. "Not going to lie, my romp through the sewers was the most fun I've had in years."

"You had _fun?_ " Sakura all but shouted in shock.

Hisako sighed. "Of course it was."

"But you got stabbed!" Sakura continued in the same fashion.

Naruto face-palmed. "Daisuke, I swear you get the worst cases of tunnel vision. Ever."

"And then we got ambushed! Several times!" Sakura continued with trembling lips. "And…"

"You seem uninjured," I replied to Sakura with a frown. "And I didn't say it was fun for you, just for me. Delving into the heart of a nest of danger and death is the description of the ideal afternoon for me."

"Daisuke…just stop. Please. Just stop," Nichiren looked downright odd without his glasses. They were probably getting cleaned.

I shrugged. "Alright."

"Daisuke…senpai," That was Sasuke. Sasuke just called me Senpai. That's just odd. "How did you get to be so powerful?"

"Bloodline," I answered with a nod. "My bloodline is like cheating. Not to say others can't get to where I am, they can, but using me as a milestone for 'how powerful someone is' is a bad idea."

"No kidding," Hisako frowned in response.

"He's right," Nichiren nodded.

"So then how do we get to where you are?" Sasuke frowned and glared at me.

"You must train to stoke the fires of your youth to become strong!" Lee announced enthusiastically…can anything dampen his enthusiasm? Probably is keeping the PTSD away with it.

"Training," Hisako repeated with a nod.

"That feels like an oversimplification," Nichiren argued, raising his eyebrow. "You need to train, sure, but you also need a good teacher – and good training partners."

"Right, people who know what they're doing," Hisako nodded. "And you need to be willing to examine yourself for flaws and correct them. That way losing has a purpose and doesn't just make you mad."

"You also need to study," I interjected. "Study, study, study. Learn as much as you can from everything you can get your hands on. The Hokage didn't get to where he was by goofing off and yelling about how great he was."

…Huh, I think that came from my experience with Naruto, now that I think about it.

Speaking of, Naruto's shoulders slumped and he looked utterly depressed.

Whoops.

"Sorry, Naruto," I said to him. "I wasn't trying to call you out or anything."

"It's okay," He muttered with a frown.

Now I feel even worse.

"What do we study?" Sasuke seemed unusually focused on me for some reason.

"I don't know, what holes do you have in your skill set?" I replied, a little uncomfortable with being in the spotlight of a bunch of people. "For me, I don't know any medical Ninjutsu and that nearly got me killed several times due to the coughing fits. That's a hole I need to patch. Do you have any ideas?"

"…my great fireball is too slow to effectively hit the enemy," Sasuke admitted after a pause. "…do I need another jutsu?"

"No," I answered and Sasuke actually seemed relieved. "I wouldn't use it as an opener, though. Better as an execution; something to take out an already wounded or restrained enemy."

"That," Sasuke thoughtfully looked up. "That actually makes sense."

"By the way, Tenten?" I said, turning to the Kunoichi? "You wouldn't happen to have a breastplate or something like that in stock, would you?"

"I don't think so, but we can make one special," Tenten replied. "Would that be okay? You can come to the shop later and you can hash out the details with my parents and I?"

"I'd like that," I said. "Getting stabbed sucks."

"I saw that," Tenten frowned with a nod. "Yeah, we can get something for you."

"Hey, Daisuke?" Hisako said sweetly. "Could you come over here for a second?"

"Uhhhh…sure?" I replied, hopping off the bed, picking up my IV and walking over to her. "What's up?"

Well, she clearly was feeling pretty well because she jumped up and wrapped her arms around me in hug. "I'm so glad you're okay."

I…returned it. "I'm glad _you're_ okay."

"Hey!" Naruto pouted. "Where's mine?"

"Wait your turn," Hisako sounded kind of smug.

Naruto grumbled dirty words behind me and I released Hisako. "Honestly, I thought everyone was dead when you showed up in the chamber."

"I thought you were dead when you got swallowed whole," Naruto barked behind me.

"Alright, alright," I said, sliding over to Naruto and giving him the hug he wanted. "There, I'm not dead and I don't ever plan on dying. Ever. Happy?"

"Yes," Naruto replied, burying his face in my shoulder.

"So, going back to training," Kiba started, sounding a little annoyed. "Anything you guys would recommend?"

"You are all clan heirs, correct?" Neji asked the group. When everyone nodded their heads, save Sakura and Naruto, he continued. "Then your parents are all going to work you to the bone after you get out of this. I wouldn't worry too much about what you're going to do…it's being decided for you."

Hinata looked stricken, the poor girl. Sasuke gave Neji a glare that had to be _seen_ to be believed and Naruto just frowned deeper.

"What a _drag_ ," Shikamaru groaned in frustration.

"Are you seriously moaning about training after what just happened?" Nichiren asked in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Shikamaru replied. "Don't get me wrong Senpai, I understand why. I just don't like it."

"Fair enough," Nichiren shrugged.

"Besides, I think we're forgetting something in all our asking for your help," Shikamaru replied, clearing his throat. " _Thank you_. All of you. Without you we would've been fish-food. Especially you, Shimoda-senpai, because you caught us first and nearly died getting us out."

A round of 'thank-you Senpai's' went around the room. This felt weird.

"Your welcome," Nichiren smiled.

"It's what we do," Hisako nodded.

"Of course!" Lee gave a thumb's up and a smile.

"I'm happy we were able to help," Tenten replied.

Neji offered no verbal reply, only giving a nod.

"Just looking out for my best friend," I offered a weak smile to which Naruto offered a _much_ wider one.

Then…the game froze. A green window appeared in my sight and the contents nearly made my jaw drop.

 _Perk Unlocked: Nakama. Your ability to make friends in spite of your social retardation is almost magical! Those who you call friend are no longer affected by charisma lower than 5,_ It read, bringing tears to my eyes. _Requirements 10+ friends, 5 Charisma._

I…holy cow. This…I…just what I needed.

I was wondering when I was going to get a perk from quests…I mean, I guess this doesn't really count but it gave me the friends amount to get this perk. Wow. Just wow.

Thank you, Luck Stat.

The next day, we were all still in quarantine. Ino managed to wake up, looking a _lot_ better than she did yesterday. She thanked us all much like everyone else did. We all talked, talked about the Anglers…or 'Fish-men' as they've been calling them. Because I called them that at first.

Whatever.

It was kind of interesting because while I didn't change in the slightest, everyone seemed…a little more at ease around me than usual. Even Nichiren and Hisako. It was… _great._ Fantastic, really. I don't freak out the people I care about anymore.

We all paused when the door to the quarantine opened and the Hokage stepped in. "Everyone, good news. You have all been declared clean and will be free to return home in a few hours."

"Yes!" Kiba smiled, a smile which got even bigger when Akamaru ran between the Hokage's feet and jumped on Kiba, licking his face.

"Your possessions will be returned to you shortly, but first I wanted to share a few remarks with you," The Hokage smiled and cleared his throat. Everyone in the room sat up a little straighter. Even me. "You have all performed admirably in the face of almost insurmountable odds. You each showed a remarkable amount of courage and dedication – a willingness to fight for your fellow villagers and their safety. I'm not just talking about those who fought, but all of you."

Each student and Genin perked up, looking at the aged ruler as he spoke.

He took a breath before he continued. "Each of you, in spite of danger pressing on you from all sides, pressed on. You did not bend or break. You obeyed orders and did your duty. Most importantly, you all survived. You have the Will of Fire burning brightly within you, and it's beautiful to see."

Lee was smiling wide. Hisako was nodding with approval and Nichiren was clearly listening intently.

He smiled, a gentle grandfatherly one he probably practiced a thousand times. It was very effective nonetheless. "There may be those among you who desire to give up. Who would refuse to believe they can make a difference in the face of such stark odds. I ask that you heed my words when I say – don't give up. Keep training. Keep working. Keep improving yourselves. Keep doing that and I promise you that when confronted with these similar odds, that you will make a difference. The Jounin that protected you are a reflection of your future. Mighty carriers of the Will of Fire, capable of protecting the ones they love and avenging their wrongs. That will be you one day."

Sasuke perked up considerably after that. Sakura appeared thoughtful as she considered the Hokage's words.

"But if you give up, the village, the people you love will be short one protector," The Hokage said with a solemn frown.

I doubt the Hokage is saying this for anyone in particular – more like he's afraid this experience will have crushed most of them and he's trying to ignite the spark back in the student's cores so they'll have a desire to push forward. An experience like this is like dumping a pile of logs on a fire that's only started. You'll probably put out the first fire, but you can ignite the logs with enough heat.

"We can't have that," The Hokage said with a resolute gaze that passed over everyone. "You, all of you – Genin and Students alike, are our future. We need you. You will be the protectors of our village and I promise you that the next time this happens, you _will_ be up to the task."

"Do you understand?" Hiruzen asked.

"Yes, Hokage-sama," We replied as if we were in a classroom. It was a good speech; I give it an 8 out of 10. Fairly impactful on the room, but it didn't particularly inspire me. That's mostly because I'm already a disgusting game breaker being told that the village needs me. I've heard it before.

Actually, I just had a thought…can I access my black book? I know they've all taken it away from me to clean it, but…I can.

This book really never leaves my side. Well, I was currently sitting on it and while it _felt_ clean, I was probably going to have to clean it anyway before I left quarantine. Just to be safe. I'll wait until the Hokage is finished with his speech.

"Thank you, students and Genin," Hiruzen smiled one last time. "I will see you all when you graduate and are placed in Cells. I know you'll all make fine Shinobi – some already are."

With a wave goodbye, the Hokage left. Keeping my book down under me, I placed a hand behind me and used the clean-up jutsu I invented yesterday. Then I felt the book get really warm and that whole area was now as clean as I possibly could get it, which was pretty darn clean.

One-Handed-Jutsu was already pulling its weight. Since this book never leaves my side, I can just leave it in the room and grab it later when I leave quarantine. I consider this awesome. Heck, I could probably write storage seals in the notes section of the book and store things in there and…this thing is broken.

I like it.

No, scratch that.

I _love it_.

* * *

True to the Hokage's word, the Doctor arrived and told us all we were free to go. We were all unhooked from our IV's and taken to the desk where our gear was returned to us. The changing rooms were really busy as we all lined up to put our stuff back on. I was the fastest since I could summon my book at will and could equip things from the inventory screen. I'm glad no one's ever seen me equip things like this, because that would be a very awkward conversation.

I left the changing room not ten seconds after entering, nodding to everyone I passed. I wasn't thirsty, I haven't been thirsty in years, but I just wanted some water, so I made my way to the drinking fountain.

 _+5 hp._

You know, I used to think water was flavorless, but that's actually false. It tastes like water. And sometimes, it tastes really good.

 _+5hp._

You know, this boss fight was a serious wake-up call. I shouldn't just assume that everyone person I end up fighting is someone that I can beat. And see, I _knew_ that because of the Concrete House Monster and how I couldn't fight that thing. I needed Nichiren and Hisako to blow it up before we stood a chance.

 _+5hp._

So, I really need to work on my tactics and-OHMYGOSHTHATISBROKEN!

 _+5hp._

In my excitement, I ended up taking some water down the wrong pipe, and I started coughing.

"Daisuke are you okay?" Hisako asked from the changing room in concern.

"Yeah!" I replied with a smile. "Just some water down the wrong tube."

"Alright," She sounded non-committal and everyone else looked at me with concern, especially the doctors.

I smiled and gave them a-thumbs up. They all blinked oddly and went back to their business.

Alright then. Well, whatever.

I regenerate health with water. Suddenly, Water techniques are the best thing I could ever ask for. _Permanent regeneration_. From basically everywhere. Heck, with a powerful enough technique, I could make water in the middle of the desert. Make a technique that absorbs water like a sponge and see if it works like that.

It's like I don't…well, I need medical techniques still for crippled limbs, but for raw health damage? _Water,_ baby. Then add Adamantium Skeleton, which while not completely eliminating the possibility of getting my limbs crippled, will make it _much_ harder for that to happen.

I…wow.

I've found my next element. Should I put off getting the Ninja or Paralyzing Palm perks in order to get the Elemental Training Perk for Water? It shouldn't be hard to mix Water and Lightning together either, with my chakra control. I mean, I understand that's normally in the purview of Bloodlines but all Bloodlines do is make a chakra mixture happen naturally…not that it's impossible for anyone else.

For a brief moment, I regretted not drinking water while I was down in the sewers. Then I remembered I was in the sewers and decided that it wouldn't have been worth it. Although a water filter jutsu might not have been hard…

I wonder what Lightning and Water do when they're mixed. Storm clouds? That'd be a cool thing to see weaponized. Ooh, and I'm coming up on actually being able to use the Rasengan. Storm-Cloud Rasengan! Figure out how to make it ranged and call the technique 'Rolling Thunder'.

So many possibilities.

"Hey, Daisuke!" Naruto called from the door, waving me forward. "Are you coming?"

"Heh, yeah!" I replied with a smile. Whoops. "Coming!"

I was at his side in a second and we walked out of the quarantine zone and up the stairs.

"So…Daisuke," Naruto began, somewhat uneasily.

"Yes?" I asked, my giddiness coming through my smile. "What can I do for you, Naruto?"

"Man, you got really happy all of a sudden," Naruto blinked. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"I'm listening," I replied, genuinely curious now.

"So…a couple months ago, I…" Naruto took a deep breath to steady himself. "I told the Hokage that I'd ask you for help. Since you offered and you could do it."

"You did?" I blinked. "Okay."

We checked ourselves out of the hospital at the front desk. We stood in the lobby

"I've…been avoiding it," Naruto shrugged. "It…Training's really hard. Studying's even worse. It's so _boring_ and I hate doing it. Just sitting there, doing the same thing over and over again and…well, I thought maybe I could ask you…later."

"Okay," I nodded to him.

"Then…this happened," Naruto said, gesturing in front of him. "We got captured by fish people and taken down into the depths of the sewers. No one, not even Iruka-sensei could do anything about it. When you saved us…I thought that it was over. Then we got ambushed and you got stabbed from behind."

He took a deep breath. "I thought you were dead. Then I thought you were dead _again_ when you got eaten alive. I couldn't do anything about it...even when I got so mad I saw red; I couldn't do anything against that giant."

I put my hand around his shoulder. That was something I should be doing, right? Being comforting? I think so.

"So…I don't want that to happen again," Naruto took another deep breath. "I don't want to be helpless and watch as my friends die in front of me. But…I can't do it on my own."

I nodded and hummed thoughtfully. I looked around. The clan heirs were already gone, their families having taken them home as fast as humanly possible. The only people left were my teammates, who were talking with Mr. and Mrs. Nakamura by the door, a sobbing Sakura who was being reunited with her own parents…oh, so it's her _dad_ that has pink hair. I made an error, for I judged wrongly. And Sasuke…who was watching me and Naruto.

I was getting distracted. "Alright, Naruto. I'll help you. I know you might find training boring, so we'll find a way to make it…more entertaining for you."

"Daisuke-senpai," Sasuke actually came up to us now. He took a breath before continuing. "…I know you and Naruto are friends and I have no business asking but…I need help too."

"Why do you need my help?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "I thought you were the Rookie of the Year."

"As our latest experience shows and your teammate pointed out, that is a worthless title," Sasuke took another breath. "Look, I…need to get stronger. As strong as I possibly can. I need to _kill_ … a _certain…someone._ And I can't do it as I am. The other students have their families. Like Naruto…I don't. I don't have anyone else. So, I need to ask you."

Right. Itachi. He needs to be a strong as possible to murder the man who massacred his family. A truly monstrous act that I dimly recall having more than a few layers of deception around it. I'll need to figure out those layers at some point.

"So, what's going on?" Nichiren walked up, followed by Hisako. I saw that his Parents stayed waiting by the door.

"I'm being asked for help," I replied with a nod. "I'm perfectly willing to do so, but I doubt that I'd be all that good of a teacher beyond 'here's some pointers'."

Hisako hummed, then she narrowed her eyes. "You were going to ask us to help you help them, weren't you?"

"Yeah," I nodded, the sudden burst of understanding…is kind of unnerving. "Can you?"

"My parents understand when I'm on training exercises," Hisako shrugged. "When they're here, that is."

"My Mom always said that you learn more when you teach," Nichiren nodded with a small smile. "So, I think they'd be okay with it."

That is _completely_ true, Nichiren. Your mother is a smart woman.

"So, when…after our training exercises with Kakashi-sensei?" I asked, thinking about it.

"I think that'll be fine," Nichiren nodded. "We can take an hour or two once we're done for the day, assuming they don't have homework from the Academy."

"Wait, really?" Naruto looked stunned. "All three of you?"

"…so, uh…" Sakura came up now, looking more than her fair share of nervous. Her parents were less than ten steps away, watching their daughter.

I see where this is going.

This feels weird.

"I…overheard you talking," Sakura continued. "What the Hokage said…earlier? About all of us being able to protect our loved ones?"

"Yes," I nodded. "You can train with us."

"I don't want anything like-wait, really?" Sakura's eyes were gleaming. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Hisako smiled at her. "I promise you can become an amazing shinobi. You all can."

"But just so we're all clear," Nichiren stated. "We aren't Jounin-sensei's. We're still learning everything ourselves, so we could get things wrong. This is more like a…study group. Something where we all get together to improve."

"Yes Senpai," Sakura replied, sounding absolutely relieved.

Sasuke nodded with a stoic look on his face.

"Alright!" Naruto cheered. "We're all going to be amazing Shinobi! Just you wait!"

"So, when do we start?" Sakura said.

"Uh…well, if this goes along our last absurdly dangerous missions," Hisako replied, looking up and tilting her head in thought. "We should get a week's furlough…maybe two weeks? We could start tomorrow."

"You guys know where training ground three is?" I asked.

They all shook their heads.

"Okay, meet us at two o'clock in front of the academy, we'll walk you there," I explained. "Sound good?"

This was weird. In a good way, I hope.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: I think it was at this point that I started to speed things along. I didn't mean or want Team 7 and 13 to start working together until Cell 13 was chunin, but whatever. Honestly, the timing works pretty well so I'm happy with it at any rate. Let's see, what else is on the docket.  
_

 _Yes, this fic has mostly been written already. As a result, you guys get about a years worth of writing and work at a daily pace. I'm glad so many of you have enjoyed the constant influx of content. So much so that I may just write a bunch of chapters before releasing a fic just to give you guys that daily, though temporary, influx of content._

 _Also, the Perk that Daisuke wishes to take,_ Almost Perfect _raises all of your stats to 9 from where ever he's at. So if he were to use the charisma syringe, he'd have 2 charisma and when he got the perk, he'd end up getting 9 charisma. Whereas if he waits, he'll get 9 charisma after the perk, then he uses the syringe and gets 10._

 _I don't think there's anything else to talk about...oh yeah. I do read reviews, I promise. I don't usually respond to them, but I do read them and I appreciate all of the kind words that each of you have said, it's...been a nice change of pace from the Fic's later chapters. It's part of why it's being re-written because I noticed a sharp drop of quality and I made some...questionable decisions regarding the fics timetable._

 _Alright, that's it. I hope you all enjoyed and you'll get the next chapter tomorrow._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	30. Interlude: Celebration and Judgement

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

The Hokage stood in his office, overlooking the Village with a sigh. The spots where buildings had collapsed into the ground were clearly visible from his tower, the dust having long since settled. He was once again in his robes, draped over his armor as they always were. Now that he had the plans and assessments of the weak points, coordinating Earth-users to reinforce and rebuild the foundation of their village was on their way.

As usual, the elderly leader was thinking and in this case, his thoughts were dire indeed. The documents that Daisuke had decoded, _in five minutes apparently,_ had incriminated Danzo for assisting Orochimaru in his experiments. If that were true and given the documents apparent timing, Danzo was guilty of aiding and abetting a traitor to the village, insubordination for continuing ROOT's operations and potentially treason.

The Hokage thought Danzo was his friend. Or maybe he at least hoped. But this evidence was damning and the worst part was that Danzo might attempt to come out with all the details of the Uchiha Massacre out of spite…such information would threaten to tear the village apart. At very least, it would utterly ruin the villages trust in him and his family – his son at very least would be denied a chance to teach as a sensei, Konohamaru would never be able to become Hokage. At the very worst, it would set each clan preparing for war against each other, those who supported him versus those who saw him as an enemy.

The icing on the cake was that Daisuke, the villages suicidally-overconfident miracle worker, knew this little piece of information and if he knew what it meant he might decide to go after Danzo himself in his quest to grow stronger – a fool's errand that would assuredly end in his death.

Speaking of said miracle worker, they were due for a meeting in about…

There was a knock at the door.

…now.

"Enter," Hiruzen said, taking a seat at his desk.

The door opened and there stood Daisuke, his henge firmly in place. The Hokage applauded the ingenuity of using a henge to cover-up his gargoyle like appearance, but it still had the disadvantage of being cast by someone with no real idea of how people interacted…so there were still some holes in it. The expressions never quite looked right if you were looking for flaws and he still _acted_ the same – something which could not be rectified without altering his mind, something he had done one evening to his teams disconcert.

His sensei stood behind him, his posture relaxed, reading one of his erotic novels. They both walked up to the desk and bowed, as was proper. Daisuke stood up straight and stared ahead. Kakashi went back to his book.

"Daisuke-kun," The Hokage began slowly. "Do you know why you're here?"

Normally, asking that question was to get the shinobi's mind onto what they did wrong. In Daisuke's case, his obliviousness meant that question was, at least in part, an honest one.

"Because I dove into a hostile situation with no back up," Daisuke neatly surmised, his expression frank and a little bored. "One that had highly vulnerable non-combatants involved where a mistake could have gotten them killed."

"That's correct," The Hokage nodded with a deep frown. "Tell me…what were you thinking?"

"That my best friend was in serious danger and that if I didn't move immediately I would've lost him forever," Daisuke replied, his voice in full report mode. "Given the giants plan, that was certainly a possibility."

"What… _else_ were you thinking?" The Hokage pressed on, trying to keep his exasperation out of his voice.

"That there were going to be enemy Ninja in the sewers and I wanted to punch them until they exploded," Daisuke nodded with his mouth in a thin line. "Past the urgency of 'save-Naruto-now', I was actually pretty excited."

 _At least he's being honest,_ The Hokage thought with a mental groan. Behind the Genin, Kakashi's eye was twitching as he tried to stay focused on his book. "Did you take any thought at all for your own welfare?"

"Yes."

"You did?" The Hokage asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I thought if I couldn't engage the fish at the end without getting swarmed, I'd wait for backup," Daisuke replied. "But he was alone with none of the smaller ones around, so I engaged."

The Hokage slowly and deliberately picked up his pipe, slipped some tobacco herbs inside and lit it. As the flavor seeped into his mouth, he thought, keeping his frustration at bay. This was the main problem with Daisuke, the one thing that stopped him from getting promoted besides the desire to show off at the Chunin Exams and see the faces of his fellow Kage.

Daisuke had no sense of self preservation, and it's been a problem since long before he ever became a Genin. He dove into a similar situation after the first day of the academy, the Hokage remembered. He was an asset that was at constant risk of being lost. This wasn't something he picked up because he was a shinobi, he might've _always_ been like this.

"Did you think you could handle the situation all on your own?" The Hokage asked.

"The rescue or the giant, Hokage-sama?" Daisuke asked with a frown.

The Hokage thought for a moment. "Both."

"I _did_ handle the rescue," Daisuke replied matter-of-factly…and a little annoyed, the Hokage noted with some surprise. "I only got ambushed because we were in one place for too long. As for the Giant…I wasn't sure I could handle it, no."

"You weren't sure you could handle the fish-men's leader, yet you went in anyway?" The Hokage asked, his frown making the wrinkles on his face deepen with each second.

"Yeah."

 _The excitement of going into a dangerous situation, charges into a situation while not sure he could actually handle it, likely handled enemy attacks by toughing it out for the most part…_ The Hokage blinked as a realization struck him. "I see. Daisuke, you will be given two weeks' furlough, just like the rest of your team. For two weeks after that, however, you will not be permitted to participate in missions. Only training exercises and drills."

"Training doesn't help," Daisuke blurted out. Then he visibly backpedaled. "Hokage-sama."

"I am aware of the eccentricities surrounding your bloodline," The Hokage replied. "But you can still learn things like tactics and strategy…things not necessarily tied to your skill at jutsu or maneuvering society, yes?"

"…I think so," Daisuke frowned deeply.

"Good," The Hokage nodded. "Kakashi-san, I understand you've been attempting to patch this hole in his skill set, yes?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied with an eye-smile. "The extra time to focus will be of great help."

"Very good," The Hokage offered a small smile. "Daisuke-kun, if there is nothing else, you are dismissed. Kakashi, if you'll stay for a few minutes."

"Hokage-sama," Daisuke bowed in farewell, turning on his feet with the help of that _very_ useful chakra-slide and walked out. The door was closed just a _bit_ harder than necessary and his angry footsteps going down were audible for several seconds.

The Hokage nodded…denying him missions was an effective punishment. He'll remember that.

Kakashi sighed and put his book away. "It was my fault he got stabbed…I should've been watching more carefully."

"No, no," Hiruzen waved off Kakashi's self-blame. "These creatures have existed in the Leaf's sewer system for years without detection. Getting ambushed was bound to happen. We're simply lucky it happened to the one who could simply shrug off mortal wounds like insect bites."

"Still," Kakashi's eye looked downcast. "…I don't understand why he's like that. How he could brush off his own well-being that easily. It…doesn't make sense."

"Kakashi," Hiruzen frowned in sympathy. "I think the problem isn't so much that he's suicidally overconfident or looking for power…so much as it is that his sense of cautionhas been obliterated by his bloodline."

"I agree with that assessment," Kakashi replied, rubbing his visible eye. "He can get mutilated and dismembered as many times as he wants but he's fine the next day…honestly, I'd say that he doesn't even care when he does get injured. Not beyond treating it like a minor inconvenience. It's _terrible_ for team morale."

"I don't think he realizes the damage his recklessness causes," Hiruzen continued, puffing his pipe and soothing his nerves. "His inability to understand other people might have extended to being unable to understand himself. But the patterns are there, as you've said."

"I think you're right, Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied. "Part of the reason he shut down Hisako's crush was _because_ he couldn't understand himself _or_ her."

"And as we've both figured out, Daisuke understands how his bloodline works _perfectly,_ " Hiruzen said, remembering when Daisuke had attempted to invoke clan secrets. "And he's very sensitive about who he shares the details with."

"I just want to know why," Kakashi took a deep breath. "What's so odd about his bloodline that would make him so secretive? It's not like it could be any stranger than what he already has."

"I can see the point," Hiruzen replied. "His state of mind, however, is clearly not healthy. I would say he's mostly insane, at this point."

"What could've caused _this_ level of insanity?" Kakashi asked, his mask hiding his frown. "He grew up in an orphanage but nothing really happened to drive him to this level of recklessness. I would've expected some shyness due to his social isolation, but…"

"There is a great deal that Daisuke doesn't tell us," Hiruzen replied, closing his eyes in thought. "According to reports, he's always had an adult's sleep schedule and he has nearly perfect memory…it's enough to make me wonder if he was perfectly cognizant as an infant."

"You mean when he couldn't move, speak or do anything?" Kakashi asked. "If he was aware during that period…that would've driven anyone insane. If it's true…do you think he remembers the Kyuubi?"

"If it is true, he most certainly would," Hiruzen frowned. "And it would explain a lot…but this is just baseless speculation, forgive me. Until he tells us that he _was_ cognizant as an infant, we cannot assume that he was."

"Do you think he's aware of Naruto's status as the Kyuubi's jailor?" Kakashi asked.

"I'm not sure," Hiruzen replied. "I don't think he'd have any real way of knowing, but my instincts tell me that he does."

There was a quiet as both men went into their thoughts, trying to piece together a mystery that seemed to have no solution.

"…Hokage-sama, if you'll recall, I submitted a report about a dinner party at the Nakamura house-hold," Kakashi said.

"I do recall," Hiruzen nodded. "The 'Super-henge' he submitted to R&D was fascinating to look over."

"If…it's his lack of social skills that's keeping him from realizing the full consequences of his actions…should I allow him to use it?" Kakashi asked. "Or even a weaker version that's less likely to skew his mind to deeper insanity?"

"Absolutely not," The Hokage replied with a tone of finality. "As useful as the jutsu is, it is still someone who is socially challenged on a biological level attempting to warp their mind to be less socially challenged. The risk of error is too high and those errors can be downright horrific. If there were a mistake in the jutsu that we didn't catch, it could skew his growth and by the time we'd catch the outlying problem, it would too late. You made the right call in forbidding it's use after you learned of it."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied.

"Besides, he _is_ slowly getting better, as we have seen," Hiruzen continued with a smile. "He's improving on all counts and he has said his bloodline will help on a large-scale sometime down the line…best just to let the bloodline handle it naturally. Well, naturally for him, anyway."

"Okay," Kakashi took a deep breath. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"Do you have anything you wish to discuss?" Hiruzen asked. "Anyway I can offer assistance?"

"…any advice on how to handle this?" Kakashi asked with a sigh. "Teaching him tactics almost feels like I'm banging my head against the wall."

"If he's jumping into battles for the sole purpose of getting stronger, show him how thinking about his actions helps him achieve victory," Hiruzen replied. "Show him that strategy will get him what he wants, and he'll come around."

"Thank you Hokage-sama," Kakashi nodded. "I don't have anything else."

"Dismissed," The Hokage replied. "Good luck, Kakashi-san."

The Jounin left and Hiruzen took a deep breath. That…was surprising. Daisuke, for all his faults, was usually difficult to read. But something had changed and Hiruzen couldn't put a finger on what. His social graces hadn't, his appearance was unchanged from the henge…something was off.

Hiruzen sighed.

A pair of Anbu black-ops appeared in his office. "Hokage-sama, we've searched for Danzo throughout the village, but are unable to find him. He appears to have fled."

The Hokage took a deep breath. "Find him. Search the north and south roads. Send messenger hawks to each boarder outpost. He _cannot_ be allowed to escape."

"Yes, Hokage."

* * *

"He cracked a numerical cipher in five minutes," Chōza shook his head in bewilderment, taking a sip of sake from the cup in his hand. "One made by a member of the Sannin, no less."

"Shimoda does that," Shikaku replied, taking a bite of his duck. "He takes the phrase 'the rules don't apply' to a whole new level."

"How classified are the details of his bloodline?" Inoichi asked, raising his eyebrow.

"They _used_ to be an A-rank secret," Shikaku replied. " _Then_ they went on their first C-rank and the level was bumped up to S-rank, just like their mission."

To celebrate the return of the Clan Heirs, the Akimichi had thrown a party in their compound. The _good_ Akimichi food had been brought out. They had, of course extended invitations to each clan as a token of good will, as well as to each Shinobi involved in the rescue. The Hyuuga had arrived full of pomp, but they arrived. The Inuzuka, the Aburame…every clan was present.

Chōza greeted the Genin of Cells 9 and 13 personally, as well as their mentors. The Hokage couldn't make it, busy as he was dealing with the reconstruction efforts and if rumors were true, hunting down a traitor. The Village council was there. Each Genin that had been abducted was there, _including Uzumaki_ , who was unknowingly under heavy guard by Anbu.

The only notable absence was Shimoda Daisuke himself.

Chōza was surprised to see a messenger hawk made of paper fly to him and deposit a message for him to read. Apparently, Daisuke was deeply uncomfortable around crowds and apologized for not attending…that he showed that level of foresight had actually stunned his Genin team.

The Patriarch of the Akimichi simply decided to throw a smaller, private party later in the week that the Genin would be comfortable attending. Far be it from him to be offended by the Genin who rescued his son and heir.

But that made it easier to talk about him to his good friends Shikaku and Inoichi, as they were doing.

"An S-rank as a Genin," Chōza shook his head in disbelief. "We haven't seen madness like that since Uchiha Itachi."

"And unlike him, Shimoda reads across the board as more loyal than he ever was," Inoichi added with a smile. "They day he became a Genin was a bright day for Konoha."

"Indeed it was," Chōza took another sip of Sake. "Shame he couldn't make it to the party."

It was after dark. Paper lanterns had strung up between the trees of the Akimichi's backyard, lighting up the tables filled with food and drinks…those of alcoholic nature were restricted to those of Chunin and above, per Chōza's ruling. People sat, people ate and people talked one with another. It was the ideal evening for the Akimichi.

"Yeah, your son seemed disappointed," Inoichi said. "My daughter too, but I think that's more cause for me to celebrate."

Shikaku and Chōza laughed heartily at that, Chōza slapping his knee and Shikaku rubbing his temple.

"Heaven forbid she gets a boyfriend at the tender age of 11," Chōza crowed. "You'll be beating them off with mind control before you know it!"

"The only thing that would be worse is if she took a look at all the boys that _aren't_ Uchiha," Shikaku snarked. "She'd be bringing a new victim home every week."

"Oh _ha ha_ ," Inoichi frowned. "Just wait until _you_ get daughters of your own. You'll be able to hear me laugh from Sand to Cloud."

"We kid, Inoichi! We kid," Chōza patted Inoichi on the shoulder. "Honestly, we're sure your daughter will make a fine kunoichi."

"Definitely," Shikaku nodded. "So, when did we want to start doing those joint training exercises?"

"I want to start in a couple of weeks," Chōza said with a nod. "After I've had the chance to really work with Chouji and get him accustomed to the higher standards."

"We've been very lax with our children," Shikaku frowned. "Too willing let the academy do our work for us. Too accepting of their flaws."

"We got complacent," Chōza nodded solemnly. "Our children were saved from the consequences but this is a wake-up call…we cannot leave them as they are."

"I'll drink to that," Inoichi said, raising his sake. "To the life and strength of our children."

"To the life and strength of our children," Chōza and Shikaku repeated, also raising their sake and taking sips.

"…so, going back to Shimoda," Chōza started. "Where's he going first? Encryption, R&D?"

"Ibiki is going to fight tooth and nail for exclusive rights to Daisuke's time," Inoichi chuckled to himself. "I know there's at least two ciphers they're still trying to break and then they'll want to make a few new codes themselves."

"He's already been helping somewhat with R&D," Shikaku explained. "Shikamaru said he's heard some of the Instructors talking about some new jutsu they're working into the curriculum."

"More e-ranks are good," Chōza nodded with a thoughtful frown. "More things to learn means more ideas that come later. Honestly, I've been wondering when someone would sit down and invent some new Academy jutsu to supplement the big three."

"I've been wondering the same, actually," Inoichi replied. "Probably because it would've taken weeks to do, and most would prefer to build their own skillset."

"True, true," Chōza said. "But now that's not necessarily a problem anymore."

All three looked up as they sensed someone approaching. Ino walked up to them. "Akimichi-san, Nara-san. Good to see you."

"Ino-chan," Chōza and Shikaku replied.

"What is it, Ino?" Inoichi asked.

"So, I just learned that Sasuke…and Sakura and Naruto are getting together with Cell 13 for training exercises," Ino explained brightly. "And I was wondering if…maybe I can join them in the future?"

Inoichi grunted. "We'll see. If you do well in your personal training, I'll consider letting you."

"Thank you, Dad!" Ino beamed, hugging her dad before scampering off.

"Cell 13's hosting some training exercises, huh?" Shikaku mused. "That…might be a useful tool in the future, if we could get them to help _our_ kids."

Chōza grunted, raising a finger as he chewed a mouthful of rice, swallowing it before he responded. "Maybe, they can. But let's focus on helping our children _now_ before we look for additional resources."

* * *

Ino, for her part, made it back to the area the other students had made for themselves while the adults talked and socialized around them. It was well lit, some of the Akimichi clansmen had strung up some other lanterns when the kids started to gather.

The person they had gathered too? Well, he was enjoying all the attention.

"So I didn't know what was going on," Naruto explained to the group, shrugging. He was actually wearing a kimono, which had surprised her – she didn't think he owned one. "I heard from the two idiots what happened, and how he was cut up from head to toe because of the rats…I almost jumped on them right there for what they did. Then Daisuke came home…looking perfectly fine."

"So that was your first exposure to 'Daisuke can't die', right?" Nichiren, one of Daisuke's teammates, asked.

"Yeah," Naruto shook his head. "I…didn't think too much about it until…well, the sewers."

There were mumbled agreements throughout the group.

"So what was _your_ first exposure to 'Daisuke can't die'?" Shikamaru looked bored as usual. His head was resting in his hand, his elbow on his knee. "Was it that monster house?"

"You guys heard about that?" Hisako frowned.

"The whole village has heard about it," Ino piped in. "There was a huge investigation and everything…I heard it didn't turn up _anything_."

"So…yes, that was our first exposure," Hisako admitted.

"You've told us this story, right?" Tenten asked. "At the buffet?"

"Yosh, I remember!" Lee said with his ever-present smile. "It was a great story."

"Tell us!" Kiba said. "Tell us, tell us!"

Pretty soon, the whole circle of students was chanting to have the story told.

"Okay, okay," Hisako gestured for them to calm down. "We'll tell you."

Hisako launched into the story. She talked about being hired to clean a merchant's house and then being captured. She left out the Genjutsu everyone was put under, but she still got the effect she was after – everyone reacted at _just_ the right time. Naruto actually got angry when he learned that Daisuke's eye had been gouged out and then he was rushed to the hospital.

"When I went to visit him in the hospital," Hisako wrapped up. "I was expecting a heavily bandaged cyclops to be my new teammate. Instead, he was perfectly healthy, reading a book and looking bored."

"Whoa," Chouji said, taking a break from religiously stuffing his face will food for the whole story.

"That is unkillable," Shikamaru nodded his head. "I heard he doesn't need to eat or sleep, either."

"Yeah right, Shikamaru," Ino said with irritation.

"Both are true," Naruto nodded.

"Yup," Nichiren agreed.

"What?" Sakura asked with utter confusion. " _How_?"

"I have no idea," Hisako replied with a sigh.

"The only thing we really know is that Daisuke refuses to make sense most of the time," Nichiren nodded.

"He's not _that_ bad," Naruto argued with a frown. "It's not that hard to understand him, just take everything he says at face value. See, easy."

"Well okay, understanding him _as a person_ is actually pretty easy," Hisako agreed with a nod. "It's more understanding how he can do what he does that's hard."

"My theory is that he's an anomaly from the summons world that got stuck in our world by accident," Nichiren nodded. Then he frowned. "Don't tell him I said that. Please?"

Both Naruto and Hisako were giving him death glares, which he nervously smiled about before looking away.

"So where do you think he gets his bloodline, Hisako?" Sakura asked.

"From his parents," Hisako replied, utterly deadpan.

"It doesn't matter," Naruto said with narrowed eyes. "He's here and he's awesome."

"No one's disputing _that_ , Naruto," Ino said placatingly. "We're just really curious as to where it came from. It's a super-strong blood line that seemed to come from nowhere and things like that…don't really _come_ from nowhere."

"Oh really?" Naruto asked with a frown. "Then where'd the Byakugan come from?"

"The Hyuuga clan has existed for generations, Naruto," Neji replied from his place behind Hinata.

"Okay, but how did it start?" Naruto asked with a frown. "How did the first Hyuuga get the Byakugan?"

Neji was quiet. Hinata also looked troubled, looking at the ground as she tried to think of the answer.

"Exactly," Naruto said, his arms folded. "So I don't see why we're making such a big deal about where Daisuke came from…he just is. And he's awesome."

"I like that answer," Hisako nodded with a satisfied smile.

"Well, the thing is," Nichiren said, pressing on the bridge of his glasses out of habit. "The Byakugan, well, it can see chakra, through walls. It's pretty awesome. Then there's the Sharingan, which our Sensei has."

Sasuke immediately became alert, sitting up straight and looking at Nichiren with a focus that might've unnerved him if he wasn't used to Daisuke's unblinking stares.

"That lets him copy and jutsu he sees," Nichiren continued. "He can track the movements of his opponents _really_ well. That's another blood line. Then you get Daisuke."

Nichiren took a breath. "He doesn't need to eat, sleep or drink. He can sleep off any wound and keep going after getting hit with something that would be fatal to anyone else. He invents jutsu _on the fly_. He has perfect chakra control and is only getting more powerful from there…so yeah. I agree that Daisuke's awesome. But you got to wonder…where does power like that _come from_?"

* * *

Kakashi was drunk. He knew he was drunk. He was absolutely plastered from the party as he made his way home. He probably could've cleansed the alcohol from his system in an instant with a jutsu…one he picked up on a mission to Wave country, to be specific, but…he was just enjoying the buzz a little bit too much.

It was almost like his student had a death wish. The way he attacked problems was bad for his team and could get them killed…assuming his student didn't die tackling problems in his own unique way first.

"Sensei."

Kakashi almost jumped out of his skin, cleansing the alcohol from his blood immediately and giving a headache as a kunai was brought right to Daisuke's neck.

Daisuke sniffed and a disdainful look crossed his face…an almost invisible expression, but it was there. "You were drunk."

"Sorry, Daisuke-kun," Kakashi was only barely stopping himself from shaking as his head started to hurt. "I…yes. Yes, I was drunk."

"I know," He replied, his face almost completely blank, but there was a hint of anxiousness about him. "I apologize for startling you, but I had a request and I don't think it could've waited."

"What is it, Daisuke-kun?" Kakashi asked, now a little worried.

"I wanted to ask you to rescind the prohibition on my Super-henge," Daisuke asked, the toes in his boots clenching and unclenching.

Kakashi blinked and a cold feeling settled in the bottom of his stomach. "Why do you want me to do that?"

"Because as I'm sure you and everyone else has noticed, I didn't attend a large social gathering due to my lack of skills," Daisuke reported. His voice had an edge to it…it brought to mind the image of a small child timidly brandishing a knife to frighten away bullies. "I wasn't comfortable around crowds, especially not crowds filled with High-Ranking Clan Elders."

"But…but do you realize why I gave that order in the first place?" Kakashi asked.

"You think me self-brainwashing is bad," Daisuke explained, blinking slowly. "I can understand that. But...I didn't exactly explain all the details as to how it works for me."

"What details didn't you explain?" Kakashi's mind was calming down to mission mode…his student was seriously asking for something that, if the Hokage was right, could lead to suicide. He needed to stop this.

"The…jutsu," Daisuke gulped. He still wasn't going to be totally honest, then. "Works with my bloodline. It works by taking the part of me, the chakra part, that works with understanding and dealing with others and supercharges it. Increasing it the way my bloodline normally handles the increase of all my physical and mental capabilities. My bloodline just happens to adjust my brain chemistry like I said in my previous explanation."

"I thought you wanted to wait until your bloodline increased it naturally," Kakashi said evenly, trying to keep the edge out of his own voice.

Daisuke didn't notice the edge. "I did, but the fact that I've made quite a few friends and hurt the ones I've already made with my social idiocy has made me change my mind. I don't want to hurt my friends anymore."

 _And they don't want you to go even crazier,_ Kakashi thought sadly. "Well, Hisako and Nichiren have already learned how to get past your social problems…I'm sure the other academy students can do so as well."

"Sure, but that doesn't mean I want to take too long to understand _them_ ," Daisuke pressed, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. "Please. I…look, it's not like I'll even be applying the jutsu to myself. I have a seal on this amulet…"

He produced an amulet from his pocket. "It'll produce a similar effect, but not as strong…so it's not as weird as the last time."

"You sealed the super henge to that amulet," Kakashi repeated, eyeing it with apprehension.

"Yeah," He seemed a little relieved…he misunderstood Kakashi's look at the amulet. "So, all I need to do is put it on…if it becomes a problem I can take it off. See?"

Daisuke put the amulet on and the effect was _instant_. His skin had more color, his hopeful and anxious expression seemed more genuine and his eyes…his eyes seemed sharper and more focused. It was a large leap forward…not quite to the point where he was at the Nakamura's but clearly much better. Then he took it off and he went back to normal. "See, it can work. Right?"

Kakashi barely resisted the urge to grab the amulet and throw it as far away as he could. "Daisuke…no. No, it can't. My order stands."

Daisuke blinked, then his eyes narrowed and he started to frown. "Why not?"

"Because…because, frankly I can't trust you when you say something is harmless," Kakashi answered with a frown. "You have no sense of self-preservation, you put yourself in danger constantly and always get horrifically injured…you say something is harmless…I don't believe you. I _can't_ believe you. I almost think you don't know what 'not harmful' even is."

Daisuke was quiet, his face as blank as it ever was. But his hands…his hands told the story. They were clenched up in fists so tight they looked like they were losing blood. "I'm already doing this for my physical strength, perception, endurance and my agility. I don't understand why Charisma is so different."

 _That…sounded almost rote,_ Kakashi thought with a deep frown beneath his mask. _Like he's heard his statistics said that way for a long time…but I've never heard it that way before. Is that…part of the way his bloodline tells him his failures._

"But orders are orders," Daisuke sounded… _bitter_. "Sorry to bother you, Sensei."

"It's for your safety, Daisuke," Kakashi said, taking the amulet from him when his head was turned. "It really is…messing with your mind is dangerous."

Daisuke…tensed, his muscles getting ready to move to take that amulet back. Kakashi tensed for his student to attack, but the attack never came. Instead Daisuke simply glared. "Goodnight, Sensei."

He hopped the building and Kakashi took a deep breath as the tension that had been building throughout the conversation departed his body in a wave.

 _I need a shower_ , Kakashi thought as he made his way back to his apartment.

* * *

 _Authors Notes:Here's part of the Author's Note from the first draft of this chapter.  
_

 _"Yeah, Daisuke needed to get the all clear before he put the amulet on, or get accused of brainwashing himself again and violating orders. Which is bad. He might've blamed the increase on a power spike, but he's garbage at lying anyway and they've all noticed the pattern of 'dangerous mission - power spike immediately after'._

 _And Daisuke's behavior can be kind of startling, depending on the connections you start making. What do you guys think? Is the Hokage right? Is Daisuke suicidal on a subconscious level?"_

 _The answer, of course, is that Daisuke is not suicidal, just not good at judging possible consequences as a result of healing himself really, really well. Just perfectly. No consequences means he can just keep going on his track until, well...he loses and it's Game Over._

 _Now, some of you have noticed some...oddities. Typos, weird turns of phrases, etc. As a result of posting this on a forum, those things got edited out, but only on the forum they were posted on. When we get to the part where I'm writing new content, I'll likely try much harder to excise errors like that from my writing, but you never know._

 _Hope you enjoyed. Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_

 _~Fulcon_


	31. Capture the Flag: Punked

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Let's be practical about this.

Am I ticked off? Yes.

Have I needed to come up with a jutsu that mends broken walls because I keep punching holes in them?

 _+300 EXP._

Absolutely.

They think I'm self-destructive because I keep walking away from quests with less than 10% of my health and have made their issues known.

Message Received.

I'm going to re-order my selection of perks to… _handle_ this latest development. Instead of _Ninja_ and _Paralyzing Palm_ for the next two perks, I'm going to pick _Elemental Training: Water_ and _Adamantium Skeleton_ for the next perks. Elemental Training so I can use Water Jutsu…hopefully that means I gain the affinity but I'm not entirely sure anymore.

Whatever. Even if I don't get the Lightning-Water release mix, I can still be game breaking.

The main goal of Water Jutsu is to take advantage of the water-drinking game mechanic. In theory, I can just Water Jutsu to create a super-nutritious drink, similar to Nuka-Cola in the Fallout games, that can restore more HP than 5 a sip. The jutsu would also dump it in my mouth, where I would store and use as needed. My best bet, I think, is to get something similar to the Refreshing Beverage in Fallout 4, which was basically a max-tier healing item for no perks. I might need a higher medicine or even survival skill, but it _can_ work. I know this for a fact.

Also, inventing Stim Packs will be a miracle for the Shinobi of Konoha.

Getting off track.

The main reason behind Adamantium Skeleton is an…exploit…that I've got in mind. I've noticed that seals are really good at absorbing, storing and releasing energy. Explosive notes and _especially_ the chakra-theft seals from the boss of Organ Trail demonstrate this perfectly. What I _want_ is a set of seals, preferably written in invisible ink so I don't tip anyone off, that redirect kinetic (thrown boulders, kunai, punches, etc.) to other sections of my body. Even without Adamantium skeleton, a seal like that evenly distributing force around my body would turn kunai into dull butter knives. With adamantium skeleton, I'd put all the force possible on my bones and would become indestructible.

I have 76 Fuinjutsu and I'm _reasonably_ certain that it could work. The only conceivable draw-back would be that the seals would take chakra every time they activated. The check for _making_ the seals was 90, which either meant I can make them, or that's the skill I need to know it's impossible and why.

As for right now, I've got a weakness in regards to tactics. Since I'm horrible at thinking on the fly, I need to prepare in advance. Biggest hole in my kit is Genjutsu, and I've got an idea to fix _that_. See, the Organ Trail boss had these Chakra-absorbent seals. Genjutsu is controlling the flow of chakra in a person's brain. All I need to do is rig a similar absorbency seal to go off whenever it detects foreign chakra infringing on my system or touching a part of my body and absorb it.

…should make sparring with Hisako easier, at least. That's all she ever uses anymore and it's not even the bizarre Genjutsu that take you on an acid trip, they're so plane-jane that you would never figure out you were in a Genjutsu unless you were _told_.

I mean, beyond the self-reinforcing belief loop that comes standard with the Acid Trip Genjutsu.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 76/75._

 _+600 EXP._

 _Nice!_

The seal itself I wrote on my scalp, hidden in my hair as best as I could get it. The last thing I needed was for someone to recognize I had a seal on my head and switch tactics. It should actually provide some protection against Ninjutsu as well, what with absorbing chakra from boulders or flames. Only thing it _can't_ do is absorb directly from enemy shinobi, since that's a system that's self-contained and focused. I'll need to re-write it later as I get better with Fuinjutsu, but that's a fairly good problem to have.

Second…hmmm…

 _Fuinjutsu Check Failed: 76/90._

Well, I need a seal to store all the excess chakra. I was wondering since Storage seals already warp space-time (I don't think the answer as to _how_ is out there, sadly), if there was a way to make a seal that stored _infinite_ chakra. Well, I don't know but in theory it should be possible. I'll just make a temporary seal around the Chakra Defense Network and rewrite it when I devise a better one.

 _+150 EXP_.

And I have plans to stop by Tenten's to plan out a chest plate. Optimistically, it should offer 30% damage resistance, bringing up my total DR to 70%. Then, combined with the Adamantium Skeleton and accompanying seals, I shouldn't be coming close to almost dead again any time soon.

Now…to get Adamantium Skeleton first or to get Elemental training first?

…getting Water Techniques means healing _and_ nukes. That's what I'll get next.

And…yeah, furlough's still suck but at least inventing jutsu can fill the time. So can Taijutsu techniques, now that I think about it. What's that thing Rock Lee did? With the spinning, someone upside down, driving their head into the concrete at maximum speed? Yeah, that. That's a technique. Might take some more creativity than Jutsu, but it's still a source of experience.

How long until morning?

Six hours?

 _Fine._

Alright, I've cleared the changes to my plans off the docket…what else is there.

Oh, right. The big one. Sorting out the charisma problem.

So, the Charisma problem is bizarre. I've noticed that if a situation requires any degree of internal awareness or understanding of a situation, those checks are higher than 4. Always. But if it's just getting someone's attention or letting my appearance or the sound of my voice do the work, it's within the check of 4. Usually.

What does this _mean_?

Well, from what I can gather, it means that SPECIAL bonuses are faceted, which makes sense. I can't expect a henge that only improves my looks to also enhance my social understanding. However, the dinner party with Nichiren's folks with the chakra suit showed that there was some sort of threshold – a spot where the score stops only improving one area and helps the neglected area. So, what's the threshold? 5? Anything after 5 actually helps with my problem? That seems right.

So, that begs the question of whether the amulet would actually have helped my problem or would it have gone towards my appearance. Would I need something that applies a bonus of _2_ charisma to get the benefit I want? I _think_ so. Of course, that also asks the question as to whether the amulet was a faceted bonus…I mean, I know the henge is, but is the amulet? Does it offer a bonus to social understanding? Was it even worth getting pissed off at Kakashi for stealing my things and treating me like a head case-

…oh, great. I made another hole in the wall.

Rat, Horse, Dragon…

As the wall fixed itself up, I went back to my musings whilst hanging from the ceiling.

Whatever.

At least I've made plans to reduce my chances of dying. I may heal from damage, but it still hurts and almost dying still sucks. Honestly, I'm surprised my lucks held out as much as it did, progressing further without improving my defense was honestly starting to feel suicidal.

Now to start making preparations for the training exercise everyone's going to do.

* * *

The Academy was _surrounded_ by Chunin and Jounin. Most I didn't recognize, but some of them...is that Anko?

She was laying against the concrete wall of the academy, still in her trench coat and talking with a Chunin I didn't recognize.

I…huh. She has purple hair. It's dark, but it's definitely purple.

Maybe I should rethink 'pink hair is blood line'. I mean, it doesn't matter, the only guy I told that too is dead, but I'm just saying. I shouldn't repeat it and look like an idiot. I mean, I already look like an idiot but…

Whatever.

I was early, of course. I didn't want to sit too close to the doors, so I picked a bench across the street and sat down. Tapping my foot.

Of course, school is cancelled. The floor could cave in at any moment and rabid anglers could come pouring in to eat your children. No one wanted that, and the clans would want some alone time with their heirs to train them almost dead before school started back up.

Which was also the length of my furlough and 'mission grounding'.

Odd coincidence, that.

Hmmm…Chasing Shadows is still burning a hole in my book. I'll need to get that fixed soon. Exact step I'm on is 'learn Kage Bunshin before Naruto graduates', with an optional one to learn the Mass Shadow Clone in the same time frame. To be honest, I've got plenty of time. Graduation not until May and its only September. If I can clear up the whole 'self-destructive' crap that's sprung up, my Chunin exams will be in December up in Suna.

No snow for me.

I feel sad, even though it doesn't snow in _Leaf_ either. I _miss_ Snow. The white blanket of dreams turning the dreary normal life into a winter wonder land, being beautiful and causing traffic accidents from November to March in some areas.

… _I miss snow._

Using the Wait command usually made a poor impression and I've _never_ used wait when waiting on Naruto, so…I just sat there. Patiently. It's not like I was bored, I had a vivid imagination. Not a particularly cohesive one, but a vivid one nonetheless.

First one to arrive was Sasuke, believe it or not, he walked up to the academy gates from the east side. The bench I was sitting on was on a road down the south. Sasuke looked around and I waved at him. He saw me and marched over.

"…Good morning," Sasuke said with a bow, trying to be cordial. "Senpai."

"Good morning," I said back. "How'd you sleep?"

"Alright," Sasuke answered with a

"You know you can sit down, right?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "I don't make just _anyone_ explode."

"…Right," Sasuke finally replied, taking a seat on the bench. "What sort of training are we doing today?"

"A training exercise to see where everyone's at," I shrugged. "Should be fun. Once we've got a better idea of everyone's general skill level, we can start working on improvements."

Sasuke nodded, leaning forward and steepled his fingers. "So…I heard that your Jounin Sensei has the Sharingan."

"You'd be correct," I replied.

Sasuke was quiet for a minute. "How did he get it?"

"I don't know," I really didn't. I know it was explained at some point – he had a teammate who was Uchiha, he died...but he really hadn't died and was now a member of the Akatsuki? And acted like a moron? But the exact details of the transplant eluded me. "Sorry."

Sasuke took a breath and didn't say anything.

Okay then.

My teammates showed up next, talking as they walked up the south road. I waved them over, we exchanged greetings. Sasuke _almost_ simply greeted them with a grunt before he stood and gave them a very _formal_ greeting before sitting back down into the same pose.

"So, you get everything ready for the training exercise?" Hisako asked me.

"Yeah, I got everything we need in this scroll," I said, bringing the scroll up for everyone to view. "It should be fun."

"I hope it's as informative as you hope, Senpai," Sasuke said with a raised eyebrow.

"You were hoping we'd just dive into training, huh?" Hisako asked with a grin.

"The sooner we start training, the better," Sasuke replied, sitting up straight.

"The exercise will be worth it," Nichiren nodded. "Promise. Besides, you'll get a chance to use all the skills you've been building up."

Sasuke didn't say anything, just shrugging.

Next came Sakura, coming down the west road. Hisako called and waved her over. She had a backpack, actually, like she was expecting a camping trip of some kind.

"Sakura, you realize the exercise is going to be done and over with before the day is done, right?" I asked with a grin. "We're not going camping."

"Oh, I know, Senpai," She nodded vigorously. "I just didn't want to get caught unprepared."

"That's the right attitude," Hisako nodded.

"Paranoia's only paranoia if you're not a ninja," Nichiren supplemented. "Then it's just common sense. Seriously, this is good thinking. What'd you bring?"

"Well, I brought some blood pills and rations," Sakura had a nervous grin on her face as she unshouldered the bag and unbuckled the top. "Extra shuriken and kunai…some paper for explosive notes, Ninja wire. Lots of equipment my parents let me use."

"Excellent," I nodded, examining the contents.

"Thank you, Senpai," Sakura's smile seemed more at ease now. Huh. Was she really that nervous about this?

That of course meant that the last person to arrive was Naruto…and he was late. Only five minutes, so it wasn't that bad, but he came tearing down the south road so fast he missed us completely.

"Aw, man!" Naruto shouted at the academy gates. "They already left!"

"We're over here!" I called to him, waving a hand.

"Oh!" Naruto, before speeding over here. "Sorry I'm late. I overslept."

"It's all good," I stood up, smiling. "Five minutes ain't that big a deal. To me. Let's go."

"Daisuke, five minutes is about how long it took for everyone to get snatched," Hisako said with a frown.

"Oh just _kill_ the mood, why don't you?" My eye twitched as I saw Naruto deflate. "Oh… seriously, look what you did!"

"I'm just saying that being late can be a serious problem," Hisako said with her hands up in a placating gesture.

"It's okay, Daisuke," Naruto, getting a determined look on his face. "She's got a point."

I took a breath. "If you say so."

* * *

Training ground 3 was always my favorite. I mean, I've gone up the gamut from ground 1 to ground 12, but number three just had that _serene_ feel too it, when people weren't tossing fireballs at each other. There was a lake, the trees seemed still and quiet and the gravestone really set the _peaceful_ tone. As opposed to Training Ground 44, which made me salivate in anticipation but I was utterly and completely banned from even going within 22 training grounds of it because it was restricted to Chunin.

I mean, it was also because I'd run in there and not come out until I was 50. The stuff I can kill in there is literally endless, according to stuff I heard about it. Kakashi was telling us about it after the Organ Trail and I _guess_ got this look on my face because his eye got really wide and he said that it was restricted to Chunin.

Anyway, we started over by the lake and I took out the storage scroll.

"You guys ready?" I asked.

Everyone gave nods of assent and I shrugged.

"Alright, who here's played capture the flag?" I asked, taking the scroll and unsealing its contents. A trio of balls, made like marbles but the size of bowling balls were neatly set on the scroll. I almost went with actual flags, but there were much more durable and would keep up with Shinobi and their fireball throwing, mountain exploding ways.

Everyone raised their hand.

"Good. So, here's what we're going to do," I said. "We'll split off into three teams, one member of Cell 13 with one academy student. Each will have one of these balls and will hide it away in their section of the training ground as best as they can. In order to win, one team must bring all three balls to this spot."

To emphasize _this spot_ , I used an earth jutsu to create a platform or earth that rose from beneath my feet. I used two hands for it, even if I didn't need too because I didn't feel like revealing I only needed on hand. Yet.

"If we meet, we fight – we don't need to win, it could just be hit and run," I explained. "Bringing all three balls to this location is the only win condition. No hiding your ball on _either_ of your persons and no severe injuries. Unless it's me – because let's be honest, that's the only way you'll get me off your tail. Understood?"

They all nodded their heads.

"Okay, teams are as follows, Naruto and Nichiren-" I started.

"What?" Naruto looked shocked. "Why?"

"Because you and Nichiren possess similar skill sets," I replied. I _had_ thought about this. Naruto needs to start using his trap making skills and Nichiren's a trap specialist. It was a match made in heaven. "Seriously, the guy has got a lot to teach you."

"But I want to be on a team with _you,_ " Naruto whined.

"That's not what you _need_ right now," I frowned. "We can be on a team next time, okay?"

Naruto frowned, and stuck his lip out in a pout. " _Fine_."

"Cool," I nodded. "The other two teams will be Hisako and Sasuke and Sakura and me. Any questions?"

"Why me and Sasuke?" Hisako asked.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/7._

She's just barely hiding a frown. Is she upset about something?

"Because you're a highly skilled fighter with a sneaky streak and the ability to adapt to your situation," I surmised with a nod. "With the…you have the Sharingan, right?"

" _Yes_ ," Sasuke's eyes became red. I had seen them in the sewers, but I had to be sure. He seemed proud of himself. "I have the Sharingan."

"Good. I'm hoping that adaptability will rub off on him so it'll be easier for him to use jutsu he appropriates out in the field," I explained. "Make sense?"

"Okay, about you and Sakura?" Now just a hint of an edge.

I blinked and turned to the student in question. "Sakura, correct me if I'm wrong, but would you say you're in the weakest position, here?"

"Yes," She nodded. "Sasuke could breathe fireballs, Naruto killed a couple of them and I did…nothing."

"There's your answer," I said, summing that up. "Weakest student counterbalanced by the strongest Genin. Does that make sense?"

"Sure," Hisako shrugged, still seeming just a bit upset.

Whatever.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"What happens if two teams bring the balls to the center at the same time?" Sasuke asked with a frown.

"They'd fight it out," I replied. "But I seriously doubt that'll actually happen."

I don't know how that would happen unless two of the teams agreed to an alliance.

No one else had any objections.

"Alright, I think fifteen minutes should be enough time to prepare," I said. "Good luck, everyone and have fun."

 _Quest Added: Training Exercise: Capture the Flag!_

 _Gather the Balls: (0/3)._

 _Bring them to the center._

 _Don't let one of the other teams win._

Well. Alright, then! MOAR EXP!

And training exercises count as a radiant quest, if I'm not mistaken. Take that, Hokage's mission ban!

Jerk.

Sakura and I split off for the trees.

 _Perception Check Failure: Success not possible._

We had an audience. I couldn't see them, but I had this earie feeling like we were all being watched. I guess it made sense, but it was still annoying. That, and the failed check right out of nowhere. Actually, that's mostly it.

Whatever.

Sakura and I ran down into the trees.

"I think this should be a good spot," I said, taking the ball and the empty storage scroll.

Sakura was panting heavily, hands on her knees.

I sealed the ball back into the scroll and looked for a good hiding place…I used an earth jutsu to make a small opening underneath the roots of one of the giant trees and slid the scroll underneath.

Sakura was still panting. I raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," She said, nodding. "Just…haven't been training as much as I should have."

"Oh, okay," I was confident she didn't need any further reminder as to why training was important. "So, we've got fifteen minutes to get ready and I need to kill time. What would you say are your strengths?"

"I, uh…I don't know," She shrugged with a frown. "I mostly just study really hard."

"What did they praise in the academy?" I pressed. I knew she had excellent chakra control and I think she could really use the tree-walking jutsu right about now. But I didn't know _IC_ , so I needed her to tell me.

"Uh…well, I pass all the tests pretty easily," Sakura replied with a frown. "Oh! And I've got great chakra control!"

 _Thank you_. "Okay, so do you want to learn how to stick to walls? You just need good chakra control."

She blinked and smiled. "Sure!"

If memory _serves_ , she got this jutsu on her first try. It should help her out if the pattern holds true now, in spite of the fact that she's a year out from graduation.

"Okay, so, remember the leaf exercise where they have you stick a leaf to your fingers with chakra?" I asked, putting a foot on the tree trunk. "It's like that."

Sakura blinked, then her eyes got wide as it clicked with her. "That's…it? That's all it is?"

"As long as you have enough chakra, yes," I nodded, pulling myself onto the tree and sliding off. "If you don't have enough, you'll slide off."

…oh crap, I didn't think about that. Does she have the chakra to stick?

She put a foot on the tree…then another. She _squealed_ like a fangirl, only to start sliding down as gravity started to assert itself.

Ow, my ears. I caught her and set her on the ground. "Alright, well…I'd just practice that for a while. Sticking to walls is awesome."

"I don't have enough chakra?" Sakura asked with a frown.

"I'd use it as a training method, actually," I replied. "Bring those chakra levels up to a respectable level, you know?"

"Yeah," She sighed. "So…are we going to do anything else to hide the scroll? It doesn't look all that safe?"

"I haven't thought of anything," I replied truthfully. "I actually stink at strategy, something that makes my Sensei pull his hair out."

"Wait, really?" Sakura blinked.

"Yes, really," I nodded. "Any suggestions?"

"Well…" Her eyes narrowed as she thought. "Do you have any more scrolls?"

"I carry a bunch of empty ones around, yes," I replied with a nod, producing said scrolls. Turns out, as long as a scroll isn't storing anything, it's basically inert and can be carried around in another storage scroll. "Why?"

"Can we leave them around here?" Sakura asked, tapping her lips with a finger. "Like, as decoys?"

"…yes," I nodded. "We can absolutely do that."

That was a brilliant plan, actually. Right up there with transcribing Harry Potter from memory and a seal that produces Root Beer. So, we got to work. I had fifteen other scrolls on me and we got to work hiding them.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 76/75._

I know I'm a friend of Naruto's because I checked if it was possible to store _jutsu_ in these scrolls and proceeded to store a Water jutsu that would spray those unlucky enough to unseal the contents.

It's like an exploding note, but for a water-war.

"So…how does that work?" Sakura asked as I slid the final scroll into its hiding spot beneath a bird's nest. "The inventing jutsu and seals on the fly?"

"Honestly, I think anyone could do it if they've had enough practice at it," I said, dropping to the ground. "A lot of it is just understanding the way hand signs manipulate your chakra – feeling how your chakra changes with each one."

She actually took out a pen and notepad. "Go on."

I blinked. "Well, each sign primes your chakra to act in a certain way-"

I made sure to keep my explanation to ten minutes. I really did. She took _extensive_ notes, much the same way those at R &D did when I offered these explanations. I wonder how much good it actually _does_ them, I haven't heard of any results coming from them…I need to ask about that next time I'm hauled over there.

"…and once you've hit that point, manipulating chakra like that should be instinctive or rote," I finished, nodding. "Make sense."

"Uh…." Sakura blinked, looking over her notes. "I think so?"

"How much of that went over your head?" I asked with a frown. I wasn't surprised, she was eleven. But I was still somewhat annoyed in any event.

"…a lot," She finally admitted with a blush. "But I'll try to do the exercises you mentioned, though. It'll make more sense, then, right?"

"It should," I replied. "And…yeah, it's about time to start. Let's go."

"Alright," Sakura replied, following after me.

The forest was quiet, save for Sakura's footsteps. Mine were only quiet because I raised my sneak to an acceptable level…you know, with all the points into Melee weapons, it might be good to get a weapon of some kind. It's be nice to switch things up and weapons _can_ be effective. I mean, look at Tenten. She's _all about weapons_. It's what she lives for.

 _Genjutsu Absorbed._

Ah, good to see my CDN is working as intended.

Sakura started freaking out, though. I grabbed her by the shoulder. "Kai!"

She calmed down immediately. "What was that?"

"A Genjutsu," I replied with a frown. "It's one of Hisako's favorites…she presents herself as jumping on you and she's an unstoppable Taijutsu beast while she sneaks around and guts you. Or in this case, render you unconscious."

"It didn't work on you because you're such a good shinobi?" Sakura asked.

"No, usually she always gets me," I replied with a nod. "I just set up a countermeasure ahead of time."

 _Perception Check Failed: 8/9._

I thought I heard a whispered curse, but I couldn't place it.

"You set up a counter measure?" Sakura asked with a curious frown.

"A seal," I replied. "Absorbs chakra when it comes into my system. Genjutsu almost killed me once and so I started to do something about it."

"You did something about it now?" Sakura asked. "How long ago was this Genjutsu?"

"A couple months, why?" I asked.

"That seems…delayed," Sakura blinked then she started. "I don't mean any disrespect, Senpai."

"Uh…it's fine?" I said with a frown. "I got a lot of improvements to make. I just couldn't do what I did before now."

"Oh. Alright, Senpai," Sakura nodded with a smile.

"Now where did they go…" I wondered aloud.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

"They're gone, and I can't see their trail," I frowned. "They were up in the trees…guess I decided to go for the ball instead. Smart. Do you see anything?"

"No, Senpai," Sakura replied, looking up where I was.

"Though that's odd they've come this way," I mused aloud. "I thought Naruto and Nichiren had taken over this stretch of the forest. But I don't see any traps."

"Naruto's an easy target," Sakura explained.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Uh…see, he cuts class constantly and never studies…he's a _terrible_ student," Sakura stuttered through that entire sentence. "So, Sasuke might've wanted to go after him because of it…they might already have their ball."

"I _seriously_ doubt that," I replied with a frown. "Nichiren's an artist with traps and Naruto's got a similar skill set with his pranks…I think they took a look at where the ball is and went 'nope'."

"I-if you say so, Senpai," Sakura frowned.

"Let's keep going," I said, beckoning her forward.

As we moved, the quiet started to grate on me. I was right, Nichiren and Naruto were both trap experts. Which could mean _anything_ could jump out at us.

 _Perception Check Failure: 8/9._

Those constant checks did _not_ help matters. I was gritting my teeth in anticipation, the anxiety almost making me stop completely. But I pressed forward, until…we came to it.

"Oh my," Sakura breathed.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

It was like a hallway of trees and the ball, yellow in its core, standing on a stump and cradled by a stone stand was at the end, the picture complete by a pillar of light shining through a hole in a canopy. In between us and the ball was a _spider web_ of ninja wire and I could see that while not all of them were linked to traps…a lot of them were. There were paint launchers, other nefarious traps and triggers tucked away in the branches.

"Well," I nodded to myself. "They've really outdone themselves."

"I think Hisako-senpai and Sasuke-kun decided to save this for later," Sakura said, looking at the hall of traps with wide eyes.

"I agree," I nodded. "But you know what my favorite part of coming across a trap is?"

"What?" Sakura asked with a frown.

"Springing it," I said, taking a careful step forward over a trip wire.

Sakura took a sharp breath as she watched me move forward.

I slid around the ground, stepped cautiously over wires and went up tree trunks. Clever pranksters they were, Nichiren and Naruto managed to set up traps along the trees. But I still stepped over.

…I wonder if I can balance on one of the wires…nah.

In that thought, as I tried to step over the wire…I succeeded. But…I also accidentally stepped on a hidden wire that I didn't see there.

 _Perception Check Failure: 8/9._

The worst part about perception checks is that they let me know they failed _after_ it would've been useful to know.

When I pressed on the wire, the paint launched it was connected too fired its balloons. But it also set off _all of the other traps in the area_. Paint went _everywhere_ , the bark on the trees in _several different areas_ stripped off, including the one under my feet.

 _Agility Check Failure: 7/8._

I failed to stick back on the tree in time and fell to the ground and found myself utterly coated in paint…and feathers. Yeah.

It was over as fast as it started and I stood up, laughing.

"Are you alright, Daisuke-Senpai?" Sakura called.

I was coated in paint and feathers, and I was laughing. "Yeah, I'm fine. Well, at least we know what to expect now. You?"

"I got splattered, but yes," Sakura said and I noted a splotch of white paint on the bottom of her dress. "I'm okay."

I cleaned myself up with a jutsu and felt a nudge on my foot. The ball had come off the pedestal and rolled through the paint and came out unmarked. "Still got it, though!"

"That's good," Sakura smiled.

I kneeled down and picked up the orb, noting how it wasn't stained at all…then it disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving a brown piece of paper in my hand instead.

 _Daisuke_ , The note read. _Tunnel vision gets you killed. N &N._

* * *

 _Authors Notes: ...not much to say, here. Just a breather-arc while we get things rolling again.  
_

 _Hope you enjoyed it regardless._

 _~Fulcon_


	32. Capture the Flag: Failure

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"Alright, spit it out," I said with a raised eyebrow.

"Spit what out?" Sakura asked with a frown.

"You've had an annoyed face for the past five minutes since the trap thing," I replied as we kept walking. "Somethings bugging you – I didn't miss any paint on your dress, did I?"

"No, it's not that," Sakura frowned. Then she sighed. "I…just don't think you're taking this all that seriously."

"Oh, I'm not," I nodded. "There's no lose condition beyond letting the other team get all the balls to the platform over there."

"But aren't you supposed to be training us?" Sakura asked, looking thunderstruck.

"This exercise is supposed to measure where you're at as students," I explained with a frown. "This is an evaluation – a test. Not a lesson. It's also a game I'm really sure we're going to win, soooo…"

"Why is that?" Sakura asked with a raised eyebrow.

…I almost told her about my 'premonitions' but I decided against it. Didn't seem appropriate to spout off _that_ little detail to someone not even out of the academy. "Call it a hunch."

Sakura got this hopeless frown on her face. "S-senpai, I don't mean to be rude, but…. hunches don't win games."

"My hunches do," I smiled. I still can't believe I found a way around the Hokage's mission ban. I mean, I was going to _abuse this, maliciously,_ but I was having a hard time believing my luck right now. "But we do need to pick up the pace, so…"

"Senpai, wait for me!" Sakura shouted as I took off at a…well, it was like a slow jog to me, but she was having a hard time keeping up.

"I am," I replied back.

She was too busy breathing hard to reply back.

…becoming separated would defeat the purpose of teaming up with her in the first place. So, I slowed and and…wouldn't you know. Another ball with an obvious web of traps around it. This one was more like it was the center of a wheel, with traps being strung all around it on the spokes.

Sakura put her hands on her knees, panting heavily.

I'll note that in the evaluation later.

I wonder what the clan kids are all out doing right now? Probably something a lot harder that what we're doing right now. Hmmm…what sort of rigorous training regimen could I get away with since Team 7's will to have us teach them.

 _Medicine Check Failure_ : _32:50_.

It's a bad idea to hold them to my standard at the very least. I'll have to ask Nichiren and Hisako since, you know, _they actually train_.

"Okay," Sakura stood up. "I can…uh…"

She took in the sight of the new web with wide eyes and a jaw that hung open incredulously. "How did they have time to set this up?"

"We did give them about 15 minutes to prepare and both Naruto and Nichiren are really good at setting up traps," I shrugged. "Nichiren has jutsu to help him too, so I'm not surprised."

Sakura groaned. "Senpai…you're not diving into the traps again, are you?"

"No," I said, stretching out chakra strings from my fingers. Chakra strings, unlike most feats of chakra control, were visible by default and Sakura looked at them with wonder. I snapped them over to the ball and reeled it in like a fish. Not literally. "No point…that last one was mostly to see if I can do it and I have no illusions that this one isn't set up just like the last one."

"H-how…did you do that?" Sakura asked in wonder.

"Chakra-strings," I shrugged, palming the ball. "Literally a leaf-sticking exercise stretched out across a distance. I understand there's a whole corps of Ninja in Suna who use these to manipulate puppets."

Kakashi told me, so I was free to spout this fact as much as I liked.

Sakura looked stunned.

"It's another thing you can do with good chakra control," I replied. "I might teach you later if your control is good enough."

We were both distracted when the ball erupted into a puff of smoke, leaving another note.

 _Daisuke,_ The note read. _Seriously. Charging into situations head first is a bad idea. N &N._

"Jokes on you," I smirked, handing the note to Sakura for her to read. "So, where do you think they actually hid their ball?"

"Ummm…well," Sakura looked up in thought. "If both massive webs of traps were fakes…maybe they've hid their ball somewhere without any traps?"

"In some quiet, out of the way spot?" I frowned. That would make things difficult if they tried being unfair about the location of their ball. "Well, you think we can ignore these huge webs of traps, then?"

"Well maybe," Sakura said. "They had to start building these somewhere, so maybe…we should treat these more like a trail?"

"Good point," I nodded. "Alright, let's move."

"So what about Sasuke and Hisako's ball?" Sakura asked with a frown.

"Eh, I'm sure Naruto and Nichiren have both already gone for it," I shrugged. "I mean, I think we _did_ pass Hisako and Sasuke on the way here so they were on their way to find ours, which meant that they decided to _not_ mess with these things."

"Probably left it for you," Sakura replied with a frown. Then she seized up. "S-Senpai, I-I mean…"

"It's fine," I shrugged. "You're probably right, I do tend to charge at things head first."

"Why?" Sakura blinked.

"Killing me is _difficult,_ putting it mildly," I replied with a frown. "The first thing I found that actually could kill me was the behemoth and I had a large group of elite Ninja to bail me out."

"Behemoth?" Sakura's tongue slowly sounded out the unfamiliar word.

"The giant fish-man in the bottom of the sewers," I clarified. I need to be careful which words I start using…I've been pretty good about the first dozen years of my new life; I don't need to screw it up now. "Just a name I gave him."

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/3._

Holy cow. I actually expected a fail for some arbitrary reason!

"Alright," Sakura said. "It's an odd name, though."

"I'm an odd person," I replied flatly. "Now, are we going to follow the trail of traps, or…"

"Yeah, let's go," Sakura nodded and we started moving again. Slower, this time, so she could actually keep up.

The trail of traps actually lead to the very edge of training ground three, were a fence of barbed wire separated it from the rest of the forest. It was a token effort, no Shinobi worth their salt would ever get stopped by it. But it did serve to give people an idea of where they were on the map.

The last trap was like a square, wires and paint canons strung up in the trees which formed the points of a square. The orb was actually suspended in wires high in the canopy, assuring that if I pulled it out, the paint cannons aimed up would go off.

So, I sent a set of strings right up to the ball and started to lift it out of it's net. Only for the next to lift and the paint cannons were set off. Sakura and I watched the maelstrom of paint erupt like a giant, white volcano without getting a drop of paint on us.

I still had my strings on the ball, so I just brought it down to us and shook the paint off. "Well, that was a waste of good paint."

Then the ball went in smoke, leaving yet another note.

 _Daisuke,_ this note read. _If you're covered in a fresh coat of paint and really mad, then our traps are working. This isn't the ball you're looking for._ _N &N._

Great. Juuuust great.

I handed the note to Sakura. "Well, the balls got to be around here _somewhere_ right?"

Sakura was gritting her teeth. "Yeah. Somewhere."

I looked around, taking care not to step in the paint. But I couldn't see _anything_ , any trace of a yellow ball. I breathed out and…and…saw, past the wire fence, just a hint of yellow.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/7._

I laughed and hopped over the fence.

"Senpai?" Sakura called.

"They hid their ball outside the training ground," I called with a laugh, snagging it with chakra strings. I shook it, banged it against the trunk of a tree and…nothing. It was the real ball.

"Is that allowed?" Sakura asked as I hopped back into the training ground.

"There's no rule against it so…yeah, I guess," I shrugged. "Now, off to Sasuke and Hisako's part of the forest, or do you think we should check on our ball first?"

"I think we should check on our ball," Sakura said. "If one of the other teams grabbed it, it could turn into a fight, later"

"I want it to turn into a fight," I replied with a frown. "I win those."

"O-okay Senpai," Sakura said respectfully.

I mentally sighed. "But, as we've established, I'm quite terrible at strategy, so we'll go check on our ball. To be safe or at least to know whose got it, in any case."

"Okay Senpai," Sakura replied, sounding somewhat relieved.

We made our way back to the hiding spot and…I heard a hushed conversation.

"Look, we can all agree that we don't want to be here when Daisuke gets _back,_ " Nichiren said.

 _Agility Check Success: 7/7._

 _Sneak Check Success: 64/60._

Pulling Sakura into a hiding spot wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done, but I succeeded, pulling her with me to the back of a tree. "Shhh."

She nodded and we listened in.

"Speak for yourself," That was Sasuke. "This is an evaluation and the only thing we did relating to combat is when you two jumped us before calling for truce."

"You also want to win, don't you?" Naruto asked. "Like, seriously. There's more to being a ninja than just fighting things."

"Combats the thing I care about," Sasuke snapped back.

I peered around the tree and saw that Naruto had the red ball in his hand.

"Naruto and Nichiren grabbed Sasuke and Hisako's ball already," I whispered. "It'd be pretty easy to jump in and take it from them."

"Do you have a way to disable them?" Sakura asked with a frown. "Or were you just going to charge in?"

"I was going to charge in," I replied.

"I know you're interested in combat but there's _no way_ any of us can actually beat Daisuke in a straight fight," Hisako hissed. Heh, she was drenched from head to toe and a scroll laid discarded on the ground. "Best thing to do is lay a trap for him, when he inevitably trips it and restrains himself, we can search for his ball in peace."

My eyebrow twitched. "…I might have something that'll restrain them, yes."

"Okay," Sakura sounded relieved.

The jutsu I used was directly inspired by Kazu, the guy I murdered near the end of the _Organ Trail_. After making the seals, I placed the palm of my hand on the ground and twin lines of seals stretched out, tracing in front of both groups.

"Get down!" Hisako shouted, tackling Sasuke to the ground.

It was just a flashbang and while it didn't blind her, her ears were ringing horribly. Naruto and Nichiren, on the other hand, were definitely blind _and_ deaf. Naruto dropped the red ball and I slid out of my hiding spot to pick it up. Then I used strings to pick up the scroll that held _our_ ball, which was exactly where I left it and I released it, sticking each ball on my left forearm.

"Let's move," I said, running past Sakura so she could catch up.

I totally knew we'd win this. I mean, come on! I may be bad at tactics, but I had the smartest member of Naruto's class on my team. That was literally my biggest weakness covered with a safety net made of adamantium, like my bones are going to be made of in about a month or so.

Well, I would probably be better if I didn't keep getting separated from my team…get their input…that's technically my fault, I think. I do like to get them out of the way so they don't get hurt.

…huh. Well, I mean, this is just a training exercise and-oh, who am I kidding. I need to trust my team more. They're not _helpless_. Even if they are only twelve. But that's the problem! They're only twelve and…well, physically I'm only twelve.

Mentally, I'm a twisted mess, but that's neither here nor there.

A flash of heat and light hit my face as a large fireball landed on the ground in front of me, igniting all the grass and trees in the front of me ablaze.

See, _that's_ a good use for a fireball. Don't aim at targets that dodge the fireball easily, use it to block off an opponent's escape. It also means that flashbang didn't do any permanent damage to his ears, which is a very good thing.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/5._

I noticed shuriken flying toward us at high speed in large numbers, each with ninja wire tied around the ring. And they were flying in a circular arc to trap us, which I ducked under as they were pulled tight. Total failure there.

Oh, he trapped Sakura.

Partial success, there.

And then Hisako and Sasuke landed in front of me and took Taijutsu stances. I slid forward on my stomach and leaped up, aiming a kick for Hisako's head which she ducked beneath. Sasuke, with his Sharingan on, I noticed, used _my chakra slide_ to circle around and make a grab for the balls. I _rewarded_ his ingenuity with a punch to the stomach and stuck my foot out to push him over it and send him to the dirt.

I was only a little annoyed.

I stuck my foot up to kick Hisako in the face behind me, and used my slide to rapidly turn while moving to the right to cuff her in the face with my foot. Then I zipped over to Sakura, who had fallen over in her attempts to get free and used my chakra-razor to slice the wires open.

Then Sasuke stood up and threw a Kunai at me. I responded with chakra threads pulling him into a punch to his face before I _rapidly_ turned him around and stuck the palm of my hand to his back and whirled him around as a human shield against Hisako and he took a blow from Hisako to his stomach.

 _Strength Check Success: 7/6._

 _Agility Check Success: 7/7._

 _Taijutsu Check Success: 82/45._

Then I ejected the last Uchiha from my palm, sending him barreling into my teammates and turned to Sakura.

"Let's move," I said and we booked it back in the direction.

…So _that's_ what it's like when I start using actual strategy. Huh. I need to do that more often. This is actually turning out to be _fun_!

I turned around, sliding backwards and slammed my palm on the ground for an instant, sending another line of flash-bangs down behind me and turned back around.

The platform was in sight. We had the balls. I can already taste that beautiful, beautiful EXP. Only 5095 until I reach level 17 and then however much it takes to level 18 and I get to ability to use Water Chakra. Then I work on creating the most nutritious drink I possible can so I restore upwards of 500 HP per gulp and…hah, no more almost dying.

Because, actually? As much as I don't care about getting hurt…getting hurt still sucks. _Staying_ hurt is even worse.

 _Perception Check Failed: 8/9._

 _Agility Check Success: 7/7._

Of _course,_ they trapped the area around the platform. I hit a trip wire but thankfully dodged the paint glob of paint that was soaring towards me. It missed Sakura completely. Whatever, it's an easy thing to just jump over all the…ah, no.

A _fence_ popped out of the ground, surrounding the platform and even gained a roof.

Okay, _how?_ Nichiren's good, but… _he made a fence?_ Out of what looked like metal staffs and ninja wire. With a lid! I…alright, time to obliterate all his hard work.

 _Mjolnir._

The ball of lightning impacted the cage, knocking it down and into several pieces that were warped and charred black, still cackling with the lightning used to destroy it.

Then ninja-wire wrapped themselves around my ankles and yanked me down. Sadly, I didn't have enough chakra to stick to the ground since I just lightning balled it and the balls on my arm came off.

This was Nichiren's work. I turned on my back and saw that the wires were actually leading underground. I bent forward and with my newly regenerated chakra sliced the wires off and…saw that Naruto had…gathered the balls already…and was standing on the platform with a happy look on his face.

….what…

But…

 _Quest Failed: Training Exercise: Capture the Flag._

I…you…but…wha?

"We win!" Naruto shouted, throwing his hands in the air, letting the balls drop to the ground. "That was _awesome_! We need to do that again!"

Butbutbutbut…

My eye was twitching as I processed the fact that I got no EXP. Nothing. No…anything.

But…I…

I sat down, blinking rapidly as I tried to process this latest development.

This...I…buh…

"…Daisuke, are you okay?" Nichiren asked, having emerged from the ground.

How did this go wrong?

Sakura and I grabbed the Yellow ball, went back to check on ours…found the other two teams arguing…Naruto and Nichiren had already grabbed the Red ball…so we just took that and ran. Then Sasuke and Hisako caught up to us, we dealt with them…Nichiren and Naruto had apparently run ahead of us since they were waiting for us here and…

"I think I've just lost a competition for the first time in my life," I said with a frown. "I…don't…give me a minute."

"You guys won?" Hisako looked surprised. "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Hisako-chan!" Naruto beamed brightly.

Sasuke just gave a quiet nod of acknowledgement.

"Okay," I stood up and said with a hollow acknowledgement. "Naruto and Nichiren are the winners. Now, we evaluate each other based on how each of us did in our eyes…talk about our strengths first, then our weaknesses."

"I'll start," I took a breath. The 'compliment first, then the criticism' was something I had learned from my previous life and it's stuck with me very strongly even to now. "Sakura, you are clearly a highly intelligent girl. You're really good at thinking on your feet and you have a great deal of common sense. Your chakra control is excellent and your ability to learn is similarly up there."

"Th-thank you, Senpai," Sakura said, looking flattered.

"That said, I did notice your physical conditioning is lacking. You were out of breath several times as we ran around looking for the balls and your chakra reserves are similarly lacking. From that, I can deduce that your Taijutsu is similarly sub-par. I'd work hard on remedying that," I continued, keeping my expression neutral. "Fixing those flaws should be your main priority. Once you do, in combination with your smarts and excellent chakra control, you'll be ready to be a Shinobi."

"Yes, Senpai," She gave a respectful bow. "Thank you."

"Alright…Naruto," I turned to him. "You have anything you have to add?"

"I…me?" Naruto blinked.

"Yes, you," I replied. "This is a study group, we're all supposed to help each other learn."

"Oh, uh…" Naruto started. "Well, you don't have any paint on you, so you were smart enough to avoid the traps and convinced Daisuke, right?"

"No, Daisuke-senpai fell for one," Sakura's eye twitched just a bit. "We just didn't go into any of the others."

"Oh," Naruto said. "Well, you still helped keep Daisuke's tunnel vision in check. That's something."

He seemed hesitant to say anything else.

"Anything she could do to improve?" I pressed.

"Well, I noticed she didn't really try to do much of the actual fighting," Naruto shrugged but looking nervous. "Maybe it's because her Taijutsu isn't that good, but she should still at least _try_."

"Thank you, Naruto-kun," Sakura said respectfully.

"Sasuke? Anything?" I asked, not really hoping for anything much.

The Uchiha simply shrugged. "There isn't anything that hasn't already been said. She's smart but she's got no real ability in combat herself. Fix that, and she'll be a serviceable ninja."

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun," Sakura smiled a bowed deeply.

Sasuke's only response was too grunt in…was that annoyance? I think that was annoyance.

"Alright, uh…Nichiren, how would you say Naruto did?" I asked.

"I was surprised, actually," Nichiren said with a smile. "Naruto, you actually have a great head for traps _and_ had some great ideas. Honestly, you were a joy to work with. The only thing I'd really suggest is that you learn the tree-walking jutsu so you can save time on set up instead of climbing up the old-fashioned way. But…yeah. I had no complaints."

Naruto was smiling wide. "You too, Nichiren-senpai!"

 _Naruto_ was using the Senpai-honorific. What have I done?

"Sakura, anything to add?" I asked her.

"I guess this goes for both of you, but your traps were _really_ involved and very well constructed," Sakura replied, looking up in thought. "The use of decoys was actually really smart and I thought that trapping the central area was an amazing idea…it's why we lost, actually…I don't really have anything _negative_ to say, actually."

"Sasuke?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Good use of traps. Still overly loud."

Naruto frowned and crossed his arms, but he let it go without so much as a grunt.

"Alright, Hisako? How'd Sasuke do?" I kept the ball rolling.

"Well…he's definitely a prodigy. Great Taijutsu and Ninjutsu…you know that Fireball he throws around is a C-rank jutsu? He's pretty good. Also, he's a very practical student, very straightforward, which I appreciate," Hisako nodded with a frown. "Buuuut…he's difficult to work with. I got the sense he _resents_ being put on teams, which is a good way to get himself, and the people around him, killed. Get over that little hurdle, and you'll be perfectly fine."

Sasuke blinked and took a breath. "I…see. Thank you, Senpai."

I gestured to Naruto.

"He…" Naruto struggled to find something to say. Then he sighed. "He's…about as good at everything you can be. But he's definitely hard to work with!"

"Sakura, anything to add?" I asked before she could jump on Naruto.

See, I'm learning!

"He's the best shinobi in our class and that was on full display today," Sakura gushed. I rolled my eyes. "His Taijutsu was great, his jutsu was great and he was just incredible!"

"So, what could he do to improve?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Uhhhh…." Sakura was brought to a halt. "Well…he, uh…could work on his Ninja-wire. I mean, he got me so it's not like he needs to improve that much but he missed you by a mile so…"

I sighed. "Alright, good enough. Okay, here's part two. Sasuke? How did Hisako do as a partner?"

Hisako looked surprised.

Sasuke actually blinked. "Senpai?"

"This is a study group, not a class room," I explained with a frown. "No one's exempt from evaluation here. How did Hisako do?"

"She…did pretty well," Sasuke said, seeming unsure. "Senpai's Genjutsu was fascinating to watch when placed on Nichiren and Naruto and she's very skilled at Taijutsu. The only criticism I would raise…is that she didn't expect you to completely negate her Genjutsu during the exercise. But from what I saw…that's not much of a complaint."

I nodded. "Nichiren?"

"Her Genjutsu is as good as ever," Nichiren nodded. "If I didn't know to expect it, I would've been caught. Easily. Her Taijutsu is still great. The only critique I'd have is that I think she should start using her senbon and shuriken more. They're good tools to use."

"Thanks, Nichiren," Hisako nodded.

"You've improved in your Taijutsu," I said to her and she gave me her full attention, placing a hand on her hip. "You're still as dedicated to improving yourself as ever and I think you've made good use of Genjutsu this time…even if I negated it."

She hummed to herself. "…thank you, Daisuke."

"So, Naruto," I turned to one of my best friends in the whole world. "How'd Nichiren do?"

"He's _awesome!_ " Naruto gushed, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "I don't think I've learned so much about traps before in my life! I got so many ideas now! Seriously, I was mad when we got put together, but now I couldn't be happier!"

I smirked on the inside. "Anything he could do to improve…"

"Well…" Naruto looked reluctant now. "He…could try to let me do more. I know it was because I don't know the tree-walking jutsu, but…it felt like he did a lot of the work."

"I could work on that," Nichiren nodded to himself. "Thanks."

"Hisako?" I motioned.

"I hate your traps," Hisako shook her head in disgust, causing Nichiren to start laughing. "Utterly _despise_ them. I mean, I didn't fall into any of the big ones…those were meant for Daisuke, weren't they?"

"Yup," Nichiren nodded with a cheeky grin.

I could've slapped him. I mean, I didn't, but I could've.

"But the small ones seemed to be _everywhere_ ," Hisako breathed. "So…yeah. Great work. I'll have to work on spotting them before next time. I don't have any criticism."

"Same note on your traps," I said. "And yeah, I couldn't resist the first big one to see if I could do it, but…come on, my tunnel vision isn't _that_ bad."

" _Yes it is_ ," Nichiren, Hisako, Naruto _and Sakura_ all said at the same time.

"Fine," I grumbled. "Also, I thought that hiding your ball outside the training ground to be ingenious."

"He hid his ball outside the training ground?" Sasuke asked, blinking.

"There's no rule to say we _couldn't_ ," Nichiren replied with a sing-song voice, and Naruto grinned hugely again.

I inhaled sharply. Here it comes… "So, uh…no criticism so…Sakura. How'd I do?"

"Well," Sakura took a breath. "Your Taijutsu is nothing short of incredible and the lightning jutsu you threw at the end was awesome. Oh, and the chakra strings were _amazing_. The way you could just snatch the decoy balls out of the traps like it was nothing was cool to watch."

"You used chakra strings to get the decoys out of their spots," Nichiren said flatly. "Right. I forgot you could use those."

"What are chakra-strings?" Naruto asked.

I demonstrated, pulling the yellow ball right to my hand.

"What," Naruto's mouth was agape.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Anyway, Sakura…continue."

"But…you needed me to tell you to use decoys for your storage scrolls idea," Sakura said with a frown. "You went into a nest of traps for no other reason than because you wanted too when you _really_ didn't need too and…didn't take this as seriously as I think maybe you should've. I…found myself questioning your intelligence several times during this exercise."

Ouch. I have 10 Intelligence, yet I made someone question it? What am I, a filthy casual?

…well, I was always a filthy casual, so there.

"Alright," I nodded slowly. "I can work on how seriously I take things…and my general approach to strategy…and using my head in general."

"Th-thank you, Senpai," Sakura said. "I'm not…trying to be disrespectful but…you did ask."

"I did," I nodded. "So, Nichiren…thoughts?"

"So you clearly learned your lesson to some degree," Nichiren nodded. "You only went into _one_ trap instead of every one you could find. That's fantastic. I'll be really happy though, if we could end up spending the whole mission together as a team instead of getting split up. I know it's not always _entirely_ your fault, but it feels like you don't try as hard as you can to stick with us."

Well yes. You're twelve and I don't want you getting mauled. That doesn't mean you aren't trained though and I need to respect that…even if it goes against all of my internal sensibilities. "Alright. I will try harder to keep the team together on our next mission that goes horrifically wrong."

"That's about all I can ask for, I guess," Nichiren shrugged.

"So…your Genjutsu defense," Hisako started. "Amazing work, by the way, but…how does it work?"

"It's a seal that absorbs foreign chakra into my own network," I explained flatly. "It's always on, to boot."

"Alright," Hisako nodded. "Yeah, I wasn't expecting it because…well, your tunnel vision. You don't seem to understand when you need to change something and I was actually pretty happy when I found out you learned something important. So…keep learning."

"I'll do my best," I said with a small smile. I really will. "…I think that's it…when do we want to meet up again?"

I was desperately trying to avoid punching something. I just lost exp and now that I finished the business at hand, I was going insane.

I JUST LOST PRECIOUS EXPERIENCE POINTS AND THERE'LL BE-

"Can we meet tomorrow?" Sakura asked. "I'd really like help in getting better at Taijutsu as fast as possible."

"Does that work for everyone?" I asked, flexing and unflexing my toes to remove tension. There were nods around the training ground. "Sweet. Anyway, I gotta go. There's someone, with something and…see yah."

 _Shunshin!_

I made it back to my apartment and slammed the door behind me.

Why? How did I…no, I know how I lost. Nichiren and Naruto were cleverer than I was. That…gah! It's freaking unfair! We're ninja, unfair's our default setting. I don't care! It's doesn't matter. Yes it does! I lost EXP and I don't know how the 'Training Exercises as Radiant' quests work, so I might've screwed the pooch on it and it'll be a while before our next one-

-I just left another hole in the wall-

-and then the Hokage's 'mission-ban' will have run-out and the main point of sticking it _to_ the Hokage will have been for not! Seriously, screw that old man!

I…grrrrr…

I leaped out of the window and started walking. Some fresh air might clear my head.

 _I freaking swear, if I don't get another quest before I can do missions again, I'll never be able to look at the Hokage's smug face ever again,_ I thought, hands in my pockets as I wandered the streets. _Who cares if they think I'm self-destructive? And even if they're right, which they're not, I would only be that way because my charisma's low and all my attempts to fix it keep getting blocked by upper management and my own stupidity!_

My wanderings took me to a store. I looked around and…oh, it's a music store. Huh.

You know, in my old life, I was entirely unable to function without the dulcet tones of Kamelot or Breaking Benjamin in my ears…. some of my more _musically intelligent_ peers scoffed at my choice of music as low quality, but eh. I like what I like.

You know, I could really use some music right now. I'll get a guitar, pass an Intelligence check and an Agility check and fill my apartment with the sound of music. So, I bought a guitar with the obscene amount of money I had, a manual to actually learn how to play just in case and dashed off to my apartment.

Reading the manual was simple enough. Cords, finger position, etc. Then I got ready to play aaaand…I strummed the strings…and…nothing.

No check? No agility check for finger placement? No Int check to automatically know how to play?

I…really?

Buuuut…the cypher…well, we had a rudimentary education in decoding things in the academy so I already had an idea of what I was doing.

Well, this sucks. I actually have to know how to play a guitar on a _meta level_ , apparently.

I placed the guitar on the floor and stood up, wandering to the ceiling.

This day is just full of disappointments.

Whatever. Not being able to play the guitar doesn't bother me.

It doesn't bother me.

It doesn't bother me.

It bothers me.

It bothers me _a lot_.

I begrudgingly went back to the guitar and started…the long…arduous task of learning an instrument.

* * *

"Well, the good news is that he isn't suicidal," Inoichi told the Hokage and Kakashi, with a psyche report compiled by Daisuke's minders. "The bad news is he's self-destructive because he has no concept of negative consequences from his behavior."

Kakashi breathed a sigh of relieve.

"Thank you, Inoichi-san," The Hokage puffed his pipe. "This is one issue where I'm happy I was wrong."

"Honestly, if you want to ensure he develops some common sense," Inoichi continued. "I would attach some negative consequences to his mistakes like you have done, Hokage-sama. Just make sure you don't overdo it and give him some positive reinforcement soon afterwards so he understands that you aren't the enemy."

"I see," The Hokage replied. "Is there anything else?"

"No, Hokage-sama," Inoichi replied.

"Dismissed," The Hokage said and the Yamanaka Patriarch left.

"Hokage-sama, about the amulet," Kakashi said, gesturing to the trinket placed on the Hokage's desk.

"Curious thing…you say his appearance improved immediately?" The Hokage asked with a frown.

"Yes, he said he applied a seal to it," Kakashi glared at it. "He…lied."

"That he did," The Hokage sighed heavily. "I'm afraid this might be something his bloodline does that he was less than truthful to make it easier to swallow…something I wish he would stop doing."

"So if it's something to do with his bloodline, should we allow him to wear the amulet then?" Kakashi asked with a frown. "It's not an artificial enhancement like we were led to believe."

"I'm inclined to say no simply to penalize his dishonesty," The Hokage replied. "But, let me ask you. What do the clans see in Daisuke?"

"They see a potentially powerful ally," Kakashi replied.

"Now…with any powerful ally comes things…you wine them and dine them. You give them favors, make deals in secret and try to use them to increase your own influence," The Hokage explained. "You know this, of course. _But_ , see, it hasn't happened with Daisuke. The clans haven't done anything of the sort, save the Akimichi, who invited _everyone_ to their celebration, including Daisuke. That's hardly a move to 'claim influence'. Do you know why this is?"

"He's socially dead," Kakashi replied.

" _Exactly_ ," Hiruzen replied. "The clans are at a stalemate. They all want him as an ally, but they also understand that subtlety is _wasted_ on him. If they try anything to overt, the other clans could rally against them…best case scenario, they all start acting like bratty children that need the Hokage's switch. Absolute worst case, it destroys Konoha in civil war."

"So…having him socially dead is…good for Konoha?" Kakashi blinked.

"It would seem that way," The Hokage nodded. "Terrible for him and his mental health, but a socially conscious Daisuke with no sense of consequence from bad behavior could wreak _havoc_ on Konoha. So…Kakashi, he is your student, what do you think we should do?"

Kakashi internally sighed. "I…I don't know. I do know that he's going to fix his social issue eventually with a power spike. Apparently, it's huge…both from how he described it and that he almost looks _giddy_ with anticipation whenever he talks about it. But he also has no concept of negative consequences, like you have said…so, I would say we use the time between now and that power spike to drill in that sense 'don't do this' into his head."

"Completing missions brings him closer to those power spikes," The Hokage puffed his pipe. "By denying him missions, we not only punish his poor behavior, but we give ourselves more time to drill it out of him. This…this is a good plan. Do we know how close he is to the big one?"

"No, Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied.

"Hmmmm…once his furlough is over, I'll summon him to my office and we can discuss it in greater detail," The Hokage replied, putting more herbs in his pipe before lighting it again. "I think we should be there when it happens."

* * *

 _Authors Notes: Meh. Daisuke failed a quest. That's actually not something he thought was possible, but there we go.  
_

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	33. Getting my Stuff Together

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

SONOFA-

…I hit the wrong note again.

Come on, learning an instrument shouldn't be _this_ hard!

Strum…adjust fingers…E… G… E…DANGIT!

Try again. I can get this.

E to G to – AUGH!

The guitar all but shattered in my hands and I sighed. Second time today. I think, what time is it?

7:33 in the morning?

Yeah, second time today. This is ticking me off. Absolutely maddening.

I sighed and stood up, leaving the pieces on the floor. I'll fix it later. Anything in the fridge…I need a snack. For my sanity.

Just milk? That's fine, I'll just pour myself a glass.

There was a loud knock at the door.

If it's the Hokage or Sensei…remember, you can't explode their heads until level 30 or so.

I opened the door…and here was Naruto. He put on a smile and said. "Hey, Daisuke!"

"Good morning," I replied. "You're up early."

"Yeah, uh…" Naruto replied, grinning even wider now with a nervous chuckle. "I…uh, decided to get some fresh air this morning!"

"Really?" I asked. This was unlike him, he liked to sleep in. At least I thought…maybe the sewer thing hit him harder than I thought… "So. You want to come in, or…inviting people in is something you do, right?"

"Y-yeah," Naruto nodded, walking inside. "That's something you do…wow. You…don't have a couch or something?"

"Nope," Furniture still seemed superfluous. I don't need to sit…if I do, I sit on the floor. "Personally, I don't see the point – sitting is mostly superfluous and I don't ever have company. Usually."

"Oh-kay," Naruto said with a blink. "…what's with the guitar?"

I looked at the pieces and grunted. "I've been trying to learn an instrument. It hasn't gone that well."

"I see," Naruto replied. "So, were you going to get a new one?"

"Nah, I said with a frown. "Find a spot on the floor and sit down, yeesh."

Naruto sat down and I sat across from him and picked up the pieces. I fixed it with my jutsu and started trying to play again. "So…what'd you come to talk about?"

"Well," Naruto paused for a moment. "I wanted to see if you were okay."

"I'm uninjured," I frowned as I messed up another cord.

"Not that," Naruto said. "Daisuke, we all know you didn't take losing the game very well."

I stopped 'playing' and looked at Naruto. "Can we discuss this later?"

"No," Naruto folded his arms and squinted his eyes in annoyance.

"Why not?" I asked, setting the guitar to the side.

"Because," Naruto answered with emphasis. "I don't like making one of my only friends mad."

"I don't see why you'd be that concerned," I replied. "You won a competition fair and square – it just so happened that was the first time I've lost in a… _long_ time."

"That doesn't mean I'm _okay_ with that," Naruto frowned. "I…do you see what Nichiren and I were trying to say?"

"Loud and clear," I replied. "The Hokage and Kakashi-sensei were louder, though."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I got pulled off missions for being stupid and foolhardy," I shrugged…and fixed my guitar after accidentally crushing it again. "Being rash has its consequences, I suppose."

"Oh. Uh…" Naruto looked uncertain. "Right…so, are you going to the afterparty?"

"The what party?" I blinked.

"The afterparty," Naruto repeated. He sighed at my confused look. "The party the Akimichi's are throwing since you couldn't make it to the last one?"

I crushed my guitar again. "Oh. Yeah…I don't have a choice about that one, do I?"

"You don't want to go?" Naruto asked with a frown. "Everyone was so disappointed when you didn't come to the last one."

"Afraid I don't," I replied. Finding some formal clothes that didn't offer a charisma boost was going to be a challenge, but I remember seeing some that offered an _Int_ boost instead, which was fine with me, if not more than a little useless.

"Why not?" Naruto whined.

"Because I got you, Hisako and Nichiren and that's all the social life I need," I listed each friend I had. Kakashi wasn't on the list because _he was denying me levels_. Alongside the Hokage. "Any more and I might actually have to buy furniture for all the people that'll come see me."

"Come on," Naruto put his hand on my shoulder. "Everyone could use more friends. Friends are a good thing!"

I sighed. He had a point – the extra friends were what let me get the Nakama perk. "Yeah, I guess."

"So don't worry, everyone there's a friend," Naruto smiled wide. "Really…and maybe we can talk with the old man and get him to let you on missions again."

"If you can convince him of that, _you'll_ be the village miracle worker," I shook my head. "I've been pulled of missions because I keep separating myself from the team and emerging almost dead. Tunnel vision, like you two pointed out."

Naruto chuckled uneasily. "Well, in _that_ case, think of it more like an extended vacation."

"I don't need those," I frowned.

"But they're good for you," Naruto whined.

"So are foods besides ramen," I retorted.

"Hey!" Naruto folded his arms again and glared. "That was uncalled for!"

"Doesn't mean it's not true," I replied, then sighed. "Look, Naruto…yes, I'll be there. Meet at the clan home at 6 tonight, right?"

"Yup!" Naruto smiled.

"Cool," I replied. Then the thought occurred to me that I might want to help Naruto out. While he's here. "So, got anything you're working on? As far as your training goes?"

"Well," Naruto dragged the word out. "I, uh…so, I saw the way you took out Hisako and Sasuke yesterday and I was thinking you could…check on my Taijutsu?"

I shrugged and stood up. "Alright. Give me the Academy stance."

It was awful. His feet were placed wrong, his arms were too loose, and his balance was off center. It had all the hallmarks of someone who _didn't practice long enough_.

Or didn't level their Taijutsu much, but I had so that was irrelevant.

"Give me a kata," I said with an impartial face.

He gave me the first kata we were taught in the academy. It…was sloppy. Yeah, Naruto had _not_ practiced a lot.

"Okay," I said, trying to figure out how to word this. Well, strait and to the point always works for me. "Your Taijutsu is awful."

"Aw man," Naruto slumped.

"You're gonna have to work hard to fix it," I continued. "First, assume your stance."

He did with a grumble or two under his breath.

"Okay, lemme fix it," I said, using chakra-strings to position his arms and fix his footing. "Good. Now _hold that_ for five minutes."

"Alright," Naruto groaned. After a minute, his stance started to loosen.

I adjusted his stance again. "Hold it."

He groaned and glared forward…then his stance started to loosen again. "Hold your stance."

"Hold it."

"Naruto."

"Hold your stance."

"Naruto!"

"I'm not a first-year," Naruto pouted, but did as he was told.

I sighed. Okay, maybe it wasn't working as well as I'd like. "You know what, never mind. Let's save it for later, we can all get better as a group."

"No, no," Naruto said. "I…why is my stance so important anyway?"

"It directly affects how much power you can put behind your attacks," I replied matter-of-factly. "It also affects how easily you can defend from enemy attacks. The right stance is, in fact, the most important part of a ninja's Taijutsu."

"What kind of stance do you use?" Naruto asked with a frown.

"It varies," I answered. "I switch stances all the time when I'm fighting – whatever lets me put my fist in their face is usually what I use. Chakra slide is _insanely_ helpful in that regard."

I demonstrated a kata, which was just a bunch of random moves strung together, and I allowed my chakra-slide to help me switch and stuck to the ground when I needed traction. It's something I've done for a long time…this was just the first time I've really explained it. It's part of why fighting me is… _difficult_ , to say the least – predicting me is a pain.

"Woah," Naruto said, eyes wide.

"But in order to get to that point, you need to work on holding a basic stance first," I continued with a shrug. "You get it now?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I get it. Okay…holding my stance…"

He got into the stance and, while it was closer to accurate, I still had to adjust his footwork.

…

"Naruto…"

* * *

The exercise yesterday, a disaster though it might have been, was still _exciting_. _Actually_ training these three green-horns now that we know what they're capable of? I was relegated to glorified sparring partner and they were _bad_. Like…okay, the best was obviously Sasuke. He had the academy style down to a _science_ but he fell apart as I exploited the flaws inherent in that particular style.

Then came Sakura. Well, everything I said earlier about her lack of physical conditioning was true and I made sure she knew it. I went on the defensive, only attacking so she'd dodge and wear herself out faster, before planting her face in the dirt.

Last…of course…was Naruto.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

I had no words.

Naruto was bad. No, not just bad, he was _the worst I've ever seen_. The only thing he had was stamina comparable to mine, but even that didn't help when your opponent was dancing metaphorical circles around you. I was supremely annoyed about this, because I thought I had a decent picture from our meeting earlier that morning. But…you can't fix slacking off in a day.

I'm pretty sure he knew about how annoyed I was, and while I felt bad, I also hoped it pushed him to practice harder. Because this level of skill-less-ness was inexcusable. He was dead last for a reason, apparently, and every fanfic I had ever read said he was being sabotaged. I could see that this was _not_ the case, but rather a failure to power through his boredom.

I didn't _say_ this, but I sure thought it pretty hard.

Once we were done, of course, I high-tailed it back to my apartment, fixed the scattered pieces of my guitar and started working the strings again. It wasn't long before I broke the guitar into a thousand pieces. Again.

I took a deep breath.

Calm down, Daisuke. It's okay, Daisuke. You don't need to get infuriated with a musical instrument you can't seem to learn and end up breaking every half an hour or so. Just take a deep breath and SCREW THIS THING!

I just tossed my hands in the air stood up and put my head through the wall in sheer frustration.

This should not be this hard! I mean, even if I am having trouble moving my fingers the right way, I should at least have made some progress! I can see the song I'm trying to play in my head, it's just _not coming out_ for some reason!

I stepped up the wall, taking a brief moment to repair the damage before I started pacing.

Does the fact that I didn't have a check mean what I was trying to do was impossible for me because, since I live in a game system, is this something outside of its prevue and thus, impossible for me? Or is it just that my capacity for learning the old fashioned degraded so much that the trouble's I'm having is causing me undue distress?

…in the interest of protecting my sanity, I'm going with the latter.

I just need a break. From the mission ban, from the guitar, from helping Team 7 become what they want to be, from…everything. I need a book. Well, a movie would be better. In my old life, I'd have killed for a game, but if I ever so much as lay eyes on one right now, especially an RPG, I'm going to puke.

I moved to my bedroom, where my futon was propped up amidst a sea of disorganized works of literature, strewn about like someone had simply not cared where they went. Which, I didn't, I ceased to care about their existence after I read them.

Let's see…old skill book, surprisingly well written novel, disappointing novel, old skill book...new skill book? I never bought this.

 _+1 Ranged Weapons._

Alright then.

Aaaand… _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Ninja_. By Jiraiya of the Sannin. I haven't read this yet and I've been meaning too. Just…never found the time. Since the party, I was being press-ganged into attending by Naruto and Chōza's persistence, I still didn't have time. But…I'll have time after the party. I'll just stick it to the living room well, where I'm _bound_ to notice it.

A quick seal on the back and the book was hanging on the wall just opposite the apartment entrance. Then another seal to keep it shut so the pages didn't go flapping around when the cover opened.

Now that that's taken care of…let's take a look at my chart.

I took out my notebook and opened it to the fourteenth page of the notes section, where I had drawn an eight-part chart, which had been separated into 4 sections – _Offense, Defense, Sustain_ and _Maneuverability,_ my four pillars of character strength. Each had two parts per section, which were labeled _Melee_ and _Ranged_ for Offense, _Tank_ and _Evasion_ for Defense, _Health_ and _Chakra_ were placed under sustain and _Maneuverability_ had _Stealth_ and _Speed_ for its categories.

I had a…disappointing number of holes in my chart. In my offense, my melee section was handled entirely by explosion and chakra-slide so that was covered. The ranged portion was handled by my jutsu, specifically Force Lightning and Mjolnir. However, both of these options were also listed as negatives in the _sustain_ section, since they were chakra-hogs. Honestly, these would be great if I could act like a traditional mage, where I stick to the back-lines and hurl nukes at the enemy but that would both require that I place my teammates in-between me and the enemy, which is where they _don't_ belong and frankly being a tank is _way too much fun_.

So…I needed an alternative. Or at least, a better way of using these jutsu; unwieldly though they may be, they are the _lifeblood_ of the world I live in and for good reason. Perhaps using _Zeus_ , a thunder-spear jutsu I developed during the furlough between _The Organ Trail_ and _What's in The Water?_ It didn't do nearly as much damage as Mjolnir, but it did take less chakra…so maybe it's the more economical choice. At least when I'm fighting more than one enemy, anyway.

Mjolnir literally took my whole bar to cast...now it only leaves one point of chakra left, which is nice. Zeus takes less than a third of my chakra and only does a little less than half the damage Mjolnir does so…yeah, more economical.

Probably should have thought of this before. But I was used to things like that _not_ _mattering at all_. Force Lightning's _cool_ , but honestly, it's not worth it unless I'm fighting a literal mob of enemies and don't care about who I kill.

You know, now that I think about it, I think I might have the brain of a twelve-year-old. What with the lack of considering the consequences of my actions, lack of the ability to think things through…which is a horrifying thing to consider since, I have the memories and _reasoning_ ability of an adult, I have some clue as to what could possibly go wrong.

Back on topic. I need something economical for the ranged category. Were this my old world, my immediate response would be 'buy a gun' but most likely, that meant kunai and shuriken. Which made my brain go _bleh_. I mean, Tenten does _amazing_ things with both of those, but… _bleh_. They're too easily countered – a skilled ninja could apparently snipe a shuriken out of the air with their own projectile. Or they could dodge, because no matter how fast you get that projectile going, there is always the chance of that projectile being stepped around. Or going wide if you fail to lead the target properly.

You know, it's funny. Ninja summon animals from another dimension, substitute ourselves for logs…or someone else on the battlefield and in the case of the fourth, teleport. Yet, we still use thrown objects for our primary ranged weaponry. I…I almost think there should be a way to simply _remove_ projectiles as a factor and apply the kinetic energy directly to the enemy.

I…you know, now that I think about it, that should definitely be possible. The most rudimentary form of seals store chakra…a fact that just went into the chakra section of the _Sustain_ block; yup, brain of a twelve-year-old. That's disheartening. The most basic jutsu we have swaps the places of two objects – which doesn't necessarily mean _log_ , I've found out. There's just quite a few logs and fallen trees from shinobi who go a little too crazy during training. It…really should be possible.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Failure: 76/90_.

…I could fix that in one level. Heck, I could almost _max it out_ in one level. I'd just be one point off, assuming I don't find a skill book at some point in the future. Then I could figure out the Flying Thunder God, a thing held to _mythic_ status by those who revered the second…then the fourth when he figured it out. I didn't even need metaknowledge to know about the Flying Thunder God, it was in our history books. Not the specifics, of course, but the general idea.

Let's see…both Adamantium Skeleton and Elemental Training don't take skills to get and I'm putting off Ninja and Paralyzing Palm to get them so…yeah, I can afford it. It won't be disruptive to my overall scheme, anyway. So…yeah. Max Fuinjutsu next level, then start making seals for my gear…and make a weapon that applies kinetic energy over a distance _instantly_ , like a teleporting bullet but more likely to be just chakra. Might style it after a revolver too, because those are _cool_ and I haven't seen one in over a decade.

Okay so…that's ranged offense taken care of. In defense, I've got Adamantium Skeleton in the tank column and the various sealing shenanigans that'll apply its indestructibility to my whole body. In the _Evasion_ column, I had nothing.

The obvious answer was Shunshin. The problem was that I had problems using it. I had this irritating tendency to overshoot or undershoot my target in getting close to them, which ruined the various plays I was trying to make…though, that was probably due to my Ninjutsu score being rather low when I tried and thus was unskilled in using my jutsu properly.

I wonder if that's changed at all…I'll have to head to a training ground after the part and figure it out. Actually, with this hypothetical revolver I'm going to make, that would be significantly less of a problem…though I would have to invest points in ranged weaponry. You know, so my aims not utter crap. Seriously, even with a bonus, it's barely acceptable for a Genin. But…I do have 4 levels until I get back on schedule with Ninja and Paralyzing Palm…do I even need those anymore? Questions for later.

For sustain, a hypothetical water-release that made super-nutritious water and was worth a crap ton of HP for me, but would be patently useless for anyone else lined my health column. I had the plans for it, I just wasn't entirely sure about the fine details, which manifested in my failing a Ninjutsu check. This would be fixed when I got _Elemental Training_ and gained the bonus. If not, I can allocate skill points. For chakra, the new chakra-storage seals are now there. The extra reserves will be _quite_ welcome.

In _fact_ …horse, snake, dragon, horse…

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 76/65._

 _+150 EXP._

The seal wrote itself on the underside of my belt-buckle and I _gleefully_ noted on my stats screen that I had _+50_ to Chakra, which would make it significantly easier to use jutsu in combat. The jutsu took up all the room on my belt, though, so I didn't apply it to any other part at the moment, instead waiting for max Fuinjutsu so I could make full use of all the space.

4945 EXP until level 17.

Finally, there was maneuverability. Under speed there was Shunshin, which was really all I actually needed. Anything else was just dressing or hidden OP. Including flight, which I've had more than one dream about doing. Which was probably hidden OP…my luck in figuring out how to do so…well, it was locked behind a Ninjutsu of 70 and I had plans that needed filling before I got it.

I had another eight months before I was in danger of losing _Chasing Shadows_ , actually, but I should still get this figured out since I learned that I can _totally lose quests and the EXP they'd bring_!

…let's just fix the new hole in the wall…

I had nothing for stealth aside for the _Sneak_ skill, and that needed to change. I had a sneaking suspicion that _Water_ release was actually the gateway to a lot of stealth jutsu, what with the Angler's giving everyone such a hard time with how they were able to hide. Even the Behemoth gave the _Hokage_ a bad time…even if it was only for…what? Two minutes?

That should be a record, honestly.

If anything, it helps me respect the sheer power the Hokage has even more, because something I literally stood no chance against only gave Sarutobi Hiruzen trouble for _two minutes_. Granted, he had backup, but he also had civilians to worry about…

Whatever.

Hypothetical stealth jutsu in the stealth section.

I don't like the number of Hypotheticals here, actually.

And, finally…my biggest problem. My EXP's been corked for a couple weeks and I'm _not_ happy. I need to find a solution. Going around town looking for problems to solve doesn't sound very effective and it didn't work when I was in the academy. Best way to prevent this from happening again is…too be…tactically efficient.

…that might be another thing I need to learn on a metal level, just like that _freaking guitar_ over there. But that doesn't help the fact that I need EXP to come in…I _need_ it. I almost think I'm going into withdrawal symptoms from not getting it. Or more likely it was a security blanket that I cuddled up to at night to keep the monsters at bay.

Whatever. I want my EXP.

But I can't just do training exercises every other day, that would be bad for Team 7 – as much as I want to just plunge it for all the EXP I can, they asked for help and I'm _going_ to keep my word to them. No matter how difficult it becomes.

However, that just puts me back to square one – I need a source of EXP, one that's independent of the village and the Hokage so they can't stop me or my power spikes if I screw up like before. Training exercises are one such source, but it's hardly…reliable. It _requires_ someone else to be there. That's not really an option, as far as I know.

Well, maybe my team would be willing to do a training exercise with me on the days we're not helping Team 7. Maybe. I don't want to wear them out with excessive training…I'll have to ask. Though I'll have to be careful…if the Hokage gets even a _wiff_ that I'm finding ways to get around his mission ban, it won't be good. Insubordination is _not_ tolerated.

I don't know, I'll probably need to establish a pattern or something of…willingly hanging out with my team. But doing that just so they don't see I'm gaining EXP feels _wrong_. They're my friends, I think, not something to be exploited.

Right?

* * *

Well, I showed up at the Akimichi clan-residence, wearing a formal outfit that boosted my _Intelligence_ instead of my Charisma, which was basically a wasted bonus. Can't go above 10, after all. I kind of wish it was like Fallout 4, where you _could_ go over 10 and in fact, it made sense with the awesomeness they brought when they revamped power armor.

But whatever. I was ushered in through the front gate and guided to the small park where they had strung up paper lanterns. I was greeted by Chouji and his father, Chōza. Chōza was a _big_ man, both in height and in girth. His long red hair draped over his shoulders he looked at me with a warm smile.

"Akimichi-san," I bowed. "Thank you for going to all this trouble. I apologize again for not making it to the last one."

"Shimoda-kun," He replied. "Considering you saved my son, it's the least I can do."

"I think Kakashi-sensei and my team had more to do with that," I replied. "I just handled his kidnappers."

"Perhaps they did," Chōza nodded with a thoughtful look. "But you were still there first and prevented them from getting anywhere closer to their giant leader."

"I…thank you for your kind words," I dropped the attempt at modesty, because it wasn't working.

"Think nothing of it!" Chōza smiled. "Go ahead! Eat, drink…socialize. All your friends are here. "

Uncharacteristically, I was late. I spent the better part of an hour mustering up the will to head on over and try to socialize because I _really did not like socializing_. Even if they were all technically friends.

I sucked it up and walked over to the snack bar and poured myself some of their elixir…which is basically soda. Delicious soda, but soda nonetheless.

"Daisuke!" Naruto smiled, waving me over.

Oh, good to see he's not mad about earlier today. That actually makes me feel better.

"Hey buddy," I replied, walking up to him. "Nice to see you made it."

They had all made it, actually. Cells 7-13 were here. So were the Clan Heads. Hisako was sitting between Sakura and Ino and they were likely talking about…well, I don't know. Either how to use shuriken effectively or girl stuff. Then they started giggling uncontrollably and I knew the answer – girl stuff.

"You too," Naruto smiled happily. "Seriously! I actually thought you weren't going to make it again."

"No, I was definitely going to make it," I nodded to him. "After he went through all this trouble to set it up, not coming would've been insulting."

"It's okay Senpai," Chouji came up from behind me with a smile, bag of chips in hand. "We're just glad you made it."

I smiled. "Thanks, Chouji!"

I said that a little too enthusiastically, _crap_.

"Hey, Daisuke-senpai!" Ino waved to me with a smile, managing before Hisako was attempting a similar greeting. "Glad you could make it!"

I waved back. "Nice to see you too, Ino."

Hisako gave Ino a sidelong glare before she piped up. "So, you're going to be here for the whole party, right?"

I don't _wanna_. "Probably, why?"

"No reason," Hisako smiled. "I'm just glad you're here."

Everyone else gave me greetings. Rock Lee was enthusiastic, Neji was…cordial, actually. I was surprised. As was Hinata, Shikamaru. Kiba looked happy to see me, actually, and Akamaru attempted to lick my face. Attempted. I never liked dogs licking my face – I think he was annoyed. I gave a brief wave to Kakashi-sensei, who waved back…I didn't want to talk to him, and he seemed to understand and _respect_ that, oddly. Finally, Sasuke came up to me and after giving a greeting, he dove right into a conversation I was actually interested in.

"So earlier, when you were talking about analyzing fighting styles," Sasuke said, bringing up a point I made when talking about Taijutsu during our training exercise. "Is it easier to do if you know more than one?"

"Certainly," I replied, turning my full attention on him…after making sure Naruto and Nichiren were both thoroughly engrossed in conversation. "It gives you more than one vantage point with which to judge a style and find it's weak points."

"Then what would you recommend I start learning?" Sasuke asked. "And how?"

"Well…honestly, I'd try to learn the strong fist style, since it's the most readily available," I answered. There were several books in the academy detailing the strong-fist style. They weren't skill books, for some reason, probably because they weren't long enough or detailed enough. "After that…I don't know. I think there's some books about other styles in the Konoha library as well, you could try them and see where they get you."

Sasuke nodded. "Okay…you also talked about how you invent jutsu?"

"Yeah, well," I took a breath. "Stop me if you when I go over your head. So…"

Pretty soon, I had an audience. It wasn't just the academy students, but they started listening closely…the various Akimichi clansmen and the Clan Heads were all listening. I didn't mind, this was all stuff you could learn if you were dedicated enough to learning the fundamentals of hand signs and chakra control, something I'm discovering to be rare, I'm sad to say.

"And when you understand _that_ , you can more or less make jutsu as you please," I finished up with a nod. Sasuke hadn't moved at all, I admired his dedication…most of the academy students had glazed out and got bored. Naruto was actually _sleeping_. "…you got all of that?"

Sasuke took a breath. "No, I didn't…I'll try those exercises you mentioned, though."

"They work," Sakura nodded. "I mean, I still don't understand everything, but paying attention to the way chakra flows when you make a hand sign is…interesting."

"Thank you, Sakura," I said with a frown.

"So, Daisuke-senpai," Ino began with half-lidded eyes. "I've been wondering…what happened to you after you saved all of us?"

"You mean after I got stabbed and yanked into the sewage like a chump?" I asked for clarification.

Ino blinked and the side of her mouth twitched. "…yes, that's what I meant."

"Well," I said, sitting down in one of the chairs they had set up. "They had coated their trident with a paralytic, so I couldn't move as they dragged me into what I assume is a reservoir, made by the fish behemoth since pipes had to be broken to get in."

"Behemoth?" Ino asked with a frown.

"It's Senpai's name for the giant fish-man at the end," Sakura clarified.

"That's a weird name," Shikamaru commented from his spot underneath a tree, which Chōza had moved our circle to include.

"I'm a weird person," I replied. "Anyway, so…"

I continued and…left out the details about the syringes. Thankfully, it wasn't as hard as I thought as it could've, since the detail was actually irrelevant to the rest of the story, which was mainly about how utterly jazzed I was to be exploding fish-men.

"Then you guys showed up and the rest is history," I wrapped it up. It wasn't the best delivery of a story, not by a longshot. I used to be _so much better_ at it before I died and came back. "So yeah, the story of Daisuke's happy fun time in the sewers."

"Cool," Chouji nodded, taking the last potato chip out of his bag and then producing another one. I guess he knows about storage seals.

"So, what happened on your end?" I asked, actually kind of curious.

"Well," Naruto cleared his throat. "After you got stabbed, Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei both jumped after you…"

The story was _significantly_ better from Naruto's mouth than mine, if a little bit scattered as Sakura, Kiba and Shikamaru all chimed in to make corrections or explain something. Apparently, Sensei got kind of upset with Naruto's claims that he'll be Hokage during a crisis and got him to _shut it_. That's…unfortunate. Naruto was quiet when talking about it…there was a bit of discussion which Hisako jumped in and shut down before things got to heated and insults started being thrown at our Sensei.

Which I agreed with because, while I was mad at him, he was still my Sensei and I _did_ deeply respect the man.

But they mentioned a detail I couldn't stop thinking about once it was brought up.

Summoning.

Gai had summoned turtles to look for me. I hadn't realized, since I was so focused on staying out of the water. Might've been good if I spotted them, rendezvous with the group…at least not if I wasn't looking for Perfection Syringes.

But that thought became another thought. Kakashi could summon dogs. Gai could summon turtles. Hiruzen could summon monkeys. Jiraiya and eventually Naruto could summon toads. Tsunade could summon slugs, Orochimaru; snakes.

Summons apparently had a social order, kingdoms, civilization.

And…that meant…they might have things they need doing.

Like quests.

I blinked as I thought.

Naruto may have started the story, but it was Sakura that finished it.

We kept talking, but I slowly started to go into my own thoughts and disconnect from the conversation.

If I remember correctly, using the summoning jutsu took you to the realm of the summons most suited to you. If that's the case, something with that kind of tunnel vision and lack of problem solving skills might need some things done _._ Then they'd be giving me things to do, like killing things would be giving me quests. Which means more EXP.

…and it's completely independent of Konoha as a whole, which is a plus.

I…

 _Quest Added: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Learn the Summoning Jutsu_.

 _Go to the summons realm._

Well, I'm not going to make the mistake of assuming I've automatically got this in the bag just because I have the quest. Also, I need to figure out a way to cover for myself while I'm gone, I am being watched, after all.

But what to use…

"So, Daisuke, question," Naruto grabbed my attention. "How useful _are_ clones in a real situation, anyway?"

I blinked. _Of course!_

"Why do you ask?" I asked in response. "Sorry, I zoned out."

"It's okay," Naruto shrugged. "We were just talking and we ended up talking about how I only learned how to make clones recently and I don't think they're very useful."

I almost choked on the irony. "It depends. The Academy Clones are really only useful as distractions or to cover your retreat. But other clones, like water clones, earth clones can be used in other ways."

They also all have a Ninjutsu check of 65, which strikes me as bizarre. Then again, I guess you do need a certain level of competency to make them, in spite of their various strengths and weaknesses."

I think I can find another item that gives me enough of an END bonus to bring my Ninjutsu skill up to compensate so I don't need to wait for a level up.

Like a breastplate from Tenten.

"Other ways like what?" Naruto asked.

"Combat," I said, breaking out into a smile. "Nothing's really quite like rushing an enemy with superior numbers of _you_ , I think."

* * *

 _Author's Notes: I would actually like to say that Naruto being bad at Taijutsu is fanon. He's actually fairly average, landing just above midpoint according to data books. Only paling in comparison to Sasuke, which should surprise no one. In this case, Daisuke's own perceptions are coloring his viewpoint and he has a more vested interest in ensuring Naruto's mistakes are wiped from his style.  
_

 _It's kind of funny how things work out, huh? Anyway, after this arc is when I cut you guys off from the rest of the story. The ending part needs a significant amount of buffering, to the tune of tens of thousands of words, before I can consider it acceptable. As those of you who went ahead and read the rest of it can attest, things_ changed _at the end. I won't apologize for it, but I will apologize for my execution, which was subpar._

 _Thank you all for your continued interest and I hope you all stay on._

 _~Fulcon_


	34. A Stranger in a Strange Land

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

The book was okay.

Naruto (the character, not my friend) and Tsuyu were… _alright_ characters, the dialogue felt wonky at times, but there were a couple of moments where it was fine and Renge was…an okay villain. All in all, it was average. Neither terrible enough to attract a huge following of the tasteless or ironic, nor was it amazing enough to attract both tasteful and tasteless.

All in all, it was an alright four hours I just had. One line I'll remember, though; 'Give up thinking I'll give up.' So true.

I got home from the party and just dove right into the book on my wall. Then I finished it. What time is it? Oh, it's three in the morning.

The party was also okay…the rookie 9 were okay. Hisako and Nichiren seemed to have a good time. The clan heads were all there, talking. Negotiating some political thing, I imagine. Do I think that I could really be friends with the Rookie 9 alongside Cell 13? Probably. Did the world end? No.

So, yeah. I had a pretty okay evening.

What time is it? Oh, three in the morning.

I did get the message that the rookie 9 were being driven into the ground, though. That's good, it'll make them stronger for it. I was surprised about Hinata _not_ looking on the verge of suicide – did something happen in the sewers?

Not that I'm complaining, anyone going from suicidal to non-suicidal is a great thing in my book.

But…now…it's time to go back to the guitar. I had a thought that I should wait until I could make shadow clones, make about two or three and make _them_ play the guitar while I laughed at their misery. But that would be cheating and _I cheat enough_.

I picked it up.

Fingers in position. Strum. Switch position, play wrong note.

Inhale. Exhale. It's okay. Mistakes happen.

Raging doesn't help. It doesn't even make me feel better. It just ruins my mood for the rest of the day.

Strum, switch position, play strings…I…I did it.

I played the first five notes of the song I'm trying to play! Which is a practice song that came in the book, but still! I played it! Yay!

Fistpump!

Okay…time to keep going…pay off on what I've started.

Play string…adjust fingers…adjust fingers…play wrong note.

I sighed.

* * *

"So, I talked with my parents and we decided that you might like one of our flak-jackets instead," Tenten said, walking me over to the wall of jackets they had. "They're not uniform, so there's no chance of being mistaken for a Jounin or trying to pose as one."

"Why not a breast plate or cuirass?" I asked with a frown, folding my arms.

"We can still make one for you," Tenten replied. "But that kind of protective wear had a cost to mobility and that's an expensive trade-off for a shinobi. We did make these just recently…if you find one you like, great. If you really want an old-fashioned plate, we can make you one."

I hummed. That was actually a good point. "What goes into making these, anyway?"

"Well, they're flak jackets," Tenten gesturing to them. "They're like normal jackets, but with plates of metal sewn in. The metal is made of shops own alloy, handed down for generations in my family. They're protective, allow for greater maneuvering and are really comfortable."

"Okay," I said, looking over the jackets. I suppose it doesn't matter if the DR is the same, huh? "I mostly just wanted something that would stop me from getting stabbed from behind."

Tenten winced. "Yeah, I would too if I was in your position…here, let me show you our heaviest jacket."

She walked over and pulled a jacket off the shelf, placed there because the game told me it weighed _thirty pounds_. She held it up for me without effort, though. It was a flak jacket, standard Konoha green but it had sleeves, which was an automatic plus.

This was a heavy jacket.

 _+30 DR. +3 Endurance._

I blinked once. Twice.

"This is the heaviest thing we've produced and it offers the most protection," Tenten said, showing the parts off. "It has a solid plate here to protect to protect the upper back, coming to the area where you were stabbed, actually and protecting up to the neck. On the shoulders, here are other plates, separate from the back plate to keep the freedom of movement and here in the small area of your back, we've sewn in several rows of plates for additional protection."

"Now on the front," Tenten was actually smiling as she turned it around. She must've had a hand in making this one. "We have more plates, these ones on the pectorals and six rows of smaller plates on the abdominals. On the small of the back and on the abdominals, the plates are sandwiched in protective mesh. Finally, on the sleeves here, we've got plates for the elbows and mesh sewn into the arms."

She took a breath. "If you want heavy protection, this is the heaviest we've got."

Three endurance meant a bonus to Ninjutsu, which meant clones. The 30 DR was actually the most optimistic amount I could hope for as per Cuirass and the END was _exactly_ what I needed. In fact, there was no guarantee that anything I commissioned would _have_ that coveted END boost I needed and so…yeah.

"I'll take it," I said, not even wincing at the 100k Ryo price-tag.

Tenten smiled wide. " _Great!_ I'll ring you up at the counter."

"Does it come in blue?" I asked with a smirk as we walked her over to the counter.

"Coloring does cost extra," Tenten replied.

"I don't mind the cost," I nodded. I needed a consistent color scheme, I'm…okay, I'm casual about a lot of things, but the way my costume looks is _not_ one of them.

"Alright, that'll be 100 thousand and 25 Ryo," Tenten said, and I handed her the cash. "Thank you, I'll be _right_ out with this thing colored."

I could've colored it myself, but I both a; didn't feel like it and b; didn't mind giving Tenten's family additional business.

After a few minutes of waiting, she came out with the flak-jacket colored blue, like I asked. I'll add some additional colors later if I want.

"There you go," She said with a smile. "Anything else?"

"Nope," I said, donning the jacket immediately and feeling the extra hitpoints _coursing_ through my gaming veins. "This…this'll work. Thanks, Tenten. You're the best."

"Anytime," She smiled again. "Be sure to come back when you need more kunai!"

"I will," I bade her farewell and left the shop. Next item on the agenda is to figure out, well actually it's fixing up the Orochimaru cylinder I got so any Hyuuga's watching my apartment get fooled by the switcheroo I'm going to pull. _Then_ it's figure out clone jutsu and…I think I already know how to do the summoning jutsu. In fact, I'm already pretty sure. I could be wrong.

Third item on the agenda is to beg for missions/quest/whatever terminology they use. While it might be _nice_ to get a contract, I mostly just want the darn missions. In fact, this will probably be a quest chain where I get the contract at the end of it. That would actually be best. Something I could see going wrong is the clone getting popped prematurely – I'll need to reinforce him with seals so he burst into smoke at a papercut. I'll be using a shadow clone since Hyuuga's can't tell the difference between them.

Aaaand…I'll have something of value to teach Naruto to complete the Chasing Shadows quest. Hopefully I'll also figure out the _Mass_ Shadow Clone Jutsu and then I can get the bonus from that quest and also get more EXP.

Things are looking up!

Now, let's see…lets head on over to training ground 4, see if my ability to use Shunshin has improved. Then after that…I'm craving delicious food, so I guess I'll head to Ichiraku.

* * *

So yes, my ability to use Shunshin has gone up dramatically. The Ninjutsu skill is not just the ability to fabricate jutsu and understand how they work, but also my technical proficiency in _using_ them…I still overshot somewhat, but circling the training posts, zooming away and towards them was much easier to do and predict.

So now, I sat in Ichiraku's, getting served up a steaming bowl of ramen by Mr. Ichiraku. Ayame was probably in the back making noodles, which was actually kind of disappointing but I can probably see her again later.

The various spices and noodles danced a symphony across my tongue and I couldn't help but smile. Even if you don't need to eat, good food is still an important part of your life. It makes _me_ happy, at any rate.

"Hello, Daisuke," Ayame came out of the back, carrying a steaming pot of ramen out and setting it on a stove behind the counter. Her Dad went into the back…oh, I get it. They have shifts in place, while one is making noodles, the other works the counter and interacts with the guests and they switch out every so often. "How's the ramen?"

"Delicious as always," I nodded before slurping down another mouthful.

"Good to hear," Ayame smiled. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Will do," I said, going back to my noodles.

I took my time eating this, trying my best to savor each mouthful.

"So, Daisuke," Ayame came up to me and started fiddling with some dials on the stove. "Naruto tells me you're helping him train. How's that going?"

I mentally sighed. "Naruto's got a lot of work to do. His technique really isn't that good. He's got endurance to spare and hits pretty hard, but that's really all he's got going for him."

"Well, at least your helping him get that work done," Ayame smiled good naturedly. "That's the second time you've helped him become a better shinobi, right? Once where you got Umino-san to help him make a Bunshin properly and now you're helping him with his Taijutsu."

I had almost forgotten that I caused the butterfly that allows Naruto to make regular Bunshin, now. Geeze. "I'm trying…he's motivated to learn, so that's good."

"Are your other teammates helping at all?" Ayame asked, still smiling.

"Yeah, actually they're doing most of the work," I shrugged, stirring my ramen. "I'm not much of a teacher, so I'm mostly a sparring partner."

"You do what you can, right?" Ayame was still cheerful.

"Right," I replied, eyes narrowing. "Did you want something?"

"No," Ayame shook her head. "Why?"

"No one's this cheerful talking with me so long," I replied, taking a slurp. "I thought you might've wanted something."

"No, but…" Ayame said. "Well, Nichiren comes over here sometimes, and we talk and I was wondering…well, you guys are friends, right?"

"I guess so," I blinked. "Why?"

She took a few moments, adjusting the knobs of the stoves and stirring the pot she had brought out before responding. "Do you trust him?"

"Do I trust Nichiren," I repeated, confused. "Why do you ask?"

"Well," Ayame began. "Nichiren's been trying to get to know you better to get over his discomfort with you."

"Okay," I gave a slow nod.

"Well, he's told me about how you prefer to deal with situations on your own," Ayame started. "He honestly feels like you don't trust him. Do you?"

I took a breath. Did I trust Nichiren? "Honestly? No."

"Why not?" Ayame frowned. "Has he done something to violate your trust?"

"No, not really. I like him fine, he's a good friend," I answered. "I just don't understand him. I don't understand why he reacts to situations the way he does, what his thought process is or even his own opinion of me. I don't trust anything I don't understand."

I understand hand signs. I understand Jutsu, except for the Kawarimi. In my old life, I understood my family, my religion, how the world worked. I don't understand people now, nor the people around me -why they call me friend, rather than phenomenally useful errand boy.

"I…see," Ayame's frown deepened. "But you trust Naruto, right?"

"No," I replied. "He's my oldest friend, and I'd do everything I can to keep him safe, but I don't trust him."

Ayame blinked in concern. "Well…I hope you can learn to trust him-them, eventually."

I looked down at my ramen. Naruto was a good friend. For a long time, my only one. But I didn't understand why he was my friend either. "Honestly…so do I."

* * *

I helped train team 7 again. I was out of it…my tunnel vision was in full force. I was going to reverse summon my way to whatever, I'll hopefully get a steady flow of EXP and then I can deal with life again.

It was nearly midnight, a poetic time for this dangerous journey I was going to undertake.

The summoning jutsu took some thought, but I deduced that it's hand signs were Boar then Dog, then Bird, then Monkey, then finally Ram. I didn't get the EXP because I didn't solidify my knowledge that that was the case.

Next, however, came the cylinder.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 76/75._

Orochimaru's Stealth Boy (that's what I'm calling it) was now fixed up and the holes left in the array upon it's destruction were filled, allowing it to work on command. In a word, it was beautiful. Frankly some of the most sublime work that I had ever seen for anything, ever.

Part of me wondered if Hisako would be interested in how this thing was constructed, but for some reason, I doubted it. No reason to assume she would be, she's never shown much interest in sealing when I've been around.

Now for the master stroke. I walked into the bathroom, since that was the only room in my apartment that didn't have a window. This wasn't unusual, in spite of the fact I didn't need to use the toilet, as the boot marks on the walls showed.

Then…shadow clone.

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 68/65._

 _Quest Updated: Chasing Shadows_

 _Completed: Learn the Kage-Bunshin before Naruto graduates._

 _Teach Naruto the Kage-Bunshin._

 _(Optional: Learn the Tajuu Kage Bunshin)._

 _+600 EXP._

A smokeless clone, just the way I like it. I activated the Stealth-Boy right at that moment, used the substitution jutsu on him right at the instant he appeared, making it look like I had never moved. Hopefully, it will have fooled any Hyuuga watching my house right now.

But I needed to talk to the clone.

"What's the damage?" I asked.

He blinked and frowned. "I'm on a timer and I only have ten hitpoints."

 _Crap._ "How long do you have?"

He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "I have about an hour. Were you thinking of a seal to feed me chakra?"

"Yes," I replied, putting my hand on the clone's shoulder and putting a chakra-storage seal all over him, then I fed it all the chakra I had. "How's that?"

"My duration's been extended to eight hours and I have eighty hit points," He replied with a deep frown. "Not optimal."

"If you get popped, the whole operation goes up in smoke," I told him. He would've looked like he was talking to himself, which wasn't…unusual for me. I still did so some times. "So, stay safe, understand?"

"I'll do my best," He nodded. "You get my memories at the end, so it's not like I'll die when I pop. Again. Right?"

"Right," I nodded. "The chakra comes back to me. Besides, it's not like we haven't died before."

"Point," The Clone nodded. "I'm not touching the guitar while you're gone though, I can't afford the chakra cost to fix it."

"Good. Okay…here I go," I said, starting the jutsu. Then I stopped. "Actually, this would be bad if game mechanics made you disappear after I left."

"Good thinking," The clone replied. "A communication system would be good to set up. Perhaps a seal with a quantum link to another one? Send chakra through it for a blip."

"That's what I was going to do," I said, grabbing his wrist and putting it next to mine. A few hand signs later, and a small, watch-like seal wrote itself on our wrists, beneath our gauntlets.

 _+600 EXP._

Well, dang. Alright, go new communications jutsu.

3,745 more until level 17.

"How close are we to leveling?" The clone asked.

"You didn't get the prompt?" He shook his head. "3745 more points."

"Excellent," He nodded. "Alright, send me a beep when you get to the other side."

"Will do."

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 68/55._

 _+300 EXP._

 _Quest Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Completed: Learn the Summoning Jutsu._

* * *

 _Quest Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Completed: Go to the Summons Realm._

 _Speak with the Boss Summon._

The first thing I noted after I finished passing through that bizarre wormhole was that I was cold. Really, freaking…cold. It wasn't uncomfortable or anything, but I was colder than I remember being in _years_.

All around me was a frozen tundra, waves of snow piled up in dunes and the wind carried frozen snowflakes across the landscape. The light reflected off of the plains of white, almost making it hard to see…I had to squint.

I had two thoughts. Number 1, what creature called a frozen tundra so barren home? The second…SNOOOOOOOOOOOW!  
I dove head first into one of the tundra's, feeling the fluffy, freezing water cushion my fall as I came out again, before making snow angels. I hadn't seen snow in over a decade. I _missed_ snow. I missed it so much, I almost couldn't believe it.

Huh, I had tears frozen to my face.

Whatever.

I…remembered to send a ping to my clone and happily made a snow angel when I got a ping back. The clone was still operational, so that was a weight off of my mind. I tunneled through, made an igloo with chakra strings and scalpels and finally got back on track.

Now, I got to find the creatures that would be my quest givers. Or my summons. Whichever one gets me EXP.

With chakra-slide as my skis, I traversed the tundra's. Goggles were pulled over my eyes as I switched stances from skis to snow-board to bobsled…I was traversing snow for the first time in forever, I'm going to have fun doing it!

Over the hill! Do a black-flip! Ye-he-hes!

This…this was awesome. Just me and the frozen tundra to traverse…me and a little slice of home. My… _old_ home, in any case.

Eventually, I came to a bay. The crescent shore was encroached upon slightly by the frozen body of water that clearly lead into an ocean. Across from where I stood, I could see a frozen mountain-top in the distance.

That _has_ to be my destination.

I carefully examined the body of water and didn't see anything of spectacularly large size stirring beneath, but I decided to go around the frozen lake just in case. But as I was going too, I suddenly saw a lone…figure…on the lake, waving to me and shouting something that sounded like it was beckoning me…over…am I seeing this right?

 _Perception Check Success: 8/2._

Yeah, I'm seeing this right.

That…is a penguin. Waddling his way over to me and waving his flipper to me like he wants me to come on the ice.

My summoning animals are penguins.

 _I don't get it._

But…whatever. I guess I'll go talk to Waddlesworth over there.

I slid down, onto the ice and approached the penguin, who tilted his head on my approach.

The penguin was a short guy, came up to just above my waist. His chest was dotted with black freckles and his feet were black. His head tilted when he got a good look at me, before he buckled over laughing, his flippers holding his stomach. "Oh, oh! That's hilarious!"

"What's funny?" I asked.

"Oh, man! You're what's funny, that's what!" The Penguin crowed. "We got a couple of ninja coming here every few decades or so, but we've never gotten a _kid_ before!"

"I doubt I'm anything like your previous applicants," I replied, trying to keep my cool.

"'Zat so? Well, you probably _are_ a lot like 'dem, seeing as how the summoning jutsu brought you here," The facial muscles around his beak were curled upward like a smile. "Oh, oh. Unless you're talking about your power level or something. In which case, we don't care!"

"You…don't care," I repeated with a frown. "Why don't you care?"

"Because, fool!" The Penguin was still smiling. "We ain't interested in handing out our contract!"

"That's irrelevant to me," It's unfortunate, but it probably meant I had a quest line. Nothing unexpected. "I'm more interested in what I can do for _you_."

The Penguin stopped short, and cleared his throat. "Wazzat?"

"I don't want a contract, I want something to do," I explained further. "Preferably something dangerous, with lots of enemies to kill and a reward at the end."

"You…performed a summoning jutsu…so the summons can give you a mission?" His head tilted even further than the first time. "Really? What's the matter, you ain't getting missions from your village?"

"That's _precisely_ it," I explained, figuring it best to be honest.

"Oh, that is just _rich_ ," The Penguin smiled again. "Da wittle ninja-brat got grounded and now he's trying to get out of it."

My eyebrow started twitching.

"But you know what," The Penguin got up on his tippy-toe-claw-things, looking me in the eye while mimicking my twitching eyebrow. "We don't need help. And even if we _did need help_ , there's no way you could actually help us."

Don't flip out, that's what he wants. Don't flip out, that's what he wants. Don't flip out, that's what he…

"Says idiot penguin who can't run for anything," I flipped out.

 _Charisma Check Failure: 4/5._

The Penguin just laughed harder. "Hah! Jokes on you, I don't run! I _dance_."

Then he…started…tap dancing. On the ice, his feet moving quickly with a pretty good rhythm.

Tap Dancing Penguins. I screwed up _big time_ with this summoning jutsu.

Then the penguin _span_ in place jumped up and kicked me square in the stomach with both feet, balancing perfectly on one fin. I was knocked straight onto my back and slid backward on the ice until I stopped myself by sticking to the ice.

 _-15 hp._

"And, you know…smack idiot kids like you," The Penguin said, planting himself on the ice and assuming a Taijutsu stance as I stood up. "In my spare time."

 _I'm not a child_.

I zoomed forward and he…slid to the side, twirling with his fins out like helicopter blades. I ducked under these and brought a pair of knife-hands for a rapid strike to his side, only for him to fall flat on his back on the ice and zip around. He nearly jammed his beak right into my ankle, but I circled him with a Shunshin and punted him to the side.

He went _sprawling_ until he arrested his slide and stood himself up with a glare. "Alright. You got _some_ skills. Tell you what, _runt_. You beat me here, and I'll take you to see the Emperor…and he'll tell you what he has to say about your…'Oh _please_ gimme a mission Daddy! I'll do good, I _promise_!', hahaha."

I'm going to kill him. Well, no…that would be bad. I'm going to put him through the ice. As many times as I can.

Chakra strings sprung from my fingers and _quickly_ encased this buffoon in a cocoon. I yanked him to me and held him like I'd hold a spear.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/7._

I stomped on the ice, causing a humongous spider-web of cracks to appear, with a small hole right in the center. Despite his protests that he was only kidding (sure, pal), I chucked him through the hole, leaving a penguin-sized hole in the ice as the cold water splashed up has he sunk underneath.

…won't lie. That felt good.

Then the water splashed back in my face as the penguin leaped out, flipping in midair and landing on the ice with grace defying his poor skeletal proportions for such activities.

"Okay," He breathed in frustration. "I'll give you that one. But you're still a dumb kid. Kid."

I growled and surged forward. He fell on his chest and zoomed forward himself…until he turned sharply and dove into the hole he just left.

…wait, what?

The sound of shattering ice came from behind me, and I whirled around to see AGH WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!

I slid backward to get away from it and fell right into the hole I just threw the Penguin in, the cold water being…. actually being phenomenally uncomfortable.

 _-1 hp._

Nope, gotta get out, gotta get out…I swam out of the hole, bracing myself on the ice of the ledge and saw the penguin as he howled with laugher, falling on his back.

"Paybacks a pain, ain't it kid?" He laughed as I shot out of the water with another growl.

That was the inside of his beak. That image isn't going to haunt my nightmares at all, no _sir._

I sent out another set of chakra-strings and this time he slid out of the way like a jet-ski across the ice, turning around to ram me with that beak of his that I was sure had been reinforced with chakra. I jumped up and he jumped with me, grabbing my ankle with both flippers and pulling me down, sending me face first onto the ice. I braced myself with both hands on the surface and…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/75._

Easily slid out of his sticky grip and flung myself forward out of my impromptu hand stand back onto my feet, whirling around…my prowess with tree-walking and chakra-slide is paying off in dividends here.

I could try a Ninjutsu here, but I didn't want to kill him and Genjutsu might make him laugh more…or cause him to be a sore loser and not honor his deal. Either way, I'm actually having a bit of fun, except for his incessant laughter.

This time as he was zooming towards me, he made a new hole in the ice. I quickly applied my water-breathing jutsu and a new seal to keep my heat in and prevent the cold from damaging me…

 _+150 EXP._

Then I sunk into the ice, and caught my assailant by surprise when I appeared right in front of him and with an uppercut sent him back through the ice above us. It was three-feet of frozen water, so it wasn't like it was going to start breaking apart on us any time soon.

Also, I could see the bottom, which made me feel a _lot_ better – bottomless abysses made me feel on edge.

I followed the penguin straight out of the ice and quickly caught up with him, only to find my punch was quickly deflected by a helicopter spin and he _stuck to me again_ , this time deciding to slide around my torso and start pecking at my jacket.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/70._

He was quickly ejected and I followed him once again. He was up in an instant and he ducked beneath my strike, but was caught by the circle kick I rapidly spun into. Again, he was sent sprawling, but got up one last time.

"Alright. Alright," He nodded with a moderately impressed expression. "You got some skills. I think I've seen all I need. But you're still dumb, kid."

"Can you… _stop_ …calling me that?" I seethed out to him. "It's irritating."

"Then maybe you should gimme a name then, don'tcha think?" The Penguin snarked. "I mean, it probably would've been better if you lead with your name, huh?"

"Shimoda. Daisuke," I just avoided screaming that he should've not laughed at me at the start. "Yours?"

"The names Yujiro," He finally introduced himself. "And I guess a promise is a promise…I wouldn't get your hopes up, though. Just cause you had a decent showing when I held back doesn't mean the Emperor will grant your request k-Shimoda."

I think my look was suitably murderous for him to get the hint. "Whatever. Let's just go."

"Right this way," He waved ahead in mock seriousness. "But you better show the Emperor some respect or the entire Penguin clan will rise up as one and eat you."

"Whatever," I replied. I was done with this joker and I had already deduced the redoing the summoning jutsu would send me home.

He took off, sliding on the ice and I followed after him, doing much the same. We zipped over to the other side of the bay, then along the side of a sheer face of ice. I was right earlier, the ice-topped mountain was my destination…but it wasn't a mountain at all – it was an _ice berg_.

A huge, gigantic ice berg that lie suspended in the middle of a frozen lake, to be specific. And there were penguins. A lot of penguins. In fact, I didn't realize how many species of penguins there actually were. There were some small ones that only came up to half-thigh, but I wasn't dumb enough to simply assume they were children. Others were as tall as I was…some, which looked like Emperor Penguins, were actually _taller_ than I was.

The ice berg, I quickly realized, functioned as a palace. A pair of gates loomed in front of us. Penguins gathered all around us, but left a path for us to move forward. All of them almost without exception, looked tired. Their eyes had bags beneath them, and their facial muscles were placed in what I would approximate to being a frown.

"Make way! Make way for a guest of the Emperor!" Yujiro called, putting his flipper forward in a show…the fact that people listened to him without complaint meant he actually held some power here.

That…I'm not sure how I feel about that.

The gates opened, slowly, displacing cold air with their movement until the stopped, being unable to go any further. Yujiro and I slid forward on the ice, into the iceberg and I heard the gates behind me close with a sound that echoed throughout the berg.

Inside was a large circular room, with hundreds of windows and other seats lining the walls, reminding me of a sports stadium…or the seats for a choir. Penguins filled in through the windows, taking seats and paying rapt attention. I felt more than a little self-conscious at this, and a little incredulous when all the seats filled but it looked like more penguins wanted to get in.

Right in the center was a large pool of water with a podium on _my_ side reaching over it. There was a large bell suspended over the side, coated in snow. Yujiro slid up to the podium and rang the bell and the whole auditorium went quiet.

…he's going to come out of that massive pool, isn't he?

A great wave sprang from the pool as it was suddenly filled by a colossal Emperor penguin, easily over a hundred feet tall. He…I wasn't sure how old he was. He didn't have a beard, but the gold coloring underneath his beak seemed to give a semblance of one.

He looked down at Yujiro then at me, pausing upon my face for several moments before he turned back to Yujiro and spoke. His voice filled the auditorium, and did not sound old in the slightest. His voice was vibrant, carrying with it every ounce of authority he assuredly possessed. "Yujiro…you seem to have failed your task for the first time in years."

"My lord Emperor," The joker actually bowed. "This one is different. He told me he does not wish for the contract."

The Emperor's head tilted in incredulity. "Is that so?"

The massive head, the motion causing the air to whistle due to his size, turned to look at me. "Young one, have I heard correctly? You do not wish a contract?"

"Th-that," I cleared my throat. "That is true…Emperor Penguin. Sama."

"But you were the one who cast the summoning jutsu, the very same which all penguins felt upon your arrival," The Emperor asked for clarification.

Oh, suck it up. "Yes, Emperor-sama."

"I see," His eyes narrowed and he frowned. "Then what is it you want?"

"I…I'm more concerned with what you want?" I said, taking a breath. "I want something to do. Preferably something dangerous, with lots of life threatening obstacles and a reward at the end."

"You desire to take missions from us," The Emperor blinked, then he smirked. "That…is more than a little strange, small one."

"Well…I'm a strange person," I replied, starting to regain my composure. "Emperor-sama."

"Then the first question I must ask is why?" He asked, sounded just a little amused. "I presume, from your belt, that you are from the Leaf. Are they not satiating your lust for danger?"

"No," I replied. "They…are not."

"You've been pulled from duty," The Emperor stated like I had explained everything. "Temporarily, I'm guessing. Reckless behavior?"

"Yes, Emperor-sama," I said, not liking where this was going one bit. "I need missions. Can't live without them."

The Emperor hummed. "Yujiro, did you test this youth?"

"Yes, my lord," He replied. "He is quite capable, though easily angered."

Flipping out here would be disastrous.

"I see. Well," The Emperor nodded slowly, turning to face me once again. "Youth, have you a name?"

"Shimoda Daisuke," I responded.

"Well then, Shimoda," The Emperor said. "I will grant your request. I will give you a single test. If you pass, we will move forward. If you fail, well…you knew the risks when you came here."

"I understand, Emperor-sama," I replied. "I won't let you down."

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

 _Charisma Check Failure: 4/7._

I have no clue why he's being so indulgent with me. I…don't like it.

"Perhaps before you pledge yourself to our cause, you should understand what we're asking you to do," The Emperor said, smirking just a tad. "You see, our clan is at war."

"Perfect," I said before I could stop myself. "…please excuse me, Emperor-sama. I meant no disrespect."

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

I don't understand how that's a success.

"As I was saying," The Emperor was smirking now for some reason. "We are at war. We have been for many years. It's why, if you had come asking for a contract, we would have turned out away without a second thought…we cannot be without our best fighters at a crucial moment."

I always wondered how something like that worked.

"Our war started with the Fish Clan," The Emperor explained. "We've been warring ever since we formed clans. We needed to eat and they took exception to that. At first it wasn't too serious, they'd send the occasional disorganized army our way in anger or fear and we'd freeze whatever we didn't eat. After all, if they wanted to throw themselves at the meatgrinder, who were we to say no?"

Laughter echoed from around the auditorium as the audience yucked it up. I was grinning. Because someone _got it_.

"But, of course, things like that didn't last…the Fish Clan enlisted their cousins, the Shark Clan…somehow, to protect themselves from us," The Emperor shook his head. "Before we knew what had happened, the Sharks had allied themselves with the Sea-lion clan, so we find ourselves fighting two enemies at once."

I didn't interrupt, but it didn't sound like the war was going too well.

"So, tell me boy," The Emperor asked. "What do you know about Sharks?"

"I know they're carnivorous, can be really fast in the water and…can't float unless they're swimming," I listed off. "They aren't as buoyant as their cousins."

"Very good," The Emperor nodded. "Now what does that tell you about their combat tactics?

I thought. I thought long and hard. They lived and fought wars in water, but had trouble staying afloat, which would be trouble in a sustained offensive. Which means… "They need staging areas?"

"Exactly," The Emperor nodded with a satisfied look on his face. "That…will be your test. We have found one of their staging areas they've been using to harass us. We were going to clear it out ourselves, but we're going to send you instead."

"I see," I said. _Sharks_. I…did not like the idea of going up against sharks. Sharks scared me. They've _always_ scared me. But…I'm here. I need the EXP more than I need to stay away from sharks. "I'm ready when you are?"

"Are you certain?" The Emperor asked.

"Yes," I nodded. "I am certain, Emperor-sama."

"Very well!" The Emperor nodded. "Yujiro – show him to the East Shore. We will meet there, post haste."

…I'm starting to see why it was so easy to convince him to sign me on…he wanted a spare body to throw at the enemy and I don't think he cares if I die.

…

 _Perfect._

* * *

 _Authors Notes: A quote from the previous author's notes. "You know, I was surprised that only Joke posts got that Penguins were his summons. Everyone was hung up on his charisma and social deficiency but…see, that's a physical handicap, not really his personality. Penguins, in the wild at least, regularly make trips that last for miles to go eat, then bring it back_ single file _to their children that hatched while they were away and throw up something for them to eat. The men sit on the eggs to protect them from the cold while their wives are away. If that's not tunnel-vision and dedication, I don't know what is._

 _If you really must get a comparison to the social skills, birds are expected to fly and humans are expected to be social. So, we've got a statue summoning a flightless bird."_

 _Another fond guess for his summons were crabs, funnily enough._

 _I love Penguins, another part of why their Daisuke's summons._

 _~Fulcon_


	35. Qualifications

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _Quest Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Completed: Speak with the Boss Summon._

 _Meet the Emperor at the East Shore._

"So, I'm a little confused," I started as the two of us arrived at the shore.

"About what?" Yujiro asked, standing up straight.

"So…Sea Lions and Sharks have both allied with Fish to stop you from eating them," I asked for clarification.

"So, you _were_ listening!" Yujiro grinned.

"But…Sea Lions eat Fish and Sharks eat Fish, and they've all allied together to fight the Penguin clan because you eat fish," I summed up, ignoring the barb. "And Sharks also eat _Sea Lions_ , so the alliance makes even less sense."

"And so, you have stumbled upon one of our biggest problems," Yujiro nodded as if he were impressed. "The Alliance came out of nowhere and we haven't been able to figure it out."

"Another thing," I said. "I can understand the Fish wanting you dead, but why would the Sharks care? And Sea Lions already _eat_ Penguins anyway, why make war on you?"

"Oh, you are a smart one," Yujiro said, nodding appreciatively. "So, here's the gist – shark is delicious, and Sea Lion's grace our tables as a form of righteous justice upon their hides."

I was quiet. I thought about this for one for a good, long while as Yujiro's smile got wider and wider. "You're kidding."

"Nope!" Yujiro grinned even further. "We figured, all those years ago, that they've been eating us for long enough, that we should see how it looks on the other side of the ice berg."

"I…uh…" He has to be kidding. "I...don't believe you."

"No? Come on, you should try some shark some time…sure, if you don't prepare it right it's really tough but if you stick it down near those volcanic vents they love so much, you can get it so tender it slides off the cartilage," Yujiro licked his beak. "And sea-lions…well. We like eating them for the same reason the fish are trying to kill us – turnabout is fair play."

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. "So, you guys were apparently powerful enough to get Shark and Sea Lion served on your dinner table…your natural predators, I might add, and this ticked them off enough that they _allied_ against you."

"Yup!" Yujiro replied. "Speaking of volcanic vents, that's where you're going, actually."

Violations of natural law that I had no right to complain about aside, I blinked. "There's a volcanic vent nearby?"

"There is!" Yujiro replied. "But we should wait for the Emperor to meet us before we go further."

It only took a few moments before the Emperor penguin, massive thing that he was, created a small tidal wave that washed over us as he broke through the sheets of ice before us.

 _Quest Updated: Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Completed: Meet the Emperor at the East Shore._

 _Speak with the Emperor._

"Now, Shimoda," The Emperor turned to face me, a fierce gale of winds accompanying every sway of his head. "Approximately a quarter league from here on the bottom of the ocean lies a volcanic fissure, created by the sharks. They've been using it as a resting point for their forces in between patrols around the island."

That makes sense. Sharks have problems breathing while they're not in motion but a volcanic fissure alleviates that problem by keeping the water moving. I would normally raise my eyebrow about a volcanic fissure this close to a frozen island without melting it, but I'm unfamiliar with ocean geography and that could possibly be _normal_. Or not, because Jutsu shenanigans.

"Your mission is to kill them all," The Emperor summed up. "There should be around 50, should our scouting prove accurate. But you'll be going in _alone_."

"I see," I replied. That didn't bother me in the slightest, but curiosity did linger. "No backup?"

"This is a test," The Emperor replied with a smirk. "You're a Shinobi from a village – if you're going to be worth anything substantial in this war of ours, this should be easy."

"Understood," I nodded.

"Yujiro will handle any remaining questions," The Emperor said, turning to look at the sea. "I'm just here to watch."

 _Completed: Meet the Emperor at the East Shore._

 _Kill the Sharks: 0/46 remaining._

 _(Optional): Speak to Yujiro_.

Well…optional objectives give me EXP. I think.

You know the worst part about any quest is? When it forces you to talk to someone annoying to complete it. It just drags on you because there's a million other things you'd like to do than talk to this one irritating, insultingly obnoxious NPC that you have to talk too to complete the quest and…you know what, I think skipping a bonus objective is okay just this once.

I attempted to dive into the water, only to feel something stuck to my back and pull me back.

You know what drives me even nuttier? False choice. It's optional to talk to this person- _oops, just kidding! You have to talk to them!_

"So, hold on a second…" Yujiro pulled me back really quickly and wrapped one of his flippers around my shoulders. "What's your plan?"

"Dive in, reduce sharks to chum," I rose my eyebrow. "Why?"

"…okay, you know what? Imma do you a solid," Yujiro said, bringing the other flipper up to gesture to the ocean. "When you think of _shark_ , what do you think about?"

"I giant hole lined by teeth trying to devour me," I replied, deadpan. "With abnormally vulnerable gills."

"Right, right," Yujiro nodded. "Sit down and answer a question for me."

I growled, but complied with the request as he drew a shark in the snow in front of me.

"So when you look at that," Yujiro said as he finished the drawing. "What do you notice is missing?"

"Missing?" I blinked. I looked at him for further clarification, but he just grinned and narrowed his eyes. I looked at the picture, which had a normal shark on it, with nothing missing. "There's nothing missing from the picture."

"Of course, not, it's a perfectly healthy shark," Yujiro nodded. "But it's lacking a fairly useful tool that would let it do lots of cool stuff."

I blinked. Come on, Daisuke. Use your brain…think. Think…think…wait… "Shark Clan means it's a clan of Ninja-summons, right?"

"If by 'Ninja' you mean 'they're summoned by Ninja' then yes," Yujiro nodded. "They're more like Samurai themselves."

"…they don't have hands," I blinked at the picture. "Which…means they can't use traditional jutsu."

" _Exactly_ ," Yujiro looked satisfied, hopping back on its flippers and using…it's clawed feet…to strike a facsimile of the bird hand sign. "While we can…yet they're tossing us around like krill feed for babies. What does that tell you?"

I took a breath and…then sighed. "They're masters of interpersonal combat."

"Which means _what_ for you, if you just dive in there, fists flying?" Yujiro's smile had only gotten wider.

I grit my teeth.

"Well?" Yujiro asked cheerfully.

"They'll kill me," I finally answered. Why did it have to be _this_ joker to give me the humility pill?

"They'll eat you faster than a bleeding seal," Yujiro's smile disappeared. "Don't get me wrong. You're good, kid. But you're not that good. But, you know…if you want to just dive in there, fists flying, I won't stop you. You might even get out alive. But the better the plan, the better the rewards at the end, right?"

I took a breath. "Right."

Fine, whatever. I can come up with a plan.

"Good to hear it," Yujiro nodded and got out of the way.

"Quick question," I still frowned. "How'd they make a volcanic vent without jutsu."

"Presumably, they had help from somewhere," Yujiro replied with a shrug. "We don't know where, though…but I wouldn't worry about that right now."

 _Quest Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Completed: (Optional): Speak to Yujiro._

I stood up. What was the main problem I had fighting the Behemoth? I kept missing with my best weapon against him – Depth Charges, something that really should've been an instant win condition. My best guess was that I didn't have enough explosive power behind them.

How to remedy that problem?

Use a bigger bomb. Preferably something that still sinks quickly.

I stood up and turned around. Behind the shore was a large boulder, about eight feet tall and would take ten clones to join hands and circle it. It was _perfect_. Dozens of times larger than my lightning-based depth charges and with a proportionally larger explosion!

The challenge is floating it out there. I wonder if I can seal an object away from the worlds gravity? Or rather, just part of the objects mass from the rest of the universe. I mean, seals can do lots of weird, conceptual stuff like seal away a person's ability to tell secrets, memories, locations…partially sealing away parts of this stone's mass should be possible…

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 76/75._

 _+1200 exp._

Well, that was actually a challenge, but as the seal-work wrote itself across the rock, I felt a remarkable feeling of accomplishment. To make it better, I gleefully lifted this giant boulder above my head with one hand.

2395 more EXP to go and I'm not entirely sure Ninjutsu is even relevant as a skill with Fuinjutsu taking care of all my problems like this.

I'm kidding. Mostly.

With that…what, about a quarter of a league? That's not too far. Shunshin'd out there as fast as I can until I was reasonably sure that I had reached directly above my destination. I felt a chill in my stomach as I looked around, and didn't see anything…beneath the ocean, I couldn't see anything either. I put my head beneath the waves and _thankfully_ didn't see any murderous shark things anywhere near me.

Far below the ocean, however, I saw…something. A faint orange glow right beneath me. I was indeed over the target. Over it there seemed to be small shapes, wisps of shadow that I only knew where sharks thanks to my objective. Yeah. They were there.

Okay, so…let's go with as much power as I could put in this thing. I brought the rock down and with my other hand, I made several hand signs and then slammed my palm on the boulder, watching as a kiloton of explosive power wrote itself across the surface of the rock…then I wrote a variation of my communication seal to act as a trigger.

It was no nuclear bomb, as much as I wanted it to be, but it would get the job done. With my work done, I released the seal making the boulder light and it crashed through the ocean floor, nearly taking me with it before I released it.

The waves calmed down and I kept a vigil, staring at the boulder as it sunk, going down further and further, doing calculations in my head so as to know when the right time to detonate my bomb, while also making sure I didn't get anything on the surface attacking me. I was told patrols would come by here, I didn't want to be caught out by one.

My foot started tapping as my anxiety started to increase. I could be caught out. I seriously doubt Penguins haven't tried simply skimming on the surface of the water…I did _not_ feel like getting eaten alive again. The alternative was even worse.

Then, the time came…I set off the bomb. The water all the way up here splashed and a series of waves rocked the surface with me atop them.

 _Quest Update: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Kill the Sharks: 45/46._

 _+4500 EXP._

Holeeee…

…no level up screen. There's one survivor.

I'm in combat.

Crap.

Whereisitwhereisitwhereisitwhere…

 _Perception Check Success: 8/4._

I shunshin'd to the side as the shark burst out of the water in an attempt to chomp on me, water sticking to his fins and lengthening them like knives. It _corkscrewed_ in mid-air, it's water-wins adjusting orientation to slice downward and making me back up even further to avoid my head getting sliced open…at this point, I doubt it would be immediately lethal but crippled heads sucked more than crippled torsos.

 _Depth Charges_.

Plural. It was a lightning jutsu I devised, as it was literally a scattering of lightning balls that sprinkled from my hand and dove into the water before exploding in a flash of electricity and thunder. Once all the charges I could spare were in the water, I started moving again.

I barely dodged a water-blade from the shark's top fin and I sprayed another helping of depth charges beneath me. But they didn't catch him…they weren't working. He was fast enough to simply move out of my range and move back when the charges had detonated. It was likely the same tactic the Behemoth used.

That meant wait until I got a good visual, and since I only get a visual when he's close to the surface, that meant wait until he attacked. I _hated_ waiting. It felt like wasting time, but I wasn't so suicidal as to charge into the water…if I couldn't see the shark _now_ , I wouldn't be able to see it in the water and I preferred to have a place to retreat to.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/3._

He charged from the front while I was looking to the side.

 _Zeus._

The lightning bolt flew from my fingers while I shunshin'd backwards and it ran right into the things mouth, causing it to cackle with electricity and stop moving for just a second.

 _Zeus!_

 _Zeus!_

 _Zeus!_

 _+100 EXP._

 _Zeus!_

 _Zeus!_

 _Zeus!_

Wait, it's dead.

 _Ques Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Completed: Kill the Sharks._

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level up!**_

 _ **Level 17.**_

I just dumped all 23 points into Fuinjutsu. It was incredibly useful, broken as crap and frankly the key behind 'enchanting' my armor to allow for superior buffs. I wasn't going to die anytime soon. However, that left my Fuinjutsu at 99, so I'd need one more level before I maxed it out.

Only 4545 more until level 18 and the Water element. _Awesome_.

 _Speak with the Emperor Penguin._

I sped back to the shore, the Emperor watched me as I approached. Then he smiled. "That…was a most excellent strategy. I'm pleased you actually took Yujiro's advice...the last applicant we had to get this far didn't do that, preferring his tried and true ice Jutsu. While he did well, he was still overwhelmed. But you succeeded, something I applaud. Congratulations…you're hired."

"Thank you, Emperor-sama," I bowed in respect. "I appreciate the chance I had to prove myself."

"And we are very pleased to have you aboard," The Emperor said. "That outpost was the furthest they have encroaching on our territory. I'll have the squad I had assembled handle any additional demolition work, but I doubt that'll be necessary. Since you are undoubtedly here without the knowledge of your superior officers, I assume you'll be needing to go back to the leaf?"

"Not necessarily," I replied. "I had an eight-hour window when I arrived. I've been here for approximately three of those hours, so I should be good."

"I see," the Emperor replied. "Alas, the next major action we'll need you for won't be ready for another day…will you be here once again at the same time you arrived? That would be perfect for us."

"Certainly, Emperor-sama," I replied. That made sense, they needed to set up logistics for the war. "Where would you like me to arrive?"

"If you can control that, right outside the Ice-palace would be for the best," The Emperor said. "I will see you tomorrow. Yujiro, if you'd provide escort?"

"Of course, my lord Emperor," Yujiro bowed and the Emperor disappeared beneath the sea, leaving a tidal wave in his wake. "Well, looks like you impressed the Emperor! That makes me impressed, and a little upset!"

 _Quest Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land_

 _Completed: Speak with the Emperor Penguin._

 _Continue Assisting the Penguins._

"Why?" I rose my eyebrow.

"Because now I owe one of my friends a few krill-snacks!" Yujiro said. "Do you know how hard those are to come by anymore? They've gotten way too good at hiding!"

I started laughing. Because honestly, this guy was annoying and the fact that I annoyed him back felt like sweet revenge.

"Yeah, yeah. Yuck it up, statue-man," He frowned with half-lidded eyes.

I looked down…yeah, I lost my henge in the fight, using all my chakra like that. I rapidly put it back.

"Don't look so shocked, we all knew you were wearing one," Yujiro replied. "Might not have known what you looked like underneath it, but you were wearing one. Besides, I am glad you're alive – means we got some additional firepower on our side. Well, lightning power. That's the good stuff."

"Uh-huh," I replied, a little put off by his newly friendly demeanor. "So…shall we go?"

 _Quest Added: The Liberation of Blackfoot Island_

 _Go to the Penguin Empire at 12am._

* * *

"So, Daisuke," Hisako came up to me after we finished the training exercise for the day. Her hands were clasped behind her back and she tilted her head slightly. "How have you been?"

"I've been okay," I replied. I was leaning against the trunk of a tree, looking through the book to find some additional perks to possibly replace Ninja and Paralyzing Palm, since they were rapidly becoming obsolete. "Wh…how about you?"

"I've been good!" She chirped, smiling wide. "Helping those three is actually pretty fun. Naruto seems to be doing better, I've noticed."

"His stance has certainly improved, I replied shrugged. "All that nagging I did about it must've paid off."

"It must've," She nodded. "So, I was wondering…it's been a while since _we've_ really gone at it. In a spar. And I was wondering…if you…you know, wanted to spar?"

"Sure," I blinked. Surfing for perk choices can wait, I guess. I stood up. "So, weapons allowed or Taijutsu only?"

"Taijutsu only," Hisako replied, still smiling. "You know – I want to see how I've gotten better."

Okay. That was a little odd. Normally, she at least used her twin kunai. Bare-handed was too frustrating for her since she didn't train it much. I guess she's stepped it up while I wasn't looking.

We walked out into the grass clearing and took opposing sides five feet away from each other. I took a stance and so did she – a strong style stance. Her training with Lee's stuck with her, and she looked comfortable in it.

Predictably, I made the first move, aiming a punch for her face, which she ducked under, aiming a kick for my stomach which I side-stepped. Then she followed up with two punches aimed toward my face, both of which I parried. I aimed a knee to her stomach, but she hopped away.

Alright, I was impressed. Did she…yeah, she had training weights on. I didn't see them immediately since she had her red jacket on, but they were on her wrists and judging from the slight bulge in her pantlegs, her ankles as well.

She hopped forward again, aiming a fist at my head but also a kick to my shin. I leaned to the right to dodged the punch to my head but…the kick to my shin hit?

 _-3 hp._

Huh. She _has_ gotten better, especially evident when she followed up by landing a kick straight to my stomach and sent me to the ground.

 _-6 hp._

"Oof," I slowly stood up. "Alright, that was pretty good."

Hisako simply gave a feral grin and beckoned me forward. I rose an eyebrow and dashed forward, aiming a fist for her face and impacting, but she grappled my arm and leaped up to kick me in the face with both feet. I brought up my other arm and blocked both of them, and she spring boarded off of the arm, bouncing off one hand to land back on the ground. I rushed forward with another punch, hitting her in the shoulder and she retaliated with an elbow from the other arm to my gut.

 _-5 hp._

She's holding back, like I am. This is training and we're not trying to kill each other. But I still retaliated with a knee that she blocked, but that left her head vulnerable and I brought both hands down in a combined fist to knock her down.

"Ow," She said, slowly getting to her feet. "You still hit like an ox, you know that?"

"Sorry," I replied. "I'm not _actually_ trying to hurt you."

"But that's what makes sparring with you _fun_ ," She said, getting up with a smirk and assuming another stance. "I like the element of danger."

Why do I suddenly feel a little bit warmer…no. Oh no.

"R-right," I replied, taking another stance. "Keep going?"

"Of course," She got into another stance, flicking her hair out of her eyes with a turn of her head.

Puberty is here. Kill a shark and call it breakfast, puberty is _here_. Goodbye _any_ semblance of rational judgement for the next six to eight years and maybe beyond. I'm _screwed_. Completely and _utterly_ screwed.

…I also think it's amusing and slightly terrifying that Hisako's flirting with me because she doesn't think I'll understand what she's doing...or maybe she _does_ think I understand and is probably a-okay with _that_. I mean, I knew she didn't give up on that crush, but she's…being pretty blatant about her interest here. Or maybe that's just my retarded brain finally catching up after seventeen levels of _crap_.

She charged forward. I blocked the punch to my chest and retaliated with a punch that was similarly blocked before I moved my foot around and shoved her down. She grabbed my arms and I ended up going down _with_ her, landing on top of her.

Hisako was panting heavily. She laughed, and I quickly got up, my face burning. Then I offered her a hand up that she took. "Thanks. That was fun."

"You're welcome," I replied. "It _was_ fun."

"Soooo…" Hisako started. "…are you okay? I…heard about the mission ban."

"I…I'm doing alright," I gained a level and joined a war. I'm actually more than okay. I'm _great_. But… "Hisako, be honest with me."

She hummed and raised an eyebrow.

"Do…you think I'm self-destructive?" I asked with a frown.

She waited for a minute, her lips becoming a flat line. "To a point, yes."

I sighed. "Okay. Why?"

"Well, you did rush into hostile territory without leaving marks for us to follow and then rushed into a fight with a giant fish-man by yourself," Hisako answered with a shrug. "…why _did_ you do that, anyway?"

"I…don't suppose 'keeping you away from the danger' is going to fly this time, is it?" I asked with a sigh, sitting down.

"No," Hisako replied with an annoyed look. "No, it is not."

I groaned. "I don't know. There's a lot of reasons, I guess. I wanted first crack at him, killing him would've given me a lot of EXP…"

Hisako blinked and tilted her head. "What's EXP?"

"It's the standard of measurement for how close or far I am to a level-up," I replied, annoyed that I had let that slip-on accident. "Bloodline, you know?"

"Level-up is a power spike?" Hisako rose an eyebrow.

"…yes," Wow, I'm such an idiot.

"Don't look so down," Hisako said, sitting down beside me. "Knowing the details of your bloodline's not going to chase me off…I'm still your friend. You know that, right?"

"Thanks, Hisako," I said with a small smile. "I mean that…really."

"So…you charged into an impossible fight because it would give you lots of EXP?" Hisako asked with a frown. I nodded and she looked up, thinking. "And…there's a power-spike in the future that'll fix your social skills?"

"Along with a lot of other things," I answered with a frown. "The mission ban's… _irritating_ because of it."

"Daisuke-kun…don't take this the wrong way," Hisako started with a frown. "But I'm starting to think you go off on your own less to keep us out of harm's way and more to make sure none of us take your kills."

"I…you know what, probably," I replied, shrugging. "I don't even understand myself some days."

She actually laughed. "No wonder you got annoyed when I killed that bandit way back when."

"The fat guy on the way to Takayama?" I asked. "I…guess. But I wasn't kidding about asking how a blind guy could help us find Arai."

"Arai? Oh, right…the driver," Hisako nodded to herself. "I guess, but it fits, huh?"

"I…yes, actually," I replied. "Killstealing annoys me."

"You even have a name for it," Hisako shook her head. "Wow, okay. That means you _like it_ when you're away from Sensei during a mission, huh?"

"I won't lie," I said slowly, resting my head in my hand. "I do like doing as much as I can myself."

"Well, I can understand that," Hisako shrugged, leaning back on both her hands. "But…see, the thing is, it still looks _suicidal_ , especially when you just charge in and come back looking like you're _dead_."

"I like to get things done quickly," I said, looking at her. "Less chance for interference that way."

"But more injuries for you," Hisako frowned, sitting up straight. "That's kind of what I'm talking about. It looks like your disregarding your personal safety to blindly charge into danger…that's really concerning for those of us that, you know, _care_ about you."

"I…yeah, I guess that makes sense," I sighed. "I just…I want my social problems _over._ Before the fish-man incident, I was perfectly okay with waiting until the level up to fix my social problems. Afterwards, I thought about…well…you know the Super Henge?"

"You haven't been using it, right?" Hisako asked, brow furrowed.

"The Super Henge was a lie from the get-go," I confessed.

"It… _was_?" Hisako blinked in confusion. "Then _how_ did you do that?"

"I…have a wonky relationship with reality," I said. "So, when I wear certain clothes, I get a bonus to one of my stats. The clothes I was wearing increased my _Charisma_. My ability to interact with people."

"So…you were being serious about it just being the outfit," She deadpanned, looking across the clearing. "Huh. That…is bizarre."

"That's why I said it was the Super-henge," I nodded. "I wasn't sure how you'd react to it _actually being_ my clothes."

Hisako's shoulders slumped and she spoke quietly. "I wish you trusted us more."

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I…have a lot of trouble trusting people. Even my friends, apparently. It doesn't matter, though."

"I think it matters," Hisako frowned. "We're your _friends_ , we _care_ about you."

"No, I mean about the Charisma-boost," I shook my head. "I was banned from using anything that does it to begin with…the price I pay for being dishonest, I guess."

"Well, personally," Hisako gave me a reassuring smile. "I like you the way you are."

"You weren't complaining when I was wearing the suit," I replied wryly.

She sighed and smiled. She got the joke err…humor! "I mean, I don't mind if you don't get a boost. You're my crazy, hard-working, overpowered teammate. I _like you_ like that. In fact, I hope you stay crazy, hard-working and overpowered when you get that level up. Nichiren doesn't care if you don't get a boost either. Naruto _certainly_ doesn't care. Sakura and Sasuke don't care either…some of the clan heirs might care, but they'll learn."

"Sensei doesn't care either," Hisako finished.

"Yes, he does," I replied with a frown. "He helped put the ban on Charisma-boosters in the first place."

"He thinks you were brain-washing yourself to be socially acceptable," Hisako argued, completely deadpan. "That reminds me."

She hit me on the arm. Hard.

 _-4 HP._

"Ow."

" _That's_ for making me feel guilty about liking you while you were supposedly brainwashed," Hisako folded her arms across her chest.

"Sorry," I shrugged. "I didn't mean for it to spiral out of control like that. I…just wanted to make a good first impression for the first time in my life."

"I know," Hisako sighed, looking across the clearing again. "It's okay."

We sat in silence. I laid back on the ground, watching the clouds go by. She laid back too.

"So…what's it like?" Hisako asked with a frown. "Not needing to sleep?"

"A lot of boring nights," I answered, watching a dragon-cloud eat the sun. "I usually go for a run around the village before I end up sleeping anyway just so there's stuff to do."

"It'll probably get better once we get promoted to Chunin," Hisako said, having joined me on the grass. "That way you can do all the missions you want during the night since you won't need to wait for any of us."

"…I guess," I watched an amorphous blob drift across the sky. "That's assuming I don't get assigned to Cryptography or R&D and stop being allowed to leave Konoha because my work's too valuable to waste."

"I don't think they'd do _that_ ," Hisako replied. "There's lots of ninja who pull double duty, taking missions and doing R&D when they're in the village…keep a consistent income going, you know."

"So…both your parents are Shinobi?" I asked her.

"Yeah," Hisako nodded. "It gets kind of lonely at home, with how often they're gone."

"So, are they primarily border guards or couriers or something?" I asked with a frown.

Hisako sighed. "I…can't really talk about it. I don't actually know what they do most of the time. I can _guess_ , but…I don't know."

"I see," I replied. I…could be wrong, but I think I got what she meant. She's always wanted to join ANBU Black-ops…I think both of her parents are in ANBU. It would explain why they're so busy all the time. "Forget I asked, then."

"It's okay to ask," Hisako turned to look at me. "I just can't answer, you know?"

Right. Definitely ANBU. I will forever be grateful that, at the very least, my Charisma scales with level.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: This is the part where Daisuke's charisma has started to scale into something actually noticeable. A slight change, but it's getting there. Yay!  
_

 _Hope you enjoyed._

 _~Fulcon_


	36. In the Good Books

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"Daisuke-senpai?" Sasuke came up to me.

"Yeah?" I was waiting at the usual training ground for our study-group. I was going over the Perk List, trying to find additional possibilities. _Lady Killer_ , which I hadn't even _considered_ before, was starting to actually seem appealing...for all the wrong reasons, of course.

"I was wanting your opinion on how useful a team really is," Sasuke said, sitting down on the bench beside me. "The Academy instructors always talk about the Will of Fire and how important a team is, but you go off on your own a lot and you do fine."

"My opinion?" I repeated. "My opinion is that teammates are supposed to be your friends and you should try your best to protect them."

"So, you go off on your own because you want to protect your team?" Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "What if something happens to them while you're gone?"

"I also prefer to minimize their interference," I sighed. "Look, I am far and away the worst example of how a team can help you. If you really want them to be beneficiary, figure out how to work with them. I'm told the results of a good team are spectacular."

"But you don't agree?" Sasuke asked.

"Doesn't matter if I don't agree," I replied with a frown. "If you leave your team behind enough, you get pulled from active duty."

"Wait, what?" Sasuke looked alarmed. "You got pulled from duty?"

"Temporarily," I replied. "After our furlough's up in 10 days, I have to go through tactics classes for another two weeks…no missions until that's done."

Sasuke stopped short. "…missions are the only way for you to get stronger, right?"

"Yeah," Why do I get the feeling that telling him this is a horrible mistake? "But…you know…apparently, they think I'm going to get myself killed or something."

Sasuke steepled his fingers, going deep into thought, only grunting in response. I…really wish I had a higher charisma so I could at least get an _idea_ of what he's thinking because I just got this strange feeling of _dread_ that I might've just caused some kind of catastrophe.

"Basically, it's easier to work with your teammates now, as opposed to not and getting penalized for it later," I shrugged as a final word.

Sasuke simply grunted again, still thinking.

Then Sakura and Nichiren showed up, having met at some point down the road before.

"So, that's the main job of a medic nin," Nichiren summed up as they drew closer. "Since you have great chakra control, maybe you should consider it at some point."

"I'll definitely think about it," Sakura nodded, turning to us. "Hey, Sasuke-kun! Daisuke-senpai."

"Sakura," I nodded in response. "Speaking of medic nin, how's that coming, Nichiren?"

"Sensei finally taught me the mystical palm technique the day before the…fish-men," He nodded with a grin. "I'm still getting the hang of it – not a lot of people to practice on, we're still trying to get me permission to help at the hospital for some minor things but when I get promoted to Chunin, that'll be cleared up and I can start working there."

"Why do you need to be a Chunin to volunteer at the hospital?" Sasuke asked with a frown.

"As a Genin, you're tutored by a Jounin in the basics of being a shinobi," I answered. "When you're promoted to Chunin, you're fit enough to start more specialized training, like being a Medic Nin."

"Or cryptography or Research and Development," Nichiren nodded. "There's a lot of places you can go."

"Yeah…Research and Development," I grumbled with a frown. That reminds me, I do need to confiscate all the notes and not back down this time…destroy them. No letting myself get guilt tripped, the knowledge of what I can do could get to Orochimaru or the Akatsuki _interested_ and that'd be a headache I don't want.

"Something the matter, Daisuke-senpai?" Sakura asked with a furrowed brow.

"No, just thinking," I replied.

"So then he said 'I'm four' and he held up like nine different fingers," Naruto and Hisako had started walking up the same way Sakura and Nichiren had.

"Huh," Hisako said, turning to us. "Hey, everyone."

…Naruto remembered our first conversation?

 _Naruto_?

Huh.

Wow. I…didn't realize how important that was to him. I _think_ I'm going to treat him to ramen after this. Heck, maybe I should just take the whole group. That'd be a good thing to do, right? I'm pretty sure they'd be okay with it.

Greetings were exchanged, and we headed out to training ground four.

"So, Sasuke," Nichiren began. "You said you've been working on another of your clan jutsu. Made any progress?"

Sasuke nodded. "I can perform it now."

"Ooh, are you going to show us?" Sakura said, clasping her hands in excitement.

"I can," Sasuke nodded. This was part of the arrangement, we all shared if we've done better and new things we were working on. I don't think he would be so open if that weren't the case.

 _When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured, and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates._ It was an old quote, and I don't remember who said it but it couldn't be more true.

"Fire Release: Phoenix Flower jutsu," Sasuke struck the appropriate hand-seals and with a breath, released a _swarm_ of tiny fireballs that flew in an erratic pattern forward. What was more important was that it was _much_ faster than the great fireball. Easily a great crowd control jutsu.

Sakura gave an enthusiastic applause. Hisako and Nichiren were polite and impressed and my applause was short. Naruto gave a half-hearted one before looking away in discouragement. Well, I suppose it's good to see that the rivalry was still on. Sort of.

Chasing shadows was burning a hole in my quest log. It gave EXP, was suitably difficult and helped my best friend. There _had_ to be something I could do to get the Mass Shadow Clone. I haven't even _checked_ what the check is on it, but it had to be a higher check than the normal shadow clone. Even if it is only more of the same.

After that, we simply continued. I performed a storage seal that automatically stored chakra and got larger the more chakra it ate. I could've rigged it to take Nature Chakra, I guess, but I didn't want to it miss the normal chakra and leave the enemy _not_ drained of their most precious resource.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 99/85._

 _+1200 EXP._

3345 until level 18 and the Water Element.

An A-rank Fuinjutsu. Lots of EXP, lots of uses. Totally going to use it and make things easier later. Especially in dealing with enemy Ninjutsu specialists because screw them.

Hisako and Nichiren didn't have anything really _new_ , and Naruto only had to show a slightly improved Taijutsu stance and katas, which honestly surprised me at how quickly he's starting to improve now that he's got a motivation. Awesome. Sakura also didn't have much to show…basic physical conditioning wasn't something you could really show off immediately, you had to wait until you got the figure, but she _did_ say she's been working on the tree-walking technique, which is awesome.

After _that_ we started sparring, talking shop and other things. Naruto and Sasuke both argued on who got to be my sparring partner first, an argument Naruto won because _best friend_. We talked Jutsu as well and after the sparring, Sasuke and Naruto both started work on tree-walking. The results were…less than stunning. Naruto wasn't even able to stick due to his poor control and Sasuke destroyed a tree due to over loading it with chakra. But they kept trying, bless them.

After a couple hours, around 4, we were about to break for the day and I…

"Hey, guys?" I called. They all turned to me and I felt just a little self-conscious. Just a little. "I was-uh…I was wondering if you guys wanted to go...eat out as a group? Together? You know, hang out? And stuff? Naruto and I know this awesome ramen stand and I think everyone would like it…"

"Yes," Hisako said immediately with a small smile that did…interesting things to my insides.

Those interesting things have probably been going on for a while, just now that I've noticed that puberty is here, I look at everything it does with a microscope and notice it a _lot_ more.

"Yes! Oh man, Ichiraku's the best, you guys are going to _love_ it," Naruto said with a grin.

"I'd have to let my parents know, but yeah," Nichiren nodded. "Sounds like fun."

"Same," Sakura replied. "Where do you want us to meet?"

"…in front of the academy, I guess. Ichiraku's not too far from there," I said with a sense of relief. "I'll totally meet you guys there in…say…an hour?"

Everyone gave an affirmative, even Sasuke, who only gave the slightest of nods in response.

"Great!" I said with a smile. "I'll see you then!"

Then I Shunshin'd off, because I just had a thought.

* * *

Here's the thing – the Library has to have new books in stock. I found a skill book that I hadn't purchased in the pile of books that currently graces my room…additional ones had to have spawned. I _need_ more skills. At least one book for Fuinjutsu to round out my 99 to 100.

Because it's bothering me.

It's bothering me _a lot_.

Just like that guitar.

…I haven't given up on it. My clone just smashed it when the guitar's very presence offended him enough to try and learn it and he smashed it and didn't fix it because _chakra cost_. I haven't bothered to fix it yet.

The repair jutsu is actually a two-step, adapted henge. The first part puts the pieces back together, the second perma-henges them back together – no elemental chakra necessary. The sad part is that perma-henging something only works on objects without their own chakra network and changing an object to permanently be something else is prohibitively expensive. It's most efficient at what it was designed to do and if you want something else, use another jutsu.

Still probably going to teach Naruto and see what he comes up with. My bet is that he changes all the faces on Hokage Mountain to be his own for a prank. Or uses it to apply permanent paint to their faces.

I arrived at the academy in record time. The security, thankfully, had been reduced from the whole building to just the classroom the Rookie 9 were abducted from, leaving the library open. So, I charged up there, showed the Librarian my ID card and started looking.

No clones, my summoning gambit relied on everyone thinking I didn't use them. But I did look. I went up and down shelves, took random books out of their shelves and started reading, only to put them back when the skill increase didn't happen. I started using chakra-strings to pull out the books and start reading them in rapid succession only to put them back. I was getting antsy. I need more skills. I mean, I'm going to max everything long before I hit the level cap of 50, but I still want it done as fast as possible.

Skills are good.

 _+1 Fuinjutsu_.

 _Yes!_

Okay, I am officially the foremost expert in Fuinjutsu in the whole elemental nations. I mean, I kind of was before, but now there's not even a sliver of a doubt. Okay, what else can I find here…

Nothing.

There's nothing else here.

"Are you looking for something, Daisuke-kun?" I looked up and saw the Hokage approach me with a kindly smile on his face.

"I'm looking for books to increase my skills," I replied, figuring it would be best to be honest at this time. "Hokage-sama."

"Books increase your skills?" The Hokage asked, frowning immediately. "But training does nothing for you."

"It doesn't," I replied, my mouth a line. "But _some_ books increase my skills the same way my power spikes do."

"I see," The Hokage nodded to himself. "Perhaps you might be willing to indulge me, then. How _do_ your power spikes increase your skills?"

"It's a percentage increase," I shrugged. Whatever, it's not like he won't ever be able to figure this out on his own. "Every book I find increases the appropriate skill by one percent, bringing it closer to total mastery."

The Hokage hummed. "I'm assuming that your Chakra control is at one-hundred percent mastery?"

"Yes, it is," I nodded, still looking for skill books while talking to this old codger.

"Any other skills?" The Hokage asked.

"As of ten minutes ago, sealing," I answered.

The Hokage was frozen. "Did you say sealing? As in Fuinjutsu?"

"Yes," I replied. "Because that skill is valuable."

"I am quite aware of how valuable it is," The Hokage replied, looking a little disconcerted. "A book allowed you to get that far?"

"I was a percentage point off from it anyway," I shrugged. "But now…if there's something that can be done with seals, I can do it…provided I've got the smarts to work out all the pieces."

The Hokage hummed again. "…how many skills do you have that can be brought to perfection?"

"A grand total of thirteen," I answered. "No more, no less."

"Hmmm…well, Daisuke-kun," The Hokage started. "I've come to tell you that the research team has found out everything it can about your bloodline within the bounds of Konoha Law…since there has been nothing that would put the majority of Konoha in immediate risk and you seem to know everything about your blood line, the research has been concluded."

I blinked. I was _not_ expecting that.

"The research notes will be delivered to your apartment to do as you will with them," The Hokage finished. "Also, you'll be happy to note that Yakushi Kabuto, the Ninja you requested remain off the team? We actually found that he had some connections with a traitor to Konoha. So, we greatly appreciate that you told us about your…hunch."

"A traitor?" I asked. "You mean Orochimaru?"

"Why would you think Orochimaru?" Hiruzen asked.

"The research notes I recovered in the sewers," I replied, full BS. "If Kabuto was a traitor, he'd obviously work with one who had common interests – he was a medic nin and Orochimaru was a scientist. They coincide."

 _Speech Check Success: 44/25._

Thank you, game.

"I suppose that does make sense," The Hokage mused. "But no. The connections we found were to another traitor, Shimura Danzo. We will apprehend him, thanks to you."

"That's good, then," I replied. Kabuto had connections to Danzo? That's…odd. I guess it makes _sense_ for him to have been a Root agent, but I just never thought of it. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Hokage-sama?"

"Well," The Hokage began. "I needed to know…do you understand _why_ you've been pulled from missions?"

"Because…I don't know, I didn't leave markings for my team to follow beyond the corpses of my enemies," I shrugged. "I didn't attempt to rendezvous with the rest of the group, I didn't wait…basically, I'm not a team player."

"That is correct," The Hokage nodded. "As a result of not being a team player, you've nearly gotten yourself killed. I understand getting kills helps you grow stronger, but that doesn't excuse trying to get the battlefield to yourself."

"With respect, Hokage-sama," I started. "But since I can sleep off almost anything, literally almost anything, and I always know how close I am to death, the chances of me _actually dying_ are insanely low. Especially since my condition remains static after I get injured."

He hummed again, stroking his beard. "You always know how close you are to death."

"Down to the last point of health," I confirmed with a nod. "And I can recover fairly quickly with blood pills."

"Then why did you come out of the sewers coughing up blood and still suffering from your chest wound?" The Hokage asked with a frown.

"That," Oh, crap. Yeah, an injury like that looked bad. "That was…an interesting circumstance. Blood pills don't fix ruptured organs or broken bones…but as long as I have health, I'll stay alive. Crippled limbs are irrelevant."

"But you can still die," The Hokage said.

"Yeah," I answered, not entirely able to meet his eyes for some reason.

"That's what your team is for," The Hokage replied.

"I guess," I frowned. He…had a point, I suppose.

"Ultimately, the point I'm trying to make is that, durable though you may be, hard to put down, though you may be, you can still die," The Hokage summed up. "None of us want that. Do you?"

"…no," I replied. "Not really. I just want to get up to the point where my…social problems are taken care of."

"I know you want it fixed," The Hokage said. "But at this point, you have to ask. With all the clan's eyes on you, are you really willing to deal with clan politics _before_ you have the strength to establish yourself as a dominant player in the arena?"

"I…is my Charisma really the only thing keeping me out of Clan Politics?" I blinked.

The Hokage frowned slightly. "Yes. Yes, it is. Your teammates have also learned how to look past it and you are doing better for that as well…you don't need to go into clan politics right now."

I sighed. "Fine."

"So, what have you learned?" He asked.

"I...that my team is there to help me stay alive as much as I'm there to help them," I rattled off, going over what we've talked about. "Going with them reduces my chances of dying and increases my chance of actually getting to the point where my social issues are taken care of, so it's foolish to simply charge in to save time."

 _Speech Check Success: 44/40._

"Good…now," The Hokage said with a smile, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Let's see if we can find some more books for you."

* * *

By the Hokage's order, I was given _supervised_ access to the Chunin and Jounin libraries. Basically, as long as they know what I'm looking at, I have total access to their library, which _means_ …

 _+10 Medicine._

 _+7 Ranged Weaponry._

 _+3 Taijutsu._

 _+5 Ninjutsu._

Then, based on what I told and showed what worked for me, he went ahead and went to the Libraries back room and brought a large stack of other books out for me.

 _+5 Ninjutsu._

 _+5 Genjutsu._

 _+5 Taijutsu._

 _+5 Ranged Weapons._

Naturally, I was utterly and absolutely gobsmacked. As far as ways to get back in my good books…this was a pretty good one. I think I've grabbed every skill book in Konoha until more spawn. I…holy cow. This was _insane_. I think he could tell how giddy I was, too, because he was smiling as well.

Awesome!

After my skill-book bonanza, I headed off to the Academy gates and met everyone there. Then we introduced Hisako, Sasuke and Sakura to the wonder that is Ichiraku ramen. Because that stuff tastes _good_. I mean, really, really good.

Hisako sat to my left, Naruto to my right and then going down from that is Sakura, Sasuke and Nichiren. Ayame looked really happy that everyone had showed up; she bowed, she took orders and struck up a conversation with everyone.

I…didn't really have much to say. I mean, I invited them all hear, but I wasn't one to talk unless it involved jutsu. I just…listened while everyone else talked and tried to avoid thinking about where I was going tonight _because_ then I'd end up obsessing about it and not be able to pay attention at all. It was nice, all things considered.

After an hour or so of…socializing, if you can call barely speaking with anyone socializing, we all departed for our respective homes. I dove into my apartment through the window and…saw my guitar, still in pieces.

Let's try again.

I put it back together, opened the play book. Let's go slowly. From cord to cord. Got to learn. The old-fashioned way. Don't get frustrated. Don't give up.

Inhale.

Exhale.

This would go on for several hours, focusing and driving my obsessive personality on those strings and frets and trying to get better. It was the only thing I've found that doesn't use Game Mechanics to succeed. I _need_ this in my life. Even if it's maddeningly difficult that I don't just get it right away because I have the stats and…

Inhale.

Exhale.

Fix the guitar, and start again.

Until, eventually, it was time.

Midnight was about to strike. I went into the bedroom, where I've left the blinds down for the whole day. Normal eyes won't see anything and they won't be suspicious because I'm suddenly closing blinds.

I hope that's how it works.

I was a little disappointed that I made so little progress, but fighting a war should lift my spirits considerably. I had the cylinder in hand and I used the Shadow Clone Jutsu, substituting and activating it as per the previous evening. With a salute, I activated the summoning jutsu and quickly found myself in the winter wonderland once again.

 _Quest Updated: The Liberation of Blackfoot Island._

 _Completed: Go to the Penguin Island at 12am._

 _Meet the Penguin forces at the North Shore._

Alright. Well, I'm back in the spot I came to. The Penguins are my summons. Or they would be if they let me sign their darn contract but fighting a war about who gets to eat who is good too. As long as I try not to think about the implications…I mean, I'm fighting to stop genocide. That's good, right? Right.

This time, Yujiro was there to greet me.

"Well, you actually showed up," The Penguin nodded with a raised eyebrow. "Good. I was almost worried you'd rethink your decision."

"Why would I?" I asked with a frown. "Fighting is fun."

"Enough to join the losing side of a war?" Yujiro smirked. "You crack me up, Shimoda."

"Whatever, let's just get moving," I said with a mental groan.

"Quick question, before we go," Yujiro held up a flipper. "You can make more of those rock bombs, right?"

"Yes," I nodded with a smile. "Yes, I can."

" _Great_ ," Yujiro grinned. "We need more of those."

"How many more?" I asked with a frown.

"About six," Yujiro replied. "They can be set off like normal explosive notes, right?"

"Right," I replied. "You'd have to time the fuse right, though. That's why I prefer remote detonation for them. More control."

"You can detonate them from afar?" Yujiro asked with interest.

"Yeah, but it's kind of complicated," I answered. "If you know how deep the targets are, then it doesn't matter, you could rig them the old-fashioned way."

"We do know how deep the targets are," Yujiro nodded. "Now are we going to sit around talking or are we going to move?"

"Give me just a second," I said, making several hand signs and slamming them to the ground.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 100/90._

 _+2400 EXP._

945 more EXP until I level.

The Flying Thunder God technique scrolled itself on the ground…if something bad happens or I wind up getting reduced to under 10% health, then I've got the means of retreat. I may be willing to fight for the Penguins, but I'm not particularly willing to _die_ for them. I'll probably write another one if I hit landfall somewhere so I'd be closer to combat and can come back after downing some blood pills.

"Alright, let's go."

With that, Yujiro fell on his belly and we started sliding to the rendezvous point. Over snow, past the frozen bay and even past the Ice Berg Palace. Eventually, we arrived at the North shore where _quite_ the sizable contingent was preparing to move. _Lots_ of penguin soldiers. Decked out in what I could only assume was shark-leather armor.

Well, at least they use _every_ part of the kills they make. It's morbidly cool.

As we maneuvered in, the air was filled with chatter. Excited. Nervous. Not everyone today was going to come back home. That's just how war _works_. It was only a matter of _who_ were those unlucky enough to not come back home. One of those might be me, if I'm not careful.

That's a little worrying, actually. I need to give myself an advantage.

Yujiro lead me to six, large boulders that had been carved out of the stone. "Alright, kid. Make these into bombs."

"How deep are the targets?" I asked.

"Shallowest is 1000 feet below, deepest is 1075," Yujiro replied.

Oh. Only a couple second's difference, then. Pretty shallow, too, but jutsu and chakra mucks that up a bit. "Alright. You want them easy to carry or can you handle the weight as is."

"Depends," Yujiro asked. "What do you mean by 'easy to carry'?"

"I used a seal to make the bomb lighter yesterday," I answered, writing a bomb seal on the first ball and moving forward. "Just remove it when you're ready to drop and it sinks like normal."

"Is it easy to remove?" Yujiro asked with raised…well, not eyebrow, but the muscles had moved all the same.

I wrote a seal to demonstrate, then picked it up with one hand. Then I set it down. "Just inject chakra into this little circle right here and seal will dissipate."

"Do it," Yujiro nodded and I obliged. "The easier for the Vanguard, the better."

"Understood," Replacing the seal on the rock and moving on. "So, where are we headed with these?"

"You'll get a mission briefing from your squad after you're done sealing these up," Yujiro replied. "Once we're all ready to move, the Emperor will give a speech, and the operation will begin."

"Alright," I shrugged.

Once all the rocks were light as a feather and packing half a kilo-ton of explosive power, Yujiro escorted me to a group of four penguins, each of the Emperor variety.

"Alright, Squad 3. This is Shimoda, our little mercenary," Yujiro introduced me, slapping my back to get me to step forward. "Get him up to speed. I'm off to brief the other squads how to use the bombs."

"Can do, Yujiro," The short, squat member of the group bowed and Yujiro waddled off. "Alright, Shimoda. I'm Captain Shinzo and this is-"

"-Riku," The physically largest member of the group gave me a nod.

"-Masato," No nod, just a frown from the skinny one.

"-And finally, Shoraku, but we just call him Rookie because he's the youngest in the group," The youngest member didn't look too bothered by this and he nodded his head enthusiastically.

"Pleased to meet all of you," I said in greeting. "Now, what's the mission?"

"This mission is the beginning of the campaign to liberate Blackfoot Island," Captain said with a frown. "I don't know if you know this, but not all penguins are suited to exist on the frozen tundra. Blackfoot Island was the home to the Black Footed Penguins – like our beloved Court Jester, Yujiro."

His occupation is Court Jester? Makes sense. He's still a jerk though.

"Our job is simple," Captain continued. "The Sharks have set a deep-water blockade over the Island while the Sea Lions keep themselves concerned with fronts closer to the surface. We will be one of six squads taking those giant bombs over there and dropping them right on top of their outposts to kill them all. Once that's done, we'll move in from the deep onto the shore with the rest of the army."

I nod. Alright, sounds simple enough.

"Today is also a special day for all of us," Captain said with a wistful look. "We get to fight alongside the Emperor himself."

"The Emperor is coming with us?" I asked. That's odd, I wouldn't think he'd be the type to…wait, these are _my_ summon animals. Of _course,_ he would be the type to charge in.

"Oh yeah," The Captain grinned wide. "He has to, because if either the Sea Lion Boss or the Shark Boss show up, he's the only one that can stand a chance."

That makes sense. "Do either of these bosses have a special name or title like the Emperor does?"

"Eh, the Shark-boss does," Masato answered with a frown. "They call him The Megalodon. We don't know what it means, but he's _big_."

They have a prehistoric shark as their boss? Hooboy.

"Riku would be one of the few Penguin's whose seen him and lived to tell about it," Captain said, shaking his head. "Or, he would…if a fish hadn't eaten his tongue right out of his beak."

I did a double-take. "Wait, what?"

Riku leaned forward and opened his beak, revealing an empty space where a seal had been written.

"Wow, huh," I said, frowning. "Sorry about that."

Riku just shut his beak and shrugged.

"But just to be clear," Captain said, turning to me. "You're a ninja, and you may be used to doing things your own way. But you follow _my_ orders on this operation. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," I replied with a bow.

"Good," Captain replied, seeming satisfied. "You're in charge of handling the bomb. After it's detonated, we are to send an ice-mortar back to the island to let them know that the operation has been taken care of. Now to be clear, if anyone sees The Megalodon, your orders are to swim away as fast as possible. No engaging because he needs to die, that's the Emperor's job."

It's almost like he's talking to me still, but the squad nodded in affirmative so…maybe not?

The sound of a whistle sounded across the camp and our attention was called to the Emperor, who looked as if he were ready to address the army.

"Fellow Penguins and assorted mercenaries," The Emperor began. "Hear my words. Today is a time for action. Your fellow penguins have been forced from their homes or separated from their families over the course of this war against the _absurdist_ trifecta of fish, shark and sea lion. But we will not let them get away with this! We will not let this stand! Today, we take back what's ours! Today, we restore the homes of our black-footed brothers and sisters! What say you?"

Cheers. They were loud, they were hopeful and most of all, they were angry. The Penguins around me wanted blood. If there were still penguins on Blackfoot Island, they were Sea Lion and Shark food. That's a _horrible_ thought. Me? Well, I'm not here to eat. I'm here for the EXP and in this war, I'm pretty sure traditional morals fit less than in the human portion of the Naruto world.

Just don't think about it. I don't want to get depressed all of a sudden.

"Vanguard!" The Emperor called, and I stiffened. "Begin the offensive!"

Myself, Squad three and the rest of the squads slid across the water.

 _Quest Updated: The Liberation of Blackfoot Island._

 _Completed: Meet the Penguin forces at the North Shore._

 _Destroy Shark Outposts: 0/6._

 _Kill all Sharks: 0/151._

Well. I'm assuming the Penguins are going to get most of those.

…when we get to the Island, I'm going to try what I _think_ is the Mass Shadow Clone jutsu. That'll get me level 18 and Water Element, and we're going to need ever advantage we're going to get.

* * *

 _Authors Notes: "Before you ask, yes. Squad 3 is somewhat based on the Penguins of Madagascar. I regret nothing._

 _Secondly, the War is in Major Swing – he's not using the Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu_ now _because that could throw the army into disarray and he might hit a level cap like he did with the Rasengan and knock himself out for a bit, even with a (boosted) END of 9. Since he's the one in charge of the bomb for his squad, that would be bad._

 _Thirdly, I would like to thank those who suggested the Hokage give Daisuke the skill books he'd need…I think it'll go a long way to repair damaged relations between the two. The Punishment's unchanged, but Daisuke at least understands some of the rationale behind it."_

 _From the old author's notes. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	37. The Liberation of Blackfoot Island

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

We zipped across the surface of the water. Captain took the lead in an arrow-head formation. Riku and Rookie were on the left and Masato and I were on the right.

"How do we know when we're above the target area?" I asked over the sound of water splashing above us.

"You don't need to worry, Shimoda," Captain replied. "I have thoroughly memorized the exact location of each area from our scouting reports...I'll know _exactly_ when we're above the target area."

"Alright," I wasn't necessarily going to argue, even if I doubted he would be completely correct. We'd probably get a couple survivors and there's…what, 25-26 sharks per outpost? So…maybe one or two stragglers we'll need to eliminate the old-fashioned way. Worst case, half a dozen, maybe more.

We continued to move until Captain rose immediately with a hand in the air. I stopped, thankfully able to stop the bomb with me.

"Hup! This is the target area," He said, turning to me. "Do your thing."

I set the bomb on the surface, started the timer then undid the gravity seal. It plunged beneath the waves and then all we had to do is _wait_.

"Riku! My Spyglass," Captain ordered, holding out his flipper.

Riku opened his beak and…spat out his spy-glass. _Ohhhhh_ …the seal in his beak is a storage seal. I was curious.

He stretched out the collapsed telescope and brought it to his eye, looking in the direction of the main island. "Battle stations, men! We have Sea-Lion's incoming. Keep the blood to a minimum, we don't want to bring the sharks up on our heads!"

No blowing them up? Darn it. That makes things _difficult_. Well, at least I have lightning!

…also… ' _up_ on our heads'? I guess it makes sense because the sharks are below us, but it sounds weird.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

I could barely make out their forms as they moved like dots across the water and gradually getting larger. From the distance, I could tell that the lions were _big_. Bigger than I was as they zipped across the water like speed-boats burning Nitro...

Wait, _can_ speedboats use Nitro? I don't think they can.

Just a second to put down both speedboats and nitro in my little black book before they catch us.

Eventually, they came into range of my Jutsu. _Zeus_.

 _+100 EXP._

Nice.

The smoking corpse of the guy in front went down and the others started to scatter.

There were only five of them.

"Masato, Rookie!" Captain barked. "Give us some barriers, we don't want them getting too close. Shimoda, keep on doing what you're doing."

"Yes, Captain," The three of us replied.

 _Zeus._ The Penguin's created ice-bergs around our area, forcing the sea lions to have to skirt around them to get at us. Apparently, their lack of finger-like appendages meant the sea lions couldn't do jutsu _either_ , which left them at a serious disadvantage…I'm starting to wonder how and _why_ they were able to keep the Penguins at bay for so long...

 _+100 EXP._

They got closer, the Penguins ice spikes lagging behind and allowing the Lions to maneuver around us. One of them jumped straight up into the airandrightintomyfaceOHCRAP!

I slid backward and the Sea Lions open mouth collided with the ocean below. They were definitely bigger than I think they should be. It was at this moment a muffled explosion sounded and a pillar of water shot up from under me.

 _Quest Updated: The Liberation of Blackfoot Island._

 _Destroy the Shark Outposts: 2/6._

 _Destroy the Shark Outposts: 5/6._

 _Completed: Destroy the Shark Outposts: 6/6._

 _Kill all the Sharks: 51/151._

 _Kill all the Sharks: 101/151._

 _Kill all the Sharks: 126/151._

 _Completed: Kill all the Sharks: 151/151._

 _Signal the Emperor that your task is complete._

 _+2600 EXP_.

 _Nice!_

…wait…100 EXP per shark…I didn't get the EXP for the other bombs. Lame. Not unexpected, but lame nonetheless. Also, the bomb trick on their outposts isn't going to work forever…after this, they'll probably come up with some safeguards.

"Engage!" Captain ordered. "Don't worry about chumming the water anymore, just kill 'em!"

Masato and Rookie went after the one Captain Shizo pointed at. Rookie dove beneath the water and Masato shunshin'd behind the lion, who warped around, waving his front flippers in a ferocious melee, only for Rookie to come up from the underside and spear it with his beak.

…ouch.

One left. Where'd he go?

Riku dove under the water and I dove with him.

Now that I was under the water, I could see the sheer size of the smoke clouds that hung in the water, showing off just how massive this bomb we had dropped on them was…oh. Well, I guess introducing nukes is a pretty good way to win a war, huh?

Focus.

Oh, there he is! He's swimming back to the island to get word back to his comrades…yeah, no.

 _Zeus._

The Lightning bolt flew past Riku, travelling obscenely quickly in the water and hitting the sea lion square in the rear, causing its body to stop short and spasm uncontrollably.

 _+100 EXP._

 _Nice._

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level Up!**_

23 skill points and a perk…I'm not working toward Ninja anymore and I can get paralyzing palm anyway and all the perks I want I'm going to meet the requirements anyway, so…hmmm. I'll just put 12 points into _Taijutsu_ , bringing it to a solid _100_. Ah, that feels good. Then one point into _Barter_ , bring it to a 10 so I can at least pass maybe _one_ such check at some point in my life. Then 8 points into Medicine, bringing it up to a solid _50._ Finally, _2_ points into _Speech_ , bringing it up to _40_.

For Perk, Elemental Training, _Water_.

5,595 more experience until level 19. Awesome!

I'll start abusing my 'water regenerates my health' in no time!

"Sea lion eliminated," I reported after surfacing.

" _Terrific_ ," Captain replied. "Masato, send an Ice Mortar and let the Emperor know we've completed our task."

"Yes, Captain," On his flippers, his claws making seals in front of him, Masato spat a large chunk of ice the _screamed_ into the air, disappearing on a trajectory going towards the Emperor's main forces.

 _Quest Updated: The Liberation of Blackfoot Island._

 _Completed: Signal the Emperor that your task is complete._

 _Drive the Sea Lions from the Island._

"Spyglass," Riku coughed up the telescope again, and Captain Shizo held it to his eye. "Everyone, under the water…the Emperor's coming."

All of us sunk underneath the water, I stuck with the group. With the Emperor's sheer size, I didn't want to end up like undersea road-kill and these guys would know how deep we'd need to be to avoid that. And we _did_ go deep. To the point where I could actually start to see the surface below us beyond the dissipating smoke cloud from the bomb.

Pretty sure we're down here to make sure there's no survivors, now that I think about it.

Above us, I saw the massive shape of the Emperor zoom above us, followed by the Penguin army which zipped behind him like a series of arrows. Before they reached the Island, the Emperor himself dove beneath the surface to patrol the Island himself. Oh, yeah. His job is to deal with the Megalodon or the Sea Lion Boss if they show up. Right.

A slap to the back of my head. I whipped around and the captain gestured to head to the surface. I bit back the urge to punch him in the beak and did as instructed, swimming to the surface, popping out and standing on the waves.

"Good work, men!" Captain yelled with a grin. "We have our orders, let's move in to reinforce the main army and make those Lions _pay_ for ousting our brothers and sisters from their homes."

Cheers from the other three as they slid forward on their stomachs. I followed just behind them. The Island itself was rocky, with only the occasional greenery being present to break up the boulder-y image that was present. The island probably got _really_ cold at times, to boot.

Squad 3 and I moved fast, zipping up the beach and into an almost too-narrow passage made by the mountains right at our chosen points of entrance. But _that_ didn't stop us. Thanks to chakra-slide, we moved through it with all the speed we had before coming out to the other side to a _bloodbath_.

Penguins and Sea Lion's danced around each other in the clearing. A trio of penguins speared a sea-lion through the side as it charged at a lone penguin. A Sea Lion bit off the head of a penguin and sent its body straight at a pair of penguins and knocking them over like bowling pins.

I cracked my knuckles and went to work with a giant grin on my face.

I zoomed forward. A sea-lion turned toward me and jumped over my charging fist and I fell on my back to plant both of my feet into his belly, causing him to explode upward and I quickly slid over to my next target.

 _+50 EXP_.

I leapt up and landed a kick to the head of one of the squad leaders, so denoted by the semi-unique ascot on his neck before landing on my hands and spinning like a break-dancer, ending two more of them with a helicopter kick, splattering their remains all over the sand and rock around us.

 _+150_ EXP.

I locked onto a target, standing on his rear flippers and spinning around like a helicopter…you know, I'm starting to think the Penguins and Sea Lion's may not be all that different. Whatever. _Zeus_.

He saw it coming and ducked beneath the lightning bolt before sliding up the rock face behind him.

 _Zeus_!

Zapped like a fly on the wall, he fell to the ground, twitching and jolting with small bolts of electricity lighting up its skin. Behind _me_ there was another rock face and I zipped up it and got a birds-eye view of the battlefield. I licked my lips.

 _Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus!_

 _+200 EXP_.

Some of the Sea Lions got the idea that they needed to come kill me fast…five of them started zooming up the mountain towards me.

 _Sith Lightning!_

The stream of electricity from my fingers headed off the initial offensive, taking down the first two while three of them split into two directions to pincer attack. I slid just to the side to avoid a slap from one, planting my fist in the side of his face and watching his head explode and the body fall off. I jumped off the side and used chakra-strings to pull myself back to the wall, right on the body of one of my attackers before sliding forward and nailing the other with a spin kick to the face.

 _+250 EXP._

4945 to go before level 19.

 _Zeus! Zeus! Zeus!_

 _+150_ EXP.

Sadly, I wasn't the only combatant and after this latest round of lightning, the Sea Lions actually started to retreat, sliding around the rocks in the clearing. I zoomed forward, following the penguins as they each went after them. Squad 3 and I reassembled on the chase, zooming over and around the rocks as we chased them away from the island.

We came to what looked like a village…there was a stone table and there was a penguin corpse on it, the insides had clearly been eaten out. It wasn't _human_ , so it didn't disturb me the way I think it disturbed the others but if _this_ was what they were fighting against, I can see why they'd want to kill some people.

But we chased them regardless. The survivors of our attack split off into groups and the squads went after them. Our group chased about five of them all the way to the shore line...it looked like they were going to get into the water, at the very least but that's when the _Emperor_ surfaced.

They screamed and scattered. The Emperor rapidly bent down and bit snapped up two of them, spitting their corpses out as the other three got away.

"Let them flee," The Emperor said with a grave tone. "They'll bear our message to their masters. Instead, focus on finding survivors. The other squads will focus on shoring up our defenses."

 _Quest Updated: The Liberation of Blackfoot Island._

 _Completed: Drive the Sea Lions from the Island._

 _Find Groups of Survivors: 0/6._

"Yes, Lord Emperor," the captain bowed. "You heard the Emperor, men! Get to searching!"

We moved back, heading to the villages and looking for caves the survivors could've hid inside. I exploded a rock and revealed a cave opening. "Captain, I think I've found some!"

"Excellent work!" The Captain said, arriving at my side. "This is Captain Shizo of the Emperor's Royal army! Are there any penguins inside?"

After a minute of waiting…a penguin, very clearly the same species as Yujiro, came out of the shadows. His eyes went wide and were full of excitement. "The Royal Army's here! The Sea Lions have been driven out!"

 _Find Groups of Survivors: 1/6._

One by one, they filed out of the cave, blinking in the light of day. The looked utterly ragged, partially starved and they had _deep_ bags under their eyes. Trapping themselves in a cave had _not_ been good for them…but I guess it beat the alternative.

 _Find Groups of Survivors: 3/6._

 _Find Groups of Survivors: 4/6._

 _Find Groups of Survivors: 5/6._

 _Completed: Find Groups of Survivors: 6/6._

 _Speak with Yujiro._

With every group we found, each as haggard and tired as the last, the island started to feel more and more dead. They converged in their villages, picking up the pieces of their shattered lives. Every village I passed shortly had the Emperor himself following by. Every villager would fall to their knees at his passing.

"We knew you wouldn't forsake us," Some would say.

"Long live the Emperor," Others still would reply.

I ended up finding Yujiro at the village we passed after our initial skirmish, standing before the hollowed-out body of the penguin that laid on the stone table.

I stood to the side and…wondered _how_ I'm supposed to talk to Yujiro. Did he know her? Were they close?

"…did you know her?" I finally asked.

"No," Yujiro shook his head. "But what happened to her was disgusting all the same. She was pregnant, you know."

"How do you figure?" I asked with a frown.

Yujiro reached into the body with his flipper and gently lifted out a broken egg shell. Ooh.

I blinked. "So, what's the end game? Genocide?"

He barked out a short laugh. "As much as I wish, no. We never wanted to kill them all…we still don't. Killing them all would be bad for our food supply. No, our end-game is their complete subjugation so all those still living will never rise up against us again."

"But that doesn't solve the problem completely," I argued.

"But it does avoid a new one coming up," Yujiro replied quietly. "I don't know what it's like for some of the other summons you may have seen, but down here in the Frozen Seas, we've made our peace with nature and the cruel demands she's placed on us...I think going further by eating our predators was more us just flipping her the bird."

"And apparently, they're delicious," I replied with a frown. "You ever do this?"

"By decree of the Emperor, no," Yujiro replied with a frown. "Bad for the supply to kill children, even unborn ones…best to let them grow older so there's more to eat and store."

"Oh," I said. "So…this was your home, right?"

"The home of the Jackass Penguin, yeah," He nodded. "…that mostly means _me_ , by the way. Not my race."

"I figured," I deadpanned. "How are you handling the body?"

"Letting it stew for a few hours and add some krill seasonings," Yujiro replied with a nod and licking his beak.

 _Are you kidding?_ My expression as horrified as that thought.

"I'm kidding, stupid," Yujiro sighed. "We just went over my title, geeze. In all seriousness, we're going to round up what's left of the dead, freeze them into an ice-berg and set it adrift…give them back to the seas that gave them life."

"Okay, good," I nodded. "I mean…not that she's dead, but…you know what, just forget it."

 _Completed: The Liberation of Blackfoot Island._

 _+1200 EXP._

3595 more EXP to go.

Yujiro snorted. "You're crazy, Shimoda. But I like you, oddly. I think the Emperor would greatly appreciate it if you stuck around for the proceedings."

"I do have a time-limit," I replied with a frown. "How long would the funeral be?"

"Yeah, yeah. I get it, you're supposed to be grounded," Yujiro rolled his eyes. "Rounding up the dead and then the funeral service proper won't really take long. It should be done in an hour and forty-five minutes. Is that good enough for you, Zappy?"

I have approximately two hours and nineteen minutes of clone time remaining before he goes poof. "That leaves me more than enough time, thank you."

"Good," Yujiro nodded.

* * *

The funeral was suitably solemn, in spite of it still being day-time. The bodies were arranged on an ice platform on the shore and the Emperor froze the top into a floating mountain of ice after a long speech about the strength and goodness of those who died. Afterwards, the platform was pushed to sea. Mourners were being comforted, penguins started to head back to rebuild.

The Emperor came up to me afterwards, thanked me for my contributions to the war effort and asked me to come tomorrow. I said yes and pinged my clone, letting him know I was on my way back. Hopefully he wasn't doing anything _too_ stupid in his boredom.

 _Quest Added: Engine of War_

 _Go to the Penguin Empire at around 12am._

I arrived back at my apartment and substituted with the clone, leaving him holding the canister. The warm air felt a little strange after spending so long in the artic, but it wasn't _uncomfortable_. Apparently, my clone had decided to go to bed rather than risk doing anything stupid. And I was going to guess he was using the wait command while under the shadow of the Stealth Boy.

When he popped, the answer was that he did. Smart.

So…maximum Taijutsu, maximum seals. Water Element. Well, it was time to start making jutsu again. I dove out of bed, that being where my clone was, and jumped out of my apartments window and shunshin'd my way to training ground three.

I stood on the platform, still there from the Ill-fated Capture the Flag game. So, first things first. Super-nutritional water – _go!_

Rat, dog, horse, rat…

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 78/45._

 _Medicine Check Success: 50/50._

The check's only _45_? Huh…oh, right. I have the Water Affinity now. Reduces Skill checks. Duh.

A glob of water, crystal clear and brimming with nutritional value was held in my fingers like a marble. I chucked the water marble in my mouth and swallowed, noting that it tasted _awful_.

 _+50 hp._

Oh good, I can make blood pills. Well, I mean, that's still awesome but it's not the hundreds of points I was hoping for. It'll probably end up going higher as I make a better jutsu with a higher medicine check. Maybe I'll be able to make something that heals for a _percentage_ rather than a flat amount…that'll be amazing at the higher levels. But right now, I'll have to deal with my 50 HP on demand jutsu here, which isn't so bad…it just didn't help as much as I'd like during my sewer quest because it didn't fix crippled limbs, which I only get when I get bursted down or attacked from behind.

So…not _bad_. Better than what I had originally.

Now, let's see what happens if I mix together water and lightning…

I focused water chakra into one hand and lightning chakra in the other, brought both hands together and started mixing. See, the trick here is to get the chakra to create an entirely new entity, not just be a mixture with elements of each flowing around each-other concurrently. If all goes well, I'll have a whole new jutsu type to start working with and exploring.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/100._

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 78/50._

I got a bright green window in front of me, smiling Vault-ninja in the corner there. _You've unlocked a perk; Elemental Affinity: Storm Release!_

Nice!

The Window disappeared and I was left with a bright, blue beam connected to my hands. I tilted my head, as this wasn't _quite_ what I expected from _Storm_ release. I thought there'd be some hint of an actual storm cloud but…let's see how it preforms.

 _Master Bolt!_

The new jutsu was a reference to the Percy Jackson series, which I wasn't _necessarily_ fan of for reasons I can't recall, but _Zeus_ was already taken so I had to pick _something_.

Also, unlike Zeus, which was just a small, clearly a lightning bolt being cast, this was a bright blue, highly dangerous _laser beam_ that _disintegrated all the trees_ it hit and reduced them to _cinders_. I then created a new water jutsu that put out the fires I had just accidentally caused.

 _+600 EXP._

 _+300 EXP._

Okay, whew. That was a close one. I now have laser beams. Shame there wasn't any storm clouds, but I think this was worth the trade-off. Was I seriously disappointed about a lack of a graphical feature when the jutsu itself surpassed my expectations?

…yes. A little.

I'm such a filthy casual.

I mean, the jutsu even costs about the same as the Zeus jutsu, just more power. That's _insane_. I wonder what a storm-based _Mjolnir_ would be capable of. This is actually pretty awesome.

Also, a theory I had about using lightning jutsu to speed up my reflexes?

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 78/70._

 _Medicine Check Failure: 50/70._

It should be possible. Should. I just don't know _how_ to get around short-circuiting the brain or stopping the heart. If I started to put a lot of points into Medicine, which is a really useful skill and I should do so anyway, I would know if it's possible and how to do it. I'm not sure how useful the jutsu itself will be, but the added points into medicine would be useful regardless.

Now, for the other thing…the hit-scan pistol I wanted to see if it was possible.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 100/90._

And it is. Thankfully, writing out the seal so it releases kinetic force _is_ possible, it just has to be along something like a chakra-string rather than just 'instant' without a bridging element. Thankfully, something like a chakra laser pointer would be perfectly fine, just a small, barely noticeable line of chakra extending from the barrel would be all the pistol would need to release its payload on an unsuspecting ninja. The only problem is sensor ninjas who'd be able to _feel_ the chakra-laser pointer and get out of the way…not much of a problem if I'm fast.

The amount of a payload it brings? Well, I'm pretty sure it'd be one of my Tsunade Specials, just focused on a much tighter area…ah, the joys of being a Fuinjutsu expert. I should've buffed this _much_ sooner. The only question now is how to make my new toy?

Not the seals part, that will be simple, but the actual metal components of the gun…I might be able to lop to tip off a Kunai and hollow it out to give me the barrel I'd need. After that, the handle might be a challenge. Though getting a glue and sealant shouldn't be difficult and carving with chakra-strings should be simple. Should.

Provided that's not another thing the game has no concept of and makes me do manually.

…ugh.

Last thing to do…mass shadow clones.

Well, I technically pull techniques out of my rear anyway so it's not like they can accuse me of peaking at Konoha's Kinjutsu, can they?

So… _Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu._

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 78/75._

 _-200 HP._

I fell to the ground in the midst of a mass of smoke. My vision went blurry and my head hurt quite a bit. Ooh…what happened?

 _Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu Added._

 _Level Requirement Needed: 20._

 _Endurance Needed: 10._

Well, that explains it.

I slowly stood up and took a breath, looking at my surroundings. I took several gulps of Nutri-water (I guess that's what I'll call it) to heal the damage…yeah, the technique can kill you. No lies there. _Ow_.

 _Quest Updated: Chasing Shadows._

 _Completed: (Optional): Learn the Tajuu Kage Bunshin._

 _Optional: Teach Naruto the Tajuu Kage Bunshin before he graduates._

"Senpai, what's with the guitar?" Sakura asked with a blink.

"I'm trying to learn how to play," I replied, playing the wrong note once again. "I've learned that my bloodline doesn't cover musical instruments, so I'm getting the novel of experience of learning through practice."

We were meeting right at training ground 3 this time, I was sitting at the wooden posts, trying to strum my guitar.

"Oh, really?" She smiled. "How's it coming?"

I broke the guitar in my hand after playing a wrong note again and grumbled as I fixed it up again. "I'm sorry, what?"

"…never mind," Sakura replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Alright," I shrugged, continuing to try to play.

She sat down on her knees, quietly watching. Then Sasuke showed up, greeting us with a grunt and leaning against the post, looking down the road.

"…you bought a guitar?" That was Nichiren.

"Yup," I replied, looking at the book and practicing.

"Why?" Nichiren asked, sitting down across from Sasuke.

"I had a stressful day and wanted some music to calm me down," I replied, going through my finger placements slowly before trying to play again. "Sadly, it didn't work…my bloodline doesn't cover musical instruments."

"So…you're learning by practicing," Nichiren summed up, a smile growing on his face.

"Yup," I replied. I played the wrong note and groaned. "It's not going well."

"It just takes time," Nichiren shrugged. "I'm just happy you've clearly decided to stick with it."

I continued to play. Nichiren and Sakura talked a little bit about medical jutsu-stuff but kept it to a minimum, I presume, because they didn't want to disrupt my concentration. Nice of them. Thank you.

"Since when do you play guitar, Daisuke?" Naruto showed up, causing me to play the wrong note and destroy my guitar. Again. "Oh…heh…sorry."

"It's okay," I said, fixing it up. "To answer your question, I don't."

"Wait, but doesn't your bloodline make you an expert on everything?" Naruto asked, blinking owlishly.

"Not musical instruments," I explained for the third time. "So, I'm learning how frustrating _practice_ is."

Naruto's grin just got wider and wider. "Okay, I want to watch."

Presumably, he wants to see me break stuff more. Whatever, I can function with an audience. I think.

I continued, the song in the book still…eluding me. By a lot. Sasuke and Nichiren talked for a few seconds, I just stared at the guitar trying to make it work.

Finally, Hisako came around to the posts and _gasped_.

"What?" I asked with a frown.

"You play guitar?" She had this huge smile on her face.

"No, I'm learning how to play guitar," I replied, going back to the notes. "And failing, apparently."

"You're…learning how to play guitar," Hisako blinked. Then she put her hands on her hips. "I thought training and practice didn't work for you."

"Well, my bloodline has no concept of musical instruments," I shrugged, frowning. "So, here I am, learning how to play the hard way."

"You mean…through practice," Hisako said, starting to smile again.

"Yup."

"No instant expertise?"

"Nope."

"Really?" Hisako asked.

" _Yes_ ," I answered testily, standing up and storing away my guitar. "But since we're all here, I think we can get started with the training."

"What? No, no, no, we have time!" Hisako quickly replied, her face falling.

"No, we don't," Sasuke replied bluntly. "We're here to train, not watch Senpai fumble around a guitar."

"I agree with Sasuke," I nodded.

Hisako huffed. "Fine, but you better start practicing after we're done, okay."

"Alright," I sighed. Bringing the guitar out here was a horrible idea. "Look, can we start?"

"Sure," Hisako sighed.

We started our training in earnest. As usual, I was their sparring partner and, with 100 Taijutsu, the results were entirely unchanged. I _still_ was an unstoppable opponent who they had no chance against. Well, sometimes they got close to attacking me before but now that possibility was completely gone. None of them could so much as scratch me.

Which made them rage and be frustrated, which allowed me to get benched while Hisako and Nichiren sparred with them. After that was done, I walked everyone through some of the Hand-sign exercises I had devised…I'm _hoping_ they end up capable of inventing their own jutsu from scratch one day. I know Naruto could use it…speaking of which, I got a pair of jutsu to teach him now.

As we wrapped up our training session, I tapped Naruto on the shoulder. "Come with me for a second?"

"Sure," Naruto nodded.

"You still need to practice the guitar!" Hisako all but whined.

…I'm not getting out of that, am I? "I will, just give me a second."

"Okay good," Hisako nodded.

Naruto and I went into the trees. "So, what's up, Daisuke?"

"I got a couple jutsu to teach you," I replied. "They're…pretty awesome ones and since you're my best friend, I figured you could use them."

"Really?" Naruto's got wide.

"First ones called the Shadow Clone," I started.

"Wait, it's a clone technique?" Naruto frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," I nodded. "Trust me, you'll get more mileage out of this than I think anyone will realize."

Naruto took a breath. "Alright."

We went through the hand seals. I described how to manipulate the chakra in as basic terms I could. He tried the jutsu and failed, we tried again. Until…finally…he got it. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

A puff of smoke and Naruto was standing between three clones, each of whom started moving. Naruto celebrated about getting it to work, jumping in the air.

 _Quest Updated: Chasing Shadows._

 _Completed: Teach Naruto the Shadow Clone Jutsu before he graduates._

 _Speak with Naruto._

"Alright, now for the next one," I replied. "It's basically the same, just more chakra…"

I showed him the additional seals and he mimicked them, careful and memorizing the pattern.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" He shouted and I suddenly had the urge to cough as the whole _clearing_ went up in smoke. But the smoke quickly cleared…and I was greeted with _orange_. Naruto's as far as the eye could see, the trees lined with 11-year-olds and each of them confused…then they started cheering.

 _Completed: (Optional): Teach Naruto the Tajuu Kage Bunshin before he graduates._

I turned and saw that, yes, my team and the other members of team 7 had gotten curious, walking from behind their hiding spot with awe written all over their faces.

Naruto was looking at the army of him, utterly delighted but also _gobsmacked_.

"Congratulations, Naruto," I smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You have an army of you."

"How does he have the chakra for this?" Nichiren asked quietly.

"Who cares?" I replied with a smile. "He just does."

"I can't believe it," Naruto looked at them before he started jumping up and down and celebrating. "I did it! I did it! I've got an army of me!"

"They're also pretty good at training," I replied with a shrug. "At least that's my understanding of it."

"Oh yeah! I did it! I did it!" Naruto said, fist-pumping and celebrating.

"Naruto, did you catch what I said?" I asked with a frown.

"Yeah, they're good for training!" Naruto smiled. "That just doesn't work for you because training doesn't work for you…except for the guitar, I guess."

"Yes," I replied with a deadpan look. "That's exactly right. If anyone else tries this, they'd die. You just have a crap ton of chakra. For some reason."

"Wait, did you try this jutsu?" Naruto immediately frowned and the clearing went quiet.

…wow, I've got hundreds of pairs of eyes judging me all at once. "Yeah, but I knew it wouldn't kill me."  
"Whew," Naruto wiped his brow. "So, you're going to use it more, right?"

Oh, come on, really? "No…I knew it wouldn't kill me, but I don't have a chakra to use it."

Naruto blinked and folded his arms. Whispers were going throughout the whole clearing. "How bad was it?"

…. man, really? "Half-dead."

"Oh, come on!" Naruto shouted, sending the clearing into outrage. "That does it, since I have clones now, I'm going to have one follow you around the clock to stop you from doing stupid, suicidal things."

"Please don't," I replied, with a flat look.

"No, please do," Hisako nodded. "We _like_ him alive."

"I wasn't going to _die_ ," I whined…I'm not proud to admit it, but that's what it was. "And I healed up pretty fast anyway."

"I don't know, Senpai, using a jutsu that renders you half dead doesn't strike me as 'I knew I wasn't going to die'," Sasuke chimed in. "More like 'I'm not sure it'll kill me but I'm willing to take a gamble'."

"You're one to talk," I grumbled.

"I haven't gone to suicidal lengths for power," Sasuke still looked uncomfortable as he backed off.

"…do you have any other ideas for jutsu's that'll harm you?" Nichiren asked.

"…I had thought up a couple suicide jutsu," I replied with a frown. "Not to use, though. Just for theoretical exercises."

Nichiren face palmed.

"What? I've never actually _done_ them," I said, cursing my tendency to put my foot in my mouth. "Never going too, either."

"Never going to do a suicide technique," Sakura frowned. "You promise?"

I sighed. "Yes, I promise. I'm not suicidal, I just like power.

 _Quest Complete: Chasing Shadows._

 _+2400 EXP._

295 more EXP until level 19…hold on.

…rat, dog, dragon…

I created a ball of water that flew toward a tree and hit it with enough force to bring the tree down and the clones with it.

 _+300 EXP._

"Hey!" Naruto frowned, pointing at me…oh yeah, memories from the previous clones. Glad he's noticed that _now_. "What was that for?"

"Power spike," I answered.

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level up! Level 19.**_

Ten points into Ninjutsu, bringing it up to _80_ , Ten Points into Medicine, bringing it up to _60_ and three points into Ranged Weaponry on the off chance that my Pistol uses the skill for how good I can hit, bringing it up to _35_.

* * *

Over in the Hokage's tower, Hiruzen took a puff of smoke from his pipe as he watched events occur on his crystal ball.

"So, he _does_ know."

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Not much to say. I hope you enjoyed, though. :)  
_

 _~Fulcon_


	38. An Engine of War

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

I suppose, since I taught Naruto the Mass Shadow Clone jutsu, I shouldn't have been surprised to get summoned for a talking too with the Hokage. I was surprised because I didn't expect it to be within the hour. I was also surprised when it was a surprisingly not-tense interview.

"Don't tell anyone, keep being friends with Naruto," I summed up. "I can do that."

"Precisely," The Hokage said, pipe in his mouth. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you figured it out. I don't suppose I can ask how?"

"There were several signs – his birthday was the anniversary of the attack and rather than let him celebrate, the Matron kept Naruto inside for his own safety," I replied with a shrug. "Pretty obvious."

There were _not_ mobs of villagers trying to chase Naruto down and kill him. But there _was_ the occasional drunk Jounin, which could be scary if, in the madness inherent in all Jounin, he made Naruto a target in his misplaced grief. Which upset Naruto quite a bit, and he was still mad about missing the festivals since said festivals were stopped about four years ago.

"I see," The Hokage replied. "So, regarding your…'mastery' of seals…would you care to demonstrate?"

"Not particularly, Hokage-sama," I shrugged. "I do appreciate the books you gave me, but I do want to keep some secrets."

"I understand the need for caution," The Hokage replied. "But I do have some things that require a sealing expert to look at."

"Like what?" I asked. "Hyobe's not still stuck in his box, is he?"

"Who?" The Hokage rose an eyebrow.

"Hyobe, the Hyuuga who got stuffed in a box and was nearly smuggled into Grass," I reminded him. The victim of _The Organ Trail_.

"Oh, him. No, as I understand, he's been released," The Hokage nodded. "I was referring to something else. But I don't want to take chances with it."

"Alriiight," I said, sensing the opportunity for a quest. "What sort of demonstration?"

"Are you aware of the Flying Thunder God?" The Hokage asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I am," I replied. "Do you want me to perform it?"

" _Can_ you?" The Hokage asked.

I simply made one on the floor, slid backward, made another one and then rapidly teleported between the two.

The Hokage coughed. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised in light of your earlier exploits."

"I have that effect on people," I replied.

"I am well aware," The Hokage replied. "We'll have what we need to you to examine after your tactics training with Kakashi."

That was _not_ what I wanted to hear.

 _Quest Added: Tattoo Removal._

 _Speak with the Hokage after you've completed your tactics training._

Well, at least it's definitely a quest, then. I wonder what's the deal with the name, they want me to remove something?

"…for your information, Hokage-sama," I began. "I'm not entirely sure I can remove seals on a person without consequences to the bearer."

Why would the perk _Whitewash_ be a thing if it wasn't a certainty?

The Hokage took a long puff from his pipe. "You got a premonition, then?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," I nodded.

"Do you know who you're helping?" He asked.

"No, Hokage-sama."

"What was it called?" He asked.

"Tattoo Removal," I answered.

He barked out a short laugh and I noticed a slight wheeze to the man's breathing. "That was a surprising show of wit from an otherwise arbitrary blood line."

"I agree, Hokage-sama," I replied with a small smile.

"Dismissed," He replied with another smile.

With that, I left. Thankfully, we had all departed after the training exercise so it wasn't like they were still waiting for me, worried that I had done something wrong. So with that going forward, I made my way back to my apartment.

Since I have Lasers and my jutsu has, for all my thinking they were unwieldy, been pretty effective, my pistol's gone from 'reliable form of ranged attack' to possibly being 'obsolete prior to construction' but I'm still going to make it before I pass judgement because _EXP_. Maybe it's cheap chakra cost and difficulty in dodging instantaneous projectiles will make it worth it.

Then you add that Lightning jutsu that increases my reaction speed, another theoretically worth it but possibly inefficient jutsu, and we'll have all the makings for a brain-dead approach to combat that works _perfectly_ for my casual approach to combat.

And…I guess those tactics lessons with Kakashi will help. Sort of. But honestly, all that thinking really feels like a waste of time when I could just zoom up to them and blow their brains out with a single punch…something my new focus on jutsu has actually helped with by removing the travel time.

I moved in through the window, as normal for me. The front door took too long as usual.

Eh…let's see…that's grab that Kunai.

Kunai in hand, I sat down crisscross and got to work. I placed a seal on the ground keeping it isolated from any extra detritus, because this was going to get _messy_.

An electrical based version of my finger-knife jutsu…the one I used to get free of the trident after getting shanked in the sewers I used to slice the tip off.

 _+300 EXP._

7,445 more until level 20.

I sliced the handle off as well, leaving me with just the blade.

I'm sad that jutsu with such high EXP rewards have almost no actual combat value to me. This one was a drill, like the blade with lots of electricity. This, I used to drill into the flat surface of the kunai. I say drill, but I mean _melt_ the metal out of the center to make room for the seals inside, causing it to drip on the floor that I had put a seal on to prevent my apartment from catching fire.

 _+300 EXP._

There was a knock at the door. I let the steel I had melted out finish dripping on the carpet and whoever was at my door knocked a second time, much more insistently. I stood up, slid over to my front door and opened it up.

"I'm confused," I said, slowly nodding to make it apparent.

"Well, none of us could decide on anything to do and so we decided to come see you!" Naruto smiled, as if that explained why Nichiren, Hisako, Sakura and Sasuke had also come to my house. "Can we come in?"

I have four charisma, they're not supposed to-Nakama. Right.

"I'm kind of working on something," I replied with a frown.

"You mean the guitar?" Hisako asked with a smile.

"No, I mean a weapon," I replied.

"Oh," Hisako's face fell.

"Purely experimental, lots of seals," I explained. "Seriously, it's not something you guys want to watch, right?"

"Sure, we do!" Naruto was still grinning.

"I can't be mad at you," I sighed, face-palming. "Sure, come in. Still don't have furniture, just keep clear of the mess."

"I hope it's not too much trouble, Senpai," Sakura said as they all entered my apartment.

"It's fine," I blinked. In my old life, occasionally we'd take our shoes off when entering someone else's house. I don't _care_ , so…should I explain that? "You can leave your shoes on, I never take my boots off."

Sasuke grunted, aborting the move to kick his sandals off.

"What on earth did that poor kunai do to you?" Hisako asked, pointing at the mess.

"I said I was in the middle of something," I replied, with a frown. "You don't _have_ to be here, you know."

"No, no," Hisako quickly said. "I'm interested in what you're working on."

"Cool," I shrugged, feeling _slightly_ self-conscious with everyone here, but I re-cast the electrical drill and continued my efforts to hollow it out.

The metal dripped onto the seal, which, while not setting my thing carpet on fire, also remained hot, which is good – I needed the metal to enlarge the hilt later on in the project.

"…so what's the point of hollowing out the Kunai?" Sasuke asked, leaning against the wall.

"More surface area for seals," I replied, looking inside the Kunai to see how much was left…I didn't want to make a _hole_ in some portion of the weapon, I might not be able to fix it like I did the walls, molten metal being exponentially more chakra-intensive to fix up than shattered matter.

"So, is it going to be a sword?" Naruto asked with a grin. "A glowing, chakra-"

"No."

"Oh," Naruto's face fell.

"…I think that should be enough," I muttered to myself. I turned to the pile of molten slag and placed a seal to the side the covered the pile, deliberately keeping it warm and…liquidy. Not _sure_ how I'm going to get it to what I need it to do yet, picking up the mess and shaping it is beyond the scope of the repair jutsu.

With my hand on the blade, I made several hand signs with the other one and wrote the seal I'd need on the inside and outside of the barrel. The seal first for the chakra-pointer, going on the base of the cavity I've made. It automatically pulled in chakra from anyone touching it, broadcasting it in a beam similar to the chakra-strings but not being nearly as strong…it wasn't visible, for one. As a bonus, I was able to compress the seal until it was about the size of a dime…. that's what they were called, dimes? Dimes, I think that's what the five-cent piece was called. The really small one.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 100/80._

 _+1200 EXP_.

5,945 more until level 20.

I suppose it's that high because the seal is capable of interfacing with other seals. The ones I'm about to write, specifically. But first…let's see, it's working.

"Question, do any of you know how to sense chakra?" I asked my house-guests.

"…I do," Sakura replied, putting a hesitant hand up.

"Hold your hand right there for me?" I asked with a frown.

"Okay," She complied with a confused look.

I pointed the kunai out. "Do you feel anything?"

"A little bit," She giggled and smiled. "That tickles."

"Uh huh," I replied, putting the down. "Thank you, I know it works."

And that people will know I'm aiming at them if they can sense chakra. Good to know.

"Sure, Senpai," She said, still smiling.

"So how do you learn to sense chakra?" Nichiren asked.

"It's an awareness thing," I grumbled my replied, knowing about advanced chakra senses from an academic point of view, but unable to do it because it was locked behind a perk. _Chakra_ _Sense_ , specifically. It's a level 6 perk, one I had initially skipped over completely for more appealing picks, but now had a pair of holes I needed to fill…that can go neatly into one of them, actually.

"Senpai's right," Sakura said with a nod in my general direction. "Learning how to sense another person's chakra is mostly being aware of chakra in general. I've started working on it more after the…sewers."

"So can you do it, Daisuke?" Nichiren asked.

"Nope," I replied with a frown.

"Why not?" Naruto asked.

"My bloodline is stupid and arbitrary," Was my response as I puzzled out how to mold the molten steel before me.

"How is it stupid and arbitrary this time?" Hisako asked.

"So…okay, how many of you know about my power spikes?" I asked. "Besides Nichiren and Hisako, since I've explained it to them."

"Nope," Naruto shook his head.

"I've inferred that your bloodline occasionally gifts you a surge of power?" Sasuke asked with a frown.

Sakura shrugged.

"So, my bloodline makes me…static. Training doesn't work for me. At all. In no sense of the word," I explained. "I get better…more skilled, faster, stronger, from power spikes that occur after an arbitrary number of missions are undertaken, jutsu are invented, or kills secured."

"Training doesn't help you?" Sakura blinked and looked up in thought. "At all?"

"Nope," I replied. "Not in the traditional sense…I don't get better at Taijutsu from practice…it's part of why the guitars been so difficult to learn – _it doesn't fit the paradigm of everything else_."

"So…you think you'll ever learn to play it?" Hisako frowned.

"Oh, I've been getting better," I shrugged. "It's just _slow_."

"So you need a power spike to learn new things," Sasuke said. "Do you choose what you learn."

"To an extent, yes," I nodded. "I can increase a skill or knowledge base up by an arbitrary percentage. My lowest skill is barter at a mere ten percent."

"What's your highest?" Naruto asked.

"It's tied between Chakra Control and Taijutsu," I replied. "Which are both sitting at literal perfection."

Hisako let out a breath. Sasuke's eyes went wide and he activated his Sharingan for some reason.

"Literal perfection," Sakura raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, Senpai, but I have some difficulty believing that."

"That's fine," I shrugged. "It's just the skills – I'm still not the strongest or the fastest. That comes later."

"So what does this have to do with being unable to sense Chakra?" Naruto asked loudly.

"Every two power spikes, I get something called a 'perk'," I explained. "This perk could be increasing my resistance to physical harm, increasing the power of explosive notes to casting jutsu with one hand."

"You've gotten that one, apparently," Hisako sighed.

"Yup," I nodded. "Sorry, Hisako. I know the Taijutsu possibility bothered you."

"I…you know what, it's okay," She nodded to herself. "That just means you're the best sparring partner I can ask for."

"It's eating you alive inside, huh?" Nichiren asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

" _Nichiren_ ," Hisako grumbled dangerously.

"…do you have a maximum number of spikes?" Sasuke asked with a serious air I hadn't heard from him since he asked us to help him train. "Or do you just keep going on indefinitely."

"I'm capped at 50," I replied with a frown. "After that, all the missions and kills in the world won't get me any further. I'd need outside help to get stronger."

"You have a limit?" Hisako asked, sounding _slightly_ happier and a little depressed for some reason. "I thought you'd just keep going."

"Nope. I'm at level 19, though, so I've got 31 more to go," I explained with a shrug. "So to answer your question, I can do Chakra-Sensing until I get the perk."

"When are you going to get the perk?" Naruto asked.

"After the indestructible skeleton and maybe after the rest of the elemental affinities," I replied.

" _Indestructible skeleton_?" Naruto blinked.

"Elemental _affinities_?" Sakura's eyes got wide. "Are you saying-?"

"Yeah," I nodded, cursing my lack of judgement in what was coming out of my pie-hole. "There was a reason I didn't say anything…I have a big mouth."

Hisako groaned and got this really tired look on her face. Nichiren rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "You got any other surprises for us?"

"I'll just keep those to myself, thank you," I replied with a frown, not needing the fact that I'm a reincarnate to cause more drama.

…though it had to come out eventually.

"Oh _wow_ ," Nichiren groaned to himself.

I picked up the blade again and the handle as well. Then I started to heat the handle and bend it slightly at the ring, before getting to work fusing the ring at the end of the handle to the base of the blade…it was primarily for aesthetics - I needed something that resembled a trigger-guard for gun-twirling. Because.

"So…what's this weapon going to _do_?" Sakura asked after a moment.

"I'll show you when I'm doing building it," I replied, considering the thick pile of slag on my carpet. Another heat-insulating seal on my gloves before I started. Released the seal keeping the slag in one spot and picked it up with a _large_ assortment of chakra strings. Another seal on the handle, it having been bent around like a candy cane to get the ring where I wanted it while still acting like a proper gun handle, in order to get the metal goop to stick around it.

The slag started to form around the handle.

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/95._

 _+300 EXP_.

Like that, I invented mini-strings. Thousands of tiny little tendrils, suitable _only_ for finite manipulation like this, with no combat application that I could see. I used them to sculpt the handle, give it grooves for my finger placement…thankfully, I made sure it fit my hand.

The only thing stopping me from doing this to play the guitar properly is because then the guitar and by extension the _game_ would have _won_. I cannot let them win. _Ever_.

"It…looks good?" Hisako said with a frown, tilting her head at the construction. "I still don't get it."

"You will," I replied, getting to work on the seals inside.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 100/95._

 _+2400 EXP._

Six of them, in all, actually. By my estimation, it would take time for this particular seal to charge back up full with my chakra before it could discharge again, so I had six of them, each lining the inside of the barrel and filling it to capacity, as compact as I could get them without sacrificing some of its theoretical punch.

And, you know…I wanted a six shooter. Because revolvers are cool.

 _+300 EXP_.

2,945 more EXP to level.

Some additional seals to reinforce the weapons casing to prevent it from breaking. "Alright, I need a target."

There were some worried glances from everyone in the room that stopped immediately when I cast a Shadow Clone that just went over by the window. "I'd check the integrity seals against pressure on the inside of the barrel before initial testing."

"Oh, good point," I nodded, going over the seals. I added a couple of rings on the outside, just in case. "Alright, are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," The clone replied.

"Cool," I said, taking the pistol in my hand and aiming at him. "Death by firing squad in 3…"

"Morbid," The clone smirked forlornly.

"2…"

Sasuke was watching the pistol intently. Sakura leaned forward with interest.

"1…"

"Uhhh…" Hisako pointed a finger in the air.

"Fire."

A bright blue flash erupted right on the clone's body, setting it straight to smoke and I got the clones last memories.

 _-172 HP._

172 points of damage? Ouch. That was most likely reduced by seventy percent by the clone's own body armor. I'd have to do an unarmored test while I'm alone, no matter how much Hisako would like to see that, but…let's see, divide 172 by 0.3…573.3333…points of damage. "Wow. This thing could kill me if I wasn't wearing my armor."

"Wait, what?" Nichiren frowned, looking at it with renewed interest…or is that fear? "That thing could actually kill you?"

"By a large margin, actually!" I was grinning. My experiment worked! I had an actual weapon that _felt_ a lot better to use than the Ninjutsu I had been using…which was only until I didn't need hand signs any more. "Now I gotta figure out how to store it on my person effectively."

"Why…don't we put it aside for a bit, actually?" Hisako asked with a too-wide smile.

"Yeah, we should go for Ichiraku's!" Naruto said with an equally wide grin. "Your weapon, whatever it is, works!"

"Can we go for something _besides_ Ichiraku?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow. "We just went there yesterday."

"No!" Naruto argued hotly. "There's no place better than Ichiraku's?"

"Ichiraku's is the best ramen place in Konoha," I nodded in agreement. "But not everyone appreciates their ramen like you do, Naruto."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean!" Naruto folded his arms and gave me a death glare.

"I'm just saying that some people don't like Ramen as much as you," I replied with a nod. "…variety is the spice of life, right?"

He actually blinked at that. "…alright, I guess. We can go somewhere else. But only if we go to Ichiraku's tomorrow."

"We'll see," Nichiren replied and Naruto pouted.

I quickly stuffed my newest creation into the kunai holder inside my jacket. "Alright, uh…Sasuke, where are we going?"

"…I do know a barbecue place outside the Uchiha compound," Sasuke replied…why does he look annoyed?

"Perfect," I responded.

Everyone started to move forward, but Hisako stayed behind with me.

"…Variety is the Spice of Life?" Hisako asked with a slight smirk. "Where'd you get that, one of your books?"

Oh, right. That wasn't a local saying. Whoops. "Eh, I've heard it from people before."

* * *

 _Quest Updated: An Engine of War._

 _Completed: Go to the Penguin Empire at around 12am._

 _Speak with the Emperor._

"Shimoda, it has come to the attention of my advisors that you are technically going behind the back of your village to assist our war effort," The Emperor said, looking down at me. "They're afraid that this will jeopardize your future contributions."

"You're gonna get busted eventually, kid," Yujiro replied, only to start snickering at the baleful glare I was giving him.

"I trust this won't end our arrangement," I asked with a frown. "Emperor-sama, I fail to see how this would be a problem to you."

"Aside from a premature end to our arrangement, it's not," The Emperor replied. "Tell me, how would your Kage feel if he were to find out about what you're doing right now."

"I'm on furlough, it doesn't matter," I replied, my frown deepening.

"It clearly does, since you've been coming to assist the Empire in secret," The Emperor replied. "Do not mistake my caution for ingratitude, I do wish to continue our relationship. But we must be cautious so as to prevent your involvement from becoming endangered."

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, fearing that I wasn't going to like it.

"Your most significant contribution to our war effort has been through your bombs," The Emperor said, sending my hopes to the trash. "We would see you produce those en-masse, if possible."

"With due respect, Emperor-sama," I began, trying _really_ hard to keep my cool. "I wanted to join your effort to be on the front lines. My assistance is contingent on remaining there."

"I understand that much, Shimoda," The Emperor replied, raising an eye-muscle. "But a war cannot be won by a single person. But seeing how important it is to remain on the front lines _is_ to you, I propose a trade. You produce at least one hundred and fifty bombs today and we will allow for your assistance on the front lines in two weeks' time. Is that acceptable?"

"Is there a particular reason I cannot simply make your bombs and be on the frontlines simultaneously?" I asked with a frown. "That worked for the liberation of Blackfoot Island."

"Aside from wishing to reduce the likelihood of your being caught," The Emperor began testily. "We cannot wait for you every time we wish to make an offensive. Our enemies will catch on and begin to plan around the schedule we'd be setting and that's a terrible thing for a war."

He had me.

Why the _heck_ did the Emperor Penguin, the head of a brutal and pragmatic race, of all people, suddenly think it necessary to remove me from the front lines and make me a bomb maker?

 _Because it's pragmatic and intelligent._

I hate knowing the opponent is right.

"Alright, Emperor-sama," I gave a bow. "I agree to your terms."

"Splendid! And worry not," The Emperor said. "When it's time to assault to heart of our enemies, you _will_ be granted a position on the front lines. I swear this on an oath to you."

"…thank you, Emperor-sama," I nodded, feeling a little better.

 _Quest Updated: An Engine of War._

 _Completed: Speak with the Emperor._

 _Produce the needed bombs: 0/150._

 _(Optional): Produce Extra: 0/50._

"Yujiro!" The Emperor ordered. "Show him to the boulders we have prepared for him."

"Yes, My Lord Emperor," The Court Jester bowed, and waved me over.

I followed him through the palace then down onto the water as we orbited the Island until we came to what I believe is the _West_ shore where…wow, they did their preparations, alright.

The shore was lined with row upon row of boulders, sculpted to perfect spheres that sunk into the sand 15 rows of 10.

"Here you go," Yujiro nodded and squad 3 slid toward us around the field of boulders. "Squad 3's in charge of guarding you while you work. And don't worry if you screw up, we've got more."

"I…thanks," I nodded, sighing internally. "Okay, I'll get to work."

"Good to see you again, Shimoda!" The captain smiled wide. "Don't mind us, we're just going to be keeping a perimeter around the shore."

"Good to know," I replied.

With that, I got to work. Captain Shizo went for one route around the shore before sticking around me. The others continued their patrol around the shore.

 _Produce the needed Bombs: 15/150._

"So, I have a question," I started.

"Shoot," Shizo said.

"How many species of fish are we fighting here?" I asked. "Are we also fighting Jellyfish?"

"What's a jellyfish?" Shizo blinked. "But fair question – 'Fish Clan' is just shorthand for the Anchovy and the Herring clans that joined together into a unified body. The Smelts are also a part of it, but there aren't all that many of them left and there was another species that went completely extinct thanks to the sharks, sea lions and ourselves. It's about then that we started storing what we don't eat and trying not to overhunt."

"Okay," I nodded. "So, I don't need to worry about flying fish doing reconnaissance on our movements from the sky or anything."

"You have some weird ideas," Shizo shook his head with a chuckle. "But, no. Fish do not fly and they don't spy on us from the sky. Any other questions?"

"Yes, actually," I replied.

 _Produce the Necessary Bombs: 17/150._

"Aren't there… _non_ -sapient fish you could be eating instead?" I asked with a frown.

"What, you mean like dumb animals?" Shizo blinked. "I suppose we could, it would make smoothing things over with the Fish-clan easier at least. But there's just one problem."

"What's that?" I asked with a frown.

" _Size_ ," Shizo answered. "Both in growth and in numbers…the animal fish simply don't get big enough and there aren't enough of them to feed the Empire."

"Is it possible to _grow_ them larger?" I asked with a frown.

"I don't _think_ so," Shizo replied, rubbing under his beak with his flipper. "I wouldn't know where to start, actually. There's also the natural energy effect to consider."

"The natural _what_ effect?" I asked with a frown.

Shizo blinked. "Shimoda, can I ask _you_ a question?"

 _Produce the Necessary Bombs: 20/150._

"Sure," I replied.

"Do you know why humans _stay_ in the elemental countries in spite of the shinobi making it hazardous to live there?" Shizo asked with a frown.

"I assumed it was blind stubbornness," I replied with a shrug.

Shizo laughed. "Yeah, that explanation would work for you or me. But no. The reason is because they _can't_ live anywhere else on the globe."

I gave him a deadpan look. "Why not?"

"What do you know about Natural Energy?"

Something…something…something…something called 'Sage Mode'…something…something… "Not a lot."

"Well, here's the basic picture," Shizo started. "The Elemental countries have the least amount of Natural Energy in the world. Everywhere else, if they stick around too long, they end up turning to stone from the exposure."

"You're joking," I said. "Stone."

"Yeah. Stone," Shizo nodded. "Of course, it won't happen over the course of, like a day or a week. No…it happens over the course of decades."

"How do you know this?" I asked with a frown.

"So, there's this age-old technique that's taught to the elders of the empire," Shizo started, looking _dead_ serious. "It allows them to see things without being there. Sometimes right across the street. Other times across the whole world."

"Uh-huh," I said.

"Yeah, I know it sounds hard to believe, but it's true," Shizo said. "I'm not Yujiro – I don't yank people's chains for laughs."

"Alright," I replied, not entirely skeptical because I live in a world where people breath fire and run up walls. "So, have they found out what's the deal with this alliance?"

"Nope," Shizo shrugged. "If they could choose what they saw, we'd have found out by now."

 _This sounds a little too close to home for comfort…_ "So what does that have to do with fish sizes?"

"Oh, yeah," Shizo shook his head. "It makes animals smart…and it makes them bigger."

"So, there's no real way to make giant, animalistic, fish," I asked with a frown.

"If there is, I don't know where we'd start," Shizo shrugged. "Interesting concept though."

 _Produce the Necessary Bombs: 45/150._

"So, can I ask you a question?" Shizo asked a question.

"Sure," I answered…yeah, all the bombs had the gravity seal _and_ the explosive.

"Why are you helping us?"

"My village has suspended me from missions," I replied. It's not like he'd ever be in a position to tell anyone. "Missions are my life-blood, so I went looking for a part-time employer."

"They suspended you?" The muscles around Shizo's beak turned into a frown. "Reckless behavior?"

"You guys have that problem a lot?" I asked with a frown.

"It's endemic," Shizo nodded. "Hearkens back to the days when our ancestors would walk for miles for food. You too?"

"I think 'tactical retardation' sums up their thoughts the best," I replied. "I just like to charge in. They think it'll get me killed."

"It will," Shizo replied with a solemn nod. "Believe me, it will."

"Not you _too_ ," I whined.

"I'm _serious_ Shimoda," Shizo barked. "I've seen good men die because they charged in after a target with no regard to what's around that target."

"…sorry," I replied stiffly, still working on the bomb.

"Ah, I'm sorry too," Shizo replied. "Didn't mean to get hostile. How about this? We talk tactics for a bit while you're working?"

"Do I have a choice?" I asked drolly.

"Nope!" Shizo smiled.

"Oh, fine," I said, knowing how impossible it was to dissuade someone with _my_ tunnel vision.

"So, you see a shark swimming toward you with its mouth open. It's flanked by two of its buddies. What's the first thing you do?" Shizo replied.

"Well, I make things explode by punching them," I replied, shrugging. "So charge forward and punch it in the nose, exploding it's brain in the process."

 _-4 hp._

OW!

I rounded on the penguin who slapped me upside the head. "You slapped me!"

"I'm sorry, when I hear stupidity like that my flippers act on their own and slap the nearest offender," Shizo nodded with a raise eye-muscle. "That would chum the waters, driving the leader's squad-mates into a frenzy with _you_ in the crossfire. Stupid idea. Try again."

"Hit the leader with a lightning bolt," I replied with a frown.

" _There_ you go!" Shizo grinned. "What do you do next?"

"Hit him again since he's still alive?" I put forward.

Block the fin, lay a knife-hand across his beak, right between his eyes. " _Don't_ do that again."

 _Charisma Check Failed: 4/5._

Shut up, game.

Shizo sighed, gently pushing the hand away. "You're ignoring his friends again, which will still put you in a bad situation."

"Fine, I move backward and hit one of the other sharks with a lightning bolt," I snapped, going back to bomb making.

"See, that's not so hard," Shizo smiled. "You don't even need to move _backward_ necessarily, you could move up or down or to the side, depending on which one you're hitting."

"Fine, I guess," I frowned.

This…continued. He wouldn't let up, smacking me _every. Time._ That I offered a flippant answer without any thought. Usually, though, it was with his snowballs. No, my implied threat earlier did _not_ dissuade him from treating my… _lack_ of thought with all the force true stupidity deserved.

 _Quest Updated: An Engine of War._

 _Produce the Necessary Bombs: 150/150._

I was going to regret asking this, but… "Yujiro said you had extra?"

"Yup!" Shizo asked, having taken a break from pelting my soaked head and jacket with snowballs. "They're actually in this cave over here, if you want a crack at them."

" _Sure_ ," I said. Bonus objectives were there for a reason, as I've found out.

After what felt like an eternity of annoyance and blunt, insulting explanations…I was done.

 _Quest Updated: An Engine of War._

 _(Optional): Produce Extra. 50/50._

 _Speak with Yujiro._

"You dive upward, hit him with a lightning bolt then slide to one side after you land so he doesn't chomp on you for staying still for too long," I answered.

Shizo nodded and tossed away the snow ball he had been holding in his hand. "That works."

I blinked. "I…that's all you got to say?"

"Yeah," Shizo nodded. "That's a pretty good first move."

 _Thank goodness._

"…so, wear's Yujiro?" I asked. "I need to let him know I'm done."

"Probably…oh, I think he should be checking in on us soon," Shizo replied, looking at the sky.

We left the cave, my eyes not even bothered by the extra light by the sun…was it always daytime? Well, I guess if this is at the poles, then it'll be _months_ before night-time.

Yujiro was waddling around the spheres, painted black with the seals I had placed on them. "So, looks like you've got a lot done. You get the extras too?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Hoho! Nice!" Yujiro was grinning so wide I thought his beak would split down the middle and he was rubbing his flippers together. "This'll help us cripple the shark's offensive. The extras can go toward some choice targets I've been wanting to see explode for a _long_ time.

"Assuming we don't need the spares, Jester," Shizo replied with a grin of his own. "You're right. Table Scrap Cove?"

"Table Scrap Cove," Yujiro nodded.

"Table Scrap Cove?" I asked with a frown.

"It's where they dispose of penguin bones after they're finished eating," Shizo replied with a…decidedly angry look. " _Specifically,_ so we can't get them their rites."

"Well, I wish you guys luck," I nodded, hurriedly drying myself off before I left. "Anything else you need?"

"Nope!" Yujiro waved goodbye in an overly excited manner. "See you in two weeks!"

 _Quest Complete: An Engine of War:_

 _+300 EXP._

 _Quest Added: Hail to the Emperor._

 _Go to the Penguin Empire in Two weeks around 12am._

That is an absolutely _pitiful_ amount of EXP for the Penguins.

* * *

 _Authors Notes: Again, not much to say about this chapter. Daisuke perfects a weapon he never actually uses because he's beyond the point where it might actually be useful.  
_

 _~Fulcon_


	39. A Council of Friends

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _Finally_.

It took a week and a half. A week and a half of endless drills, practice and breaking my guitar, but _I. Can. Play!_

Well, I can play one song, but it's a song that I haven't been able to forget whatever reason. It makes me feel good. Like I brought a piece of home to this screwed up world with even more screwed up rules for me to follow. I feel _great._

As a result of being able to play the song, I…went ahead and made some alterations to the apartment. Specifically, musical additions.

 _+300 EXP._

A seal that acted as a stereo, giving me a _sweet_ bass and drums and another seal, this one on the guitar, that made it an _electric_ guitar for those amazing solos.

 _+300 EXP._

And finally, a seal that kept all the sound within the confines of the apartment because, and I was proud of myself for thinking about this, there was no chance _any_ of my neighbors would appreciate my righteous, metal _rock._

 _+150_ EXP.

This whole thing just makes me _happy._ I can do something, through _legitimate_ hard work, dedication, tears (no, I'm not proud of it) and perseverance! And it's a song...or a variation on a song, that I've loved since I was a teenager the first time around!

To top it off, I only have 1,895 more EXP until I level up to _20_ , bringing with it the Adamantium Skeleton perk and a level of tankiness the setting really isn't ready for. Speaking of things that the setting isn't ready for, my pistol was mounted on my wall while I…still deliberated over what to do with it.

See, here's the thing. In order to use it _properly_ , I'd need to put points into Ranged Weaponry. Like, a lot. If I want it to be as reliable as my fists (that is to say, totally,) I'd need to raise it to at _least_ 80\. It's at 35 right now, coming to a total of 45 skill points, being just shy of _two levels worth_ of skill points.

The problem is that raising Ranged Weaponry _now_ means raising my Ninjutsu _later_. Ninjutsu, unlike Ranged Weapons, is a source of EXP. Just inventing new tools to cause murder and death with ninja magic that I mostly don't use because it easier to punch people. At 100 Ninjutsu, which was only _one level away_ , I'd have no limits. As far as I can tell, casting jutsu of opposing elements only had a chakra and skill penalty, both of which are rendered moot by my 9 END and the 100 Ninjutsu.

And since I can see, with a quest named 'Hail to the Emperor', that the Penguin's 1 versus 3 war is about to come to an end. Which may or may not end up with me getting a summoning contract, but more importantly, it's an end to the flow of EXP. Which means that'll be the last until the mission ban is done. The mission ban was put in place because I went off, deliberately, on my own and I guess because Kakashi knows me, knew I wasn't trying to rendezvous with the group. Having a ranged weapon would minimize the kill-stealing odds to absolute minimum, help keep my team safe from a range with enough precision to avoid friendly fire. But the jutsu offer the same benefit, if not taking a bit longer and an additional chance for friendly fire which is _unacceptable._ That, and figuring out the _exact_ jutsu for the _exact_ situation you're in is harder than it looks.

So, the question is this – an easy to implement and reliable weapon to make other quests less risky or a continuous source of new weapons which I don't always understand how to implement properly. It all depends on which one I want to max first since I'm going to get both of them – it'd be one level to raise Ninjutsu from 80 (without bonus) and then stack into Ranged Weapons over levels 21 and 22. Then level 23, if I feel like maxing it immediately.

As I pondered my progression path, I strummed the guitar, moving from string to string, note to note, each dulcet tone bringing a smile to my face.

...you know, if I end up wondering if I did the right thing by joining a war I had no stakes in to kill as many things as possible and maybe get a contract out of it for years to come, I'm going to be upset. The war was just going to go on anyway, the only thing I did was pick a different victor _and_ I stopped the genocide of a species, paving the way to an alternate solution with, hopefully, less sapient death.

Besides, traditional morality applies _even less_ there than it does here _and_ I'm trying to fix an actual disability that I have so I can actually understand people…and maybe see them as people.

What, no. I see people as people. Besides, it's not like I _knew_ the Rookie 9 was going to be forced downwards towards the behemoth for whatever reason. I thought _reason_ and _logic_ still prevailed down there and they'd find a way up. They honestly weren't that far from the surface, I don't understand why they couldn't find _something_ going upward.

That's not _my_ fault.

It really isn't. It's the games fault, just like everything else that's wrong with my life. And a lot of what's good with my life, like surviving an explosion, being impaled and dragged through sewer water and…I'm trying to be mad, here!

...I'm just going to keep jamming. Just keep jamming.

Honestly, I'm just scared. Scared I'm never going to reach level 30. Charisma boosts have been _banned_ for whatever freaking reason. I had a mission ban which was meant to stop me from gaining levels until I fought quote-unquote _smarter_ , which was just code for 'will of fire, go get sensei for difficult fights and give up EXP', also known as teamwork.

So, it makes sense to me that I rejected some…a lot...of what he had to say out of hand. It went directly against my self-interest. I've already spent almost 12 years without any levels, and I was patient then, but then the levels started and _they do not stop for any reason._ _Ever!_

…ever…

I'm just working myself up over this. Come on, what comes will come. I do technically have a whole life ahead of me and I've gained almost fifteen levels over the course of five months. At this rate, I'll be level 30 before the canon exams.

Unless they stop me. Or the game ends because I wasn't strong enough.

…I need to think of something else.

Naruto told me the Academy re-opens today. After my tactics training, I want to be there when he and the rest of Team 7 get out. And possibly the rest of the Rookie 9, provided they aren't surrounded by guards the moment they step out of the gates. I mean, the last time I actually had a little bit of fun. You know, a little. It was fun watching them play off each other like the unpredictable little munchkins they were.

* * *

"Sensei," I gave a nod to Kakashi, who I hadn't seen since the second party the Akimichi threw. "How've you been?"

"I've been alright, Daisuke-kun," Kakashi gave me an eye-smile. "You?"

"Okay, I guess," I shrugged.

Nichiren and Hisako were also on their way, since this was technically a joint team effort to improve our cohesion. Well, to improve Hisako and Nichiren's cohesion and try to stick me in there with super glue and scotch tape. Neither of them had shown up yet and I was surprised to see Sensei here so early…maybe he was making sure I'd actually come.

"So, Sensei, I'll be up front with you," I started. "I've really come to resent the direction you went with our tactics lessons."

Kakashi sighed. "And why might that be, Daisuke-kun?"

"I asked you to teach me how to fight smart because I nearly ended up a stain on the ground," I replied. "Rather than tell me how to plan around my opponent, which is what I wanted, you've been trying to tell me how to plan with my team, which goes against my self-interest."

"How?" Kakashi asked, his one eye blinking. "You wanted to know how to plan better, and working with your team is planning 101."

"Working with my team involves me giving up _kills_ ," I explained with a frown. "That makes it take longer to get to where I need to be to understand people."

Kakashi took a breath. "I see. I confess I hadn't thought about it from that angle, I was thinking in terms of 'most efficient way to stay alive'…we'll probably get into the nitty gritty of planning solo engagements at some point, but you _need_ to learn how to work with your team."

"That's not good enough Sensei," I snapped, then I took a step back. "I apologize, I don't mean any disrespect, but I doubt I'll be satisfied until I've hit that mark."

"You have a goal," Kakashi nodded. "I respect that. Really, I do. But pursuing that goal at any cost is a bad idea, because you could easily die along the way. The point of teaching you tactics, and how to work with your team, is to help you actually get there _without_ dying."

"That's just it, though," I continued. "How can you expect me to work with my team if I can barely understand them as people?"

"Well, by getting experience in working with them," Kakashi replied. "You don't need to get better at understanding them to come up with a plan with them…That does work, right?"

"I _think_ so," I answered with a frown. "My bloodline is really arbitrary about…almost everything, actually."

"I know," Kakashi sighed. "Believe me, I know. And I'm sorry, but you can overcome this. If Rock Lee can overcome his lack of Ninjutsu and become a skilled Genin, then you can overcome your inability to understand people and become a skilled tactician."

"I don't think they're the same thing," I frowned and folded my arms.

"I think the principles the same," Kakashi replied. "If they weren't, you wouldn't have emerged from the sewers in better condition than when you fought Mori."

The boss from the Organ Trail. Right. "Right…okay."

"We just want you stick with the team so we can function as a cohesive unit," Kakashi continued. "Failing that, we want you to make it easy to reunite with your team."

"I'm not apologizing for the sewers," I glared, folding my arms. "That was my first escape from my social problems in a _long_ time. I built myself to do _exactly_ what I did that day."

"You… _built_ yourself," Kakashi sighed, rubbing his eye. "You know, I had a question about that, actually. You mentioned that you decided how you grow with each power spike, right?"

"Right," I nodded.

"So…was there a point, somewhere in the beginning, where you decided your initial capabilities?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "I took all the points from my social capabilities and allocated them toward...well, bluntly, Luck."

"…you… _made yourself_ this socially inept?" Kakashi's eye boggled. " _Why_?"

"I didn't think it would be that important," I shrugged, my frown deepening. "Believe me, I've regretted that decision every day of my life since I got here. But it's not like I was talking to anyone anyway, what with being barely able to move and completely unable to speak."

"You were cognizant as an infant?" It only barely sounded like a question.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "What about it?"

He was quiet for a moment. "…do you remember the Kyuubi attack?"

"Yeah," I replied, growing increasingly upset. "Attempted suicide isn't easy to forget."

I think sensei _tried_ to say something. He really did, even if I could only barely see hints of his mouth through his mask, but no sound came out.

"Before you ask, yes, I know exactly where it is and no, I don't care," I quickly inputted, actually kind of happy that I was picking up that he was concerned about Naruto. "And the Hokage's already given me the run-down."

"That's…certainly a good thing," Kakashi gave a shallow nod. "But, ummm…Luck?"

"I automatically win at Casinos," I replied. "The odds are always in my favor when I got gambling. Especially blackjack."

I was so happy when I learned that Blackjack was a thing in the Elemental Nations.

"…so, you are in no danger of losing funds," Kakashi blinked. "I can see why you wanted to head over to the casinos during our C-rank. But that can't be the only benefit."

"I have a one in ten chance to land a guaranteed hit for extra damage," I explained. "In addition, I made friends with Naruto and by extension the Hokage, got one of the most valuable Sensei's Konoha has to offer, earned a pair of amazing teammates, a potential mate in Hisako despite looking and acting like a gargoyle and ended up earning the gratitude of every clan in Konoha. Twice over, in the case of the Hyuuga. In all the madness that we've been through, I've never _lost_ my teammates and they've only gotten more capable. _I am the single luckiest person in the Land of Fire, Sensei._ "

"…I had wondered how you…" Kakashi shook his head. "Then why are you afraid you won't make it to the social boost that you talked about?"

How…Nakama. It has to be. "Because. It's been such a menace over my life that I want it gone. I want it gone _yesterday_. I don't understand my teammates and because of that, I don't fully trust them because I don't know how they'll react. I don't know how _you'll_ react. That's why I'm so stingy with the details of how realty decides to screw me over, I don't know if it'll make it worse or better."

"Daisuke," Kakashi put a hand on my shoulder. "You'll make it there. We _want_ you to make it there. It might take longer than you'd like, but you _will_ make it there. And if I have anything to say about it, you'll get there without getting anymore crippling injuries and your teammates will improve right along with you."

"They've _been_ improving," I grumbled. "They aren't perfect, though."

"You can't expect them to be," Kakashi sighed. "I know perfection in a skill can be a reality for you, but it can't be for anyone else. The best they can go for is 'good enough'."

"That's scary," I muttered. "How do you ever know they'll be good enough, then?"

"You trust them," Kakashi replied. "And you help them when they fall short."

He wanted to add something, I think. But he didn't. I don't know why he didn't say everything he wanted too, but he didn't. I sighed. "You have a point, sensei."

I almost wonder if I should tell him about the Penguins.

Naaaah.

* * *

The academy was swarming with security, like I expected. Jounin were everywhere. Clan members of all types were stations on the roofs in a perimeter around the academy and parents were waiting at the gate.

Speaking of parents.

"Shimoda-kun," Hiashi Hyuuga gave me a polite nod. "Nakamura-kun, Yamada-chan. A pleasure to see you."

"Hyuuga-san," I gave a polite bow. "…good to see you, too."

Nichiren and Hisako, who both came with me for some reason or another, gave bows in turn as well, uttering their greetings.

Pretty soon after that, I ended up…not _swarmed_ , since it was too dignified, but _crowded_ by clan heads as they all said hi. Even Nara Shikaku and the Inuzuka clan head whose name I've never learned got in. I think they all understood that I didn't know how to function beyond saying 'hi' back and failing at small talk because they soon went on to talking with each other.

I didn't _offend_ anyone, thank goodness. I just didn't understand why they backed off. I thought political manipulation was part and parcel with affiliating with the clans. Not something I ever want to get involved with, but it'll happen eventually. Preferably after I'm married and I don't have to worry about marriage proposals from people only interested in getting my political capital.

A capital which is _depressingly high_ , but I digress.

Pretty soon, the school bell rung and students were escorted out in organized lines. I was pleasantly surprised to see Iruka up and about as he guided the students out. As they approached the gates, Naruto broke formation, rushing toward me with this _giant_ smile on his face. "Daisuke! Hisako! Nichiren! You guys came!"

"Well, it was your first day back, and we wanted to make sure you were alright," I smiled back at him. "Everything go okay?"

"Amazingly!" Naruto replied cheerfully, his smile somehow getting bigger. I was almost afraid he was going to split his lips open. "Everything was _way_ easier! Those shadow clones really cut down on my study time, too!"

"Good to hear it," I replied with a smile. Seeing Naruto take advantage of the Shadow-Clones this early made me _really_ happy.

"Nice work," Nichiren had really taken a liking to my friend, something I was worried about when I realized that he had parents that might not like him. It did take me several months of being on a team with Nichiren to figure it out, but I did figure it out!

"So, do you think Sasuke and Sakura might be up for training later?" Hisako, similarly, had taken a liking to the whole team and took this training part seriously. I also noticed she was getting better with each training session, so that might have something to do with it.

"Yes," Sasuke walked up to us. "I've gotten a lot stronger since we've started and I see no reason to stop now."

"So, we are meeting today, then?" Sakura showed up, smiling. "My Taijutsu's gotten _good_ since we've started."

"I guess we are," I nodded. Then I turned to my team. "Right?"

"Right," Nichiren nodded.

"Oh yeah, it'd be great," Hisako nodded with a smile. "Training with you three has a lot of fun, actually."

"Thank you, Senpai!" Sakura grinned wide, with her eyes closed and hands clasped in front of her.

It was then that I became aware of a new figure having walked up to us. It was Ino, dressed in her normal purples and looking fairly healthy. Her father was right behind her, regarding me…cautiously? "So…I heard today that you've been training together for the past couple of weeks."

"Yup!" Naruto nodded with his hands behind his head. "We're going to be amazing shinobi!"

"That's awesome!" Ino smiled at Naruto. Since when is that a thing? "So, I had wanted to join in, but I'd been…busy, for the past couple of weeks. But my schedule's freed up, so…can I join?"

"I don't have a problem with it," I replied. "You guys?"

"Nope," Nichiren nodded.

"…I guess it'd be okay," Hisako replied after a brief pause.

"Hey, can Shikamaru and I come too?" Chouji came up, bag of chips in hand.

"…do I have too?" Shikamaru groaned.

" _Yes_ ," Ino affirmed harshly.

"Uh-ummm," Hinata was pushing her fingers together. "Can I…can I come too?"

"Sure," I said to all of them.

"Me too, right?" Kiba had Akamaru on his head, who looked healthy and barked happily.

Don't these people have something else to do with their time?

"I would appreciate the chance to come as well," Shino, with his Dad behind him, said. "Why? Because study groups are usually very productive."

"Sure," I said, resisting the urge to pull my hair out and find the nearest escape. "You guys can all come, we're going to training ground 3."

What just happened? I don't understand what just happened. I hope our group swelling to a large size like this is a one-time event.

Their parents were all okay with it too, so I guess they _don't_ have anything better to do with their time. What, was two weeks enough time to get all the training they wanted crammed into them? Is there something else going on?

I don't know.

Darn clan politics.

The…entourage, and by that I mean _mob_ of people that proceeded to training ground three. When we got there, the parents, _mercifully_ wandered off in the distance to let the kids and I hang out.

…I may have the brain of a twelve-year-old but I'm not a kid.

 _I'm not!_

I kind of am. I mean, what's the difference between a kid and adult besides brains in certain stages of development? Experience, that's what!

…and I have a partially forgotten lifetime of experience that's otherwise irrelevant here. Does it still count? I think it does! You know…if you're generous.

"So…since you're all new here, perhaps we should explain how this goes," I turned to them with my hands behind my back. "Naruto, explain how this goes."

"Okay!" Naruto grinned. "So, we start by showing each other things that we've been working on and asking for feedback."

"Showing what you've been working on?" Ino rose an eyebrow and frowned. "You mean like techniques?"

"If you've been working on super-secret clan techniques, you don't need to show us," Nichiren answered with a shrug. "Just say so. Sasuke's got a couple he hasn't showed us because of their sensitive nature."

Sasuke simply shrugged from his seat on a rock.

"What about Daisuke-senpai?" Ino asked with a frown.

"I don't care," I shrugged. "I make a bunch of new ones every few weeks or so."

"The idea of 'secret jutsu' is kind of ridiculous because all he needs to do is think kind of hard and he figures out how to do it," Hisako nodded with a flat look on her face. "He does it with seals, too."

"I wouldn't say I need to think _hard_ ," I debated. The game kind of takes care of that little thing for me, actually, for the most part.

...you know, that means that the game has more or less taken over my thinking for a large part of my life. That's _depressing_. Horribly, horribly, depressing.

"Well, you do need to _think_ , right?" Hisako asked.

"Kind of," I replied with a shrug.

"So, what _kind_ of jutsu have you made?" Ino asked with an eager look on her face. "Show us!"

"Ah-ah," I shook my finger. "I'm not particularly interested in showing off, this is about helping us all get stronger."

"Yes Senpai," Ino bowed her head in shame.

The class might've gotten bigger, but I'm determined to _learn_ something, darn it!

"Good, now…Naruto, if _you_ don't mind showing off," I asked him.

"You know it!" Naruto was smiling wide again. "So, I took that jutsu you showed me last week and managed to get it down to one hand-sign."

I blinked. "Let's see."

He put his fingers into some sort of _cross_. "Mass Shadow-clone jutsu!"

Oh _right_ , back in the Anime he never used traditional hand-signs. I'm _amazed_ he figured that out, though. I'd put it up to luck, but it's not _me_ that figured it out so…Naruto's just super intuitive. Or he's been spamming it and taking what I've been saying about hand signs and…you know what, forget it. That's just impressive.

"Well, I'm impressed," I nodded.

Well, our _guests_ , old and young were gawking at the sheer number of Naruto's that had taken up residence in the training yard. This made me feel good.

"Naruto…you mind getting rid of the army?" Hisako asked with a smirk. "You're freaking out the guests."

"Awwww…" Naruto pouted in _loud_ stereo. "Okaaay."

The training ground was filled with smoke again and then it was just Naruto.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"Well, my Taijutsu's been getting pretty good!" Naruto smiled. "I can't wait to show you!"

After that, Sakura showed us some of the progress she's been making on the Chakra Strings and Sasuke declined to show us the jutsu he's been working on. Fair enough. Then we extended the invitation to show off to the clan heirs and they _all declined_. Well, that makes sense. It's a little annoying though.

Then Hisako showed us a Genjutsu that basically super-imposed a Genjutsu of the area around us with only one change – Hisako wasn't there. Everything else was fine, but if you wander into this area, you'd never know she was there if you didn't have the Byakugan or the Sharingan. Thus, she had plenty of time to go Homicidal.

Nichiren's been working on medical jutsu, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to show off, apologizing. I _would_ have taken my gloves off and sliced through my palm, but with the allegations that I'm suicidal floating around, I decided against it.

Then it was my turn. "Alright…after this, we'd normally break up into spars. By that, I mean everyone would take turns trying to beat me in Taijutsu, but since there's a _lot_ of us today, we might not have time."

"Come on, just show us the jutsu, Senpai!" Kiba asked and suddenly the whole crowd looked _really_ enthusiastic.

"Alright, alright," I grumbled.

"Daisuke, there's nothing wrong with showing off a little," Naruto chided, still smiling. "Seriously, give us something awesome."

"Well, if you say so," I replied. "Uh…okay, so I've hit a conundrum, actually."

I reached into my jacket and pulled out my pistol. My reason for bringing it was because I wanted some…second opinions on how I should use it. After all, the last time I got into a conversation with everyone, actually, I got the idea for summons and clones, which gave good precedent. Hisako let out an irritated sigh. Nichiren eyed it warily.

"What did you do to that kunai?" Ino tilted her head.

It was a mangled piece, if I were honest. I had taken off the handle then fused it back on, higher up to go over the ring I had replaced to be a trigger guard. The ring itself was small enough for one finger to fit inside, primarily used to tie explosive notes but Hisako did kunai-twirling tricks when she was bored on missions. The weapon didn't look…good. But I could work on that later.

"I made it into a weapon," I replied. "I mean, it was already a weapon, I just changed its functionality."

I grabbed it and let loose a shot into a nearby tree, watching with satisfaction as the instantaneous bright blue flash pierced a hole right through the center, about the circumference of an eight ball that got smaller the further you went in. "This thing's powerful. Not as powerful as some of the jutsu I make on a regular basis, but it's also really reliable and simple to use."

"Before you ask, no you can't use it," I continued, interrupting Kiba, Chouji and _Sakura_ of all people. "Sorry, I just built the thing not too long ago, I don't want it getting accidentally broken."

There were sighs of disappointment around.

"Before I let you all at it, let me explain some stuff about my bloodline," I said, noting how everyone started adjusting to pay closer attention. "I don't get better at skills by training. I get better with power spikes my bloodline hands me after an arbitrary number of accomplishments, like number of missions completed."

"Why's that?" Chouji asked, Shikamaru lying beside him watching the clouds.

"I don't know, it's just arbitrary," I replied with a shrug. "I call them level ups and I try not to think about it too much. But here's the thing, because I don't get better like everyone else, I need to be judicious about how I use my power spikes and I'm not always the best at this. So, my options are this – I can get as good as I can possibly can be with Ninjutsu next power spike. Put it up there with my Taijutsu, Chakra Control, Fuinjutsu, etc. Or I can work on my aim, and get it to a _fairly_ reliable level and it would synergize _really_ well with my current fighting style. As opposed to Ninjutsu, where I rarely find one or two that _fit_ and usually don't see much use beyond when I first invent it. So, should I focus on improving Ranged Weaponry, Ninjutsu, or some split between the two?"

Honestly, if I don't like the conclusion drawn, I'll probably ignore it. But since I got some great ideas out of the group _by accident_ last time, I kind of wanted to see what I could get out of them on purpose this time."

"Is the increase numerical?" Shikamaru asked, sitting up with a focused look on his face.

"Yup," I nodded.

"How are the numbers handled?" He asked with a frown.

…I like you. "It's a percentage. Each point in a skill brings me one percent closer to mastery."

"How many points do you get per level?" Shikamaru asked with a focused look.

"Twenty-three," I replied.

"And the current levels?"

"Ninjutsu is at 80 percent and my aim is 35 percent," I nodded. My teammates already knew about my bloodline and they were still my friends, and everyone present already knew something bizarre was going on with me, so…I didn't feel the need to be overly secure.

"You're just _telling_ them this?" Hisako asked, alarmed.

"Well, yeah," I said. "You found out and you're still my friend so…I thought maybe I should be more open. About _some_ things."

"…alright then," Hisako frowned, looking back at everyone.

"So, is it _just_ missions that get you these level ups or are there other things?" Shikamaru asked with steepled fingers.

"There's…making jutsu and getting kills," I replied with a shrug. "Not a lot."

"I'd just max out Ninjutsu and make more jutsu until you get enough power spikes to max out your aim," Shikamaru nodded. "Unless there's a reason you haven't been able to do so?"

"I run out of ideas," I cracked my knuckles. "I can't invent the same jutsu twice and if there's too many similarities, it doesn't count."

Requires enough original thought to prevent spamming, not enough to be interesting. Truly, this system was designed well. And by well, I mean it was designed to be frustrating.

"What's the point of having a weapon you can't use well?" Kiba asked with a raised eyebrow. "If you're not confidant in how you use your jutsu in combat, I think you should work on getting better with your weapon."

"Because if he improves his Ninjutsu, it widens the number of jutsu he can create," Shikamaru said. "Since he can't create copies with slight deviations, that makes the higher skill-pool even more important."

"Yeah, but that doesn't help Senpai _now_ ," Kiba replied with a frown. "If he gets into a fight, like if the academy gets attacked again, then his ability to defend it is less than if he improved something he could use well."

"I agree with Shikamaru," Ino said with a nod. "Senpai, you should improve your ability to use Ninjutsu to make even _more_ incredible jutsu."

"Quick question, I heard that the academy was going to implement my flash-light jutsu in its curriculum," I asked. "How many of you know it?"

Some, like Ino, Sakura, Chouji, Naruto and Kiba, all performed the jutsu right there. Others, like Shikamaru and Shino, merely raised their hands. Sasuke gave a lazy wave of his hand.

"Okay, just checking," I nodded. "Please continue."

I'm making waves all over the place. Geeze.

"Personally, I think if you can easily implement something into your fighting style, you should work that in as fast as possible," Shino said, pushing his glasses back onto his face. "Why? His personal style of rushing in and making the enemy explode clearly means Senpai has very little time for strategy. If improving his ability to use the weapon allows him to continue this line of fighting with less risk, it should be improved."

"Hey, what do you mean 'he has no time for strategy'?" Naruto asked grumpily.

"He means that instead of attempting to anticipate my opponents move and plan around it, I prefer to move in and punch them in the face," I replied. "And it's true, I like to keep my fights as short as possible and planning around enemies is…difficult, at best."

"Oh," Naruto said. "In that case, I agree with Shino."

I tilted my head. That was _not_ what I expected out of Naruto. "Why?"

"Understanding your opponent is a part of strategy," Naruto shrugged. "You suck at understanding people, so you have trouble with strategy. I mean, I still think you can learn it, but it'd be harder for you. If the weapon makes it safer to do what you're already doing, I say go ahead."

I blinked. Huh, that…made sense, I guess. I mean, I guess it explains why Captain Shizo got through where Kakashi-sensei didn't. Kakashi wanted me to work with my team. Shizo's school of thought is _minimize risk to myself…_ which coincidentally may involve working with a team, now that I think about it…

"Now hold on," Hisako put her hands on her hips. "The weapons…powerful, no one's denying that, but I think learning how to use Jutsu in a fight would be more worth his time."

" _And_ it's kind of weird how he spends all of his time making jutsu he never uses," Ino chimed in, folding her arms and nodding in a sage-like manner. "Seriously, jutsu are way more flexible than a weapon you simply point to use, I'd think it'd be easier to use them."

"Hand signs take more time than I'd like," I admitted. It was true, too. One Handed Jutsu made it easier by letting me charge in and around, punching things while making jutsu at the same time. I just _really_ like keeping myself fluid with the battle.

"That's really impatient, Senpai," Ino frowned, putting her hands on her hips and leaning forward. "Your ability to make jutsu is awesome, you should learn patience so you can use it better!"

"But patience is hard," I offered lamely. "Especially since killing the enemy fast reduces his ability to use strategy."

"Yeah, but what happens if you're not fast enough to kill them?" Ino asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I…use a…Jutsu," I then quickly grabbed the weapon and held it up. "Or this! This would help, too!"

"I guess it would but jutsu offer more versatility," Ino argued back. "And like Shikamaru said, it'd let you get better aim anyway if you _really_ need it."

"But if you have a trouble actually using something in a fight, maybe you should try something else," Nichiren piped up. "I mean, I don't really like the weapon but if it stops you from being blown to bits, Daisuke, I think you should get better _now_ as opposed to later."

"Um…Senpai?" Hinata asked. "Do you have any other skills you could improve?"

"…there's medical knowledge," I offered after a second, remembering the hypothetical reflex and speed increasing jutsu that required a mere ten points more to get.

"Of course there is," Nichiren rubbed his eyes.

"How high is the medical skill?" Shikamaru asked.

"Sixty percent," I replied.

"Well then, if you want _my_ recommendation, I'd boost Ninjutsu and Medical skills by ten points each and use the spare three points to improve your aim if you _really_ think you need that weapon," Shikamaru offered. "Increase your ability to keep yourself alive, increase the number of jutsu you can make and improve your aim ever so slightly until you the other skills are complete."

"Ooh, that's a good point," Hisako nodded. "He's got a good point, Daisuke. Keep yourself alive _and_ make more jutsu."

"Eh, I think you should go with what you want, since you're attached to that weapon," Kiba offered, Akamaru barking happily from his lap. "But I do think you should increase your medical skill, though. You might've even been able to fix your chest up before we found you."

"Eh," I waved it off. "I slept it off anyway, it didn't matter."

"How long were you down in the sewers coughing up blood?" Sakura asked with a frown.

"Honestly, coughing up blood wasn't _that_ bad," I said with a nonchalant shrug. "Just pretty painful and left me open to some attack…you know what, forget it."

"Good," Nichiren looked _upset_ now.

"If I may, Senpai," Sasuke started. "With your percentage in your aim at 35 percent, is it _unusable_ or would you just like better aim?"

"It's not _unusable_ ," I answered. "It's actually at…I dunno, C-rank equivalent? I'd just like it to be around 80…or I guess around A-rank equivalent. I like reliable."

"C-rank is around Chunin, yeah? I'd say that's still pretty good, Senpai," Sasuke said. "You're not too far from completing Ninjutsu, so I'd do that, then split points between medical skills and your aim and bring them concurrently if you _really_ feel you need the weapon with full Ninjutsu."

"So, when you say 'completed' or 'full' Ninjutsu, what does that _mean_ , exactly?" Chouji asked, taking another bite of chips.

"Perfection," I replied with a frown. "First skill I completed was Chakra Control, then after that went on to increase Taijutsu to 80 and left it there until recently."

"You're joking," Chouji said.

"I beat the rookie of the year, a Hyuuga, currently being taught by the greatest Taijutsu master in the village, without getting touched," I told him flatly.

"Okay, you're _not_ joking," Chouji blinked.

"That's _incredible_ ," Ino breathed out.

The discussion went on for a while, I listened to each point as it was made. Sides were switched. Opinions got heated. Then I stood up. "Alright, I think I've made my decision. Gimme a second to make some jutsu."

"Ooh!" Ino said, sitting down to watch.

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 88/80._

This was an Earth release. I don't usually make too many of these since the skill and chakra penalty make them impossible to actually make, but it's at 88, so this one was in my ability. Six large, earthen spikes erupted from the ground in a circle and then rushed together to slam into each other, creating a single, stone pillar.

I'll call that _Stone Henge_.

 _+300 EXP._

Let's make a Storm Release…this one sending a beam straight up into the air and then slamming into the stone, shattering it into a million pieces and leaving a hole in the center. I'll call that one _Wrath of Olympus._

 _Ninjutsu Check Release: 88/85._

 _+1200 EXP._

Cheers from behind me as they watched the fireworks. I always liked fireworks, actually. In fact, that gives me another _idea_ for a jutsu. This one's a fire jutsu, but one that should end up with dozens of pretty colors.

 _Fireworks._

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 88/65._

It was a fire jutsu. Technically. But my firecrackers shot up into the sky with a whistle and exploded into a green and red symbol for Konoha…the Will of Fire was strong in the sky.

 _+600 EXP._

More cheers. All at the same time, I send more fireworks for the symbols of each clan, figuring that they _might_ enjoy it.

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level up!**_

 _ **Level 20.**_

I'm two-thirds of the way to level 30. It almost brings a tear to my eyes actually. So the perk is _Adamantium Skeleton_ , obviously. For the skills…well, Shikamaru did have a point in that more jutsu is more EXP and that's a concern since that brings me closer to level 30. So, 12 points into Ninjutsu, bringing it to 92 without bonuses but 100 with, and put 10 points into Medicine, bringing it up to 70, since it's both the reflex enhancement jutsu _and_ it'll let me figure out what I need to do to un-cripple limbs. And finally, well, I put the last point into Ranged Weaponry. Bringing it up to 36.

8,045 more until level 21.

"Alright, so," I turned to face them. "Shikamaru had a point, more jutsu means more power spikes and since I'm trying to get to a specific spike in particular, I decided to go with what he and Sasuke suggested."

Shikamaru nodded in satisfaction, leaning back onto the grass with a grin.

"Aw, man!" Kiba folded his arms.

"Alright, if that's what you want, Daisuke," Naruto shrugged. "I guess you can get better aim later."

"Sorry, Naruto," I said, before turning to everyone else. "Now, I think we're overdue for some sparring, if we still have time."

"I…I think we have time, Senpai," Hinata said quietly, her Byakugan on.

"Cool. So, are we doing this 'one at a time against me' or are we breaking it into pairs?" I asked. "What do you think, Hisako? Nichiren?"

"One at a time," Nichiren nodded. "I think everyone here wants a crack at you."

There were nods of agreement from the group.

I shrugged. "Alright."

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Not much to say, other than somehow some of you managed to miss that Danzo's been branded a traitor and is currently on the run and thus is no danger, at all, to Daisuke. At least not right now. Anyway, I do understand that my suffixes in the early chapters are wrong. Hilariously wrong. Dumb wrong. But, alas, I'm not going to go back and fix it until this first draft of the fic is done.  
_

 _Hope you enjoyed. Until the next time._

 _~Fulcon_


	40. Hail to the Emperor

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

I took them apart.

One by one, each student approached, eager to put their training to the test and one by one, I put them on the ground with little fanfare. Each of them had varying skill levels. Shino and Shikamaru were technically proficient but weren't good enough to adapt and Kiba and Chouji had a lot of raw spirit but not enough technical mastery to make it work. Ino had spirit _and_ technical skill but was brought down by a physique I'm sure had improved over the past two weeks but still wasn't quite up to par. Hinata did _not_ want to fight me, I could tell, but other than that, she had it all. I was actually pleasantly surprised by her skill and the athletic ability behind it, but was dragged down by her hesitance to fight me. It was interesting to see Naruto and Sakura's skill levels in comparison to everyone else, they had grown really far and it made me happy to see that their hard work was starting to pay off.

"Down you go," I said, after pushing on Sasuke's back, throwing him over my outstretched foot and sending him to the ground. Out of all my…I hesitate to call the rookie 9 'victims' but there's really no other way to describe it…anyway, Sasuke was the one with the most progress, thanks to the Sharingan watching my every move. He's even using some of my moves against me, which honestly made my heart swell with fondness for this guy before I introduced the perfect counter to his imperfect delivery of my perfect move.

You know, with all the moves, combos and kata's I create in _mid_ _combat_ , I'm surprised I've never gotten any EXP for them. Since that's all a Taijutsu really is, a specific combo that accomplishes a certain task, like Sasuke's combo where he knocks someone up, appears above them and kicks them back to the ground or Lee move where he ties someone up with bandages before driving them, head-first, into the ground below. I'm starting to wonder if it's not possible to get EXP from Taijutsu. That's a balance mistake if I've ever seen one and it's kind of annoying. Seriously, I should be getting hundreds of points from _this fight alone_.

"Good attempt," I said, offering him a hand, which he rejected and stood up on his own. Alright, whatever.

"Thank you, Senpai," Sasuke replied respectfully.

"So, I think that's all the time we have for tonight," Hisako said, walking out before everyone. "Thanks for coming!"

"When's our next training exercise?" Sasuke asked quickly.

"Well, our Furlough's over," Hisako said. "And we don't have as much free time as we did before, so…sometime next week? We'll let you know."

"You'd…thank you, Senpai's," Sasuke gave a bow of respect, as did everyone else. We said our farewells, all the kids went to rendezvous with their parents. Naruto gave me a hug before scampering off, leaving just me and my teammates.

"I think our study group just got a lot bigger," I finally said as I watched everyone leave.

"Yup," Hisako nodded.

"Hey, uh, Daisuke," Nichiren said, turning to me and smiling. "I just wanted to say that I've noticed a lot of improvement from you. In the social aspect of things, I mean, since we became teammates."

I blinked. "Oh…really? You're not just saying that?"

"No," Nichiren nodded. "You said you get a little better with each power spike, right? Well, it really shows and I just wanted to let you know. It's been cool to see."

"Yeah, definitely," Hisako nodded in affirmation. "

"…thank you," A smile slowly graced my face. "You guys have gotten a lot better too, actually. In the combat aspect of things, I mean."

"Thanks," Hisako nodded. "Glad my trainings been paying off."

"Same," Nichiren nodded. "How's training with Lee been?"

"When you get used to the enthusiasm, Lee and Gai-sensei are amazing," Hisako replied. "They've both been huge helps…I think Gai's a little smug that he's been helping his rival's student, though."

"They are rivals," Nichiren nodded. "So it makes a little sense, I guess."

"…hey, do you guys want to go out to barbecue tonight?" I asked a little hopefully. "You know, I'm craving steak for whatever reason."

"My parents asked me to make dinner tonight," Nichiren said with an apologetic smile. "It's my turn tonight."

"My Mom's home," Hisako offered an embarrassed shrug with a _very_ disappointed face. "I'd love too, Daisuke, I really would, but Mom's _never_ home and I've been wanting to catch up with her."

"Oh," I said, deflating. "Right. Sorry, you guys have lives beyond the team. I forgot."

"I think I can go for lunch tomorrow, though," Hisako offered with a placating smile. "Right after morning training?"

"Hey yeah, that'd be a great idea," Nichiren nodded. "You could invite Sensei, too…if you're not still mad at him, I mean."

"I'm not mad," I shrugged with a frown. "Anymore."

"Oh good," Nichiren let out a sigh of relief. "Sorry, past couple training sessions, I was afraid something was going to start exploding."

"I'm not that bad," I said, folding my arms.

"Well, maybe not, but that's what it felt like," Nichiren replied. "Anyway, I got to get going. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure," I nodded.

"See you," Hisako gave a wave as he turned around and left.

It was just me and her.

"So, your Mom's home?" I asked. "That's awesome."

"Yeah, I really wish she could be around more often," Hisako said with a frown. "I've been needing her advice for a while."

"Oh, really?" I asked. "On what?"

"…certain things in my life," She sighed. "So, Daisuke…I have a confession to make."

"Okay," I didn't like where this was going.

"So, during our C-rank, when we talked about…us dating?" Hisako started, bringing some very odd feelings in my chest and stomach. "You said you didn't want too until you had your social issues fixed."

"Yeah," I nodded. "That's right. I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings, I just…"

"Daisuke," She put a hand on my arm. "It's okay. I know…I was just wanting to say that…I didn't take it well. I thought you were just letting me down easy because you didn't think I measured up to your expectations."

"That's not it at all," I said quickly.

"Well, I know that _now_ ," Hisako said. "But then…I wasn't in the best shape. Emotionally, I mean. I thought you had died and then you just came back like it was nothing and then you shut me down. So, yeah."

I blinked. "Sorry."

"No, no," Hisako sighed. "What I'm trying to say is that I wasn't being fair to you and _I'm_ sorry. Like…really, sorry about that. I hope you can forgive me?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"Thank you," Hisako smiled, then she half-lidded her eyes and got…close. "I hope that when you get that level up to your charisma that you don't forget about _me_ when you're swimming in girls."

"I…no, no," I said uneasily, trying _not_ to think about swimming in women with the twelve-year-old girl that likes me right in front of me. "Not…I _couldn't_ forget about you. Ever."

She giggled. "That's nice of you to say."

She's twelve! Well, I mean, so am I. No! I'm not a child. Not really. I…uh…

"I got to go," I said. "See you at lunch tomorrow?"

"See you there," She gave a wave farewell and I disappeared back home thanks to my flying thunder god.

…What was that?

She's twelve, Daisuke. Seriously considering her like that is hebephilia. It's not okay, you don't get an exception like that just because you're in the body of a twelve-year-old and have the brain of a twelve-year-old. No.

Well, at that point, what's the difference? The only oddity is the experiences of an adult male of an entirely different world! A world I only partly remember! Everything else is consistent with a twelve-year-old except for the psychotic man-child tendencies!

It makes all the difference! Especially with those psychotic man-child tendencies. She doesn't. Deserve. To put up with that. Frankly, if I had my way, she'd end up with someone sane, like Nichiren.

But if that happens, then _I_ don't end up with her and I don't get to be happy romantically and I…think I _do_ like her. And romantic happiness is an essential part of being human and I am human. Right?

…right?

I looked at my hands for a brief moment, opening and closing them.

I am human. It's for that reason I bought a guitar. I'm not just a game avatar of some psycho on the other side of a computer screen, completely uncaring of anything in his experience beyond his own entertainment. And if I'm human, I need…emotional intimacy. Which doesn't necessarily mean _physical_ intimacy, either. I knew that for a fact. But I am worried that one will lead to the other and _she's twelve_.

That would be unacceptable. Too young is too young. No guarantees I'd be able to do 'relationship' right anyway…I need to hang out more with my friends. All of my friends, regardless of 'political dangers'. If they're going to be heading their own clans, I need to be friends with them anyway. Save 'relationship' for Almost Perfect where I can be the best boyfriend/fiancé/husband a girl could ask for.

…am I really different enough that I need to date actual adults? I'm…not so sure anymore. At the very least, I know I'm insane…and I hope Almost Perfect, with increasing the social awareness, will help treat that madness. It might be a difficult transition, but I need to make it.

* * *

The days came and went. Lunch with Sensei and my teammates was good. I made it a point to visit Naruto after each day of the Academy. Being social is healthy, and no matter how much I don't like it, I have a way to do it, and so I have too. Each time, I was greeted by the Clan heads, and then their children. Naruto seemed to be doing better with the other students and he seemed happier than I've ever known him. Awesome.

I never stayed _long_ , however. As much as I…perhaps needed to hang out with individuals my own age, I usually had a bit of unease around their parents for whatever reason. Especially Inoichi. I knew they all _wanted_ something, but I couldn't figure out _what_ and it was somewhat nerve wracking.

But, alas, it was midnight, two weeks to the dot. It was time to head over to the Penguins. With a quest name like 'hail to the Emperor', this was the final battle. That both astounded me that my bombs were that effective and that they worked fast enough to get to the final battle this fast. Wars were supposed to last _years_ , though this wars been going on since before I signed on, so there's that.

Clone? Check. Seal to enforce duration? Check. Reminder to install privacy seals at a later date when I'm not actually doing something that could get me killed because their installation could get the Hokage to come knocking? Check.

Time to go.

 _Quest Updated: Hail to the Emperor._

 _Completed: Go to the Penguin Empire in about two weeks at 12am._

 _Speak with the Emperor._

The ice and snow of the Frozen Seas, as the Penguins called them were a welcome sight. I didn't see a penguin around to greet me like normal, so I dove right into the snow with a giant grin and made a snow angel. And then two. Then I got bored and headed off to the Emperor's Iceberg.

Around the frozen bay the palace floated in was a flurry of activity. Penguins of all sizes and species were gathered together, carrying frozen weapons of all kinds. Over a dozen of the bombs that I had prepared were placed around the area and there was an excitement in the air, a far cry from the last time I saw everyone. It wasn't just excitement, it was a _happy_ excitement. Things had been going well indeed.

As I approached, the Penguins got even _louder_ , making a path for me as I went toward the palace, cheering 'Summoner! Summoner!' at the top of their lungs. I…wow. I guess my bombs helped them out a _lot_.

The inside was still lined as Penguins filled the windows. The Emperor looked down upon me with a smile and Yujiro was nodding in approval.

"You are right on time as always, Shimoda," The Emperor said. "As you may have pieced together, your bombs have been a great help."

"We blew up Table Scrap Cove yesterday," Yujiro supplied with a feral grin. "It was such a great explosion, we made the day a Holiday for all Penguin kind."

"Indeed," The Emperor said. "We've broken the Shark's offensive and routed the Sea Lions back to their shores. The way to the Frozen Reef, the home of the Fish Clans, is open, and we _will_ attack them and we _will_ capture the three bosses Kirito, Takeru and Taichi, and we _will_ end this war _tonight!_ "

"My bombs were really that helpful?" I asked with a blink.

"All problems can be solved with a big enough explosion," Yujiro nodded. "And your bombs make _big_ explosions."

"Combined with the lack of survivors, the sharks didn't find out about the bombs until we had almost pushed them out of our territory completely," The Emperor had a predatory smile on his face too. " _And_ the Megalodon was heavily wounded by one of the bombs…we will not be facing him this day."

More cheers filled the palace.

"Our mission this day is to seize control of the Shark and Lion's food supply," The Emperor explained to everyone. "When that is done, the Sharks and Lions will have no choice but to surrender and the Fish will be brought to _heel_. _None_ defy the Empire! _None fight the Empire!_ _And none escape the Empire's justice!_ "

I get the feeling the Shark's clan is a lot bigger than the Penguin's know. At best, it'll force them to withdraw from the Frozen seas to more sustainable areas while they scheme to make another foothold in the area. At worst, they'll just flood the cold waters with Penguins and…oh, dear.

I'll have to bring this up after the fight.

"All armies proceed to the North shore," The Emperor commanded. " _We move now!_ "

The cheers in the Palace were deafening and the Penguins filed out of the windows, sliding down the outside.

 _Quest Updated: Hail to the Emperor._

 _Completed: Speak with the Emperor._

 _Participate in the Assault on the Great Reef._

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

"Shimoda!" I looked over and saw Captain Shizo waving over to me from the windows, barely hearing him over the din. "You're with us!"

"Yes, Captain!" I replied, sliding over to Squad three and moving out with them.

"Shimoda, you're going to grab a bomb and we'll meet the rest of the force at the North shore," Captain Shizo explained. "It's going to be _just like_ the liberation of Blackfoot island, except we're going _under_ the water after the bombs go off, not over it."

"Understood, Captain," I grabbed one of the bombs as we passed it and we moved onwards without skipping a beat.

"The way to the Great Reef is a _long_ match," Captain Shizo explained. "I hope you're ready for it."

"I don't get tired, Captain," I replied. "Longest I've gone without sleep is a month."

"How?" Masato asked, turning his head to look at me without changing direction on accident.

"Bloodline," I replied. "It's how I can help you guys without nodding off even though it's midnight where I come from."

"I see," Masato said. "It's usually either Day-time or Nighttime here in the Frozen seas for months at a time, so I'm not entirely experienced with a Summoner's traditional sleep schedule."

"Eh, it's okay."

Squad 3 met with everyone else at the North shore. Once all heads were accounted for, we moved and we moved _fast_. Like speed boats we zipped across the water. Masato and Riku both took turns dipping their head under the water to keep an eye for sharks or sea lions around that might warn the opposing armies to our advance. Excitement started to boil up inside me with each passing hour, until the Emperor called for a stop with an Island off in the distance.

My clone had four hours and forty-three minutes out of eight solid hours left.

"Squads 1 through 9, move forward to the target areas," The Emperor commanded and I followed the captain.

"Another Volcanic fissure?" I asked.

"No, barracks and armories for the fish," Captain Shizo clarified. "We're deep into Fish territory, and while they're allies, they don't really need Sharks to defend their city."

"Something about this whole war's given me this uneasy feeling, Captain," I said as we came to a stop. I set the timer and let it drop beneath the water. "This…alliance. How did it start?"

"Honestly Shimoda, I don't know," Captain Shizo replied. "Believe me, part of me hopes the question gets answered, but right now we need to worry about stopping this war and making sure it never happens again."

"Understood," I said, mentally sighing.

The tell-tale shake of the water beneath us was all the tell we'd need.

 _+2500 EXP._

Only 5545 more until I level.

 _That's_ more like it.

"Riku, the Ice-Mortar," Captain Shizo ordered.

Riku gave a crisp salute and fired off a gleaming shard of frozen ice that soared up into the sky.

"Everyone drop and rejoin the main force as they pass over," Captain Shizo ordered and after a swift application of my water-breathing seal, I joined them and watched as the Penguin army passed above us like a fleet of star ships above us.

…I want to go to space. I live in a world where basically I can anything, I want to go to space. Set up a base on the moon. Or whatever planet is out there, since I'm not sure the solar system I reside in is necessarily similar, at all, with the one I came from.

The army dipped down and I followed Shizo to rejoin the main force.

Beneath us was a city. A large, spacious city built on and out of black stone and wrecked ship hulls. The architecture reminded me of the ancient Greek buildings, but with a clearly Asian bent to them. The only thing that stood completely out of place were a series of…pods? Saucer shaped and tight, bubble-like windows on the outside and hatches on the top and bottom.

"Leave the civilians, they won't fight," Shizo ordered, a seal on his beak glowing brightly. "Focus on the soldiers. We're going to be part of the main incursion, so our objective is the palace."

That large building at the edge? With large spires and decorative statues everywhere? Of _course,_ that's where I'm going. In fact, I'd head there anyway even if I wasn't ordered there.

We descended on the city. Unarmed civilians immediately took refuge in their homes, shutting doors behind them as we swept through the city.

You know, now would be a _great_ time to test out that reflex enhancement jutsu…

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 100/75._

 _Medicine Check Success: 70/70._

 _+1200 EXP._

Electricity coursed through the water and through my skin. I felt a raw energy fill me like I just got hooked up to a nuclear reactor and the world seemed to slow down by a margin. I'm not ashamed to admit it, but when I exploded a pair of fish guards that charged us with spears wrapped in their fins, I giggled like a school girl.

 _+200 EXP._

It was almost like they didn't even _try_ to fight me. I could easily see this as getting boring later, but right now, it was _awesome_. Like liquid omnipotence was coursing through my veins and promising _all kinds of death_ to my enemies.

A third fish saw me, dropped its spear and swam away as fast as it could. I…let him go. I may be hungry for experience, but…even I had standards. Low ones, but they're there.

4145 more EXP until level 21.

The army swept through the street. Red lights were flashing from lanterns suspended from wooden posts, signifying that the alert had gone out. I back up just slightly, allowing a spear to pass in front of me before I casually broke it then reduced his head to paste.

 _+100 EXP._

Masato and Riku speared another guard on opposing sides, causing the corpse to spin counter-clockwise in the air. Water. You know. Rookie span rapidly in place, slapping another one in the face and sending it toward Shizo, who knife-flippered it into the stone below.

We continued our attack, eventually reaching the palace. I punched, kicked and jutsu'd anything that didn't voluntarily get out of my way, leaving a trail of blood and gore behind me as we went. Eventually, we reached the palace, the Emperor's feet touching down on the ground and sticking there.

 _+1000 EXP._

"Fish Lords, the Emperor has come for his due!" The Emperor's voice echoed through the water, a seal stretched across his beak the same way Shizo had. "Show yourselves and surrender, and I will grant you your lives."

"Why would they trust monsters like you?"

I'm confused.

Standing before the Emperor was a girl. A human girl. No older than sixteen, with teal-colored hair floating in the water, her sea-foam green eyes glowing in the water. She was wearing robes that matched her hair with sleeves that reached past her hands by a good foot. They were closed tight, taking the form of fins and the robe itself did likewise, making her entire bottom half a giant fin.

"I don't believe we've been introduced," The Emperor said, raising an eye-muscle. "You clearly know who I am…what is your name?"

"My _name_ is Higuchi Asuka," She introduced herself with a cool tone. "And _you_ disgust me. Your whole race deserves extinction for its monstrosities."

"Oh, I think we've found the source of the Alliance, my Lord Emperor," Yujiro said, sliding forward with a big grin. "You want her dead or alive?"

"Alive, preferably," The Emperor said with an amused tone. "Her story should prove entertaining, at the very least. Shimoda?"

"Yes, Emperor-sama," I replied, zooming forward, giving Asuka just the briefest glimpse of me before I applied a knock-out seal to her forehead, sending her to unconsciousness.

"Very good," The Emperor said, sliding forward. "Keep her away from the fish, I think her hot-headedness is something they'll wish to rescue her from."

"You got it," I replied, putting out captive against the wall before making several hand seals and slamming my hands onto the floor, creating several circular seals in the area ahead of me. A minefield that I'll explode when something gets too close.

And…eh, why not. I've put it off for a while. Been too focused on learning another song on the guitar. It's turning out to be easier now that I've got some experience but…yeah.

 _Fuinjutsu Check Success: 100/90._

 _+2400._

The seal wrote itself on my skin, thankfully I knew enough to turn the ink invisible to avoid giving anything away and compressed it to a small ball on my solar plexus. Any damage hits my form, it gets shunted to my bones. I was partially worried that, if there was any time for a game bug to show up, now would be the time, for the perk to not work properly or something, and get a broken bone the moment I took damage. But considering the relatively…bug _free_ nature of the game so far, I'm going to finally take the risk, and shunt all incoming damage to my indestructible skeleton. Chakra requirement should be…manageable, it only procs when I get _hit_ , so that helps.

The sound of a _giant_ explosion down the hall to my right sounded and it was _full_ of ice. I wasn't going to go down there, I remembered the last time I fought something unduly massive. That's more like a _level 30_ challenge to do.

Five fish soldiers came from outside the palace, swimming toward us. "They've got the Summoner!"

Who me? No, they're talking about her…oh, hey. She has gills on her neck. That explains a bit more.

"Men! Charge!" The fish leader, who wore a helmet, ordered.

 _+500 EXP_.

This Supercharge Aura is coming in _really_ handy.

Shizo's whistle pierced the water. "Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"I improvised," I shrugged.

"You improvised."

"Yup," I nodded.

"Kid, I ain't qualified to judge," Shizo replied. "But you're freaky, Shimoda."

"I get that impression a lot," I replied with a frown.

"Eh, don't worry about it," Shizo said with a smile. "You're our freak, and that's what matters."

"Thanks, I think," I raised my eyebrow.

"Hey! The fish bosses are on ice!" Yujiro slid out to us. "Come out and see! And bring her!"

I put the unconscious girl on my shoulders and swam forward through the hall. Inside was a veritable forest of ice, the walls having been completely frozen over and the ceiling having accrued a mass that was trying to float up through the ceiling. In three, massive blocks of ice were bound three of the largest fish that I've ever seen in my life…if the Penguin's didn't want them alive, they'd eat good for a _looooong_ time.

"Alas, intelligent though they've proven to be, we are still their natural predators," The Emperor mused. "We will take them to the surface, we cannot occupy the city for much longer."

"My Lord Emperor," Another Penguin flew in, one I haven't seen before. "I've been sent by my captain to inform you that we've looked inside the strange saucers we saw on our way inside…they're fish."

"Why keep their own kind in saucers?" The Emperor asked with a frown. "Are they prisons?"

"No…the Fish inside are…well, they're feral," The penguin whose name I don't know said. "Animals."

"…that is perplexing," The Emperor said. "Leave the Saucers as they are. Make preparations to move three massive ice cubes and contain the fish's summoner."

"…yes, My Lord," The penguin bowed and left.

"They are alive in there, yes?" I asked Captain Shizo.

"We march back to the capital with our bounty in tow," The Emperor ordered. "Move!"

And we did, leaving the city like conquerors we were.

 _Quest Updated: Hail to the Emperor._

 _Completed: Participate in the Assault on the Great Reef._

 _Witness the interrogation of Higuchi Asuka._

"Oh yeah," Shizo nodded. "They're alive in there, and they'll remain alive until the Emperor decides they need to die."

"Is there a chance he'll actually leave them alive?" I asked.

"Yup," Shizo replied. "Like I told you, we're not out for Genocide here. We mainly just want a surrender. An explanation as to how they got the Sharks and Sea Lion's to get along would be nice too."

"That would be nice," I replied, keeping my captive glued to my back as we zoomed back to the frozen tundra of the Penguin empire. "Call me crazy, but I think it's got something to do with the saucers full of feral fish."

"You know, it just might," Masato replied to my right. "If they've found a way to bring their non-sapient cousins from the elemental countries and grow them to appropriate size without causing them to gain any manner of sapience, it would go a long way to explain the alliance and how it's managed to function."

"Then why weren't we invited?" Shizo asked from the front. "We ate fish as much the other guys."

"You guys did make it a habit to also eat sharks _and_ sea lions," I pointed out. "If it were _me_ , I'd be against you guys getting a free pass. I mean, you guys did what you had too, and I respect that-"

"I get it, Shimoda," Shizo replied. "It makes sense, I guess. But we'll have to see what the human draped across your back has to say."

We ended up making good time, getting back onto Penguin shore. I had over an hour left of clone life, so I was good, provided the proceedings didn't take too much time. The blocks were escorted off to the right, where I saw a massive cave had been hollowed out for them.

"I'm guessing I'm taking her _right_ to the throne room," I said, mostly to myself.

"Correct!" Shizo replied.

And so, we did. We entered the palace through one of the windows, the light quickly dimming as the Penguins who _didn't_ go filled the place, crowding the windows. The Emperor himself splashed back into his pool.

"We return victorious!" The Emperor declared to the throne-room and it filled with cheers. "We have captured their Lords _and_ their summoner!"

That announcement led to…whispers. I thought they would've kept shouting, but I guess they didn't want to interrupt the Emperor.

"Shimoda…bring her forth and wake her," The Emperor ordered.

"As you command," I said, sliding forward and laying Asuka down on the ice. Then I took the seal off and stood back.

Asuka's eyes snapped open and she began breathing in hard, ragged gasped. The sleeves and hem of her robe retracted, allowing her to stand. Cleverly made, those robes of hers. She looked around, until she laid eyes on the Emperor, and her eyes narrowed.

"So…is this my execution?" She snarled, still looking around at everyone.

"Oh, it _can_ be, I guess," The Emperor said. "I mostly had you brought for an _explanation_."

"Of _what_?" She demanded.

"How you managed to get the sharks, the sea lions and the fish to all make piece one with another, for starters," The Emperor listed if off like she _wasn't_ acting like a suicidally angry kunoichi…or perhaps _because_. There was a reason Yujiro was the court jester. "And, of course, what those saucers were. But the important thing first."

"You're wondering why we allied with the sharks and sea lions to eradicate you," Asuka repeated to herself with a laugh. "Wow. Really. They told me you were all crazy, but I guess that's just the proof of it, right there. Why do you think?"

"We don't know, that's why we're asking you," Yujiro's eye twitched. "Keep up."

"We sent you a diplomatic envoy and you _ate them_!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. "An envoy to ask if you wanted to _switch_ from the sapient, thinking and _feeling_ fish to the animal's I was growing here in the ocean, which, as you so _helpfully noticed_ , are being housed in those _saucers_."

Oh.

Ohhhhhhhh.

 _That's_ what's going on.

…if someone doesn't say something soon, my EXP's going to be coming in Penguin flavor.

"We received no such diplomatic envoy," The Emperor replied. "I assume they were garbed in some manner to denote importance?"

Oh, okay.

"In robes of gold and white," Asuka snarled.

"I don't recall any such fish ever reaching the Empire's boarders," The Emperor blinked. "I assure you, if I had learned of these intentions, we _would_ have switched by Imperial decree. It would simply be practical to do so."

"I…what?" Asuka was…disarmed? Is that the right word? Disarmed. That's what I'm going with. "You…but…?"

"But we cannot accept a deal we do not know exists," The Emperor said. "Thus, we did not know. We received no such diplomats, no citizen of the Empire would attack fish clearly of high status that wished an audience. We're not _savages_ , girl."

"What happened, you send some goldfish or something?" Yujiro asked, and the whole auditorium erupted into laughter, including the Emperor.

Asuka was glaring _balefully_ at Yujiro. " _No._ "

"Oh, don't mind him," The Emperor said with a fond smile. "He's merely having fun at your expense. But, that still belays the question of what to do _now._ "

"...if you wanted to join in on the offer, the Fish Bosses would be more than willing to allow you to do so," Asuka said, looking downward and hiding her face behind her hair. "Especially since you have a blade to their throats."

"We would do so, if we weren't sure there wasn't going to be some form of kunai levied against our backs in the future," The Emperor nodded to himself. "We'll thaw out the Fish Bosses _tomorrow_ and we'll discuss important events in more detail. Until then, you will be kept in one of the rooms in the palace under guard. Do you understand?"

Asuka took a breath. " _Yes_."

"Very good," The Emperor turned to me. "Shimoda, if you could come back tomorrow, I would like you present for the end. We also need to discuss your _payment_ for the amount of help you've given us."

"Understood, Emperor Sama," I nodded to him. "I will be here."

 _Quest Completed: Hail to the Emperor._

 _Completed: Witness the interrogation of Higuchi Asuka._

 _+1200._

 _Quest Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Completed: Continue Assisting the Penguins._

 _Meet the Emperor tomorrow at 12am._

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level Up!**_

 _Level 21._

…alright, what do? Ummmm…Let's but _**3**_ points into _Pick Lock,_ bringing it up to a solid 20 without bonuses. Put _5_ points in _Genjutsu_ , bringing it up to _70_ without bonuses. _10_ points into Medicine to bring it up to _80_ , stuffs freaking useful and I'll put another _5_ points into Ranged Weapons, making it (with bonuses) _45_. Yeah. That should be fine. Especially since I'm getting another Element next level and _those_ don't have skill requirements, so I can specialize (or not) as I please!

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Not much to say. At least not beyond telling people that criticizing Daisuke's actions or his character is pointless because all of this has been written before and what you're all reading is the culmination of over a years worth of work. I'm not changing anything right now and probably never because I'm honestly happy with how things are right now.  
_

 _Other than that, I do want to note the lack of visible scale here in the assault. Because I neglected to write anything regarding the rest of the action, the scene feels very small and contained, the exact opposite of what I wanted here._

 _~Fulcon_


	41. Summoner

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _Quest Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land:_

 _Completed: Meet the Emperor tomorrow at 12am._

 _Speak with the Emperor._

"Daisuke, we're quite glad you could make it," The Emperor seemed thoroughly pleased, both in tone and demeanor, as he looked down upon me. "I trust your day wasn't overly stressful?"

We were currently standing in a private area of the Ice-berg palace. It was simply a large room with a closed pool the Emperor slept in. There was no visible source of light, but it was lit in a manner that reminded me of an aurora that danced just beyond the ice walls.

"No, but I think I'll be glad when I'm done here," I replied with a frown. "I would really like to avoid getting caught. That would be bad."

"Well, I hope you don't get in trouble the first time you summon a penguin," The Emperor nodded with a raised eye-muscle. "Your contributions to the salvation of our species have _earned_ you our summoning scroll."

"I…thank you, Emperor-sama," I said with a bow. Knew it. I totally knew it. "I don't think I'll get in trouble…I pull jutsu out of my rear on a regular basis and as long as no-one mentions a war, I don't _think_ anyone will accuse me of suicidally charging into the enemy. Again."

"That should be simple," The Emperor replied with a nod. "But before we let you sign the scroll, we have a few things for you."

"Oh, cool," I nodded. "Erm, really quick, Emperor-sama, I have a question."

"Go ahead," The Emperor said.

"What happened to the fish diplomats?" I asked.

"That's still under investigation," The Emperor said. "The diplomats were being escorted by sharks and sea lions to prevent us from simply eating the diplomats outright. They returned after being unsuccessful at defending them. Personal theory? The body guards ate them and began a three-way alliance to destroy us."

"Because you ate sharks and sea lions for who knows how long?" I asked with a frown.

" _Precisely_ ," The Emperor said. "There's no real innocent party in this war, I'm afraid. The ability to change for the better is a privilege that will not go to waste, I assure you."

"I'm…actually glad to hear that," I nodded.

"Now for your payment. It is three-fold," The Emperor said, clapping his fins together and Yujiro came zipping in from a small tunnel that was dug into the wall and…was he carrying a suit of armor. "The first is armor, made from shark-leather and treated sea lion bones."

Yujiro held it up with a grin. "Do us a favor and don't wear it while you're around here. Might cast some doubt on our commitment to the new peace but while your home? Screw 'em."

The suit's leather was dark, and thick. A thick, leathery long-coat over an equally thick shirt, the coattails draped down to the ankles, the sleeves long and tucked into the gloves. Just behind the coat and shirt, I saw an under-shirt made of fish scales, most likely serving the same purpose as my mesh undershirt. It had gloves and boots, both of which had a molded, bone-plate armor stitched and fused – the gloves on the back of the hand and on the forearm, the boots on the shins and feet. In contrast with the dark leather of the rest of the suit, the bone pieces were a marble white, which brought me to the helmet. The helmet was a molded Sea-Lion skull, open like it's owner was so shocked at something it's moth hit the floor. It's eye-sockets were molded and adjusted to fit over my own. Filling the gap between the upper jaw and the lower jaw was a mouth full of shark teeth and a black, mesh-like mask on the inside of the skull would easily stop anyone from seeing my facial features. I thought it looked spectacular. Utterly, absolutely, spectacular.

I mean, it was clearly _Edgelord Bleedingrazor 9000_ , but this suit made me want _Edgelord Bleedingrazor 9000._

The stats weren't anything to sneeze at, either. _75_ _DR_ , which combined with Toughness meant that it hit the DR cap of _85_. _+10% Speed_ from the boots, _+25% Chakra Regeneration_ from the helmet, _+15% Critical Strike Chance_ from the gloves. The coat and shirt had a _5% Taijutsu Damage Reflection_ (which…was either it reflected 5% of all Taijutsu damage back at my opponent, or it had a _chance to reflect all Taijutsu damage at the opponent_ ) and the pants…well, the pants didn't have a secondary effect.

 _But I'm okay with that!_

I _have_ noticed, however, that there are _no_ SPECIAL bonuses to be found here. Which means that this is a post _Almost Perfect_ armor, which is fine by me. "It's perfect."

"We thought you might like it," Yujiro said with a grin. "But seriously, don't wear it around here."

"You don't have to worry," I said, sliding up to Yujiro. "May I?"

"You may," The Emperor said and I _snatched_ it out Yujiro's flippers and threw it in one of my storage scrolls.

"Thank you," I said with a happy nod. "I won't start wearing it immediately…I'll need some time, is all, but when I do, I'm going to be happy."

"That's great to hear," The Emperor said. "Now for the second part of your payment."

"What is it?" I asked with a smile. "A new weapon? Jutsu? Sage Mode?"

"Calm down, Kid," Yujiro said, grinning when I started glaring at him again. "No, we don't have Sage Mode. That secret's in a couple other clans, but we don't know how to do it. Yet. We're working on it."

"Oh. Okay," Well, I didn't know a lot of details about Sage Mode, so I don't feel that pang of loss I would assuredly be feeling if I knew it was _broken_. I mean, it probably _was_ broken, but I didn't know _how_ broken, exactly. "So, what is it?"

"An interview with one of our clans Elder," The Emperor said. "Traditionally, when we hand out our contract, we have the summoner go in for an interview, both to see if they really are worthy and to be given council should they need it."

"Uh…okay," I said with a frown. "I…if you think it's worth what I gave you-"

"It is, Daisuke," Yujiro nodded with a…solemnity. "Trust me. It is."

"…okay," I said. "So, there's a chance I won't get the contract?"

"The only way you wouldn't at this point is if you helped cause the war that nearly wiped us out," The Emperor answered. "But since that's impossible, it's just that you're being given a service only rarely has been given to non-penguins."

I shrugged at that. "Alright. Where's this Elder?"

"Bear in mind, the contents and goings on in that interview are completely confidential," The Emperor explained. "Unless there's a threat to the Empire, even I will not be privy to details."

"Alright," I nodded.

"Yujiro, show him to the elder's office," The Emperor said.

"By your leave, Lord Emperor," Yujiro bowed. "Come on, Shimoda. The Elder doesn't have all day!"

 _Quest Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Completed: Speak with the Emperor._

 _Speak with the Penguin Elder._

We went up through the tube that allowed Yujiro to enter the Emperor's room at short notice, up through the ice, across a bridge, to the left across a wall, upwards between a pair of tubes that stretched from one wall to another until, finally, we arrived at another tube. We dove inside and came to a small room with a pool on the floor, glowing light emanating from the floor.

"He's just on the other side of the pool," Yujiro said, gesturing out with his fin.

"What can I expect?" I asked with a frown.

"Oh, he'll explain," Yujiro said. "And you can say no to anything he offers you. He won't be offended."

"Oooohkaaaay," I said.

"Anyway, I must see to the Emperor," Yujiro said, waving farewell. "Come see us when you're done."

"Alright," I replied as Yujiro slid back through the tube we came through.

I looked at the pool, more than a little anxious about what I'll find on the other side…worst comes to worse, I can just refuse. Yujiro's a jerk, but he hasn't actually _lied_ (without telling me about it immediately after) to me yet. So…trustworthy troll is trustworthy?

With that, I jumped into pool, and found myself swimming forward and up immediately up through the exit.

…that was a short pool tunnel.

Inside was one of the smaller penguins. He had a blue fuzz on his torso, like a soft down that would probably make my hand feel warm and fuzzy after rubbing it for a minute or two. His face had some visible wrinkles and they were exaggerated by the gentle smile his facial muscles were twisted into around his beak. "Hello there, I've been waiting for you."

"Hi," I replied. "I'm Shimoda Daisuke."

"Pleased to meet you," His voice was soft and gentle, not quite old but _almost_ there. "You can call me Danjuro. Please take a seat. I promise you won't actually get wet."

The room itself had two chairs, both of which looked like they were made out of pure snow. Keeping the promise in mind, I planted my butt in one and Danjuro sat in the one opposite me. Like he promised, I didn't get wet, even if the seat was a bit cooler that I would've liked.

"Thank you," I said. "So…what do I do?"

"Well, typically when a penguin or a non-penguin comes to speak to me, we have a bit of an interview," Danjuro explained, gesturing with his flippers. "Typically, Penguins and Penguin Summoner's tend to be very multifaceted individuals, and we like to make sure they're completely trustworthy. After we've confirmed they are, we talk. About what the future holds, their struggles, their hopes and aspirations. I try to offer whatever council my centuries of life have afforded me and it would be up to you to use it, or not, as you see fit."

"How do you establish trustworthiness?" I asked with a frown.

"I have two methods I use," Danjuro answered. "The first is simply conversation. We talk, and talk…and talk. I get to know you, you get to know me. That sort of thing."

"What's the other one?" I asked with a frown.

"That one's faster," Danjuro smiled. "In this method, you'd grab my fin and I'd read your chakra and if you had the aptitude or simply wanted to try, you could read mine. Then we start talking with a lot more of the air cleared. But everything is completely confidential."

"Unless there's a threat to the empire," I interjected with a frown.

"Well, are you a threat to the empire?" Danjuro asked.

"No."

"Then everything is completely confidential between the two of us," Danjuro smiled again. "Simple as that. Which would you like?"

…you know…this may be the only chance I ever get to be completely honest with someone. To...maybe _talk_ about the issues I'm facing. My attraction to Hisako, my friendship with the rest of the Rookie 9, Hiruzen, Kakashi…my status as a reincarnate. I… _might_ …get some real council for the first time in _years_.

"So…this Chakra-reading thing," I began. "Are you going to predict the future?"

"No, nothing like that," Danjuro replied. "I'd have to read every person on the planet to get an accurate read, and I'd quickly be wrong as things change. No, I'd just read you. In the present. Right now."

"So it's more like reading my mind?" I asked with a frown. "Sorry, I'm just trying to understand what's going on with it."

"Don't be sorry. And…sort of," Danjuro bobbed his head from side to side as he spoke. "I won't know what you're thinking, per se, but I'll have an idea of your core personality and strong truths about who you are."

"Okay," I nodded.

I thought.

And I thought.

Danjuro was silent, still looking with a patient smile as I deliberated.

…did I really want to trust with this? Well, they did end up trusting me. Quite a bit.

I…think I do.

"Okay," I said. "Let's go with the Chakra-read."

He smiled and extended his fin. "Okay."

"Gimme a second," I said, disabling the chakra defense network. "There we go."

I took his fin, and I felt his chakra wash over mine. It was like a cool breeze wafting over my skin and into my core, relaxing and calming my insides. I tried to read him in turn, but…

 _Ninjutsu Check Failure: Success Not Possible._

I'm going to need a perk.

Danjuro's face was calm and content, that small smile never deviating as his chakra examined mine. After several minutes of this, Danjuro's eyes opened and he withdrew his flipper. "…well. That's new."

I took a breath.

"You're an adult trapped in a child's body," Danjuro said with concern in your eyes. "You…died? And then went to the Elemental Countries as Shimoda Daisuke for reasons you no longer recall."

"That's correct," I nodded.

Danjuro started to nod, his smile turning into a frown. "I am so sorry that this happened to you. Without having looked over you, I wouldn't have even the smallest inkling of what you've gone through. And…your…well, I don't want to call it a bloodline, but I don't have a term for it really. Well, it explains why you came to us."

"Is that a problem?" I asked with a frown.

"No, not at all," Danjuro said, shaking his head in an attempt to placate me. "You still saved us from extinction. The reason was simply not what I expected is all."

"It's…my bloodline is one of my greatest challenges," I said, letting my shoulders sink. "It's turned my whole life into a game I can't get out of."

"I saw that," Danjuro replied. "That merely compounds, I think, all of the other issues you've had to go through. But your bloodline is also your greatest strength…your greatest tool. One that's given you methods to get around its weaknesses."

"I know _that_ ," I said with a frown. "It's just hard to think of it as a blessing when it tells me of all my failures."

"It's natural to focus and harp the things that go wrong," Danjuro said, nodding. "Especially when it's pointed out to you. My first bit of council, I think, is to turn your focus from your failures to your successes. Be grateful for what you can do, not angry about what you can't."

"That's so _hard_ , though," I said with a frown. "The reminders of what I can't do, even when I've turned _off_ the notifications, are there, plain as day."

"I never said it will be easy," Danjuro said, folding his flippers in front of him. "But you've already made a great deal of progress on something that has nothing to do with the game, so you _can_ do it...was it something musical?"

"I've been learning how to play a guitar," I replied with a frown. "I can play a reasonably difficult song pretty well."

"Wonderful!" Danjuro smiled happily. "That's great. I'm very happy for you."

"Thanks," I answered with a…bashful smile. "It's been a struggle sometimes."

"And you succeeded," Danjuro nodded. "But that's not the only thing you've been struggling with, isn't it?"

"No," I replied. "I...you know I got 'grounded' back at the village, right?"

Danjuro shook his head and I sighed.

"A few days before I arrived in the Penguin Empire, our villages academy got attacked and my best friend was abducted. I rushed in and saved him," I explained, taking a deep breath. "I also saved all the clan heirs of the village."

"Good for you," Danjuro smiled. "But they didn't ground you on quick response to an emergency, yes?"

"No," I replied. "Shortly after I rescued them, we ran into my team and I got ambushed from behind…stabbed clear through by a trident."

"Oh, dear," Danjuro frowned. "You seem to be fine, though. That's good."

"I'll sleep off anything and everything," I waved it off. "But after I got free, I…found something. One part of a set of things that would increase my power. Because my team, another team and two Jounin were safe-guarding all the hostages, I thought…it'd be safe to simply continue to look for the s-items in question and then take out the leader of the enemy before reuniting with them."

"Oh," Danjuro nodded. "So, you underestimated how much the value they place on you and how much the danger you're willing to place yourself in frightens them."

"It _shouldn't_ matter," I threw my hands up in the air. "That's part of the whole 'no charisma' deal! No one's supposed to care about me or what I do. 'What's that? Daisuke's in danger? Oh, okay. At least it's not someone we like'."

"Easy, easy," Danjuro moved his flipper up and down in a calming motion. "Daisuke, the thing you need to realize is that, while you are a… _game piece_ , if you'll forgive my lack of terms-"

"You can say 'game character'," I input with a frown.

"Game character, then," Danjuro nodded. "While you are one, you do _not_ live on a game _board_. Everyone has someone that cares about them, even tangentially. And I get the feeling that you _like_ that you have people that care about you, even if that care is to wall off your immediate goals to teach you a lesson that you actually needed."

"Doesn't mean I like it," I folded my arms.

"Of course not," Danjuro nodded. "No one likes getting corrected. But it's a necessary part of growing up, something that is never truly completed, no matter a person's actual age."

"I guess," I frowned.

Things were quiet for a moment.

"I got the impression that your physical age versus your actual age is something you struggle with," Danjuro offered.

"I…yeah," I nodded. "Due to my physical age, my thinking capabilities have been reduced, so while I have the experience of an adult in a _significantly_ different world than this one, I…still act like a twelve-year-old simply because my mind is, well…physically twelve. It _infuriates me_ because there's _millions_ of things that can go wrong because I lack the foresight necessary to plot my moves out!"

"I imagine part of that has to deal with your atrophied learning capabilities," Danjuro nodded again.

"The game stole my ability to think," I replied quietly.

"You've started to take it back," Danjuro smiled happily. "The guitar. I understand you're trying to learn how to plot your moves out, speaking of which. Is that true?"

"I'm trying," I grumbled. "It's not going fast enough."

"Patience," Danjuro nodded. "Patience is a virtue."

"Virtues are just words that stop you from getting immediate gratification," I said, before blinking. I…really? That wasn't true. I knew that wasn't true.

"In a way, yes," Danjuro nodded. "They are. But they delay immediate gratification to build toward bigger and better things. Patience will help you stick with learning Tactics, so you can start _thinking_ again, as opposed to just handing it off to your game."

"You're right," I sighed. "It's just…frustrating. Like a lot of things in my life that doesn't involve fighting."

"And I am sorry for that," Danjuro frowned. "You've figured out too late that your life, mostly, wasn't going to be about fighting."

"Basically, yes," My shoulders fell.

There was another moment quiet.

"How do you feel about your treatment of your friends?" Danjuro asked finally.

"About how I treat my friends?" I repeated. When he nodded, I blinked. "Uh…I'm pretty sure it's terrible, considering how hard it is for me to think of other people…well, as people."

"I don't think that's your problem," Danjuro shook his head. "I think the problem is that you have difficulty seeing others points of view and assume they'll agree with your course of action because _you_ agree it's the best course of action."

I blinked. "I...uh…"

"Your decision to sap your own social understanding certainly plays a big part of that," Danjuro replied, now frowning in thought. "But a part of that is the fact that you've off-loaded much of your thinking to the game."

"Okay, how do I fix it?" I asked with a frown. "Without getting the level that fixes my social problems, how do I use my thinking?"

"Speak with them," Danjuro shrugged. "Write down what they say. Make a conscious effort to get their input when you can. You may be wrong much of the time, but with enough communication, you quickly become right."

"I…uh…I don't know," I said, looking away, toward the pool I had left, watching the light dance across the wall.

"They'll appreciate the attempt in any case," Danjuro smiled. "They do care about you. You know this."

"Sometimes I wish they didn't," I replied, resting my head in the palm of my hand. "Sometimes I wish _I_ didn't. My life would be so much easier if I didn't care at all."

"If you didn't care at all, you wouldn't have a reason to live," Danjuro replied with a sad sigh. "I know you don't want that."

I frowned, and we were quiet further.

"…you miss your old home?" Danjuro asked quietly.

I didn't answer immediately, but a tear that sprang unnecessarily from my eye said it all. "Yeah."

"Ohhh," He got off his seat and wrapped his flippers around me to give me a hug. "Come on, give me a hug."

I…hesitantly returned it. In my old life, I was a hugger. I loved hugs. Hugs were the best. But…in this life? I didn't know if it was okay to like hugs anymore.

…he really _was_ fuzzy. I mean, like a warm and fuzzy teddy bear. Just… _really_ comfy. Like, darn.

"There we go," Danjuro said. "See…it's going to be okay. If you want to let it out, you can."

"I…not right now," I said, letting go. "I don't feel like it."

"Alright," Danjuro let go, sliding back to his seat. "You _are_ human by the way. Very human. A human in a difficult situation, but still human."

"Thanks," I sighed.

"So," Danjuro said. "Tell me about your old world."

"…so it's obviously nothing close to this one," I began. "Obviously, there's no jutsu."

I didn't talk about the Manga. No point. It wasn't relevant anymore, anyway. I also refused to mention anything about Fallout. Or nuclear bombs. Or war. Or _anything bad_. That's not how I wanted to remember it. Things were…idealistic and happy, before EXP took over my life. But I talked. I talked, and I talked and I talked. Ranted, more like. He didn't get a single word in edge-wise. I talked about cars and planes, _going to space_ , some popular culture, all without mentioning my worlds dark side.

"It sounds pretty good over there," He said with a slow nod, rubbing his beak with a flipper after I finished rambling. "…that's how you think about it?"

"It's how I like to remember it," I replied quietly.

"I like it," He smiled, but it seemed…sad. Perhaps a tad unbelieving too. Maybe he knew I was leaving stuff out. Oh, who am I kidding, he _totally_ knew I was leaving stuff out. "Now…about your…'levels'? Was that what you called them?"

"Yup," I nodded with a frown.

"And how is your progress to each one measured?" Danjuro asked, with his head turned slightly to the side.

"Experience, which I get for killing things and completing missions," I replied. Then I remembered my early academy years. "I also used to get them for every single task and skill check I completed, but that went away for…some reason."

"Odd," Danjuro nodded. "Well, Daisuke. Would you say 'Experience' rules your life?"

"I…" I tilted my head. "…yeah. Yes. Yes, I would say it's the most important part of my life."

"For a very good reason, I understand," Danjuro replied, looking over me critically. "But it is for that reason, that it rules your life, that I give this next bit of council. When you end up having the chance between getting more experience, such as with killing or accepting a mission, I think you should decline."

"What."

"I think you should deliberately limit the amount of experience you gain on occasion," Danjuro nodded. "You said that it controls your life. That it's the most important part of your life. Tying your quality of life to the amount of death you wreak upon your enemies is not good."

"But the more death I wreak, the faster my social issues are fixed," I laughed nervously. "It's not pretty but it's necessary."

"Daisuke," Danjuro calmly got my attention. "I understand you want to get to a certain level as fast as you can. For good reason. But sometimes wreaking the most death possible is not the best thing to do overall. Can you imagine how things would have gone for the invasion if the Emperor had simply eaten Asuka at first meeting?"

"…you wouldn't know about how to grow feral fish and would still hunt sapient species for meals," I replied with a groan.

"Precisely," Danjuro replied. "And you yourself has said that the game has stolen your ability to think. With your dependence on experience, it's stolen your ability to decide how to handle situations as well. Tell me, do you get experience for taking opponents out alive?"

"…no," I replied with a frown.

"Why let it continue to make you into an executioner?" Danjuro asked with a frown. "What will you do when you've hit the last level and killing is all you know how to do to fix your problems even when it does you no good?"

That chakra-scan thing is powerful. Makes sense that it's locked behind a perk.

"I-I don't know," I replied, my eyes wide as I looked at my hands again.

"Try to go without," Danjuro advised with a nod. "Make yourself master of your game, not the other way around."

"Well…I also get experience for inventing jutsu," I replied with a hopeful look.

"Then do that," Danjuro said with a smile. "But try to find jutsu that handles problems without wreaking death. I understand as a Shinobi, you're a soldier first."

"I already have," I said with a smile on my face. "I made seals to give me a musical accompaniment while I'm playing a guitar."

"Good," Danjuro smiled happily. " _Good_. Continue to think like that. Find problems that can't be solved with an explosion. Find problems that _can_ be solved with an explosion and solve them without one."

"I…I'll try," I said.

"I'm happy to hear that," Danjuro replied. "But…remember. You don't _have_ to listen to me. I'm just offering council."

There was another quiet moment. I was trying to think off other things I could do. Jutsu to perfectly cook food, another to store it without going bad…more musical jutsu. Perhaps figuring out computers…though that brought an air of discomfort because with computers came games and if I ever see another video game in my life, I will hurl.

"…one last thing," Danjuro started. "...are you having some girl trouble?"

I blinked, looked away even as he started chuckling good naturedly. "Yeah, why?"

"Oh, I figured," Danjuro smiled. "It's been tearing you up inside, huh?"

"I'm an adult in a child's body," I replied with a frown. "I have a child crushing on me. I _like_ that she's crushing on me. I think I might be crushing on her back, if I'm not simply being lead around by my hormones like a bull by the nose-ring."

"That can certainly be problematic," Danjuro nodded. "Well, allow me to offer my viewpoint on the matter. And you are _probably_ not going to like it."

"On an issue I'm _this_ torn on, I doubt I'll like it no matter what it is," I snarked.

"You're probably right," Danjuro smiled and nodded. "So, there's a phrase that's been bopping around my head for the past few minutes, and…please bear with me."

"Okay," I shrugged, getting ready to not let my feelings or sensibilities get hurt.

"Promise you're hear me out," Danjuro asked with a frown.

"…alright, I promise," Darn. There goes simply leaving mid-sentence.

"The phrase…I think it comes from you, is this," Danjuro cleared his throat. "If it looks like a child, sounds like a child and _acts_ like a child, it is obviously a child."

Mercifully, he was quiet after he said that. This is good. Because I was trying _very_ hard to not get up and break his beak into a million pieces for _daring_ to say that, in spite of what he knew, in spite of everything we've been talking about, that I was only a _child._

"Daisuke?"

" _What?_ "

"Take a deep breath."

I growled at him.

"Daisuke," Danjuro was insistent. "Please take a deep breath."

Reluctantly, I obliged. I felt a _slight_ bit better as my tension left with my breath. "Why would you say that?"

"You said it yourself," Danjuro shrugged. "Your mind is physically twelve. That implies that it's emotional capability is also that of a twelve-year-old. Right?"

"…I guess," I grumbled at him.

"Right?"

"Right," I replied with a sigh. "Whatever."

"So, seeing as how you have the emotional and mental maturity of a twelve-year-old, you _cannot_ claim any form of maturity over those who are also your age," Danjuro replied with a frown. "Biologically, it's just not there."

My fingers dug into the couch. "I suppose so. It doesn't matter, though. My memories still say I'm an adult."

"Clinging to your adulthood is part of how you hold onto your memories of your old life, huh?" Danjuro asked with a sad smile.

I was quiet. I didn't say anything. Neither did he. I thought on that question, over and over. Until, eventually, I spoke. "Yes."

"I am so sorry," Danjuro said. "Like I said at the start, you have my deepest sympathies. I'm very sorry this all happened to you."

"It's not your fault," I replied. "It's that retarded truck-drivers fault. He shouldn't have pulled in front of me, he should've been watching where he was going."

"But I still feel for you," Danjuro responded. "But in regards to relationships and romance…no relationship at your age is meant to be sexual. Sexual relationships are for adults, and you know this."

"That's why I don't _want_ a relationship right now," I replied, leaning forward. "I'm an adult. I _crave_ sex."

"No. You don't," Danjuro sighed. "You're a child. Y-"

"Stop _saying_ that!" I barked at him. "It's not…It…It can't-"

"Forgive me," Danjuro raised his flippers in a placating gesture. "What I mean by that is that you do not crave physical intimacy. You crave _emotional_ intimacy, something perfectly within the bounds of relationships between…people of your age."

"But…what if I slip, what if puberty decides to screw me _and_ her over and we-" I began, starting to panic.

"Daisuke, puberty can be _controlled_ ," Danjuro interrupted. "It can be and it _has_ been. The amount of self-control you _do_ have is more than enough. In your old world, you were part of a religion that preached abstinence until marriage, yes?"

"Yeah," I've departed pretty far from 'Thou Shalt Not Kill', so I didn't think about it too much.

"How did they suggest adhering to that doctrine?" Danjuro asked.

"Don't stay out too late together, don't put yourselves in compromising positions," I shrugged. "Basically, don't put yourself in situations where temptations and hormones would be high and your judgement might be compromised…but it only works until you stop practicing it."

"So, practice it," Danjuro shrugged. "You _have_ the self-control needed for it. Show some trust in yourself."

"Relationships also need to be built on trust, speaking of which," I replied with a frown. "I don't trust the girl in question."

"Why not?" Danjuro frowned.

"Because I don't understand her," I shrugged. "I don't trust anything I don't understand."

"Did you trust others in your old life?" Danjuro asked, still frowning.

"To a point," I answered.

"So, what about her don't you understand?" Danjuro asked with a frown.

"I don't know why she likes me when she hates my bloodline," I replied. "She likes me but doesn't like what I can do. I mean, sure, she's been trying to use it to become stronger, to push herself against it, but it's presence annoys her something _fierce_ but she still likes me… _why_ does she like me?"

"Perhaps she admires your humility?" Danjuro asked with an amused chuckle. "I'm sorry, but without meeting her, I cannot say. But I what I can say is that I think you understand her better than you think."

"Maybe," I shrugged.

"Has she done anything to _violate_ any trust you had?" Danjuro asked with a frown.

"Not really," I shrugged. "I…just…I-I don't trust her. Or anyone from Konoha, really."

There was another quiet.

"I get the feeling that you aren't loyal to Konoha," Danjuro stated. "But that your loyal to your friends and _they're_ loyal to Konoha and you're reacting to the disconnect."

"You know," I said with a frown. "You're probably right."

There was another pause as we both reflected on the conversation.

"Is there anything in particular you want to ask me?" He asked.

"Captain Shizo told me you guys had a form of Clairvoyance," I started.

"That is correct," Danjuro nodded. "All penguin elders do."

"Then why didn't you use it to find out how the war started?" I asked with a frown.

Danjuro chuckled. "Unfortunately, our sight…our abilities to see, is not controlled. What we see is random. We achieve a great amount of wisdom was we see through the cosmos, but the likelihood of what we see being applicable to our daily lives is…negligible. But we did try. We _did_ try."

I sighed. "That makes sense."

"Now in regards to your girl trouble," Danjuro said, standing up. "I think you know someone that can help you a lot more than I can."

 _Ichiraku Ayame_. "I think you're right."

* * *

 _Quest Updated: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _Completed: Speak with the Penguin Elder._

 _Go speak with the Penguin Emperor and claim the Penguin Summoning Contract._

"Do you think he is deserving?" The Penguin asked the assorted crowd.

Cheers. They most _certainly think_ that I'm deserving of this honor. And power up. You know, given the Penguin Elder's sight, they might happen upon Sage Mode at one point. I hope. I mean, that was called the thing that sent Naruto into 'DBZ' territory, and while I never saw DBZ, I _did_ see the abridged series and I got to say…I'm a little disappointed the Penguins don't have it. Oh well. At least I got some awesome gear.

 _Edgelord Bleedingrazor 9000_.

That's all I got to say right there.

"Then with the approval of the Empire, I command the bestowal," The Emperor _loved_ to play the crowd, I've found. He was good at it, too. "Of the summoning scroll on Shimoda Daisuke, _our newest summoner!_ "

Yujiro brought the scroll and unfurled it. There was only two names that I could see before Yujiro rolled it up slightly, so only the space for my own hand was shown.

"Sign the scroll in your blood," The Emperor commanded. "And place your fingerprints upon it!"

I took my gun out. The edges of its _barrel_ were still pretty sharp, so I took off my glove and sliced open my palm.

 _-1 hp._

Yujiro provided a brush and I signed my name. Then with blood all over my fingertips, I placed them each above my signed name. With that done, I took a gulp of _Nutriwater_ (patent pending) and the cut sealed itself up. I quickly slid my gauntlet back into place and the sound of cheers echoed in the palace.

 _Completed: A Stranger in a Strange Land._

 _+2400 EXP._

5045 more EXP until level 22.

"Now, there are rules, Shimoda," The Emperor said to me. "The only Penguins you are allowed to summon right now are the members of Squad 3."

"Works for me," I replied with a nod.

"And you are only allowed to summon me _once_ a year," The Emperor raised his flipper to make his point. "Once. As in, once you summon me, you must wait a whole year before you attempt to summon me again. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Emperor-sama," I nodded rapidly. "I understand completely."

"Good," The Emperor said. "May the Ice ever speed your way, Daisuke. Farewell."

"Goodbye, Emperor," I said with a bow before leaving via _Flying Thunder God_.

…the seal was active.

There was no-one else in my apartment.

My clone was ready for switch…we swapped.

I got out of bed. Started pacing. Frowning. Waiting for the ceiling to collapse in, for the Hokage to come crashing through and demanding to know what I had been doing. What I was doing. Whether I was trying to circumvent him, and I was, and how loyal I was. Really.

But nothing happened.

My clone popped, the cylinder crashing to the floor, still invisible until I went to retrieve it.

Nothing happened.

 _I had gotten away with it_.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: And that's that. That's all she wrote, we are done, this conversation between the Elder and Daisuke was something I_ needed _to happen in this fic. I needed it to happen and it_ happened. _The chapter_ wrote itself _and it was_ incredible _. I know there may have been some hope for his friends to be the first ones to find out, but…Daisuke needed something, someone, away from_ everything _going wrong in his life to get some outside perspective. He didn't even realize this was something he needed, but he did. Whether or not he takes Danjuro's council or not is still up in the air, but it was stuff he needed to hear._

 _After this, I think I'm going to stick with personal happenings and character development for a while. Plot…plot needs to happen, but I think I threw off a few people by moving things forward by a few months_ right _after the Organ Trail and dynamics shifted. Not a lot, but enough that people went '_ wait, what happened?' and I feel like exploring it in more detail.

 _As usual, if you liked or disliked it, let me know and I will do my best to listen._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	42. Interlude: Questions and Advice

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Kakashi was actually starting to become pleasantly surprised.

"I don't know what I'd do," Daisuke shrugged with a frown. "Honestly, I'd charge the big guy to stop him from rushing the team. Hisako? Nichiren? Any suggestions?"

The scenario was simple. It was an infiltration mission and their cover was blown when the three of them are discovered by another Shinobi Team. A large, heavily muscled man with an equally giant sword, a skinning man with long flowing robes and a shinobi covered from head to toe. Combat, Jutsu and Stealth specialists. Pretty even mix.

"Eh, If you could, I'd say rush their back-line and force the big guy to pay attention to you," Nichiren replied with a frown.

"Wouldn't that leave you guys open, if he does the same thing, though?" Daisuke asked with a frown.

It was also starting to surprise him how _expressive_ Daisuke was becoming. It still wasn't anything close to particularly normal, but he was getting closer to actually _human_ with every power spike. It actually made him quite happy, not that he'd ever let them know that.

"Not necessarily," Hisako shrugged. "Since this is an infiltration mission, they'd probably be surprised to find us, giving us the preparation advantage."

"Besides, if he rushes us when you rush them, that leaves it two on one," Nichiren nodded with a sense of finality. "It also leaves _you_ in that position, but it's not like it takes you long to dispatch a target."

"This is true," Daisuke replied. "Alright, I charge the backline, Sensei."

"Who's your target?" Kakashi asked.

"The stealth specialist," Daisuke replied. "Jutsu's are dangerous and all, but they take time to cast and the most danger I was ever in was because a stealth specialist shanked me from behind. I'm not taking my eyes off of him until he's dead."

And so, the lesson went. Daisuke had seemingly learned the ever-important lesson of relying on your teammates to patch the holes in your skill-set and use them to improve. Hisako and Nichiren had used him to train their Taijutsu ever-since they were put on a team together and now, with tactics and strategy, Nichiren and Hisako can repay the favor. It almost brought a tear to Kakashi's eye.

But eventually, the lesson was concluded and they started combat training. Not just one field, but combat in general. His Genin were at a point where just training one specific field didn't help them as much as it did to start tying all of their unique skills into a cohesive whole. Hisako and Nichiren sparred and that left him to sparring with Daisuke.

Sparring with Daisuke, as had become expected, was becoming increasingly difficult. If Kakashi had to guess, he would say that his Genin had broken from the mid B-rank Shinobi that he was to high A-rank since their C-rank mission. To be expected, really.

It was _disgusting_ to Kakashi that Daisuke's bloodline flat-out rewarded him for going off on his own. All the kills Daisuke had scored in the sewers had made him significantly more powerful indeed, but that encouraged Daisuke to hog all of the combat to himself and was utterly antithetical to teamwork. In all honestly, Kakashi felt a little foolish that Daisuke himself had to point out his problem, as the emphasis on teamwork was going against Daisuke's _very nature_.

Little wonder that, prior to the that, he seemed extraordinarily resistant to the tactics that he, himself, had asked for.

But now, something had changed. He was asking his teammates for advice. Somewhat reluctantly, like he was afraid of the answer, but he did. It was still clearly Daisuke, they all knew that. The sparring revealed that in his blocks and counters, the erratic and unpredictable fighting style that was almost impossible to copy without the Sharingan. But something had changed.

He wasn't sure what it was. But he liked it. Because now Daisuke was _trying_. It made him happy.

Of course, he still had much to learn and Kakashi felt the need to point this out. So, when Daisuke made to punch Kakashi in the head, Kakashi ducked and jumped backwards. _Earth Release: Four Crushing Pillars!_

It was Daisuke's own jutsu, made as a spectacle piece for all of the clan heirs. Daisuke looked alarmed as the four pillars rose up from the ground and rushed to him, successfully pinning him before he could do anything.

Kakashi had only guessed at the name. He wasn't even sure Daisuke _named_ his jutsu, for he was always silent when casting them. But that was the end of the sparring match, as Kakashi brought his hand up. "That's the end of it."

Daisuke groaned in irritation and broke the pillars into a thousand different pieces with what he assumed was a modified version of his exploding punches. Kakashi himself had only seen it in Tsunade of the Sannin before, but was entirely glad that Daisuke had cracked it – he suspected that it was what kept Daisuke alive through all the danger he's faced.

"You copied my jutsu?" Daisuke looked _annoyed_. None of the hurt that usually came with copying a friends jutsu, just annoyed.

"Well," Kakashi gave him an eye-smile. "You can't expect me to ignore a source of expertly prepared jutsu, can you?"

Daisuke sighed. "I guess not."

"It's just another way to rely on my team," Kakashi continued, wrapping an arm around his should. "Strategy."

"It makes sense, Sensei," Daisuke replied with a frown. "It's just annoying, is all. How many jutsu have you copied from me?"

"Not a lot," Kakashi replied. "None of the mixed element types, certainly. If you don't mind me asking, how, uh…long, have you been able to mix elements like that?"

Because that was valuable. It was so valuable, it had the Hokage shaking in his seat and salivating all over his pipe. Metaphorically, of course.

"Not too long," Daisuke shrugged. "It's not the only one I'll be able to use either."

"Will you be able to use Wood Release?" Kakashi asked, so thoroughly done questioning the over powered nature of Daisuke's bloodline and just going with the flow.

"Probably," Daisuke shrugged. "Should I?"

" _Yes_ ," Kakashi nodded vigorously. "Yes, you absolutely should."

"Okay," Daisuke nodded. " _Why_?"

Kakashi blinked. "Why are you asking?"

"Because I'm unsure of what Wood Release does that can't be done better by other bloodlines," Daisuke shrugged with a frown. "Earth-release takes care of barriers, Storm-release can eliminate _pretty much_ anything and water element takes care of stealth, if I got my guess right...I'll need to verify that later, actually…"

Kakashi took a breath as Daisuke trailed off into his own thoughts. "…I'm guessing you don't care about how the Shodai Hokage forested the entire land of fire?"

"Not in the slightest," Daisuke frowned. "I prefer to burn things down, not build them up."

"If the mission calls for a hostage, wood release can grab and restrain the target," Kakashi stated, almost entirely sure that wouldn't be _quite_ what he wanted to hear since, after all, Daisuke thrives on bringing about death.

"So can Earth Release…" Daisuke blinked. "Oh. Heh, might as well."

"You should talk to the Hokage about this," Kakashi nodded, again pleasantly surprised. "He knows about every element release seen in the elemental nations."

"I don't think he'd have time to see me whenever I had a question," Daisuke frowned, folding his arms.

"He has time," Kakashi replied. "He'll _make_ time."

"Do I have too?"

"You do now, yes."

* * *

"So, he's started _asking_ us what we think," Nichiren said before slurping down some noodles. "Like, legitimately. Then he listens! Or at least he tries. Did you say anything to him?"

"No," Ayame shook her head with an intrigued look on her face. "Sounds like he's making some changes, though."

"Good ones," Nichiren agreed with a nod. "I wonder what finally got through to him."

"Maybe he's just learning?" Ayame said with a smile.

"You know what? I think that's it," Nichiren was smiling too. "I didn't think it's possible, but he's actually learning."

It was late in the afternoon. Save for Nichiren and Ayame, the ramen stand was empty. Nichiren would forever be grateful that he glimpsed the Hokage and Naruto walking out of it all of those months ago. He got the location for the _best_ ramen in Konoha and made a _fantastic_ friend in Ayame, someone to bounce ideas off of, talk about his teams increasingly functional dynamics with, among other things.

"Nichiren-senpai?" Nichiren looked up with a mouthful of noodles and saw Yamanaka Ino, having _just_ came out of a bow of greeting with her hands folded in front of her.

Nichiren slurped the noodles in. "Ino-chan. What can I do for you?"

"Well," Ino took a seat. "I just had a question. Or two."

"Sure," Nichiren nodded. "Ino, this is Ichiraku Ayame, she could probably help out too."

"Nice to meet you, Ino-chan," Ayame respectfully bowed to her new patron. "Can I get you anything?"

Ino looked over her choices on the menu above. "Can I get a bowl of the miso?"

"That'll be fifty ryo," Ayame replied and upon taking the correct amount, she dished up her customer's bowl. "Enjoy."

"Thank you," Ino nodded, breaking her sticks and taking a noodle-full into her mouth. Her eyes went wide as the taste of divine noodles hit her tongue. She quickly finished the mouthful and turned toward her server. "This is amazing!"

"Thank _you_ ," Ayame smiled. "It's our family recipe."

"It's delicious," Ino chirped happily. "Have you had any Akimichi customers?"

"Nope," Ayame shook her head with a smile. "I suppose it's for the best, though. I don't think they'd ever stop bothering Dad for it once they've had some."

"No kidding," Ino said with a smile.

"It's pretty good," Nichiren replied. "So what was your question?"

Ino took a moment to savor the mouthful as well as consider what she wanted to ask. She swallowed the noodle goodness before she opened her mouth to speak. "Are Hisako and Daisuke an item?"

"Nope," Nichiren felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as a new sense of wariness. Powerful though his friend was, he had no skill at politics and potential exploitation of that was to be guarded against. "You have an interest?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" Ino asked with a frown. "He saved my life, _twice_ if you count disinfecting my arm after it was dragged through the muck, he's loyal to the point where he dove into a dangerous situation to save Naruto and his jutsu are _awesome_."

Nichiren mulled over this, his face still neutral. The first two reasons sounded sincere and were _good_ reason to have an interest in someone. It was the third one that made that feeling of wariness increase. Daisuke was politically valuable and Nichiren didn't know the clans well enough to gage whether this was some kind of ploy. There was also Hisako to consider. She had made her interest clear to both boys and she was equally Nichiren's friend.

"He…just hasn't noticed," Ino sighed deeply. "Simply _flirting_ just goes over his head and while I respect Hisako-senpai _deeply_ …I want Daisuke-senpai for myself."

"Well, the first thing you need to know, and don't take this the wrong way," Nichiren started. "Daisuke's disdain for politics is only matched by his inability to participate. So if you got put up to this…I'd back off."

Ino blinked and frowned slightly. Then she sighed. "I suppose the suspicion is fair…but you should know that I hold all six of you, Cell 13 and Cell 9, in the highest regard. I'd _never_ try to manipulate any one of you for personal of familial gain. That would be very poor thanks for saving my life."

Nichiren actually felt a little guilty. "Sorry, Ino-chan. I didn't mean to accuse you of being _ungrateful_ , I'm just looking out for Daisuke."

"And I respect that," Ino said. "It shows how tight your friendship is, that you're willing to defend him. But I promise…my interest is genuine."

 _She's been given lessons in diplomacy_ , Nichiren thought to himself. "Alright. So I'm _assuming_ you want to know how to get _around_ his thick-headedness?"

"I'm _also_ kind of curious as to why Hisako and Daisuke aren't dating," Ino replied, grabbing another bundle of noodles in her chopsticks. "She's been _very_ blatant with her interest so I ended up thinking they _had_ something…is Daisuke that…dense?"

Nichiren sighed. "Yes and no. Daisuke found out about her crush on him by eavesdropping on a conversation and he shut her down."

"Can I ask why?" Ino requested, her eyebrow raised and her arms folded in front of her.

 _I wonder if this could get her to drop it like a sane person_ , Nichiren thought to himself. "He said his lack of social awareness would make him a poor boyfriend. In all honestly, I think he's got a point."

" _Really_?" Ino blinked. "Huh."

"I didn't think he had it in him either," Nichiren wryly stated. "Self-awareness is usually beyond him."

"He's not _that_ bad," Ayame argued. "He's been getting better, too."

"I guess," Nichiren frowned. "But still."

"I don't think it's that big of an issue," Ino shrugged. "But…Hisako's been flirting with him like that after he shut her down?"

"Yeah," Nichiren raised his eyebrow.

"That's…a little disrespectful of his wishes," Ino frowned, stirring her noodles.

"Weren't you part of the Sasuke fan-club that he clearly despises?" Nichiren asked with a smirk. "And kept trying to get his attention even when he made it clear of his disinterest?"

"That's diff-" Ino almost snapped hotly, before turning back to her noodles and stirring them with her chopsticks with a grunt.

Nichiren did a little dance in his head, having come a step closer to preventing an all-out war that Daisuke would be caught in the middle.

"…I thought he was just playing hard to get for the most part," Ino offered her weak justification. "I didn't think he actually wasn't interested. Besides, Sasuke wasn't really what I thought he was."

"What'd you think he was?" Ayame asked with a slight frown.

"A cool, competent shinobi who could beat anyone," Ino replied. "He's not cool…he lost it _twice_ in the sewers. Never saw him do that before. But Daisuke? Not only saved us, but kept fighting even after being stabbed through the back and didn't even flinch when part of his skin was burned off after he spent time in the giant fish-man's gullet."

"…I don't he actually _feels_ pain," Nichiren said with a slight frown. "Not physical pain, anyway."

"Cool," Ino muttered.

"But anyway, Daisuke will probably shut you down for the same reason he shut Hisako down," Ayame said, stirring a pot of noodles in thought. "And that's really considerate of him, but I don't think he should stop himself from getting into a relationship because of his disability."

"You're not _helping,_ " Nichiren hissed quietly.

"I'm just saying," Ayame shrugged. "I think that once he turns Chunin he should suck it up and ask either Ino or Hisako on a date."

"Preferably me," Ino said. "But I don't know how to _make it_ so he, at very least thinks of me in that way. More than Hisako-senpai, anyway."

Ayame took a breath. "Well, honestly, I would just be his friend right now. Get to know him a little bit better and decide if you _really_ like him or if you're just grateful he saved your life."

"But I do like him," Ino protested.

"What do you have in common?" Ayame asked with a raised eyebrow.

Ino grumbled again, turning to her noodles. "I don't know, that's why I want to date him."

"Fair enough," Ayame shrugged, turning a burner up. "It's a good starter, anyway."

"What does Daisuke like, anyway?" Ino asked with a thoughtful frown.

"Fighting and killing," Nichiren nodded. "To hear him say it, he's built himself to plunge into the darkest pit of despair and fight his way out."

"Okay, what _else_ does he like?" Ino frowned. "That can't be the only things he likes."

"He told me he's been practicing with a guitar," Ayame replied. "I think he can play a song or two."

"Senpai plays guitar?" Ino's hands clasped together and she had this starry look in her eyes. "That's so _dreamy_ -"

"Just a song or two," Ayame cut her off. "I don't know how good he is at playing those songs either."

"And knowing Daisuke, the songs have probably been weaponized," Nichiren stated with a firm nod.

"Why does he like killing so much?" Ino asked, frowning deeply. "That's not…healthy. I mean, he told us it's how he gets power but…"

"There's a specific power level he's working towards," Ayame answered. "When he gets that one, his social disability will disappear."

Ino's head turned. "So…he doesn't so much enjoy the combat so much as he's desperately climbing toward a goal he's probably wanted his entire life."

"That's the impression I've gotten," Nichiren replied with a frown.

"He's fighting and killing so he can actually understand society," Ino repeated to herself. "That's _really_ poetic. I like it."

Nichiren groaned to himself. _Chasing her off is_ not _going according to plan. Well…at least I can tell Hisako I tried and hope I survive the reprisal._

"But…Daisuke so rarely comes to social functions and I need a way to actually spend time with him," Ino explained with a frown. "As a friend, since that's likely my best way in."

"Daisuke likes it when people are blunt," Nichiren sensed an opportunity. "Best way is to go ask him when you see him. Or go to his apartment and ask him to an outing as friends. Or something."

Ino groaned. "I know _that_ would work, but that looks _horrible_. The political sharks would frenzy."

 _Checkmate_ , Nichiren was smugly nodding to himself. "So maybe you should wait until his issue is fixed like Hisako?"

 _And then Daisuke understands people, he asks Hisako to marry him on the spot due to her devotion and they end up with a family of adorable little psychopaths that call me Uncle,_ Nichiren thought to himself. _Hisako doesn't murder me for not chasing Ino off and everything is happy. It's the perfect plan._

"Well, Hisako-senpai's not waiting," Ino frowned. "So neither will I."

Nichiren mentally groaned several foul cursing's to himself in rapid succession. "Okay."

"So, it sounds like you'll need to run into him," Ayame nodded her head.

"Does he leave his apartment for anything not a mission or training?" Ino asked with a frown.

"I have seen him go to the bookstore on more than one occasion," Ayame replied.

"He likes books?" Ino blinked.

"From what I've seen, he reads incessantly," Ayame replied. "I've also seen him go on runs around Konoha in the middle of the night."

"Does he have trouble sleeping?" Ino asked with a raised eyebrow.

"He doesn't actually _need_ to sleep," Ayame replied. "I think he just gets bored."

 _I'm doomed,_ Nichiren thought, wanting to slam his head into the counter but refraining because he didn't want to break his glasses.

"Which bookstore?" Ino asked.

"That one," Ayame pointed across the street to the corner. "I don't know what he reads, but he's there a couple times a week."

"Thank you, Ayame-chan!" Ino stood up and bowed. "I'm going to come here once a week! Maybe more!"

"Glad to hear it," Ayame nodded.

Ino bolted from the ramen stand, leaving Ayame and Nichiren alone. Nichiren was breathing deeply to see what he just witnessed.

"Why?" Nichiren asked finally. "Would you do that?"

"I think Daisuke deserves every chance at happiness he can get," Ayame shrugged. "Besides, you and I know he's in a lot of emotional pain."

"But _why_ would you give Hisako _competition_?" Nichiren asked, his voice a slightly higher octave. "Do you have any idea what she looks like when she's angry? If she finds out, I'm dead!"

"Well, considering you're all on a team, a relationship between the two of them is the last thing they need," Ayame shrugged and turned off another burner. "Besides, he needs more social contact and I _really_ doubt it'll change anything if Hisako and Daisuke are _meant_ to get together. And she's not going to kill you. You're cute when you're nervous, but relax. From what I know, she _thrives_ on competition."

"Still," Nichiren frowned. "I don't look forward to the _war_ I think is brewing right now."

* * *

"Enough," Hiashi said, standing up. The Hyuuga training dojo had only two occupants in the paper walls, the guards being stationed on the outside. "You've improved remarkably, daughter."

"Th-thank you, Father," Hinata was panting heavily, but she still straightened up.

Hiashi, honestly, was fit to be tied. Following her abduction and fight for her life, it was like Hinata had a fire lit inside her. She _tried_ to overcome the challenges put before her now, as opposed to shrink from them in a misguided notion that she simply _could not_ do them. A fear of herself that had no place in her, it was not entirely gone, but being worked away.

He had also, on deeper reflection, noted that stating what she did well helped her morale considerably. "You've grown faster and more precise in your attacks. You still have yet to accurately pin-point my chakra points, however, and you should train to cross this threshold."

It was unlikely she would be able to see chakra points for another few years yet, Hiashi knew, but it never hurt to _push_.

"I will continue to train," She was still panting. "To see Chakra points."

"That is all," Hiashi stated. "Please join your sister and I for lunch."

Hinata nodded and they moved out of the dojo, passing assorted branch family members that gave them respectful bows and main family members that gave Hiashi formal nods.

Hanabi, the younger of Hiashi's daughter, was already seated at the table, and she rose when the two entered. "Father. I see that the training has gone well."

"That it has," Hiashi replied. He was _forever_ grateful that he was not at risk of either of his daughters being branded with the caged bird seal. The issue of twins was an…anomaly that had cost his family much. But since there was a clear several years' _gap_ between them, it was irrelevant.

They all sat down to eat. They were waited on by several branch members as they ate. Eventually, they finished their meal.

"Hanabi, if you'd leave us," Hiashi requested. Or ordered.

"Yes, Father," Hanabi stood and bowed before exiting.

"So, Hinata," Hiashi started.

"Yes, Father?" Hinata asked, still a little nervous, but not to the insane lengths she used to be.

"Tell me, have you made any friends since you started the academy?" Hiashi was merely using this as a lead-in to the real question, something he had been meaning to talk about.

"I…I've made some," Hinata spoke softly. "Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino are both really nice."

"Oh," Hiashi nodded to himself. "Any prospects there?"

Hinata blushed a bright pink. "…no?"

"Then _who_ , might I ask, have you taken to following around for days on end?" Hiashi asked with a slight frown as he lifted a cup of water to his lips.

Hinata's reply, a few minutes in the making, was muttered so quietly and demurely that Hiashi couldn't read the answer on her lips.

"Come again?"

"…U-Uzumaki Naruto," Hinata said, loudly, but with a squeak.

Hiashi stopped, looking at his cup.

Uzumaki.

This…was surprising.

"Why?" Hiashi.

"He…he doesn't give up," Hinata was bright red now. "Ever. He just keeps trying at everything."

The truth for _that_ was up for debate, but this was interesting. Hiashi supposed he should've payed closer attention to Hinata's personal habits to have known this sooner. But alas, now he knew. Hiashi found this _interesting_. The rest of the Clan Elders were hung up on Shimoda, but Hiashi had reservations on marrying one of his daughters to the bloodthirsty Genin. There was no guarantee that his bloodline was inheritable to begin with, since it may have more in common with the Wood release and _not_ be inheritable…they'd be muddling the Byakugan for no real return. That, and he was bloodthirsty with no sense of self-preservation. Hard to keep a clan together without a patriarch.

But _Senju_ , which Uzumaki was a part of by virtue of his parentage, _was_ inheritable. Though it was seldom known and never discussed, the Byakugan was _very_ good at finding secrets, better than perhaps even the Hokage knew. But this was never _pressed_ for favors, as blackmailing the Hokage only had one outcome, and that was extinction.

And, provided that Shimoda _maintained_ this friendship with Uzumaki, which was likely, and it turns out that Shimoda's bloodline was _indeed_ inheritable, they would have an automatic in. It was a simple plan. And all he had to do to set it in motion was speak four simple words.

"You have my blessing," Hiashi nodded.

Hinata's eyes went wide in shock. She started to stutter out a reply, now red as she could possibly be.

"Hinata," Hiashi cut her off. "Breathe."

She took a deep breath.

"You have my blessing," Hiashi repeated. "Please, continue to associate with him."

"I-I-I…uh," Hinata barely avoided pushing her fingers together in her traditional nervous tick. "Y-yes, Father."

Hiashi masterfully suppressed a grin. While he was partially certain that his daughter had never even spoken a word to the Jinchūriki due to her inherent shyness, she had confidence now. Well, she wasn't as anxious as she used to be. That had to be enough. It might take a while, but that she had his blessing had to hopefully alleviate _some_ of the anxiety behind it.

Hopefully.

* * *

 _Authors Note:_ Ship Happens.

 _Other than that, I noticed that some people have expressed concerns that a romantic plot tumor would take over the story. Other than being a natural extension of character interaction, I don't plan on writing it very much. It becomes a bit more of a focus over the next few chapters because it's literally the only area of politics that Daisuke recognizes, even if he doesn't see it that way._

 _Hope you enjoyed._

 _~Fulcon_


	43. Interlude: Training

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

Of all the things that Hisako had expected for her life, sparring with the academy loser to become better at Taijutsu was not one of them.

Hisako ducked underneath Lee's twin-hammer blows. He jumped over her sweeping kick and huffed in surprised when Hisako has pushed off with her hands to land a kick on his solar plexus.

"That's such a youthful counter attack, Hisako-chan!" Lee cheered in mid air.

When they both landed, Lee span on his heel, bringing his raised foot down on Hisako's face, sending her to the ground and she quickly recovered, summersaulting back to her feet.

She wiped the blood from her lip. "You're not doing too badly either, Lee."

They continued to fight each other, Hisako dodging and dancing around Lee's attacks and Lee blocking or parrying her own. Hisako noted that Lee's main problem was that he did _not_ dodge, under any circumstances. It was a block or a parry. It was the Strong Fist style at its core, but this lack of ability to adapt is the sole reason why he's never beaten Hyuuga Neji. It's not like Gai hasn't tried teaching him, but it was a little out of his skill range for now.

Speaking of his teammates, they were also sparring ten feet away. Tenten was peppering Neji with kunai and Neji was batting them away with gentle fist. They were training up Tenten's accuracy and Neji's defenses. The Kunai were made of wood and were blunted, but the principle was the same. Watching from the side-lines was Gai-sensei, who had that twinkle of self-satisfaction that Hisako had become accustomed to since she had started training with Lee.

After several minutes of this, Gai called for a halt. Hisako had sweat pouring down her face and onto her shirt and she took a swig from a water canteen.

"That's enough training for today!" Gai said to each of them. "You're all doing fantastically! Keep fanning the flames of your youth and you'll be unstoppable!"

Hisako, honestly, was completely happy to train with Cell 9. She was ecstatic when Kakashi-sensei had given her permission to train with them and even more ecstatic when Gai had agreed to let her train with his team. It was only once or twice a week, but Lee was always ready for more training afterwards, which made for a _very_ happy girl.

"So, Lee-kun," Hisako started, taking another swig, having zipped up her jacket because her shirt was soaked with sweat. "Do you think your team's going to enter the Chunin exams?"

"I'm afraid not, Hisako-chan," Lee answered with a sheepish look. "Gai wants to keep us training for another six months to be sure we're ready."

"I think it's a smart move," Tenten said, walking up to them. "The couple times the exams were being held here, I heard that half the applicants died during the second part."

"How'd they die?" Hisako asked with a frown.

"I don't _know_ , but given how often ninja are supposed to kill each other," Tenten shrugged. "It's easy to guess. How about you, you think you're heading into the Chunin exams?"

"We'd be crazy if we didn't," Hisako replied with a self-assured grin. "With how much we've been through, I wouldn't be surprised at all if we were fast-tracked to Jounin."

"It's certainly possible," Gai-sensei chimed in, flashing his winning smile. "Keep your youthful training up and you'll soon be training your own team of youthful Genin!"

Hisako blinked in the harsh glint of Gai's smile. "Thank you for the vote of confidence, Gai-sensei."

Of course, if anyone was going to get fast-tracked at all, it would be Daisuke…Hisako shook her head. She was cooling down from training, now was not the time to be thinking of her crush/milestone/frustration generator.

She could see that Neji wanted to say something, but Hisako ignored him. "So, Tenten? You have different styles of kunai, right?"

"We do," Tenten nodded, tilting her head slightly. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well," Hisako took out her two kunai. "When I'm out in the field, I _prefer_ to use these kunai in melee, tipped with poison. But the thing is, they're not really _meant_ for dedicated melee, they're more explosive-note-delivery than anything and I've gotten good enough with my senbon that I don't _need_ to throw kunai anymore and I was wondering if you had anything _meant_ for melee."

Tenten hummed. "Yeah, we have a few things that you might like. Come by the shop later, I'll show you what I've got."

"Thanks," Hisako smiled.

"No problem," Tenten replied.

Hisako had, surprisingly for her, gotten quite friendly with the weapon smith as she had started purchasing senbon from her store. Once they had both gone through a horrifically traumatic experience together and Hisako saw that Tenten wasn't just a saleswoman with a friendly face that was out for all her crush/milestone/frustration generator's money, and they quickly became friends out of their mutual respect for senbon, kunai and combat.

She was also reasonably sure Tenten had a slight crush on Nichiren which made Hisako's inner romantic go _squeee_! Better than Neji, who she may, perhaps, possibly also like. Nichiren needed someone who could help his surprising levels of cynicism. Not that Tenten was necessarily a ray of sunshine, but that was actually a good thing. Realism is better than optimism.

"Hisako-chan," Neji began. "If I may ask a question?"

 _At least he's being polite._ "What is it, Neji-kun?

"Uzumaki Naruto is a friend of Shimoda Daisuke. Kun. Right?" Neji asked with a frown. Out of the corner of her high, she saw Gai get serious for just a brief moment. "And has been for quite a long time, yes?"

"Yeah," Hisako nodded. It wasn't necessarily a secret to anyone that Naruto had the coveted position of Daisuke's best friend. It actually brought Hisako no end of satisfaction to know that all the clan heads and their kids were kicking themselves for not trying to befriend him sooner. "Why do you ask?"

"I was wondering if either of them had said anything about…what happened in the sewers," Neji said, still frowning. "About the orange chakra that Uzumaki was pouring out after Daisuke was attacked?"

"Nope," Hisako shook her head a single time. "Naruto still has no idea and Daisuke shuts down anyone that asks."

Daisuke had _emphatically_ told her that he would not, under any circumstances, explain it because it was an S-class secret and he wanted to keep his head, surprisingly. Since she wanted him to keep his head too, she refrained from asking about it.

"He shut's anyone down?" Neji repeated, eyes narrowing. "Why?"

"S-class secret, apparently," Hisako shrugged. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because," Neji looked to the side. "I…with my Byakugan, I saw-"

"Neji-kun," Gai-sensei put his hand on Neji's shoulders. "Here, how about we go for a walk and you can tell me everything and we can talk about it, alright?"

Neji blinked. "Alright."

 _Yup, S-class secret,_ Hisako thought with a mental shake of the head. It was a clumsy handling of someone who was about to spill something sensitive, but that wasn't too surprising, given that Gai had a lot of trust for his students. She was used to it, though, her parents were Anbu and couldn't tell her _anything_ about what happened on their missions beyond vague hints that they ran operations within Cloud and Earth borders, respectively.

"…so, it really is an S-class secret?" Tenten asked with a frown.

"Yup," Hisako nodded. "So I wouldn't go asking about it if I were you."

"Of course not!" Lee balked with a deep frown. "Such secrets are only kept if they are absolutely vital to the safety of the village! Asking about them would be horribly un-youthful!"

Hisako smiled. _Never change, Lee. Never change._

* * *

On the bottom of the world, deep in the Frozen seas, the Emperor of Penguin-kind swam through the tunnels of ice beneath his own palace. They were large enough for him and his subjects, so his passing did little to discourage others going on their way, no matter how little they would actually mind it.

He was on his way to see his Court Jester, who was currently working on some special project to present to the court. It would be a welcome distraction from the mess of politics that had laid itself upon his beak. Apparently, the Fish Diplomats were eaten by Sharks who were _quite_ upset at the Penguins disregard for the natural order and they had apparently been killed in the war a long time ago, so asking for justice to be dispensed was futile. As far as the Emperor was concerned, however, the Shark's would only send their most influential members to show how committed they were to this alliance and that those sharks were now being hid in waters to the far north. Plans to find them and assassinate them were on the table, but only after this new treaty was settled and the peace was proven to be lasting.

The Emperor broke water in the throne room, and the gathered assembly bowed.

"Greetings, loyal subjects," The Emperor raised his flipper to raise his subjects. "I understand efforts to rebuild Blackfoot Island, the Fairy Archipelago and to scout out Rock Hopper Peninsula are going smoothly. Understandably, our allies are hesitant to assist in liberating Rock Hopper Peninsula from the Squids, but as we strengthen our ties to them, we will force their hand."

There was a time when the Penguins had thought that they were facing four enemies instead of three, when the Squids had risen up and captured the Peninsula, savaging any and all in the waters around them. But…they had remained content to hold Rock Hopper Island and had attacked Sharks and Sea Lions in equal measure and the Squids remained unassailable through their flexibility and difficulty to kill.

"Well done to all those involved, our hopes go with them," The Emperor said. "Now, before we move on to the typical matters of court, Yujiro! I understand you have something for us!"

"I do have something for the court, My Lord Emperor," Yujiro bowed once again. He cleared his throat. "Listen well, all of you. In the years before the war and the years during, our old enemies, the Sea Lions, had made us the subject of many a tall tale."

The penguins of the court leaned in in interest.

"They called us 'Prinnies' and painted us as monsters with sticks for legs and demon's wings upon our backs, as dolls sewn to capture the souls of the evil and foul," Yujiro shouted dramatically, waving his fin around in emphasis of his words. "That throw themselves at the enemy and explode to kill as many innocent as we could!"

"They also had us say 'dood' a lot in stories meant for children," Yujiro also explained in a complete departure from the dramatic tone he had built up. "So, I have _brought their stories to life_! I give unto you, if it pleases the court…the Prinnie!"

Yujiro held up a small doll, stitched together with black and bleached shark-leather, a beak made from Ivory. Instead of the usual clawed feet, it had twin peg-legs. Its eyes were wide, also made of the leather, comically so. The wings on its back were tiny, unlikely to instill any amount of fear in anyone at all. It was a complete mockery of the tall tales spun by the Sea Lions.

The Emperor blinked. Not once, not twice, but three times before he spoke. "I assume it explodes?"

"Yes, it does!" Yujiro was grinning happily. "I can demonstrate if it pleases his excellency?"

"Proceed," The Emperor replied with a wave of his flipper.

Yujiro pulled on a string in the Prinnies back and threw it to an empty patch of ice. The string itself started to pull itself back in and was half way-done when it hit the ice and almost back to where it started when it slid into the wall. A second passed.

"Dood!" The sound was almost like the note of a flute or a clarinet, high pitched and short. It also reminded him of a child's voice, repeating something that he had found to be funny in a cutesy way. Then it exploded in a shower of confetti and sparks.

After a moment, the Emperor started to chuckle, then laugh. Then the rest of the room joined in and the room echoed with raucous laughter. "Oh, Yujiro! You are the only one that would think of weaponizing the tall tales of our enemies."

"That was the non-lethal firework," Yujiro smirked happily. "I've got actually lethal ones too."

"I command that our troops be trained in the use of these Prinnies!" The Emperor said, the muscles around his beak tied into a smile as wide as it could go. "Should we go to war once again, the Sea Lions will have some _true_ tales to tell about us around their fires!"

"Yes, My Lord Emperor," Yujiro bowed. "I also request permission to grant our Summoner some the next time we see him."

" _Granted_ ," The Emperor said, still chuckling. "I think he'll enjoy them."

* * *

"What a _drag_ ," Shikamaru said with a sigh.

"Stop whining, Shikamaru!" Ino huffed, hands on her hips and scowling at him. "We've done these training exercises dozens of times, you'd think you get used to it by now!"

"And for dozens of times I've hated it," Shikamaru replied with a raised eyebrow. "I don't have to get used to something if I don't want to."

"It's not that bad, Shikamaru," Chouji piped up, hand in his potato chip bag that he had been allowed to sneak through by his Father. "I mean, we're getting better at them, so it's not taking as long as it used too."

They were in the forests behind the Nara clan compound for this training exercise. There were three, brightly colored balls hidden somewhere in the clearing and the team of proto-Genin had to find them, navigate whatever traps or obstacles were placed in their way using their families jutsu and bring them to a central platform. Standing in their way was a team comprised of _actual_ Genin from each of their clans, who were tasked with guarding the balls and generally making the three heir's life miserable.

Shikamaru sighed. "I guess that's true, but whatever. The most likely spots for them to hide the balls this time are the Shadowed Falls, the Lightning Struck grove, and the deer tender's cabin."

"Where do you think the end-goal is?" Ino asked with a thoughtful frown on her face, cupping her chin with her fingers.

"Assuming they don't make this spot the end after we leave again," Shikamaru said, referencing two separate occasions when their parents had done so to emphasize an importance of remembering where you started. "I'd say the Antler Arch would be the safest bet."

"Then let's get going," Ino said with a determined look on her face, starting to move toward the shadowed falls.

"Alright!" Chouji replied with a smile on his face, following the de facto team leader.

"Right behind you," Shikamaru sighed, putting his hands in his pockets as he too started to follow.

The shadowed falls were named such due to the long tunnel of wooden arches that covered the stream leading to the falls. This, combined with the placement of trees behind it meant that the only time that the sun kissed the water was at sunset, and what a pretty sunset it was. It was rumored to have been created by the first Hokage while he was courting his future wife, but those rumors were never confirmed as true. The falls themselves weren't very long either, it only being a four foot drop from top to bottom.

"There!" Ino quietly called, beckoning the other two to look where she was pointing.

Sitting there in the small stream of water pouring from the lip of the falls was the blue ball, the water pouring around it, having been stuck into the mud in the stream to avoid being pushed out. Of course, since it was there, out in the open and looking vulnerable, threw the three proto-Genin on their guard.

"Alright, where's the traps?" Shikamaru asked his two teammates quietly.

"I see a wire up there," Ino answered, pointing high up into the forests canopy where the wire in question gleamed in the sunlight.

"I don't see anything around the orb," Chouji offered, sliding a chip into his mouth and delighting in the crunch in his mouth.

Shikamaru steepled his fingers. "I think Yukako is the one in charge of this ball."

"She doesn't usually use traps though," Ino frowned, folding her arms.

"The wire's a decoy," Shikamaru explained, his brow furrowed. "To get us thinking it's either Takiji or Mitsuhide and catch us unawares. Or we could simply be unable to see the other wires from our angle at it really is Takiji or Mitsuhide, but for some reason, I doubt it."

Yukako, Takiji and Mitsuhide were the team of Genin in charge of keeping guard of the balls.

"I think we should circle the clearing," Ino said with a frown. "See if we can find any other traps."

"I'll follow your lead," Shikamaru made being bored into an art-form.

The three, using the tree-walking technique that only Shikamaru had to be taught in the weeks following the sewer incident, they orbited the shadowed falls, looking for any hint of a trap or perhaps for Nara Yukako, who like all Nara, made approaching shadows a nerve-wracking affair.

They found nothing.

"Definitely Yukako," Chouji surmised, finishing the bag of chips and rolling up the back, stowing it in one of his pockets to trash later.

"Flashlights," Ino said, hand's going into the appropriate seals, a beam of light shining from her hand. Shikamaru and Chouji quickly followed suit, and the three kept their eyes peeled for any shadows that started moving unnaturally. In the forest of Konoha, however, that was a lot of shadows to keep track of.

The Nara, in a way, were grateful that the flashlight jutsu was invented in Konoha. Sure, it made using their jutsu harder to use if the flashlight wielding nin was skilled, but it was property of Konoha and gave them all the time in the world to plan for contingencies in case they had to find someone with a similar source of light on hand. Since it was the Nara doing the planning, that time was well spent.

Ino stepped on the edge of the waterfall, going around the arch. She shined her light inside and found…nothing. No Genin was inside waiting to pounce. Ino frowned, squinting to make sure she didn't miss anything as she crouched down to pick up the ball.

"Hey!" Chouji shouted and Ino jumped away immediately, catching sight of a small strand of shadow that had wrapped its way into the arch and watched as a multitude of strands stretched out from the arch and down the waterfall.

Up on the top of the falls, Chouji was stuck in place, his hands in a rat sign. Shikamaru had leapt onto a tree-trunk, and then further away when a shadow had started to pursue him, only slowed down by Shikamaru's flashlight cutting it off at inopportune times.

Ino was grateful the flashlight worked to dispel the shadows; when they had fought a Nara Jounin, it had only slowed it down and barely at that. Ino jumped into the air and flashed a beam across the shadow keeping Chouji bound, but the shadow was actually strung from two different places, so nothing happened.

Shikamaru jumped from trunk to trunk, making sure to never lose sight of his team like he had been trained to do. He landed on a branch and, starting from Chouji, started to look from where that shadow had come from and…"There!"

He pointed at a tree several feet beyond the shadowed falls, where the thin line of shadows had started. Ino looked at Shikamaru then jumped up the wall away from the shadows, going air-born. "I see her!"

She immediately locked her hands into the Yamanaka's 'window to the soul', a hand-sign developed just for their mind jutsu. Right as her feet touched the ground, she barked out. "Mind Body Switch Technique!"

Immediately, Ino's form collapsed and Chouji was set free. Yukako stepped out from behind the trees with a wave. "Shikamaru, it worked!"

Shikamaru was still apprehensive as he jumped down. "What's the phrase?"

Yukako, like all Nara, had black hair and dark eyes. Her hair, however, was done up in a neat bun and her face, normally in a bored scowl, was now in a very irritated glare. "We didn't pick a phrase this time, remember? You said they'd probably end up guessing them sooner or later."

"Alright it's you," Shikamaru nodded.

"Chouji, you got the rope?" Ino/Yukako turned to the a plump Genin. "We need to tie me up so I can get back to my body."

"Got it here," Chouji took a length of rope and Ino/Yukako assumed to position, allowing herself to be tied like a hog. "Is that tight enough?"

Ino/Yukako strained against the ropes with a slight frown. "Yup. Gimme a second."

Yukako suddenly adopted a shocked and surprised look on her face as Ino stood back up from her spot, rubbing her face. "Wha-how…oh. Great."

"You were too focused on the shadows to hear Ino call out her jutsu," Shikamaru replied with an analytical look.

"Figures," Yukako frowned deeply, testing the ropes. "Great. Well, I thought it was a decent try, at least. I guess I know why sensei kept us out of the Chunin exams until Suna…"

"I wish you guys could've got me before I hit my head," Ino said, rubbing her forehead with a frown. It was undoubtedly going to bruise and that'd be a _disaster_ …she'd have to spend another ten minutes doing her make-up in the morning! She had to dress to impress after all, especially with Senpai…though it was actually unlikely he particularly cared about _appearances_. It didn't matter, her pride was at stake!

"I was half-way across the clearing," Shikamaru said with a raised eyebrow. "I would've caught you if I could, but you were too fast for me."

"Well, whatever," Ino said, turning around and walking to the arch. "I'm going to go grab the balls. Keep an eye on her for me?"

"Watch out for traps," Chouji called out, his fingers feeling antsy without a bag of chips in hand…it had gotten better over the weeks of training but it still felt odd to not have a bag in his hands constantly.

Ino found the blue ball, carefully checking for traps as she knelt down to grab the ball. The blue core inside a clear, glass-like shell was interesting, and she had wondered like Shikamaru how it was made. Probably some jutsu or whatever. She carefully lifted it up and saw the clear wire that had been tied around it, hidden by the water coursing around it. As delicately as she could, she grasped the wire between her fingers and slowly slid the ball out of its lasso. With a soft breath, she jumped forward, letting the wire go and flipping in the air, landing on her feet at the bottom of the falls and hopping forward again when the water ended up soaking her hair.

It was the right call. A trio of paint canons exploded from inside the arch, two from the sides, one that had been _behind_ her and if she had gotten splattered, she would've been _out_. As it stood, the paint landed just in front of her, splashing water on her sandals.

"Got it!" Ino called, jumping back up the falls, bouncing the ball in her hand after she landed. "I'm fine, too."

An extra spike of satisfaction was heard when she heard Yukako groan in disappointment.

* * *

"I had no idea clones were this awesome," Naruto crowed to his training-mates in training ground three. "So much training! So quickly!"

Before them was a literal mob of Naruto clones. Some had broken off into pairs or trios to practice Taijutsu but for the most part, it was just a giant melee of destruction and war going on in front of everyone, the clones beating each other senseless. Naruto made it a point to create five more clones whenever he felt enough had been popped, adding to the mayhem.

"Yes, I'm very happy for you Naruto," Sakura said with irritation, eyebrow twitching.

Sasuke simply watched the display with a quiet growl, clearly outraged at how unfair it all was. It warmed the cockles of Naruto's cold, prank-loving heart. Naruto knew Daisuke was his best friend, but it was times like _this_ where Daisuke actually _showed_ how much he cared about him. It made him feel good.

"So, how've you guys been doing?" Naruto asked with a smile. Then he noticed Sakura's hands. "Whoa, Sakura! What happened?"

"Oh, I uh…" Sakura raised her hands, bandaged and bloody before sheepishly looking away. "I've been trying to replicate Senpai's chakra enhanced strength since he told me I had the chakra control for it. It…hasn't been going well."

"I'll say," Naruto frowned with concern. "You got an ointment for that, right?"

"Yeah, Mom helped me bandage them up," She smiled at Naruto's concern. It…was nice, in the face of Sasuke's constant aloofness. "Thanks, though."

"You should ask Senpai how to do it properly before you break your hands," Sasuke finally said from his seat on a tree-trunk. "You'd be unable to train, and you'd be useless."

"I was going too," Sakura nodded, at least happy she got him to start talking, but like all things Sasuke said, they were blunt and serious. "But I appreciate the thought, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke simply shrugged and went back to watching the display of the Naruto mob with his Sharingan eyes. Naruto, at least, was a little annoyed about this, since it literally meant that all his training was going to be copied and assimilated into the Uchiha machine and that made getting _above_ his rival was going to be more difficult.

"Naruto," Sasuke said, only taking his eyes off the mob for a second to look down the road. "Your fangirl is here."

Naruto stopped short, sputtering in disbelief as he processed what was just said to him. "My _fangirl_?"

"Hyuuga Hinata," Sasuke said, pointing down the road. "Hiding behind the tree over there. She's followed you to Senpai's training sessions for the past few days now. Figured you'd want to know."

"I…I have a fangirl?" Naruto looked both _insanely_ happy and slightly nervous for some reason. "Oh, man! What do I do? What do I say? Do I go talk to her or do I do what Sasuke does and ignore her?"

"I'd go talk to her," Sakura nodded, folding her arms after running fingers through her long pink hair…given how often it was getting in the way, she was going to have to get it cut one of these days...

Sasuke turned slightly to look Naruto square in the eyes. "A Hyuuga might be a valuable training partner. Why don't you ask if she wants to train?"

Naruto blinked. "I…you know, that's actually a good idea! Thanks, Sasuke!"

He simply turned back to the mob with a nod of acknowledgement.

Naruto started to walk toward the tree that Sasuke had pointed toward, his gait filled to the brim with confidence with a smile before it started to falter until he peered around the tree with a slight amount of nervousness. There was Hinata, staring straight into his eyes, her face as red as crimson.

He had always thought Hinata was weird, what with always being _really_ quiet when she had talked to him and only doing so rarely. He had figured she had that weird resentment toward him that the entire village seemed to have on some days, but if she was a _fangirl_ , a girl who admired him and thought she liked him despite not knowing really anything about him, then the nervousness made more sense and was more endearing. Still, he hid his new case of nerves behind the biggest smile he could muster. "Hi, Hinata!"

Hinata's eyes got wide and she started to push her fingers together as she muttered something Naruto couldn't hear.

"…Uh, sorry?" Naruto said, putting a hand behind an eye. "I didn't hear that."

"H-Hi, Naruto," Hinata repeated loud enough for him to hear, somehow getting even _redder_ in the face.

"So, uh…Sasuke noticed you've been hanging around for a while and," Naruto felt kind of dumb now, parroting Sasuke like this, but he wanted to be inclusive even if the idea to be so came from his rival. "We were wondering if you wanted to train with us!"

Hinata was quiet, seeming unable to speak and still pushing her fingers together. Naruto started to feel the nerves get a little bit stronger, like an itch that he couldn't scratch. He _hated_ being inactive and the entire idea that he had a fangirl was _ludicrous_. Honestly, he now was thinking that Sasuke was just pulling his leg and that Hinata was another one of _Sasuke's_ fangirls.

Hinata said something that couldn't quite be heard. Again.

"Huh?" Naruto asked.

She simply did a large, exaggerated nod instead of replying again.

Oh. Huh, okay. "Great! Sakura and Sasuke are right over there, let's get started!"

Cell 13 wasn't meeting with them today, but this was alright. They were far enough along that they could do some training on their own. This actually made Naruto feel better, since it didn't feel like he relied on Daisuke to just keep breathing anymore, especially since he had learned the shadow clone.

Hinata, for her part, simply followed Naruto back to the training ground, mutely but _happy_.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Another Interlude. Bleh.  
_

 _Uh, let's see...the Penguin section was entirely foreshadowing. Not particularly well handled foreshadowing, but foreshadowing. I got the idea by some people being disappointed the Penguins weren't like the Prinnies, so...yeah. That's where that came from. Yet I found it odd that some people claimed that the event that I foreshadowed wasn't foreshadowed. People are dumb. Part of why the fic died, originally, actually._

 _Not much else to say, really. Hope you enjoyed._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	44. The Vault

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level Up!**_

Level 22 was pretty simple. I just dumped all _23_ skill points into Ranged Weaponry, bringing it up to _64_ without bonuses. since _all of the important skills_ were already maxed and I wanted to be good at my little proof of concept weapon before I removed all the seals, trashed it and then made a better looking one with wood release, seeing as how I just grabbed the Earth Elemental training.

Medicine was at 80, and I seriously doubted I would be called upon to solve a _plague_ or anything of a _lot_ of difficulty, Luck Willing. Speech was really only used when I was attempting to convince someone of something and that…well, with how small my social circle really was, that didn't come up very often.

9,195 more EXP until level 23.

Following Danjuro's advice became a lot easier once I became hit with the reality that I lived in a Ninja village and lived in an apartment where it was easy to spy on me. Like when Kakashi copied Stonehenge. I wasn't really _surprised_ that he had, I was more upset he didn't simply _ask_ me for jutsu. That, and I had to go through _a lot_ of hoops to visit the penguins, and I realized that this would be simpler if I simply had a hideout like the Batcave or the Fortress of Solitude.

Or a Vault.

Leave a clone behind for most of the day while I'm over there. Heck, since I'm planning on going underground, I might not even need to _purchase_ the property in question or, I might not even _need_ for it to be in Konoha. That would actually be best, since that would reduce the odds of someone accidentally happening upon my hideout to a very small probability. I'll leave a clone in the Apartment, take the canister, use the water-stealth jutsu I figured out (which is _utterly broken_ ) over the past couple of days to hide myself from visual cues and the lightning aura to speed myself up and _go as far as I possibly can_ for several days.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I probably want my…let's make it a Vault. Why not show some…I don't want to say appreciation but some…fidelity to my other franchise. Acknowledge my roots, as it were. Anyway, I want to place it due south of Konoha. Like, _miles_. Not to the peninsula, though, I don't want to be too close to the land of Iron…you know, it just occurred to me that the Elemental nations are about as large as the Americas and Africa smashed together and rearranged. Just…how _big_ is this planet that summoning areas like the frozen seas can exist alongside the Elemental countries? Maybe there _is_ some dimensional tomfoolery going on and people _used_ too, in ages long since passed, be able to travel to the summons realm more or less freely. But the whole 'turn to stone' thing that Captain Shizo said…I don't think I should think about it too much until I have more details.

But I _want_ to figure it out now.

Whatever. First, let's plot out where I'm going to build this Vault.

Well…there's the Valley of the End. But that's to the North, though.

I mean, it's a _huge_ Konoha monument to the battle between Hashirama (who the Hokage had _emphatically_ corrected, did not forest the entire land of fire. I was completely in the wrong there as well, and I had seen mostly forgotten screen shots of the first Hokage so…yeah. But he _did_ create the Forest of Death and that was, as far as I was concerned, _much_ better) and Madara Uchiha who…gets brought back as an all-powerful zombie? I… _think_ that's what happened? I literally just saw a video on the internet of him fighting an army that had Naruto in it. You know, I think this setting has the most powerful zombies in the world, which is a far cry from the cannon fodder they usually are.

It would be a delicious bit of irony that the Valley of the End might house yet another monument, but this one to a series detailing Humanity _after_ the end of the world. And I haven't really heard of anyone going to _see_ or witness, or _admire_ the Valley. It's not a tourist attraction, really. Well, this world doesn't really do _tourism_ the way my old world did, so that would be why. And most Ninja are too concerned with their missions or with being _safe_ in the village to venture outside the walls of Konoha for very long. Even the Nara grounds, as expansive as I had heard them being, were still inside the village boundaries. That, and it was quite dangerously close to the Land of Sound, a new village that had arisen over the past few years because of I-know-who.

Though I don't think Orochimaru's going to be scouting that area out either, if I'm totally honest with myself.

So, if I'm going to do _that_ , what's the point of the apartment?

Well…I _do_ need to _try_ to socialize with my friends, right? Maybe…the apartment can be more of a _neutral_ meeting ground for all of them? I know the clans all _want_ me to be their political ally and I'm _loath_ to play politics. I've _always_ hated politics in games. But…hanging out with _all_ of them, at the same time? Leaving my door open, since being social is something I _need_ , per Danjuro's instructions, to do more of. That's not picking favorites if I give an open invitation, right?

I mean, I never sleep either, so it's not like an assassin can get the drop on me, though they're welcome to _try_.

Though I suppose I might be obligated to try to take him _alive_ if possible. Danjuro's council. I'm taking that _seriously._

 _Quest Added: No Place Like Home._

 _Go to the Valley of the End._

Anyway, first things first. You know what Konoha doesn't have? _Pineapples_. You know what my favorite fruit used to be? That nectar of tropical goodness, _Pineapples_. So, since I have water release, and earth release, and I need a Wood Release, that's going to be my first wood jutsu.

I had bought a _small_ pot, filled it with soil and made the hand signs. _Pineapple Jutsu!_

Sometimes, the local vernacular was _perfect_ for jutsu names.

 _Ninjutsu Check Success! 100/55._

 _Survival Check Success:26/25._

 _+300 EXP._

 _You have unlocked Wood Release._

I, thanks to the skill, knew that Pineapples _didn't actually grow on trees_. They grew in spiny bushes. It could easily be grown indoors, which is what I was doing here. The spiny leaves of the plant sprouted out, giving me the _start_ of a new plant which will grow. I could probably get it to grow to full length but…well, my Dad, in my old life, loved to garden. He wanted to be a farmer for the longest time. I always brushed it off but…now maybe I could _try_ to take care of a plant.

My Dad was a jerk, but…you know. I do miss him. Them. All of them. Mostly Mom.

Wipe that tear away, hold yourself together.

Anyway!

Now that that was done, what's on the docket for today?

Tactics training was done for today, Kakashi honestly seemed pleased and I was pleased that I could _tell_ that he was pleased. Freaking slow power creep finally doing something. So…right, ask Ayami about my girl troubles. That…not entirely sure I'm looking forward to _that_ therapy session.

* * *

I had waited until it was after dark and I was sure that Naruto…wouldn't be around. He stays up late, but this late after dark? With the training regimen that he's started? Haha, no. Not even with the Kyuubi charging him up like a battery.

The stand wasn't closing up though, it would be open for another hour. I came inside and there was Ayame and her father, talking while stirring up some pots of ramen. Then the Teuchi caught sight of me and gave me a wave. "Shimoda-kun! Good to see you, how was your day today?"

"Boring," I replied with a slight frown. "Definitely boring. Not bad, otherwise."

I can't even call awesome new power ups exciting anymore, considering how often I get them. Wood release was…okay. I mean, it brought good fruit. Literally and it was the essence of 'solving explosive problems without explosions' but…it was boring.

"Well, some would say that boring is better the interesting," Teuchi smiled. "Anything we can get you?"

"A bowl of the miso," I replied, forking over the correct amount immediately.

"Coming right up," Teuchi said, scooping up a bowl for me immediately.

The aromas were enough to make my mouth water and broke the sticks after telling the man thanks. I scooped up a clump of noodles and pork and stuffed it in my mouth with a great deal of pleasure. Something I'll forever be happy about is the fact that I didn't need to eat didn't impede how much I enjoyed eating good food. Ramen was cheap, but when it's fresh and perfectly prepared, there wasn't anything to complain about.

"I need to go put the spare ingredients back in storage," Teuchi said quietly. "Can you man the counter?"

"Sure, Dad," Ayame replied cheerfully.

"Thank you," Teuchi ducked into the back closet.

"So, how have you been, Daisuke?" Ayame asked me.

"Getting better," I answered, having already finished my bowl. "Can I ask you something? Besides that question, I mean?"

Ayame's mouth turned into an amused smirk. "Sure, go ahead."

How…do I phrase this. Speech, don't fail me now. "I've happened upon the unlikely circumstance that I'm having girl trouble."

"Did you actually ask someone out?" Ayame smiled wide.

"No," I replied with a frown. "The trouble is I'm not sure if I should or not."

"You should," Ayame nodded. "Trust me, it'd be so cu-good for you."

 _Danjuro thought the same thing,_ I thought with a frown. "The problem I have is that I don't think I really understand her enough to know if I really _like_ her."

"That's really what dating's _for_ ," Ayame replied, turning a burner off. "Getting to know each other in a one-on-one setting."

"But still," I replied with a frown. "I've known her for years and I…look, I don't understand people all that well to begin with. The fact that I wouldn't say I understand someone I've known for years is pretty embarrassing."

"Well, let's start with the basics," Ayame said, lifting the lid on a pot and taking a small sniff. "What _do_ you know about her?"

"I know she loves Taijutsu," I replied, starting to rattle things off. "I know her parents are gone a lot of the time. I know she aspires to join the ANBU Black Ops and that she's…fiercely competitive? I think? I know for a fact that she likes me…and it hasn't gone away for whatever reason."

"What makes you think she's competitive?" Ayame asked, placing the lid down.

"Well, while we were in the Academy, she sparred against me in order to get better at Taijutsu," I replied, counting the items on my fingers. "She's tried on a couple occasions to outdo my performance on missions. She also hates the 'overpowered' part of my bloodline. It lets me cheat."

"Her words or yours?" Ayame asked with a frown.

"I told it as a joke one night and she laughed _really_ hard," I answered with a shrug. "That, and she bemoaned how she can't possibly compete with something like my bloodline. She's said she's gotten over it but…I doubt it."

 _It's eating you alive inside, huh_? Nichiren had said when I revealed that I had perfect Taijutsu. Hisako growled at him in response, the same way she did whenever he pointed something out and she didn't want it pointed out.

"This is Hisako you're talking about, right?" Ayame asked, placing both hands on the counter and leaning forward on them.

"Yeah," I nodded. "You've met a couple times?"

"You've brought her here a couple times," Ayame shrugged. "I'm not sure Ramen is really her thing, she hasn't come in otherwise."

"But…this ramen is amazing," I blinked and frowned. How could _anyone_ dislike this ramen?

"Sometimes people eat food for more than just taste, Daisuke," Ayame smirked. "But thank you, we do appreciate the compliment."

"It's _good_ ramen," I replied, still frowning.

"But anyway, back to your problem," Ayame started, frowning in thought. "It sounds like you understand her _decently_ well. Anything you disagree with?"

"Well," I started, looking at the noodles and stirring them. "See, I hate my bloodline too. For several reasons. My inability to understand and communicate effectively, being the biggest reason."

It stealing my ability to reason out solutions beyond 'punch harder' being a _very_ close second.

"But Hisako…she hates it because it lets me do… _anything_ ," I continued with a sad sigh and a frown. "Basically, she hates the one thing about my bloodline I actually _love_. Like, a lot. And I don't know…as much as I hate to admit it, it's a part of me. How I see the world, how I interact with it, how I fight solutions to my problems. She, honestly, feels _threatened_ by its existence and I…don't like that. It makes me feel bad."

"Why does it make you feel bad?" Ayame asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because I don't want the only girl that likes me to feel completely inferior because of what I can do," I replied with a shrug. "Honestly, I think it's a miracle she _does_ like me at all."

"The only girl…" Ayame's eyes narrowed, her mouth turning into a light frown.

" _That's_ why I feel I don't understand her," I finished. "She doesn't have any real reason to like me at all. Yet she does."

"Well…you've talked to her about this already, right?" Ayame asked, turning off another burner.

"How did you-?" I started.

"Nichiren and I have been talking," Ayame replied. "I've been trying to help him with his…nerves."

"Oh. Alright, then," I shrugged. That makes sense, she _is_ basically the village therapist right now. "Yes. I've spoken to her. Shut her down."

"Did she say why she liked you?" Ayame asked.

"I'm not an arrogant jerk," I said with a shrug. "I guess. I mean, she beat me fair and square in the Academy at Taijutsu, my specialty, and I respected that. When I won…well, I win at almost everything. No real satisfaction in beating anyone anymore."

"She beat you in Taijutsu," Ayame blinked.

"Fair and square," I repeated with a nod.

"Wow," Ayame nodded. "So…she seems to like you because you're humble even though you've got a lot of power."

"There's no satisfaction in being arrogant," I replied, the sting of every check I've ever failed hanging in the back of my mind. "I'm not perfect or anything. But, still…I guess that's a good reason to like someone. But there's the whole 'hates my bloodline' thing."

Actually, if I were honest, that reason was the answer I gave to anyone who asked me why I liked Superman the most instead of one of those newer heroes. Beyond the pure power fantasy that I vehemently denied existing, I loved how…good he was. People would say 'but it's not realistic for someone to be that good', I would tell them that outliers exist in real life, too. Some would say 'but someone that good isn't relatable' to which I would think, _but never say_ , 'well that's your problem, ain't it? Git gud, morality scrub'.

…I'm a pretty presumptuous person, now that I think about it. That, and I'm…not exactly a good person anymore, I don't think. I need to fix that.

"That is a thing, isn't it," Ayame muttered to herself.

"I mean, I think she's trying to get past it, but…I don't really like causing someone to feel inadequate just by existing," I shrugged with a frown. "That's a really…unhealthy relationship dynamic. Right?"

"Right," Ayame nodded.

"But she's _literally_ my only option right now," I sighed, depressed. "Once my social issues get fixed, there'll always be this… _doubt_ in my head, if I get with another girl. Does she like me for me or does she like me because I'm the perfect man? Hisako, for whatever reason, at least does like me. For me. I think. If it's not one of those crushes that goes away after a while."

"I don't think it's really that," Ayame said. "I…think she's still trying to get your attention, right?"

"Yeah," I said. "She's...redoubled her efforts, but I don't think we'd really go together."

"So what you're saying is…you don't like her back," Ayame said.

"I don't think so," I shrugged. "I'm not competitive. She's overly competitive. She loves Taijutsu, I only like it as long as it kills my enemies. She hates my bloodline, I only hate my social retardation. But…she likes me. She _really_ likes me. A lot and I don't…want to break her heart. Again and…she's really the only person I can safely say likes me for me. For some reason."

"Well, as you said, she does like you," Ayame started, grabbing cloth and starting to clean off the counter. "She's fiercely competitive. She _loves_ competition, your bloodline gives her something to beat, so as odd as it sounds, she probably does like your bloodline…in a 'worthy opponent' sort of way."

"I guess," I shrugged. "That makes me feel a little better, but…seriously, she did _not_ see it that way at first. You should've _heard_ her that night."

"What'd she say?" Ayame asked with a frown.

"She was wondering how she was going to compete with my bloodline and the question was clearly distressing her," I answered. "She even told me, when I spoke to her later, that she _hates_ how powerful I am. I…guess she may have changed her attitude but…I think she's still conflicted."

"I see," Ayame nodded, putting the cloth down under the counter. "You really don't think you can look past her dislike?"

"It's a _part_ of me," I replied. "But I…might have too. She's the only girl crazy enough to like me…for me, right?"

"Well, if I told you that Yamanaka Ino _also_ liked you, what would you say?" Ayame asked with a slight quirk of her mouth.

"I would say that you're crazy," I replied with a raised eyebrow. "Have you met me? _I'm me_. _Girls don't like me_."

"It's true," Ayame nodded. "She's pretty interested in getting to know you since you saved her life."

"Clan Politics," I replied with a glare. "It has to be."

"I seriously doubt it," Ayame replied. "She came up to Nichiren and I about how to approach you. Nichiren gave her the third-degree, but she seemed pretty sincere…I didn't want to step on Hisako's toes, since she _does_ seem kind of attached to you, but if you don't think of her in that way…might as well, right? She _really_ likes how cool you were when you were fighting through the sewers and has _no_ problems with your bloodline."

"I…she's a clan heir," I replied. "Don't want to mess up something like that, probably should wait until-"

"Daisuke," Ayame said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Man up. You've got no reason to be so…skittish."

 _She's 11. Who cares if I'm physically and mentally twelve, that still makes me feel_ icky, I thought. It was at _this_ point that the _traitorous_ part of my brain pointed out that, whenever I read fanfics like _my situation_ , I thought worrying about the age-difference for a reincarnate of any stripe to be utterly bizarre since it the mental state of such a dynamic would be so messed up it would be best not to worry about it. Now, I thought that my old self was being hopelessly naïve about the complexities of this situation.

"I've got plenty of reason," I replied, pushing her hand off. "I can't _share_ that reason, but…"

 _The one person I did share it with thought I was being stupid,_ I thought to myself. "I…I'll think about it."

"I hope you do," Ayame told me with a reassuring smile. "You're a good person…you deserve to be happy."

I stood up. "Thanks."

Then I shunshin'd off.

* * *

The best part about my little black book was that it came with maps. Both the local map, which I abused horribly in the sewers to avoid back-tracking and the world map, where I could track where I was as far as nations were. During the academy, we were trained on the locations of each nation and the monuments, leaving the spots marked on my map here.

Of course, that I only really started using the map shortly after the Organ Trail really spoke of how…game-like, I treated everything. I wonder if that's got something to do with how Kakashi and the Hokage _both_ seem to be handling me like I'm a fragile bottle of toxic waste.

…I'm not going to think too deeply on that.

So, the Valley of the End was on my map, due north. After some deliberation, I decided that _that's_ where I would build my vault. Obvious land mark that no-one really visits, or else Naruto and Sasuke's fight would've featured tourists running away at all the fireballs.

I repeated the process I had done when I had to go visit the Penguins. Clone, activate canister, substitute. After I buffed him and his duration (a full twenty-four hours, now) and activated the Water-Stealth jutsu, which was perfect invisibility. It buffed the skill straight to 100, gave me a stealth-boy effect, suppressed my scent, muted my footsteps and didn't even get me wet.

It's a freaking dream. Of course, now my chakra regeneration was nearly halved. Then, I applied the _Lightning Aura_. I had figured out a Storm Variant, but it didn't make me any faster than the plain lightning variant, it just let me hit harder and made the lightning trail-off significantly more deadly.

The plain lightning variant was suitable for my own purposes. I dropped the henge to allow for a slightly smaller penalty on my chakra-regen, allowing it to come back _slowly_. That taken care of, I checked my destination and WAITASECOND.

I almost forgot, but I have Earth Release now. Mentally, I started to salivate…and maybe cry a little.

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 100/75._

 _+600 EXP._

8,295 more EXP until level 23.

A smile, glorious and unrestrained began to form on my face as I started to drift upward. A soft laugh, muted by the stealth jutsu came out as easy as breathing. When I was a kid, I wanted to fly. I used to try and think and focus and meditate, thinking that if I wanted it bad enough, then the laws of the universe would bend over backwards and let me fly. It never happened, but I wanted it too. Now…I had my dream.

I flew out the window. Then _straight up_ with Shunshin.

Oh, I hooped and hollered out at the top of my lungs as I rose into the clouds, straightening out at a ninety-degree angle, heading due north. Below me, the moon shined down on the trees and greenery, giving everything a silvery shine.

Above me, the stars shined brightly. Civilization wasn't as…prolific here as it was in my old world. That was a bad thing in a lot of ways, but one of the ways that was good was a complete lack of light pollution. Which meant the stars above were _really_ bright. Like an ocean of gleaming diamonds against the black velvet of the night.

…the writer inside me is slowly coming back. _Welcome back, writer!me. I missed you!_

Shame, actually. I had this cool idea for a _Teen Titans_ fanfic…that's the one with Superboy, that archer chick and the rest, right? Right. I had a cool idea for a fic I was going to write and post to a forum I used to post on. _Starbattles_? But then I died…eh, it probably wasn't good enough to actually post, so I guess it's just as well that I…well, that got morbid fast.

Not as fast as I was flying, but still…

The two statues came over the horizon. One of Madara, the other of the Hashirama. The two statues were built at the end of a water-fall in a valley. With that, I cancelled the lightning armor.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/6._

There was no-one else around. No one hiding, no Genjutsu, no one standing guard, as I remembered. I cancelled the stealth jutsu and floated, _yes, floated_ down to the waterfall. Down to the base I went and saw through the two breaks in the falls that it was a solid wall.

Time to get my Earthbender on.

…I'm so happy I still remember that show. It was so awesome. Not it's shoddily written sequel series, that was happily left in the bowls of forgetfulness.

Several seals and I placed my hand on the wall. A foot above my head and to the right, a wedge-shaped opening appeared, and got larger until I was reasonably sure it would account for my future growth. Behind the opening, the stone was _moving_. I think the ground beneath me was shaking as, about two feet past the stone, the earth moved and packed itself away, leaving a cavern.

But then my chakra ran out and I fell down and through the water. I quickly got _out_ of the water as I suddenly had the impression to check around me for fish-men or sharks. Slight panic, nothing to worry about. I hope.

Like a snake, I carefully slid in through the entrance and came to the cavern I had made inside.

It wasn't large enough for me yet…no, actually, it was too large at the entrance. I want it to be more like a cave? Back in Fallout 1, Vault 13 was located in a cave, secreted away from everything. I want it to be _kind of like that_.

Wait…I'm on _Cell_ 13\. Heh, cool bit of irony there.

Anyway, my Chakra's back, so let's close the cavern up a bit. I made some hand-signs, the earth beneath my feet rose, to my side, started to cave in. I felt _really_ awesome about myself, being able to terraform like this. As I moved deeper, I made the cavern widen out and I expanded further back…until I felt like I had gotten far enough back. I made the cavern it opened into _wide_ and _large._ I pushed it back and kept going until my chakra levels depleted once again. I left a large slot in the side where my first construct was going to go.

I took a breath. _Maybe Air manipulation so I can just make_ more _air…because I foresee that as being a problem down here._

 _Survival Check Success: 26/25._

With a sense of pride that I had enough of a skill to be worth something, I got to work. This was a wood jutsu. I'm going to _try_ to make a complex mechanism here, that was _large_ and honestly going to represent one of the most proactive things I've ever done.

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 100/22._

…that is the first check I've ever seen that wasn't a multiple of 5. I wonder what that _means. It's got to be a reference to something._

 _Intelligence_ _Check Success: 10/10._

I'm so glad my intelligence is paying off.

But, yes. It felt like it was fairly simple. First was the frame, which extended into the slot to allow the door to roll in. Next came the crane on the inside, which would slot the door in and out of its place. Then was the door itself, a massive cog that I made sure weighed as much as wood could possibly weigh, filling it with stones to make it weigh more to give that _semblance_ of might. The semblance of _you shall not pass_. That feeling…of a Vault.

 _Painter's Touch_ was a water jutsu, one that did _exactly_ what you thought it did, and painted things. In particular, it painted the wood of the door so thickly, you couldn't tell it was wood. In fact, I thought it was a hard metal, shame there was no 'metal' element, but I guess the magic system had to be limited _somehow_. I'd have to replace it with a real metal door at some point, but for now, this would do.

On the front of the door, I painted a symbol. A yellow series of circles with a trio of spires with rounded tops coming out the sides. It was the symbol of the Vault-Tec corporation. The makers of the vaults for which Fallout was famous for. These people…in some cases, these _monsters_ , were responsible for the underpinnings of the setting of Fallout.

Their symbol, which decorated the headband of the Vault-Nin in my notebook, was representative of everything that I was. My life, as I knew it, ended twelve years ago, in a destructive accident. I emerged from a womb to experience this new world, a world of harsh war and supernatural weapons. I, in corresponding of my nature as a Fallout protagonist, have become one of the most important forces in this world, not by charisma, words and diplomacy, but by deed and the fires of battle.

For the longest time, I had hated Vault-Tec. I hated their symbol, I hated what it meant for me. I hated the game for everything it took from me. I still hate it. But…it's not the games fault. In fact, this game is the only reason I haven't died again, with how fast I can recover from anything and everything. Like the people of the Old World, they owed Vault-Tec a lot. Not enough to excuse their crimes against humanity, but enough that they can honestly say that those vaults were the whole reason that humanity and civilization had survived in any measure at all.

I had let my blinding hatred of the situation I'm in turn off my brain – because I didn't want to think about my situation. I still don't, but...I think I'm starting to be able too. To…understand that…this is my life. This is real. I need to stop treating it as just another game, because it's not. I need to treat the people in my life as _real_. No matter how hard that is.

Which means I need to get to level 30 as fast as possible, but not to rely on murder as my method to do so. The people around me…my friends…they enjoy my presence. Or at least tolerate it. I kind of enjoy them being around, in spite of my anti-social misgivings. I need to have them around more often.

You know what, screw it. Let's invite everyone to the training sessions I hold, then hang out at my apartment…I'm going to need to make furniture. Having the friends I had over without it was bad enough, but with this many? That's just inexcusable. Besides, with this Vault I can be as Spartan as I want.

A pulse of chakra, and the door, loudly, noisily, slid open. Didn't have that 'metal' sound to it, but that's to be expected. The walkway I had built extended and I took my first steps on it…I had a lot of work to do.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Well. The time has come. This is the final chapter I'm posting on . This is the cutoff point. After this, through a combination of my panic, impatience and buckling in the face of pressure, the quality of the fic drops severely. I'm not going into to many details, but suffice it to say that money troubles made everything about a million times worse.  
_

 _Seems like a good place to end off it, has it?_

 _Some of you may wish to read after this point on the forum, but I'd advise against it. I had some ideas that got crippled, again, by impatience and buckling in the face of pressure. For those of you critics out there, you won in the end. Not ashamed to admit it. My will to write the story, even killing three seperate ideas for Act 2, completely crumbled because of your words. Some may call that weak, I would tell them to stand before a mob of thousands telling you that what you are doing is garbage and then come talk to me. Of course they are incapable of doing so since they have not written anything of note, it's why they are so free with their criticism._

 _For those of you who have read on ahead, allow me to put into perspective what my ideas were for Act 2. If you don't want SPOILERS skip ahead to the spoiler free zone._

Actually, I came back to the fic. There were these serious spoilers here that I posted specifically because I didn't think I'd come back, but I did. So there's no point in having them here. Hope you guys are enjoying the fic.

This small edit was made on 12/27/2018 and this chapter was post...months nearly a year ago. I think.

Anyway, take it away, past me.

 _SPOILERS DONE._

 _Anyway. It's going to be a long, long, long while before I return to this fic to do things properly. To give everything the build-up it deserves, to help smooth the transition between act 1 and act 2. Then to have an actual act 2 before act 3. Like, it's going to take me years. The sheer amount of bitter disappointment I have with act 2 and it's reception almost made me not want to write ever again. What everyone has read is the culmination of work from early 2016 to early 2017. I put a lot into this story and got betrayed by people who I felt were friends and at the very least, intelligent. I have come away from the experience thinking that the people I was writing for were stupider than I thought possible, and that's not a good attitude for the author to have._

 _I ended up rushing things because, well, I was having troubles. I was afraid I was going to get thrown out of my home (I wasn't, thank goodness) and I needed a certain amount of people subscribed to my Pa tre on to make it. No one was reading my original works, no one_ cared _about my original works. So, I attached it to Shinobi and sped things along to the end, where I thought it would be an explosive revelation and it'd be called the greatest fanfic ever. As you can tell, things...did not pan out the way I wanted them too. I still have my pa tre on, of course www dot pa tre on dot come slash fulcon is the address if you have the patience to write it out and want to support me. And I do mean if. As I said, it's going to take years for me to come back, if only to get over what happened initially._

 _To those of you who just don't like the idea, tough. The only thing a writer can write is what he wants to write and while I apologize for disappointing you, I must also point you to the exit. I have heard enough flames over the premise of Act 2 to last a lifetime and I do not need more._

 _I am, however, working on my Star Wars SI still, For the Empire and if you're interested, I have an original story I'm working on called The Eidolon, available on Fictionpress, the author's the same name._

 _Thank you all for being kind enough to join me here for this journey and for your kind words. They have bolstered my spirits and I do appreciate all of the reviews I've received. I don't believe this story deserves the attention it's gotten, but you've come and read and shared your delight. Really, that's all I can ask for._

 _Until the next time, everyone. I hope to see you when I return._

 _~Fulcon_


	45. Tattoo Removal

_The following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level Up!**_

 _ **Level 23**_.

You know I just remembered that I had tattoo removal coming up _today_ , so I invented a _lot_ of jutsu to fill the nearly ten-thousand EXP needed to level up. This level saw twenty points going into _Medicine_ , bringing it up to 100 and three points going into _Ranged Weaponry_ , bringing it up to _67_ without bonuses.

9250 points _flat_ until level 24.

Well, the Vault was progressing well. Got an elevator going down to the main Atrium and the Overseer's office has been starting, overlooking it. I also made the main storage room and started the corridor to the residential areas. If someone has to hide out in the Vault, I'll have accommodations.

The only sad thing about this is that, aside from the EXP from the initial jutsu, I didn't get EXP for building the Vault. I mean, it makes sense – the settlement mechanic was from Fallout 4 and I operate from on a mix of Fallout 3 and New Vegas.

Eh, I'm not really complaining. I feel like I need things _other_ than EXP to occupy my time. Right? Right?

…7 more levels until level 30…7 more levels until level 30…7 more levels until level 30…

Holy cow, I only have 7 more levels until level 30. That's…wow. I'm actually closing in on my goal. On Almost Perfect. Since I'll still have the henge up, it'll appear like I've got 10, so I don't need to worry about anyone suspecting anything by my appearance taking a sharp turn upwards because of scaling when I take the syringe.

That's...going to be earth shattering, actually. I'll…actually be able to understand people. Understand myself. That's going to be absolutely earth shaking. I…I wonder what I'm going to be thinking at that time? When I _finally_ fix the thing that's been plaguing me since I was a toddler. A thing which, honestly _should not have been this difficult to fix_. What exactly have I been missing? What details of every interaction have I been unaware of?

How many people did I hurt?

I shook my head _. I'll worry about it later_.

Kakashi's tactic's training had finally come to a close, which meant the mission ban had expired. About time. Of course, now it's a question of how long I can go without needing to kill someone to ensure the missions success. I mean, at that point, the only problem I'd have is wondering if I'm doing it because there's no other way or if I'm doing it for the EXP…man, EXP became really _manipulative_ all of a sudden.

Anyway, that meant that the Hokage asked to see me today in the afternoon which meant that it was time to finish _Tattoo Removal_. Should be fairly simple and I have more than enough medical knowledge to prevent as many complications as I possibly can, ensuring that Anko, unless I've completely misjudged the nature of this quest, won't be _too_ inconvenienced by the removal of the curse seal. I'm going to just go ahead and guess that she'll be hospitalized for two weeks at minimum following its removal due to the nature of the seal and how intertwined it _had_ to be with her chakra network, but she will recover before too long.

…you know what I just realized?

That the absolute best way to get away with a pacifist run in Fallout is to max out Stealth, Pick Lock and Speech. Probably Barter too, since that helps with understanding of the economic climate (which I don't have). I think...I might start putting points in them. Maybe sooner rather than later. Probably a good thing to do.

Doubt I'll max them completely, once I get almost perfect, it'll be like dumping ten extra points into all of my skills. I already had 10 extra points in every skill at the start thanks to having a five in every SPECIAL except for Intelligence and Luck…Intelligence gave me _20_ bonus for the appropriate skills and Luck just gave five extra points for all of them, so…yeah.

Well, actually, I have a perfect stealth jutsu already and creating a lock-opening jutsu would…not be hard at all. Actually, I could probably use the same principles behind chakra-strings and blades to just create an artificial key…hang on…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/75._

 _+600 EXP._

8,650 more EXP until level 24.

I admired the amorphous, glowing blue slat that was emitting from my index and middle fingers, turning my hand over. Well, now locked doors and chests will pose no challenge. Not that they did anyway, they'll just not pose a challenge _quietly_ instead of getting demolished by explosive punches.

I sat down at my desk in front of the window in the Overseer's office, looking over the atrium which I was more than slightly peeved wasn't actual metal. After some thinking, I thought I might've had 'metal release' by combining Earth, Water and Electricity together, but do you know what I got?

 _Acid._

Glowing green liquid that reminded me of a Xenomorph blood from the _Alien_ franchise. After some thinking, I think I was happy to be reincarnated _here_ instead of _there_. I mean, having the special system without jutsu or anything sounds nightmarish all on its own, but being in the same dimension that Weyland-Yutani, the Aliens and Predators call home? No thank you.

Speaking of that, actually, I wonder. With the substitution jutsu, my trip to the Penguin Empire, the Flying Thunder God, I think it…should be possible to cross dimensional barriers. Visit alternate dimensions. Go…back home. Back to Earth.

That'd be…amazing. I'd be able to go back…see my family, maybe introduce my parents to Naruto, Hisako, Nichiren, Kakashi-sensei…everyone. Heck, I even still look the same, if not a little pale and statue-like so it's not even that much of a problem. But I've been gone for a long time. They might not be alive or even living in the same place when I get there. But…I have to try.

You know, that's another thing. Once I get _Almost Perfect_ , I'll be able to understand other people. That means I'll be able to see their virtues _and their flaws_ clearly for the first time since I've been in this world. It's a little worrying because, once I see them for who they are… _would I even be able to stand them_?

I…I don't know. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. But it's a legitimate worry. In my old world, some relationships got sour because, once enough time had passed and the two partners started to grate on each other, the relationship ended in blood and lost finances. Okay, not blood, but the point stands. That same thing happens when internet friends meet in person for the first time and their flaws are on display and harsh reality smacks the two hard enough it leaves a handprint on their _soul_.

…let's think about this later.

For now, though? I'm going to take advantage of the stereo seals I had written on the wall of my office here and listen to some music.

I tapped my fingers on my desk, sending chakra through the telegraph seals I had written on it like a key-pad, which in turn sent chakra through the seal I had written on the wall and then my office was filled with _just_ the tune I needed I drift off with an easy smile on my face.

 _"Gimme the beat, boys, and free my soul! I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away…_ "

* * *

"You know, I didn't realize I had a twin brother," I told the Hokage, tilting my head to get a better look at one of the occupants of the office. He was pale, had a lifeless look in both his eyes and his skin, his black hair falling around his head _just so_ to give him a maximum creepiness factor. He was _almost_ as bad as I looked without a henge. Almost. The only thing I found entirely odd was the midriff baring shirt he wore. Like…dude, either wear a shirt or don't and I'd prefer it if you did. This half-way crap is unmanly. His wrists were also bound by chakra-suppressant cuffs, and his face was _completely_ neutral.

Anko was there, alright, and she had spun on her heel with a shuriken in hand ready to chuck it at me when I teleported right into the Hokage's office. But that's not who I was referring to…wait, her mesh _is_ transparent? I…wow, she's got some nice abs.

 _Don't stare_.

There were _a lot_ of guards in the room too, as I averted my gaze and looked, each of them spooked by my sudden arrival. Must be here to watch my clone. Or something. There was also a doctor, old man, bald, with a white coat.

"Ah, Shimoda-kun, you're right on time," The Hokage said with a light smirk.

"This is the Monster-Genin I've heard about?" Anko asked, easing out of her throwing-stance and regarding me with narrowed eyes and a frown. "Huh. Yeah, I guess you fit, kid."

"Don't call me kid," I replied with a frown and narrowed eyes.

She just grinned. "Why not?"

"Mitarashi," The Hokage chided, chewing on his pipe.

"Sorry, Hokage-sama," Anko's smile immediately faded, replaced by a professional stoicism.

"But yes, you are correct," The Hokage said. "Shimoda Daisuke, this is Mitarashi Anko and Sai. Also, meet Doctor Oshima."

"Nice to meet you all," I replied, giving a brief bow to the both of them. Why did Sai seem familiar? Like he was this ghost hanging around in the back of my head. "I'm removing things from both of them?"

"That is correct," Hiruzen nodded. "Sai, here, is a captured agent of the illegal ROOT organization. On his tongue is a seal that prevents him from telling the secrets of the organization. We need this removed."

"Interesting," I said, walking up to the guy. He hadn't said anything yet, instead choosing to regard me with cold dead eyes and this is like a reminder of how I look to everyone else and _I don't like it_. "How long did you interrogate him before you found the seal?"

"We searched for the seal first," Hiruzen replied with a slight frown. "It's a pointless waste of time and resources to interrogate someone who can't physically tell us what we need to know."

Valid point. "Want me to remove it now?"

"Can you?" The Hokage asked with a frown.

"I'd have to see it first," I replied.

"Open your mouth," The Hokage ordered and Sai obliged.

I was wearing gloves, so I didn't care as I grabbed his tongue and pulled it out, using Tree-walking to stick my fingers to the wet surface. I sent some chakra in there, to test the waters and found the seal. It was a small seal. Quick and clean, meant to be mass produced but had all the rough edges smoothed out. It was a very efficient seal.

"Yes, I can remove it," I replied with a frown. "His tongue will end up swelling slightly for a week and he might have some trouble eating or speaking for the first couple of days, but then he'll be able to say as much as he needs to avoid getting kicked around by the interrogators."

"Ah, good," The Hokage replied. "Proceed."

 _Quest Updated: Tattoo Removal._

 _Completed: Speak with the Hokage after you've completed your tactics training._

 _Remove Sai's seal._

Chakra-strings held his mouth open. One hand held the tongue out. I placed the thumb of the other on the seal and started the process. Disentangling chakra from his system wasn't _easy_ , but I had the skill necessary…wait, did I turn notifications completely off? I did turn them completely off.

Anyway, it wasn't easy and it took time. His mouth was glowing blue as my chakra slowly extracted the suppression on his ability to speak. It probably stung a little bit, but I doubted it was anything more than, say, getting scratched by a shuriken. Bit by bit, the foreign chakra slowly wrapped itself around my thumb as I pulled it off. The black ink became visible and seemed to cap my thumb just over the bluish-goop that was the seal.

I released his mouth and he closed it with a breath and a groan. He was breathing somewhat heavily.

"You want me to place this on a paper for analysis or do you want it to get rid of it?" I asked the Hokage.

He pulled a piece of paper from his desk and slid it forward. I walked over to it and placed my thumb on it, letting the seal fall on the paper and the chakra infuse it instead. "Thank you, Daisuke. Guards, escort Sai back to T&I and inform Ibiki that the procedure is complete."

Every guard in the room left with the kid in tow. Wow, I wonder what sort of stuff he was capable of that he needed this high of a guard…unless they were also protecting him from assassination or suicide. Oh, yeah. That'd make sense, I guess.

Now it was just me, The Hokage, Dr. Oshima and Anko.

 _Quest Updated: Tattoo Removal._

 _Completed: Remove Sai's seal._

 _Remove Anko's seal._

"So, that was just a test run," The Hokage was grinning.

Anko had an odd look on her face. Her eyes were slightly wider than normal, her mouth turned down in thought. "Hokage-sama, do you think…?"

"I do think," Hiruzen answered with a nod. "If you think you're capable of explaining…"

"When I was about your age, I had a seal placed on my shoulder," Anko explained briefly. "It's made my life a living hell."

"You want me to remove it?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"If the Hokage thinks you can, then _yes_ ," Anko nodded with a serious look on her face and…a hopeful look in her eyes. " _Please._ Get rid of it."

"I'd need to look at it first," I replied.

"Mitarashi?" The Hokage started, but she had already started.

Her trench-coat had dropped to the floor and she was pulled off her mesh shirt and my eyes glued themselves shut so I didn't see anything else. Thank you, internet-surfing reaction speed.

"I'm wearing a bra," Anko said, sounding slightly annoyed…and amused.

I opened my eyes…ah. Flesh-colored bra. Got it. She turned around and there it was. The curse seal, written in black ink on her shoulder like a black-spot in pirate lore. I put my hand on the seal and sent chakra into it and…wow.

"This…is the most expansive seal I think I've ever seen," I said quietly, my chakra feeding into the seal, _marveling_ at the intricacies and delicateness of the construction, all dedicated toward _mangling_ a chakra-network to give it more power. "It's almost beautiful."

" _It's not_ -" Anko started to snarl before cutting herself off. "Can you get rid of it or not?"

" _Yes, I can_ ," I said with a nod. "A couple things though."

"Like what?" Anko asked, looking over her shoulder with a frown on her face.

"First thing, it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot. It'll be like me forcibly ripping your soul out of your body and stitching it back in place with a crooked needle," I said, actually kind of enjoying the fact that the writer in me was coming back stronger now. "And sedation won't work, your body will likely burn through it while going on overdrive to keep you alive, assuming the combination won't kill you. Which it might. This _isn't_ like any other surgery where you can sleep through the pain."

"I don't care," Anko replied. "I want it gone."

"Okay noted," I said. "Second, this will probably end with you being hospitalized for the next few weeks. I'm literally chopping away a large part of your chakra network. You'll live, but you aren't doing Shinobi things for a long time after."

She stood, thinking about that for a while. "Okay…"

"Depending on her condition, she'll probably be on physical and chakra therapy for a long while," Dr. Oshima finally spoke. "Two months, at least."

"If given proper therapy and there's a liberal use of medical jutsu, I'd put it at three month's tops," I said with a nod.

"She'll get the care she needs," The Hokage said, still puffing on his pipe. "I wouldn't worry about it, Shimoda-kun."

"Good," I said. "So, did you want to me to get rid of it _now_?"

"Yes," The answer was immediate from Anko, but it had…something else in it. Doubt? "Yes, please. Get rid of it now."

The Hokage briefly took his pipe out of his mouth. "Let's move to the hospital first. Anko, if you'd get dressed?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Anko nodded, reaching down and grabbing her mesh shirt and trench-coat.

With that, we moved _quickly_ to the hospital with Shunshin, going in through the roof and into the operating room. Dr. Oshima actually was able to follow us. After I made sure to use my _cleaning jutsu_ , something I noticed some surgeons looking at me with envy as I preformed, I was allowed in. The operating room had a single table, which Anko had again stripped her trench coat and shirt off and laid down face first on it. She was quickly strapped in by the standing doctors so she didn't jump away and ruin the procedure.

There were doctors, surgeons, medics…basically everything needed to make sure that this won't turn out badly for Ms. Mitarashi because after this, she was going to be in a very bad way.

"Are you ready?" I asked her.

"Just. Get. _Rid of it,_ " She said.

I looked to the Hokage.

He nodded, his hands behind his back, his pipe having been left in his office. "Proceed."

"Okay," I shrugged, putting my gloved hand on her shoulder.

There was an atmosphere in the room. Tense and watching. Why…did I get the feeling that his curse seal has been something of a topic in Konoha's medical community? Like a huge, massive problem that people have been trying to solve for a long time?

Anyway…I sent my chakra through the seal and started the _high effort_ task of untangling…is that what I think it is? It that a soul? Is that a piece of Orochimaru's soul? Hanging around inside Anko like…okay I didn't get sick but I _wanted_ to get sick. So _that's_ how Orochimaru's body-snatching works. Ugh…you know, I'm probably just going to pop his brains all over the-stay focused.

I was trying to take my time to avoid unnecessary damage, but there was going to be damage. It's literally like a giant tumor that's been growing on her chakra-network, and it _had. To. Go._

Anko was trembling on the table. Sweat droplets started to appear on her skin. _Really_ wish we could've sedated her for this, but things that mess with chakra mess _everything_ up.

…loosen that there, loosen start the withdrawal…wait.

"The seals started to fight me," I reported.

Anko made a questioning noise through the gag.

"Will this stop the procedure?" The Hokage asked with a frown.

"No," I replied. "But I thought it was interesting. Because the seal has a bit of-"

"Daisuke, let's talk about the seal _after_ you've removed it, shall we?" The Hokage asked.

"Understood, Hokage-sama," I hadn't _stopped_ my work, I had just started multitasking because I could do that. But I digress…

Orochimaru's chakra was purple, which is totally the color of evil. Or at very least, the Eldritch. If I ever wrote a story with a giant, C'thulhu-esque monster involved, it would totally glow purple. I pulled, gently but firmly, on this thing and the seal started to come apart, coating the chakra like it was tattooed ooze.

Anko was exercising a _herculean_ amount of effort to not-okay she started screaming. Bummer. Not that I blame her, this would be something _I'd_ have trouble dealing with and pain doesn't really bother me.

 _Pull_.

Her arms and legs were now curse-free. That's good. Up through her lower back and torso. She was now _trying_ to get off the table, but was utterly restrained which was _good._ If I had to stop now…things would be bad. For her and everyone else in the room.

 _Almost_ …

"It's out!" I called, looking at this long, two-foot long, hand-sized veil of purple chakra.

Anko had gone limp, her breathing deep as her sweat-soaked hair hung down her head. A large piece of paper had been brought out and I slammed the seal, which was truly _massive_ , I had to say, onto the paper. "Would you believe that thing is a piece of Orochimaru's soul? Like, seriously, I almost got sick when I saw that!"

 _Quest Updated: Tattoo Removal._

 _Completed: Remove Anko's seal._

 _Speak with the Hokage._

"It what?" Hiruzen seemed alarmed.

The Doctors and nurses rushed passed us as they sought to tend to Anko who was _certainly_ not going to be doing much of anything for the next couple of weeks or so. I mean, _yikes_. But she'll survive and without that thing being a burden on her system, it'll be a lot easier for her to do things like train, push herself, all the good stuff.

"It was a piece of Orochimaru's soul," I replied with a nod. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was gearing up to take her over or something."

Hiruzen said nothing, his wide eyes staring right at me. His mouth slowly turned into a frown as he glared. "Alright. Thank you, Shimoda-kun, for your service today. You've helped a good Kunoichi be rid of a terrible curse and you should be proud of yourself. You'll be paid accordingly."

What was the traditional thing good-guy PC's did when they did a quest? Refuse the reward. Be generous and stuff. "Don't worry about paying me. This was my pleasure."

Hiruzen blinked. "Are you sure?"

"Yup," I replied. "Besides, I have so much money sitting in my bank account that I don't know what to do with. Seriously, it's no trouble."

Hiruzen was looking at me…oddly. "You're very generous, Shimoda-kun."

"I try," I said. "If there's nothing else, may I take my leave?"

"Dismissed."

 _Quest Complete: Tattoo Removal._

 _+1200 EXP._

7,450 more EXP until level 24.

* * *

Well, now that _that's_ behind me, I to find some new reading material. So, I was thus at my favorite haunt, the bookstore, where I can get lost in the shelves of literature and look for new works of fiction to read.

After completely passing the shelf and stand dedicated to the Icha-Icha series (seriously, what?), I found myself in my home away from home – the fiction section. Surprisingly bare of space-opera or science fiction, but that doesn't matter as much since I plan on _going_ to space. Then again, I guess it's not _that_ surprising since the Ninja world never had a Space Race.

They _need_ one.

I perused the shelves. A lot of heroic fantasy, a lot of mysteries, actually. I guess when the world is filled with Shinobi, stories of unravelling who hired the assassins really caught on. It's interesting that since most authors are civilians that Shinobi are treated a lot like the Greek Gods in my old world – as Deus Ex Machina/Diabolus Ex Machina that started or tied up the plot. No real details given. Since they're trying to avoid assassination, it makes sense.

Doesn't mean I'm not going write about the realities of the shinobi world at all, but you know…priorities. That's something I'm going to save for Level 50 and I can 'lol-nope' anyone that tries to put forth an aggressive objection.

Anything on the shelves…no, I read this…this…this…geeze, I've even read the trashy romance novels just for something to read and they are exactly that – trashy. I read one whenever I need a morbid laugh, or just need something dumb to occupy my brain.

"Oh, Senpai," I turned my head and…there was Ino. "Fancy running into you here."

"Ino," I gave her a nod. "Nice to see you."

Still not entirely sure about what Ayame told me, if she wasn't actually pulling my leg, which part of me believes she was.

"You too," She smiled. "So, I was looking for something to read. Maybe you could help me pick out something?"

I blinked. "Sure, I guess. What kind of book were you looking for?"

She stopped, her eyes narrowing slightly in thought. "Romance. I want a romance."

"Okay, uh…" I started. "Going to say this up front, I am _not_ the best judge of the quality of a romance."

"I still want your opinion, though," Ino replied with a slight frown. "You read a lot, right?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"So, you obviously know what you like," Ino nodded with a smile. She picked out a book, with 'Confessions of a Lady of the Court' written on the cover. "Have you read this one?"

"Actually yes," I nodded. "It's the story of a love triangle between a lady of the Daimyo's court and her conflict between the feelings for her arranged betrothal and the feelings she has for a farmer's son."

"Ooh, are they cute?" Ino asked with an intrigued look in her eyes.

"The lady thinks both of them are attractive, yes," I nodded with a slight frown. Right, she had the mindset of a shallow fangirl. "She states it incessantly throughout the book."

It was one of the trashy romance novels, written by a woman whose lust was on full display. I've believed that when an author writes, they put all of _themselves_ into their words and the message that book is broadcasting is _'I want men_ '.

"You don't like it?" Ino asked with a frown.

"Most of the book is based on her bemoaning how she has to choose between one or the other," I replied with a shrug. "When she's not talking about that she's going on about how attractive the men are. There's not a lot of plot, it's mostly focused on the emotional torment the main character's going through."

"Oh," Why was Ino slightly pink now? I…is she embarrassed? That's something that goes a long with sudden blood flow to the face, right? Why would she be embarrassed? "Well, you know, that doesn't really mean it's _bad_ , does it?"

"It's less a story and more of a portrait of an emotional dilemma in words," I shrugged with a slight frown. "I've found that to be a thing in a lot of romances, actually. If you like that sort of thing, go ahead and read it, but I don't read them very often."

Wasn't a particularly good one, but you know. Schlock has to exist, people need their fluff and everyone's got to get the crappy story out somehow. Right?

"An emotional portrait in words," Ino repeated. "Huh. I haven't heard that before."

"It's just what it is," I replied. "A story's a conflict and the events that happen as a result of that conflict."

"But this book has that," Ino said, eyes narrowing. "Right? You said she was conflicted about the two men in her life."

"I…sort of," I offered a wavy motion with my hand. "I guess it could've been interesting if, half-way through she made her choice and the fallout of that choice was explored. If she picked the farmer's son, for instance, her family would be shamed, the man she was already engaged too would be upset, maybe enough to hire a shinobi…"

"But that'd be a tragedy," Ino frowned, then her eyes lit up. "Ooh, in a fit of vengeance he hires a shinobi to kill the two lovers, but he realizes his mistake and jumps in front of the shinobi's kunai before his love could be killed, so he dies a hero and the two lovers live happily ever after."

"I…you know what, maybe _you_ should write something like that," I told her with a small smile. "Sounds more interesting than what actually happens."

"What _does_ happen?" Ino asked cautiously.

"That would be spoiling," I replied with a raised eyebrow. "And I hate spoilers."

"Awww," Ino looked a little disappointed. "But now I'm not sure I want to read it if it's not good."

"Hey, as I said, I'm not a good judge of the quality of a romance," I replied. "For all I know, this may be the greatest thing you've ever read."

Ino hummed, looking at the cover before looking at me. "So…what do _you_ like?"

"It varies," I replied. "I read a lot of speculative fiction and fantasy. Larger than life heroes saving the world, that sort of thing."

"And saving the girl at the end, right?" Ino chuckled with a smile, batting her eyelashes.

"I…yeah," I replied, my insides…doing weird…oh no.

This is like with Hisako and her Taijutsu spars, isn't it? Like, I don't think I like her, then we do a Taijutsu spar and my head is spinning for the next hour or so. Which means that Ayame was _not_ pulling my leg when she said that Ino liked me and instead of going for the physical activity of Taijutsu, which can be _really_ fun, Ino's hitting me _right_ in area I cherish most – fiction.

I…just fantastic. Really cool. Now I've got a whole _new_ boatload of problems and decisions I've got to sort through.

"So, which ones your favorite?" Ino asked, turning toward the shelf.

Well, at least she seems _actually_ curious about what I like. That's something, at least, but I'm going to have to be very careful. There was a copy on the shelf behind me, and I pulled it out. "My favorite, uh… _Into the Dark Abyss_ , by Asahara Nami."

" _Into the Dark Abyss_ ," Ino repeated the title, taking the offered book and looking at the cover. "Okay. What's it about?"

"A boat full of fisherman gets dragged to the bottom of the ocean by a sea monster to a secret city beneath the waves," I replied, actually smiling in fondness. "Only one of them survives the ordeal, and he has to use his smarts and martial ability to escape the city before the sea monster finds him and eats him for dinner."

"So, it's a book about your ideal afternoon?" Ino asked with a slight smile.

"Actually yes," I nodded with a smile of my own. Then I furrowed my brow. "Wait…you heard that line? I thought you were unconscious."

"Oh," She was slightly pink again. "Sakura told me about it. Raved, actually. Said you were really cool and really crazy for it."

"…that makes sense," I replied. "You're doing okay, though, right? No surprise diseases or anything?"

"Yeah, I'm doing well," Ino nodded, still smiling. "Thank you for asking."

"Just making sure," I shrugged. "Can I help you find anything else?"

"Maybe we can just _talk_ ," Ino suggested, leaning on the shelf which was thankfully nailed to the floor.

"What about?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know, more about your favorite books," Ino replied with a shrug.

"Okay, so what do you want?" I asked with a frown.

Ino immediately frowned and glared. "Excuse me?"

"What do you want?" I repeated. "No one talks to me voluntarily unless they want something. Ever. It's a rule of my existence."

Ino's face slowly softened. "I…see. Well, Daisuke, I'd like to think I'm your friend. Friends talk to each other. It's what they do. Talking with my friends is something _I_ like doing, so…maybe we can talk some more about your favorite books?"

"O _kay_ ," I dragged out the word. "Sorry, that's…new."

"Don't be sorry," Ino replied quietly. "So, maybe we can meet up later and talk more?"

"I'm…not really-"

"Not as a date," Ino quickly cut me off. "Just as friends. You can invite Naruto or Sakura if you'd think they'd be interested."

"I doubt Naruto really wants anything to do with books," I replied with a slight smirk. "Nichiren might be interested though."

"Right, Nichiren," Ino's smile got a bit…forced? Maybe a little aggravated, perhaps.

"Right and…Sakura reads books?" I asked. I knew she was a huge 'science-type' nerd, which made her pretty fun to discuss jutsu theory with on occasion, but I didn't know she had a fiction addiction.

"Oh yeah," Ino nodded quickly. "She actually got me interested in the _War of Loves_ series."

"That's…not a bad series, actually," I said with a thoughtful frown. Not a _great_ one, since the plot was a little non-sensible but the characters were likeable enough, I guess. "Cool. I guess we could invite her."

"And what about Hisako?" Ino asked with a turn of her head.

"I don't think she has any love for fiction," I replied with a shrug. "She's more of a 'loves to train outside' type of person."

"Okay," She replied with a smile. "So, when did you want to meet?"

"Uh…" What did my schedule look like? "I'm free on Thursday."

"Thursday at three?" Ino asked with a smile. "We can meet at Ichiraku's?"

I blinked, then remembered that Ayame had said she had come in to talk with Nichiren…she probably got turned into a regular customer by Ayame's therapy…jutsu. Shoot. "I guess that can work."

"Awesome, I'll see you there," Ino smiled, turning around on her heel.

I stood there, with just the strangest feeling in my stomach, more than a little reminiscent of what usually happens after Hisako and I have finished Taijutsu training.

…what just happened?

* * *

 _Author's Note: I don't think words can quite explain how nervous I am right now. Yes, that's right. I'm coming back to Shinobi. For better or worse. I can't promise consistant, daily updates like I had been doing for a while, or even weekly, and I'm not changing any of the central ideas of anything going forward, but I can promise that I'm going to do everything I can to do it_ right _this time._

 _This chapter is more or less untouched because it was good, still. It matched up. After this, I'm going to write out a new chapter (entirely new) detailing Ino's book club and how it turned out instead of summarizing while Daisuke was on the road after the fact. I hope it's as funny as I thought it would be in my head. Because it was supposed to be funny, I was just trying to churn out three chapters a week and that...didn't work out too well. Then we'll go on to Daisuke's Chunin exams with a few extra chapters detailing the training and stuff going on between phase two and three. After that, we'll actually go into his career as a Chunin, then Jounin, instead of rushing to Almost Perfect as fast as I can._

 _Thirdly, I'm going to start adding shout outs to the bottom of this chapter. Those people who have made it possible for me to come back to Shinobi and have stuck with me for ever and are basically my favorite people, have my eternal gratitute. These people are_ Sanne Berg, Melden V, Rohan Kirby, Hackerham, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Trevor Fuhlman, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba and Valphrim. _You guys are the best._

 _And if you're reading this and feel like joining their ranks in making me coming back to this possible, head on over t dot pa tre on dot com slash fulcon and consider supporting me. I appreciate anything you can send my way. If you can't do it, if you just don't have the funds, that's fine. I understand what that's like. I appreciate the fact that you're reading regardless and I hope you enjoy what I have planned going forward._

 _Finally, here's Daisuke's Character Sheet._

Daisuke Character Sheet –

Level 23.

HP: 470

CH: 116

SPECIAL STATS:

STR: 5(+2)

PER: 5(+3)

END: 5(+3)

CHA: 1+(3)

INT: 10

AGILITY: 5(+2)

LCK: 10

Skills:

1\. Tai Jutsu (Endurance): 100

2\. Melee Weapons (Strength):

3\. Ranged Weapons (Agility): 64

4\. Genjutsu (Perception): 70

5\. Ninjutsu (Endurance): 100

6\. Speech (Charisma): 40

7\. Barter (Charisma): 10

8\. Sneak(Agility): 64

9\. Pick Lock(Perception):

10\. Fuuinjutsu(Intelligence): 100

11\. Medicine (Intelligence): 100

12\. Survival (Perception): 26

13\. Chakra Control(Intelligence): 100

Feats:

2\. Intense Training (Luck)

4\. Educated

6\. Silent Jutsu

8\. Taijutsu Enthusiast

10\. Chakra Seals.

12\. Toughness

14\. Tattooed Armory

16\. One Handed Jutsu.

18\. Elemental Training: Water.

20\. Adamantium Skeleton

22\. Elemental Training: Earth.

Other Perks:

Nakama.

Element: Lightning.

 _Let me know if I missed anything._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	46. Visitations

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"So, she wants to start a book club?" Nichiren asked again, a look of growing concern on his face.

Why would he be concerned? It's just a book club. "Yes, she does and I'm inviting you. Do you want to come?"

We were standing at the front door of Nichiren's house. He came to answer the door and I think his parents are working at their store right now. It was about mid-day with pleasant weather, with just enough clouds to provide decoration but not so much that the sun was even close to being in danger of being blocked.

"Uh…" His eyes darted from one side to the other, his glasses glinting in the sunlight for just a moment. "Suuuure. Yes, I'd like to come. In fact, let's invite Hisako, I think she'd love to come too."

"Are you sure about that?" I asked with a frown. "She doesn't seem the type to enjoy books all that much."

Nichiren looked at me blankly and blinked. "Do you know that for sure?"

"Well," I started with a pause. "No, but I was judging based on what I knew about her and…alright, yeah. We should ask her. You really think she'd want to come?"

"Absolutely," He nodded rapidly. "She loves trying new things."

I…okay, sure. There's something going on that I don't understand but in society that accounts for about ninty-percent of everything that's going on. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," Nichiren nodded again. "When did you say this club was going to be?"

"Thursday at three," I answered.

"This Thursday?" Nichiren asked, tilting his head off to the side.

"Yup," I replied with a nod. "Are you available that day?"

"Yeah, I think we can both make it," Nichiren replied, still nodding for some reason.

"If it's not too much trouble," I added, remembering that, yes, unlike me, they have prior obligations. Nichiren has his families store and Hisako has…actually, I don't know what she has. I think she trains with Cell 9? "You guys don't have to clear your schedules, though, if there was other stuff you'd rather be doing."

"Daisuke, it's fine. I want to go," Nichiren reassured me with a frown. "I'm pretty sure Hisako will want to go too. We can head over to her place and ask her right now."

"Do you know where she lives?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Nichiren blinked for several seconds. "No, I don't…I think I've got her address here somewhere."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small note book with a yellow cover. "Ah, yeah. I know where that is."

"You carry a note-book?" I asked him curiously.

"Uh…yeah," Nichiren nodded sheepishly. "I got the idea from you, actually. You've been carrying that little black book of yours around since before I've known you, so…I mean, you even took it into the quarantine zone with you, so…"

I winced. "Uh…if you could avoid mentioning that out loud? I don't want a plague scare going around."

"Don't worry, I trust you," Nichiren replied, stepping forward and shutting the door behind you. "Besides, I saw you invent a cleaning jutsu on the way to the hospital. I know you can take care of it if you needed too."

"Thanks, Nichiren." He trusts me? That's…odd. Why would he trust me? He doesn't understand me at all. He even said so himself. Can I ask him about it? Maybe that's not a good idea. "So, has it been helpful?"

"Oh yeah," He nodded and we started to walk off. "I'm a little surprised, actually."

While we walked to Hisako's place, I was thinking. I mean, I was always thinking but that's not the point.

Something was bothering me.

Now, as far as reading people goes, I'm an idiot. This fact is not new. Almost Perfect, the milestone imposed on me by both my higher ups and my own fears and paranoias could not possibly come soon enough. But in spite of that, I'm pretty sure that Nichiren wants to invite Hisako to this book club for more reason than just 'she likes books all of a sudden'.

Maybe she'd feel threatened if I started hanging out with Ino and her friends for unknown reasons? Maybe.

I think that's it. Pretty sure.

In which case, this might just be more justified than I thought. I'd be lying if I said I knew what I wanted as far as love goes. Some days I think I really, really, _really_ like Hisako, other days it's not there at all. That could easily become the same case with Ino. But I'd also be lying if I said I was going to date either of them until they were eighteen.

Body and mind of a child or not, my soul is ancient compared to most people in this world and that's not something I can really shake off.

"So, remind me, what book are we supposed to be reading?" Nichiren asked, turning around to face me as he kept walking.

"Pole," I cautioned him and he turned around just in time to avoid face-planting into a street-light. " _Into the Dark Abyss_ by Asahara Nami. It's about a sailor whose ship gets dragged to the bottom of the sea and he has to get out using his wits or become seafood."

"I think I've heard of that one, actually," Nichiren said, cupping his chin and looking up in thought. "Yeah, I have. Mom was trying to get Dad to read it, but he's not much for horror."

"I don't get how it could be considered scary," I told him with a flabbergasted expression. I was being serious. How in the world is being trapped by yourself with just your own wit and skill with a giant sea monster scary?

"Maybe it's not frightening," Nichiren shrugged. "That was just what Dad said when he told her why he didn't want to read it. I don't know, I haven't read it either."

Nichiren lead me up the stairs of an apartment building and we came to a crimson colored door with the designation _4C_ being screwed into the surface at eye level. "Here we are."

He knocked sharply on the door and less than a second later, the door opened, revealing Hisako, sans her red jacket, only wearing the white shirt she kept underneath it. Her hair was done up the way it was normally, pony-tail with twin locks falling around her face, coming down to her chin. She looked surprised to see us. "Daisuke! Nichiren, what brings you here?"

"Oh, Daisuke got invited to a book club," Nichiren said, pointing his thumb at me. "By Ino. I thought it'd be a good idea to stop by and ask if you were interested."

"A book club," Hisako repeated, a small frown creeping onto her lips. "Yeah, sure. I'd love to come. Why don't you both come in?"

"Are your parent's home?" My first impulse to ask about that, given that we were to guys, she was an attractive girl and people could start talking about that. I think.

"No, it's just me," Hisako said with a small shrug and an odd look in her eyes. "Is there a problem?"

Then again, we were teammates and friends so maybe I was overthinking this. "…no. No, there isn't. If it's not too much trouble?"

"No, not at all. Come in, I just finished lunch," Hisako said, stepping inside and waving us in. "Sit down, make yourselves at home. Are you guys hungry?"

The apartment as about as big as mine, but it actually had furniture. Twin couches with a coffee table in between them. A large recliner sat at the 'head' of the table, looking like it had been used, a lot. Bar stools stood at the bar to the right and I assume the room over there was the kitchen.

"I'm fine, thanks," I answered, stepping inside and slipping my boots off when I saw Nichiren do the same. He's the smart one here, best do as he does.

"Yeah, same," Nichiren nodded. "But thanks for the offer."

"Are you sure?" Hisako asked, poking her head out at us. "I just finished lunch, but there's some leftovers. I got Rice balls…and sushi."

She had me. "…maybe some sushi would be good."

"Coming up," She smiled wide before disappearing into the kitchen. "Seriously, though. You guys can sit down."

I slid over to the recliner and sat down. I love recliners, actually. My first piece of furniture for my apartment, I decided, would be a recliner. I sighed in appreciation.

"You getting comfortable, Daisuke?" Nichiren asked, sounding amused as he sat down on the couch.

"I love recliners," I replied matter-of-factly.

"Here you go," Hisako said, coming out of the kitchen with a platter of rice balls and sushi rolls, putting them on the coffee table. "You like my Dad's chair, Daisuke?"

Even I'm not dumb enough to sit in another man's chair while in his house. I swiftly moved to the couch opposite Nichiren. "Yes, it's a great recliner. Your Dad's got great taste."

"You didn't have to move," Hisako chuckled, shaking her head and sitting next to me. "He doesn't mind if guests sit in his chair."

"I mind," I told her with a frown.

"Huh," Hisako frowned thoughtfully. "So, book club? When is it?"

"This Thursday at three," I answered with a nod. "Just getting together and talking about books. I wasn't sure if you liked fiction so I wasn't sure you'd like to come, but Nichiren said we should invite you."

"Yeah, I'd love to come," Hisako smiled again. "Thanks, Nichiren."

"No problem," He replied with a smile of his own. "The book we're reading for it is _Into the Dark Abyss_ by Asahara Nami. One of Daisuke's favorites, right?"

"Yeah! Yeah, it's one of my favorites," I was a little surprised about being put in the spotlight again, but whatever.

"Oh really?" Hisako asked with a curious look. "Tell me about it."

"It's about a sailor whose ships gets dragged to the bottom of the ocean by a massive sea beast and he has to find a way out of the creature's domain before he gets eaten for lunch," I explained for what felt like the third time today. "…I like stories with a lot of action."

"How does it end?" Hisako asked carefully.

"No spoilers," I replied, folding my arms.

"Aw," She moaned with a frown, giving me…puppy-dog eyes? What? "Please?"

"No," I may have snapped that out a bit harsher than I meant too.

She took a breath. "Alright, fine."

"I'm surprised you like books, to be honest," I told her with a shrug. "Didn't seem like your forte."

"I like books," Hisako nodded. "They're good for company while my parents are out on missions."

"Oh. Cool, what kind do you like?" I asked with an interested look.

"Oh. I…uh…you know, I like a little bit of everything," Hisako said bashfully.

…I don't think that's true.

"Okay but what kind is your favorite?" I pressed.

"I don't…" Hisako's eyes turned to look at Nichiren who was signaling something, but stopped when I turned to look at him. Her face had gone a light shade of pink. "I, uh…I like romance."

"That's not unusual," I replied with a shrug. "Anything you read recently?"

She didn't say anything for a minute, looking at Nichiren again, who was doing nothing when I looked at him myself. "…I really like _Confessions of a Lady of the Court_."

"I've read that one," I replied. "Not…my favorite, but it's something."

"Were you just tactful?" Nichiren asked with something sounding like shock.

"Was I just what?" I asked him with a frown.

"…never mind, it was rude of me to ask," Nichiren said with an embarrassed chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry."

I caught the barest glimpse of Hisako giving him the mother of all death glares before she looked at me. "So was there anything about it you liked?"

"Uh…well, I guess she can be sort of poetic when she wants to be," I replied, shrugging uncomfortably. The books purple prose was disgustingly overwrought but the occasional passage almost had something…pretty about it. Almost. "Again, I didn't really like it. Most of the book is just the main character bemoaning the fact that she's got two men chasing her skirt and being unable to decide."

"I…can see why it might not be for everyone," Hisako replied with a nod and a slight frown. "So, the book club is this Thursday?"

"Yeah, we'll be talking about Asahara's work," I replied with a nod. "…maybe another meeting we could talk about _Confessions_."

"We don't have to do that if you don't want too," Hisako replied quickly. "I don't want to make you talk about things you don't like."

"It's a book club, we talk about books," I blinked as I replied. "Besides, I think Ino was interested in that book too, Sakura might like it, so if most of the people like the book then it would be unfair to exclude it just because one person disliked it."

"I'll bet she was interested," Hisako muttered, looking off to the side. "That's really nice of you Daisuke."

"I don't try to be mean," I replied with a frown.

"That's not what I meant," Hisako replied quickly. "It's just that not a lot of people would willingly talk about something they don't like just because other people do. At least not openly."

"People talk about things they don't like…secretly?" I blinked. "I'm confused."

"As in, they pretend to like it so the people around them would like them," Hisako tried to clarify. "They think they need too in order to make friends."

"I don't think that makes sense," I shook my head. "If you need to pretend to like something you don't to make friends with certain people, then maybe those people aren't worth your time."

"Things would be a lot easier if everyone shared that mentality," Hisako smiled sweetly.

"That, or there'd be a lot more arguments over, well, everything," Nichiren argued with a shrug, taking off his glasses to wipe them off with his shirt. "Pretending to be accepting of something is usually how most people show tolerance."

"Ugh. I don't want that," I replied with a wave of my hand. "If I like something, I like it. If I don't, I don't. If I like a group of people, I'll be friends with them. If I don't like what they're doing, I cut ties and never contact them again. Simple."

"I don't think you can really live like that," Hisako suggested with a frown and…is that concern in her eyes? I think that's concern. "I mean, you need friends to live, right?"

"…yeah," I admitted with a nod. "Kind of. I mean, they are important but…I don't know, I was using extremes in my argument just now. I'm not going to just kill off a friendship with you if, I don't know, I don't like how you polish your glasses every ten minutes."

Nichiren looked to the side, frowning and looking sort of…hurt? "My glasses get dirty and it's kind of annoying."

I frowned. "I was just using an example. I don't actually think it's annoying."

Nichiren stopped short. "Right, sorry. I thought you were being serious for a second. Sorry."

"It's okay," I shrugged, looking around before looking at the platter.

I took another bit of sushi. Delicious.

Wait, did Hisako make this? I think she might've.

"This sushi's good," I told her with an attempt at a smile.

"Yeah, it's great," Nichiren added quickly.

"Thanks," Hisako smiled uneasily. "Mom taught me how to make them like this."

"It's good," I repeated.

"So, your parents are away on missions?" Nichiren asked eagerly.

"Yeah, they're always away on missions," Hisako nodded, leaning back against the couch. "Always. I'm usually here by myself a lot of the time. It's…quiet."

"Wait, do you get lonely?" I asked with a frown.

"…sometimes," Hisako half-nodded. "Usually I'm out training or something. Passes the time pretty quickly."

"Oh. Okay."

She gets lonely. Misses her parents. You know, I can actually respect that. That kind of mood hits me. Sometimes. Whenever that happens, I usually try to go for a run or something to get my mind off of thoughts of the old world.

Miss my parents too, you know.

"So this is a pretty nice place," Nichiren said, looking around the apartment.

"Yeah, it is nice," I repeated. "I like the set up you've got here. Nice couches."

"You like it?" Hisako asked with a smile. "Would you guys like a tour?"

"Sure," I replied, standing up with a shrug.

"That'd be great," Nichiren answered with a smile of his own.

* * *

You know what I realized?

Friends go see friends when they're in the hospital. Because unlike me, most people are stuck in the hospital with nothing to do or no-one to see for days if not weeks on end. And I'm not really sure if we could count each other as friends, but I think I should try to see Anko since she's still recovering.

Which is why I'm going to perhaps the one building of Konoha I only see if I've been reduced to ten hitpoints or less and someone gets scared. Since I can make my own blood-pills now, it won't ever happen again but you know.

So, first things first, go talk to the Hokage. His receptionist, a pretty girl who I was pretty sure was a shinobi body-guard in addition to time manager, looked positively bored. I hadn't seen her before, she must be new. "Excuse me?"

She looked up from the book she had been reading. "Hmmm…you Shimoda Daisuke?"

"That's me," I replied.

"What can I do for you?" She asked.

"I'd like to see the Hokage."

"What about?" She asked.

"Hospital visitation rights to someone in quarantine," I explained with a frown.

She hummed, looking over the schedule for the day. I wonder how long it'll take for the Shinobi world to invent computers. Will it ever invent computers with all the fighting and information hoarding, actually? That's an interesting thought.

"Yeah, go on in," She said. "He's not doing anything important right now."

"Thank you," I gave her a bow and continued on my way up the stairs.

A sharp knock.

"Enter," The Hokage's voice was always muffled due how far away he sat from his desk. I opened the door. I could've FTG'd in, but I didn't see the point. I was already at the door. As I slid up to the appropriate distance, the Hokage looked up at me. "Ah, Daisuke. How good to see you."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," I gave him the customary bow.

"What brings you to me?" Hiruzen asked, putting his pipe in his mouth.

"I came here to ask for permission to visit Mitarashi," I answered. "She's still recovering from the procedure, correct?"

"Yes, she is," Hiruzen nodded. "You already have permission, but it's good of you to come see me first."

"Oh," Well, that's surprising. "Well, thank you."

"I wasn't sure you'd think to come ask me, to be perfectly honest," Hiruzen replied with a smile. "So, I gave you permission preemptively to save time and frustration. But here you are. If you wouldn't mind if I accompany you, actually, I'd like to stretch my legs."

"That'd be fine," I replied with a shrug. "Flying Thunder God or walking?"

"Simply teleporting there would defeat the purpose of getting out to stretch my legs, wouldn't you agree?" The Hokage asked, looking at me oddly. "And…you have a Flying Thunder God Seal in Quarantine?"

"No," I shook my head. "Just at the Hospital Entrance. Though I should put a seal in Quarantine, now that you mention it. For convenience sake."

"Don't do that," The Hokage shook his head. "Quarantine is meant to be secure, not something anyone can just walk in and out of at any time."

"Alright, I won't." Darn. Well, maybe a seal just outside of quarantine wouldn't be amiss.

So, the two of us walked out of the building, casually. The hospital wasn't far. The Hokage attracted bows and murmurs of respect. Some merchant stopped to speak with him, causing the trip to be delayed. I'm pretty sure I made him uncomfortable as I didn't think to stop tapping my foot in impatience until after he left but it doesn't matter, just like him.

Into the hospital we went. The reception area had a few people. Some Genin and Chunin sitting in the chairs. The Hokage just walked past the receptionist and beckoned me to follow him. We walked down the stairs.

She was _probably_ awake. I imagine she slept for at least sixteen hours since the operation but she was probably awake now. I remember from my old life, after recovering from a surgery I'd wake up later and have only one of my parents and an SNES for company, unlike now, where there is no SNES.

Actually, I wonder who amongst my peers would enjoy video games? Nichiren, Shikamaru and Chouji are a shoe-in for a good RPG and stuff like that. Sakura and maybe Ino might enjoy point and click adventure games more or an MMO just for the social aspect. Naruto and Sasuke would probably find a new way to compete through trying to get higher KDA's in Call of Duty or something like it.

Quarantine had a pair of Chunin guarding the door, and beyond going into a bow at the approach of the Hokage, they didn't say anything as he ushered me in through the door. Standing out in the hall was Doctor Oshima, going over a clipboard. He looked up at us. "Hokage-sama. Shimoda-kun. What brings you both here?"

"We're here to check up on Mitarashi," The Hokage replied smoothly. "Is she awake."

"She is," Oshima nodded. "Beyond a hoarse voice, she's recovering well. I believe she's reading a book."

Everyone's reading books now. Odd. Maybe I just need to pay attention more.

"Excellent," The Hokage smiled. "This is her room?"

"Indeed," Oshima replied, grabbing the door-knob. "I'll let you in."

Then he opened the door and let us in. "Mitarashi-san, you have visitors."

Anko still looked very sick. She was pale, her skin an unhealthy shade of green. Her eyes had dark circles under them and were bloodshot. A series of IV's were linked into her arm and she had an oxygen tube running over her nose. She looked up at us. "Hokage-sama. Shimoda-kun! Thank you for coming to see me."

"Oh, it's nothing," The Hokage waved it off. "I'm glad to see you awake, Mitarashi-san."

"I wouldn't blame you if you fell asleep right now," I told her. "Recovery is hard."

"Nah, I've been sleeping enough," Anko said, closing the book she had been reading, the title I didn't quite see. "Can't do anymore for a while."

"That sucks," I replied with a frown. I've been there, actually. In the hospital, wanting to sleep your trials and troubles away and are unable to do so because you've slept too much. Old life, memories barely remembered, but there. "So, what are you reading?"

"Ah, some crappy adventure novel they had lying around here," She lifted the book to reveal 'The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Ninja'. "It was written by Jiraiya-sama, one of the Sannin. You heard of him, kid? Legendary ninja, mediocre author."

Her obvious condition made snapping at her for calling me kid an easy urge to ignore. "Well, why else do you think he's stuck to the Icha-Icha series?"

She shrugged. "Makes sense, I guess."

Then she yawned.

"I'm glad to see that you've started recovery," The Hokage nodded sagely. "This has been a hard thing, but you've overcome it and I couldn't be prouder of you."

"Thanks, Hokage-sama," Anko gave him a grateful smile. "Honestly, I feel horrible right now but I can't tell you how happy I am that the seal is finally gone."

"I'm sure the Akimichi are planning a celebration for when you get out of the hospital," The Hokage nodded with a smile of his own.

"Uh?" I started questioningly.

Anko brought an arm up to cover her mouth as she yawned. "I'm a regular customer of their restaurant here in town, so I know everyone that works there. Their dango is the best thing in the world. I'd kill for some right now, actually."

Alright, I'll just grab her some next time I come to visit. No trouble.

"Alright that makes sense," I shrugged.

The Hokage and Anko continued to make idle chatter that I wound up tuning out in favor of examining the medical equipment that surrounded Anko. The oxygen was regular, heartbeat stable though low but her chakra-network right now looked very similar to a _child's_ network – almost non-existent.

"Well, I need to get back to the tower," The Hokage started to back away after the end of the conversation. "A lot of business needs my attention. Daisuke can stay as long as he likes."

"Good-bye Hokage-sama," Anko waved weakly as he departed out of the door.

"See you later," I waved back as the door shut. "…you know, your network is about the same strength as a child's right now."

"Oh, I had no idea," She replied with a wheeze, laying back onto the back of her hospital bed. "I guess that's what happens when a part of your network gets amputated, right?"

"Yeah," I replied automatically.

A minute passed in silence.

"I was being sarcastic, kid," Anko elaborated.

"Uh…" I found myself glaring.

"Sorry, Shimoda. Shimoda-kun," Anko cleared her throat. "I forgot you hate being called kid."

"You can just call me Daisuke," I said with a frown. "I don't mind being addressed by my first name."

"If you're sure," Anko frowned. "I don't think we're friends enough for that yet."

"Alright whatever," I shrugged. "Just don't call me kid."

"Got it," She nodded.

We simply stood there for a few minutes…her heart rates normal…

"So…tell me something, Daisuke," Anko began quietly.

"Shoot."

"Did I really have a piece of Orochimaru's soul in me?" She asked with a deep frown.

"Yeah."

"So, he was just going to take me over in a twisted immortality scheme," Anko continued, her face getting angry. I didn't know someone who was in such a poor condition could even get angry but there we go.

"Yeah."

Anko sighed with a glare aimed at her hands. "He's probably taken over other people to extend his life, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have any other answers?" Anko snapped with a glare at me.

"Yeah."

Her angry expression immediately started to crack as she erupted into a fit of hoarse giggles that became a cough.

"You okay?" I asked even though I knew she'd be fine. That's something people do, right? Pointlessly asking after each other's welfare to show concern? I distinctly remember doing something like that during my old life.

"Y-yes," She cleared her throat with a smile. "You just made me laugh."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," She said, still smiling. "I think you did it on accident."

"It was," I answered, still concerned.

She sighed. "Oh, I needed that. Shame you're underage…"

"I'm not sure I'm your type," I replied with a shrug. "Unless you like machines, which I doubt."

Anko looked a little nonplussed but then shrugged. "…yeah, maybe you're right."

Again, we fell into an awkward silence.

"So, I read that book," I finally offered. "Gutsy Ninja, I mean."

"Oh, you did," She said, bringing the book up again. "So, you know what I mean when I say it's not very good?"

"It's not the worst I've ever seen," I replied with a look at the cover. "I thought it was…okay."

"I don't really read much to be honest," Anko replied with a cough. "I'd rather be out training or clubbing."

"Eh, training doesn't really do much for me," I shrugged. "I'd rather be out doing missions period."

"Yeah, I guess since you actually get paid after one, right?" Anko replied with a smirk.

"That too," I nodded. "It's mostly about the fights and blowing people up."

"That's always fun," Anko nodded. "I like watching snakes eat people. It's…oddly satisfying."

"Snakes?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "You have the snake contract."

"...yeah," She said, grunting to clear her throat. "I do. They're fun. Completely-"

She got into a coughing fit, cutting off her sentence. "Completely insane, but fun."

"Is that normal for summons?" I asked her, thinking of the cuddly carnivores I had stashed away in the south pole.

"Eh, it depends on the clan," Anko said. "I think turtles are the sanest, but the only guy man with that contract that I know of is _Gai_ so…I think it balances out."

"That makes sense," I nodded.

…this is awkward.

"Anyway, I just wanted to see how you were doing," I told her. "I gotta go."

"Can you come visit again?" Anko asked with a frown. "I don't get much in the way of company down here."

"I can."

"Please?" Anko asked. "You can come by anytime."

"Sure. I can come visit any time," I replied. Then I had a thought. "…maybe I could bring a board game? I think you look bored."

She snickered. "A board game because I'm bored. That's funny."

"Uh…?" I raised my eyebrow.

"I think that's the drugs kicking in," She shook her head still grinning. "They gave me a dose before you guys got here. Uh…yeah. I wouldn't mind a board game."

A DnD home-brew I cooked up or that chutes and ladders copy I saw in the window of that store? Probably chutes and ladders, I doubt she'd have anything coming close to patience for pen and paper and her being on drugs would make it frustrating for a socially-crippled thespian such as myself.

"Cool. I'll try to swing by on Friday," I waved. "See you later."

"See ya!"

* * *

 _Author's Notes: This is literally the first new chapter for Shinobi that I've written since March. It's been a long break and I think I needed it. If everything sounded out of character, it's because I'm still trying to ease into it. I hope you enjoyed it in any case._

 _I originally skipped over the book club because people were complaining that I was spending too much time on fluff and not enough on action and to be honest, I needed things to slow down. This isn't a romance fic primarily, but social problems are a big focus of the fic and I_ need _things to slow down. Going from arc to arc to arc with no breathing room…killed me last time. This time, though? I'm doing what the story needs because that's the only way to really go._

 _Shout-out goes out too_ Sanne Berg, Melden V, Rohan Kirby, Hackerham, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Trevor Fuhlman, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba _and_ Valphrim. _You guys are the best. Thank you for being awesome and supporting me._

 _If_ you _are interested in helping me produce more content like this, please check out my_ _! You'll help me out a lot, obtain my undying gratitude and get your name written in the Author's Notes down here, as well as a spot in the end credits as one of my favorite people in the world._

 _For those of you whom are reading this on FFnet, the link is www dot pa tre on dot com slash fulcon. I am sorry it's not in a better form, FF despises my links and I can't get them to work. Thank you for your interest and I'm sorry for the inconvenience._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	47. The Book Club

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

So, I have my notes, which included reasons why the main character was the greatest main character ever, framed to sound objective because that's the only way to debate the merits of a fictional, subjective character. Got my copy of the book itself, a fine adventure novel, written by one of the finest authoress' to grace this forsaken planet. Finally, I have my winning smile.

…

That is not a smile.

Alright, whatever. Let's just head on over to the ramen stand.

The transition from the empty apartment I called home to the Ramen Stand was somewhat jarring, I had to admit. Stools, open air and smiling faces seemed to contrast with the barren, dusty and empty apartment almost exactly.

Of course, given that I spent most of my time in the Vault nowadays, it really shouldn't be surprising that the apartment is getting dusty. I need furniture for it. Soon. So, you know, I can play graceful host instead of angry hermit, even if angry hermit is actually true to my character.

There was a Nara sitting at the stand that I hadn't actually seen before, his bored expression only shifting slightly into a nod of gratitude when Ayame served him up his noodles. That's good, right? Means that the Ramen Stand's business is growing.

Speaking of Ayame, she gave me a cheerful nod when she saw me. "Hey, Daisuke! I'll be right with you."

"Thanks, Ayame," I said, taking a seat three stools down from the Nara. I understood the look on his face – it was the look of a man who didn't want to be bothered. I would know, because it's the same face I make in the mirror.

I laid my book on the counter in front of me and started tapping my finger. Rhythmically, of course. I don't do it any other way, I had a few songs stuck in my head, even if I have trouble remembering where, exactly, they're from but drumming them on my fingers helped me remember the basic melody, at least.

"So, what'll we have?" Ayame asked, still smiling.

"The special," I said, just barely stopping myself from licking my lips. I love shrimp. "And I've got friends coming too, I'd like to pay for them."

"Sure, how many friends?" Ayame asked, grabbing a bowl.

"Four," I replied. Nichiren, Hisako, Ino and Sakura, if my count is correct.

"Oh. So, is this that book club I heard about?" Ayame asked, gesturing to the book before ladling up my ramen.

"Yeah, who told you about it?" I asked with a frown.

"Ino did," Ayame said with a blink before smiling again. "She's been by a few times, she's really excited for the club."

"She is?" I asked. "It's just a discussion. Why would she be excited?"

"You remember what I told you, right?" Ayame asked, raising an eyebrow and handing me the bowl. "She has a crush on you."

"That doesn't mean she's got a reason to be excited," I replied, shrugging and handing her the ryo. "I'm just going to shoot her down if it comes up."

"Why?" Ayame was frowning for real this time.

"Look at my face," I said, pointing at a mug only fit for gargoyles. "Is this the face of someone whose ready for a relationship of any kind?"

"Yes," Ayame replied with a solemn nod.

Both of my gauntleted hands fell to the table as I growled at her, trying to restrain my armored boots from kicking a hole in her counter.

"Besides, wasn't the plan to try romantic relationships out once you fixed your social problems?" Ayame asked, bringing her hand up like she was weighing the hypothetical scenario in the palm of her hand. "See, then you'll be able to know what you want and, more importantly, how to get it. Then you and I-I mean, whoever, will get together and make the cutest couple in the Land of Fire."

"I was thinking of waiting until I was an adult," I admitted supporting my face with my palm.

"You are an adult."

"I…" I glared at her. "I guess, sure."

As far as Konoha law was concerned, she was correct. As a Shinobi of Konoha, I am legally an adult. I can own property, take on dangerous missions and can be criminally _tried_ as an adult. However, younger shinobi are still called 'kid' because, well, they're young. Given that the human mind doesn't finish developing until the 18-25 range, you can imagine my annoyance with Konoha law.

She looked at me oddly and was about to open her mouth when Ino and Sakura both entered the stand, lifting the flaps and walking underneath them. They both had copies of the same book I brought, Ino holding hers to her chest while Sakura held it down by her waist.

"Daisuke!" Ino beamed. "I'm so glad you could make it. Have you been waiting long?"

"No, I just got here," I replied. "I like being early. You too?"

"I thought it might be a good idea," She said, taking a seat next to me. "Give me and Sakura a chance to talk over some things, but since you're already here. Is anyone else coming?"

"Yeah, Nichiren and Hisako," I replied with a shrug.

"Hisako? Wh-" Sakura started before Ino quickly and lightly placed a hand on her thigh before retracting it.

"Oh? That's good," Ino replied, still smiling though now it seemed a little strained. "I figured Nichiren would like to come…I guess Hisako likes books too, huh?"

"Yeah, it kind of surprised me," I replied with a shrug. "Nichiren was pretty insistent and it turns out, she's a pretty big fan of romance."

"She is," Ino blinked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Her favorite book is 'Confessions'," I continued. "So maybe you'd like the book after all, if you still haven't read it."

"I read it already," Ino replied with a smile growing on her face again, though still very much strained. "After we talked, I went over it. I do like it."

"Well, I'm glad that's the case," I replied. "It's always good to find something you like, right?"

"I completely agree," Ino said, slowly closing her eyes and opening them again.

Why do I suddenly feel weird inside?

The sound of the flaps parting behind me caused me to turn around and there was Nichiren and Hisako, who were already embroiled in a discussion that stopped as they entered.

"Hey, Daisuke," Nichiren gave a small wave, the book held at his side.

"Hey," Hisako also gave a wave, the book held at her side. "Is this everyone?"

"I think so," I replied with a blink. This was weird. I was intending on being ten minutes early just so I could collect my thoughts and prepare for my social interaction? How long has it been, five minutes? I think I should move it back to fifteen minutes, if this is going to be a regular thing.

"So, what does everyone want?" Ayame asked the group, placing both of her hands on the table in a grand assertion of authority.

Over the next several minutes, they all decided what they were going to have. I hoped Ayame remembered to put everything on my tab. If they're going to be spending the afternoon with me, they should at least get something out of it.

The ramen was served, I promptly grabbed a crunchy shrimp, bundled it in noodles and took a bite. Soft exterior, crunchy interior, all delicious. "So, who wants to go first? You all know _my_ opinion on the book."

Immediately, the counter fell silent, save for the consumption of ramen. I felt weird, like I was in the center of a Mexican stand-off.

"It was about what I expected," Nichiren finally started, putting the bowl down. "It wasn't _scary_ , necessarily, but it was really suspenseful. I thought the ending was kind of creative, though. Props for that."

"Yeah, I liked the ending," Hisako replied with a nod. "Inventing a jutsu to keep himself safe from the monster's stomach-acid and letting himself get eaten whole, just to cut his way free when the thing got close to shore was _really_ clever."

Confession time. The book features a sailor with some shinobi training who invents a jutsu. Yes, I identified with the guy immediately. Combined with the premise, I really couldn't _not_ like the book, you know?

"See, I was a little confused by that," Sakura began, closing the book. I guess she'd been looking for something. "I mean, the book goes to great lengths to show that the main character, being the navigator, has jutsu that lets him plot courses along the ocean and determine where he is, but the sea monster sent the jutsu awry, in his own words so how does it work to let him know how close he is to shore?"

"I had the same question, actually," I replied. "But it's not unheard of for a shinobi to, with extensive practice, modify a jutsu to work within more demanding parameters."

"See, I know that," Sakura explained with a nod. "But that normally takes time, right?"

"Months for most people," I answered.

"So how did he survive in the belly of a sea monster for months?" Sakura asked with a frown. "Even if the jutsu protected him for months, he'd still need things like food and water, right?"

"…right," I said with a nod. That had completely slipped my mind, actually. I don't _need_ to eat so it didn't occur to me that a guy that was _sort of_ like me would need to. Actually, eating in general doesn't occur to me unless I'm in a restaurant or something. "I don't know. It doesn't say?"

"No, it doesn't," Sakura replied, opening the book again. "No, wait. It says he's got a jutsu that filters ocean water so that it's drinkable, but nothing else. It just skips from 'him getting eaten' to the epilogue where he cuts himself out."

"The author probably forgot," Nichiren replied with a shrug. "I could see it happening, actually. You write out this exciting conclusion to an awesome story you've been working on for months and in the excitement, you forget one of the small details that made the whole story possible in the process."

"That's usually a sign of poor planning," I explained with a sigh. In my case, where very little planning happened, it was a sign that my memory was slipping. It didn't happen, but there were times when I'd forget things, but usually a quick edit was all it took to fix the issue. "Darn. Here I thought I had the perfect book."

"Now hold on," Ino started. "What did you think happened, Daisuke?"

"Well, in the time skip, I kind of assumed it was only a few days before the sea beast headed close to shore and the protagonist only took a few minutes to change the jutsu," I explained with a frown. "Not because it's realistic for a barely trained homeless nin to do that, but because the author clearly doesn't understand how jutsu work."

"Okay, that much was obvious," Sakura nodded. "But if we're keeping in mind how Jutsu is supposed to work, it's supposed to take someone months so…what happened in the meantime?"

"Unless he's me," I added somewhat unhelpfully.

"Daisuke, there's no one else like you," Ino replied with a smile.

"There's plenty of socially maladjusted, overpowered dummies in the village alone," I replied with a shrug. "Guarantee there's someone else extremely similar to me somewhere in the world."

"Yeah, but you're _our_ socially maladjusted, overpowered dummy," Hisako pointed out sardonically. "But back to the book. How likely would you guys say he knows at least a very basic fire jutsu? My guess is that it's not _un_ likely."

"Yeah, I agree," Ino nodded. "My Dad tells me stories about homeless nin with the weirdest collection of jutsu. Though that's kind of how it goes, since they don't really have a clan to give them anything standard, they just pick thing up as they go."

Hisako started to nod. Then it was like a switch went off in her brain and she started frowning. "So, if he had a fire jutsu, he could conceivably cook anything the sea beast ate, like if it ate a shell-fish or something."

"Why would he need to cook it?" Ino asked with a frown. "It's free sushi. Lots and lots of free sushi."

"Would you want to eat something that something else just ate?" Nichiren asked with a smirk.

Ino's face scrunched up in disgust. "Ew. Okay, good point."

"Besides, if it ate a shell fish, like I was saying," Hisako continued with a raised eyebrow. "He'd need to cook that. If he can."

"Well, if it was a shellfish he'd have to boil it alive so it wasn't poisonous to eat," Ino continued with a glare. "Just cooking it doesn't kill all of the toxins."

This reminds me oddly of a forum I used to visit in my old life. They'd talk about how realistic any work of fiction was or was not at length and argue endlessly like it was an artform. I was always a little scared of posting anything I had because it'd get shredded and I was a delicate flower who needed careful grooming and protection.

At least, that's what I'd tell myself.

"Okay, so," Hisako shrugged. "Depending on how long the sea beast goes without eating, he'd just be without food for a few days at most, which would be bad, but not unlivable."

"Another thing I just thought of," Sakura started. "Say the seabeast eats until it's stomach is bursting; would Yagami even be able to survive or would he get crushed to death by all the meat?"

Yagami was the name of the main character. "If the beast eats until its full to bursting, probably not. But depending on how long it takes to digest food, it might not need to eat for a while."

"So in order for it to work, it needs to _not_ eat until it's bursting and then not eat for a while," Sakura frowned, thumbing her lips before moving back to the end of the book. "Okay, yeah. Apparently, it just ate something big called a 'whale'. Those are like giant fish, right?"

"Close enough," I replied with a shrug.

And the discussion just kept going. The atmosphere was…friendly enough. Though I don't think I could really tell if Ino and Hisako were sniping at each other, but they were on the opposite sides of the discussion much more often than not.

We talked for an hour and then everyone needed to go. Ino needed to help close the flower store and Hisako had a training appointment with Lee. So, I decided to leave first because after all this socializing, I needed the solitude of the vault. Now.

I got handed the bill, I paid it up, such as they couldn't see what was being handed to Ayame and I took my leave. "See you guys later."

"Same time next week?" Ino asked, with a sad look on her face.

"Sure," I replied.

"I can make it then, yeah," Hisako replied, also frowning.

* * *

"And I win!" Anko crowed, throwing her hands up in victory fists. She looked healthier than the last time I saw her, but the oxygen tube told me she was still not well.

"And so you did," I replied, looking at the board. Chutes and ladders should be easy, right? Not against a cheating Ninja. I was annoyed, actually, this should've been easy. "Want to play again?"

"Nah," Anko said, stretching out and managing to pop her back. "So, how'd the book club go?"

I briefly mentioned it when I came in. "It was fine. They found a couple plot holes in my favorite book that I didn't see."

"Ah, that sucks," Anko replied with a frown. "What book is it?"

"Into the Dark Abyss," I replied. "By Asahara Nami."

"Haven't read that one," Anko replied, looking at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Can I borrow it? I'm starved for reading material."

"Sure," I produced the book. The best part about storage seals was that I could just carry around a library with no repercussions. "Here, take as long as you like?"

She looked at the seal writing on my leg for a while. "Got any others?"

"What're you looking for?" I asked with a frown.

"Whatever you've got," Anko replied, leaning back into her hospital bed.

So…let's see, ten adventure novels, four horror novels, two romances that I decided was at least passable, six comedies with humor that I could actually understand and…wait, she already read the Gutsy Shinobi. Alright. "Will that work?"

She stared at the library that just appeared around her bed. "Yeah, that'll be great. I don't mean to take your whole library away from you."

"These are just additional copies of books I like," I shrugged. "You're fine."

"Thanks a lot," She replied with a smile.

This is awkward.

"Can I ask a question?"

"You just did," Anko smirked.

"Okay, can I ask a question after this question that I'm asking?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. Hate technicalities.

"Sure," She started cracking up.

"How did you end up with that seal on your shoulder?" I asked.

Her good mood disappeared, being replaced by a dark look as she glared at her hands. "I was Orochimaru's student. He used me as a science experiment. Not much else to tell. Really."

"Oh, got it," I shrugged. I had the feeling that I forgot something. But what…oh, right. Her Dango. I went through all the trouble to buy some from the Akimichi restaurant (they insisted on giving me a discount, but I was having none of that) and I got so involved in the board game that I forgot they existed. "Also, these are for you."

She looked up as I held out the bag of dango sticks like it was a bouquet. It wasn't _quite_ a squeal she made when she seized the bag from me, but it was darn close. "Oh, you shouldn't have. You're the best!"

"Keep it down, please?" I asked with a gesture to lower the volume. "I know they're clean, but the doctors might not share the same…certainty."

"Right, right. Sorry," She said with a satisfied smile as she ate one right off the stick. "Oh-ho-ho, yes. I missed you so much, dango-chan. You have no _idea_ …"

Well, I feel good. I made a hospital patients _day_ right now, which is a great thing. I'd volunteer here at the hospital more, just the quests I get from them last for a whole shift and I only get a paltry 75 points for each one. It's just not efficient to work that way, which is a shame because the ability to shorten some peoples stay here from two weeks to two hours is something I (to a point, dependent on the patient) possess.

Granted, Danjuro did say I should stop letting EXP rule my life, right? Right. So, there we go. The only way I could conceivably see this going wrong is if it gets boring and…that could be exactly what happens.

"Is it good?" I asked.

"Yes," Her mouth was full, but I could sense the mouth-watering she had in her mouth.

…thank goodness for scaling charisma.

"Alright, I got to go," I said, standing up. "Enjoy the dango."

"Alright see you," Anko waved. "When are you coming back?"

"Uh…how does Monday sound?" I asked with a frown. "You want me to bring another game or…?"

"Whatever you'd like," Anko replied with a smile. "And more dango. They don't know how to make right here, so I'm stuck with these things that taste like plastic."

"You got it," I replied with a wave. "See you."

* * *

 _Author's Note: This chapter was meant to be longer, but I'm trying to feel out Anko's character and flesh her out to more than 'hospital ridden and desperate for company'. I hope you guys enjoyed it in any case._

 _So, as has been pointed out, FFnet does not like links and after getting several explanations as to why (this site is meant to be nonprofit) that I really should have understood immediately but didn't because I'm not bright, I've decided no more advertisements here at the bottom. But you can't stop me from doing shout outs to the people who ARE making this possible, so here you are._

 _Shout out goes out to our newest Super Patron, Hackerham. Thanks for the support! Shout outs also go out too_ Sanne Berg, Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Trevor Fuhlman, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba and Valphrim. _You guys are the best, thank you! :D_

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	48. Blindness and Attentiveness

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"So…'Confessions of a Lady of the Court'," I started. "Go ahead. I've got nothing."

"Oh, I love that one!" Ayame said from across the counter with a smile on her face.

"Me too," Hisako replied with a nod. "I think it's annoying the book ended without telling us who she picked."

"I know, right?" Ino replied with a smile. "I was so set to see Kimiko-chan's wedding to Shigeru-san…"

"You mean to Ietsuna," Hisako's eye's narrowed as she gave her rebuttal. "They were star crossed lovers."

To my credit, I actually did see this coming. Never actually seen one of these unfold out in real life before, I don't think, but I did see this coming. A shipping war. I was hoping that they'd both be shipping the girl, Kimiko, with the same guy. I didn't particularly care if it was Ietsuna, the farmer's son or Shigeru her arranged betrothal, just would've liked to have this been a relatively calm meeting.

No such luck, I'm afraid.

"But Kimiko's too high station for a farmer," Ino frowned. "Either she'd move down, which would mean a drastic change in lifestyle for her, or she'd bring him up and he has no business moving up given how little understands court politics."

"He can learn," Hisako glared. "Besides, those court politics are why the whole story happened in the first place, if you had forgotten."

The 'events' of the book, such as they were, happened because the man Kimiko had _previously_ been engaged too, as a result of mutual love or whatever, was assassinated. She was moved out to the Country with a noble Shigeru who she had been hastily arranged to be married too and there she met Ietsuna. What's interesting is that she grew to love both men. In my old world, growing to love the guy you were arranged to be married too was a huge no-no because it was a strike against female independence. Goes to show how different our two worlds are.

"So bringing an innocent farmer into an environment where he could be assassinated is okay?" Ino asked, her eyebrow arched.

"Hire a shinobi to figure out the assassination and protect them," Hisako sniffed dismissively. "Compared to what they had they could afford one or two with pocket change."

From what I saw in the book, that is true. I mean, I don't know how expensive things get but this royal family had _stuff_. Needless, pointlessly extravagant stuff, but stuff nonetheless. They could probably afford the Hokage himself, actually.

Why do I get the feeling I just failed a skill check?

…do _not_ get your notebook out and turn on alerts. This day is meant for relaxing and being told how many ways I suck and should kill myself is not conducive to relaxing. Alerts are for missions, not civilian life.

"Well, actually it depends," Ayame said, coming back around from serving another customer that walked in, an Inuzuka that sat next to Nichiren, there not being any more room in the stand. "All that stuff has upkeep and depending on how much that upkeep is, they might not be able to afford a new pair of sandals after all of that, less a Ninja."

"Upkeeps never that bad, right?" Hisako asked with a frown.

Why was Nichiren glaring at Ayame?

"Oh, upkeep can get really bad," Teuchi had evidently been eavesdropping, as he replied as he hefted a huge, bubbling cauldron of ramen onto the burners they had behind the counter. "But only if the person in charge of the money is an idiot. Or if he's beholden to an idiot."

"Right, but if you have to hire a Ninja to protect a bumkin farmer getting used to the life of a royal, you have to hire a Ninja to protect the ingratiated noble's son who has been in the life of a noble for his whole life," I explained, my intelligence proving useful for once. I looked up at Teuchi, not sure how much of the conversation he had caught. "Sorry, we were just discussing a book."

"I know," Teuchi nodded with a smile. "I've been listening."

"Cool," I replied.

"But my point is, Shigeru's been in that environment all his life, he knows what to expect," Ino continued almost too smoothly but I noticed a quick glance past Nichiren for some reason. At the Nara and Inuzuka? Why? "Bringing someone who doesn't understand that he's painting a target on his back onto the scene feels like, I don't know, entrapment?"

It was around this point that I started to turn the two out. They were arguing about a book that I, personally, did not care about and so I found it hard to actually follow what they were saying. Bottom-line, Hisako supported the farmer, Ino supported the noble and I just wanted to take the main character back behind the shed and shoot her.

Well, _a_ shed. I don't have a shed. Maybe I should get one? Make an area of the vault, dress it up like it's outside, give it a farm-house exterior, large yard and a wooden shed that doesn't actually have anything in it and an 'x' painted behind it with a sigh pointed toward it says 'to kill something, place it on 'x' and prepare shotgun'.

Heck, an area like that would solve a lot of issues. Like the Sonic Franchise, what Legend of Korra did to Avatar the Last Airbender, _that truck driver_ okay we can stop that line of thinking. Besides, maybe they dug The Last Airbender out of the hole that Korra sunk them into. Maybe. But I doubt it.

Though, as an avowed Nintendo fan, I hope Sonic stayed garbage after I died. Though most of my ire came from my younger brother who was an utter sonic fanboy and would never, ever shut up about his dumb gary-stu OC that was more powerful than anything else in any setting ever.

…I miss him so much. Kind of hurts, actually.

"What do you think Daisuke?" Sakura asked, stirring me from my thoughts.

"Hm? Oh, sorry," I shrugged sheepishly. "I zoned out. What was the question?"

"Do you think that Ietsuna could learn how to be a noble if he married up?" Sakura asked with an annoyed sigh.

Both Ino and Hisako looked put off. Hisako sighed and leaning against her hand like she was very, very tired. Ino turned to the counter with her fingers interlocked as she glared at her empty bowl.

"If he stuck with it, yeah," I answered with a shrug. "The question is if he wants too."

"Well he loves her so I'd say he wants too," Hisako piped up.

"Sure, he might want too initially," I allowed with a frown. "But as the realities of what he was being asked to learn, do and figure out set in, he might have second thoughts. It's a completely different lifestyle than what he's used too and people are terrified of change."

I looked up in thought. "At least I think people are scared of change. That's still a thing, right? I'm just going off the fact that I'm scared of change. Sort of."

"Besides," I shook my head and came back to reality. "Love isn't some all-consuming brain-replacer or something. He still has what he likes and what he doesn't like and by marrying up, he could wind up giving up the grand majority of what he likes. He didn't have much in the way of ambition, if I remember correctly."

That was part of the appeal, actually. He was 'humble', something that she didn't see very much in the courts.

"Right," Hisako looked a little downcast.

"Though that's really just conjecture," I explained. "In the book, if she gave up her engagement to Shigeru, she'd give up her station for that of a farmer. That was the big thing she had against Ietsuna, so I don't see why we're asking that question."

Hisako actually stopped short. "Uh…you know, I was just curious. You know, if she ended up keeping her place in the court, you know."

She said 'you know' three separate times. That's a little odd. Why did she do that?

…I just failed a charisma check. I did. I _know_ _it_.

I hate you, game.

"So clearly Shigeru's the better choice," Ino replied seeming a _little_ smug. "Matches her station, can maneuver politics already and can give her everything she needs."

"Not necessarily," I replied with a blink. "She bemoaned the fact that her first love was killed as a result of court politics and she was honestly considering ditching Shigeru just to get away from the danger. Remember?"

Ino blinked, turning pink and looking away. "Oh. Right, yeah."

These two liked the book but _I'm_ the only one that remembers the exact specifics? Thank you, Ten Int? I guess?

"Basically, the biggest gripe the main character has is the choice between not getting what she wants and keeping what she has," I started to sum up with a sigh. "And getting what she wants and losing what she has."

Which I will say is a _fantastic_ character arc. I mean, it was executed horribly here but it's an amazing idea…I can't wait until I've got the charisma to really start writing again.

"That's very insightful, Daisuke-kun," Ino said with a smile on her face.

"Yeah," Hisako said, looking down in her bowl with a frown.

What's up?

"You know, we've been here for an hour now," Nichiren said, looking at his watch. "I think maybe we should call it a day? Come back next week?"

"A different book too," I insisted, more than a little perplexed that they had forgotten key details of a book they liked enough to go to verbal war over.

"Which one, Senpai?" Ino asked with a frown.

"I don't know. Sakura, pick one," I said, gesturing to the pink-haired academy student.

"Uh…sure, how about 'Diaries of a Princess'?" Sakura asked. "Is that okay, Senpai?"

Another romance? Alright, fine. But only because there's no love triangle. "Sure, that works."

"I've read that one," Hisako said, pushing herself away from her half-finished ramen bowl. "I like it fine."

"Cool, let's go," Nichiren said, and everyone stood up. Well, everyone except me. I just ported away to the Vault.

As I sat at the bar I had constructed, the empty serving trays in front of me, I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. In retrospect, perhaps I should've seen the argument coming. Maybe. I hadn't considered that the two girls had identified with the opposite ship but how was I supposed to know that that would happen?

…I'm so glad the game can't answer for me right now. Screw you, game.

You know, I need to figure out how to _staff_ this place. Just so it feels alive. I mean, as alive as a representation of a post-Nuclear Armageddon shelter can be. I'm thinking maybe I can make a Mister Handy? Okay, I'd have to grow all the parts then figure out how to program the thing. Obviously, it'd be fashioned after sands puppets but self-operating. Modify a clone jutsu as the basis for the operating system and bind it to the robot using seals.

Think it's safe to go back? Yeah, I think it's safe to go back.

I appeared right in front of the ramen stand and entered quickly.

"Well, that got heated," Teuchi was the one at the counter. He started to chuckle as I took a seat. "Those girls have it bad for you, you know?"

"I know," I replied with a groan. "I'm confused as to how that got into the book discussion, though."

"Well, you zoned out when they really got started," Teuchi replied with a grin. "But the argument went from talking about the characters in the book to arguing about why they were the better pick for you. Still using the character names, of course."

I tried to make sound with my mouth. I really tried. But it just died like a gurgle in the back of my throat.

He patted me on the shoulder with a kind smile. "You have my sympathy. And my envy, but don't let Ayame know that last part, alright? If I had two beautiful girls chasing me when I was your age…hoo."

"You got it," I finally said, letting my shoulders sink. "I won't say anything. I just wanted to talk about books. I love books. Did they have to turn it into that?"

"Well, they were probably hoping you wouldn't notice," Teuchi shrugged, turning a burner down. "But it got really obvious. You want my advice, though?"

"Sure," I said, gesturing flippantly. Maybe he had the solution.

"Pick the one you trust," Teuchi said with a nod. "Infatuation and love come and go, but trust? Trust will last a lifetime."

"That…makes a lot of sense," I replied with a sigh. "I don't trust either of them."

"Then neither of them are the right choice," Teuchi said with a shrug. "Easy as that. So, don't worry about it."

"But one of them is my _teammate_ ," I explained with a frown. "I feel like I'm _supposed_ to trust her."

"Eh," Teuchi shrugged. "Trusting someone with your back is different to trusting someone with your heart."

"It is?" I asked with a little bit of shock.

"Yeah," Teuchi nodded. "I trust my daughter, for instance. To support the ramen stand, to cheer me up when I'm feeling sad and to make the right choice when it finally comes time for her to marry. But I don't trust her to be able to defend the village should it come to that. Do you understand?"

"Makes sense," I nodded. "I hadn't thought about it like that before."

"Good," Teuchi said. "And don't let my daughter try to convince you one way or the other. Who knows, you may find you can trust one of them like that after all. But only when you're able to do so."

* * *

The last thing I expected to see here were Inuzuka dogs. But here they were. Three of them. Good looking dogs, but dogs nonetheless. And they were growling at me. Good to see that little trend from my old life hasn't gone away.

"Hey, hush," Hana Inuzuka stepped into the stand, glaring at the trio who immediately backed down. Then she turned to me and gave me a friendly smile. I hadn't met her since the party that the Akimichi threw after I skipped the last one. "Shimoda-kun. A pleasure to see you."

"Inuzuka-san," I nodded in response. "Good to see you too, I guess."

"I'm sorry about the Haimaru," Hana said sheepishly. "Normally, they're really friendly."

Every dog owner claims that. Usually right before they bit one of my siblings. "It's okay. Dog's don't like me and the feeling's mutual."

"You don't like dogs?" Hana seemed concerned.

"Not for the most part, no," I can count on one hand the number of dogs I learned to like. "No offense, sorry. I know your clan is all about dogs but I've never grown fond of them."

"It's alright," Hana shrugged and frowned, taking a seat. "Do you come to this stand often?"

"Not until recently," I explained. "My friend Naruto loves to hang around here so whenever I want to see him, I'd come here. But now that we've got a book club, I come every Thursday."

"I heard about that, actually," Hana replied as Ayame came out.

Ayame looked at Hana with a glare for _half_ of a second before switching to a neutral expression. "Inuzuka-sama. Can I take your order?"

Hana gave it and Ayame quickly dished her up a bowl before heading off to a corner to stir pots of ramen.

"So, how's the book club going?" Hana asked.

"Honestly, I'm wondering if it was worth the trouble," I replied with a shrug.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" She asked conversationally.

"Just…some arguments is all," I said with another shrug.

"Okay," Hana nodded, slurping down some noodles.

Ino and Sakura entered the stand and upon laying eyes on Hana, Ino _froze_ with a shocked expression before adopting a polite smile and a bow. "Daisuke-kun, Inuzuka-san. Nice to see the both of you."

"Very nice to see you," Sakura mirrored her friend's movements.

"Hi," I gave a small bow from my spot on the bench. I guess it's time to be formal right now or something? Whatever.

"I must admit, I'm a little surprised to see you," Ino said, taking the next available spot next to me. "I haven't seen you here before."

"My brother said this place has the best ramen in Konoha," Hana shrugged non-committedly, taking a slurp of noodles before continuing. "I've been meaning to check this stand out for a while. I finally found time today and he was _right_. This stuff is good."

Right after that, Hisako and Nichiren walked in, both looking very concerned. This concern only doubled when they saw Hana sitting next to me.

"Inuzuka-san," Hisako and Nichiren both gave her a bow of greetings.

"Yamada-san, Nakamura-san," Hana said, then she drained the broth of her ramen and she was done. "Anyway, I need to be heading back to the office. Nice seeing you all."

She paid and left in a hurry.

"What was that?" Hisako asked, taking Hana's seat.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "She came, ordered a bowl of ramen, you guys freaked out about her being here and she left."

"We were just surprised," Ino replied quickly. "That's all."

"Anyway, we got a book to talk about, right?" Nichiren asked with a frown. "Another romance."

There was not an argument this time. Thank goodness. But everyone was on edge and the discussion only lasted ten minutes before nothing else could be said. It was…frankly a boring book. Standard, nothing thought raising or provoking. Made for a short, non-confrontational meeting which I was okay with.

"Can we pick a different book this time?" Sakura asked at the end. "Romance is great, but I think we could all use a break from having our hearts jerked around."

"There's the Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi," Ayame suggested. "That one was written by one of the Sannin, it's got to be good, right?"

"I'd like that one," Nichiren nodded. "I've heard there's a lot of action."

"So, next Thursday?" I asked, checking for nods. "Great, see you then."

Where's Naruto usually?

Actually, he's usually at the training ground which made me proud. He was really trying to improve and become a better Shinobi, which was good because when the problems started to happen he'd be better prepared. I wonder if _Wave_ is still going to happen. I mean, probably.

Off I go and…what is he doing?

There was Naruto, alright, but there was also a massive…plus-sign? Naruto-clones had clumped together, standing on their shoulders and grabbing hands to form themselves into a statue of a plus sign, an end sticking out of each side reminding me of a jack.

…wait, how did you play jacks? I never learned, I just knew it was a game that involved those things that spies used to pop the tires of cars chasing after them.

"Naruto!" I called with a wave.

He turned. "Hey, Daisuke! How's it going?"

"Oh, it's fine," I said, sliding up to him. "So…what's this?"

"This is training me to better use my clones to do more stuff!" Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head with a large grin. "Haha, yup! That's it!"

"Oh," I nodded. "…is it anything else?"

"I'm desperately trying to not be bored," Naruto sighed, letting his arms fall as he slumped forward. "Training is so… _boring_."

"That's one of the many reasons why I'm glad I can just skip it," I nodded sagely. "Being a social cripple has its perks."

"Did you just make a joke about your disability?" Naruto asked disbelievingly with a huge grin spreading across his face.

"I'm getting over it," I said, shrugging for the millionth time today. "So, how's your stance?"

Naruto groaned. "Daisuke! I told you I'm bored with training. I'm trying to stop my brains from leaking out of my ears, I'm so bored."

"Okay, but I still want to see your stance," I hadn't had the chance to actually work with Naruto and his Taijutsu for a while, he and the other members of Team 7 wanting to take a break and work on their own stuff for a while.

"Can we be done now?" One particularly miserable sounding clone asked, sounding out of breath.

"Ah, sure," Naruto said, bringing his hands together in a seal and dispelling the army-statue-thing in a large puff of smoke.

"So…"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Naruto said, assuming the stance. "You may fire when ready."

Eh?

"It's fine," I replied. It actually was. Wasn't supreme in its perfection or anything but it was passable. I was proud.

"Wait, are you still joking?" Naruto asked with a suspicious glare.

"No, it's really fine," I said with a nod. "Not perfect, obviously, but it's passable. Fine."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Yahoo!" Naruto jumped into the air, achieving impressive air for someone still in the academy. "I did it! I've got a good stance! Yes!"

"Yes, yes you do," You know, come to think of it, I may be a little overly judgmental about what a 'good' stance is given that I literally just maxed it out and have stupidly high standards about what is actually good Taijutsu. See, Hisako is someone I would say is good at Taijutsu. Sort of. Better than most. Kakashi-sensei is another one. Not the best he could be but whatever…

"Awesome," Naruto smiled. "So, what'd you come to see me for?"

"I just needed to see a friend," I replied, putting my hands in my pockets.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked, looking confused. "Alright, what's up?"

He sat on the grass, and gestured me to join him.

"Well," I began. "You know how I started doing that book club?"

"Yeah, with Hisako, Nichiren-senpai, Ino and Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked with a nod. "Uh-huh. I heard. Why didn't you invite me?"

"Because books aren't your thing and you're miserable when you're bored," I replied swiftly and decisively. "I would've invited you if I thought you'd have a good time."

"Alright, good point. Alright," Naruto nodded repeatedly as he said this. "So, what's the problem?"

"Inuzuka Hana showed up," I answered. "And Hisako and Ino both flipped out. Trying to figure out why."

"Yeah Kiba was saying he told his sister about the…wait a minute," Naruto's eyes narrowed slightly. "How long has this club been going on?"

"A couple of weeks," I answered. "Why?"

He hummed. "You know, I think the clans might be wondering if Ino's trying to start something."

"Oh, you think?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I do think," Naruto nodded. "They think you're super awesome, so they all want to be the first to lay a claim on you, whatever that means."

"Who did you hear that from?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"Eh, I heard the Old Man talking to someone, I don't remember who," Naruto shrugged.

Oh. Well, I think this club might actually be threatening people's lives. Maybe. I don't know how cutthroat politics get here in Konoha. Probably not _that_ bad, now that I think about it but still pretty bad. "Oh. I think I'll cut the club off then next meeting. I don't want people getting…in trouble, because they're spending time with me."

"I don't think it's that bad," Naruto said with a frown. "It's just, you know, people are watching."

"I don't want people watching," I replied with a raised eyebrow. "I like my privacy."

Naruto shrugged. "Alright, whatever you want. But, uh…question."

"Shoot," I told him.

He opened his mouth, raised his finger to speak, but then he dropped it. "Never mind, it's okay."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "Just uh…try to remember who you're around, alright? Clan heirs are _really_ full of themselves and tend to think they're better than everyone else."

"You're talking about Ino?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. I mean, she's been really cool since you helped save all of us," Naruto said with a frown. "But before, she…was not cool. Not cool at all. She called Sakura names all the time, had an ego the size of a mountain and worshipped Sasuke for literally no reason. I mean, Sasuke's…not as bad as I thought he was, but still."

"I think I get what you mean," I said. Wait, Naruto saying that Sasuke isn't that bad? Really?

"I mean, she could've changed," Naruto said, shrugging. "But, uh…be careful."

"I will."

That's weird. Well, I mean, Naruto and Sasuke did become best friends in canon. Well, I mean they became something like a violent version of Spongebob and Squidward where one wants to be the others friend and the other would like the first to die by any means necessary.

Can you call that friendship?

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Honestly, I'm actually happy with how this chapter turned out. And this arc in general. I needed time away from the game and the numbers which is why nothing violent happened. But to those of you asking for something exciting to happen, I would like to tell you to shut up and let me write. You'll get your excitement soon, but this fic is more than a straight adventure fic and I'm allowed to have multiple facets in a single story. Thank you for your patience._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Trevor Fuhlman, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Valphrim _and_ Hackerham. _Thank you guys for being awesome._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	49. Premature Endings

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Well.

My Thursdays have officially turned into a circus.

Ichiraku's ramen stand was more crowded than it had ever been. With me, Hisako and Nichiren the _entire rookie nine_ (including Naruto!) and various handlers that each of them had brought. The fact that not all of them could fit in the stand was actually pretty funny.

I think Hisako shared my amusement, because (and I could be wrong), but she looked ready to burst out into laughter at any second, in sharp contrast to Ino, who was rapidly drumming her fingers on the counter and looking around the stand with wide eyes and she had burst out into a cold sweat.

Wait, that's a sign she's frightened by something. Why would she be frightened? There's not a Genjutsu going on that I can see, so…curse you, 4 charisma.

Ayame was staring blankly at the crowd over the counter. Teuchi came out from the back and upon seeing the crowd, his eyes went wide. Then his eyes narrowed and he brought his hands together and popped his knuckles in a manner that even I understood: _Challenge Accepted_. "Attention! I will now be taking your orders!"

The various conversations that had been going on around me had mercifully stopped at the sound of Teuchi's booming voice. Thank goodness, the commotion was actually giving me a headache.

"Can I get a bowl of Miso-Pork Ramen?" Naruto called eagerly, actually looking happy for the first time since he had arrived.

"Certainly!" Teuchi replied with a smile, tapping Ayame on the shoulder to get her started. "Anything else?"

"Nope, that's it for right now!" Naruto was still smiling.

I wish I was next to him right now. I need that ten-charisma barrier between me and the social barbarians.

"May I get the Ahiru special?" Sasuke had risen his hand. Huh, I didn't think he'd be right after Naruto. Maybe he just wants to be served now instead of waiting for an hour for Teuchi to get through everyone? Actually, yeah. That's probably it.

Then deafening silence.

I looked to the left. Hisako motioned me to order.

"I've already eaten," I said, flicking the empty bowl in front of me. "Not hungry right now."

That started it off. Ino and Hisako turned this into a competition, trying to order at the same time, their orders 'duck' and 'pork' were almost incomprehensible due to them being given at the same time. But I think Teuchi understood them anyway, given by the note he wrote.

Then everyone started giving their orders then going back into their random, whispered conversations and I just wanted to port back to my vault and bang my head on the wall until Kakashi gave us a mission again.

…what is he waiting for? We've basically been sitting idle in the village for _weeks_ after I've been brought back onto missions. But…nothing. Nope. Zero. I've been _trying_ to make my life not about EXP. That's part of _why_ I even kept up this book-club thing even though it's started to become a circus. A three-ring circus with people trying to do…something? With me? Be better friends but not necessarily because they actually want to be friends?

The frustrating thing is that if I wasn't in the position of _Player 1_ , had never become a gamer, I would completely understand it. Days like this, I wish I had never died.

Stupid truck with its stupid driver.

…I mean, most days I wish I hadn't died but you know. Today it's especially painful because I've got this horrendous headache.

Ramen was being served, Ino and Hisako had actually started talking about the book for this week. I had well and truly tuned out everyone at this point, adopting full statue as I slipped further and further into the recesses of my own head.

You know, so many things in my life have become complete disappointments in one way or another. Built to be a murder machine? I have to talk to people to get quests. Make any jutsu I want? Can't bring myself to learn how to actually use them in combat. Even flying is sort of disappointing. _Flying_. Something man has dreamed of doing since the stone age. But now I can do it and there's nothing up in the sky besides birds and clouds.

Almost makes me wish that I had gotten a _Dragon_ summon instead of Penguin or something. Something that can actually fly and I can, I don't know, share it. Or at least have something interesting up there because right now, when I fly up high in the sky, I look down and think 'all of the interesting stuff is on the ground'.

Never thought I'd be bored of flying. Wish I could go back to that time when I _wanted_ instead of _had_.

You know, now that I think about it, I wonder if Jutsu can be used to travel forward or backward in time. I'd need an extensive seal array, obviously, but I wonder if I can fit it all in, say, a car. A DeLorean, perhaps. Owning one of those would've been _cool_.

Go back in time, back when I lived a normal life…except I'd still be a gamer under the gaming system and without Almost Perfect, I'd be a statue. Just about the same appearance, just closer to marble than flesh until Almost Perfect. I mean, I _did_ keep my old appearance at Character Creation.

"Daisuke?" Hisako asked.

"Hm?" I asked, looking at her. "I'm sorry, what'd you say?"

"We were just wondering-" Her expression went from 'suppressed annoyance' to surprise. "Oh! Hello, Hokage-sama."

I turned and there he was. Hiruzen, who I believe might just be my ticket out of this, standing just past the entrance flaps. Everyone in the _stand_ was staring at him. I had the odd picture of a kid getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Hello, Yamada-chan," Hiruzen gave her a kindly smile. "Shimoda-kun, good to see you're doing alright."

"Good to see you too," I replied. "Hokage-sama."

"So, what's the gathering for?" He asked, looking over everyone with a neutral expression.

"A book club, at first," I answered him with a frown. "Now it's kind of a circus."

"What makes you say that?" Hiruzen asked with a kinder smile.

"Well, it's weird," I said. "This originally started as a club between me, Hisako, Nichiren, Ino and Sakura. This week, everyone showed up at…various times throughout the meeting and everyone had read the same book and everyone wanted to talk about it…even Naruto, who I know hates reading."

"I just wanted to show some support is all," Naruto said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"I was just spending time with Naruto," Hinata actually spoke up, which surprised me. "And Sasuke. They thought it might be a good idea to attend."

"Thanks Naruto," I said empathetically. "I think this might be our last meeting, though. I didn't mean to cause a ruckus."

"Oh, I think it's a good thing that you were trying to expand your social network," Hiruzen started, causing me to feel a level of dread that I hadn't felt in…ever. "But yes, I do believe taking a break might be wise."

Thank goodness.

"Cool," I replied with a nod. "In that case, see you all later!"

 _Pop_.

Just like that I was in the vault.

Silence. The cold air of the inside of this cavern of the Valley of the end. The wooden floor beneath my feet as hard as steel.

I took off my gloves and ran my bare fingers through my hair. It's time like this that I feel like a completely pathetic individual because I can't handle _crowds_. Just…blegh. Crowded city streets where I can get lost in a crowd are one thing. A meeting in an enclosed area with a lot of people I am at least semi-familiar with? Not so much.

…just realized that this is the first time since I bought my gauntlets that I've taken them off. Huh. It's kind of nice, in a way. I just need to make sure I don't forget them before I leave.

Need to figure out a way to actually get my counters to _feel_ like metal. For that extra authenticity, since I can't actually make metal with jutsu. I'd have to do things the hard way if I wanted to do that…

…wait, I think I figured out a new way to spend my time.

* * *

"That sucks," Anko frowned, moving her shogi piece along the board. "But that's politics, am I right?"

"Yeah," I replied sullenly, moving my own piece forward.

"Ah, cheer up," Anko told me, patting me on the shoulder. "Think of it this way! The Hokage came in, saw what happened and now he's going to chew them all out about not leaving you alone like he wanted."

"I don't like getting people chewed out, though," I said with a deep frown. "I swear, my life was a lot easier before I became famous."

"Before you saved every clan's heirs at once?" Anko replied, raising an eyebrow. "I can imagine, but I think you're the only person in Konoha who'd complain about getting too much of the right kind of attention from the clans."

"Probably," I agreed with a shrug. "But I've never actually wanted to be famous in Konoha. I just wanted to do missions, kill things, and live life the way I had intended. Well, that was _before_ …certain things."

Danjuro said 'don't live your life for exp'. The trouble I'm having is that while I want more friends, the people I can think of for 'more friends' aren't interested in being my friend solely to be my friend. I mean, Naruto, Hisako, Nichiren and _maybe_ Ino, Sasuke and Sakura all fit that bill, but everyone else? Well, there's a reason I built a vault.

Anko hummed, raising her finger to her lips in thought. She was looking much better in the four weeks or so since I pulled that seal off. She had color in her skin, she was off oxygen way sooner than I would've thought possible and she almost looked recovered. Almost. Doubt she'll be able to walk any time soon, though. "Well, when you hit Chunin, you'll be able to do that. When's the next exam?"

"I think in about…three weeks or so," I replied. "That's when we need to leave, anyway. I don't know if Kakashi-sensei has entered us, though."

"He'd be insane not too," Anko said, rolling her shoulders. "Anyway, I got to use the bathroom."

Wait, she's getting up.

"Uh…"

She got up and grabbed the IV and pulled it behind her.

If this were a fanfic, that hospital gown wouldn't be tied on tightly enough and it'd be a little short. But this is real life and the doctors here aren't pervs. Or stupid. Kind of happy about that.

Never mind that, though _she's walking_.

What?

I…mind blown! I don't understand! I mean, I guess it's possible to recover that quickly but the odds against it were one hundred to one. Okay, she's a little slow on the walk but still! She's walking! Unassisted!

She entered the bathroom built just inside her room and shut the door.

Well. Cool.

So, about the Chunin exams. Could that be why Kakashi hasn't put any of us on missions? He's vetting us and trying to make sure we're all ready. I mean, I know I'm ready so maybe not vet _me_ but Nichiren and Hisako definitely.

Then again, they _did_ think I was suicidal not too long ago so maybe they're trying to figure out how I handle long periods of inactivity? That might be it, which stinks because it means I need to keep trying to be a model shinobi. At least until I'm Chunin, can just spam missions until level 30 and then take my new social awareness wherever I feel.

I sighed and looked at the game board. Shogi only made me miss Chess. I never got a chance to play chess all that often but I did enjoy the game.

…wait a minute, she can move her Kei-ma to put my O-sho in check next turn. I'm confused as to how I didn't see that. Was she trying to keep me distracted by way of conversation? Okay, well if she does that, then I'll just…yeah then…okay then she'll do that and…

The door opened and she came back around and got back into bed. "Hey, did I mention the doctors have almost cleared me for release?"

"No, you didn't," I replied. "How?"

"How what?" She asked.

"How are you already being considered for release?" I elaborated. "And while we're on that subject, how are you even _walking_?"

"Pure. Determination," Anko said through a smile with grit teeth.

"Bull," I objected immediately.

"No, it's _nooooot_ ," She replied with a sing-song voice. "I'm walking around like it's nothing."

" _Bull_ ," I said again.

"Well okay, maybe it is a little tiring to walk around," Anko admitted with a shady glance to the side. "But I'm walking! And you're acting like the doctors did when I they saw me walking around – flabbergasted expression and all."

"Bull," I continued to object. "I don't emote."

She reached forward and turned my head to face the mirror on the side of the wall. The only thing stopping me from _breaking_ that arm was that she was a Konoha shinobi and she's on her hospital bed recovering, no matter what she said. "See? Same expression."

"Huh," I didn't really look in the mirror too often to be honest. "Weird. I have an expression."

"Pft," Anko started chuckling again. "I like you, ki-er, Daisuke."

"Thanks?" I replied, turning to face her.

"So, Daisuke," Anko began. "You've been a huge help to me, removing the seal and coming to visit me every week. And after I'm released, I'm going to start training right away-"

"Don't do that, wait a week," I replied immediately. "Actually two. Or Three. Three would be good."

"I'm not sitting on my hands doing nothing when I could be getting back to fighting shape as fast as possible," Anko folded her arms and glared at me. "What's the matter, you're acting like I'll tear like tissue paper or something."

"If you overstrain yourself, you will," I nodded. "Well, not tear like tissue paper, but you could do more damage and extend your recovery time and end up back in the hospital."

"I know _that_ ," Anko frowned. "That's why I wanted to ask you if you wanted to keep helping me out, since you're so smart."

"Help you how?" I blinked.

"By helping me train," Anko explained. "You know be there, be my sparring partner and make sure I don't kill myself throwing a punch or whatever."

She wants me to be her minder until she's fully healthy? Uh…alright. Not like I'm doing anything else for a while.

"Sure, I can do that," I shrugged.

She smiled. "Thanks, Daisuke."

"When did you want to meet up?"

"Thursday, same time," Anko replied with a nod.

 _Quest Accepted: Sparring Partners: Anko._

 _Meet up with Anko on Thursday at 3:32pm._

 _(Optional): Don't let her overexert herself once._

Well, at least I get some- _no!_ No, no, no. I'm not doing this for EXP. I'm doing this to help out a friend. That's it. Not doing this because I'll be closer finally be completely socially conscious, for better or worse, that there won't be any orders or personal anxieties to stop me from actually getting it.

You know, I could've gotten a charisma boost _before_ getting ordered not to. Just too pathetic and scared of actually connecting with the people around me or something.

"Alright, that works," I replied.

"Thanks Daisuke," She said before moving her piece forward.

Wait, that's not her Kei-ma. And my O-sho is not in check.

Huh.

…is she not taking this game seriously?

* * *

"I've recommended the three of you for the chunin exams," Kakashi told us, his eye as piercing as it's ever been. "The Hokage and I think all three of you are ready for it and the only thing for you to do is sign up."

We were standing in training ground 3. The sun was shining through the tree leaves. Everything felt peaceful since there wasn't anyone training or throwing jutsu around right now. A soft breeze floated drifted over the grass and across my face.

"Really?" Hisako sounded happy, bringing both of her hands together with wide eyes and a bright smile.

"Really," Kakashi eye-smiled and nodded.

"Yes!" She fist pumped.

"Ookay," Nichiren said with a breath. "Yeah, I think we're ready."

I was in complete agreement. Having some actual autonomy with when I go on missions and where I go and how long I'm gone is going to be a _huge_ breath of fresh air. Finally, I can go see the world without having to sneak out.

Not that sneaking out is an issue, I'm pretty good at it, but I don't like having to hide what I'm doing from people. I like it being very clear 'I am going here. I am doing this. And you have no objection to this.'

…the syringes I pilfered from Orochimaru being the sole exception and that is entirely out of necessity. I can't have those confiscated from me. I _won't_. Any attempt at taking those from me will result in a fight, one that I don't think Kakashi or Hiruzen are ready for.

And while I'm currently entertaining delusions of grandeur, I'd like the ability to time travel. Don't think I'm high enough level for either of those things to be a possibility.

"…Daisuke-kun?" Kakashi asked me.

"Hm?"

"Aren't you excited?" Hisako asked with a smile though it had gotten a little smaller.

"Of course, I'm excited," I replied with a grin. "The Chunin exams. Finally, a little bit of freedom."

Hisako and Nichiren both chuckled…is it just me, or do they sound nervous?

"I bet you're excited," Kakashi said with an eye-smile. "Just remember what you've learned as a Genin, and you'll be fine."

"Stay with the team," Hisako nodded.

"Don't take bad fights," Nichiren added.

"And remember that your duty is to protect your friends and Konoha," Kakashi finally finished.

"Right," I nodded. That's…odd. That just made me feel somewhat uneasy. Like something that I've forgotten is stirring in the back of my head. What was it that I said when I graduated the academy?

 _I wondered what my parents would think if they knew that I had become a child soldier._

 _They would probably be mortified._

I was so derisive back then of them and their attitude but now I wondered if perhaps that mortification might, I dunno…be justified? A little?

"Daisuke is something wrong?" Hisako asked with a concerned.

"It's fine," I shook my head. I'll think about that later. "It's not something I feel like talking about."

Hisako blinked, she had reached out a hand, but withdrew it back to her chest. "Okay."

"You know we're here for you," Nichiren offered quietly. "If you need to talk about something, we'll listen."

I've got no interest in sharing my status as a reincarnate. Might not ever tell anyone, actually now that I think about it. "No, it's fine. So, how often are we going to be training for the exams?"

"As often as possible," Kakashi said after a slight hesitance. "What are your schedules looking like?"

"I can't do Tuesday," Hisako replied. "My Mom and Dad are home, and I'd like to spend as much time as possible before they leave again."

"I have a standing appointment on Thursdays," I replied. "Hokage had me help treat a patient a few weeks ago and she's going to be getting out of the hospital soon. I need to make sure she doesn't kill herself."

"The Hokage had you help treat a patient," Hisako blinked in surprise.

"100 Medicine skill," I replied with a nod.

"You have 100 Medicine skill," Nichiren repeated, rubbing the side of his face. "Great, does that mean you can help me become a medic nin?"

"As long as you don't ask me to cheat for you, sure," I shrugged.

"I wouldn't do…" Nichiren started with a glare before stopping himself. "Right, yeah. I don't want to cheat. Again. I just want a…tutor."

"That works," I replied with a nod.

"But the Hokage asked you to do this," Kakashi started with a narrowed eye.

"He did," I nodded.

"And you're continuing to help her even though she's getting out soon," Kakashi stated. "…did you get a mission?"

"…yeah," I replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head. If I told them I wasn't doing it for the quest, would they believe me? I doubt it.

"Well, that's a great mission to have," Kakashi said with an eye-smile. "How long was she in the hospital?"

"A month," I answered. "I thought she'd be in there for three at most. Her recovery was _freaky_."

Hisako laughed, before slamming her hand on her mouth to contain it.

"Something wrong?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Her recovery was freaky," She repeated, still giggling. "That's coming from you. Oh, _Daisuke_ …I lo-erm. Herm."

"What?" I asked with a frown.

"I just think it was funny," She replied with a grin. "You've got the fastest recovery time in the village bar none, but when someone else does it, it freaks you out."

"Why wouldn't it?" I asked with a frown. "I know I'm weird, but no one else does what I do. So, when I think someone might be pushing themselves too hard and might end up damaging themselves irreparably as a result, I think I'd be a little freaked out."

"Oh, I get it. Yeah," She started nodding. "That makes sense."

"Okay. Nichiren, do you have anything?" Kakashi asked.

"I can't do Saturdays or Sundays," Nichiren answered. "Mom and Dad have asked for help in the store and I've still got the whole week open."

"So…Monday, Wednesday and Friday work for everyone?" Kakashi asked, looking at each of us. "And Daisuke, we'll try to squeeze in some missions for you. We want you as strong as possible when the exams hit."

"I appreciate that," I answered with a smile. "Thanks, Sensei."

"Alright, so for this training session…" Kakashi started laying out a game of hide and seek, which we'd use to train up Hisako and Nichiren in _survival_ training. Since I didn't need to eat anything or stuff, I was being handed the task of being a 'pursuer', hunting down my two teammates with the express purpose of tagging. After I tag them, they had immunity from being tagged again for an hour, giving them enough time to hide since I was supposed to go look for the other teammate afterwards.

This game, with each of our levels of stealth training, was going to take all day. Kakashi wanted that too, since he gave them both an hour's head start.

"See you later, Daisuke," Hisako waved and the two disappeared in opposing directions into the forest.

"See you," I waved back.

 _Quest Added: Training Exercise: Hide and Seek!_

 _Tag Hisako 10 Times: (0/10)._

 _Tag Nichiren 10 Times: (0/10)._

"So, this exercise is supposed to be an emulation of what it's like behind enemy lines?" I asked, lowering my goggles over my eyes.

"Yup, with you, a relentless hunter being the large number of enemy forces which could swoop in on them at any moment," Kakashi replied with an eye-smile. "I don't want my cute little Genin to think that I left them with nothing once they've grown up."

"You've given us plenty, Sensei," I replied with a blink. "Well, given plenty to Nichiren and Hisako. And I guess I've learned a few things about picking my fights. I guess."

"You guess," Kakashi actually chuckled. Then his eye narrowed. "Don't kill yourself out there, Daisuke."

"I won't," I replied.

" _I'm serious, Daisuke_ ," Kakashi got very, very serious, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Promise me. Promise me you won't do anything stupid to get yourself killed."

I blinked. Once. Twice. "Alright, I promise."

"Thank you," Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief.

"So…I'm going to wait out the hour-long waiting period," I replied, shrugging my shoulder. "By meditating, I mean. So, if there's nothing else."

"No, no. Nothing else," Kakashi said, eye-smiling again. "Good luck."

* * *

 _Author's Notes: I think, and don't quote me on this, but I think we've got one more chapter before it's time to get to the Chunin exams. Then after that, we'll have Daisuke's relatively brief career as a Chunin before getting promoted to Jounin and then…I'm not sure after that. I'm just trying to get to the end of Act 1 in a natural and well-paced way before we get to Act 2, which I will be able to write in the way I intended as the…rewritten end of Act 1 that I had ended up writing changed a fundamental detail of Act 2 and things got screwy._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Trevor Fuhlman, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Valphrim _and_ Hackerham. _You guys are the best, thanks for making this possible._

 _Incidentally, I do need to explain what took so long. See, the past month, I've been having some…mental trouble. Depression. Which made it very, very hard to actually sit down and write. I had to take a break. I'm not_ cured _right now, I don't think mental illness ever truly goes away but I think…I'm_ stable _right now. Hence why I'm able to write._

 _Thank you again for your patience and I hope you enjoyed what you read._

 _~Fulcon_


	50. Interlude: Puzzles

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Hyuuga Hiashi was feeling more than a little smug.

He stood outside the Hokage's office, his arms folded in the sleeves of his robe with a stoic expression, his Byakugan turned off. But he didn't _need_ it turned on because he knew what was happening inside. The clan heads were getting lectured/chewed out because they had ignored the Hokage's direct order to _leave Shimoda alone_.

The fact that Hinata was only socializing with Naruto, and that Naruto had vouched for her, was the only reason he wasn't invited to this chewing out. Again, he was reaping the rewards of Hinata's increased self-esteem and his new approach to her. In a way, it was almost a _good_ thing that Orochimaru had created a race of abominable fish monsters that kidnapped his daughter.

Hiashi shook his head slightly. Sometimes the strangest thoughts could cross one's mind.

The door opened and the other clan heads began filing out as fast as dignity would allow. Hiashi noted that Inoichi looked the most shamed and humiliated. Whether the Hokage had singled him out for retribution or not was irrelevant, it was his daughter that had started all of this.

When the clan heads had finished passing down the stairs, Hiashi knocked on the door.

"Enter," The Hokage's voice came from the other side.

Hiashi did so, granting the Hokage the respectful bow that he was entitled to. "Hokage-sama, I hope it's not a bad time for a visit."

"No, no. Your company is quite welcome," The Hokage said, slipping his pipe into his mouth. "What can I do for you?"

"I merely had a few questions regarding Shimoda," Hiashi supplied easily.

The Hokage took a breath and held in an irritated sigh. "Yes, what is it?"

"All of the clans are aware of a time when Shimoda is no longer going to be socially crippled," Hiashi began, carefully examining the Hokage's face for signs of offense or weariness. "I wanted to know what the plan was, Hokage-sama?"

"I am in discussion of the particular's with Shimoda's Jounin-sensei," The Hokage replied evenly. "If you have concerns you wish to add to the discussion, I would hear them."

"I'll be brief, then," Hiashi replied with a small breath. "In the past, Shimoda has demonstrated a startling lack of caution, hasty judgement and demonstrably violent disposition. In some cases, these are all called for, such as when he saved my daughter. But in most others…"

The Hokage motioned for him to continue.

"These habits have been built up over his relatively brief lifetime because of his nigh-unkillable nature," Hiashi continued in earnest. "Combined with his inability to get all of the data he needs to make an informed decision, this has turned him into a danger to himself and others that needs to be handled with care."

"I am aware of all of this, Hiashi," The Hokage replied, taking another puff from his pipe. "What's your concern?"

"My concern is how these habits are going to come into play when he's finally not socially incapable," Hiashi replied with a frown. "Part of his stunted decision making comes from being unable to conceive how another might react in his place. When that weakness disappears and he sees things about his friends, the clans, Konoha? That he doesn't like? I want to know what the plan is to gently ease him into everything and deal with him if his violent tendencies act up."

"Valid concerns," The Hokage nodded. "I have thought of all of this and there is a plan. This power-up is not going to be a 'slow and gradual' thing. It's going to be all at once. We have thought about this, Hiashi. I promise you that every measure is being taken to make sure Konoha is kept safe _and_ that we don't lose one of our most valuable shinobi."

No details about the plan itself, but the reassurance was fair, Hiashi thought. "Then how may I assist."

"By continuing to do what you have been doing," The Hokage replied. "Give Shimoda no reason to think poorly of you and perhaps even revise some statutes within the clan that he might take serious objection too."

"Such as?" Hiashi asked with a frown.

"Given how easily he goes stir crazy and how banning him from missions was enough to force the first significant change since I've known him," The Hokage began. "I would say that he heavily values freedom."

Ah. Yes, _that_. "I see. That's not an easy thing to ask, Hokage-sama."

"I know that," The Hokage replied. "Decades of tradition, carried from one generation to another. One does not simply _undo_ all of that. But you did ask what you could do to help."

"I did," Hiashi replied. What could he do to help? Only the most difficult task he could imagine within clan politics. "I will look into it."

Code for 'it'll never happen' it may have been, the Hokage looked satisfied. "Very good. Is there anything else?"

"You don't object to Hinata associating with Naruto-kun, correct?" Hiashi asked. "I understand he's a politically sensitive target as well."

"Hiashi, yours is the only clan I actually trust to treat Naruto with respect at this current moment," The Hokage replied levelly, actually taking his pipe out of his mouth to respond. "Especially Hinata-chan. How is she doing at this moment, by the way?"

"She is doing well, thank you for asking," Hiashi replied. "I didn't have anything else, Hokage-sama."

"Dismissed," The Hokage nodded.

With that, Hiashi took his leave. The weight placed on his mind had wiped the smug smile off of his face.

He had considered the removal of the seal, once. After the death of his brother by unjust execution. But he had dismissed the idea after several days of mourning as impossible. It could be done after several generations of change and differing ideas, gradually shifting the paradigm to be one accepting the idea of the Main and Branch families as equals.

But if Shimoda, a shockingly powerful yet capricious and almost quixotic figure whom the clan owed a great debt of gratitude twice over might be moved to hostility over this tradition? Well, it wasn't something that was worth extinction, at least not as far as he was concerned.

Perhaps he should start exercising his long-term thinking muscles and start coming up with an actual plan.

* * *

"Are you going to start trying soon?" Anko bit out bitterly, shaking off her sparring partner's attempts to help her off the ground.

"I'm trying as hard as I need," Daisuke, ever frowning, ever staring, replied.

That was only the second time she had face-planted into the dirt. Spitting out a speck of dirt and gritting her teeth, she got back into her stance. She _knew_ she was weaker, but she couldn't be so down as to constantly lose to a Genin who couldn't even pick a girl to date.

She had heard the rumors, of course. The tall tales about how the Genin could apparently take the Fourth Hokage on in a straight fight and come out on top. But those were just rumors and as good as Daisuke was, the Fourth was the _Fourth._

As she was learning, though as she threw a punch and Daisuke merely slid out of the way while counter-attacking with a jab to her stomach, that perhaps there was a reason the rumors _existed_. Also, that he really liked hitting people in the stomach.

She dropped in to a sweep kick, which he merely jumped and kicked her in the shoulder, pushing into a back flip and landing on his feet. She fell over to her side and quickly jumped to her feet. She stretched her neck out briefly before sinking into another stance.

Anko hated being toyed with. "Why do you keep hitting me in the stomach?"

"It's my favorite target," Daisuke replied.

"Why?" Anko asked.

"When I hit something, people usually explode," Daisuke replied. "Hitting in the stomach means there's a lot of muscle and intestines and the explosion reverberates to the vital organs above and below. If the punch doesn't simply blow them into giblets, the vibrations tear holes into the targets lungs, heart, kidneys, liver and other vital organs. If I don't kill them in that fight, they are going to die afterwards."

Anko blinked as the image of her internal organs being vibrated apart by a single punch came into her mind. "Good to know."

Daisuke looked like he was going to say something else, but stopped and simply assumed a stance.

Anko grunted. She appreciated that. Less talk, more training. The more she could squeeze out of these training sessions, the less time she has to make up when she got too exhausted to continue training.

He waited for her to make the first move. She waited for him to make the first move and her shoulder started to itch and she rolled her shoulder to compensate.

Immediately, Daisuke charged forward, sliding on one foot with the other extended in a kick to her head. She shifted to the right to dodge and threw a punch at his exposed groin, only for him to slide in an orbit around her, counter-clockwise and spinning to bring his foot down on her head.

She balanced on one hand and blocked the foot, only for Daisuke to hop and kick her in the stomach with the other, sending her to the ground once again.

Again, the image of her internal organs getting shattered made the experience even less pleasant than it already was.

"Alright, we're taking a break," Daisuke said.

Anko groaned as she stood back up. "No, we're not."

"Yes, we are," Daisuke insisted, sitting down and pulling out a box of sushi-rolls.

Anko glared at him. "Fine."

She pulled out a box of dango and sat down. She stuck a stick in her mouth and pulled one of the balls off, letting the sweet ball of dough grace her tongue and made her mouth water. As she chewed, a thought came to her head. "Hey-"

Daisuke raised an eyebrow.

Anko raised a finger for him to wait while she chewed and swallowed the dango in her mouth. "Eh, sorry. I heard you don't need to eat."

"You heard right," Daisuke replied.

"But you can eat," Anko replied.

"Sushi's my favorite food," Daisuke replied. "Well, except for…never mind."

"Except for what?"

"Nothing," Daisuke said, eating a sushi roll.

"Come on, tell me!" Anko said teasing grin.

"No."

"Why not?" Anko asked with a pout.

"Because I don't want too," Daisuke replied, just a hint of…duress in his voice.

"Oh _fine_ ," Anko stuck her tongue out at him. "Sushi's your favorite food, except for mystery meal…whatever it is."

"Exactly," Daisuke nodded.

They both ate in silence for a few minutes.

"So, how are we doing for time?" Anko asked after swallowing her last dango.

"I think you can go on for another two hours," Daisuke replied, cracking his knuckles with a satisfying set of pops. "As long as we take a break in between the hours."

"Good," Anko said, massaging her legs and trying to push the soreness out of them. "I need to get back up to fighting shape as soon as possible."

"You're already pushing that envelope just by _being_ here," Daisuke answered, resting his chin on his close fist. "So, you don't need to worry about that. At all."

"Yes, I do," Anko replied. "Because I want to go to Suna for the Chunin exams."

Daisuke was silent for a minute. "Why?"

"Because the Genin that put my life back on track is going to be competing," Anko replied with a grin. "And I want to be there to support him. So, I'm getting back to fighting shape so I can actually go."

Daisuke slowly moved to rub the back of his head and look down at the ground. "Thanks, Anko."

* * *

Shikamaru was sitting at the shogi-table in his home. The shogi board and pieces were all shoved to a random corner in his room. On the table itself were numerous pieces of paper filled with numbers and graphs, all dedicated toward solving one particular mystery.

"Hey, Shikamaru," Chouji greeted as he walked into Shikamaru's room, bag of chips in his hand. "Woah. What are you doing?"

"Trying to figure out Daisuke's bloodline," Shikamaru grumbled over his interlocked fingers.

"Oh," Chouji said. Then he shook his head and ate a chip. "Wait, you're trying to make sense out of Daisuke?"

"He doesn't make any sense whatsoever," Shikamaru replied, not even looking up from his notes. "Power goes up in spurts. Skill is measured in percent from novice to total master. Total recovery from an hour's rest. I don't care what he calls it, what he has is no Kekkei Genkai."

"I don't see what the big deal is," Chouji shrugged. "Yeah, it's weird and he doesn't follow any of the same rules we do but why don't you just leave it to R&D?"

"Because if I don't figure this out, it's just going to annoy me every time I go cloud watching," Shikamaru replied with a frown. "It's troublesome."

"Wow, this is really bugging you, isn't it?" Chouji said, blinking and eating a chip.

"That, and Ino's been haranguing me to figure out this thing," Shikamaru replied with a sigh. "Troublesome girl."

"Yeah, that sounds like Ino," Chouji nodded, reaching for one of the slips of paper. "Can I?"

"Knock yourself out," Shikamaru replied, still looking at the others he had around.

Chouji picked one out and looked over it. "What's with the cup?"

He turned the paper around and pointed to a drawing of a cup. It was simply three lines with part of it colored in, but it had dozens and dozens of notes all pointing to it.

"I heard Dad talking about how Daisuke knows how close he is to death at all times," Shikamaru stretched in his chair. "And Daisuke has said that everything he does has something to do with numbers, so I end up wondering 'how does he measure it?', what does something like that look like? Does he have a percentage like with his skills or is it a base number that gets bigger or smaller over time?"

"I've got no idea," Chouji replied, laying the paper on the desk carefully. "…are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," Shikamaru replied, taking a breath. "I just got to figure this out. Then Ino can stop heckling me and I can go back to watching clouds and napping."

"What's this...Strength, Perception…" Chouji started, looking at it. "Where'd you get this?"

"Naruto helped a little," Shikamaru replied, looking it over. "Apparently, he has six categories of physical measurement. And luck. None of these things really affect his personality, I think, just his physical and mental ability."

"So…what are his numbers?" Chouji asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I can assume his Charisma is low," Shikamaru replied. "Probably as low as it gets. Then his Intelligence is high."

"Wait, he stinks at tactics." Chouji narrowed his eyes. "How does he have high intelligence?"

"You heard Naruto," Shikamaru said with a grumble. "He doesn't understand people. At all."

"I don't get it," Chouji responded, shaking his head.

"When you go to grab someone, what do you think about?" Shikamaru asked with a glare.

"Uh…focusing the chakra?" Chouji replied.

Shikamaru motioned for him to continue.

"Moving my arm," Chouji said. "And…where the guy I'm trying to grab is going to go."

"There you go," Shikamaru nodded. "If Daisuke had your jutsu, and he might already, given how he makes jutsu like candy, he would completely miss that last part because the charisma is, according to what I've got here, is how much ability he has to conceptualize what someone else will do or what they might be feeling."

"So…he literally can't imagine someone trying to dodge him or lure him into a trap or something," Chouji replied with a blink.

"He's got some ability _now_ ," Shikamaru replied. "Which is confusing. It means the stats I have scale with his…power spikes. Whatever he calls them."

Chouji hummed. "It looks like you've kind of got it all figured out. Sort of. What're you still trying to figure out?"

"I don't know. How it all fits together?" Shikamaru said, resting his head in his hands. "All of this is connected somehow on a conceptual level and I'm completely missing it."

Chouji took another chip. And ate it. "Have you tried…I don't know, figuring out where you stand on this system?"

Shikamaru hummed and grabbed another sheet of paper. "Let's see…four, eight, five, seven, ten, five and two."

"Only two Luck?" Chouji asked with a frown.

"I have Ino for a friend and she's making me spend my whole day trying to figure this out," Shikamaru replied. "And…here, just fifty percent in the combat skills. It's just a sample creation, so it doesn't matter."

"Right," Chouji said.

"So, then I make an enemy," Shikamaru continued. "Giant rat, missing nin, fish monster, whatever. Now I got to kill it."

"So move in and punch it 'till it explodes," Chouji said, looking inside his potato chip bag to see how much he had left. "That's what Daisuke does."

"Hypothetically, let's say I need a Taijutsu skill of…sixty to kill it," Shikamaru said with a hum. "It hits me and I get…half-way to dying. "Taijutsu didn't work, so try Ninjutsu. Shadow possession. I make whatever it is strangle itself. It dies and I get closer to a…power spike. Huh."

Shikamaru was staring at the paper with his approximation on. "I think I got it."

"So what is it?" Chouji asked.

"It's some kind of _game_ ," Shikamaru replied, taking a huge breath. "Daisuke's whole life is sort of like a game."

"Wow," Chouji breathed in with wide eyes at the magnitude of this discovery.

Shikamaru crumpled the paper up, threw it over his shoulder and stood up, placing his hands behind his head. "Figured it out. Awesome. I'm going cloud watching. You coming?"

"Right behind you," Chouji said as they both left the room.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Hm. I think I'm starting to find my groove again. I hope the next chapter won't take so long to write because entertaining people with my writing is one of the real joys in my life and it makes me feel good. I do want to take a minute to thank everyone who gave me emotional support. You guys are awesome and helped me feel better. Thank you._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Valphrim _and_ Hackerham. _You guys are awesome, thank you._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	51. Oasis in the Dunes

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"You're really leaving?" Naruto asked, looking a little sad.

"Yeah, heading off to Suna for the Chunin exams," I replied with a nod. "Going to see if I actually have what it takes to be a Chunin. I'll be gone at least a month and a half, depending on how long the trip takes."

"Wow. Well, I'll miss you," Naruto said with a smile. "Good luck, hope you do well."

"I do too," I said, pulling a rectangular-shaped present that had been gift-wrapped to perfection from my storage seals. "Also, I got something for you."

Naruto blinked at the sight of the package. "What for?"

"Because it's your birthday," I explained. "Or it's going to be. I'm going to be in Suna for it, so I decided to get you something early."

He tried to say something, but honestly didn't seem to be able too. Was Naruto actually speechless?

"So, uh…yeah. Happy Birthday, since I'm not going to be here for it," I said, handing Naruto the package I had carefully wrapped.

"Thanks Daisuke," He said, taking the package gingerly and carefully starting to unwrap it. That's…odd, I thought he'd be the type of person to just rip the package open. The contents came into view. "A collection of spices?"

"For your ramen," I explained. "You know, extra seasoning for your noodles if you don't want to use the stuff that comes with the package."

"Oh," Naruto said. Then his eyes started to get a bit wider. "Ohhhhhh. Okay! Thanks, Daisuke!"

"You're welcome," I said with a smile. The suggestion actually came from Hiashi Hyuuga who, surprisingly, has shot up to 'total bro' status with this one thing alone. I almost forgot about the Caged Bird seal nonsense from that alone, but one does not simply forget the Caged Bird Seal nonsense. "I'm happy I was able to get you a good gift, actually."

"I...honestly, I didn't think you knew when my birthday was," Naruto replied with a blink. Then he hurriedly smiled and tucked the spices under his arm. "Don't worry about it, though. This is perfect, thank you."

He didn't think I knew when his birthday was?

"Daisuke?" Naruto began.

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry about it," Naruto repeated forcefully. "The present is perfect, thank you. You're fine, I'll miss you when you're gone. Hope you make it through the exams."

"I…yeah, I do too," I replied with a forced smile. "Thanks, I'll miss you too."

I should've been getting him presents way before now. Where was my head at?

* * *

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level Up!**_

 _ **Level 24.**_

Well, you know what I realized? When I get almost Perfect, I'm going to get 10 extra points in every non-intelligence based skill, so maxing out all of those skill points? So, it would've been pointless if I wasn't going to max out all the skills anyway _without_ the boost, but it's good to know. I went ahead and grabbed the _Fire_ release element, leaving _Wind_ as my only hole and spent all 23 points in _Ranged Weaponry_ , bringing it up to _90_ without bonuses.

10,000 EXP flat until level 25.

So glad that heat doesn't bother me anymore.

The forests of Konoha had faded away into sandy desert hours ago and the sun, as awesome as it was, had declared this desert a 'no growth zone' as the heat beat down on everyone, making the sand beneath me radiate warmth that reached up through my boots.

It was still kind of annoying, though, so I had gone ahead and made myself a board that resembled half of a walnut shell and just surfed down the sand dunes which was a lot of fun. I think one of the things I actually enjoy a lot is finding new ways of locomotion or new methods of accomplishing the same locomotion because moving around really, really fast is, well, fun.

We were moving as one party, my team somewhere in the middle of the jounin escort that accompanied them. You know who else is accompanying us? Anko.

Yeah, I'm shocked. She _actually_ recovered more or less to completion before we had to go, garnering the Hokage's, the Doctors and my seal of approval for the trip. Honestly amazed. And happy to have her around.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/5._

…now that I think about it, the amount they're sweating might mean that this trip is very, very uncomfortable for them. Maybe I could offer that AC seal that I came up with? Might be good. But I don't want to upset Hisako, who _might_ still take issue with what I can do…in fact, I'm pretty sure she does.

Maybe I should offer anyway? I should offer anyway.

It was only a few minutes after I decided to offer before the Hokage stopped us all for a water break. We weren't technically in enemy territory and we were expected so I guess we could afford to stop. Since everyone else needed to drink to stave off dehydration, I guess it makes sense.

"So, guys," I started, sliding backwards with the group on my nut-shaped board up to the members of my team. "I developed a seal for temperature regulation. You guys want it?"

"How does it work?" Nichiren asked.

"It takes just a bit of your chakra and cools you down, meaning you can journey through the desert in comfort," I explained. "Would that be okay? You guys can remove the seal yourselves if you don't like the chakra-drain effect."

"Wait, how does that work?" Anko had sat beside Kakashi and Nichiren and asked that question with an analytical look on her face.

"Just feed some chakra into the center and the seal will break," I replied with a shrug. "Pretty easy."

"…okay," Anko said, cupping her chin in thought.

"You know what, sure," Nichiren said. "I'd like to try."

"Cool," I put my hand on his shoulder and wrote the seal there. The breaking point was in the center as advertised and the actual cooling part was a ring compacted into as thin a line as I could get it. "There you go. Anyone else?"

Hisako…slowly put her hand up. "I'd like one."

I put my hand on her shoulder, writing the seal there as well. My hand felt oddly tingly as I moved it.

After a second, she smiled. "Oh, yeah. That's _much_ better. Thanks!"

"You're welcome," I replied with a smile of my own. "Kakashi-sensei? Anko?"

"I'm fine, but thanks for offering," Kakashi eye-smiled.

"I'll pass, thanks," Anko said. "I appreciate the offer but I…don't feel like putting a seal on me right now."

"Alright," I replied with a shrug.

"Everyone, attention!" The Hokage called and we stood straight up. "The meeting place is just over the next dune. I want to remind everyone that we are _guests_ in their village. Do nothing to deliberately antagonize members of their village, am I understood?"

I raised my hand with a disconcerted look on my face.

"And Mitarashi, if you'd be in charge of chaperoning Shimoda-kun to make sure he doesn't accidentally start a war?" The Hokage added upon seeing my hand and face.

"You got it, Hokage-sama," Anko replied cheerfully.

Oh, good. I've got a chaperone. Yay.

"Does anyone have any questions before we head to the meeting point?" The Hokage asked, scanning the crowd, specifically the group of Chunin that had been shepherded in the center of the formation.

Ai, a redheaded applicant that was in my academy class raised her hand. I hadn't associated with her since she called me a know-it-all when I tried to help her with her chakra-control but maybe she's grown up a bit? "What kind of things should we avoid talking about?"

"Anything to do with how many missions we get or how economically prosperous our village has been," The Hokage answered. "The Suna Daimyo has shoved missions off to our village and left them to hang on multiple occasions. And they know it. Don't say a _thing_ , understand?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Everyone said at once.

Why do I get the feeling that perhaps Suna should've had a coup going if that was the case?

You know, I'm wondering if that might be what's going to happen soon. Or if something happened to stop it from happening in the series. That almost bears investigating, right? I mean, I'm really curious.

 _Quest Accepted: 1001 Tales._

 _Search for signs of a Coup against the Sand Daimyo: (0/3)._

 _(Optional: Find documents for each Great Shinobi War): (0/3)_

 _(Optional: Don't get spotted once)._

Okay, before I just gun it for-oh, we're moving.

The meeting place was at the bottom of a steep cliff where the Kazekage and two guards waited for us. I recognized one of the other guards immediately – red hair, giant gourd on his back, the darkest rings around a person's eyes that I had ever seen, Gaara of the Desert. He perked up for a second when the group arrived and began scanning the crowd. Wonder what he's looking for.

How much ryo would I bet that there was an army of Jounin at the top of that cliff waiting for something bad to happen? Anyway.

"Kazekage-dono," The Hokage and the Kazekage exchanged bows. "It is good to see you."

"Likewise, Hokage-dono," The Kazekage replied courteously but with no sense or trace of friendliness. At least I think he was being cool about this, I can't imagine he'd actually be happy to see the Hokage given the amount of business we're stealing.

Gaara's still scanning the crowd. What's he looking for?

You know, I wonder what the probabilities of having to fight Gaara are. Probably pretty good. I'd actually be sort of excited for that actually. I mean in the series he was built up to be this almighty lord of the sand that was nigh unbeatable. You know what that screams? Life-threatening challenge. You know what I live for? _Life-threatening challenges._

Not because I'm suicidal. Pretty sure I dispelled that myth a long time ago. Just that there's an extra spike of adrenaline in there when your life is at stake that makes it way more fun. Anyway, better pay attention.

They exchanged further pleasantries and before long, a large line of Shinobi that was not visible showed up at the cliff, parting at the middle to grant us entry. We followed the Kazekage, his son and the other shinobi, whatever his name was, up the cliff and over, laying eyes on Sunagakure for the first time.

It was a city in a bowl and I wondered how bad sand-storms ravaged it when they kicked up. But the tanned, domed buildings were a far-cry from the wheels on squares design philosophy of Konoha buildings. Suna's buildings actually reminded me of honey-pots from my old world, actually. Not sure why, but they did.

Honestly, I enjoyed seeing it. Not going to lie, I did like Konoha, but after almost thirteen years of seeing the same place, it was nice to have a change. And a change it was, the city was literally made of sand. Well, hardened sand. Brick. Likely made through Sand Jutsu.

Going on with that last thought, that quest. I don't want to just go through with this, giving it the old college try and likely starting a war by just not thinking it through. I don't want to risk a war just because I was impatient for a few extra EXP points. Danjuro would be _so_ disappointed if I did that.

But I am curious about the history that Suna has. It's account of what happened because I'm sure what got taught to me in history class was heavily edited to paint us in the best light possible and I have a problem with people editing history to promote political causes. So, in the interest of getting the complete picture…I should do this quest.

But is it worth possibly starting a war with perhaps our biggest allies?

I can be patient.

Let's wait until after the exams and port back here. By then I'll have maxed out _Sneak_ and I'll be able to move around without risking detection. Because as much fun as a war would be, and I'm ashamed to admit the last war I was in might've been the best thing that ever happened to me, I don't want my friends in the middle of one.

Actually, while I'm on that subject, would I even be able to fight a war? One that I don't agree with? I'm 100% capable of disobeying orders, this I know for a fact and the only reason I fought alongside the penguins besides desperation for EXP was because I'm against genocide. Like, I really, really don't like the idea of genocide. But if we went to war, there's a good chance that there would not be a peaceful outcome.

Naruto, after all, could fail. He didn't in the manga, but he's only human. Heck, I'm most certainly _not_ human anymore and I could still fail any number of tasks. Skill check or not, I'm not omniscient.

"Daisuke?" Hisako asked quietly, nudging me with her elbow.

"Hm?" I turned to her.

"Are you okay? You look like you're…" Hisako paused before completing the sentence. "Crying."

"Wha-?" I brought a hand to my face and…huh. That is a tear. "That's weird. Eh, I'm fine. Thanks for asking, Hisako."

She looked at me quizzically then had a sort of…dawning realization draw on her face. What? "Yeah, no problem."

Odd.

We handed our passports in at the gate as instructed and were then shortly thereafter shepherded over to a hotel that had been prepared ahead of time for us to stay here. Honestly, it reminded me more of a lodge – there was a lobby with almost a dozen rooms branching off of it and there was more than one of these lobbies, so it was just me, my team, and Anko in this particular wing.

The lobby had the bare necessities for guests, couches which became futons, a game table with chairs around it, a fireplace, etc. I stood to the side of the couch looking around while Hisako laid down on it folding her arms behind the pillow she rested her head on. Kakashi and Nichiren sat down on the sofas and Anko sat on the spot of the couch that Hisako did not take up, throwing her feet up on the coffee table.

"Well, that was a fun trip," Nichiren sighed, taking his glasses off and started cleaning them. "I've never been in the desert before."

"Here I thought Konoha got hot," Hisako took a breath, looking up at me with a grateful smile. "Thanks for the seal, Daisuke-kun."

"You're welcome," I replied with a nod. "It was really easy to make."

See, it's weird. I don't think I like her, then something happens and I find myself daydreaming about her, then Ino tried things and then I thought I might've liked her but what I really want to do is take Anko or Ayame or someone closer to my age group but then I still want to date Hisako for some strange, inexplicable reason and…you know what, this is why I decided to wait until _Almost Perfect_. This relationship crap is too confusing for me and I don't like it. Sure a relationship right now _might_ make me happy but right now all it's doing is sending me into an emotional tailspin. That's _with_ Charisma scaling with my level, I might add.

"So, are you three excited?" Anko asked with this big, sadistic smile on her face that I've come accustomed to seeing from her. You know, when she wasn't ridiculously happy that I had brought her dango.

"I'm excited that I _might_ be able to do missions on my own," I shrugged. Not going to lie, even with my increased emphasis on learning how to work with other people, going on my own would be…much less complicated. "After this, I mean."

"What, you don't like having us around?" Hisako pouted, her hands behind her head and clutching the pillow against her scalp.

"Uh, well, uh, see what I mean is-" I hate you, hormones. Make my brain go fuzzy, why don't you?

"I'm kidding," Hisako smiled. "Yeah, I understand. I've been wanting to try some solo missions myself, actually."

"Usually solo missions are reserved for Special and regular Jounin," Kakashi-sensei corrected, his eye half-closed in irritation. "So, don't go thinking your free to do whatever you want."

My head snapped to him. "Wait, you're kidding."

"Nope," Kakashi shook his head. "I mean, it's not going to be the same three people going on missions together each time, but it is a team."

I groaned in irritation. "Fine. That sucks."

"That just means we might all be doing missions together again, right?" Nichiren asked with a grin.

"I hope so," Hisako replied. "I like my team."

"I probably won't be with you," Kakashi replied with an eye-smile. "Because you need to learn how to function without me, my cute little Genin."

"It won't be the same without you, Sensei," Nichiren told him with a sad smile.

"Besides, it might not take you long to make Jounin," Anko offered from her position on the couch. "The way I hear it, you've all done missions that would be given at that paygrade anyway, right?"

"Yup," Nichiren nodded.

"Eh, if you do well as Chunin, you'll probably just get field promoted, then," Anko shrugged. "I'd do that if it were up to me."

"That'd be great," Hisako sighed. "Be jounin before thirteen. That was when you became a Jounin, right Sensei?"

"That's actually when I got into ANBU," Kakashi replied with an eye-smile. "So…not quite, but it's still impressive, Hisako-chan."

"Thanks, Sensei," She still looked disappointed.

"So, I brought a deck of cards," Anko said, whipping out said deck from nowhere like she was a freakin' magician. "You kid's ever play poker?"

My eyebrow twitched, but I don't think Anko noticed.

"Didn't sensei tell us no gambling?" Nichiren asked, his brow knitting in concern.

Kakashi shrugged. "If you make Chunin, you won't be beholden to me anymore and you might need to gamble on a mission of some kind."

"We gambling for actual money?" I asked with a frown.

"If you're brave enough," Anko replied with a sly smile on her face.

"Gonna pass then," I replied with a shrug. I had max luck, which meant I automatically won games of chance. As much fun as it was, I had enough awareness that my friends wouldn't take kindly to being cleaned out.

"We don't have to use actual money," Kakashi's eye narrowed at Anko. "Besides, you're stressed enough as it is with the exams. Right, Anko?"

"Right. Yeah, totally," Anko nodded rapidly. "I brought chips we can use too."

She produced the box, a rectangular thing made of very high-quality wood.

"I'll pass," I said with a frown, turning on my heel. "I'm going to my room. It was a long trip, right?"

"Yeah," Hisako nodded.

"Go ahead and…decompress, Daisuke," Kakashi added and I slid off to the room that I had designated as mine.

Inside, was simple. Desk, chair, futon. Easy. First, put FTG seal under the carpet, then lock the door, then put a seal on the door and window to let me know if either are being opened. Now none of the other Chunin exam applicants were Hyuuga, so I was able to create a clone.

"Nap time?" It asked me quietly.

"Yup. Off to the vault," I replied before porting straight there.

 _Ahhhhhhh…_

When I get here, it's always like a sigh of relief. A better future underground indeed.

Now what was it that I had? Right, I had fire in my tool belt, which means that I need to find out what the combinations with fire do. I'm also in Suna, so I need a seal that filters poisons because I want to make their puppeteering corps. cry and give it to my teammates. And the other teams too, even though one of them called me a name a few years ago. Doesn't mean she deserves to be poisoned to death, just punched in the face.

And who knows, maybe I'll get my chance.

Okay, uh…blood-type's not going to be an issue, will it? No. Mass and body weight…might be taxing on their chakra but unless they're literally bombarded with a poison-nuke or something it should be negligable. So…

 _+1200 EXP._

8,800 more EXP until level 25.

Alright, one poison-filter ready for application. This'll get my team through the Chunin exams. I'll make something later that they can turn on and turn off and I'll have to explain what to do if the seal gets damaged.

Actually, is there a seal I can write that would transfer damage to them to my skeleton? Well, there is. It would just be extremely chakra intensive. On them. Lethally so. So no, no indestructible seal for my friends. Sad.

Chakra Exhaustion is no joke.

Next, let's figure out some of the Fire combinations. First, Earth and Lightning _._

 _You have unlocked Explosion Release!_

 _+1200 EXP._

Oh, wow. Explosion release. Combined with explosion…actually, hang on. I need a name for my fighting style. _Grenade Fu? Red Gibbing Fist? The Bloody Mess Style?_ Whatever. Point is, my punches are going to be even better.

Fire and…Water.

 _+1200 EXP._

 _You have unlocked Boil Release!_

…okaaaaay then. What's the point of this? I already have Acid. And Acid is literally better in anyway. Like…you know Waterbenders? From Avatar: The Last Airbender? Imagine everything they can do, but with the ability to generate and manipulate the most caustic and corrosive material that I've ever had the privilege to work with. I mean, that stuff burned through my vaults lab table, the floor and then through _three feet of solid stone beneath that_.

Given how it ate through my vault like it did, it likely goes through chakra enhanced materials too. Like Gaara's sand, which if I'm forced to fight him, would be very, very handy.

Fire and Earth next.

 _+1200 EXP._

 _You have unlocked Volcanic Release!_

You know, the text books I read mentioned a theoretical Lava Release. I wonder why the game changed it. More honest perhaps?

Next, _Fire and Lightning._

 _+1200 EXP._

 _You have unlocked Plasma Release!_

Ooh, now we're talking. Nice, glowing green aesthetic…that was just like Acid release. Only this was on fire. Well, kind of on fire. It's directly from Fallout, basically. Same look and feel, which is interesting and raises a question: Was it like that already or did the game make it that way because I invented the combination?

Or is it just assets being reused?

Not sure I'll ever answer the question, but let's move on.

4,000 until level 25. Fun.

Now, the tri combo…Fire, Earth and Lighting?

 _+2400 EXP._

 _You have unlocked Fission Release!_

Fission Release. As in Nuclear capability. As in the single most _Fallout_ thing that I have in my arsenal. That…holy cow. This isn't _Fusion Release_ , so it's not like I can make anything now. This is _Fission_. As in the same process which causes nuclear explosions. This…is my new favorite. I may be trying to go for a peaceful run now, but I can appreciate having a nuclear weapon at my beck and call.

I have _nukes_. _Nukes_. This actually almost makes me regret trying harder for pacifist…well, it's not like I have to follow the _no kill_ guideline to the letter, right? There are people that deserve the complete and total annihilation that I can now provide them. There's got to be one such disgusting, black-stained soul that can only be cleansed by the bright, burning light of a nuclear bomb, right?

 _Orochimaru is one such soul._

Ohohohoho… _yes_. Wipe out the snake with a Fatman? Yes please. Most certainly. Let's go make a jutsu right now!

I ran down the stairs, past the robotics bay where my incomplete Mr. Handy laid on the floor in pieces and into the target range. I popped my knuckles and grinned.

 _Yamato Cannon_.

 _+600 EXP._

Inspired by Starcraft, the ball of glowing red energy flew from my hands and engulfed the _entire end wall_ in devastating heat, setting the wood on fire and causing the garbled sound of ticking and static that I hadn't heard in _so long_ to fill my ears.

I didn't even know I _had_ a Geiger Counter.

My mouth fell open as the counter faded away and it came to my attention that I had just taken rads. I'm going to need to be very careful with this nuclear jutsu. To many rads and I'll die right away.

And I'll need to put out the fires currently engulfing my shooting range. Yeah, that'd be important.

 _Hydro Pump!_

Volcanic Release to store the melted stone below in a seal…

 _Lava Scoop…_ that is such a bad name.

 _+300 EXP._

700 until level 25. So at least two more jutsu, unless I decide to make a big one, which I might. Probably won't make a huge Fission Release one because that could turn accidentally suicidal. But before I do that, I want to take care of the rads.

Wood release was perhaps the best crafting investment I've ever made. I took a turn down the right corridor into the hydroponics garden that I had made, seals keeping everything running smoothly. A glowing fungus that I figured would have enough anti-radiation juices floating around that I started growing for novelties sake was picked and I took the stalks over to the chemistry station I had rigged up to produce stimpacks and got to work. In about twenty minutes, helped along by jutsu, the dose was ready and I, using a wood-release based needle, injected it into my arm.

My Geiger-counter showed up again, this time showing what little rads I had sink to zero before disappearing again.

I almost wanted to dose myself with rads again, just to hear the familiar sound of the Geiger counter. Almost, but no. That's a little much.

You know, if I'm going to be using a lot of _Fission Release_ , and I am, I need to make room foreither _Rad Absorption_ or _Irradiated Beauty_. Since I had a pair of vacancies show up, I think either one of them can slide right on in without issue. Should I pick one or the other or both? Rad Absorption simply takes rads down no matter what as long as I'm not being exposed and Irradiated Beauty lets my sleeping remove all my rads.

…maybe _Absorption_ , since I don't plan on sleeping a lot. If I'm sleeping, I've been taking damage, and that's not a good thing. Also, creating a seal-based defense against my own radiation…may actually remove the need for those perks entirely. Huh.

Anyway, I've 700 more exp until I level so…an A-rank jutsu would just finish it right off. I don't think there's a jutsu that'll turn Radiation into health like the Perk _Ghoulish_ does, but there _is_ a jutsu that'll just keep it off of me at the expense of chakra, which isn't too bad.

 _+600 EXP._

Alright, just 100 more. As I walked back up to the targeting range, I was thinking.

You know, I haven't actually hit the most powerful jutsu I can create. The ones that, conceivably, would do damage in the trillions of points. The reason being that those are most likely suicide jutsu, jutsu that would burn my body up or disintegrate me or turn me into a living bomb. The only things that would be left would be the adamantium that currently covers my skeleton. Not the skeleton, the metal that _covers_ the skeleton.

I can't really think of any reason I'd ever use a jutsu like that, so no point in thinking about it anymore.

How about a Fission Flak Cannon?

Yeah, there we go. That'd be kind of cool!

 _Fission Flak Cannon!_

 _+300 EXP._

Exploding into scattered bits of yellow light off in the distance of the target range, the cannon did its job. Probably best against a swarm of enemies, like clones or something. I'd _never_ use a fission jutsu on Naruto…ugh…

Memories of the vision I had at the monster house filled my mind, watching Naruto die of radiation poisoning…no. Nope. Even if we ended up as enemies for some reason that I can't fathom, I'm never using a Fission Jutsu on him. Even if it costs me the fight.

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level Up!**_

 _Level 25!_

Finish _Sneak,_ bringing it up to 100. Put the remaining _3_ points into Genjutsu since, as distasteful as I find the subject, I need to bring it up so that I could afford my epic level perks later on. So it goes from _70_ to _73._

10,550 more EXP until level 26.

Alright, there goes that.

* * *

I arrived back at the room and dispelled the clone without a thought. Okay, nothing happened, he was just having a weird dream about unicorns, cars and _Christmas_.

…oh man. I haven't thought about Christmas in forever. It's even December. The Elemental Nations, naturally, didn't have a Christmas. Or a Hanukah. Or Kwanza. Or even a Festivus (another thing I haven't thought about in a while). It was just business as usual. Man, it's been a while…you know what my favorite Christmas song is? _I'll be home for Christmas_ …oh, man. Now I'm getting emotional.

There was a knock at the door.

I slid over and opened it and…there was Hisako. She was dressed, sans jacket and she looked…concerned. "Daisuke, hey…were you asleep? I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine," I replied with a shrug. "I just got up. What do you need?"

"Well…" She started, looking concerned. "I wanted to apologize."

I blinked. "For what?"

"For the book club," She answered, taking a deep breath and letting it out. "You really just wanted to talk about books and I…helped turn it into an argument with Ino about…stuff. I didn't mean for it to turn into that and…I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I replied with a shrug. "I don't think you wanted to turn it into an argument."

"But, I kind of did…" She replied quietly.

"Why?" I asked, my eyes narrowing.

"Well…Ino was just…trying to score points with you," Hisako explained with a shrug. "And I got mad about it and as a result, ruined your effort to expand your social network. I'm really sorry."

"Score points-?" I started before cutting myself. "I don't think you invited every single clan to the group meeting. I mean, yeah, it was a little annoying how you and Ino were forgetting details about the book we were talking about, but it becoming a circus wasn't your fault. At all. That's what I was mad about."

Hisako blinked. "Thanks, Daisuke…that actually made me feel better."

"I almost can't believe it turned out that way," I replied with half-closed eyes. "…did you need anything else?"

"Well, I also wanted to say sorry about," Hisako began with a frown, letting out another breath. "How much grief I gave you over your bloodline and your…difficulties. With people."

"But my bloodline and difficulties with people caused _you_ a lot of grief," I replied with a blink. "I figured we were even."

"No, not at all," Hisako shook her head. "At first, I thought it was so unfair you could do so much impossible stuff just by existing and I hated that that much power wound up in the hands of someone who can make you feel terrible just be being around you."

"Sorry about that," I replied automatically.

"No, no. Stop, let me finish," She waved it off. "I…realized that you had a lot of problems because of your difficulties and that the power you have came at the _cost_ of being terrible with people."

"That's putting it mildly, yes," I replied. She wasn't wrong. My power _did_ come with a cost. I lost my life, my family, my friends, my culture, my civilization. All of that.

"And I didn't realize that," She said after a minute of holding her tongue. "So, I'm very, very sorry for being so unfair to you and I hope that I can…help you be happy in the future. Or at least just be a good friend."

"Hisako, I appreciate it," I said, trying to be diplomatic. "But being…handicapped the way I am doesn't change the fact that I hurt people. Hurt you. And I'm sorry for that. It's…part of why I'm dreading the social powerup, actually. I'm going to be able to see all the myriad ways that I caused people duress."

"Oh," Her shoulders drooped. "You shouldn't really dwell on it, you couldn't help any of that."

"I could've," I replied with a blink. "If I hadn't sacrificed my social ability for insane amounts of luck."

"You…when did you do this?" Hisako asked with a deep frown.

"I was in the orphanage," I explained. "I was only a year old when I was able to…lay out my initial set of powers. I wasn't talking to anyone that much, no one really seemed interested in talking to me, I doubted I'd ever get adopted and I didn't think charisma actually did anything. So…charisma became the dump stat and Luck was brought up nearly to max."

Hisako was blinking. "…you must've hated yourself for doing that."

"On more than one occasion, yes," I replied with a sigh. "So yes. I'm sorry."

"So, we're both sorry for stuff we did," Hisako replied. "Can we accept our apologies and move on with our lives?"

"Sure. I accept your apology," I said, shrugging.

"And I accept yours," Hisako replied with a smile. Then she gestured down to the table in the lobby. "We're still playing cards…you want to join us now?"

I blinked, and looked at her. She was still smiling, holding the gesture out to the table, her black eyes locked on mine.

"Sure," I answered. "I can play a hand or two. I guess."

Her smile got wider and I followed her down the stairs.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: The previous Chunin Exams were written in a rush. I was on a three chapter a week schedule in combination with an original work I was trying to write two chapters a week for. So the previous incarnation was rushed and while there were some good stuff, there was also more…fluff than I would like. Also, the inclusion of Anko felt arbitrary since I didn't expound on Daisuke's growing friendship with her. This time, I hope things felt more natural and that you all enjoyed the added content – 1001 tales is a new addition and will help shape the close of act 1._

 _At a later date, I'll update the character sheet those on the forums have access too and to my friends on FF, I'll post a completed character sheet down here. Thanks for your patience._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba _and_ Hackerham. _You guys are awesome. Thank you._

 _I hope everyone reading this had a good Thanksgiving whenever that might've been._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	52. Who turned out the lights?

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"Royal flush," I announced, laying my cards on the table.

"That's the third one," Anko replied, her jaw metaphorically on the floor. "I…how?"

"I wasn't kidding about my luck," I explained. I stood up and took out the guitar. "And I think that was my last game. You guys want some music or something while you play?"

Hisako gasped with a huge grin on her face. "You brought the guitar!"

"I did," I nodded, sitting on one of the couch's arms and starting to strum. "I _think_ I'm pretty good with it now. So…background music?"

"Yes please," Hisako nodded enthusiastically.

"Sure," Nichiren replied with a nod of his own.

With that, I started playing the amazing and great tune that was Black Sabbath's _Iron Man_. Didn't try the lyrics because they didn't make any sense when translated and I couldn't sing worth anything. But strumming the guitar? I could do that. And I _earned_ that.

"So, sensei. Mitarashi-san," Nichiren started. "What can we expect from the tests? They're going to be fair, right?"

"As fair as can be expected from Shinobi," Kakashi replied with an amused look in his single eye.

"Are they the same tests across all villages?" I asked with a frown. "If we fail in the tests here, could we expect similar trials in our village in the next round?"

"Well, _yes_ ," Kakashi admitted with a nod. "The Chunin exams have all been designed by and agreed upon by each of the villages. Each Chunin exam is roughly the same, only modified by location and the applicants themselves."

Oh. So, the idea that each village had its own individual exam is fanon. That's…odd. I'm actually a little disappointed. I thought I was going to have to do something new and exciting and all I'm doing…is retreading canon. In a new place, sure, but…retreading canon, man. I thought I was immune to that slog for another six months at least.

I swear if Naruto has to go through the wave mission one more time I'll, I don't know, _actually_ go C'thulhu and just scrub the whole thing. Except the bridge. And the people working on the bridge. They're okay.

You know, I have to wonder what the odds are for Orochimaru being here for these exams? I mean, he _has_ to have heard of me and want to body-jack me as disconcerting as that thought is. Him and his little mole, Kabuto. Actually, come to think of it, didn't Kabuto take the Chunin exams seven times?

Wait, where _is_ he? He wasn't in the group that came with us- _oh, that's right!_ Kabuto got busted for being a member of ROOT and he's on the run just like Danzo. Huh. Well, that's almost criminally lucky.

I found myself stopping the tune for just a second.

10 Luck really was the best investment I ever made. Totally worth the extra perk point at level 2 to bring it up to 10. Just…wow. Just by existing, everything is falling into place perfectly, way better than it ever did in canon.

"Daisuke, you okay?" Anko asked from her spot at the table.

"Yeah, just zoned out for a minute," I replied, resuming the tune.

I mean, the only reason I haven't put perk points into charisma is that it's a waste of potential. With only have 25 perks to obtain, I don't want to waste nine of them bringing the stat up to where it needs to be when only one would suffice.

Soon, the Hokage arrived. "I'm glad to see that everyone is settling in."

We gave our greetings to Hokage-sama and he started to fill us in.

"So, in case any of you missed the briefing," The Hokage started. At first, I thought this was pointless since we were all at the briefing but then I remembered that I had the tendency to zone out at the oddest times so this explanation might be just for me. "The exam is divided into three parts. The first is a written exam to test your information gathering skills, the second a survival test to see how you operate behind enemy lines and the third is a tournament show piece where you demonstrate your capabilities to clients so they're more likely to hire us for missions. Any questions?"

Nope. It seemed pretty straight forward.

"Where's the second test being held, exactly?" Hisako asked, her hand up.

"A training ground they've come to call _The Blood Dunes_ ," The Hokage replied. "Apparently, they have an infestation of something called Blood Worms that appeared over there since the last time we've been here for the exams."

If that thing doesn't turn out to be just one big shout-out to _Dune_ , I'm going to be disappointed. I haven't even read the book or seen the movie, but I know 'giant worms' when I hear them and that sounds like giant worms.

"Realistically, how hard are these exams going to be?" Nichiren asked with his hand up.

"I would keep your guard up," The Hokage replied. He started to chuckle. "But I don't see how this would be very difficult. Each of you stand head and shoulders above the other contenders, enough that we simply considered field promoting you to avoid potential complications."

"Then why did you want to risk those complications from arising?" I asked with a blink, setting my guitar aside.

"We wanted to show you off for the exams," The Hokage answered with this huge grin directed at me. "I'll consider it worth it if the other villages don't see work for a year."

"Oh, got it," I replied. Wait, wasn't Sand in dire economic straights? If they're our allies, why is he trying to make the situation worse?

"What other villages showed up?" Nichiren asked.

"The only two we're worried about are Hidden Rock and Hidden Cloud," The Hokage replied. "So while none of the examinee's here can stand a chance against you, you are to watch out for any attempts at sabotage and _no deliberately springing any traps_."

"Awww…" I groaned. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

"It's for your own protection," The Hokage nodded, his mouth pressed in the firm line. "Unless poison doesn't affect you?"

I can just _feel_ the Cazador venom piercing my veins and bringing my health down as I'm repeatedly stung by a swarm of impossible-to-hit, giant mutated wasps. "No, poison is definitely a problem. Well, unless I put on a poison-filtering seal."

"A poison filtering seal," Anko repeated. "You've got one of those."

"Yeah, I came up with it last night," I replied with a nod. Then I placed the seal on my chest. "There we go. Now I'm immune to poison."

Anko started sputtering and pointing at me, as if that one move had completely and totally rendered her lost and confused.

"What's the chakra drain on it like?" The Hokage asked.

"…moderate," I replied after a moments consideration. "Well, none until I get poisoned but then I just recover what I lose in a few seconds."

"Hm. I'm not sure it's a good idea to place it on anyone else, then," The Hokage said. "A moderate drain wouldn't be good on someone with finite reserves, a dedicated use of poison could inflict them with chakra exhaustion on accident."

I frowned. "That's unfortunate. I was hoping to render my teammates immune."

"It's a shame," The Hokage said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Now, I think everyone should get some rest, it's been a long trip and the exams start tomorrow."

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

* * *

The exam building was multi-storied and, as what happened in canon last time, there was a Genjutsu on the floor below the exam floor and the floor was _packed_ with people trying to find the exam room and failing miserably.

"There's a Genjutsu on the floor," Hisako whispered to us. "I think we should just leave it there. Less competition means it's easier for us to move on, right?"

"Makes sense," Nichiren nodded.

There was a time, long ago, when the suggestion of cheating would have me recoil in disgust because I believed that everyone deserved a fair shot. I didn't now because I had spent the past six months being a true-blue _ninja_ who believed playing fair was for schmucks and this is actually a test of how good the applicants are at getting around cheap tricks like that.

We left it and went up another floor.

"Hey, I've got an idea," Hisako said, snapping her fingers with a sudden smile. "Let's make another Genjutsu, switch these two rooms and narrow the competition down even further."

"Good idea," Nichiren replied.

Inwardly, I balked. "This might sound odd coming from me, but I don't like cheating."

"We're ninjas," Hisako replied with a raised eyebrow.

"And we all deserve a fair chance for promotion," I replied with a nod. "I know how it sounds coming from _me_ , but I don't like the idea of using a dumb trick to get ahead."

"Well, the fewer genin that make it through, the fewer people that'll be trying to kill us later," Nichiren explained with a nod. "I like increasing the odds of living. Even if it delays a power spike…sorry, Daisuke."

"Besides, if they can't dispel this Genjutsu, they probably won't survive being chunin," Hisako shrugged. "We might end up saving their lives by weeding out the weak."

…they had me. "Alright, you want to do it or shall I?"

"I got it." Hisako brought her hands together in the seals needed and produced a _reasonably_ strong Genjutsu, switching two of the rooms around. We entered and saw that only one other team made it besides us, all sitting scattered around the classroom.

Still didn't like it, but surprisingly, I was okay with the saving lives aspect of denying promotion.

"Alright, guys?" I started, grabbing them both by the shoulders. "Would you guys be okay with me just handling the written exam?"

"I thought you didn't like cheating," Hisako replied with a wry smile.

"I don't like it," I whispered back. "But you're my teammates and I'm not going on without you."

"Aw, that's sweet," Hisako replied with a smile. "If you can sneak it past the proctors, sure."

"I'd actually really appreciate it," Nichiren said with a nod. "I, uh…don't do so well with written exams."

Our desks were assigned to us, our names written in the upper right corner. I sat down behind one of the ninjas, a guy with a brown shirt and…wait, is his arm made of wood?

It is!

His arm is made of wood! Well, it's an arm made and animated by Suna's famous puppeteering methods. It's a cybernetic arm. He is a cyborg ninja. That is actually insanely cool. Now all that remains is for him to be a pirate, which he could if he ever takes to the seas, and a zombie, which is totally possible here, and he'd be a ninja pirate zombie cyborg; the whole package.

But he's not so he isn't. Sad. I mean, he's still cool. I mean, the internet would have a field day with him if they knew about him. The memes _alone_ would flood the web and everyone would know that Naruto did, in fact, have a Ninja-Cyborg in its universe. Amazing.

Hisako and Nichiren took seats on opposite corners. I was around the middle-ish, Hisako was in the upper-left corner and Nichiren was in the back on the right. Gradually, other students started to trickle in I could hear others go into the room to the side. A little annoying, but I given how _I_ was nearly killed by a Genjutsu on my first mission I guess Hisako had a point. We were saving their lives.

Eventually, the proctor did walk in the door. He was a man with a turban-scarf _thing_ draped over one of his eyes. "Alright, welcome Genin. My name is Baki and I wish to congratulate you on making it to the first part of the exam. Those in the other rooms are now being informed-"

What sounded like riots exploded on the other sides of the walls, with shouts of anger and disbelief almost being intelligible inside our room.

"-that they have been disqualified for failing to make it to the exam on time," Baki finished.

He went on to explain the rules, which, as the Hokage had said, would be the same as in Konoha. Written exam, don't get caught cheating ten times. A little disappointing but it made sense – best to avoid diplomatic incidents over perceived slights, right? Right. The biggest difference, I think, will be in stage two where we're put through the environment and no-one can really help if the exams are in the mountains of Kumo or the forests of Konoha.

Good test of survival skills, though.

…mine are at a paltry 26. Uh oh.

Well, at least I have my team.

Wait, the exam started.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/7._

A little bit more difficult than I thought it should be, but then again, you're supposed to _steal_ the answers. They're not supposed to be figured out which means that Sakura really _is_ a genius and should be treated as such. I'll remember that when I get back to the village.

Shikamaru too, but I already had him figured for a genius so I don't need to treat him any differently.

Anyway, the plan to skirt my teammates through this exam hinged on the fact that I could get caught nine times before getting thrown out, so…

 _Chakra Control Check Success: 100/90._

 _You have unlocked Invisible Chakra Strings!_

 _+600 exp._

You know, Chakra-strings were visible by default simply because of the chakra concentration they were created light. Making them invisible required the strings to be both concentrated and threaded appropriately so that the light they generated remained _inside_ the string and never reached anyone's eyes. I stretched the strings out to Hisako and Nichiren's desk.

 _Sneak Check Success: 100/65._

No one saw the hand-signs, so here we go.

 _Darkness._

The room went pitch dark and amidst the sudden panic, I whisked the two tests of my teammates off to my desk along the strings and with a jutsu, filled out the tests with the correct answers and zipped the tests back to where they were supposed to be.

I rolled my eyes at the couple shouts of 'kai' that came about. This was a Ninjutsu, one that bound up all sources of light from entering the room, not a Genjutsu to be quickly dispelled.

9,950 more EXP until level 26.

So glad I figured out how to make actual ink with jutsu. Made paperwork a snap. The tests were returned and I lifted the jutsu. With that bit done, I took a look around and…yeah, Gaara is _not_ here. He is not participating in the exams, but I did get a look at the guy in front of me again, with his wooden, cybernetic arm.

You know what I miss from the old world? The internet. More particularly, fanfiction. See, I had tons and tons of books and writing all on one machine and if I ever needed entertainment, I'd just boot up my PC, head over to FFnet or Spacebattles or wherever and be able to read whatever. For free, too.

Honestly, I miss the internet in general. Youtube, FFnet…all that stuff. The internet is awesome. I should try to bring something like it to the elemental nations. Be able to talk with anyone, anywhere at any time feels like something they _need_ , especially with how…cloistered Konoha is. Sequestered.

It's kind of annoying. My trips to the vault are technically illegal because you aren't allowed to leave Konoha without, you know, leave unless you're a jounin. Even then, they want you to at least _tell_ them where you're going.

Anyway, once that part was done, Baki got up and gave us the tenth question that wasn't on the test. I was so proud of Hisako and Nichiren, neither of these kids stood up. But they did look at each other and at me. But they didn't stand.

One team stood up. Then another. Then more. Some from Konoha stood up, not wanting their chance at being a Chunin to be blown by a foreign power that didn't actually have any say in the matter. But then again, maybe they did or it was a real possibility that they could. Because things are never really what they seem in the Ninja world, are they? It could have been something that the Kage did, in fact, agree on because…I don't know why.

Anyway, we passed. Baki congratulated us for our commitment to being Shinobi – you know, on that note, once I get to max level, or even just to almost perfect, would I even _mind_ retiring? Right now, it's inconceivable, but there does come a time when, at the max level and nothing poses a threat or challenge to you that combat becomes, well…boring.

The game becomes boring.

The one part of this existence that I can truly say I enjoyed is going to become boring.

I…okay, I'll say it right now. Well, think it. I don't like that. I don't like that one bit.

The next proctor showed up, coming in through the front door instead of…I don't know, coming in through the window like, say, Anko would've done. She was this _gaunt_ old woman that towered over Baki with tired eyes and thin lips. She introduced herself as Emiko and told us to follow her to the next exam.

Honestly, I'm bored out of my skull and I can't _wait_ for the survival portion of this exam to be over.

* * *

"This is the sight of the exams," Emiko said, her arms held behind her. "We call these the _Dunes of Blood_."

Oh, it just looks like a random stretch of desert that's been fenced off. I wonder why- _HOLY CRAP_!

Out in the back, way off in the distance, a giant sand worm erupted out from the dunes in a tidal wave of sand, before sinking back down into the dunes. The Ninja around me were whispering in astonishment and awe at such a huge, magnificent creature.

Well! The Hokage wasn't kidding about _Blood Worms_. I guess it _is_ a shout-out to Dune and I'm happy! Now I just need that spice-drug…thing…whatever it was, I never read Dune. I know it was important somehow.

"The dunes get their names from the inhabitants," Emiko explained. "What you just saw was a _Blood Worm_ , the queen in fact. It is the largest of the inhabitants dozens of times over. In the center of the dunes lies a plateau with a fortress built into it."

She then explained about the heaven and earth scrolls and how we need them both so we'll need to fight the other teams to get the scrolls, yadda-yadda. I get it, hurry it up, I want to start stomping worms out.

One final thing," Emiko said. "Before we let you inside, some of you may have delusions of grandeur about killing the Queen Bloodworm. You are welcome to try. Others have thought as you have, and they were the queens next meal. They failed, and you will fail. Do not try to kill the Queen if you value your life."

But-but-but!

O _kay_. I guess if the fight with the queen turns out like how the Behemoth did in the sewers but _without_ a surprise Hokage to the rescue, it would be pretty bad. Really, really bad. I mean, I _might_ die, but Hisako and Nichiren _would_ die.

Our team was called up and we were given a Heaven scroll.

"So," Nichiren started, with a bit of…dread in his voice. "Are you excited."

"Oh yes," I nodded. "I am very, very excited."

Pest control, fighting an interesting enemy that in no way will I even feel bad about ever? Yes _please_.

"We're going to stick together for this one," Hisako asked, grabbing my arm. "Right? _Right_?"

"I'm not going after the queen without you guys," I replied with a sigh.

"So we're not going after the queen," Nichiren pressed forward with a worried look on his face.

"Nope," I replied with another, deeper sigh. "I guess not."

Again, probably for the best.

We got moved to our starting gate and after entering, it was shut behind us. We were in worm territory now. And not the _really_ fun kind of worm, that had bazooka's and infinite shells kind of worm. But blood worms, things I'm having a hard time believing were ever a part of the manga. Maybe they weren't?

So many things that I don't know where they came from.

"So, first things first," Nichiren started. "Daisuke, we need a way for you to reunite with us when you invariably get dragged off to somewhere awful."

I blinked. "Come on, it's not that bad."

"Yes, it is," Hisako retorted with a groan. "Monster house, you got dragged off by a giant cement monster. Our first C rank had you fighting an A-rank missing nin by yourself. In the sewers, you got _impaled_ by a trident made of rocks and rusty pipes. No matter what happens, we always end up separated."

"Okay, it is kind of that bad," I replied with another sigh. "Alright, give me a second."

With a wood-release, I created a pair of white arm-bands. They were technically made of a leaf, but they should be sturdy enough to endure the wear and tear we'll inevitably face fighting our way through the sands. Then, I drew FTG seals on it. "Here. Armbands with the Flying Thunder God seal on it. I get dragged away or eaten or whatever, and I'll just teleport back to you."

"How long have you been able to do _this_?" Hisako asked, eyes wide as she carefully placed the armband on her right arm.

"Since sometime after the sewers," I replied with a shrug. "The Hokage was about as shocked as you were."

"I'll bet he was," Hisako said. "Wait _this_ is how you've been disappearing?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you were using a Genjutsu," Hisako muttered to herself.

"Not really a fan of Genjutsu, to be honest," I replied with a shrug. "I mean, I can do it…but I'd rather my enemy _see_ the oncoming firestorm that's going to wipe them from the face of the earth. Make sense?"

"I guess," Hisako shrugged.

"This work, Nichiren?" I asked him.

His eyes narrowed. "Why don't you test it first?"

I ported to his side. Then to Hisako's side. Then back to where I was. "Satisfied?"

"Yup!" Nichiren smiled. "I think we're ready to go."

"Then let's not waste any time," Hisako nodded with a smile of her own.

And we moved off into the desert to start this second stage of the exam.

* * *

 _Author's Note: In the previous version of this chapter, I had squashed both of the first and second stages of the exam into a single chapter, using Cell 13's status as possible ringers to justify them steam rolling over everyone. Here, with this more…relaxed and deliberate pace I felt like giving each stage more content. The arrival in Suna had a quest added. The first stage had some alternate scenes with Anko and some small demonstration of Daisuke's luck that'll get more payoff later. The next stage will have some more, beefier stuff._

 _As usual, feel free to comment on this rewrite. I know the previous version of the Chunin exams had fans and I would like to know (if you read the previous version) if you are enjoying this new take on it and if there's anything you miss._

 _Finally, some on FFnet have noted that I don't really read reviews. This is incorrect. I read everything that comes through the system. My problem is that I'm really, really bad at_ responding _to reviews. I'll try my best to improve at this since I do appreciate feedback, even when it makes me want to kill a puppy._

 _Shout out goes out to Miu, thank you for your support, it means the world to me! You're awesome._

 _Shout out also goes out to Super Patrons_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba _and_ Hackerham. _Thanks guys, you're the best._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	53. Worms in the Sand

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

I've got…what, 9,950 more EXP until level 26?

That would be pretty easy to do, especially since we're just running along in the desert.

I had considered just flying up as high as I could, but I felt like I wanted to keep the fact that I could fly a secret. Partially because, well…I didn't do it that much anymore. I mean, sure, occasionally I got to behold gorgeous skies and beautiful sunsets and incredible vistas of untold wonder…but mostly, it became a method of travel to avoid having to circumvent or climb over a mountain and I could do that _already_ by you know…jumping.

Plus, flying was a _great_ way to get some quiet solitude when I wasn't feeling like, you know, staying in the vault.

"So, we need to find another team-" Nichiren began.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

A bloodworm, this one _vastly_ smaller than the one that I had seen off in the distance, jumped out from the dunes. It was about the size of my forearm and my fist collided with it's underside, sending a shower of blood and guts into the air. I brushed a bloody giblet out of my hair.

 _+25 EXP._

Only 25? Really?

There better be a _mountain_ of these worm things waiting for me. I know I'm not supposed to be _living_ for EXP anymore, but come on. It's the Chunin Exams. It had better have just a ton of EXP and…wait, what if I get level 30 off of this?

…that…I'm not sure how I feel about that. Suddenly get full and complete awareness of social cues, and total understanding of every social situation that I've ever been in and how I could've handled it.

Six worms, each the length of my leg and as thick as my torso leapt from the sands, their three-pointed mouths open and gaping for us. I'm not sticking my fist in there, so I'm punching above them and below them.

Punch, slide, punch, slide, punch, slide…oh, Nichiren and Hisako got the other three. Darn.

 _+25 EXP._

 _+25 EXP._

 _+25 EXP._

"So, as I was saying," Nichiren said, winding up the Ninja Wire he had used to slice up that one worm. "Before I was rudely interrupted, that we need to find another team and take their scroll as fast as possible, then I want to get to the plateau as fast as possible."

"We have three days before we need to be there," I argued. "We could stay here and kill worms for like a day or two after getting the scrolls."

"Look, Daisuke," Nichiren began. "You might be able to take getting attacked by packs of these disgusting things for days on end, but Hisako and I can't. Every day we spend out here, the more likely we're going to get jumped by a bigger worm that'll eat us whole or we're collapse from exhaustion."

"…right, sorry. Yeah, let's get this done quick," I slowly started to nod. "We get to the plateau and then I can see if I can go squish worms while the exam is still going on."

It made sense. The Forest of Death was like a maze, a maze with giant creatures, but a maze. You had a high probability of getting lost and never knowing where you're supposed to go. The Dunes of Blood, however? You could always see the plateau in the distance and you could make out oncoming pursuers way before they actually get to you. The thing that made the Dunes dangerous were the worms, which made the area a death trap which could go off at any time. The longer you stayed in the dunes, the more dangerous they got.

I might want EXP but I don't want Hisako and Nichiren to die. Besides it's only 9,850 more points, I'll get that soon enough. Level 30 isn't even an if anymore, it's a when. I can be patient, right? Right.

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

Wait, the sand is starting to shake beneath my feet. Huh. "You guys feel that?"

"Worm!" Hisako shouted. "Clear the area!"

Oh, we cleared the area alright. A huge leap from me to the next dune while Nichiren and Hisako did likewise. I've already gotten eaten _once_ in my life, I don't ever want a repeat. A few seconds later, the sand erupted and a long, purple, scaly long thing burst out.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/5._

You know, that's not a worm.

That' a snake.

A really, really big, purple snake thing.

That means that Orochimaru's nearby. Right? Right. I suppose I should've guessed, Suna helped with his invade in the main timeline so of _course_ he's going to be here looking for new hosts. Which likely means me.

I already feel violated.

Okay, time to put as much death and destruction between me and the memetic pedophile – well, hebephile, technically, as is possible. And since he brought his giant snake here with him, I've got no reason besides potentially forfeiting a mountain of EXP than to summon my own giant…thing.

"Summoning Jutsu!" I called out for the benefit of my teammates who don't need to be slinging pain at the God Emperor of Penguin-Kind.

"You have a summons?" Hisako asked, alarmed.

Well, several things happened. Number one, I shot up, completely by surprise, fifty feet in the air, suspended by a platform that I had no idea what was doing there. Then I realized that I wasn't simply standing on the Emperor's head. Then I had to stop myself from laughing at the fact that I was standing on the head of the God Emperor of Penguin-kind.

"That was fairly quick," The Emperor rumbled underneath me. "Why would you-ah, I see."

"He brought a boss summon, I brought a boss summon," I replied, looking down at him. "It only seemed fair."

Then the snake, having hit the ground and coiled around for another attack, lunged. The emperor slid to the side, commanding the sand beneath him like the ice of the artic.

"Is that a reptile?" The Emperor asked. "I've only heard about them. Cold blooded?"

"That's right," I said with a nod.

"Then this will be simple."

Then the Emperor fell onto his back and turned in place to slide on his stomach and I got off of the mans head. Making way toward my team.

The emperor turned around, making hand-signs with his claws behind him and opening his beak to spew a snowstorm at the snake. Yes, I said snow storm. My boss summon that breaths blizzards is fighting a giant, cold blooded snake.

Hisako was just staring at the fight going on, with the snake trying to lunge forward and bite, only for the Emperor to slide just out of the way. It tried to spit poison but then the Emperor just reversed course on a literal dime like a 2D target in a shooting range.

"Daisuke…what is that?" She asked, pointing at the Emperor with a nonplussed look as Nichiren jumped forward with a similar expression.

"It's a penguin!" I said with a smile.

"What's a penguin?" Nichiren asked, taking his glasses and wiping his glasses off before putting them on again.

"It's a flightless bird native to the frozen reaches of the world." Well, technically, penguins were native to more places than just the artic, but as I understand they mostly prefer colder climates, yes? "Or, you know _. That's_ a penguin. The Penguin boss to be specific."

"Okay, so where did the snake come from?" Hisako asked.

"Summoned, probably," Nichiren said. "Doesn't Mitarashi-san have the snake summon?"

"She does," I confirmed with a nod. "As does her former mentor, Orochimaru."

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

I whirled around and threw a punch, which my target, a Suna shinobi who I barely recognized from the first stage of the exam, dodged to the side before his neck extended and I brought my fist up through the neck, causing yet another fountain of blood to spurt all over the sand.

The corpse fell down and in a flash of smoke, was revealed to be nothing more than a log with an excessively long branch.

The Emperor Penguin used a frozen stretch of the snake to hop and get a little air-time before continuing his icy assault. That's hilarious – awful manners, but hilarious.

My skin started to tingle as what I could only describe as pure malice started to wash over me. Kind of like rotten lemons, all sour but with none of the flavor that makes people like lemons. I mean, I don't actually know what rotten lemons taste like, I'm just guessing that the feeling I'm getting is fairly close to it.

That's Orochimaru's killing intent. Not as intense as I thought it would be. Maybe I'm just higher level than it would be for it to affect me.

Beside me, Hisako gulped. I looked to her and saw that she had broken out into a cold sweat, tightly holding her senbon needles between her fingers as she scanned for threats. On the opposite side, Nichiren was spooling and unspooling his ninja wire.

The Sand Ninja pulled himself up out of the sand, looking more amused than anything in spite of the fact that his skin seemed to be peeling itself away, revealing the disguise underneath. His eyes were yellow, like a snake's.

"You're quite skilled, Shimoda-kun," He may have been disguised, but that was Orochimaru alright. "I admire the way you're the only one not even phased by my killing intent."

"Can we get back to fighting?" I asked, cracking my knuckles. "I'm not good at talking."

"But why should we fight?" Orochimaru asked.

"Because I don't like you."

That made him stop and then he started laughing.

A howl of rage and frustration sounded, bringing my attention to the Penguin Emperor, standing over an overly long tube of ice and…oh. The summon de-summoned himself. Huh. "He fled! The coward fled! Oh, that is aggravating!"

I looked back and Orochimaru was gone. Of course, he was gone. My summon completely demolished his summon. But I was feeling more than a little aggravated myself. I wanted a fight and I wanted a fight with the guy who made Anko's life miserable. Well, actually, I just wanted to test out my new fission release jutsu and kill him in the process.

Why did he start talking? That's annoying. Why didn't I just blast him while he was talking? I'm an idiot.

"Alright, Daisuke-kun," The Emperor slid up to me. "Part of the agreement was you could only summon me once a year."

I nodded.

"Allow me, then, to hand you an exception," The Emperor took a breath. "The next time you see that cowardly serpent, you are to summon me. I want another crack at him."

"You got it Emperor-sama," I replied with a bow.

"Very good," He said. "Now, is this your ninja cell?"

"Yup. This is Yamada Hisako and Nakamura Nichiren," I replied introducing my Genin team.

"A pleasure to meet you both," The Emperor said with a slight nod.

"Nice to meet you," Hisako returned the greeting hesitantly, giving him a bow of respect.

"Very nice to meet you," Nichiren did the same.

"Are you keeping Daisuke out of trouble?" The Emperor asked, raising an eye-muscle.

"He's kind of staying out of it on his own, actually," Hisako said, sounding a little surprised as she said it. "It's been nice."

"Hm. Good," The Emperor said. "I'm glad the Captain got through to him."

"Uh…can we not talk about that?" I asked, attempting to smile.

"How did the Captain get through to him?" Nichiren asked, sounding legitimately interested.

"Emperor-sama, please," I began.

"They were talking about tactics one day and every time he said something dumb, the captain hit him with a snowball," The Emperor continued, utterly heedless to my requests. "I understand he was soaking wet and coated with frost when they were finished."

"That's hilarious!" Hisako crowed, laughing hard enough she had to hold her gut.

"Yes, yes. Very funny," I frowned.

"Why didn't that ever occur to me?" Nichiren asked.

"Does it snow in the Land of Fire?" The Emperor asked in return.

"No," Nichiren shook his head.

"That's why," The giant, overstuffed penguin nodded sagely.

"I mean, I think we could've used something else," Hisako said. "Like, I don't know, sand-balls? Ooh! Dirt-clods!"

And now I'm thinking of that one episode of Recess from _so_ long ago. That one where the girl with a beanie got framed by the school tattle-tale? Yeah in a dirt-clod war.

The Emperor actually chuckled. "I like you. If that's the end of that, I'll be heading back to the artic and…what is _that_?"

Off in the distance, the worm Queen had surfaced and judging from the sparks surrounding her, was attacking a group of ninja that were sure to be dead soon.

"The queen of the blood worms that have infested these dunes," I explained with a shrug. "Why?"

"Hm. Okay, I'll go after the queen first and see if my subjects enjoy worm-meat," The Emperor licked his beak.

Uh…what? "Come again?"

"It looks delicious," The Emperor elaborated.

Hisako and Nichiren looked as lost as I did. "Emperor-sama, I don't believe you'll be able to _digest_ worm-meat."

"Nonsense! If it's meat, we can cook it," The Emperor said before zipping off on his stomach. "I'll go back to the artic after I'm done, no need to follow!"

"Daisuke," Hisako said. "What?"

"Let's just go," I sighed.

"No, no, no," Nichiren protested. "What is a penguin and why does he think worms look delicious?"

"I don't know, but when I met them, they were already eating sharks and sea lions," I answered with a sigh. "They _love_ food."

"What's a sea lion?" Hisako asked, still looking lost and confused.

"A type of seal," I explained.

"I…okay, let's just go," Hisako sighed and with that, we were off.

We began heading toward the Plateau in the distance. See, the best thing about getting closer to our destination was that as we got closer to the fortress, we got closer to everyone else, which meant it was easier to find victims – I mean other contestants.

No, no. I mean victims.

We crested another dune and the Plateau was clearly in sight. You know what was also in sight? Well, a trio of Ninja from Earth who had just arrived. Oh, well. They'll just enter the plateau with their scrolls and we'll have to wait for the fighting to start to get our chance.

Or no. They're hiding in the sands…setting up an ambush. Why would they… _oh_. They don't have both scrolls. They're laying an ambush for people who come, hoping to jack them and take their scroll. Well planned, actually.

"Nichiren, you're our mole. You want to go tie them up so we can see what they've got?" Hisako asked, folding her arms.

"Eh…sure. They don't look too tough," Nichiren said, burrowing into the sands like, well, a mole.

"I could've done something," I said, folding my arms.

"Yeah, but I wanted Nichiren to do it," Hisako replied, taking a seat. "You handled the written exam for us, so he gets to do something now and if they don't have an Earth scroll, I'll handle the next group and so on."

"But-but-," I started to interrupt.

"Besides, you already scared away whoever that was by summoning a direct counter to his boss summon," Hisako continued from her spot on the sand. "Come on, let Nichiren and I have some fun."

She didn't know that was Orochimaru. Alright then. "Sure, okay."

The question is, did I scare him off or is he waiting for another opportunity?

"I got them!" Nichiren called from plateau right as I sat down.

We both stood up and zipped down. Nichiren had them each tied up with wire, gagged with bags over their heads. "I was right, they weren't very tough."

"So, what scroll did they have?" I asked.

"Jackpot," Hisako said, pulling an Earth scroll out from the belt of one of the tied up, unfortunate saps.

Said unfortunate sap began shaking and struggling to get free, trying to shout through the gag.

"Uh, you'll let them go once we're inside, right?" I asked with a frown.

"Oh yeah," Nichiren waved it off. "They'll be off the hook once we're inside."

"Nice," I said, slapping an FTG seal on the sand below my feet. "Let's head inside."

Inside is a hallway with an identical number of doors on either side, ending with an end-table with a bowl and mirror nailed to the wall above it.

"Uh…I guess we pick a room?" I said with a shrug.

"I guess we do," Hisako nodded, going immediately to the right and opening the first door, coming to a wide and spacious chamber with a door at the end. "Alright, I think we open the scrolls here."

We did so and…out popped a random Chunin. Well, okay, he was one of the proctors of the first part of the exam. But anyway.

 _Quest Updated: The Chunin Exams._

 _Competed: Complete Phase 1._

 _Completed: Complete Phase 2._

 _Complete Phase 3._

 _Optional: Don't kill anyone during the exams._

He went on a tangent about the Shinobi Wars and being a Chunin and being loyal to your village, yadda, yadda, yadda. Nichiren and Hisako asked him a few questions but I was so utterly bored with being lectured that I had no interest in anything he was saying.

Beyond the complete lack of anything mentioning teamwork. That was kind of neat. I mean, I like my team but…I do. Hisako and Nichiren are easily in my top 10 of greatest friends ever. But looking back on it, they've been an albatross around my neck. The team in general, getting in serious trouble if I did anything without them, getting emotionally strung up every time I've accidentally offended them, being completely not in the right state of mind to deal with Hisako's crush, Nichiren being a scared jackrabbit for the first little while.

Sensei thinking he's in charge of my every freaking move.

When I'm Chunin, I might never work with them again. Heck, I might not _want_ to work with them again. That thought…once so liberating, is a little frightening now that I might actually get my wish. Looking back on it, I think there might have been times when I _wanted_ to lay the three of them out just for being difficult. Not blow their brains out, just rough them up a bit so they'd leave me _alone_.

I shook my head as we passed through the door into the fortress proper. Don't think that way. They're my _friends_. Friends that have caused me quite a bit of pain, but friends nonetheless.

The set up for the fortress was the same as the 'thunder dome' back in the forest of death. An arena with a small barrack built off from it. If you arrived on the first day, like we did, you could rest in the fortress while the other Genin worked harder and harder to get here on time.

Assuming they weren't worm food.

…you know, stepping outside tonight to see if there's worms I can gib might be worth my while and who knows. Maybe I might save some lucky soul from getting devoured by doing so.

We walked down the walkway built around the arena. Ahead of us, I spotted Hiruzen, the Kazekage…and Gaara. Oh, now Gaara's right in front of us, having moved in a gust of sand. Now I'm in a staring contest with him. Okay.

"You," He finally said.

"Hi," I responded.

"You. Mother doesn't like you," Gaara sniffed, turning his head just slightly to the side, giving me a better view of the kanji for love that had been cut into his skull. "She doesn't. She says you're wrong."

Interesting. Shukaku can sense I'm a dimensional intruder. I wonder what the Kyuubi has to say about me, given how much time I've spent around Naruto.

"Hey what do you mean by that?" Hisako asked, her eyes narrowing into a glare.

"Ah, Cell 13," The Hokage appeared at my side. "I'm glad to see that you've made it. Were you the first to arrive?"

"I think so," I shrugged…you know, I actually wonder if I can beat 'The God of Shinobi' in battle. I doubt it, but you know. Stuff to think about.

"Very good," Hiruzen nodded. "Yamada-chan, Nakamura-kun, good to see you alright and in one piece."

"Thanks, Hokage-sama," The replied in stereo, giving a respectful bow.

"This is the team you were asking about," The Hokage told the Kazekage with a bright smile.

"A very talented team to be sure," The Kazekage replied coolly.

"I see you've met the Kazekage's son," The Hokage replied.

"We still haven't got his name," Nichiren sounded nervous now for whatever reason.

Gaara never broke eye contact with me. "Gaara. Gaara of the Desert."

"Shimoda Daisuke," I introduced myself.

…is my team going to introduce themselves.

"Perhaps you three should find your rooms and turn in," The Hokage suggested, still smiling. "You've had a long journey, you should get some rest."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Hisako gave him a rapid bow and the two of them quickly walked off. Then Hisako grabbed me by the sleeve. "Come on, we should get some rest."

"Alright," I replied, following after them.

* * *

After just diving in my room with a quick good night to the two, I was off again. Well, kind of. I actually slept for like…six hours so the sun would've actually gone down. With an FTG seal planted in my room meant I could return at any time and I _gleefully_ noted there were no windows looking into my room.

So off I was into the cool, desert night, flying like a rocket, trying to find, I don't know…I don't think Orochimaru would just be wandering the training ground so I doubt I'll have cause to test my nuke jutsu – wait, you know what I just realized? If I kill Orochimaru, I'll fail my optional objective and I don't know if it's a _good_ thing or a _bad_ thing in this case.

Down on the desert floor, I saw sand…more sand…lots more sand. It's interesting that I can't see any worms jumping the sand like how it's Queen often did. Actually, what happened to the queen? Was the Emperor successful in making her his next meal, something I still can't believe he attempted?

I can't help but think that the Penguin's insatiable appetite is a metaphor for something. Perhaps, my lust for EXP?

And now my drive to go skoosh worms is gone. Fan-flipping-tastic. How the heck did they end up like _that_? You know, they don't even match the theme of the other summons. I mean, you've got toads, slugs, monkeys, snakes, all things that, I _think_ play a role in Japanese Mythology. I do recall Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru were all figures of myth that the main series, Naruto, was based on.

Penguins did not enter into that. They don't make any sense in this context. Kind of like me.

Exactly like me, actually. Which begs the question, they've mentioned that they had other types of applicants in the past…just who were they and how did they get matched up with those maniacs?

Wait, what's that dark patch on the sand there?

I flew down to get a closer look, the light shining through my invisible form.

…that is a _huge_ blood stain. Like, utterly massive. As if a giant living in the clouds had decided he didn't want his can of red paint and so he dumped it out and it fell all the way here to the desert and soaked the sand.

Looks like the Emperor was successful. Is he going to regurgitate it for his subjects? Do male penguins regurgitate their food to feed their children? Oh, gosh. That is disgusting. That…ew. _Ew_. That is _disgusting._ Absolutely disgusting and _wrong_.

Nope, nope, nope. We're not thinking about that right now. Nope.

Alright, so…where else can we go? Hey, that's a Ninja camp! With worms! Let's go skoosh some worms. Get my mind off of my summons. Yeah.

I swooped down to the camp, a trio of tents that had been set up. What I assumed were worms crawling around…well, I wasn't _wrong_. But those worms were stuffed full, having their whole bodies artificially inflated by the Genin they had swallowed. Legs and hands were the only things sticking out of these things mouths.

Darn it, I was trying to get _away_ from the disgusting, thank you!

Alright, whatever. I'm going to skoosh these things, see if I can rouse the Genin and get them to keep better watch.

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

 _+50 EXP._

9,700 more EXP until level 26.

I gently laid my hand on each worm, sending chakra strings into the inside and ripped them open like blossoming flowers. Sadly, chakra strings can't cut, they aren't scalpels or the Rasengan. Actually, that thing _grinds_ , it doesn't slice. But they can push and pull. They can push and pull really good.

The Genin I had pulled out with from Hidden cloud, the toga-things giving away their identity as much as their headbands. Given the lack of degradation on their bodies, this attack was recent. If I had to guess, the worm's saliva acted as a sedative to the victim and I _think_ whoever they had on watch had fallen asleep.

With my finger, I scooped up some of the saliva and sniffed it. Besides smelling disgusting, I couldn't tell anything else. I knelt down beside each of them and saw that yes, they were still breathing and their hearts were still beating, but only barely. They'd recover.

…are they going to recover soon?

No?

Alright, plan B. I'm not sitting here all night.

I unsealed a trio of stim packs and made a couple of clones. In unison, we jammed the stimpacks into the artery in their legs. Once the stimulants had finished pumping, I dispelled the clones and gathered the syringes.

The first to awake was the one with dark skin and black hair, tied into a top knot and slickened with saliva. He rubbed the back of his head and froze has he pulled the clump of saliva from the back of his head to his face. Then he yelped in surprise, stirring the teammate next to him.

"What, Takeo?" This was the girl of the team. She slowly sat up, revealing a hair-style I can only describe as _Pikachu_ – yellow-gold with black highlights, the ends of her hair cut in a jagged line like a lightning bolt. She, like her teammates was dressed in that white toga-like armor they all wore with darker clothing beneath it. Then she looked at her teammate, then around her, then she screamed. "Why am I covered in slime? Yoshimitsu! You were supposed to be on watch!"

You know, these guys were noobs. Nothing else to describe it.

"Huh? What? Where's the worms?" Yoshi was bald and his skin was green as if he were suffering from an unusually high dose of bilirubin in his blood – he had jaundice, in other words. He was looking around frantically. "They jumped me, where'd they go? I…oh…"

He finally saw me. "The three of you are really lucky I was here."

They all hastily drew kunai and fell back in a defensive formation, standing up and fumbling over themselves as the sedative hadn't left their systems yet. It was more than a little annoying, seeing them staring at me with panicked, unblinking eyes.

"You know, if I wanted the three of you dead, I would've just left you to the worms," I pointed out in irritation. "A thank you would be nice."

"Yeah, well…" The girl started, looking around with her eyes, but never leaving the crouch she was in with her kunai. "What do you want in thanks?"

 _Charisma Check Failed: 4/6._

"The words 'thank you'?" I responded, resisting the urge to grind my teeth at the game telling me I failed. Again.

The three looked at each other in confusion before the girl finally responded. "Thank you?"

"You're welcome," I said, trying to smile but giving up when I remembered what my smile looked like. "Anyway, you guys might want to move your camp. The noise you made really stands out here in the dunes and you've got…what? Ten or Twenty more teams that want to kill you and take your scroll? I'd hate for the work I put in saving your lives to go to waste."

She tilted her head in confusion. "Why did you help us, exactly?"

"I felt like it," I replied with a shrug. "Seemed like a good thing to do, you know?"

"Sure," 'Yoshi' replied nodding.

"Anyway, with the meds I gave you, you'll shake the sedative from your systems in another ten seconds or so," I continued. "You should be good to move for the rest of the night, which is a good thing because most worms are nocturnal and I don't think you'll want to stay in once place while they're active. Also, I didn't get your name."

"Uh…" Pikachu-hair blinked in confusion.

"Takeo, Yoshi, Mystery Girl," I said, pointing to the three Genin in succession. "What's your name?"

"Oh, um…I'm Ayako," She said, looking off to the side. "Nogi Ayako."

"Nice to meet you. With that out of the way, I'm off," I said, moving to leave the campsite.

"Wait, don't you want our scroll?" Yoshi asked incredulously.

"Yoshi!" Ayako hissed in anger.

"Oh, my team's already at the fortress. I just left to get some fresh air," I explained before giving them a goodbye wave. "Good luck."

I turned invisible and they just _stared_ at the place where I was. I turned to leave for real when…

"Okay, am I dreaming?" Yoshi started. "Or did the monster our sensei warn us about just save our lives?"

"Look, don't question it," Takeo barked, moving to pack up his gear and tent. "Hurry, we got to move before we bring the whole exam down on our heads. Thanks, Ayako."

"I woke up and was covered in _slime_!" She barked right back at him, moving to pick up her stuff. "Thanks, Yoshi!"

"I told you I got jumped!" Yoshi argued back.

"Guys! Shush!" Takeo hissed at them. "We'll discuss it when we get out of here!"

Let's fly up…anyone coming after them? No? Alright, they're in the clear, I guess.

…people have been getting warned about me?

That's flattering in its own, weird way.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Definitely some key differences here. Orochimaru had undoubtedly heard about Daisuke and wants his power, but in the prior edition, Orochimaru was a no-show. I had reasoned that he didn't want to compromise that Sand was his asset. Here, however, Orochimaru made a go. Not an overly aggressive go, he just wanted to see how_ good _Daisuke was and if the rumors were true. They were._

 _Also, some hints about some of the…poor feelings Daisuke has toward his friends. Sure, they're his friends, but everyone does things that irritate someone else and they are no different, and Daisuke's got some resentment bubbling under the surface of_ I want EXP _._

 _Anything else? Oh, yeah. There were some OC's heavily based off of Sword Art Online's main duo – Kirito and Asuna. They're still there, just with even less screen time, but they'll still be present in the third part of the exam._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham and Tim Collins-Squire _, you guys are the best. Thank you._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	54. Interlude: Shocks

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"Sensei?" Hisako asked as Kakashi closed the door to Daisuke's room. The genin was sound asleep, thankfully.

"Yes, Hisako-chan?" Kakashi asked with an eye-smile.

"I wasn't sure if I should've mentioned it earlier but…we met this strange shinobi out in the sands," Hisako began. "He was disguised as a suna nin and he summoned a giant snake."

"Summoned a giant snake," Kakashi repeated, feeling his breath leave him as slowly as the implication started to dawn on him.

"Yeah and…he was almost _part_ snake, the way his neck stretched out," Hisako said, tilting her head and pointing to her neck. "He tried to bite Daisuke-kun specifically and Daisuke…well, blew his neck out all over the sand. It was just a substitute, though."

Kakashi hummed. "Alright. Why do you say he was disguised as a Suna Nin?"

"Because he was wearing fake skin." Hisako shrugged and looked off to the side. "But here's the weird part. It was almost like he and Daisuke…knew each other. Sort of. The ninja tried talking to him, said they didn't have to fight. But Daisuke said they did."

"Anything beyond the obvious as to why?" Kakashi asked with a sigh.

"He said it was because he didn't like him," Hisako shrugged. "So…I don't know. Also, Daisuke has a summoning contract. It's with these weird…black and white bird things."

 _So that's what that was_ , Kakashi thought, going over the report of the giant, waddling beaked thing that had been sighted eating the giant worm before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"So yeah," Hisako said, scratching the back of her neck. "It's just been a weird day all around. I needed to talk to someone about it…do you know who ambushed us? With the giant snake?"

"I'll talk with the Hokage about it," Kakashi patted her shoulder with an eye-smile. "Now the only thing I want you to worry about for the next few days is resting and relaxing. Think you can do that?"

"Yeah, sure," Hisako sighed. "See you later, Sensei."

"See you later, Hisako-chan."

She walked off and Kakashi sighed heavily. Because of all the things he didn't want to hear, the fact that Orochimaru of the Sannin was somewhere in Suna. Daisuke, who may or may not have known he was going to be here or at the very least, recognized him, didn't tell them. Whether it was because of negligence, a gross underestimation of Orochimaru's power or perhaps a desire to have the Sannin all to himself, Daisuke hadn't mentioned it.

And that was going to put Daisuke's promotion in serious danger and…Kakashi honestly didn't want to be in the middle of _that_.

* * *

"What is this?" The Raikage was a big man. A very, very big man that was staring down at a report he had received with a glare that could make a Bijuu second guess its choices in life. His blond eyebrows were furrowed together in thought.

"That-"

"What _is_ this?"

"That's not the first time you asked, Raikage-sama," Darui, as opposed to his Kage's well-groomed mullet, had a mess of hair that seemed to grow out of his scalp like a miniature forest. "We need more time to investigate Konoha's…super-ringer."

"I know that!" The Raikage, A, barked in response. "But this. This is new. And it doesn't make any sense."

"That seems to be a theme here, Raikage-sama," Darui replied with a sigh.

"It saved Team 9," A replied without even so much as a glance.

Darui nearly jumped. "Are you serious?"

A leaned forward, on hand on his knee, the other pointing at his face. "Do I look like I'm joking, Darui?"

Darui frowned. "No, Raikage-sama. No, you do not."

"Good, because I'm not," He leaned back and folded his arms. "For whatever reason, Sarutobi's super-ringer went out of his way to save the lives of one of our Genin teams, and I don't like it."

"I…yes, that makes sense," Darui replied, running his fingers through his hair. "They've been examined for seal-work or tampering?"

"The moment they told Tsukehara-san what happened, they were pulled aside," A responded, steepeling his fingers once again to stare at the report. "No one found anything. By any right, Team 9 was worm food until it pulled them off. I don't understand _why_ it would do that."

"Did he poison them?" Darui asked, leaning forward.

"No. The stimulant he gave them, according to reports, was just that – a stimulant," A said with a sigh. "This is Konoha. They have plenty of reason to hate us. For one of their Shinobi to just decide to help them instead of killing them when they saw they were one of ours…something stinks. I don't like it."

"Raikage-sama," Darui began. "Forgive me for asking, but what are the odds he just helped them not knowing the bad blood our villages have?"

A hummed before shaking his head. "None. We teach our Genin about the atrocities of Konoha against our village and they teach their Genin of our triumphs over them. It'd be foolish that, apparently, the most brilliant Genin to come out of Konoha in almost a decade to not know of our past wars."

"It was a thought," Darui shrugged.

A picked up the report and read over it for the fifth time, then the medical statements that had been attached to the report. _Just what are you up too, Sarutobi?_

* * *

"Yeah, I figured it was Orochimaru," Daisuke answered and shrugged.

"And you didn't say anything?" Anko barely avoided shouting. Barely. Her skin had gotten pale and she had broken out into a cold sweat.

"What about it? You guys already knew about it, right?" Daisuke asked with a raised eyebrow.

"What makes you say that?" The Hokage asked with a puff of smoke.

Daisuke blinked and cupped his chin. "I don't know, I just sort of assumed you'd know if an S-class missing nin was to show up here in Suna. Must be with how we're Ninja and intelligence gathering is our job. And the Hokage is here…you know, I thought it was reasonable you guys would know."

The Hokage sighed. "Daisuke, it's remarkably hard for us to know anything if our contacts don't tell us anything. A network of spies is a Ninja's primary method of information gathering. You know this, they covered it in the academy."

"Were you just assuming we mystically find things out like you do?" Anko hissed, clenching and unclenching her fists.

"That's enough, Mitarashi," The Hokage reprimanded coolly.

"I was sort of assuming so, yeah," Daisuke nodded. "I mean, the Hokage's got that crystal ball in his study-"

Daisuke jumped in his boots and frowned. "The point is that everyone here has methods of finding things out without, you know, _people_."

 _How did he know-_? The Hokage slightly shook his head. The idea that Daisuke came up with his own surveillance jutsu to see what other people were doing per his tactics training easily explained how he knew. It was extremely unnerving that he didn't feel himself being spied upon, but this was _Daisuke_. "The point is, Daisuke, is that without our people doing their best to help the village succeed…the village will crumble. That means telling people when an S-class missing-nin is in the vicinity and is likely after you."

"He's more like an A-class," Daisuke replied out the side of his mouth.

"He's an S-class threat," The Hokage corrected sharply. "He is most certainly an S-class threat. Whatever he did, he did not show even close to the extent of his abilities and if he had, you would be dead."

Daisuke did not say anything, but his fingers twitched. Then his eyes got just a little bit wider for half of a second before he fell into a glare.

"What is it, Shimoda?" The Hokage asked with a frown.

"Nothing," He replied, as stone faced as ever.

"Listen, we just want to make sure everyone is safe and sound," The Hokage said, taking a puff of his pipe. "But we can't do that unless we know of threats when they come around. Do you understand? We just want to make sure you and your teammates are safe."

"Yes, I understand, Hokage-sama," Daisuke replied. "Is there anything else?"

"No," Hiruzen shook his head. "Dismissed."

Shimoda disappeared straight away.

"Hokage-sama," Anko started. "I'm sorry for speaking out of turn like that, but if he's going to treat an S-class threat that casually…I hate to say it but…I don't believe he can be promoted. Not without being a danger to himself and the people he works with."

"I agree," The Hokage replied. "I had hoped he was beyond his casual disregard for danger, but that is apparently not the case. But we can't _tell_ him that. Not yet. Not until we get back to the village and we can make sure he doesn't do anything reckless where it could start a war."

* * *

 _Author's Note: Short. Very, very short, but this is an interlude in-between Phase two and three of the Chunin exams and I think that I've said everything that I need to say here._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Chris, _the newest member of our circle of patrons. Welcome. Shout out also goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham and Tim Collins-Squire. _You guys are the best, thank you._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	55. Snake Eater

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

I give up.

There's nothing else to be said here. I give up. I'm done trying to please everyone. I've tried my best, I've tried to learn what they were trying to teach me, include my teammates in what I'm doing, just trying to get through to some actual independence and what do I get?

Shafted.

A charisma _success_ told me they weren't going to promote me because I didn't report a _non_ -problem. That's it. That's all it takes to ruin everything. After all of my capabilities, everything I'm going to show off, it won't matter because I didn't decide to report a non-problem. Because that's what Orochimaru is – _a non-problem_. Everything he does I do better. His opening move against me was to summon _The Snake Boss_ and I had a counter ready.

Not my problem their network of informants isn't very good.

Just…I'm just done. I honestly don't see the point in trying anymore. Because there isn't a point until either they understand that I'm so thoroughly above them that threats to them aren't threats to me or I've got the charisma to actually see what the problem is and fix it. Enough charisma to make people solvable equations.

So fine.

They're worried about Orochimaru?

I'll take care of him. I'm going to bring them the head of the snake.

Then go through the exam to finish the quest.

But after that?

I'm done.

I'm leaving.

Trying to fit everyone's wants and desires has brought me nothing but pain and misery. Heck, the only people who _haven't_ caused me problems are Naruto and technically Ino. _Ino_. Her book club only got borked because people started poking their noses in to where they don't belong.

Maybe I'll come back after having fixed the charisma problem but I'm not doing missions for them anymore. What are they going to do? They can't stop me from leaving and they can't _make_ me do missions for them.

I'm basically untouchable.

 _Quest Added: Snake Eater._

 _Find and Kill Orochimaru._

 _(Optional): Kill the Sound Four._

Sound Four? Oh, right. His bodyguards. Fun.

So here I stood in the hotel lobby at the break of dawn. A clone on my bed to make sure they don't suspect anything. If it flubs the lie, it doesn't matter. They can try to stop me if they want. They'll fail. I brought the goggles down over my eyes and with a series of hand signs went invisible. Now let's move.

A hop, skip and a jump and I was flying over the sand village. First thing is first, how to find them? Easy? No. Not necessarily easy. I mean, if I had quest markers, this would be a piece of cake but I don't so I'll need to use the next best thing.

In one of my jutsu inventing sprees, I went ahead and improved on the echolocation jutsu I figured out – now it not only pings off of people, buildings, etc. But it's also subtle enough to be almost undetectable _and_ it returns the specifics of chakra signatures that it collides with. I just need to feed it most of my chakra and it'll cover the entire desert.

The only people I think will be able to tell I activated this jutsu will be the Hokage, the Kazekage, _maybe_ Kakashi and, unfortunately, Orochimaru. But it's not like he'll be able to get _away_ , I just won't have the element of surprise unless he doesn't understand the chakra-pulse that just went off. He probably will, but it's a possibility.

Besides, I prefer a straight fight.

 _Radar_.

The sheer number of signatures left behind in the village was almost staggering. There were just a lot of powerful shinobi there and I almost wanted to just jet back to Konoha really quick and seeing how they compared. I didn't have a good idea, since I came up with this variation in my vault, far away and isolated from the village.

Focus.

Gaara's off in the Dunes of Blood, doing whoever knows what and…Orochimaru's just on the edge of the jutsu, likely taking off. He had five signatures with him, which was interesting. Whatever, I had my heading, so I took off like an invisible rocket through the sky.

Sometimes flying was fun, such as when I soared through the dunes and plateaus that dotted the desert and maneuvered over these environs; it brought a smile to my face. I think flying got boring because I was just flying in the clouds _all the time_ and it got boring. Variety is the spice of life – they took off running. Of course they did.

The spot that I had calculated to be their position from the ping I had received was barren, empty. Let's see if I can see where they went, I don't want to set off another ping.

 _Eagle Eyes_.

With what was the jutsu equivalent of high-powered binoculars active, I moved straight up into the sky and looked around for a small group moving itself across the sand. After a few moments of searching, I found them. They weren't kicking up a large dust-cloud like I was expecting, but they were a group of shinobi running as fast as they could in one direction – away. I recognized Orochimaru's bow tied around his waist which got me wondering 'what's the point of that thing?' and I flew after them.

Let's take a stab at what would they all be doing this far out in the desert. Uh…I don't know. Meeting of some kind? Well, who were they meeting? I don't know. The Kazekage? Maybe? Wasn't he an agent of Orochimaru's at some point? Wait, but Orochimaru killed him and impersonated him so maybe not.

Kabuto?

Whatever, they're getting away.

I flew after them, landing on the sand and continued to slide. I pulled my gun out of it's holster and took aim. I remembered that the big guy drained chakra which was really, really bad for me – the last guy I fought that drained chakra came the closest anyone has ever come to killing me _ever_ and every defensive measure I've got heavily depends on my chakra levels.

One headshot, blood sprayed on the sand. He's still moving, so I put another one in his head. Instant death.

 _+600 EXP._

Geeze, he was tough.

With him down, the group span into defensive positions which was fine with me. One shot, two, then three. The sand was coated with grey-matter and blood.

 _+600 EXP._

 _+600 EXP._

 _+600 EXP._

 _Quest Updated: Snake Eater._

 _Find and Kill Orochimaru._

 _Completed: (Optional): Kill the Sound Four._

 _Quest Updated: The Chunin Exams._

 _Complete Phase 3._

 _Failed: (Optional): Don't kill anyone during the exams._

Whatever. For 2400 EXP I'll consider it worth it. 7,300 EXP until Level 26 and honestly at the rate I get EXP I could have Almost Perfect tomorrow. If, you know…I wasn't simultaneously terrified of it and demanding it in my life right now.

Focus.

For courtesy's sake, I reappeared in front of Orochimaru, about ten feet away from him. "Hello, Snake."

"Well, Shimoda-kun," He hissed out with a smile. "What can I do for you today?"

That's probably a clone. I'm going to treat it as a clone, anyway. "I want your head on a platter."

He tsked. "How gruesome. I'm afraid your delusions of grandeur have lead you to a fight you can't win."

"Oh, I hope you're tough," I said, rolling my shoulders. "Walking all over scrubs in this exam has been boring."

He raised an eyebrow. Then he laughed. "You're going to regret your actions today, whelp."

That's a comment on my current size, not my age. That's a comment on my current size, not my age. _That's a comment on my current size, not my age._

"I was going to offer you a chance to come alive," I snarled. "But I've decided against it. This fight is to the death."

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far," Orochimaru replied with a glint in his eye. "There's many other ways this fight can end."

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

…you know, it just occurred to me that if Orochimaru did use a clone, this would be the clone and he'd be running somewhere else. But there's no way he thinks I can beat him, right?

 _Charisma Check Failure: 4/6._

Let's say he did. First things first, pop the clone. I quickly extend pistol, wondered why he looked confused and blew his brains out. 'Orochimaru' dissolved into a puddle of mud and I groaned in irritation.

A few hand-signs later, I stomped on the ground.

 _Toph's Sight_.

Felt only fitting to have an earth jutsu named after my favorite earth user in all of media. The chakra surged through the Earth and I quickly learned that Orochimaru had indeed burrowed into the sand and made a clone to come up behind me. He made two more clones, but I was distracted by the plume of sand that shot up and I whirled around and rammed my fist into his open, fanged mouth, causing the clone to immediately dissipate into _lightning which promptly engulfed me_.

 _-33 HP._

 _Ninjutsu partially absorbed._

Well, my chakra-defense network does work on Ninjutsu and the seal which redirects physical impacts to my indestructible skeleton didn't do anything because this isn't something that does physical damage. Alright, good to know. Let's take a gulp of Nutriwater and get that HP back.

 _+50 HP_.

Back to full. Nice.

Anyway, he's resorted to lightning clones because the lightning armor's given me such a speed buff that he can't get an attack in edgewise. Which means he's going to resort to some other tactic. The other two clones were rushing up the sand, but away from me. He'll likely try to pelt me with ranged attacks and dodge when he sees me prepare jutsu of my own to counter. That sort of scenario is part of why my pistol is so handy. Wait, where's the original going?

Oh _no_ you don't.

I dove into the sand right as the clones surfaced, setting the area above me on fire. He actually turned to look in my direction as I followed. I couldn't read his expression but I seriously doubt he was happy. He took a breath and the dirt in front of me turned to lava. Promptly, I dove beneath the hazard and then chase him back to the surface.

The sand flew off around me as I shot out of the sand like a missile.

"You actually came alone," Orochimaru shook his head in amusement as I took aim and blew his head off. A puff of smoke and it was just a log. Figures. "I heard you were foolhardy, but I thought this beyond you."

"I handle my own problems," I replied with a raised eyebrow, letting out another burst of chakra to find the hidden source of the voice. "Unlike someone else I can name."

"Ah, so you came without telling the Hokage?" Orochimaru asked, sounding downright gleeful. "Very brave of you."

"Some would say stupid," I said, making multiple hand-signs. _Stonehenge._

Orochimaru leapt high into the air, having been henge'd into a clump of sand, barely dodging the mounds of rock that had sprung up to engulf him. Suddenly, my feet felt cold and wet as I started to sink into the sand below. I looked before and saw that he had turned the sand into mud.

 _Ninjutsu Partially Absorbed._

Ahead, a wave of mud emerged like a Tsunami and I immediately rocketed above, flying over the wave and coming down behind it as if I jumped – I didn't want him know that I was flying everywhere. On my descent, a trio of purple splotches hit me in the chest.

 _Poison Filtered._

My chakra took a hit there, coming to two-thirds of a bar. Thanks to my seal, the balls of toxin dissolved into a fine mist soon after, which meant that my filter wouldn't have to _keep_ filtering it as it stuck to my clothes. By design, of course.

 _Genjutsu Absorbed_.

And I'm back to full. _Fun!_

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

He was down on the sand and I took aim and fired with my pistol. He started running, leaving my shots to kick up spots of the mud around us. Then ahead, a large plume of smoke immediately showed up and there was the giant snake. Again.

 _Summoning Jutsu_.

"I hope you're ready for round two," The Emperor, thankfully, caught sight of Manda immediately – I didn't want to have to go through the awkwardness of 'where's the snake' and 'Daisuke, this violates our agreement'. We're just going to get _right_ to the Kaiju fight. "I have no tolerance for cowards."

"I will have your legs for drumsticks, bird," Manda snarled angrily. Large, twin streams of poison shout out of it's mouth and he burrowed into the sand.

"By my decree, you shall be served to my subjects with the finest garnishments," The Emperor said before falling onto his back to slide after him. The Emperor's beak was open and the muscles around his face were pulled taught in the approximation of a slasher smile. Kind of scary _and_ funny at the same time.

As the two boss-summons chased each other off, I rolled my shoulders. Orochimaru can't run and he can't clone-spam. He doesn't have the chakra for it. At least I don't think he does. So, the only thing there is here is fight. Fight, fight, _fight_.

Let's hope these tactic's lessons were worth the trouble.

Orochimaru sent out a clone, then another, hanging back. Several hand-signs later, a giant, blue fireball was screeching its way through the air toward me. I slid to the right, the explosion of the fireball hitting the sand was deafening. At very least a 'rest in peace headphones' sound. I might've absorbed part of the jutsu, but I still would've taken quite a bit of damage; down to a quarter health at the very least.

I took aim at the Orochimaru who shot the fireball and fired off a shot. It dissolved into a puddle of mud. I shot one of the others and it fizzled out into sparks of electricity. The final one came into melee range. I punched it and it exploded into my face.

 _Ninjutsu partially absorbed._

 _-87 HP._

Gulp, gulp.

 _+50 HP._

 _+50 HP._

Now where'd he go?

 _Perception Check Success: 8/8._

 _Agility Check Success: 7/7._

You know, I wonder how many times I'd be dead over if ties didn't go my way.

I immediately jumped into the air, successfully avoiding a swarm of small snakes that erupted out of the sand below me. While I seriously doubt that they're tiny fangs would be enough to pierce my skin to deliver their venom, I was pretty sure they'd manage to whittle my chakra down with repeated attempts until I had none and then I'd be a sitting duck.

 _Smoke-screen._

The snakes slowly burned to death under the embers of my jutsu and while that was good for me (why no EXP?), the smoke is what I actually wanted. If Orochimaru had some way of seeing through obstructions like that, it might give me – wait, I can't normally _sense_ chakra like that.

Aside from glaringly obvious examples like the Kyuubi or Killing Intent, I'm blind. Crap.

…after I get the Wind Element and getting all the combinations that I can, I'm grabbing _Chakra Sense_ at level 28. Too useful at this point, I'm finding that I _hate_ being snuck away from. "What's wrong, Orochi? Getting tired?"

 _Charisma Check Failed: 4/10._

Is that seriously the best that I can do? Come on, I can think of something wittier than that!

"Or are you just running out of snakes?" I asked, taking a breath to recover from how cringy that line was.

 _Charisma Check Failed: Success not possible._

Shut up, game.

"Hardly," Was he snarling with a smile as he said that, or was he just snarling? "I'm just fabulously impressed with how durable you are."

"The last guy as impressed as you was blown all over a hotel lobby," I said, letting out another pulse when suddenly, my heart almost stopped.

 _My clone was popped._

Jump up, dodge a fireball.

 _Crap._

It was training with Hisako and Nichiren, two on one. Nichiren tied it down with wire and Hisako popped it with a kunai on accident and the clone was trying to conserve Chakra and… _crap_. Crap, crap, crap, crap, _crap_. Sensei is going to _kill me_.

Well.

Whatever.

I've got a guy to kill.

I'll deal with it lat-

 _Ninjutsu partially absorbed._

 _-45 HP._

Orochimaru hit me with a lightning bolt.

Ow.

 _+50 HP_.

And back to full health. Again.

If I didn't know better, I'd say Orochimaru can't actually do anything about me. At all.

I felt something push against my back, and my chakra was cut in half.

 _Poison filtered_.

I wirled around, pistol at the ready and saw that Orochimaru had brought a venom-tipped sword to bare. He just _barely_ ducked beneath my fist, then jumped over my sweeping kick, making a dozen hand-signs and breathing out a fireball. I slid to the right and only barely got clipped by it.

 _Ninjutsu partially absorbed._

 _-13 HP._

You know, I'm really glad my armor negates 85% of his damage. That plus the jutsu absorption makes it very hard to do anything about me…period.

 _+50 HP._

"Truly magnificent," He was sweating slightly. "Your body will be mine."

"No. I'm taking your head," I replied, blasting the obvious clone to a puddle of mud.

He cannot have gone far.

Just another ping and…oh boy. The Hokage's pretty fast for his age. This has to be over with quickly. Like right now. Just write a seal, seal away his chakra. The only problem is that I need to get in punching distance, something he's been desperately working to avoid for obvious reasons.

How does he keep making clones without me being aware of them?

Whatever, I need to start working to trap him.

I saw his current location and decided that _that_ is the center. At my feet, I wrote an FTG seal then I ran after him, Lightning armor speeding me so fast to his location that he only made it half-way to the boarder of my designated kill-box before I jumped him, trying to hit him in the back with a kick. It impacted, but he disappeared into a plume of smoke. I made it to the other side and wrote another seal.

He had run off to my left, and I turned around and charged him, angling myself so he'll dodge back toward the center. He's getting tired, so he _might_ be getting desperate? Maybe? I don't know.

 _Charisma Check Failure: 4/6._

Shut up, game.

 _-99 HP._

I hate lightning bolts! Well, I love lightning bolts, but only when I'm using them!

 _+50 HP._

 _+50 HP._

Get to the point, write seal. Three out of four compass-points of the circle made. Zip after him, he dodges toward my first seal, I continue on until I reach the next area. Write FTG seal. Kill box framework set.

I port to the seal closest to Orochimaru and zipped after him, letting out a trio of shots from my pistol, which he swiftly dodged. I ported to the seal he had accidentally dodged towards and continued, running after him as he whirled around to face me with wide, panicked eyes.

At least I think they were panicked.

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

Yeah, panicked.

The Hokage was closing in. Orochimaru let out another lightning bolt, I ported out of the way, then to the seal closest to him and rushed. He dodged left, I immediately stopped my course and zipped after him, planting the seal on his chest.

He could no longer access his chakra and was bound head to toe. Unlike most of my seals, this one didn't have an obvious breaking point.

"It's over, Orochi," I said, letting out a sigh of relief. "You're done."

"You took away my chakra!" He started to look truly terrified. "You-! How could you! How _dare_ you! I'll kill you! I'll end your-"

 _Chakra Knife._

I knelt down, grabbed him by his hair and severed his head. I stood, holding it out from my like Perseus who had slain the gorgon. Not because I wanted to be theatric, but because it smelled bad. Just in time, too. The Hokage and his entourage, which was him, Kakashi, Anko and a few other Jounin sensei from the village had arrived at the perimeter of the Kill Box and they could see, perfectly, what I had done.

 _Quest Completed: Snake Eater._

 _Completed: Find and Kill Orochimaru._

 _+2400 EXP._

4,900 more until level 26. Yay.

I opened my notebook and turned off alerts with one hand. I didn't need them right now.

They walked up, a little slowly since they undoubtedly caught my glare. The Hokage was at the front, giving a good impression of me whenever I look in the mirror – stone faced and impassive.

"Here's his head," I barked, tossing the Hokage the trophy I took, which he caught with one hand. "He's not a problem anymore. Happy?"

Hiruzen frowned. "I…yes, I am happy that he's been dealt with. Are you upset, Shimoda?"

"What gave it away, Sarutobi?" I asked with a glare. "The fact that I snuck out to deal with your non-problem or the fact that I can glare?"

Sarutobi let out a small breath through his nose. "Both. What are you upset about?"

"You weren't going to promote me," I responded, my fingers involuntarily twitching into a fist. "After everything I've done, every request I've honored, all the things I've tried to learn in spite of a _biological handicap_ preventing me from learning it, you weren't going to promote me because I didn't think it was important to report that we got attacked by a famous not-problem."

"You not reporting a traitor's presence at the exams is a problem, Daisuke-kun," The Hokage replied, giving a _slight_ gesture to both Kakashi and Anko to remain quiet even though I could tell that at least Anko wanted to say something. Badly.

"Does it look like a problem?" I hissed back, gesturing to the body I had left. "This _was_ his body, by the way. Well, the one he was inhabiting. Body-jacker. You understand, right?"

"I…yes, I do," Hiruzen sighed. "And that's not the point."

"Then what is the point, Sarutobi?" I barked in response.

He looked into my eyes, then at the body. "The point is that you did not _have_ to deal with him. He was my problem. He was Mitarashi's problem. He was your sensei's problem. Your only worry was supposed to be passing the exams. Instead, this fell into your lap. Do you know what not telling us about him looks like?"

That I knew he was going to be dealt with later eventually? That I was going to kill him anyway when the canon invasion, if it still happened? "No, what?"

"I think you do," The Hokage replied, his mouth becoming a thin line.

"That I thought he was going to be dealt with anyway? That he wasn't long for this world regardless?" I hazarded a guess…wait, Nichiren and Hisako came along? Well, I guess they're as capable as Jounin are normally. "That as far as tough enemies went he would be pretty disappointing? I've got nothing."

If there was something I had to describe this fight, it was tedious. Absolutely tedious. He just kept _kiting_ me and it was aggravating.

"It looks like you're still trying scrape every possible fight that you possibly can," Hiruzen explained. "Is that not what you were trying to do?"

"No, actually," I frowned. "The only reason I'm out here dealing with this sorry excuse for a…for a shinobi is because you and Anko threw a fit and weren't going to promote me. I came out here and dealt with this _to prove a point_."

"And what point is that?" The Hokage asked.

"I don't need Konoha." Not entirely what I was going to say but it's what came out of my mouth and it's closer to the truth anyway. "I don't need a village or leadership that doesn't trust me, especially when they don't even know what I can do. I don't need a village that tries to tie me down over an issue that I can't do anything about until they cut me loose. _I. Don't. Need. This._ Do you understand?"

The Hokage looked at me again, then at the body. Why did Hisako look close to tears? Kakashi didn't look happy either, but it's tough to gauge when all I can see is one eye.

"I can see why you're frustrated," The Hokage began. "But if you say you don't need the village…does that mean you're leaving Konoha?"

"I'm considering it," I replied. Hisako gasped. Is she okay? I think she's going to want to punch me or something later. "I'm tired of trying to please you guys all the time. I give up. I'm done. Being missing-nin _has_ to be better than this constant tug of war."

"You'll have hunter nin after you all the time," Nichiren piped up, looking distressed.

I gestured toward Orochimaru's corpse. "Does it look like I care?"

The Hokage looked like he was mulling things in his mouth. "Daisuke, part of the problem is that, by not telling us about a known traitor, even if you didn't consider him a problem, was around. That put every Shinobi in suna, including your teammates at serious risk of abduction or worse. Please tell me that makes sense, at least."

"Maybe," I shrugged. "But he's not a problem anymore, so it's moot."

The Hokage fell quiet. Hisako actually _was_ crying now and…I felt bad. Kind of bad. Pretty bad. I don't like making people cry. "Would it help if I said this experience has taught me to always report if someone in the bingo book is around and might be a problem for others later?"

"Yes," The Hokage nodded. "It would help a lot."

"Well…there you go," I gestured toward him lamely. "Did you pick up his bodyguards? I kind of left their corpses behind when I went after the bigger fish."

"We didn't find them," The Hokage replied. "Daisuke, here is what I suggest. You are clearly not a Genin. None of your team are. I do not believe you have need of a Jounin sensei looking over you every second of the day – but you make some key errors that no Chunin should make. Ever. So here is what I propose."

I folded my arms.

"Following this exam, you will be promoted to Special Jounin and assigned a partner," The Hokage replied. "You will not be beholden to this partner, you will be equal. You'll take on missions that Jounin would be expected to take on and given leave to leave the village whenever you want, so long as you tell us when you're leaving and when you'll be back. Is that acceptable?"

…sure. You know what, definitely. Probably won't tell anyone when I'm going to the vault because that would mean filling out a form or whatever every freaking other day but if I need an extended vacation? That works. "Fine. That works."

"Good," The Hokage said with a sigh. "Do not make me regret this arrangement, Shimoda."

I glared. "I'll do my best. See you at the village."

"Daisuke," Kakashi spoke up for the first time. "We would really prefer it if you ran back with us. You can show us where the corpses are."

"Alright."

…all things considered, I made out like a bandit. Probably should make sure Nichiren and Hisako are okay once we get back. You know, if I really want to give my charisma room to screw me over.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: To be perfectly honest, things are starting to fall apart here. They don't want to lose Daisuke because of who he is and Daisuke is really starting to resent the people he's been around almost his whole life. Just because he's starting to get a sense of things as his charisma scales and he's getting messages about things he really doesn't like about them._

 _Also, the first time I wrote Orochimaru's fight I skipped over it the most part because I didn't think it was all that exciting because, as you saw, he almost couldn't do a thing to him. Maybe I missed a few capabilities of Orochimaru's, but with all the defensive seals and preparations Daisuke has made then you add the 85% damage reduction, I doubt there's truly much he could do against a Daisuke that was actually trying._

 _Shout out goes out to Maben00, thank you for your support! You are awesome, and I welcome you to the circle of super patrons!_

 _Shout out_ also _goes out to Devil's Bite. You sir are also awesome and I'm super thankful for the extra support – welcome to the Super Patrons._

 _Finally, shout outs to my continued supporters_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham _and_ Tim Collins-Squire. _You guys are the best._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	56. Almost Perfect

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Something I'm at least grateful for is that the Penguin Emperor made himself scarce after the fight. When Orochimaru died, Manda's link to the Elemental Nations went with him, and he disappeared. Since the Emperor really only wanted to fight the snake, he went back to the arctic; I didn't want to have to explain my summons to the Hokage.

When we came back, the official story was that I got kidnapped and the Hokage saved me. Insulting? Sure. But it meant that I could still compete in the Chunin exams, which I really wanted to do. In the meantime, the Hokage had me train the other Chunin in everything I knew how to do.

Training with the teams been going well. I say teams because Hiruzen has decided that it'd be best if I was kept busy as much as possible so I've been training with _everyone_ and Kakashi was there to make sure it wasn't a clone.

I mean, Hisako and Nichiren didn't really need much; they weren't perfect but they popped one of my clones which honestly, to me, meant they were close enough. If I had to guess, they were near Jounin – probably they are Jounin.

But the rest of them? Definitely around mid-tier Chunin. And they _hated_ me, I could tell. They didn't like it when I trashed them in the Academy, they don't like it when I'm trashing them now. They aren't friends so Nakama doesn't apply to them and the low charisma is preventing them from taking it in stride or having good spirits about it.

Very sad but hopefully it'll be helpful to them regardless. If they die because they had a lack of skill at some point down the line, that would be awful.

With that in mind, I'm starting to wonder what it would take for the world to _not_ be a complete deathtrap for anyone that's not a triple S-class threat to everyone around them. I mean, the worlds had…what, three separate world wars? All about twenty years apart? My old world only had two world wars and last I checked, the third one hadn't happened after fifty years because no one wanted to see the end of the world. As opposed to here, where everyone was content to toss around city busters if it meant the other guy died and since most battles didn't take place in either side's home village, they really didn't care about collateral damage.

It's like the traditional scenario with super heroes wrecking the city every time they fight a villain, except neither side cares about collateral…so does that mean that both sides would be the villain in this case?

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/6._

You know, I'm going to go ahead and just _stop_ thinking about it. My friends aren't bad people. They really, really aren't. Nope. Hisako's a good person, Nichiren's a good person, Naruto's especially a good person. Ino, Sakura… Heck, even _Sasuke's_ a good guy, shockingly. A little dour, sure, but he's a good guy. Right? Right!

On to other matters.

The third phase of the Chunin exams is a tournament and if my exceptional luck is any indication, I'm going to be fighting Gaara. In the middle of the desert. I don't exactly know how, I don't know why, but I am. Which means I'm going to need a plan.

Best course of action would be to place a three-part seal onto the ground. As Gaara's chakra washes over the seal, the first part absorbs the chakra and prevents him from moving any of the sand beneath it. The second part transfers the chakra to the third part, which will cause the seal to grow in size. With any luck, the seal will end up covering half of the land of Suna before the match is done.

Second is that I need a method to destroy the sand that Gaara already has in play. I could use Dust Release to vaporize it, but I understand there's some people from Earth that would be really, really quick to report to the Tsuchikage that I had used it and that thought just doesn't appeal to me.

I might be the student of Copy-Wheel Kakashi, but I am not a copy-cat. I make up my own nonsense and keep what I like. Things that I like include thunderbolts, revolvers, hitting things so hard they explode, locomotion of all kinds and being invincible. But as far as this particular fight, only the last one is going to be practical.

Plasma release, actually, should be just what I need. It'll vaporize most of the sand and what it doesn't vaporize will be like molten piles of charcoal on green fire. The trick is going to be deploying the jutsu rapidly enough to respond to attacks coming from all sides, which would be a lot easier if I didn't have to use hand seals. Unfortunately, the perk for _that_ , _Sealless Jutsu_ , requires that I be level 40 which is 15 levels away.

Something that I don't think should be that hard to get, but I've got a hang-up about getting levels too fast – the game is already too easy and if it loses all of it's difficulty before canon even hits (which is completely derailed since I killed Orochimaru), I'd be sorely depressed. That is in addition to Almost Perfect starting to honestly scare me a little, but that's neither here nor there.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/9._

I think I can make something work with the Rasengan. I mean, I've been able to use it for five levels now, but I haven't really. I should fix that. With some modifications and some tweaks, I think I can use it as a…launcher for other attacks. I mean, throwing it would be really easy, but using it to throw _other_ things, like waves of plasma, would be trickier. But doable.

Do I need anything else?

Well, if Gaara proves to be a disappointing fight, should I knock him out and wake up Shukaku?

Obviously, if everyone were aware of what I was considering, they would all obviously say _no_. But I'm tempted. I need to show everyone, with no doubt or hang-ups, that I meant what I said after beheading the snake. I don't need the village. I'd like to keep my friends, obviously, but I don't think the number of friends that I have is as big as I previously thought. Obviously, all of Suna would immediately panic that it got loose, but that's whatever.

If I decide to wake him up, what do I do?

Well, I match giant monster with giant monster. What kind of giant monster?

I'm not much of a fan of Godzilla. At least, not of _being_ him. Trying to assume his form would be some kind of identity theft and I don't want it. So, if I don't want to be the King of All Monsters, who do I want to be? What is a giant monster that I am still a huge fan of after all these years?

Super Mutant Behemoth?

…little to on the nose.

Well, as long as I'm using plasma, I could try to be an Infernal. From Warcraft? Giant golem, made up of black stone and held together by green fire. And I'm already using plasma, so…why not? Why not become a giant, black golem with green flames in the face of a giant sand monster?

I can't think of a reason no too, so let's go ahead and make that that jutsu, shall we?

Well, when I get a chance. I'm being watched a lot closer, which means that I can only zip off to the vault come night-time and they're only watching the _outside_ of the room instead of me inside; I've seen them watching, I know what they're doing. The Hokage must be _paranoid_ that I'm going to sneak off.

Hisako hasn't so much as looked me in the eye since I killed Orochimaru. Given that her parents are ANBU members, I'm pretty sure she takes loyalty to the village very, very seriously and I was honestly considering treason.

Well, not treason. Desertion. Which is about the same thing without leave from the Kage.

* * *

"Daisuke, we need to talk," Hisako said, sitting across from me at the table. I was tuning the guitar for another song I was trying to learn – Center of the Universe by Kamelot. I love me some power metal but that was apparently going to sit on the side for a minute. "Now."

"Just say your piece," I replied, setting the guitar on the table.

"Are you going to listen?" Hisako asked, narrowing her eyes.

"I always listen," I replied, interlocking my fingers together. "The problem is when I disagree with what they're saying."

"Disagree?" Hisako had this incredulous look on her face. " _Disagree?_ You're talking about direct orders. From the _Hokage_. You don't _get_ to disagree. You don't get to go against orders. That's _treason_."

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/6._

"No, _treason_ is taking a direct act against the body of Konoha," I replied with a raised eyebrow. "I eliminated a traitor to Konoha and was never ordered to not go after him in the first place, so there."

Hisako hid her head in her hands with a frustrated groan. "Did you forget why you were pulled off of missions after the sewer incident?"

"You mean after I saved every clan heir in Konoha?" I asked with a frown. "I got pulled because it looked like I was in over my head. And I was. But that wasn't the first time and I went from struggling to fight a giant monster to dealing with Orochimaru like a pest. It's not the same thing."

"Right, because after that you said you were going to leave Konoha," Hisako said, starting to tear up again. She blinked the tears away. "Leave! You threatened to leave…why? Because everyone's trying to protect you?"

"I don't need their protection," I growled, shifting a glare at her. "What I _need_ is to be left alone."

"No, what you need is to stop trying to leave us behind," Hisako snarled back. "Are you so desperate to get away from us that you'd leave the village?"

"I don't even know what I want anymore," I said with a dismissive shrug. I don't want to disappoint my friends. I want to be able to roam the elemental countries freely. I want a happy ending to the world where everyone stops fighting. I want to get to level 30. I want to get to level _50_. I don't want my whole world turned upside down by horrific revelations. I want to understand the world and my place in it. I don't want to have the power to wrap anyone I meet around my finger and make them want to do anything for me. It feels like everything I want is mutually exclusive and no path leads to real happiness. "Not really."

"Can't you just want to be a good shinobi?" Hisako asked with a tint of sadness.

"If being a good shinobi means bending over backwards for every impossible demand that gets thrown my way, then no," I replied, folding my arms. "No, I don't."

"Just exercise common sense," Hisako sniffed and glared. "And follow orders. It's not har-"

"GIVE ME A BREAK!" I shouted, my fists coming down on the guitar I had set down on the table, breaking into a thousand pieces before I stood up. Hisako _recoiled_ , her hand going for the kunai holster and suddenly, I was surrounded by Jounin with weapons drawn. Wow. Really?

"Daisuke-kun," Kakashi began levelly, his voice slightly shaky. "Calm down. This doesn't have to get out of hand. Hisako is just trying to help you. That's all."

…really?

Really?

 _Really_?

Trying to please my friends just isn't working. It…fine. Screw all my doubts and worries, I'm heading to the vault and I am not coming out until I'm level 30 and I can _make them see sense_. "Fine. I'm off. You won't see me again until my issues are fixed. Don't die while I'm gone."

Hisako looked alarmed. "Daisuke-"

I was gone.

The transition from the desert to my Vault wasn't jarring any more. But this one felt…final. For good reason, but it was a little scary. I'm not even sure I'd _want_ to see them again after this. Heck, maybe all I need is to chill out.

But I said it.

I'm not leaving this vault until everything is fixed. I may have lied, a lot, in the past. That's a problem. But I want to fix it. I want my word to start being my bond, especially with something huge like this. So…time to invent jutsu, put together all the Elemental combinations, think up every jutsu I possibly can, every Ninjutsu, every Genjutsu, until I get to level 30. No matter how much the prospect of actually reaching my goal scares me.

Time to stop being a coward and hiding behind my dump stat.

* * *

Level 26 was fairly straight forward. Get Wind release, 23 points into speech, bringing it up to 63. Level 27 was another 23 points into speech, bringing it up to 86. Level 28 brought me the _Chakra Sense_ perk which not only let me sense chakra signatures automatically, rendering my sonar jutsu useless, it let me _see_ chakra. Like a discount Byakugan. I couldn't see in 359 degrees around me like Neji could, but the chakra sense was stupidly useful on its own. Level 29 saw 4 points being put into Speech, bringing it up to 90. The remaining 19 points went into _Melee Weapons_ , bringing it up to 79.

Some of the combinations turned out to be pretty fun.

Dust release was literally disintegration beams from the future which made me giggle.

Shade release, which was Water, Wind and Earth, was everything I ever needed in chakra manipulation – making me remove my Chakra Defense Network and reapply it with the Shade chakra to make it totally effective against Ninjutsu instead of only partially.

Fire, Lightning and Water made Shine release which was freaking forcefields and holograms – the obvious advantage was being able to make a clone from way off in the distance instead of right around you. Forcefields were also fun…it was literally a green lantern ring.

Quad combinations included _Solid_ release. Earth, water, wind and fire. Yeah, solid. At first, I was wondering what kind of name it was, but it's just what it said it was – solids. The ability to make permanent solids, unlike Shine Release's force fields. Metals, toxic compounds, you name it.

Space Release was Lightning, earth, wind and water, was FTG but without the seals. It was trapping someone in a never-ending corridor as it warped around them to keep them in place. It was applying FTG to them and teleporting them to a mountain top in the land of lightning while all their comrades were fighting in Earth.

Time Release was exactly what it sounded like. Move time forward, backward, freeze it, reduce it to a dripping ball of timey whimey stuff. De-age someone to the point they were never born. Age them so far ahead they're corpse is reduced to dust. With this plus space release, I could go back to my world, rewind time back to my auto accident and make it so it never happened. Or just depose of my corpse and reassume my life. That thought…honestly excited me. Enough to bring me to tears.

The thought that I might actually be able to go home was now a real possibility. But, I mean…I like it here. Kind of.

It's all I've known for twelve years now. Going on thirteen. What would Naruto do without me? Nichiren, the Ichiraku's, Ino? I don't want to leave them behind. But, since I've started this final sprint to the home stretch, one of my biggest fears has come true.

All challenges have completely evaporated. Especially with the five-element combination; Creation Release. I could go _Old Testament_ on my enemies now, and since Chakra gets denser (or rather; more powerful) more natures you master, I don't even think the tailed beasts could stand up to me now. Certainly not those zombie-things. Heck, if I wanted to go all the way, I'd lock my soul into a phylactery and use the Zombie Jutsu to reanimate me, turning myself into a Lich. Actually, come to think of it, I could do one better – I could get all the benefits without needing to be dead by using Creation release to _ascend to immortality_.

I mean, I'm not going too because I'm desperately hoping that someone, somewhere, can still put up a fight, keep a check and balance on my behavior because while absolute power does not corrupt, it does remove all barriers to corruption expressing itself and I'd be delusional if I said I was perfect. I mean…I'm trying. I just fail a lot.

Now that I've finished cataloguing my new releases, I was sitting here at a crossroads.

I only needed fifty more exp points to reach level 30.

Just one more jutsu is all it would take. I could put it off for a level, but then I'd come to the choice at level 32. Then again at level 34. And so on until I hit level 50 and then…I'd never have another chance. My perks would be my perks. I could just not take it…tell them I'm not fixing it and they'd have to deal.

But they won't.

 _Charisma Check Success: 4/4._

They won't because I scare them. Well, most of them. The Hokage definitely. I scare Hisako a little bit too…mostly she just hurt. Hurt because I'm not who she thought I was and hurt because I don't treasure the Will of Fire at all.

Oh, what twenty-nine levels of scaling will do for a dump stat. Amazing.

But the point of this power hike was to _get_ Almost Perfect. To get the perk, to fix the issue…or just flip it around so I've got the opposite problem. That's a legitimate concern, right? Right. I could wind up a total pacifist because I end up seeing something to love about everyone and then I won't do missions at all. Ever.

Stop it, Daisuke!

Just stop!

Stop worrying!

Just!

Take!

The!

Plunge!

 _Ninjutsu Check Success: 100/30._

 _+150 exp._

The room was filled with blinding light.

 _ **Bum-bum-bum-Bum!**_

 _Level up!_

Level 30.

There it was.

Right at the top.

 _Almost Perfect_.

Increase all of my base stats to 9. With all the bonuses I've got, that'll be a 10.

Just take it.

…just take it.

COME ON JUST TAKE IT!

IT'S RIGHT THERE!

I took it.

 _11_ points into Melee Weapons, bringing it to _90_. _12_ points into Barter, bringing it to _22_.

My thoughts lingered over the accept button.

Just take a deep breath.

Everything is going to change.

 _Accept_.

A vicious, rapid tingling swept its way through my body like I had just been hooked up to a nuclear power plant. With an audible _squelch_ my muscles grew and compacted themselves around my indestructible skeleton, my eyes felt like they were spinning in my sockets, my skin felt like it was redrawing itself along my muscle fibers…but none of this was unpleasant. There was no pain, just…discomfort.

Eventually…finally…it died down. I stood up straight and opened my eyes.

… _everything is so clear…_

* * *

 _Author's Notes:_ _It may look like I've written myself into a corner here. In fact, if it weren't for the social problems being the fics main draw, I would've done so. I do want to say that Daisuke being able to gain any element he wants just by mastering the basics was definitely not planned out properly because I didn't understand how nutty Naruto got as far as power goes later in the series because I've never seen Shippuden._

 _If it wasn't clear, this is the beginning of the end for Act 1. This whole exchange and problem is because I forgot to have Daisuke report that Orochimaru was in the Phase two exams and…I rolled with the mistake as I often do. I'm absolutely not perfect and I think that shows up a lot in my writing. That said, I'm not going to have Daisuke completely skip out on the exams and he will still do some quests – those quests are just going to be set-up for Act 2._

 _If you think Daisuke is completely over powered now, you are right. He is. I'm hoping that by actually handling the transition from Act 1 to Act 2 properly, we can avoid the fic becoming completely boring for everyone because I know how boring it would be if I didn't come up with unique and interesting challenges._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Raven Uzushi _and_ Javier Ricaurte, _welcome to the Circle of Patrons. Shout out also goes out too_ Avinash Bakshi, _you are awesome, congratulations on becoming a Super Patron._

 _Shout out also goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Tomer Zwighaft, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00 _and_ Devil's Bite, _your continued support means the world to me._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	57. Glorious 1080 Resolution

_The Following is a fan based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Everything was clear.

By that I mean that it was like looking through the world in glorious 1080 resolution; high definition screen. It almost seemed like I had been someone who had needed glasses their whole life and didn't realize it until I had gotten those glasses.

I had factored the charisma jump, which would be going from 1 charisma scaled to Kage-level strength to 10 Charisma scaled to Kage level strength but I hadn't figured my _Perception_ going up in such an incredible fashion. It was honestly amazing.

Well, not 10 yet. I've got some syringes I need to inject first and I'll do that now in case I forget. After all, I'm still human. Kind of.

So, I took out the cloth bundle from the storage seals that I had made a while ago. I unwrapped it, and laid it out on the vault floor, each syringe tucked away in its own pocket in the bundle.

 _Perception Check Success:_ 10/1.

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/50._

A cursory examination of the syringes revealed that none of them had been broken since I had procured them from the sewers and that the serums were still properly mixed together. Good. The first, of course, was strength. It was the first in the SPECIAL system, so it felt right.

I took my glove off and slid the needle beneath the skin on my hand into the vein there, making sure that my physical defense seal allowed it to pierce through.

As the solution was pumped from the syringe and into my hand, it started to ache just a bit. Sure, it's a smaller vein, but I just plain preferred to have shots go in my needle instead of my arm, I always had a poor experience when doctors tried to stick needles in the crook of my arm – from the needle bending in the vein to the vein exploding…just bad luck.

Probably not a factor now that I've got 10 luck but still; I want to be as stress free as possible.

As the solution finished leaving the syringe, I could the fibers of my muscles start to _tinge_ like a massive case of pines-and-needles had over taken them. I felt the additional mass fill in, making my muscles denser and more packed in, making the actual increase in size minimal.

Inhale. Exhale.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/6._

You know, Hisako really was just trying to help. Her effort was sloppy and messed up by her personal frustration with me and guided by her desire for someone she…loved, however illogically, to remain in good standing with the village she also loved; mostly so her parents would approve if they actually meet me.

I shook my head.

Love.

Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd honestly say she's just heavily infatuated, given that those feelings emerged after that dinner with Nichiren's family with the increased charisma but she still cared and found some of my quirks…my straightforwardness, my sometimes-strange vocabulary and the random bursts of insight I had to be downright endearing.

Might not be love anymore, given that I just about broke her heart. My insubordinate behavior is eating her _and_ Nichiren up inside because they are, absolutely, one hundred percent loyal to Konoha. And as Danjuro pointed out in that one chat I had with him; I'm _not_. I'm loyal to my friends who just so happen to be loyal to Konoha and that loyalties been pushed really hard by recent events.

The feeling of pins and needles left my muscles and I took a deep breath. It's interesting that simply wearing the gear that gave me the stat bonuses didn't impart this same feeling. Sure, I was able to pass checks with the gear, but there was a clear and present difference between simply being boosted by gear and having it as an intrinsic part of my character. I mean, my bonus to charisma didn't actually start improving my mental state until it boosted the stat to _seven_. What's up with that?

I shook my head. If I ever find myself playing an RPG again, I'm never voluntarily taking a dump stat ever again.

The next syringe was Perception and I injected it into my hand as I had done with the strength.

This time, the pins and needles went across my skin. My eyes were immersed in the feeling and my tongue started to twitch slightly with the odd feeling that it had, frankly, never been subjected too. My ears almost felt like they were being cleaned out and I sneezed twice. My sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell had all been improved again.

I took a breath and waited for it to die down.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/7._

…you know, I think my biological issues have really caused both me and everyone around me pain. My frustration caused me to act out which caused their frustration to mount and act out at me and so on, all because the only concept they have of someone being kept static in their development is intellectual and it's not a very clear concept. It goes against all of their instincts, all of their training, everything they've ever learned.

It's caused us both pain, and I was too stubborn and focused on getting Almost Perfect 'naturally', as it came with quests to preserve that feeling of achievement when I finally got it. But right now, I do feel accomplished and I don't feel like I didn't 'deserve' this power spike. In fact, I think I was being stupid and should've gotten it months ago when I really figured out that Jutsu Invention brings about boatloads of experience.

This isn't a game and part of my hesitance with getting Almost Perfect was because I was _treating_ it like a game. Trying to avoid 'cheating'. Trying to 'preserve the accomplishment'.

Next, Endurance. I flexed my fingers, clenching them into a fist and injected the needle into the vein. This time, I felt the pins and needles within my muscles again, but it was subdued and barely noticeable next to the sheer change that was going over my internal organs; my heart skipped a beat, my breathing became difficult as my lungs were reknitting themselves together to pump air in and out at an increased volume. My intestines were following a similar change and I wondered how irradiated the food I could eat would have to be before I got sick.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/5._

Do you know what I just realized?

I never told Naruto who his father was.

The fact that he's under surveillance honestly shouldn't have stopped me before now, it's simple enough to make clones, pull him off to my room where the blinds are _always_ drawn and explain it to him in detail. He is the son of the Fourth Hokage. He is the Jinchūriki of the Nine Tailed Fox. He is, by and large, destined for greatness.

I know who my parents are. Even if I haven't seen them in almost thirteen years, I know who they are. But Naruto? A person who I _know_ always wonders? Who tries to strive for greatness because he feels like no one in the village cares for him or about him, even his parents, save for me?

What kind of friend am I?

…I'm crying now. Screw it, it's not like anyone can see. When I get back to Konoha, I'm telling him. I'm telling him everything. I don't care if I have to let him into the vault so we can get some privacy, but I am telling him everything. If I get exiled from the village for it, so be it.

I can't believe I never told my orphan friend who his father was. At least he's discovered actual friendship with Sakura, Sasuke, Hinata, Nichiren, Hisako…so he's got a wider support group. Heck, _Sasuke's_ benefitted the most from this support group if I'm perfectly honest.

Next syringe. Charisma. The big one.

I took a breath.

The one I've been waiting for.

Into my hand.

Much like I had figured intelligence to be, Charisma was almost entirely centered in my brain, as the serum just rewired my brain to handle social interactions with greater efficiency. It also changed my skin, slightly adjusted my faces bone-structure and face, this time with the intention of making it more aesthetically pleasing.

Well…I don't need the henge anymore. Let's dispel it.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/4._

One of the things I want most of all is that, well…I just want to go home. I miss my family. I miss my culture. I miss Star Wars. I miss League of Legends. I miss just trying to be a writer and one of my only real worry trying to entertain people on the internet. I even miss _Fallout_. The real Fallout. I miss the American Culture, a place that was semi-friendly to new ideas, where technological innovation happened all the time, I didn't have to worry about being executed by the state for criticizing the leadership…

…not that Hiruzen would do that. At least not right away. He'd try talking to the person first. It's inciting _rebellion_ that would force him to take drastic measures fast. Something that I wouldn't try to do in Konoha if it ever came to that.

Konoha has a history of (relatively) benevolent leaders, and it's a point in the villages favor. Well, benevolent military dictators.

But I still want to go home. Is it possible?

 _Intelligence Check Failure: Success Not Possible._

 _Perception Check Failure: Success Not Possible._

 _Fuinjutsu Check Failure: Success Not Possible._

 _Ninjutsu Check Failure: Success Not Possible._

…shut up game. I'll find a way. At some point, somewhere down the line, I will find a way. I don't care how long it takes. I don't care what I have to do (well, I kind of do), I will find a way. I'll find a way home and out of this madhouse. You hear me?

 _I will find a way_.

 _Quest Added: The Voyage Home._

 _Find a way to return to your Earth._

 _(Optional: Stay in the Elemental Nations.)_

Is this the games way of mocking me? Telling me it's impossible using the skills I have at maximum level, and those _don't_ scale with the player level, and then giving me a quest to do it? I think it is. Whatever. I'll have the last laugh. I mean, I'd probably come back and visit a lot since I've been here for more than a decade but…yeah.

…I don't even know where to start.

I'll figure something out.

I'm going to keep the Intelligence syringe for now, I don't need the boost and I want to wait until I can make another one before I go injecting it for no reason.

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/100._

Hoo, boy. That's hard even for me! Do those plants even still exist anymore?

Whatever. The last syringe is Agility.

After the serum was injected, I felt…almost looser. Pins and needles, of course, but those were mostly set within my tendons as they became springier and more powerful. I also felt my own mind starting to change as well, and I felt my perception of events increase in speed – my eyes are capable of perceiving things moving faster now.

Or, as Captain America once put it – I can 'see faster'.

There was no Luck syringe. If he was capable of stacking the odds in a person's favor, I don't think he'd have died when fighting me. But regardless, there it was.

I was at all tens.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/10._

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/10._

I started to think over my life, looking at all the times I had been speaking to someone or otherwise interacting with them. The way I trained with the Genin over the past few weeks was all wrong. I just pointed out everything they did wrong but never once spoke of what they did right and they did some things right. It never occurred to me that they would need to hear that once in a while; how far it would've gone to ease their egos and help them actually learn what it was that I was trying to teach them.

Ai, the red-head from my class so long ago, had actually kept a dangerous habit that she had developed because she refused to see anything I said as valid because to do so was to admit that the rude perfectionist was _right_. Her resentment of me was getting in the way, to the point where she's in danger of tuning out her Jounin Sensei since he's actually started agreeing with me. Instead of finding a way around it, I just kept bashing into that wall she put up and made it stronger each time.

…if I didn't get Almost Perfect now, I might've been too late and accidentally gotten her killed.

That was really bad. I need to fix it as soon as possible.

I looked further back to when I first decided to attack Orochimaru. To that initial argument

 _"What about it? You guys already knew about it, right?"_

That was a deflection, trying to push the blame off from me and onto them. I was fairly stressed out at the time after completing the second phase of the exam and because of that stress, that mad flight to the bedroom so I can decompress by flying around the dunes without having to watched _every_ word I said while in foreign territory; it's hardly surprising that reporting Orochimaru slipped my mind.

Not surprising, but definitely bad.

 _"He's more like an A-rank…"_

Did I honestly say that? Really?

…really?

What I had not understood, and I don't think Sarutobi understood either, was that while Orochimaru was S-class…so was I. I'm pretty sure I've hit double S-class now that I've got Almost Perfect. Sarutobi had a point as well. If I didn't have the Chakra Defense Network, which absorbed all of Genjutsu's, about half of Ninjutsu's and disrupts seal placement on me…by absorbing the seal itself and letting the jutsu or chakra it was meant to keep in place just fall out of me…anyway, the point of this is that if I didn't have it or my armor, Orochimaru would've been doing over _1000 points of damage per jutsu_.

That's just a straight one-shot from me.

You know, I would've been curious before I redrew the seal with Shade Release if Orochimaru's cursed seal would've disrupted my control enough to stick and not get absorbed or if the seal would've gotten absorbed and the nature-energy thing been vented without doing anything. Now there's no contest.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/10._

Sarutobi was trying to use my disability to control me.

That revelation brought with it a splash of cold water and ignited a roaring pile of rage at the same time. The same guy who I thought was a great leader, thoroughly benevolent and Naruto's surrogate grandfather, was taking advantage of my dump stat to keep me in line, to stop me from getting too much political power too early and try to shape me into one of Konoha's loyal servants in the time they had left.

Which would never work because while I liked the place, at one point, it's a military dictatorship. It's even got a whole department named _Torture and Interrogation_. Civil Liberties don't exist there. Or if they do, it's at the whims of the Hokage and the Clans with their many bylaws. Heck, the Hyuuga enslave half of their extended family with a seal.

And Hinata's caught in the middle of that. Heck, Neji's a _victim_ of that.

I won't work for that guy. I'll try to be civil, but I'm handing in my resignation after the exams. Given this is a ninja village, I'll need to be ready for all _kinds_ of skullduggery but they let Tsunade go be a drunken, compulsive gambler so there's a chance they'll just let me leave.

Better safe than sorry, at least. I'll be sending in a clone to handle that talk.

…Naruto wants to be the guy at the head of this village.

Obviously, he'll want the Hyuuga's barbaric practice outlawed. If anyone is interested in the happiness and safety of the people in Konoha, it's _Naruto_. Sure, it might've been born out of a desire to rub his new importance in the face of a village that tries it's best to ignore his existence, but he'll learn. He _did_ learn.

Maybe I can help?

Now let's stop right there. I have no interest in molding and grooming Naruto into being a mirror image of me. He's his own person and will always be his own person. But if I can help him see more than one point of view, maybe thing's will be sped along toward that happy ending I was afraid my being here cost the Elemental Nations.

Although, if I want to do that, I'll need to be informed, which means understanding the current state of the world. Luckily, there's a quest currently burning a hole in my notebook, _1001 Tales_ , which is perfectly geared toward that. At least, in understanding Suna.

It'll probably lead to another quest and then another, but hey. That's great!

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/10._

You know, in as much as I only like Hisako as a (very attractive) friend, letting her and Ino fight over me was a scumbag thing to do. I mean, sure, I was really focused on the books I wanted to talk about them, I knew what was going on. I didn't do anything to try to put a stop to it, I didn't try to tell Hisako that it _really_ was just about the books for me, I didn't try to tell Ino…something. I could've tried _something_. I might think she's attractive for her age (she's only eleven, looks thirteen) but…I could've told her I'm holding off on dating until I'm sixteen. That would've let Hisako and Ino actually, you know, put aside their differences and we'd have actually had some good discussions.

I mean, I enjoyed it. I didn't realize I enjoyed it, but I did, and that's _bad_. It's natural, but it's bad. I'm supposed to be better than that; not just some sleazy, scumbag preteen.

Crying more now.

I should've done _something_. Maybe the book club could've _survived_ if I had. But I let my focus on the books blind me to what was going on around me. That's kind of a theme with me, focusing on one thing exclusively so I didn't think too much about the others. Focusing on Almost Perfect so I could ignore the social things I _could_ do, focusing on my age so I didn't have to worry about getting paired up…focusing on building a vault so I didn't have to build to many ties to Konoha.

Why did I ever think it was a good idea to become a Ninja for Konoha? Thinking back on it, I might not have had a choice, given my proximity to Naruto. Sarutobi really tried to impress on me the importance of becoming a Shinobi before I entered the academy.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/4._

Heh, that's kind of funny.

After I had selected my stats, I went from a normal looking baby to a statue. The matrons could barely believe that the average looking child and the new, moving statue they had were the same person. It really freaked them out until they actually recognized me. They thought I came down with something horrible. The doctor's said I was fine, they couldn't find what was wrong with me, no disease. It was just a bloodline, apparently. One that had manifested when I turned one-year-old.

All the kids _hated_ me after that. They did everything they could to get away from me – they couldn't push me around or bully me, I hit pretty hard back then, but the only person from back then who I could've even consider a friend was Naruto. My best friend.

The _ultimate_ best friend.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/10._

…oh.

At the time, I was playing with blocks. The infant Naruto had come up to me and offered to play with me, which meant a lot to me since no one else would associate with me. At all. He was amazingly compassionate, even back then. I thought he saw that I was lonely. Or that I was a good person underneath the marble. Or just because he saw everyone as equal and didn't care about social standing.

He wanted to play with me because I was the kid with the blocks.

That was it.

It was such a stupid thing, but I felt something inside me die just now. Naruto only tried to play with me because, luckily, I was playing with the blocks he wanted to play with and then I was the only kid who ever would hang out with him once the social ostracizing started to leak into the other kids.

The friendship became genuine…but it was born out of necessity, not because of some magnanimous gesture from my best friend. Not because he was some savior of men that I had build him up to be in my head.

And that hurt. That hurt a lot.

Going back through my life, forward into the academy. Met Hisako on my first day; she was nervous about being in the academy and she displayed that as a cool indifference and when I walloped her in our first match, all her fears about being seen as inadequate came true. Eventually, she came to see me as an actual friend, somehow, but she did. Then we met Nichiren, a student of another class and the guilt of him cheating on his exams was tearing him apart. We passed Kakashi's bell test because I passed a few easy speech checks and he became our dedicated support Ninja.

…you know, if Hisako wants a nice guy who'll take care of her when she's feeling down, she needs look no further than Nichiren. That guy enjoys getting better and training as much as she does, even if the fields are sometimes different.

I mean, going through the Academy, only seeing Naruto some times and with Hisako as my only real friend, though she only interacted with me during Taijutsu lessons, I picked up…a surprising number of enemies. Kids who hated my guts because I beat them in Taijutsu or corrected them in class in front of everyone.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/10._

People like Ai, or…Satoru.

Gosh, I haven't thought about that guy in forever. He got lost in the numerous faces and names of people who always tried to put me down. He always called me names, got mad when I beat him and…our last conversation.

 _"Why can't you be normal for once in your life?"_ The kid had barked at me after I slammed him to the ground for the third time today.

 _"Well, if normal means terrible at everything, like you, then no thanks,"_ I had barked out as a reply.

That came with a failed speech check, so I assumed he just blew it off.

 _Charisma Check Success 10/10._

Satoru had all the signs of having abusive parents. He had serious self-worth problems that I think the academy was trying to help him iron out, but I don't think they were really helping. I don't believe the abuse was ever physical, the Academy was especially on watch for Shinobi that had turned violent against their families because that meant they were a danger to their team, but he had serious emotional and self-esteem issues.

…and I just realized that the reason I never saw him again after that is because he committed suicide that night – partly because of my scathing insult.

I had accidentally helped push a child to suicide.

And I didn't even remember he existed until today.

I fell against the wall, the coolness of the synthetic metal bleeding through my jacket and shirt. My breath had left me as this revelation had snuck in. He was just a face in the crowd. He wasn't anyone I knew at all. But he was a person. A person with hopes and dreams just like everyone else and I helped push him off of the edge.

…why?

Why did I put Charisma as the dump stat? So, I could be obscenely lucky? So that the odds would always be weighted in my favor? Was it worth the cost of one of my detractors taking his own life? _He was just a kid._

Words can cause emotional pain. I knew that too well. Sometimes the burden lies on the person being offended, as no offense was meant and they need to toughen up. But other times? I couldn't just watch what I said? I was being ostracized heavily but I couldn't just be a bit more compassionate? To _not_ insult someone back?

Especially when that person believed he wasn't worth anything? He needed Naruto in his life…he didn't get Naruto in his life. If I could've only known…

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/5._

I didn't mean to insult Hisako there. I was just telling her that I didn't like that flavor dango. I mean, my tone was really, _really_ harsh and I think I could've watched it, but _still_ …

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/7._

If Nichiren wanted to stop getting his shin kicked, he needed to stop leaving that as an opening. I needed to _tell_ him that or he'd die later because of it…did I really need make him feel stupid there?

 _Charisma Check Success 10/5._

An argument with Naruto over Ramen…telling him I thought raw eggs cooking on top of the ramen broth while he was eating it was disgusting…and he accidentally took it as me thinking he was disgusting for liking it. He came around, but I didn't mean to insinuate _that_.

 _Charisma Check Success 10/7._

I accidentally slammed a door in an old lady's face when walking out of a grocery store…she thought I was going to hold it open for her because I saw her and I caused her to fall and nearly break her back.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/6._

…I wasn't trying to insinuate that the Fourth did a bad job of teaching Kakashi. I was just pointing out that he was mistaken about a few things but everyone's wrong about _something_. I really hurt his feelings there before he figured that I didn't mean it that way.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/5._

…I wasn't trying too…

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/4._

That's not what I meant!

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/7._

I would _never_ intentionally insinuate that someone should go jump off of a cliff. Especially not _Hinata_.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/5._

Tears were flowing freely.

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/4._

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/9._

…make it stop…

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/6._

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/7._

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/3._

 _…please make it stop…_

* * *

 _Author's Notes: It's done._

 _It's finally done._

 _This is exactly what I had wanted to have happen the first time I wrote this out…but I tried to smash it in with him deciding to leave and then leaving and then…I just tried to push in too much in at once and all the meaning I wanted to put into what would actually happen when someone almost incapable of Empathy got all of it at once. The result is that it would cause unheard of amounts of guilt and_ break _them._

 _The reason Daisuke was having such a hard time raising his Charisma earlier, so he could actually think about a lot of this and process it is that trying to add onto it slowly wouldn't actually resolve it, it would just have made the buildup more gradual and Daisuke's depression would've just gotten worse and worse as time went on – there wasn't much in the way of support his friends could do save maybe Naruto, Ayame and Ino, but they wouldn't be able to help him sift through all of it…at that rate, it would've taken him years to sort through it all. There's only so much they can do. What I'm trying to say is that the extra charisma, especially as it started scaling, would've been disastrous for him to obtain; his Luck was working overtime to make sure he stayed away from it until he could actually handle it._

 _Needless to say, that when Daisuke decided to just get it_ right now _, his luck's hands were tied. It's poetic in a way; the thing that Daisuke brought up did everything to keep the thing he gave up away._

 _After this…we'll have to see what happens, but Act 1 is speeding to a close._

 _Here's the character sheet I had promised some of you._

Daisuke Character Sheet –

Level 30

HP: 590

CH: 145

SPECIAL STATS:

STR: 10

PER: 10

END: 10

CHA: 10

INT: 10

AGILITY: 10

LCK: 10

Skills:

1\. Tai Jutsu (Endurance): 100

2\. Melee Weapons (Strength): 89

3\. Ranged Weapons (Agility): 100

4\. Genjutsu (Perception): 80

5\. Ninjutsu (Endurance): 100

6\. Speech (Charisma): 100

7\. Barter (Charisma): 20

8\. Sneak(Agility): 100

9\. Pick Lock(Perception): 30

10\. Fuuinjutsu(Intelligence): 100

11\. Medicine (Intelligence): 100

12\. Survival (Perception): 36

13\. Chakra Control(Intelligence): 100

Feats:

2\. Intense Training (Luck)

4\. Educated

6\. Silent Jutsu

8\. Taijutsu Enthusiast

10\. Chakra Seals.

12\. Toughness

14\. Tattooed Armory

16\. One Handed Jutsu.

18\. Elemental Training: Water.

20\. Adamantium Skeleton

22\. Elemental Training: Earth.

24: Elemental Training: Fire.

26: Elemental Training: Wind.

28: Chakra Sense.

30: Almost Perfect.

Other Perks:

Nakama.

Element: Lightning.

Known Combinations:

Two Element:

Storm.

Plasma.

Ice.

Magnet.

Scorch.

Boil.

Volcanic.

Swift.

Wood.

Three Element:

Fission.

Dust.

Acid.

Shine (called Light previous chapter).

Shade (called Dark previous chapter).

Four Element:

Time.

Space.

Solid.

Five Element:

Creation.

 _Getting the Almost Perfect boost also boosted all the appropriate skills by 10 due to the Stat being factored into it's base rank outside of skills. If I missed anything, let me know._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi, _your continued support means the world to me._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	58. Do No Harm

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

It was the day of the Tournament. Phase 3 of the Chunin Exams. The time when Konoha needed all hands-on deck. The Hokage had to be present to ensure the Kazekage felt the suitable amount of courtesy and respect owed as the host of the Exams as well as making sure the Tsuchikage and Raikage didn't try to seize the allegiance away from Konoha. Each of the teams needed to be there, even if they weren't competing the cheer on their fellow teammates.

There was just one person that wasn't there.

That was Shimoda Daisuke.

Hiruzen took a puff of his pipe, sitting there in the Kage box at the end of the row. Directly to his left was the Kazekage, his face covered. Further left was the Tsuchikage, Onoki sitting there with an impassive expression and on the furthest seat was A, who sat there with his arms folded, glaring at the field as if daring it to try anything against his Shinobi.

Hisako had been reprimanded, of course, her attempts at venting her anger had accomplished the exact opposite of what the Hokage needed. Shimoda had been out of line, but the matter had been handled and now what the Hokage feared since their argument in the dunes after his battle with Orochimaru had happened – Daisuke had left. Perhaps permanently.

Given Daisuke's statements, it was easy to see that Shimoda's loyalty was faltering. According to the Will of Fire, a Shinobi needs to feel safe, protected and most importantly, loved to be a strong asset to the village. Daisuke's handicap was biological and attempting to teach him in the traditional ways had only eroded the Genin's trust.

The Hokage took another puff of his pipe, surveying the arena below.

It had seemed to work at first; Kakashi had reported resounding success with the tactics training, and so they had assumed that they had finally started to get through to him. Unfortunately, they had assumed wrongly; something else had gotten through to him, and they didn't know what it was. Perhaps Daisuke's unique summons had something to do with it?

They needed to understand what it was if they wanted to get through to him in the future. His handicap, as had been slapped in his face several times over this trip, was both a problem of personality and a problem of biology and it was the latter they had not truly taken into consideration.

Hiruzen took a moment to refill his pipe and light it with a fire jutsu. The Tsuchikage and the Raikage were both engaging in diplomatic chest pounding, while the Kazekage attempted to play mediator and make sure they remembered they were in _his_ village and thus; guests.

Cell 13 was as distraught as any team in this position should be. Hisako hid her feelings behind a steely façade as she trained with the other teams. Nichiren, however, was afraid.

"We had a Shinobi with flawless Taijutsu and the ability to make up Ninjutsu on a whim," Nichiren had said. "And we just made him very, very angry."

Hiruzen had almost agreed with him and he was right about one thing, making Shimoda Daisuke angry was a very, very bad thing. But if there was one thing he had learned about Shimoda, it was that he was no Orochimaru. They were both genius's, but that was where the similarity ended. He actually _cared_ about his friends and his team, anger at Hisako not-withstanding. They just needed a way to get him back, and there was a plan in place.

Shimoda's involvement in the exams had not been canceled as part of a gamble – if there was one thing that the Hokage could count on, it was Daisuke's thirst for combat bringing him back. Of course, if he didn't show up, it would be downright embarrassing for the entire village.

It would be tempting to try to simply capture him, leverage the Yamanaka to rewrite his mind. It was something that Hidden Stone or Hidden Cloud, or Danzo would've done in a heartbeat. But the Hokage had the Will of Fire and such an action would be considered abhorrent to anyone who truly held the Will of Fire as sacred.

Hiruzen was one such person. Such a thing had been ordered in the case of the Kurama clan, it would _never_ happen again if he had anything to say about it.

The announcer down in the arena had announced the first match. The Sand Genin with a puppet arm verses one of the Cloud Genin. The Hokage paid attention as it was his duty; he had been curious how much trouble the Suna Genin would turn out to be given he was a prodigy of puppeteering.

The match went on with the Suna Genin victorious and Hiruzen nodded to himself. He could potentially be a _lot_ of trouble.

The next match featured Hisako, fighting a Genin from stone. The match was over in seconds as Hisako unleashed a senbon barrage, paralyzing the Genin before she even knew what happened and she fell over. Being declared the victor, Hisako reclaimed her needles quickly and quietly, taking her spot in the stands after.

The next, another Cloud Genin and another Stone Genin. They were serviceable. The Cloud Genin won by impressively using a Shoto, but other than that, both were unremarkable.

Afterwards, was Nichiren's time to shine, fighting a Genin from cloud. It lasted seconds, just like the previous one. Nichiren drove into the ground and wires sprung up from the ground, tying the Genin to the ground, then had a cloth with chloroform wrapped around the Genin's face to induce a swift knockout.

Hiruzen sighed and puffed his pipe. Neither of Cell 13's current members were in any mood for showmanship; perhaps he should simply have given the team a battlefield promotion shortly after the Sewer Incident. It would've solved many, many different problems.

More fights, some dramatic because the Genin loved to hear themselves speak, some short because of the sheer difference in skill. Eventually, they landed at the last match of the first round.

"Final match of round one," The Proctor called out. "Shimoda Daisuke and Nogi Ayako."

A sudden blur arrived in the arena and the Hokage stopped to catch his breath. _Shimoda had returned_. Clad in his blue armored coat, gauntlets and boots, but also wearing a mask similar to his Sensei's. That would mean he wants to hide his appearance, which if the earlier reports of Daisuke's 'super henge' were accurate, means he had succeeded.

His problem was solved.

Which could mean a dozen new ones have cropped up…or everything was going to be fine.

Hope for the latter, prepare for the former.

The Hokage leaned in.

"Begin!"

The Proctor called.

Ayako, the Cloud Ninja flew into a flurry of hand-signs, her hands cackling with lightning. Daisuke simply rolled his shoulders. Ayako threw the lightning bolt out. "Lightning Release: Shock Bolt Jutsu!"

Daisuke slid to the side almost instantly, dodging the bolt that impacted the back of the arena. Then he charged forward, fist cocked back. The Hokage gripped his pipe tightly as he instantly wondered with dread if Daisuke remembered his command not to kill any of the other examinees.

But then Daisuke's fist _slowed_. Visibly slowed enough to give Ayako the opportunity to parry or dodged the blow. She parried, and did so without being blown into bloody chunks across the arena. The Hokage let out a long, long puff of smoke. Daisuke had remembered.

The two engaged in a melee, neither saying a word. To the Hokage's surprise, Daisuke was making a show of being on the defensive, allowing the other Genin to attack and show what she could do. Occasionally, she'd jump away and perform a lightning Jutsu, and Daisuke, instead of simply charging forward and stopping her from casting it like the Hokage _knew_ he could do, allowed her to do so, dodging to the side and moving forward to chase after her to reengage her in melee.

This cycle repeated twice more before Ayako simply started running, throwing bolts of lightning behind. Daisuke chased after her, performing seals of his own and blowing a large number of small fireballs out at her. She dodged, but the balls fell to the ground behind her, leaving field of burning pits that she now had to dodge.

 _Impressive_ , The Hokage started to smile.

"You'd think he'd just end the fight," The Kazekage mused. Daisuke's mission history was on record, of course, so they all knew that he had taken on two S-rank missions and had grade 5 Ninjutsu and Taijutsu. "His teammates did so."

"We train our Genin well," The Raikage sneered.

"After the previous two members of his team simply shut their opponents down, I think he's trying for the showmanship angle," Onoki weighed in with a dismissive sniff of his red nose. "Doing an adequate job of it, no more."

Eventually, the fight was ended, with Shimoda shoving Ayako to the ground and her failing to muster the energy to get back up. "Shimoda Daisuke is the winner."

Daisuke disappeared, and reappeared in a seat at the far end of the arena.

The Hokage let out a sigh of relief. Things were going well. So far.

The Tournament continued. Ai, a member of team 3, was able to win her engagement with an impressive use of Bunshin. Nichiren, now smiling in relief the entire time, turned the arena into his own personal spider web, climbing and dropping from them while the beleaguered, Shoto-using Cloud Genin desperately tried to follow him and failed miserably. The only thing chopping at the ninja wire accomplished was a chipped blade.

Unsurprisingly, Nichiren was declared the winner.

Hisako's 'match', if you could call it that, was just an extended comedy act. She attached a Genjutsu to her opponent, making him believe he was in a desperate melee with Hisako and while he attacked, blocked and whirled against a phantom opponent, Hisako stood to the side, gesturing to him and looking utterly confused.

Onoki had buried his face in his hands in shame for his Genin. The Raikage looked at him with a glare that was not entirely without sympathy. The Genin ended up tiring himself out, collapsing in a heap and Hisako was declared the winner.

Daisuke's next match was more of the same. A careful look at him as the fight was started revealed that, yes, he did have his 'weapon' on him. He just wasn't using it and the Hokage wanted to applaud his restraint. Then he thought that it was remarkable that he wanted to applaud a ninja for just following orders.

Hiruzen held in a sigh, so as to not signal to the other Kage's he was troubled; it would not do to show any form of weakness. But he would need to have another talk with Daisuke and for all he knew, he might've been a completely different person with completely different motivations; it seemed like too much to hope that he was simply the same person but with a greater understanding of the world he inhabited. Enough, at least, that he would exercise common sense.

The match ended in Daisuke's favor. Of course.

Next round. The Suna Genin with the puppet arm against the final Cloud Genin. The Suna Genin won by dousing the nin in a poison cloud. A looked thoroughly disappointed. Hisako fought another Genin from Stone and beat her in seconds, dual wielding Kunai. The next match was Daisuke…fighting Nichiren.

"Hey, no hard feelings, right?" Nichiren asked hopefully, the sound of his voice carrying all the way to the Kage box.

Daisuke's only response was to shake his head.

"Right…great…" Nichiren said, sounding disheartened.

The match started. Nichiren jumped straight into the air, starting to weave his spider-web again and Daisuke sunk into the ground without a word. Nichiren sat high in his web, scanning the ground for Daisuke, waiting for him to charge out with his fist ready.

The web was anchored by a series of steel bolts that had dug into the walls of the arena. That detail only became relevant when Daisuke emerged near one of the walls, his hands cackling with lightning. He grabbed one of the wires, which just so happened to be the one Nichiren was standing on. Nichiren jumped to another wire, causing Daisuke to dive into the ground once again and reappear at the end of the new wire. The web that had been meant to ensure Nichiren's safety had become a deathtrap.

This continued until Nichiren had finally stepped on the wrong wire and was shocked, collapsing to the ground, face first. Daisuke ran to his side, and knelt, checking his pulse. With a groan, Nichiren stirred, and faced himself up.

"The winner is Shimoda Daisuke," The Proctor announced.

Daisuke extended his hand to help Nichiren up, and he took it.

"Good match," Nichiren said, sounding just a little nervous.

Daisuke's only response was to nod his head.

That was concerning.

If there was anything Daisuke was, it was talkative. He was constitutionally incapable of keeping a secret. Well, not incapable, he just didn't _care_. Sure, he was anti-social, disliked meeting new people that weren't targets and his only interest, by and large, was missions, but when you got him started on something like Jutsu, he wouldn't stop. Some of what he said was revolutionary but most of it was incomprehensible. Sometimes you couldn't tell which was which until after you thought about it, but he was _talkative_.

Now he wasn't saying anything at all.

Was it something as benign as sounding different and wanting to wait until a proper introduction or has his mindset changed where he doesn't want to say anything at all? The former was understandable, the latter could be disastrous for their R&D at the absolute least.

An aide came to the Kazekage's ear and whispered something, handing him a clipboard. After a moment of examining the clipboard, he leaned toward the Hokage.

"Hokage-dono, it has come to my attention that the last match will feature three competitors," The Kazekage whispered to Hiruzen. "Two of them are from your village. In the interest of keeping things fair and providing more entertainment to our potential clients, I have a solution."

"Go ahead," The Hokage replied.

"My own son is a highly skilled shinobi in his own right," The Kazekage eyes narrowed as if they were smiling. "I suggest that he and Shimoda be the final match of Phase 3."

The Hokage took a moment to think.

Shimoda might know that Gaara is the Jinchūriki. He wouldn't have any reason to know, but he had known things he shouldn't have before. If that was the case, this fight would be Daisuke-kun's wettest dream. It was all there, challenge, a suitably strong opponent, lots of progress toward his next level of power, everything he could possibly want.

A fight like this, so long as Shimoda didn't kill Gaara, might go a long way to repair the burning bridges between the Hokage and Daisuke. Then maybe, just maybe, given his newfound awareness that may or may not actually exist, they might be able to have a conversation. A real conversation. About his behavior, about the misunderstandings that have happened, about what they're going to do in the future.

"That is acceptable," The Hokage nodded, standing. "I will go speak with him, we wouldn't want to leave our future clients without a grand finale, would we?"

"No, we wouldn't," The Kazekage stood turned to the other two Kage. "We will return shortly after arranging for the final two rounds. Please Kage-dono, help yourselves to the refreshments, have as much as you want."

Onoki and A offered their thanks, everyone gave a formal bow of farewell.

Hiruzen used the brief time in the trip from the Kage box to Daisuke's seat down to prepare. Of course, that time was brief, and he quickly found himself standing next to Daisuke's seat. Sitting next to him was Hisako, who had been looking at her newly returned teammate with wariness and then Nichiren to the side from her, looking nervous. "Daisuke-kun."

Daisuke slowly turned to face him. His eyes seemed more…alive than before. Less statue like. Hisako and Nichiren turned to face him as well.

"The final round was going to be a three-way fight, with two of the nin being from Konoha. In the interest of preserving fairness, the Kazekage has offered to allow you to fight his son, Sabaku no Gaara, whom you met," The Hokage explained. "I had accepted the offer. Will you be alright doing so?"

Daisuke nodded.

"Are you aware of the…unusual circumstances surrounding his son?" The Hokage asked.

Daisuke nodded again. There was no look of confusion, no deadpan and annoyed expression that conveyed his lack of understanding or his bloodline telling him that, yet again, he had failed to understand something, just a nod.

"Do your best not to kill him. But if he makes that impossible, do what must be done," The Hokage ordered with a frown.

Daisuke nodded again.

The Hokage stayed for just a moment to see if Daisuke would say anything.

"Hokage-sama," Daisuke finally spoke. His voice was soft and quiet, almost to the point that Hiruzen had missed it. "So long as I don't kill Gaara, do you care how I handle the fight?"

Hiruzen blinked. "No. I do not care. Just…make it flashy."

Daisuke nodded and made to sit down.

"And Daisuke-kun," The Hokage said. "After the tournament, we need to have a talk."

Daisuke stopped, looked at Hiruzen, and nodded. Then he sat down and The Hokage shunshin'd back to the Kage-box.

"Well?" Onoki huffed, cup of sake in hand. "Don't keep us in suspense. What's going on with the final fight?"

"It was going to be a three-way brawl," The Kazekage replied. "A treat for our potential clients who haven't seen something like this before. But since two of the combatants are from the same village, we've broken them up into two fights. One of the finalists will be fighting my son Gaara. The other two combatants will fight each other."

"And Hokage-dono agreed to this," Onoki's eyebrow had raised as high as it could.

"I did," Hiruzen nodded.

"You're both very confident, it seems," A explained with a raised eyebrow.

"We're just wanting to give the clients a show," The Kazekage said coyly.

It was patently obvious that every Kage was hoping for a fatality, Hiruzen included. As the Jinchūriki with power over the sands, Gaara was all kinds of terrifying to fight on the battlefield, no matter who you were. If the Land of Wind had more resource value, to make it worth conquering, Gaara would be the only reason no one would actually try.

Of course, the other Kage were hoping Daisuke would die horrifically because none of them wanted to see what he would do to their forces once he reached Jounin. In A and Onoki's wildest dreams, it'd be a double fatality.

"Next match of the two final matches, Yamada Hisako and Ueda Aritomo. Contestants, are you ready?"

The next match started. Hisako opened with a Genjutsu, which was quickly dispelled. Ueda's puppet arm opened and started shooting senbon at Hisako, who jumped into the air to dodge and threw out needles of her own. Eventually, they both ran out of needles, so Hisako charged with a pair of Kunai in her hands.

Ueda jumped back, leaving a cloud of poisonous gas from his arm behind him, which Hisako barely stopped herself from entering, instead charging around the cloud as the wind blew it away in the opposite direction.

Two more clouds that Hisako only barely avoided entering and then they were set to Taijutsu. A sword extended from Ueda's arm and the two met each other in a melee. Kicks, punches, slices, stabs until Hisako managed to break the puppet by bringing her kunai's pommel down onto a critical point, causing it to fall apart.

She kicked him to the ground and held him at knife point.

"The winner is Yamada Hisako," The announcer called. "The next match will be between Shimoda Daisuke and the Kazekage's own son, Sabaku no Gaara!"

Gaara appeared in the arena in a large gust of sand and wore a blood thirsty smile on his face, as if he had been looking forward to this for a month. Given the reports on the Kazekage's son, he likely was. Daisuke had taken his spot opposite of the Jinchūriki.

"Contestants ready?" The Announcer asked, sounding just a little nervous. "Begin!"

Daisuke jumped to the rear end of the arena, his hands flying through seals before activating some jutsu. The trouble with Daisuke and his techniques was that he was not in the habit of announcing his jutsu which while robbing enemies of knowledge of what was to come, it prevented his allies from knowing when something impossibly dangerous was heading their way.

Gaara sent a tidal wave of sand at Daisuke and Daisuke…just walked toward him. Just walked. Made no attempt to dodge to one side or the other, just walked.

The Hokage took a long puff of his pipe. _This had better be good_.

As the sand rushed toward him, a distinct hum started to rise at the edge of Hiruzen's hearing. Then the sand started to… _warp_. It was as if some Genjutsu had been placed on them, because the sand that had rushed toward Daisuke was twisted and contorted by some, unseen hand, forced to divert its course and go around him.

The hum had grown loud, surging in volume with each attempt by Gaara's sand to crush and destroy the Shinobi walking toward him but passing harmlessly around him. Gaara himself was now growing frantic, pulling sand from outside the arena and shoving it at Daisuke, adding to the hurricane of sand that trying and failing to murder the opponent.

Hiruzen suppressed the urge to laugh at the Kazekage's twitching eye.

Until finally, Daisuke had reached Gaara. Daisuke flipped through several hand signs and placed his open palm on Gaara's stomach, and the sandstorm died immediately. With that done, Daisuke withdrew several paces back.

"Wha-what did you do?" Gaara demanded.

"You should be getting control of your sand in a few minutes," Daisuke replied, clearing his throat. "As for what I did, I fixed and improved the seal that had been written on your stomach."

"You what?" Gaara also demanded, taking a step back, looking down right terrified. "Why can't I hear mother?"

"I'm afraid that wasn't your mother you were hearing," Daisuke replied sternly. "That was Shukaku, the demon sealed inside you. As for why you can't hear him, I added some tools for you to use to shut him out and prevent him from speaking to you if you don't want him too. Ultimately, he won't be able to take over your body while you sleep and he won't be able to give you nightmares any more. You can still talk with him if you wish, but I would recommend doing so sparingly until you come to some sort of peaceful arrangement. Your sand will still spring up to defend you, asleep or awake, regardless."

Gaara was sputtering, even as the sand around him started to rise again.

"I think what you can take away from this is that you can finally get some goodnights sleep again," Daisuke summed up, sounding like he was smiling underneath his mask. "After this match, I'd recommend doing so. Going as long as you have without sleep isn't really healthy."

"But…why?" Gaara looked thoroughly lost and confused.

"Because I could," Daisuke nodded. "And it seemed like you could use the help."

"…why didn't you kill me?" Gaara said, still sounding completely thrown off.

"I didn't want too," Daisuke shrugged.

"But…that…I…" Gaara's sputtering was starting to sound comical.

"I didn't want to hurt you," Daisuke explained.

"But you should be trying to justify your existence," Gaara objected.

"My existence doesn't need justification," Daisuke answered with pity. "Neither does yours. Anyway, I've got things to do, I think you should go take that nap. I think I'll still be in the village for the day if you've got any more questions."

"The winner is Shimoda Daisuke," The announcer called from his place near the top of the stands, sounding thoroughly confused.

Then he zipped back to his seat.

Hiruzen sat there, in his seat, thoroughly dumbfounded. Absolutely, completely dumbfounded. From his singular most blood thirsty, vicious and almost amoral Genin came perhaps one of the greatest gifts of generosity and kindness that he had ever seen.

He took a puff from his pipe. _Things have changed_.

* * *

The Hokage had gathered everyone together. Kakashi, Anko, Hisako, Nichiren and himself. It was time to finally speak with the new Daisuke, who stood off from the group, shuffling nervously in his feet.

"Alright, Daisuke…do you feel comfortable taking off your mask?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, give me a second," Daisuke pulled his mask down and lifted the goggles off of his eyes, revealing Daisuke…but looking healthy. His skin had a natural tone to it and his eyes seemed to shine with both a new life and a… sadness behind them. "I didn't want everyone to freak out when I showed up looking and sounding so differently, thus the mask."

"Daisuke…" Hisako almost looked breathless.

"It's still me, Hisako," Daisuke replied, wearing a gentle smile on his face that seemed so genuine it almost seemed impossible that this was still Daisuke. "It's finally fixed."

"I'll say," Nichiren said with a smile of his own.

"So…what was _that_?" Hisako asked. "In the arena?"

"I saw a kid who desperately needed some help," Daisuke shrugged. "I don't feel bad for what I did, I figured that if I could help set him on the road to recovery, that'd strengthen our ties to Suna. We do want that, right?"

"We do, yes," The Hokage replied with a nod, still trying to figure out what to make of this Shinobi.

"Anyway, I do have something I want to talk about before we go any further," Daisuke said, looking firmly at the Hokage.

"And what is that?" Hiruzen asked with a frown.

"The matter of my resignation," Daisuke said with a frown of his own.

Hisako and Nichiren both groaned in severe disappointment.

Of all the things that the Hokage didn't want to hear at that moment, that was pretty high up there. "And why are you resigning?"

"I'm unfit for duty," Daisuke replied matter-of-factly. "In my lust for blood and power, seeking progress at all costs and my general mental instability, I've repeatedly violated Konoha's code of conduct and demonstrated that I'm a danger to both myself and those around me. I have no desire to continue this trend and I don't want to put my fellow shinobi at risk."

Hisako's mouth fell open.

"Normally, I would agree with you," Hiruzen replied. "But you just saw the plight of a complete stranger and moved to help them. I do not believe that you remain a danger as you say."

"While I have achieved a greater awareness of my behavior and the affect it has, that does not mean that my instability has been cured," Daisuke explained with a frown. "If pressed, I cannot guarantee that I won't act rashly or without thought simply because the problems are still there. They're getting better, but I'm not going to be at the point where I'm serviceable for a long time, if ever."

Hiruzen let out a breath. "There's still the arrangement we came too after you had handled Orochimaru. Would you be opposed to a trial run, just to see if you can handle missions acceptably? If not, we will allow you to resign."

"Thank you," Daisuke let out a sigh of relief.

"But only if Konoha can call upon you in a state of emergency," Hiruzen replied, recalling the condition that his pupil Tsunade was allowed to roam the country side as a drunk gambler.

Daisuke stopped for a minute. "That is acceptable. But I refuse to have anything to do with assassinations."

"That is fine," Hiruzen smirked. "We were never interested in having you perform assassinations…you're much more suited to open warfare."

Daisuke looked at the ground in…was that shame?" Yes I am, Hokage-sama. Yes I am."

 _Things have changed,_ Hiruzen thought as Hisako placed a hand on Daisuke's shoulder with a concerned look. _Things have definitely changed._

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Some of you have noted a confusion, so allow me to set the record straight. All chapters up to the Vault are part of the stories first draft and were posted on a forum called SpaceBattles. Everything after it on FFnet is part of the stories second draft. So when I talk about having written something 'the first time around', I'm referring to the first draft of events that was written, posted, and eventually reviled._

 _The first time I wrote Daisuke's Chunin exam, he had completely forgotten to take care of Gaara's bad seal_ _and ended up waiting for the Canon invasion to begin to before he did anything about it. This, again, is because I forgot about it as an author and had to be reminded by my entire reader base that he had forgotten._

 _Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and it's perspective. I think I wanted to give us some time away from Daisuke so we can get ready to get into his head again with his new perspective._

 _Shout out goes out to Super Patrons_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _Your continued support means the world to me._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	59. Interlude: Aftermaths

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Before today, Daisuke had only one real smile. Sure, he had obnoxiously fake 'camera' smile that everyone had, he had one where he tried to show that he was happy that looked like he had an out of place smile stickered onto his face by someone defacing a statue.

The real smile? The only genuine one he had before today?

Hisako had only seen it once.

It looked as if his lips had parted to reveal what seemed to be a mouth full of fangs. His eyes gleamed with the promise of power and blood. If she hadn't known better, she'd have almost said that this smile would've been visible through the dark as if a monster hiding in the shadows had found its prey.

But she had never had to see if this suspicion was true; Daisuke did not hide in the dark. He was the type to turn the lights on just so everyone could see the coming battle. He had a penchant for fair play that she thought was adorable, if not a little dangerous.

But this new Daisuke?

He almost seemed to be a different person.

His smiles no longer looked painted on, he seemed to be paying attention through the entire conversation instead of zoning out the second he lost interest and contributed just enough to get the other person talking again. His eyes no longer flitted from almost lifeless to alert almost at the drop of a needle, they ran the gamut emotion like a normal person's. Almost more than a normal person's, in fact.

It was disconcerting, bordering on disturbing. How could someone whose habits and personality were so set in stone change so drastically over a tiny period of _two weeks?_

The effect his 'bloodline' had on him and how drastic his power spikes could be had never been clearer to her. In fact, she could honestly say this was the first time it _was_ clear to her. It had always seemed ethereal, the way he seemed to grow. Intellectually, she knew his growth was abrupt, that it came in spurts. But this was the first time she ever truly saw it for what it was.

Hisako shook her head.

"If you really care for him, accept his best efforts," Her father had told her before she left for the exams. "He cannot do more and it does not make sense to hold a shinobi to a higher standard than they are capable of achieving. But do not accept anything less, either; he's better than that and so are you."

She had done her best to do so. But now what did she do?

Can she say anything to him now?

His memory was perfect, if only limited to the times he was paying attention. He'd remember every slight, every unkind word, every hurtful thing she had done to him and she doubted he'd remember the times he hurt her and the team with the same severity. It was a biological handicap that was behind his troubles, after all.

Hisako watched as he gracefully exited a conversation with two Jounin Sensei's and walked up to his room. He didn't teleport, didn't Shunshin, didn't make it apparent that he wanted away from everyone everywhere as fast as possible, he simply walked.

Kakashi was watching Daisuke from his spot, leaning on the corner. Hisako walked over to him. "Sensei."

"Hisako-chan," Kakashi gave her a nod. "You feeling confident about your promotion?"

"I do," She nodded. "I destroyed everyone I fought. If we don't get promoted, I'm going to be shocked."

"You did well," Kakashi eye-smiled. "Everyone did well. I'm so proud."

"Thanks, Sensei," Nichiren said, also walking up. "So…about Daisuke…"

Hisako shook her head and brushed one of her loose tresses of hair out of her face. "I don't know what we're going to say."

"What do we say?" Nichiren asked, taking his glasses off and cleaning them. Not because they needed cleaning, but because he played with his glasses when they were nervous. "Hey, Daisuke. Sorry for literally every bad thing we've done to you that we don't remember. You did plenty of bad things yourself, but your brain was messed up so it's okay. Even though that's your fault too."

"Nichiren," Hisako growled at him.

"Hey, hey. Both of you calm down," Kakashi said, placing his hands on both of their shoulders. "We should go talk to him, at the least. See what he's actually thinking instead of trying to guess."

"Right," Nichiren agreed, replacing his glasses. "Because we can do that now. That's going to take some getting used to."

"I really just want to know if he's going to retire," Hisako explained, pulling her red jacket to a closer fit. "I don't want him being a transient doing nothing for anyone. That'd be so sad."

"Well, let's go talk to him and you can ask," Kakashi pressed.

The three moved up the stairs. Kakashi motioned for Hisako to knock on the door and she did so.

"Yes?" Daisuke asked from the other side.

"Daisuke," Hisako replied. "It's us. Your team…can we come in."

No response for a minute.

"I mean, it's okay if you-"

"Come in," Daisuke interrupted.

Hisako opened the door right on time to see Daisuke turning on the light. "Hey, come on in. You wanted to talk, yes?"

"Yeah," Hisako replied, nodding rapidly. "We did, yeah. What've you been doing?"

"Just now?" Daisuke asked with a melancholic expression. "Thinking. That's all. So, what's up?"

At the thought of her crush simply sitting alone, in the dark, thinking when he could be up and about doing something made Hisako frown. "Just, well. Wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm as well as could be expected," Daisuke answered with a frown of his own. "You? I think you're going to get promoted."

"Thanks, Daisuke," Hisako replied. "I tried really hard to at least make things entertaining for our clients."

"It was hilarious," Daisuke agreed. "Throwing a Genjutsu on your opponent for the sole purpose of making him look like a fool? Great. Nichiren, I thought that spider-web of yours was really clever."

"I thought it was too, until you turned it into an electrical death trap," Nichiren replied with a frown.

"Eh, if I were a normal shinobi, I would've run out of chakra trying that strategy long before you did," Daisuke explained with a shrug. "So, don't sell yourself short, I was just using my strengths to my advantage."

Nichiren blinked. "Thanks."

"Sensei," Daisuke took a breath. "Thanks. For everything. For teaching us as much as you did. I know it was hard, but you came through. For all of us."

"I don't think I was able to teach you much," Kakashi replied with a hand on Daisuke's shoulder. "But I appreciate the sentiment. And in spite of everything, you did grow. Outside of this…power spike you've received. You really did and I don't think I gave you enough credit for it. So, let me fix that; I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Sensei," Daisuke replied with a sheepish grin.

"So are you still going to retire?" Hisako asked.

"Unless something changes my entire world-view around, again, about my involvement with the Shinobi corps," Daisuke took a breath frowned. "I am retiring after the trial run is over. It's not like the Hokage can disagree or anything."

"He really can't," Kakashi replied with a sigh. "You've helped expose traitors in Konoha, ensured the safety and security of Konoha's most treasured Kekkei Genkai and saved every clan's heirs. You've done more in your brief time as a Genin than most shinobi do in their whole lives…that goes for all of you."

"Are you going to at least stay in Konoha?" Hisako asked with a sad look on her eyes.

"No, I'm afraid I'm going travelling," Daisuke shook his head.

Hisako put on a smile to hide the crushing disappointment. "Well, we'll miss you."

"I'm not going yet," Daisuke said sheepishly.

"So…Daisuke," Nichiren began. "Can I ask a question?"

"Go ahead," Daisuke nodded.

"So, your retirement," Nichiren began. "Are you…well. Are you retiring because of, uh…"

"Because of all of you?" Daisuke finished, his mouth in a flat line.

"Yeah," Nichiren nodded.

Daisuke cupped his chin in thought, as if judging between two outcomes he wanted. "Partially yes."

"Oh," Hisako felt like she had been punched in the gut.

"Let me qualify that statement, first," Daisuke cleared his throat. "My insensitivity has caused everyone here some degree of heartache and pain. I understand that and I remember every instance. And I'm sorry. While I could not help my insensitivity, that does not change the fact that it had consequences. Consequences that I could've avoided had I been wiser when I first allotted my stats. I caused you pain, repeatedly, as a result of this one decision and I am sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, Daisuke," Kakashi said kindly.

"I do. But I am not done," Daisuke took in a breath. "I also want to talk about how every single one of you, at one point or another, failed to account for and understand my handicap and for one of you, actively prevented me from obtaining a temporary solution."

"You told us you were messing with your mind," Kakashi said quietly. "Given your obvious lack of mental health, what were we supposed to do?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure you were able to figure out before now that I was lying in an attempt to preserve some semblance of normalcy," Daisuke replied icily. "R&D should've figured out that I was lying about putting a seal on the amulet."

Kakashi took in a small, almost imperceptible breath. "Then what's the truth?"

"The truth is that my physical and mental capabilities can change depending on what I'm wearing," Daisuke explained.

"That's ridiculous," Nichiren blurted out.

Hisako wanted to hurt him again. Almost as much as she wanted to hit Daisuke for lying to her for so long.

"That's why I lied," Daisuke replied irritably. "I never would've had a chance of putting my temporary solution in place with _that_ as my explanation, no matter the truth. I knew that _before_."

Everyone was quiet.

"Are you really telling the truth this time?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes, I am," Daisuke answered with an iron-clad stare, one that could've pierced through paper like the sharpest Kunai if left fixed in one place for two long. "Look, I'm not human. I might've been one a while ago, but not anymore. I don't know what I am, but I know this; I _cared_. I cared about all of you. I still do. But none of you could see it now matter how hard I tried and when I actually get serious about finding a solution, it gets blocked by people who don't understand me. I _cared_ , okay?"

Everyone sat in silence as Daisuke started to look at his hands, speaking quietly. "I cared."

"So, do we," Hisako replied.

"Daisuke, I know you cared," Kakashi said gently. "We all did. But we also thought that you were somewhat suicidal until the Yamanaka gave you the all clear."

He took a breath and looked up at his Sensei with a faraway look in his eye. "I wasn't actively looking for ways to kill myself."

Hisako tilted her head slightly, as she could tell there was more to this. He took a breath.

"I had built and raised myself for combat," Daisuke said after a moment's silence. "The only place I truly belonged was tearing through an enemy stronghold. Most of my life was spent in a position of safety, where instead of crossing blades and blowing the enemy across the battlefield, I was required to speak with and socialize in an environment where people acted in ways that I had no hope of understanding. I had no place there. Yet there I was. In a way, I might not have cared if I died."

Daisuke went back to looking at his hands, compulsively flexing his fingers.

Hisako rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. _It's over now, Daisuke. It's over. You understand everything now. Now you can start to heal._

* * *

"This is worse than anything I could've imagined," A said, looking out the window of the office provided him by the Kazekage. "A shinobi that casually negates a Jinchūriki attacks and performs _repair work_ on a seal that he'd never seen before?"

Standing by and waiting to be called on, Darui held his hands behind his back with an expressionless face. It would not do to trouble his leader with pointless questions like 'what do we do' and 'how did Konoha sneak this by everyone'.

"Darui," A, span around to face him. "Are our agents in the Land of Fire in place to infiltrate the village?"

"No, Raikage-sama," Darui replied. "We would need to relocate them from the Capital city and after today, Konoha will have doubled their security to catch anyone trying to get in."

A grumbled in annoyance. "Make preparations to move our agents when we return to the village. I want people inside Konoha's walls before the end of June."

"It will be done, Raikage-sama," Darui replied. Infiltrating another Hidden Village was nearly impossible to do, especially one with the Byakugan at it's beck and call but as recent events have shown, the impossible was all but required.

"I also want a brief prepared for B on Shimoda Daisuke," A ordered. "I want everything we have on him, solid, hypotheticals, the works. If Konoha moves against the village, B and I will be the ones that need to destroy Shimoda and we'll need to be ready."

"Yes, Raikage," Darui nodded.

The office was quiet as the Raikage began mulling over his next order.

"We'll also need to begin preparing for war," A finally said. "Prepare offensive and defensive lines. Make sure the borders are secure."

"Yes, Raikage-sama," Darui nodded again. "Are we to make the first move?"

"Not until we have more information," A explained. "And they won't start anything either. The Yellow Flash might've been foolhardy enough to begin hostilities with Iwagakure without proper intelligence but Sarutobi is not. We have time, but I don't know how much."

"For all their talk of peace, it didn't take long for them to start a war with a new leader in charge," Darui mused.

"It's a load of garbage," A replied with a snarl. "It's always been garbage. I think the Yellow Flash understood that more than Sarutobi. He had that going for him, at least."

"Yes, Raikage-sama," Darui nodded. "Have you decided who becomes Chunin?"

A grunted, picking up one of the files

"It's tempting to deny Cell 9 promotion simply because they had to get rescued by a foreign power," A began with a glare. "But their showings during phase three were adequate reparations for that embarrassment. Ayako especially. They've earned a promotion, but just barely."

"I think I know why Shimoda saved them, Raikage-sama," Darui began.

"Explain," A began.

"He buys the garbage about peace," Darui explained. "Hook, line and sinker. Think about it, it's why he'd go out of his way to save a foreign Genin team and why he'd help repair another village's greatest weapon."

"It would explain a lot," A replied with a thoughtful look. "But we cannot afford the consequences if that's incorrect."

"You are right, Raikage-sama," Darui bowed his head. "But if it's right…maybe we can use it?"

"It's possible," A admitted with a nod. "But we'll need to learn more for sure."

* * *

"How's he doing?" Kankuro asked, looking at his sister with a look that was a mix of hopeful and terrified.

"Still sleeping," Temari replied, sounding utterly amazed as she shut the bedroom door. "Like a baby."

"No sand demon, no destruction of the village, no us being splattered to red on the sand," Kakuro almost sounded giddy. "Just him sleeping. That's _amazing_."

"No kidding," Temari said, sharing the same tone of voice. "He actually sleeps now. No more worrying about getting strangled by sand in my sleep…at least, as long as we make sure he goes to sleep first."

"I think I'd like it if he slept the entire week," Kankuro said, his voice coming into its giddiness like a child who received an expensive present. "A whole week without the thought of Gaara wanting to kill me. It's going to be the greatest vacation _ever_."

"Could you keep it down?"

Temari and Kankuro both jumped into the air as their brother's voice sounded. Gaara was looking at them with a glare.

"Gaara! We're so sorry," Kankuro gulped and put on a smile that was more nervous than a bull in a slaughterhouse. "We weren't trying to wake you, we were just, uh…well, you see…"

Gaara blinked unamused. "Just keep it down."

Then he shut the door, the sound of it seeming to echo through the entire house.

Both siblings shunshin'd out of that hall as fast as their legs and their chakra could carry them. They got lucky once with their brother being annoyed, they did not want to try their luck a second time.

* * *

"So, it's a game?" Naruto looked at the sheet in his hands, his eyebrow raised and his eye wide as he examined it with the inquisitive fury he normally reserved for a new ramen recipe.

"That's the explanation I came up with," Shikamaru replied, leaning forward with his fingers steepled. "It's not the type of game that I've ever seen before, likely one meant to be played over multiple sessions like a war game, but yeah. It's a game."

The sheet that Shikamaru had passed around for everyone contained example stats based on things that Daisuke had told them. Strength, Perception, Endurance, it was all there. A bar for 'damage points' as Shikamaru had called them and Chakra levels.

"I don't get it," Sakura said, resting her clasped hands in her lap ontop of her own sheet. "Why would Daisuke's bloodline make him a…game piece?"

"I don't know," Shikamaru shrugged. "But the rules he operates under seemed designed to approximate reality. In the environment of a game, whatever type of game this is, it makes sense. But when thrown into actual reality, it makes no sense whatsoever."

"It makes sense though, right?" Ino asked, tapping her sheet with the back of her finger. "It puts everything Daisuke does into context."

The group had congregated to a small park built inside the village walls. The sun shined high, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and all the kids were out messing around with their leisure time. The rookie nine were all gathered in a corner away from everyone, talking about the weather for all everyone else knew.

"A context," Shikamaru replied.

"It explains the how," Sasuke replied from his seat on a rock, his fingers steepled in front of him. "But not the why. And I'm curious about the why."

"I have the feeling that only Daisuke himself can explain that," Shino offered, walking up to the group from his spot under a tree. "The question is whether he's willing to tell us."

"Yeah, how do we go about asking that?" Kiba grumbled out loud, Akamaru barking in his lap and pawing the sheet. "Hey, Daisuke-kun, we've kind of figured out that your bloodline just turns things into a giant game for you, can you tell us why? Thanks, you're awesome."

"Daisuke doesn't like talking about his abilities," Naruto frowned, folding his arms.

"I was able to put this together because he explained how he obtains skills," Shikamaru replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, okay. He doesn't like talking about _new_ things," Naruto answered sheepishly. "If someone can weasel something out of him, he kind of just assumes it's an open secret and that there's no point in trying to hide it."

"…that's not _untrue_ ," Ino said with a wave of her hand. "Blab it to the wrong person, it reaches the grapevine and suddenly anyone that wants to know about it can."

"He probably can't tell who's who," Hinata said with a frown.

"But the point is, asking him _why_ he is the way he is won't get us anywhere," Naruto explained with a nod. "He might not even know. I mean, he knows a lot, but where his bloodline comes from? That's a bit of a stretch. We don't know where the Byakugan or Sharingan come from."

"We've already been over this," Sakura stated with a frown. "The eyes come from clans with a long lineage. Daisuke's just appeared one day. That's what we're curious about."

"Chouji, you want to tell them what you told me?" Shikamaru asked.

"Sure," Chouji said, placing a potato chip in his mouth, chewing it up and swallowing it before continuing. "A few days ago, I went to the orphanage that Daisuke and Naruto grew up in."

"Oh you did, huh?" Naruto frowned at that.

"There a problem?" Chouji asked with his own frown.

"I'd just like to forget that place exists," Naruto shook his head. "Anyway continue."

"A lot of bad memories?" Sakura asked with a sad look.

"Yeah," Naruto replied, looking at his crossed legs. "Anyway, you were saying, Chouji?"

"So I went there, spent some time with the orphans, brought some snacks," Chouji continued. "Once everyone was busy playing with the wood kunai I brought, I started talking with the Matron. She ended up blurting out a story about how Daisuke wasn't always a statue."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"Really?" Ino leaned forward in interest.

"Yeah, he used to look like a normal guy," Chouji explained. "Well, baby. Then one day, this statue baby shows up out of nowhere and the baby they knew as Daisuke had disappeared. It took them a few hours to figure out that it _was_ Daisuke and that he changed. He got put on a short-list to get into the academy and the rest is history."

"Did you know about this?" Ino asked Naruto.

"No," Naruto shook his head. "When I met him, he was already the way he was. Which is fine."

"Yeah it is," Ino nodded. "It doesn't matter if he stays that way his whole life, he's fine the way he is."

"Wow," Kiba started laughing, the puppy on his lap joining in. "You've got it _bad_."

"I'm just saying," Ino said, folding her arms and glaring at him.

"It's just a little weird is all," Kiba said, flicking something from his eye.

"What's weird?" Ino asked, her frown getting sharper.

"You went from insulting Sakura constantly and fawning over Sasuke because he was 'hot'," Naruto started, holding his hands up and using them to illustrate 'point a' and 'point b'. "To being nice to Sakura and, well, everyone else."

"I wasn't exactly a nice person before," Ino said, bowing her head in shame. "I'm sorry."

"Well, okay, but that includes me," Naruto replied with a frown. " _Me_. You guys might all be willing to talk to me, but I'm still not well liked by the village and you're chasing after a guy who even I have to agree makes a better gargoyle than most."

"That's really mean of you," Ino narrowed her eyes.

"Hey, Daisuke's awesome, no one smart is denying that," Naruto said, raising his hands defensively. "But he's never shied away from what he looks like and you've _never_ seen him without the henge. But that's not the point."

"So, what is the point?" Shikamaru asked.

"I want to know why," Naruto replied. "You don't just change your entire personality over night and I _don't_ feel like being a pawn-"

"He's the only reason I'm alive right now!" Ino thundered, hands clenched into fists. " _Okay?_ "

The group had fallen into silence. The other people in the park, beyond a slight disturbance by her outburst, simply continued doing what they were doing with a shrug, without a care in the world.

"Look, you're right," Ino began, glaring and tears starting to form. "I wasn't a nice person before. At all. But if Daisuke hadn't found us when he did and cleaned the cut on my arm, I would've died from the infection. That's what the doctors said."

Naruto leaned forward, listening intently.

"I looked at myself and I didn't like who I was. Who I've been for the past few years. So, I'm trying to change. And the boy who saved my life?" Ino scoffed. "People don't talk to him unless they want something. Ever. That's _horrible_ and-"

"He deserves better than that," She took a breath. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you Naruto and I'm sorry that I made you think I was just one of those parasites looking for his affections."

Naruto slowly sat up, nodding. "Alright, I believe you. But don't you _dare_ hurt him. Alright?"

Ino simply nodded.

"You guys are really close friends, eh?" Kiba said with a raised eyebrow.

"Someone's got to look out for him," Naruto frowned.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Interlude time. Not much I can say about it beyond I tried a new way of writing the chapter – instead of writing it all over one or two days, I just write 1k words a day. To be honest, I like writing it this way better, less stressful._

 _I actually finished this chapter yesterday, but FFnet was being retarded so I couldn't upload the chapter. So I'm sorry for the delay._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _You guys are awesome, your continued support is deeply appreciated._

 _~Fulcon_


	60. Return to Leaf

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

The travel back to Konoha was obviously tense.

Nichiren, Hisako and Kakashi were placed on my 'honor guard', making sure that I was in a good place that I didn't suddenly snap and turn into a homicidal maniac on everyone. They were there to calm me down if I remembered something that made me want to start blowing people up.

I noticed that Anko wasn't with the group. Given that she felt very, very bad about taking her frustration about her old abuser skulking around on me because I forgot to tell people, it makes sense. I'll have to talk with her later, make sure she knows there's no hard feelings.

There were hard feelings before, but not anymore given that I understood her frustration.

Eventually, the sand faded away into Grass and then into woods. We were back in the Land of Fire. I recalled that it took a little bit more effort to match the pace of the group last time. Not much effort, but some. Now, it was a _lot_ of struggle to not just jet ahead of them and wait at the next checkpoint.

So, I need to come up with a plan to tell Naruto his heritage without also blowing my friendships to Kingdom Come by divulging a pair of S-class secrets and being branded a traitor. The problem is that inviting him to my apartment and whisking him off to the vault would set off alarm bells in the Hyuuga ANBU that were always tailing him.

I could activate the seals that prevent chakra-signatures from being seen outside but I save those seals when I need to make a trip to the vault and I can't reliably be sure that I can get Naruto to cooperate with it. Besides, asking Naruto to come into my apartment, then to my bathroom where there weren't any windows? That could start a lot of different rumors that I don't want circulating.

There'll be an opportunity when I know more about the ANBU's routes and schedules. The problem is getting Naruto in on the secret plan without him going to the Hokage about 'Daisuke's worrying me'. Because he trusts the Hokage a lot and doing anything under the table like that would be a fundamental change to my behavior and personality that the others have seen.

If I don't bring attention to the fact that I'm even capable of that kind of skullduggery, eventually they'll forget that I did so to obtain a summoning contract. Well, not forget so much as me 'being up to something' won't jump to the forefront of everyone's mind if they see me doing something odd.

The safest bet would be to take Naruto out on a short training trip outside the village, but that relies on having the Hokage's trust, something I simply do not possess at this moment thanks to irrational behavior; sparked by teenage short-sightedness, mental exhaustion and emotional trauma that had been building up for years. It hasn't all gone away, either. I can't promise that my reaction wouldn't be violent or at least somewhat confrontational if I'm called a child, I'm afraid. How many people have I killed or at least tried to kill because they pressed that particular button? Three?

Let's not go down that road right now. We're home.

The gates of Konoha, like everything else that I've seen so far, was far more sharp and clear, like I shifted from 480p to 1080p. The sign, the booth to the side where arrivals were checked in, the walls, everything. So familiar and so new at the same time.

Ahead was an entourage of family and friends, as well as ANBU agents, both in front of the welcome back party as well as surrounding us on the roof tops.

The idea that I'd be taken to T&I for insubordination had occurred to me. If that were to happen, I'd just leave right now and try to make contact with Naruto, Sensei and a few others. But I don't think that's what the intent here is. But I'd be delusional if I didn't believe there weren't others that would want to do exactly that, especially within our own walls.

I need the _Whitewash_ perk. I'll grab that today. Make it so that any and all types of seals, if they aren't simply neutered by the Chakra-Defense network, will be a non-factor as they are swiftly (or not-so-swiftly) erased.

Though I could just FTG out – I know for a fact that Konoha doesn't know how to mess with it or stop it, they just don't have the knowledge base. I mean, I do, but that's because of the game and I'm pretty sure neither the Second or the Fourth were crazy enough to leave notes about how to beat their favorite techniques for the village in case those notes got stolen.

…I just noticed that Naruto wasn't here. Where is he?

"Hokage-sama?" I walked up to him with a frown on my face. "I don't see Naruto here. Do you know where he is?"

"Oh, I believe he's at class," Sarutobi explained, gesturing to the academy in the distance. "He should get out at the end of the day and you'll be able to see him."

"Right," I nodded. It's not that I forgot the Academy was still going on, it's just that I thought Naruto would be let out of class. My mistake. "Thank you, I'll see him when he gets out I guess. Do you need me for anything?"

"No," The Hokage shook his head. "Report to my office tomorrow for your partner to be assigned."

"Understood, Hokage-sama," I replied with a formal bow.

"Dismissed."

With that, I shunshin'd away. Normally, I'd FTG back to my apartment but I want to see the village. You know, in hi-def and need to formulate plans.

First order of business, clear things up with Anko. Second, tell both Hisako and Ino that I've got no interest in dating until I'm sixteen and make it clear that their attentions are flattering, I'm just not ready for them. Possibly apologize for letting them fight the way they did, even though my enjoying their bickering was subconscious at most. Third order of business, clear things up with Kakashi, thank him for his mentoring.

Now if I know Anko, and I do, she'll be at her favorite restaurant after she's spent some time decompressing at home. She'll be decompressing for roughly an hour, and the Academy is going to get out in roughly three hours, so I've got some time to kill.

* * *

"Daisuke-kun," Anko blinked, looking at me as I approached, dango-sticks in hand. She was sitting at one of the tables outside the restaurant, the umbrella mounted in the center doing a great job of keeping the sun off of us. She had already finished her meal and dessert and looked as if she were ready to leave; I was lucky to catch her now. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I came looking for you," I replied with a smile, offering her one of the sticks of dango. "I figured it'd be good for us to talk now since we haven't exchanged two words since the incident."

"Like what about," She started, letting a little apprehension creep into her voice. Apprehension born of guilt, embarrassment and a little bit of fear. I don't like that last one.

…I remembered catching sight of her as we left the site of the battle, on her knees and holding the head of her former sensei that I had casually discarded like refuse, passing it on to the Hokage like a gift a beleaguered parent gives to an endlessly whining child because they won't stop asking for it.

"Well, I wanted to apologize for failing to tell anyone, you specifically, that Orochimaru was running around," I explained, both sincere in my apology and because I wanted to extend the first olive branch if I wanted things to move along smoothly. "I understand that you had history with him and so me not telling you might've felt like a betrayal. So, I'm sorry and I hope we can still be friends."

Anko blinked once. Then again. "No, Daisuke-kun. If anyone owes an apology, it's me."

Well, technically we _both_ owed apologies. I just wanted to take the first step and if she didn't reciprocate, I'd be sad, but I didn't _need_ for her to be my friend. But she did, so we can still be friends and I can keep my self-respect.

"I made the problem overly personal because of the history I had with him," Anko continued. "I got really mad and I couldn't think clearly because of it and I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," I replied with a smile. "But really, I shouldn't have forgotten to report Orochimaru's presence."

If I wanted to be technical, it might've been a bad idea to tell the Hokage about it while the Kazekage was around anyway. But I wasn't thinking about that at the time so offering it as a defense would be disingenuous. I was simply really focused on the Hokage's order to 'go get some rest' so I could actually decompress and might've remembered to tell him at some point during that day if they didn't come to me first.

"Maybe," Anko shrugged. "But you went out of your way to fix your mistake in the most thorough way possible. I should've given you this apology when I was holding his head in my hands."

"Hey, hey. It's okay, everything's fine," I said, still smiling. "Dango?"

"Well…" A smile slowly grew on her face before she snatched the stick. "Okay."

"Awesome," I said.

We both sat there in silence, eating our dango. She finished before I did, surprisingly. Usually, I was an inhumanly fast eater, barely even stopping to taste my food. But now, I don't know. I felt more…relaxed than I usually did. Felt nice. Felt like I could actually stop and take a breath, enjoy my food, all that good stuff.

"So if you don't mind me asking," Anko started carefully.

"Ask away."

"What brought on your resignation?" Anko asked with a pointed curiosity.

A fair question. "When I finally fixed everything, screwed my head on straight, I looked over my life and the person who I had been…I didn't like it. At all. I was almost a psychopath in some areas of my life. Looking at it now, after the fact? I think being a Shinobi was the worst thing in the world for learning patience and self-control, two things I desperately need."

"How so?" Anko asked. "Hey, you want something to drink while we talk? Tea?"

"I'd rather have some Akimichi Elixir, to be honest," I answered. I didn't like tea, it just didn't taste good for me. Didn't like coffee either for the same reason. Elixir, also known as the Akimichi variant of soda, was good. Obviously.

She nodded. "Alright. Hey! Waiter!"

Anko raised a hand and flagged down a waiter since this is an actual sit-down restaurant and got us drinks. Well, she got a refill for herself and a Lemon-Lime Elixir for me. I wonder what the Akimichi would be able to do with the Pineapple's that I've got growing in the Vault's green-house.

That's another thing to put down on my to-do list; introduce the Akimichi to pineapple.

You know what? According to Chouji, the Akimichi don't have any restaurant's outside of Konoha. I wonder what it would take to get them to expand to the outlying towns?

"So, you were saying?" Anko asked.

"Well, being a Shinobi's been terrible for my self-control," I began. "First, I went into the Academy, right? Except for the first mission my bloodline gave me for my first day, I didn't get any missions. My only source of progress was skill-checks."

"Skill checks?" Anko asked with a raised eyebrow.

"So, if I don't have a high enough number in my skills, I can't do certain things," I explained. "There's no trying harder, no coming at it from a new angle, nothing. If I can't do it, I can't do it. Passing these 'checks' used to give me progress. Until Level 5, which I got a few months into my first year at the academy."

"Why did it stop?" Anko asked.

"I don't know," I replied. In the original game where the SPECIAL system came from, skill checks _always_ gave you EXP. No ifs ands or buts. But it's changed now and I don't know what it means. "I don't think it was supposed to stop. But it did. So, I was left with a disability for four years longer than I thought I would be and I nearly went insane."

"I believe it," Anko said with a nod.

"Then I became a Shinobi. Things were good for a bit, but I ended up getting into trouble and being taken off of missions," I shook my head. "That happening…did not do good things to my psyche. I nearly went insane with anger toward my Sensei and the Hokage."

"Because to you, getting to where you're at now was more important their worry for your safety," Anko said, taking a sip of her tea as the waiter brought it out. I grabbed my elixir. "Did you even realize that's why they took you off missions?"

"Their concern was just getting in the way," I replied with a shrug. "I mean, now I get it and I appreciate it, but before when all I saw was an unneeded roadblock to where I needed to go? Yeah, I wished that they didn't care half as much. I was in such a twisted place, that I saw that the Penguin's not really caring if I lived or died as a good thing."

Anko blinked, putting on her best poker face as she took another sip of tea. "That kind of…disregard for your own life isn't as uncommon as you think."

"Oh?" I said with a raised eyebrow.

"Ninja usually get messed up somehow over their careers," Anko replied. "I mean, we're trained to give our lives for the village. The problem is that, from what I heard, you didn't care if you died when you didn't need too."

I was quiet, wondering if I should say what came to mind. Well, I did tell Kakashi and my team already, and Anko _is_ a friend of mine, so. "That's not untrue."

"Things are better now, though, right?" Anko pressed with a frown.

"I still want to retire," I replied with a shrug. "But yeah. The point is that I need get patient and set my priorities straight before I try being a Shinobi again. I don't want to put anyone in danger because I got greedy for power."

That's part of it. If I ever do come back to Konoha to join the Shinobi corps, I want Tsunade in charge. I am _not_ working under Sarutobi anymore. Actually, what are the odds of Tsunade being in charge now that Orochimaru's not around to kill the Old Man?

…crap.

Also, I need to figure out a way to get Naruto to be as tough and developed after Wave Arc…is that still going to happen? Actually, crap. Now that there's no Orochimaru, Mizuki's might not betray Konoha, which means that telling him that he's a Jinchūriki really does fall to me. To be honest, that almost feels like a sacred responsibility.

Best not screw it up.

"Honestly, that's a good thing," Anko nodded. "I'm honestly proud of you for realizing that…but I'm honestly surprised he's going to let you retire."

The corners of my mouth twitched into a smile. "I mean, 'leave the village as long as I want' was already a part of the Special Jounin deal and he wanted to do a trial run, so perhaps I'll leave for a while, come back, do a mission or two, leave again, you know. Besides, I gave Konoha the best showing it's had at the exams in years _and_ I removed the village's most infamous traitor from the world. He does anything to me and the village will riot."

"That's true," Anko agreed with a thoughtful look. "But seriously, I'd be careful. Try not to step on anyone's toes. Let things calm down."

"I agree," I said with a nod. "Actually, that's another reason to take a break, get leave from the village, give everyone some time to settle down."

"I don't think you should leave," Anko argued, taking a sip of her tea. "Part of the problem is that some see you as a dangerous, loose cannon. If you stick around, give them time to see that that isn't true, and then things will calm down. For everyone."

"That makes sense," I replied. Hence the trial run. "So, do you know who my partner is supposed to be?"

"Yup!" She said cheerfully. "It's going to be me."

"Nice," I answered with a smile. "Going on missions with you should actually be stress free."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Anko said, narrowing her eyes with a grin growing on her face. "I'm going to be watching your every move, silently judging you and making sure you're performing up to the high standards of Special Jounin."

"If I thought you could pull off silently, Anko-san, I'd be somewhat intimidated," I replied with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Haha, very funny."

"Still, I'm excited to be working with you," I said with a smile, meaning it. Hopefully, going on vacation for a year or two won't end this arrangement, I like this too much.

"Thanks," Anko said with a smile of her own. "I've gotten pretty of fond of you, Daisuke-kun."

Not in the 'let's make out' sense, but in the 'I'm a younger sibling' sense. That's fair, I'm only going on thirteen. Little disappointing, but fair.

* * *

So, I'm going to need furniture. I've already got plans, too. Use Solid Release to put together the frames of my couches, wood release to give it that 'home made' feel and the only thing that I'm curious about is if I want to use some kind of poison fruit for the cushions as some kind of security measure. Have it explode or vent its toxicity into the air, knock out the intruders, then I can turn them over to Law Enforcement.

Or I could make normal cushions and have the toxic security system be something else entirely. The idea of someone breaking into my apartment is unlikely given the systems already in place, but it's fun to think about.

There's a knock at my door.

I look through the peep hole and see Naruto…and Sasuke, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji standing behind him.

"Any one else kind of nervous?" That was Ino.

"A little, yeah," Naruto replied. "But come on, it's Daisuke. He can't be that different."

Let's see, undo the latch lock, unhook the chain, listen as they fall silent at the sound of my unlocking the door, turn the handle. I took a deep breath, because I was going to be seeing everyone a bit earlier than I had planned.

I opened the door. They all turned to look at me and I saw that they were all carrying these sheets of paper on their hands.

First there was silence.

"Hi," I said with a small wave.

Then Ino screamed and jumped on me in a tackle-hug. I returned that after catching my balance and standing there in surprise. "Oh, wow! Daisuke, you look amazing!"

"Thanks, Ino," I said with a small smile of my own. "It's good to see you. All of you. How've things been?"

"Been great!" Naruto said with a massive grin. "We've missed you though."

"I missed you guys too," I said, taking a step back and gesturing inside. "Come in, please. I'll have furniture ready in a second."

They all came in, and after several hand signs, Solid Release created the couch frames. Then Wood release added the upholstery and then another application of wood release to create the soft, fruit-cushions. Non-toxic, I'll probably replace them later if I decide to go down that route. "Alright, have a seat. Make yourselves at home. Can I get you guys anything?"

"You got ramen?" Naruto asked with a grin, as he sat down on the newly formed couch.

Everyone else was looking and prodding at the furniture with interest

"Naruto," Sakura reproved with a chastising glare.

"Always," I replied with a nod, grabbing a cup of instant ramen from the cupboard. "Anyone else want anything? I've got water, elixir, more cups of instant ramen…"

"I'd like some elixir," Chouji said, raising his hand before returning it to his chip bag.

"Same," Shikamaru replied from his spot lounging on my couch. Glad it's comfortable.

"Do you have any tea?" Ino asked from her seat.

"No, I don't," I shrugged with a slight frown. "Sorry."

"That's fine, I'd like some water then," She waved it off with a smile.

Okay, instant ramen for Naruto, elixir for Chouji and Shikamaru, water for Ino. Whose left?

"Sasuke? Sakura? Either of you want anything?" I asked, pulling out cups and grabbing the elixir and pitcher of water from the fridge.

I didn't get a response until I had filled two of the glasses.

"I'd like some water," Sasuke requested diplomatically.

"I guess I'd like some too," Sakura also requested.

"Done," I said, grabbing two more glasses and filling them. I passed the drinks around and almost sat down. Almost, then something occurred to me. "Wait, I just remembered something, I'll be right back."

I walked off to my bedroom and there, sitting in it's pot was the pineapple plant. It was basically ripe, with seals on the pot I had it planted in keeping the thing nourished to perfection. I picked it and rushed back off to my kitchen, grabbed a knife.

"What'cha got there, Daisuke?" Naruto asked curiously from the living room.

"Well, when I first figured out wood release, I got to experimenting," I began, making a consideration of how the fact that I 'figured out' the First Hokage's bloodline still made each of their heads spin. "And I made a fruit. I wanted to get your opinion on it."

I was going to introduce the Akimichi to pineapple. Makes me happy. But first, how did it turn out?

"Oh really?" Chouji asked. "Interesting."

Chop off the top, gut the core out of it, skin it, cut it into small pieces, place those pieces in a bowl, taste one piece, delicious and perfectly captured and bring it out. Wait, what do I call it? Pineapple's an English name and we all speak Japanese or some other Oriental language. Perhaps a portmanteau?

"Here you go, I call it…" I began, taking a second. Let's go for the closest translation I can find – "Painappuru."

"Alright then," Chouji placed the bag of chips to his side and grabbed a piece with his fingers, before plopping it into his mouth.

…there is no way he has a pineapple allergy. If he does, I'm got stimpacks.

He spent a long time, chewing it, mulling it over in his mouth, letting the juices fill every corner of his mouth and into the cracks of his teeth. Eventually, he swallowed. "Interesting. It's very sweet, but with an underlying toughness. Stringy texture, which is why you served it in chunks."

"You like it?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, taking my seat in the chair I just made.

"I do, actually. It's good," He started to nod vigorously. "Can I take some to share with my parents?"

"Definitely," I replied with a smile of my own. "I can give you a storage scroll and a spare bowl and you can let me know if they like it. You think you can make a new flavor of elixir with this?"

Chouji scoffed and waved it off. "Elixir's easy. No, we're looking at new marinades, toppings, maybe even a new flavor of ramen if we can get the sweetness to work with the salt of the broth."

"Good point," I said with a nod. And getting it to work with salt should be easy, pineapple's only true home is on a pizza, which is salty and crunchy and delicious. Anyone that disagrees with this fact is a heretic that should be purged. Speaking of pizza, I need to start making it so I can share.

"Now does this fruit have a seed or did you just grow it with jutsu?" Chouji asked, examining another chunk with a critical eye.

"Well, it does, but growing one from a seed can take a long, long time," I started to explain. "It's got lots of different ways to reproduce, actually. I can put together a file for your parents to go over if they like it and I can answer any questions later."

"I think they'll like it," Chouji said with a grin. "It's good fruit."

"I hope so," I replied with a grin of my own. "Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

"Shikamaru thinks he's got your bloodline figured out," Naruto piped up before plunging a stick-full of noodles into his mouth.

I blinked. "Eh?"

"Well, we've all been really curious as to how your bloodline works," Ino said with a nervous smile, leaning forward and placing her glass on the table. "So, I asked Shikamaru to try to piece it together. Is that okay? I know I should've asked you first, but I-"

"It's fine. Don't worry about it," I cut her off, leaning back. "Okay. Is that what's on those slips of paper?"

"Yes," Shikamaru said, leaning forward and making a finger-tent right beneath his nose. "Would you like a look at one?"

I was quiet for a second. Part of me was worried that they found something that I didn't want them to find, like the fact that I'm a reincarnate. Another part was intrigued, wanting to see the famous genius of Shikamaru in action. "Sure."

Ino handed me her copy and…and…

 _What in the world_?

On the right was a cup, partially full with numbers on the sides. On the bottom was the number zero, the top one-hundred and to the left was the number sixty-five. Above the cup was the label 'health'. Next to it was a similar bar, labeled chakra. Going further left was a list of my skills. All thirteen of them, sitting at various levels from 1 to 100. On the right was a stick figure, with bars attached to each limb to tell the player if that limb was crippled. On this sheet, the chest was crippled.

I unconsciously found myself cupping my chin as I stared at this sheet, something so close to capturing my entire life, yet so utterly far off. SPECIAL was listed at the top and I noted that Charisma was at 1, while intelligence was at 10. Given some of my decisions in the fast, I wonder if intelligence really is all that effective?

They were quiet as I took it in.

"Daisuke?" Ino hazarded. "Are you okay?"

I was quiet for a bit longer. "Yeah, I'm fine. A little in shock, I guess. This…I wasn't expecting you guys to get this close, that's all."

"Shikamaru's really smart," Sakura said somewhat nervously.

"Would you describe this as some sort of game?" Shikamaru asked.

I laid the sheet on my lap. "Yes. Yes I certainly would. But not one that I've wanted to play for a very long time."

Everyone was quiet.

"We still like you, Daisuke," Naruto finally said. "Seriously. You're my best friend, that hasn't change. It'll never change, alright?"

"Thanks, Naruto," I said with a smile. "So…I guess since you've all figured this out, I should probably share some stuff with you."

"You don't have too," Ino protested. "Really, we just wanted to understand you a bit better, that's all."

I brought my hands together and created a sheet of paper and a pencil. "You're right, I don't have too. But I want too, so gather round."

Everyone knelt around the table.

I started with my health-bar, omni-present in the lower left corner of my sight. "Here's my health, represented by a bar. I always know exactly how much health I have at any given time. It doesn't matter what grievous and horrendous injuries I receive – if this bar is even slightly full, I will survive."

Shikamaru nodded and hummed like I had clarified something that had been bothering or at least confusing him for a long time.

"Over here is my bar of chakra," I said, drawing the bar. "It is constantly filling itself up. It usually takes ten seconds to get from empty to full. That said, most jutsu's that are actually relevant for me take about half my bar, usually. Spamming jutsu relies on me carefully timing it's release so that I always have enough chakra to cast it or it'll fizzle out and waste time."

"I see," Sasuke said, analyzing my drawings with the Sharingan. "I had always assumed you had infinite chakra."

"On paper I kind of do," I agreed, nodding with him before finishing my drawing. "But it wasn't until recently that I _functionally_ had infinite chakra, but that relies on enemy ninja casting jutsu on me and I absorb the chakra. In fact, by my estimation my reserves are actually smaller than another shinobi of equal power by a factor of 10. I just get it back almost instantly by comparison."

"So, it's not infinite, it just regenerates quickly," Sakura summed up. "That extra layer of difficulty is why you didn't really use jutsu much in combat?"

"That's right. I thought it was kind of a pain to use a jutsu, or use a series of jutsu, then have to wait while my chakra regenerates or I couldn't do anything. Going melee, I didn't have that problem," I drew a notification box, directly on the left side of the screen. To be honest, that's the first time I've ever actually been able to put my trouble with jutsu into words. "Over here is where I get notifications. New missions, failed charisma checks, successful ninjutsu checks, they're all here, plain as day. If I get multiple checks, the oldest of three fades away and the new check slides in on top of all the others."

"That must've been terrible," Ino said, shaking her head and looking at me with sad eyes. "Every time you failed it would tell you?"

"It was pretty bad," I agreed with a frown of my own. "I had a few ways of minimizing it, but I didn't start using them until I after I had already graduated the academy. Which reminds me; Naruto, you ready to see what's in my notebook?"

"Wait, you're going to let us see it?" Naruto asked with wide eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah," I said with a nod, withdrawing the notebook out of my back pocket and switching the language from 'English' to 'Elemental Nations'. Oh, yeah. I guess we do speak a dialect of Japanese instead of Japanese proper. First time I thought about it. "I didn't draw anything in this notebook, by the way. I got it as a present from the Hokage and it had everything already written in it. Don't know where it came from or why it's the way it is, but here we go."

I opened the first page, coming to the Vault Boy, strutting around with full health and a Vault-Tech hitai-ate and a huge, cheesy smile on his face. "That's a more thorough break-down of my physical state. If my limbs get crippled, this picture changes to reflect that."

"What's that hitai-ate he's got on?" Sakura asked, pointing to it. "I don't recognize the village."

"There hasn't been any village that I've seen with that symbol," I replied with a shrug. "So, I don't really think it's relevant."

They all caught the implication that I _did_ know what that symbol is, but it really isn't relevant and I don't feel like explaining Fallout to them just yet. Perhaps later. "Next page over here shows my stats, all at perfect tens on the left here, and on the right, here's my skills."

"This feels kind weird," Shikamaru said with a frown. "This whole book is backwards."

Right, because they go from right to left instead of left to right. "That's because it is. It came to me that way, and while I can change it, I prefer it this way."

He shrugged. "Alright then. So, those are your skills."

"Yeah. I'm still only a little bit through level 30, as you can see from the EXP bar here," I said, pointing at the bar at the top of that page. Then I turned the page. "Here's everything I've got on me right now. It keeps track of my armor, items I have in my storage seals, everything."

"Wow," Naruto said, tilting his head to get a better look at it. "Wait, what's that dot you've got next to your armor?"

"Oh, that's to signify that I'm wearing it," I said. "Here, want to see a trick?"

I poked my armored jacket in the inventor screen, de-equipping it and causing it to disappear. Everyone jumped.

"Woah, hold on!" Naruto yelped, before closing in and starting to poke me where my jacket was supposed to be. "Where'd it go?"

"It's in one of my storage scrolls," I replied, shrugged and putting it on again, making them all jump again. "Want me to do it again? I'd probably be great at parties if I enjoyed going to them."

"Wait, what's that it says on the right, there?" Shikamaru said, pointing to the 'Endurance' bonus that it gave.

"So things that I wear can give a bonus to one of my stats," I explained. "This one gives a bonus to Endurance."

"Wait, does that include Charisma?" Ino asked with narrowed eyes.

"I wore a dress kimono to a dinner with Nichiren parents once," I explained with a nod. "Raised it to about seven…and it freaked everyone out so bad that I was ordered to never boost my charisma again."

"Wait, what?" Naruto shook his head. "Are you serious?"

"Well, I fed them a line about it being a 'super henge' and they thought I was forcibly rewiring my brain to be better in an artificial way," I explained with a flat look. "Given my…lack of caution, they were afraid I would ignore any long-term harm it would cause because I was getting a short-term benefit. Makes sense, given that I don't believe they would've accepted 'I wore a kimono that made me a knockout for a night'. That makes sense?"

"I…okay, sure," Naruto shook his head. "Yeah, it makes sense but…I almost don't believe it."

"I don't blame you," I replied with a shake of my head. "It doesn't make any sense. Like this notebook, for instance. I never once changed or wrote anything in this book, yet it's been able to do all of this since I got it. Way before I started writing seals to victory."

"And you got this notebook from the Hokage?" Shikamaru said, glaring at it as if he could force it to give up it's secrets.

"That's right," I affirmed. "I don't think he knows what he gave me, either."

* * *

 _Author's Note: I'm really sorry this took so long. I was working on a chapter for For The Empire and decided that I would be better served putting that story on Hiatus for the time being and then I took another week off and now…I've got an almost 6k word chapter for you, so it's all good. I think. I hope you enjoyed it in any case._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _Thank you all for your continued support._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	61. Departures

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"Daisuke, can I ask you a question?" Anko asked with a frown.

"Shoot," I replied, cracking my knuckles and noting the light metallic tinny sound that underscored the action.

We were standing in the remains of a bandit camp. The bandits, a gang of twelve that had been preying on travelers and caravans going from Natsuki and Asuka, were being taught jutsu from a homeless Nin that had gone ahead and installed himself as a leader.

It was fairly simple to find their camp since I could see chakra, just fly up and look for what looked like a flare or a beacon. After that, create a team of invisible clones and there was nothing any of them could do. They didn't stand a chance.

Each member of the gang was taken alive, their hands and feet bound by a seal and but otherwise unharmed. Except for their leader, who was unconscious with blood leaking from his mouth at my feet.

"Why do you hate being called a kid?" Anko asked.

That was the mistake of this nin; insulted my age. The only thing that prevented him from being splattered across his gang was the fact that I held back my explosive power at the last second. Because I remembered that I didn't want to kill anyone anymore.

"I have a reason for it," I replied, rolling my shoulders.

"And?" Anko tilted her head curiously.

"I don't want to talk about it," I finished, rubbing my eyes. "Sorry."

She blinked, her eyes narrowing slightly as she judged me and tried to pry out my motives. After several seconds, she sighed. "Alright."

Not much else to say here. I'm not going to just come out and tell people I got reborn in another world. If I ever do, if I ever have this overwhelming urge to tell anyone, at all, Naruto will be the first person I tell, followed by Kakashi because I feel like Sensei is owed an explanation for how much he tried to help.

Then he could help me figure out how to tell Hisako and Nichiren then likely the rest of the Rookie nine. Well, Sasuke and Sakura, followed by Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji, probably. Shikamaru should definitely get an explanation at some point just because intelligence like his should be rewarded.

Anyway, we need to get these gangsters back to Natsuki's, the mayor of whom posted the mission. I understand that they could only afford enough to pay for a Genin team, but the Hokage had decided to eat the loss when it became known that these prisoners were being taught jutsu. This homeless Nin had a one-way ticket to T&I.

"Anyway, let's get these guys back and get paid," I said, knocking out the bandits with seals while my clones slung each of them over their shoulders. "I'm starting my vacation when we get back."

He could be a Nin from Stone or Cloud, who was sent here to sew discord in our borders by teaching criminals how to blow people up with fireballs and wind up destabilizing Konoha's powerbase. That's why when Konoha became an established power, it became illegal to share jutsu without the direct consent from the Hokage.

I seriously doubt laws like that would stop a member of the elite from hiring a private instructor if they have the talent for it, but at this point I'm not sure what to do about it. Not the hiring of instructors, but in the laws making it impossible for common people to learn Jutsu. I want everyone to learn jutsu, that's something I figured out when I cross-examined my 'sharing jutsu' habit from before Level 30.

"Right behind you," Anko replied and we all took off. "Are you really going to be gone for three months?"

There's a piece of the picture that I'm still missing, though. I know that for sure. Some principle of society or snippet of history that I haven't quite grasped yet, even with my stats. It's likely a skill check and if I had to guess, it's Barter. I'll check later, I don't want to show Anko my notebook yet.

"Three whole months," I nodded. "I need to get away, clear my head. Especially since running off to power level did the exact opposite of that."

There's also the quest _1001 Tales_ , which I got while I was in Suna, which requires that I infiltrate the village and locate data on a coup they want to launch against the Sand Daimyo for handing over business to Konoha. There's also documentation about the Great Shinobi wars, which will be very interesting to read.

So long as I'm smart and I use these invisible clones, I'll hit all objectives and I'll be able to learn everything I need.

Plus, the extra time will let me plan out how to tell Naruto everything he needs to know.

"Still, it's only our third mission together," Anko replied. "I almost thought you had changed your mind."

"No, I just took your advice about making sure everyone was okay and not terrified I was going to explode and take all of Konoha with me," I answered with a frown. "The fact that I've been able to get a non-lethal solution with each of them doesn't hurt."

She hummed. "I see. You know, of all the Shinobi that I've seen go through breaking points, you're the first one that has wanted to just stop being…violent altogether. Though I guess with your power, I guess it's easy isn't it?"

"That it is," I replied. Huh, she's got a point. With overwhelming power, being non-lethal isn't some grand, magnanimous gesture; it's just being polite. There's no danger, after all. "That it is."

Though I think there's a difference between sparing a random bandit that made a poor choice of targets and trying to change the entire world. I think if I tried to actually teach everyone jutsu, give chakra to everyone, I'd send the all the powers of the world up in arms.

Against me.

…that might actually be a challenge.

* * *

"What do you mean, the Hokage's gone?" I asked his secretary with a glare.

"Hokage-sama has departed on a personal mission of grave importance," The Secretary replied neutrally, adjusting her glasses slightly, causing the light to hide her eyes for just a second. I think she used that half-of-a-second to roll her eyes. "But if you leave a message with me, I will be sure that he gets it."

"Has he made you aware of the agreement that he and I have?" I asked, softening my expression. It's not her I'm mad at, after all. When someone comes up to you and gets mad at you for delivering a message, it's really annoying. It's not your fault the contents of that message aren't what the person wants to here.

"I have seen the agreement, in paper," The Secretary replied coolly. "What about it?"

"I'm taking leave from the village," I replied with a frown. "I'll be gone for three months."

It took everything she had not to recoil in shock and disgust. Given that she was likely ANBU, she'd see any form of extended time away from the village not on a mission as desertion. Or extremely dangerous. "I see. Your extended leave of absence will be documented. I hope you make good use of it."

I don't think she knows anything about any plans to forcibly keep me here. Doesn't mean they don't exist, but I need to leave. It's on the record, if they're going to do anything, now would be the time.

Before I leave, I've got two orders of business to take care of. The first is to say goodbye to Naruto. The second is to explain to Hisako and Ino that I'm not dating until I'm 16 or 18 and that they need to move on. Because it's not fair to make them wait that long. I'll need to explain it to both of them at once so they don't think 'oh he's just trying to spare my feelings while he dates that other girl'.

"Thank you, I will," I said with a nod. I turned around and walked down the stairs, activating my invisibility jutsu when I passed out of sight of the secretary. Then I created five Shine-Clones. They'll be taking care of random bits of business, buying food, books, etc. and generally looking busy and like they're preparing to leave. If they jump on one of them, my suspicions will have been right.

I remained invisible while my clones, after reaching their position, de-cloaked. Far enough away from each other that no one will realize they were just clones. My position was right inside the academy gates. I've got one clone picking up books from a series of different book stores, another getting ingredients for meals that I enjoy, one delivering a message to Hisako to meet me two hours after the Academy lets out – that one's under specific instructions to let her know that Ino will be present at the meeting.

The Academy bell rung and I decloaked.

Students rushed out of the doors, meeting parents who came to greet them at the end of the day. The rush reminded me of my days in the academy, the days when I was always the first one out because I hated being in the center of the crowd. I'd hop the fence to get around the parents waiting on their children. Didn't like the looks they gave me. Still don't really want to talk to them, but I will if I have too.

One of the first people out of the gates was Naruto, of course. I got the feeling that in spite of the fact that he was doing significantly better in his classes, he still hated it there. Heck, I was nearly perfect at everything except throwing Kunai and _I_ hated it there.

"Daisuke!" Naruto shouted.

"Hey, Naruto!" I shouted back. "Good to see you!"

"You too," Naruto grinned.

"So, you want to head out for ramen?" I asked, pointing with my thumb behind me.

"Sure!" He replied with a huge smile and we headed out.

You know, that reminds me, I haven't popped my head into Ichiraku ramen to say hello yet so Ayame and Teuchi don't know I've fixed my problem yet. Huh. This'll be interesting.

We entered the restaurant, ducking underneath the flaps. Ayami was working the counter, wiping it down with a clean rag. "Hey, Naruto! Who's your friend?"

"It's me Daisuke," I replied with a smirk.

Ayame froze, turning to look at me. She squinted severely, leaning forward, her lips turned into a small frown.

"It really is him, Ayame," Naruto replied with a grin, taking a seat.

"I fixed my issue," I replied with a smile of my own.

"Well I'll be," Ayame said with a blink, slowly sitting up straight. "To be honest, I thought you were talking something gradual. I didn't think it was something you could just _fix_."

"I don't do gradual," I replied with a shrug. "I kind of wish I did, but I don't."

"Apparently," Ayame replied. "So, what will you have?"

"The usual for me and whatever Naruto wants," I replied, jerking my finger at Naruto. "I'm paying."

"No, you're not," Ayame blinked owlishly. "Naruto still hasn't used up the credit you gave him."

"He _hasn't_?" I asked blinking imperiously.

"Wait, that's why they haven't been bothering me to pay?" Naruto replied. "How much did you pay for?"

"Two hundred bowls," I explained. "I figured you'd go through at in a month."

"He keeps getting people to treat him," Ayame explained. "Especially the clan heads he's suddenly become friends with. They keep turning down their change, so we've just been adding it to his tab."

"That's…hilarious, actually," I replied, my smile getting wider. "They probably want to support you to build up some good will with Naruto and I."

"I'll take the money," Ayame shrugged. "So, Naruto, you want Miso-pork?"

"Yup!" Naruto confirmed.

"So, Naruto. I wanted to come tell you that since I've come back, I've been needing to," I paused to find the right words, draw attention to the fact that I was saying something very important and make him pause to listen. "Clear my head. Fixing my problem, as much as I was hoping it would help me make sense of everything…didn't. I need to take some time away from everything. So, I'm leaving for a bit."

"You're not going to get in trouble for leaving, are you?" Naruto asked with a frown. "You're not going to become a missing nin?"

"No," I shook my head. "My departure has been authorized by the Hokage."

"Oh, okay," Naruto replied. "So, how long are you going to be gone?"

Ayame brought our bowls out and Naruto immediately started chowing down.

"Three months," I answered.

He started choking on a mouthful of noodles. I immediately pulled a bottle of water out of my inventory and thrust it at him. "Here, drink."

He did so. "Thanks."

"Sorry," I replied sheepishly. "Should've waited to answer that after you swallowed."

"It's fine," Naruto waved it off. Then he glared. "Three months?"

I've got perfect stats but I still make mistakes. I don't like that at all. I mean, obviously I'd still make mistakes since I'm still one person making decisions but…perfect stats, man! They should count for something! "Yes. I need time away."

Naruto frowned, looked into my eyes carefully. "You're coming back, right?"

"Yes," I replied with a nod. "I just have to take care of some things."

"…you need to clear your head," Naruto replied, leaning back. "I get that. Your whole world got turned upside down and you need to take some actual time to figure things out. But tell me the truth…are you going to be doing any of your 'missions' while you're out there?"

I wonder if that is something he figured out himself, or if Shikamaru had another break-through while I was with Anko on business. "I do have a mission, yes. But it's mostly for the head-clearing."

Naruto scooped a stickful of noodles into his mouth. He chewed it up, swallowed and continued. "I believe you. Just don't do anything stupid while you're out there, okay?"

"I'll do my best."

* * *

"Hisako. Ino. Thank you both for coming," I said, giving both a polite bow. It was a little much, but they both deserve respect.

"No problem," Ino said with a smile and a nod.

"I'm always here for you, Daisuke," Hisako replied. "So what's this about?"

"I needed to speak to you about some things," I cleared my throat. "The first thing is that I'm going on leave for three months and I leave today."

"Aw!" Ino looked disappointed.

"Three months?" Hisako's eyes narrowed. "That's a long time."

Her parents are ANBU, I'm not surprised by her less than thrilled response. "It's been cleared by the Hokage, so I'm fine."

Hisako let out a sigh. "Alright. We'll miss you."

"Why are you leaving for so long?" Ino asked with a deep frown.

I took a breath. "Well, once I…fixed my problem, became socially aware, my world turned upside down. More accurately, it was blown asunder. I need to take time. Time to clear my head, find my bearings again, think things through."

"That makes sense," Hisako sounded tired.

"I hope you get everything figured out, Daisuke," Ino just sounded sad.

"There's another reason I called you both here," I began, resting my hands behind my back. "That reason being that, because of the state of my head and how messed up I am in the head, I'm not dating anyone until I'm sixteen."

Both of them were quiet.

"Eighteen at the latest."

"That's too long!" Ino protested, almost sounding like she was going to cry.

Hisako just looked at me in shock, looking upset too.

"I know it's a long time," I replied, raising my hands in a placating gesture. "Too long for both of you to wait. I wanted to ask you, both of you, to move on."

"You don't want to date _either_ of us?" Hisako asked in disbelief.

"It's not that I don't want to date either of you," I started. "It's that I don't want to date at all. I am truly flattered and honestly floored that both of you had feelings for me while I was a…psychopath."

"Daisuke, you were never a psychopath," Hisako shook her head.

"Yeah, you _cared_ ," Ino supplemented with concern in her eyes. "You just weren't good at showing it."

"But that doesn't mean I was ready for a relationship and I'm _still_ not ready for one," I explained with a frown. "I'm sorry if it feels like I was leading you both on for months now, only to shut you down. I really am and while I hope we can remain friends after this…I can understand if you don't want too. But please, I don't want to make you wait an eternity to experience a relationship. More than I already have. Find someone else. Move on from me. I'm no good for either of you and I won't be any good for far longer than either of you should have to wait."

An explosion heard in the distance, like a flashbang going off. One of my clones was jumped by two Shinobi, but I don't recognize either of them.

I took in a breath. "Anyway, that was one of my clones being jumped. I guess some are taking exception to my leaving for so long. I need to get out. I'll miss you both, see you in three months."

"We'll miss you," Ino said with a half-hearted wave, tears in her eyes but with some resolve behind her. "Please come back."

Hisako, looking sad and completely defeated, offered a wave looking me in the eyes as tears started to fall.

With a return wave, I was gone. Back in the Vault.

First stop, Suna.

…I broke their hearts. But they'll recover. Eventually.

I hope.

* * *

 _Author's Notes: This chapter is short, but it's as long as it needs to be. I had a lot of trouble with this chapter because I wasn't sure how to start it. I had thought about dedicating this chapter entirely to Daisuke hunting down bandits and I realized that I didn't need to do that. I didn't have much to say, it would've just been filler. Fun action scenes, sure, but nothing plot-heavy happening. Ultimately, I'm happy with how this chapter turned out._

 _Shout out goes out to Silver W. King and A Person, welcome to both of you to the Circle of Patrons. You guys are awesome, thank you for your support._

 _Shout out also goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _Thanks to all of you for your continued support._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	62. Around the World: 1001 Tales

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

The trick to infiltrating any hidden village is understanding it's security system.

Take Konoha for example.

It's chief security measure was the giant seal designed to alert the Hokage, the Jounin Commander and ANBU Commander whenever someone that isn't a Konoha nin gets within 2 feet of the walls. It's a pretty well designed and built seal, Angler's in the sewers notwithstanding. I think the only reason the angler's got a _pass_ was because the Behemoth was given permission to be in Konoha, covertly, so that the Hokage, Jounin Commander and ANBU Commander didn't all go ballistic trying to find an intruder in the underground and bust ROOT wide open.

Suna's chief security system is the grains of sand the village is built on.

Each and every single particle of sand is the sovereign property of Gaara. They recognize that fact and worship him as Lord and Master. The only reason my attempt at an incursion can work is because I can fly. If my feet don't touch the sand, the sand won't sound the alarm and Gaara can't crush the life out of the invisible nin who dares try to enter his village in secret.

Of course, that's the most plain and visible system they have, but there's no way it's the only one. Judging from the chakra I can see, it's got a seal as well. Well, technically seals like this are actually dozens of seals interconnected to work together. The first is the 'sensor' jutsu bound in place, then the seals dedicated to giving the important people in Suna the 'ping' when the perimeter is breached. It's a network of jutsu held in place and sustained by chakra, which is what all seals are.

Before I go any further, I'm going to take a look at my quest log and get a refresher on this quest that I'm going to undertake.

 _1001 Tales._

 _Search for signs of a Coup against the Sand Daimyo: (0/3)._

 _(Optional: Find documents for each Great Shinobi War): (0/3)_

 _(Optional: Don't get spotted once)._

Search for signs of a Coup, learn about the Great Shinobi Wars and don't get spotted.

I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment here to state that if I get caught and don't deal with witnesses, I will start another World War. World War 4 will be on my hands if I screw up at all. There it stands. Being spotted or having my mission compromised is completely unacceptable. So, I need to be careful. Touching down on the ground out of habit or turning off invisibility at the wrong time would be completely disastrous.

Take a breath.

Exhale.

But if I'm going to be doing anything with this world, at all, I need to understand the politics of what's going on here. I need to know the world history, I need to know why it's such a dangerous place, why no one can ever do anything about it. I need to understand why the villages can't ever just live and let live, especially with Konoha's dedication to peace and extensive diplomatic efforts.

I mean, it's probably more than seeing them as a vulnerable animal ready to be butchered and eaten. Probably. Lot's of cynicism in any case, I'll need to get the details before I can put together anything closely resembling an actual solution. And by solution, I mean attempts at a solution A-1 to A-10 and that's not even going into the rest of the alphabet.

But it's time to start.

First thing I need to do is figure out how to move in without causing a disturbance to the sensor seal. Ideally, I'd input my blood into contract of 'approved persons' but that's locked away who knows where. I might actually bump into it while I'm inside the archives, but I honestly doubt it. I would say 'let my CDN just absorb it' but that would cause an even bigger disturbance than just walking through normally because they would be alerted that the seal and jutsu is being disrupted _bad_.

So…hm.

What to do?

Strong henge into a Suna Nin? No, I'd need to morph my chakra for it to work and that is biologically impossible. Create a biological clone of a Suna Shinobi out of thin-air with creation release? Yeah, if I feel like dying. I don't. Go back in time to when I was invited into the village and do this quest then? Yeah, if I feel like dying. I don't.

Stupid Time and Creation Release requiring hit-points to be used.

Alright, so what do I do then?

Mass Shadow Clone an army, henge them into an army of homeless nin, stage an attack on Suna and sneak in, find the document with approved shinobi and place my name on the list, with appropriate blood print and then search at will?

How about a strategy that does _not_ cause mass pandemonium?

Walk up to the front door, ask to speak to Gaara because he owes me a favor, wait through detention, talk and maybe gain access to their archives? Beyond the risk spending my three months if not longer in T&I and never even seeing Gaara, there's also the fact that I'm looking for evidence that they're planning a coup against the Wind Daimyo. I'm going to be watched, so…clone?

Nah, they'll pop it.

The question becomes then, who _is_ allowed into Suna?

Traders.

The land of Wind, as was repeatedly covered into the academy, is completely and desperately dependent on trade coming through to stay afloat, especially during droughts when the wells were all dry. It has no resource value so no one really wants to conquer it anyway. Million Ryo's on there being a vast deposit of crude oil somewhere under the sand just to jump-start the economy to 'biggest in the Elemental Countries' for middle-east parallel's even though Suna isn't the Middle East. But until they learn what oil does, if they do have a lot of it, it'll be useless.

So, disguise a clone as a trader, smuggle real self in with the merchandise, sell stuff and give Suna some fresh Ryo while I'm pilfering their archives and mission information.

Honestly, it's perfect. Shouldn't be too hard to forge proper identification. Well, unless it's got some chakra as a measure against counterfeit.

…crap.

Again, you can't morph your chakra into someone else's. I mean, you can remove any and all 'impurities' from your chakra, make it neutral. That's emergency chakra exhaustion treatment 101. The problem is making any chakra something that isn't yours. So you can purge someone else's chakra and make it yours, but you can't purge your chakra and make it someone else's because it's straight up impossible. I can't produce the differentiating features of Naruto's chakra, for example, anymore than he could mine.

Like only produces like after all.

Alright, that's out.

Trying to obtain a pass into the village legitimately will take longer than three months and Konoha will find out. They'll start asking questions. It will turn into a political mess. A horrific political mess.

Why don't I just ignore the seal and go in? It's not like it tells the Kazekage exactly where I am, just that I'm there. Besides starting a panic, causing the whole village to go on high alert and get people to be actually looking for me where it would be significantly safer if they didn't even know I was there.

But would it even matter if they knew I was there if they never actually find me? I mean, I'll need to find their archives and those are going to be protected in case of a security alert. My biggest problem is that just because I'm invisible doesn't mean I'm undetectable and it's going to be a lot harder to sneak in if they're actually looking for something.

I have 100 Sneak.

There's actually a chance that they wouldn't be able to find me even if they could see through my invisibility. I'm technically a stealth artist in the same way that I invent Ninjutsu and use Taijutsu. If they never find me, it won't matter if all the alarms go off. Besides, I'm known for being a combat monster that abhors stealth, they won't immediately jump to the conclusion that I infiltrated them after they give the matter some thought.

It just offends me that I can't figure out a way to do this clean and quiet. I'm supposed to be a smart, more considerate guy now. If it was just me on the line, I wouldn't care so much, but I'm about to throw a village into uproar and if I'm caught it'll be a huge diplomatic incident. At the very least, it'll burn all of the favor I earned with Gaara and I'll be let go. But that's being unrealistically optimistic.

Quick and clean, that's what I wanted.

But we don't always get what we want.

First, a wave of duplicates, get some initial scouting done. They're invisible, so they can just pop themselves when required, if they get cornered. No fighting, no anything. Just ghosting around, get into the archives and…port…no wait. Just use clones. They find the information I need, then poof themselves, bringing it straight to me. It's practically foolproof.

…I'm starting to see why Naruto was considered the strongest Ninja who ever Ninja'd. Sekaikage. World Shadow. He just makes billions of these things day in and day out and they can do basically anything.

Brought my hands together.

Shine Clone jutsu.

A team of five clones, their forms briefly distorting the air before settling. Then by the rush of air that I felt, they zipped down to the village below and I was forced to sit and wait. Just wait.

…I'm bored.

But that's okay. Being bored is not the worst thing in the world. In fact, that's something I need to work on coping with. Being bored. It's fine.

I'm tempted to execute the wait command, but I don't know if that'll blow up my clones. Let's put that on the note, actually. In my notebook, I quickly jotted down that I needed to test the Wait mechanic with clones to see if that really does pop my clones.

Okay, back to waiting.

You know what I should do?

Make a hand-held gaming system. Even something as simple as _Snake_ would be better than just sitting here right now. Actually, I've always wanted to play D &D on demand, but the biggest weakness I had was trying to find someone willing to DM, which was a lot of work. With jutsu, and seal work, and 10 Intelligence, I might be able to invent a DM which comes up with stories and plot lines automatically. Just so long as I don't make it sapient, it should be good.

The sun gently flew across the sky in it's slow, ponderous way, the shadows on the village below growing and changing direction with it. I could see patrols of nin being scattered, slowly growing more frantic as hawks started being let out, dancing in whatever formations they might. I assume that flight pattern was 'silent alert'.

There was a point when the hawks were collected back inside then let out again, this time with a different signal. They flew in a different formation this time and the patrols all started to calm down. Is that formation 'false alarm'?

That's interesting. Only took, what, two hours? Huh. Alright, I guess they're doing a good job of being hidden. Are they looking at the seal to see if it's gotten bugged? I mean, it _could_ happen. I don't know _how_ , though. Extenuating circumstances definitely.

…Hooboy.

 _Quest Completed: 1001 Tales._

 _Completed:_ _Search for signs of a Coup against the Sand Daimyo: (3/3)._

 _Completed:_ _(Optional: Find documents for each Great Shinobi War): (3/3)_

 _Completed:_ _(Optional: Don't get spotted once)._

 _+1200 EXP._

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _Level up!_

You know, this is a very bad time for a level up. Ugh. I wasn't even paying attention to my EXP over the past few weeks. Whatever.

All _23_ points into Barter. Bring it up to 53. It was boosted 10 points when I got almost Perfect so while it was 20 before then, it was 30 after. I'm level 31, so no perk to spend.

Thank goodness we avoided that close call with the Kazekage. Almost Bumped right into him on the way to the archives. That would've almost made me call off the op and have to come back in a week and they surely would've bumped up security because they'll know what I was after.

But it doesn't matter, I got in and got what I wanted.

Number 1, yeah. They were totally planning a coup against the Sand Daimyo. Turns out it's a bad idea to outsource your mercenary work when you've got your own force sitting in the sand getting poorer by the day. That was the main impetus behind them colluding with Orochimaru to invade Konoha, which was still on the table until Orochimaru's death. Beyond taking out their chief competition, they could take over the Sand Daimyo's position and install a puppet.

Things in the Land of Wind are bad. The poor are getting poorer. Some of the Rich are picking up and leaving because _they're_ getting poorer too. I wonder how Gaara managed to turn it around in Canon, since there was still a village to be Kage of when Shippuden rolled around. Maybe I'm just overestimating the time until Economic collapse.

Actually, given my lower than Journeyman Barter skill, that's exactly what's going on. Though I don't know by how much. The more interesting thing was with the records of the Great Shinobi wars. Specifically, the third one.

They think Konoha started it.

We were always taught that Iwa started the war when they launched a surprise attack within the borders of the Land of Fire. It was taught without a hint of deception, even looking back on my lessons in the Academy. The instructors all believed what they were teaching with all the certainty that the truth brings.

But, well...

Let's not make any mistakes here, I don't like the third. He's overly manipulative, slow to understanding and quick to make exceptions for those he cared about. I remember that he actually let Orochimaru go and I almost want to say that he had something to do ROOT's continued activity. But he's not a warmonger.

So, what's going on?

I need to find out. Which means heading off to Iwa and back to Konoha and raiding their own archives for whatever is going on. Then I might as well head off too Kumo then Kiri to round everything off. I'm making a round the world trip. Heck, I might as well include the Land of Iron in my itinerary.

 _Quest Added: Around the World._

 _Completed: Complete 1001 tales in Suna._

 _Complete Written in Stone in Iwa._

 _Complete Ashes of the Past in Konoha._

 _Complete Myths of Olympus in Kumo._

 _Complete Rivers of Blood in Kiri._

 _Complete The Iron Rod in Tetsu no Kuni._

The Iron Rod?

Oh…heh. I remember now. Nice reference to my old religion. Symbolism for the word of God, going to dig up the Samurai's old dirt. Kind of a clumsy reference if you ask me, but whatever.

First stop, Iwa. Never been there before and I want to see more new places before I head back to the forests of Konoha. Besides, it's the most prohibitively dangerous place for a Konoha nin, which automatically raises its appeal by a large amount. I wanna see the world, after all.

As I flew off, below, I saw the remains of the battle Orochimaru and I had. The sand was scarred black from the lighting and fire that Orochimaru had thrown at me in a desperate attempt to stall me and run away. From down there, it looked like those scars were miles long. Up here, they only looked a mile long. At most. But the scars in the land were there. The snake had fought like a Lion, ironically, and the battle created a land-mark in the Land of Wind.

But it proved that those jutsu he threw at me were insanely powerful and would've easily killed me if it wasn't for game mechanics; armor reducing all damage I took by 85% and the CDN absorbing about half of the damage as chakra, allowing me to heal off the rest of it with Nutriwater.

With all my preparation, thousands of points of damage were reduced to just under a hundred points, poison could not work and he could not run. Preparation makes coming up with plans easy.

Preparation makes an impossible fight a winnable fight. But if I didn't have the game mechanics, I would never have won that fight. Ever.

* * *

Kabuto finished cleaning his glasses, looking at the monitors, making sure that Kimimaro's condition was stable. When he saw that it was, he turned back to the ill nin.

Kimimaro's curse seal had activated spontaneously several weeks ago for no reason. So, did the rest of those with seals, penned up for his Master to change hosts should he have needed it. But one by one, the seals on the others went silent, leaving the hosts alive, but visibly shaken.

But the ill Shinobi before him? His had not changed. In fact, it had only gotten worse. The glowing tattoos had engulphed him, enshrouding him in a cocoon.

There was really only one possible explanation for this.

Orochimaru-sama had died and was searching for a new host.

The fact that he chose Kimimaro indicated that he wasn't able to think clearly from wherever he was now. That, or he considered the idea of dying by trying to take Kimimaro a moot point since he was already dead. It was a miracle that the Shinobi was still alive or doing as well as he was.

It would not be long before Orochimaru had finished taking Kimimaro's form. Then they would need to decide where to go from there.

Kabuto took a breath. They would need to go into hiding. From the Village of Sound, Leaf, just completely drop off the Radar until Orochimaru-sama was able to take another, healthier body. A temporary replacement would be required to handle the village; he would not be told where they would find refuge in case of attempted coup while Orochimaru-sama was unwell.

The beeping started to pick up, the monitors displaying increased vitals. The purple chakra picked up in activity, sparking and shining brighter and brighter. Kimimaro began to scream, louder than he should ever have been able to because of his infirmities. The air seemed to swirl in a twister in the room.

Kabuto narrowed his eyes, shielding them in the crook of his arm. _It's almost time._

Then the light was gone. The monitor began to slowly beep as the vitals returned to normal.

He took a moment to straighten and then walk over to the patient.

Kimimaro looked more or less the same. Still ill, still on the verge of death, still defiantly clinging to life. But his eyes. There was a new intensity to them. A new calculated measure as they took in Kabuto's form.

"Kabuto…" Orochimaru wheezed.

"I am here, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto gave a bow.

"I live again," He said with Kimimaro's voice. "We will need to hide while I regather my strength."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said, straightening. "I will make the necessary arrangements."

"Thank you," Orochimaru replied.

"Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto began, swiftly moving to the desk to draft up plans. "If I may ask…what happened."

Orochimaru gave a mirthless chuckle. "Shimoda was every bit as powerful as I had hoped…a shame I wasn't ready for him."

"I see," Kabuto replied. "How far back are you moving your plans for him back?"

"To after I recover, most definitely," Orochimaru coughed out. "But after that? I will not try again until I have the Sharingan."

"So we'll resume finding and enticing the Uchiha brat," Kabuto summed up.

"Yes," Orochimaru agreed. "I wonder if I should take his eyes before he kills Itachi and brag about it before I end him? Or should I let Sasuke kill Itachi and take his body so that it's the last thing Itachi sees with his dying breath?"

* * *

 _Author's Note: I hate to do this to you guys, but this chapter is on the short end again. I was sick last week, that's my excuse. I also meant to have that bit with Orochimaru in the last interlude but forgot about it. So, here it is. A living, if not thoroughly incapacitated Orochimaru until he can body-jack someone else. Then he'll have Kimimaro's bone-things and be even more dangerous._

 _Next time, I'll try experimenting with writing the clones POV. I was hesitant to do that because I genuinely dislike it when the clones get POV segments in fics that I read, but I'm seeing why it's necessary to do it – it's boring when you don't get the POV._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, keefe owens, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _You guys are the best, thanks for your continued support._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	63. Around the World: Written in Stone

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"I'm just saying it's a good idea to turn around and not come back," I explained with a raised eyebrow. Kneeling down, I pulled a large rock out of the earth. It was about three times the size of my head, but that made the point I was going to make more obvious. "Last chance to go, or I'll put you all into a coma. With this rock."

There were eight bandits surrounding me and they all erupted into laughter at my threat. I was eerily reminded of bandits from Skyrim and raiders from Fallout, people who could not really be bought, bullied or reasoned with, people who only wanted to plunder and pillage until the player character ruthlessly butchered them like the subhuman meat-sacks they were.

The leader, a man dressed in a dark brown poncho and what I could only describe as a sombrero, fixed me with a cold glare. "Get 'em, boys."

I let out a sigh, attaching chakra strings to the rock and shooting it like a rocket, hitting the bandit leader in the 'button'; the place on the jaw that when directly struck would immediately floor an opponent. Then I swung it around and it collided with the knees of the bandit trying to throw shuriken at me. Then I pulled it straight up, knocking him straight into the air and onto his back.

Another bandit swung with kunai in hand, held in reverse. I pulled my rock in and spun around, launching it into this poor bandit's chest three separate times in rapid succession, knocking the wind out of him, then onto his face, sending him sprawling onto the floor.

Three down, five to go.

Right after I finished dealing with the first joker who thought it was a good idea to fight me in melee range, two more who were dual-wielding trench knives attacked. I ducked and span, bringing the rock around spinning and hitting both of them in their knees and hitting them both in the head with enough force to, you guessed it, put them into comas.

…I'm nonlethal, not harmless.

Three more, where'd they go?

Oh, they're running.

There was a chance they'd simply disband and go bug someone else, but that would mean inflicting them on someone else. So, they don't get to run – I gave them that chance already. They were homeless nin, so they got further than a chakra-less human would, but they were below academy level, so that wasn't saying much.

I send three sets of chakra threads tying around their legs, causing them to trip. I reel them in and with my now blood splattered rock, knock each of them into comas.

That's eight bandits present and accounted for. Unconscious and in comas, will be knocked out for one maybe two days? Actually, are they okay? They're not going to die on me? He's fine, he's fine, he's fine, he's…

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/50._

…he's fine. They're all fine.

On my search for Iwagakure, I came across this village which was being attacked by bandits and while the families all hid inside their homes, I decided to drop in and try to convince these bandits to leave.

Now they're unconscious and at the mercy of the law of the Land of Earth. Given that this is likely not the first time they've raided and sacked a town, and have more than likely committed murder, the penalty would be death.

Being perfectly honest, I agree with that law. The punishment must fit the crime, I just don't believe I'm the one who gets to decide who lives or dies.

The village was reasonably small, a few buildings chiseled out of the mountain-side. I could see people slowly starting to peek out of the windows.

"It's safe, everyone can come out now," I called out. "They're not dead, just out cold."

One of the doors opened, and gradually, an old man stepped out. He was bald, but had a long, long white beard. Tanned skin was thickly wrinkled and his eyes quickly darted from me to the bandits at my feat.

"Are you alright?" I asked, letting my concern reach my voice.

"What do we-"

"Are you alright?" I cut him off, wanting to enforce that I concerned about his wellbeing, not the money he might've been able to pay me. I've enough money to set myself up for life, I don't need any more cash. If I were strapped for cash and starving, maybe, but now? Nah.

"I-yes. Yes, I am alright," The old man replied. "I'm Fujioka Ryu, Mayor of the town."

"Good to meet you," I replied with a nod. "Anyone in the village injured?"

"Seven injured. They beheaded the captain of our militia in front of everyone three months ago," Fujioka spat on the bleeding face of the bandit's leader with a hateful glare. "And then executed the rest."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I replied with a frown. None of these people, that I could see, had anything that could be construed as chakra or jutsu-capability. "Anyway, let's get to treating the injured and you can tell me more."

"I couldn't ask you to do that," He said, the people in the village started to come out of their homes. "We're a poor village and we don't have much with which to pay you."

"I insist," I replied with a frown. "I don't need a reward, I just want to help. Besides, I might just be the best doctor to come through your village in a long time."

"If you don't want a reward, then why do you want to help?" The Mayor asked, squinting.

"Helping feels good," I replied with a shrug. "Besides, I can, so I want too. Alright?"

He was quiet, then let out a defeated sigh. "Very well."

I'm glad I had switched my outfit out a while ago for a brown jumpsuit and blank hitai-ate. I wouldn't have been able to get in by wearing something that tied me to Konoha. They would've fought to their last man to keep me away from the people who needed help and…yeah.

The mayor was slow, but I decided it best to school my impatience. Even while eyes of suspicion and curiosity were trained on me, following my every move.

The largest building, obviously the town hall, was made of the same dark stone the rest of the village was made of. It had three pointed pillars on the roofs, swirled from base to tip. The doors were about twice my height, and they swung easily on their hinges.

Inside, laid down on cots, were seven people, four men, two women and a small boy. Stab wounds and lacerations on all. I quickly got to work. "So, what was stopping you from hiring Shinobi to take care of them."

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/65._

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/90._

"We had been saving up," The Mayor replied as I mended the toddler's cut up arm and filled in the hole that had been drilled into his stomach. "But they found the funds we had been putting away today. We had just about lost hope until you arrived."

"And they wouldn't come help you on an 'I owe you', would they?" I asked with a frown, moving on to one of the women, a deep gash on her stomach.

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/85._

"No," The Mayor spat on the ground. "No, they wouldn't. Why would they? With how poor we are, we don't pay much in taxes so the Daimyo wouldn't compel them to help either."

"And you couldn't make the proper payments on a loan, could you?" I asked, moving onto the next woman, her arm having nearly been severed, hanging on by the barest hint of bone.

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/95._

"It would've broken the village," The Mayor shook his head.

"Make sure you keep the cash you've been saving up to jumpstart everything," I said with a raised eyebrow. "Alright?"

"Y-yes," The Mayor bowed. "You are most generous, Shinobi-san."

"No, I'm just stupidly wealthy and don't need any more cash," I replied, moving on to one of the men. This one had both of his knees broken in with what looked like a hammer. "Back to what you were saying before. It sounds like you've tried to go to Iwa and the Daimyo."

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/90._

"I have," The Mayor nodded.

"So, if you don't mind me asking," I began carefully. "How do you get to Iwa?"

"Well, as village leader, I'm not supposed to divulge that information," The Mayor replied, glaring out the door. "But no one here cares. They're down the road to the west. Pass through the canyon and take a left at the fork, then there's a dirt road that leads over a bridge that looks like it's being held together by nothing but a few strings. Sturdiest bridge I've ever walked across, but you wouldn't know to look at it."

"Ninjutsu at work," I replied absentmindedly, moving to the next patient. Ribs smashed in, miracle his lungs hadn't been punctured. "So, how would I get a passport?"

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/60._

"Every town leader has one," Mayor responded. "As well as those the Tsuchikage or Daimyo consider worthy enough for one."

"You mean the ones that give them the most money?" I asked with a frown.

"Correct," The Mayor became lost in thought. "Why do you need one?"

"Trying to infiltrate every hidden village," I replied non-chalantly. "Personal challenge."

"You're going to get yourself killed," The Mayor warned sternly. Well, I say sternly, but that's what it is behind the shock of such a brazen claim.

"Not if I get in legally," I replied with a grin.

The Mayor huffed and folded his arms. "I suppose that's true. You been to any yet or is Iwa your first?"

"Suna and Konoha, actually," I replied. "I just need a passport to Iwa and I'll be on my way."

Final patient. Cracked skull and concussion. Not too hard, actually.

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/90._

Okay, pretty hard actually. But thankfully, patching up brain damage is something I can do.

"Well, I don't know how you'd get one," The Mayor said. "The Daimyo's not fool enough to trust someone just randomly strolling into his court with a large sack of money and that's double for the Tsuchikage."

I let out a sigh. "I was hoping that wouldn't be the case. Thank you for your time, Mayor."

The Mayor sighed and stroked his beard. "Look, it's not that we're not grateful. We are. This is just a fool's errand. How you even got into two Ninja villages is beyond me, but I'd abandon this quest of yours before you land into something you can't back out of."

"I appreciate your concern," I told him with a smile even though I wanted to ram my head into the floor. "I will consider what you have said."

"Excuse me?" In walked a new participant. A tall, rail-thin man with an _excellent_ Fu-Man-Chu mustache. "But I heard this fine young man had a problem that I might be able to solve."

Thank you, Luck Stat.

"A pleasure to meet you, Shinobi-kun," The man said, with a bow that I returned. "My name is Watanabi Shiki and I'm a merchant with the Gato Shipping company. Scouting out potential clients and sites to set up offices here on land. Perhaps you've heard of us?"

"I have," I replied with a nod, remembering the Land of Waves arc that started the Naruto manga. "A pleasure to meet you, Watanabi-san. You said you had a solution to my problem?"

"Indeed, I do," He said with a large grin. "You see, my employer was able to secure the services of one of the men in charge of creating passports and I have several…blank cheques as it were."

Just like that I've run into a corrupt business man wanting to help me out. But there's always a catch with people who are corrupt, businessman and politician alike. "So, what have I done to obtain such a favor from a distinguished businessman like yourself?"

"You smashed the faces of the thugs who attacked the town and nearly killed my guys," Watanabi pointed out with his thumb over his shoulder. Then he pointed at the three men I just patched up. "And you fixed up my guys, saving us tens of thousands of ryo in medical insurance costs…for no reward, am I right?"

"I don't need ryo, no," I replied with a shake of my head.

" _Excellent_ ," He replied with a grin. "Provided all parties are agreeing, we pay one passport for services rendered."

"I think it'd be a great idea if you made a payment to charity," I replied, gesturing with my head toward the mayor. "Good for the company image, I'd say."

The Mayor got this very uncomfortable look on his face and honestly, I felt the same way. There was no real way I'd be able to get a passport legitimately and unless I wanted to waste this chance I had to see the entirety of the elemental nations by just sending clones in every time, I'd need to enlist the shadier element. I've always hated corruption, in my previous life and in this one.

Would rooting out corruption later in my life count as repentance for using it now?

…I hate that line of thinking too.

But, actually wait a minute.

The worth of this journey isn't even _in_ seeing what conditions are like in the other villages. I know what conditions are, or at least I can make educated guesses based on their separate 'Wills', Konoha propaganda notwithstanding. The real treasure is taking a measured look at living conditions in each land as they stand.

So, I can send clones into the villages, get the documents I want and still examine the affect that the village has on the surrounding area. So, my clone approach works, I just needed to _slow down_ and _be patient_.

"Actually, I think the Mayor is right," I lied, shaking my head. "I've already got two villages down in my quest, I think I'll just quit while I'm ahead."

The Mayor sighed in relief.

"Oh. So, we don't need to worry about payment at all," Watanabi replied with a shrug. "Smart move, Shinobi-kun, if I were honest with you."

"I mean, you could still make that payment to charity," I replied.

"That's unnecessary," The Mayor interrupted sharply. "We don't need blood money."

"I bow to your principled nature," Watanabi replied with a grin and an actual bow. I knew he was only happy about saving money. "Now, how long until my men wake up?"

"They'll be up within the hour," I replied with a shrug.

"When they're up and about, we'll be taking our business to where it is welcome," He reached into his coat and withdrew a business card. "If you ever need anything else, please feel free to contact me."

"I'll do that," I replied with a nod and smile. "Thank you for your generosity."

* * *

 _Quest Added: Written in Stone._

 _Find Information on the Iwa-Konoha conflict: 0/3_

 _(Optional: Find records of the Great Shinobi Wars: 0/3)_

 _(Optional: Don't get spotted once.)_

The land of Earth reminded me a lot of my old home.

In my first lifetime, I grew up on the wide-open plains in the mountains of Midwest America, a place that randomly broke out into huge pine-forests with one of the largest cities in the nation inexplicably rising out in the middle of the mountains. As I soared over the peaks and valleys of the Land of Earth, I only found myself feeling homesick.

The Voyage Home was a quest, and I _will_ complete it.

Iwagakure was surprisingly hard to find, if only because the village matched colors with the rest of the mountain range. It reminded me of a modern-day city, actually. It didn't have skyscrapers, but the dozens of peaks with buildings built on _top_ of those peaks evoked that image. Bridges tied the buildings together, providing footpaths for civilian personnel in the village to do what they needed.

It was remarkably similar to Konoha in that regard, actually. I wasn't sure they even had a civilian population, the Academy never talked about it. Just a society of hardened warriors that wanted nothing more than to murder Konoha and burn its forests to the ground. That's propaganda for you.

The infiltration operation was going to take longer than it had in Suna for the simple reason that I already knew my way around Suna. I've never been to Iwa so I don't know quite where everything this. But that's alright. This time I think I'll join my clones in the village, if only to observe the civilian population that I didn't know existed.

So glad I turned down Watanabi's offer, honestly. It would've been pointless for me and just soiled me for accepting the help of a corrupt business man. He was only trying to get me on the company's payroll, anyway. Understandable, but I'm glad I refused.

The village's capital building was easy to identify. It was the largest building with the symbol for Iwa engraved on it's roof. Alright, so. Team of five shine-clones, head on inside. Work fast. Work silent.

 _Shine Clone Jutsu_.

The five emerged around me and zipped to the village below. I descended as well, slowly. I noted the messenger hawks started flying in formations above the village. Iwa's ANBU were mobilized. As long as none of my clones make a stupid mistake, it'll go down as a false alarm after I leave.

As I floated down the bridges and streets of Iwagakure, I saw that the civilians had…all started to go inside? At the same time? They were locking the doors, shutting the windows, trying to still their breathing.

I blinked, trying to understand, when it hit me.

 _Perception Check Success: 10/7._

Oh yeah.

The Yellow Flash.

They likely put procedures in place while the Fourth was off earning his nick-name in case he managed to get inside the village with FTG. Suna hadn't acted this way because none of their men fell to the Fourth. But Iwa did and if they didn't quite understand how his FTG worked, they might've thought he could appear in their village if he found it.

I wonder how long it took for them to figure out that he needed special kunai to warp too. My own variant of the FTG doesn't cause a flash, now that I think about it, which explains why people thought I just went invisible when I used it if they didn't know I had it.

Landing on the ground, I pressed my ear to the door of a home, with five people inside.

 _Perception Check Success: 10/6._

I heard a child whisper. "Mommy, how long until the alert goes away?"

 _Charisma Check Success: 10/7._

"I don't know," Was the reply, from a parent trying to keep calm in front of their child but unable to hide their nervousness from other adults that were listening. "We just need to sit here, okay? The Ninja are searching the village, they'll let us know."

We need to finish this quickly.

I drifted off, searching the village until I found two people who had not gone inside. They were standing in front of a fountain with a small rock at the top, the pool around it being filled with rocks that looked exactly like this one.

It was a father and son, I hazarded a guess, both Iwa Shinobi. The father was bald, but with a thick, dark brown beard that I was immediately envious of, while the son, who couldn't be any older than nine, had his hair cut in a short mohawk.

"Shouldn't we be heading inside, Father?" The son asked with a frown.

"My orders are to guard the monument," The Father replied sternly. "That doesn't change if the village is under attack or not."

Monument?

Oh, this is the Will of Stone Monument. I had heard this had existed, but no one in Konoha has ever seen it in person. Wow! Alright, this makes sense now.

"Now son," This father began, stepping up to the edge of the monuments pool. He gestured to the stone that sat on top of the monument. "What is this?"

Ooh, a philosophical lesson. Awesome! I'm going to sit in, this is fascinating!

"It's a rock," The Son replied.

"That's right," The Father nodded. "What does it mean?"

"It symbolizes the stone determination all shinobi must have in order to protect the village and those inside it," The Child recited, sounding annoyed. "Those with the will of stone can't be moved when staying still and cannot be stopped when they are moving."

Interesting. So, the ideal Iwa shinobi embodies both the Unstoppable Force and the Immovable Object when it is required of them.

"That is right," The father said. "Now…"

He reached out and knocked the stone off the top into the water. Then he grabbed another rock and placed it on the top of the monument. "Has anything changed?"

The Son almost blurted out the obvious, that of course it had changed because he knocked the first stone off and placed a new one on top. "…no. Because there is still a rock on the top of the monument."

The Father slowly broke out into a smile. "That's my boy. Very good. Because we must all be as stone, so that we can carry on when others cannot."

Interesting. So, is the metaphor here that absolutely everyone is replaceable in the grand machine, or is it that everyone is capable of filling any role with distinction with enough grit? I believe that it's actually some mixture of both. A pure meritocracy.

A nice contrast between the Will of Fire and the Will of Stone, actually. The Will of Fire is primarily focused on compassion and believing in the power of love to bring about peace for everyone, while the Will of Stone requires everyone to be as stone; you will do what is required, or we will find someone who can.

I actually like them both. If one doesn't work, they don't deserve the fruits of the labor, but if they can't work, one should share in as much as is reasonable. They're like two extremes of the delicate balance between fairness and compassion.

…come to think of it, it's easy to see how the Will of Stone could be used for evil, grinding up and spitting out people. But has there ever been a time where the Will of Fire has ended up screwing us over?

There's something in the back of my head, a nagging thought of something I used to know but forgot in the thirteen years that I've been alive in this crazy world. I honestly didn't think I could forget things with 10 int, but hey. There we are.

I've forgotten something. But I need to remember. This honestly really bothers me. A lot. What could _I_ have possibly forgotten?

It's probably something really, really important too.

Maybe I'll remember later. For now, I think I should leave and wait for my clones to finish their work. Need to think about this. I need to remember.

 _Quest Complete: Written in Stone._

 _Completed: Find Information on the Iwa-Konoha conflict: 3/3_

 _Completed: (Optional: Find records of the Great Shinobi Wars: 3/3)_

 _Completed: (Optional: Don't get spotted once.)_

…well. Alright then. Iwa thinks Konoha started the third war too. But that's because they caught a black ops team operating within their borders. Identified as black ops, highest classification. Half the team was killed, the other half captured, who quickly found ways to commit suicide in captivity. Identified as potential members of a shadow organization that's technically illegal in Konoha but used as justification to start the war.

Crap, they're talking about ROOT. They suspect ROOT was a thing and it is a thing. I mean, the so-called 'attack' was written off as propaganda in the Hidden Leaf because the Hokage never ordered any such operations in Land of Earth…but they weren't operating on the Hokage's orders. They were working on Danzo's.

I've never even _seen_ Danzo. What does the guy look like? Isn't he on the run because of the Orochimaru experiments we found and aired out for the…clans…something stinks. And it's got to do with that thing that I can't remember.

They're also scared positively stiff of me. That's not unusual, I'd be scared of me in their position too. I don't ever plan on starting or participating in a war with them, but it's understandable. But they're mobilizing for war. A defensive war. They think Konoha would like nothing more than to start a war, destroy their village and take everything they had.

Inside Konoha, I can tell you that there are people like that.

 _Quest Updated: Around the World._

 _Completed: Complete 1001 Tales in Suna._

 _Completed:_ _Complete Written in Stone in Iwa._

 _Complete Ashes of the Past in Konoha._

 _Complete Myths of Olympus in Kumo._

 _Complete Rivers of Blood in Kiri._

 _Complete The Iron Rod in Tetsu no Kuni._

Okay.

So, I'm heading out before something happens and I get caught and start that war I don't want to start.

* * *

Hiruzen walked through the trees, as quiet and undetectable as a shadow.

It was mid-morning, the suns rays shining through the canopy above. The grass below gently shifted with the breeze.

Until, eventually, Hiruzen came to a clearing. An old, familiar clearing. One that he remembered well, remembered as the day the Second Hokage had chosen him as his successor.

Here, of course, stood another old man. His entire right side was covered in bandages, a golden brace on his wrist. Danzo turned to face his old comrade, the x-shaped scar on his chin as noticeable as any other day.

"So, it's finally come to this," Danzo sighed, looking at his old teammate with weariness.

"So, it has," Hiruzen replied. "It's been an age since we've been here."

"It has been a long time," Danzo agreed, a small frown on his lips. "Everything I've said. Everything I've done. It's all been for the sake of Konoha. For the sake of the village. You know this."

Hiruzen sighed. "I don't know why it's taken me this long to admit it, but I don't believe you. I don't believe I ever did."

"And why is that?" Danzo asked with a sneer. "Is it because I do the things that you won't? Because I performed that unseemly business that ensures that the village, that every village, is kept strong? The reality that work cannot be done without dirtying your hands is one that you've always rejected, Hiruzen. You're weak."

Hiruzen glared viciously at his old comrade before taking a breath to calm himself. "Danzo, let us be honest, here in our final moments together. You've never been interested in the good of Konoha, you've only been interested in the good of Danzo. Continuing the operation of ROOT against my orders, kidnapping children and orphans for use in your emotionless army, exterminating the Uchiha clan-"

"They were planning a coup!" Danzo explained, pointing severely with his good arm. "They had to be destroyed, down to the last man woman and child so they didn't destroy the village from the inside."

"They were planning a coup because we had put them in a compound," Hiruzen replied with a weary sigh. "Because they were being held accountable for the actions of Madara long after that monster's passing. Because Sensei demanded they be watched, that they never be allowed to become what Madara was. It was a vicious cycle, they did something, then we did something, and it continued and escalated until they all ended up dead."

"That's simply the way the world functions," Danzo snarled condescendingly. "The way men are. The only way to ensure peace is to burn it out of them. Their anger, their hatred, their capacity for revenge. Burn it out. Leave only loyalty and duty."

"And yet you never stopped resenting me for being chosen by Sensei," Hiruzen replied. "You never burnt out your regret for failing to volunteer, you never removed your fear of death, you never changed yourself to be that unthinking, unquestionably loyal soldier that you seem convinced Konoha needed. Only others, and only when they served you. Why was that, I wonder?"

Danzo started to shake, his only eye wide open and glaring as he undid the golden clasp on his wrist. "Konoha needs brilliant leaders and loyal soldiers. I am no soldier anymore."

"Come to think of it," Hiruzen mused, making the hand-seals for the summoning jutsu in the sleeves of his robes. "You became rather insistent about the Uchiha being locked into a compound on a suspicion, not because of anything they had done. Not anything big. So, tell me…did they have something on you?"

"They were simply traitors in the making," Danzo snarled, starting to undo the bandages, revealing…Sharingan. "I simply removed them and distributed their power to where it could best serve the village."

Hiruzen blinked. Blinked once, then twice. Staring there, at the pale flesh of Danzo's arm that had many, many red eyes staring out at him. Solid red eyes that were implanted into the flesh, that moved, functioned and saw much like normal eyes. "I see. You merely desired their power. That makes sense. Did my old student help you with that?"

"A traitor as well," Danzo replied. "Why are all your student's traitors or soft-hearted cowards, Hiruzen? Tell me that!"

"I believe you are the last person that should be judging others for cowardice, Danzo," Hiruzen replied, the summoning jutsu primed, Enma ready to pop in when the fighting started. "I had wanted someone who could compensate for my soft-heartedness, Danzo…clearly I made the wrong choice when I picked you. I see that now. How ironic is it that the man who demands absolute loyalty is the one who's committed insurrection?"

"There is nothing more to say," Danzo stated with a cold glare.

Finally, the two men charged.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Back. Just had to take a break from burnout, for those of you that didn't know. I was having trouble figuring out exactly how to accomplish what I wanted to accomplish from this arc and I think Daisuke demonstrates that as he's trying to figure out the best way to finish this quest that he's on, weighing the various strategies and tactics he could use._

 _Danzo…was never meant to be someone that Daisuke fought. I decided that as early as the second or third chapter. At the time, it was simply a decision I made because I didn't want Daisuke to be the one to solve every problem the world had. I didn't want him taking Naruto's place, per say, as the hero of the world. Of course, as the fic had progressed and I got a better feel for what I wanted to do, things may have changed, but we'll have to see when we get there._

 _Shout out goes out to_ Huan _and_ Darth Bane. _Welcome, both of you to the circle of patrons. I also want to make it clear that I will eventually return to and finish_ For The Empire _, I just wish to finish SHINOBI: The RPG first. I haven't forgotten the fic, it's just on the back-burner, percolating in my head._

 _Shout out also goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _You guys are the best, thank you for your continued support._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	64. Around the World: Ashes of the Past

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

One of the things that Hiruzen liked were one trick ponies.

There were Shinobi, some even as high as S-rank, that got through their careers going through a very small set of jutsu. Most shinobi had twelve to fifteen techniques they could rely upon to get them through almost every mission. One trick ponies sometimes got a long on a set as small as five, all based on the same element or the same school of thought.

Hiruzen liked them because they were easy to counter and you could counter them all with a large enough library of techniques. A library that continued to grow in size with every one trick pony that he surveyed, both friend and foe because they always found a way to improve on their techniques in a way that made it theirs. Distinct flavors of the same dish, to borrow a little-known saying of the Akimichi.

Take Danzo.

Danzo, in spite of the fourteen different ways, by Hiruzen's counting, to expand his library of jutsu, was a one trick pony. His favorite style of jutsu?

"Wind Bullet Jutsu!" Danzo called an inhaled.

Wind Jutsu. Specifically, Wind projectiles.

"Earth Clone Jutsu!" Hiruzen shouted, creating a series of rock clones and had them take formation around him, then he burrowed beneath the earth and another earth clone took his place. The squad then moved forward, being slowly chipped away by the bullets at the earth jutsu resisted the win chakra.

It was so like him, Wind Projectiles. Swiftly seeking out targets to pierce or slice while only being the barest hint of visible only to trained eyes. Nigh-universally effective until it meets something made of rocks; wind has a hard time cutting through stone and stone-faced Shimoda started the chain reaction to dissect ROOT's continued existence on accident.

With a breath, Hiruzen emerged from underground behind a tree, already preparing his next jutsu. "Mud-Slide Jutsu."

The ground in the area immediately began to turn to slippery sludge which even shinobi would find trouble standing on. Well, some. His old pupils wouldn't have had any trouble, Tsunade especially. It wouldn't have much effect on Danzo either, but it was something additional he would have to keep an eye on.

It gave Hiruzen control of the battlefield, which was all important. Made the next move predictable, Danzo would be jumping into the trees and running up the trunk in an attempt to get away from the ground that now belonged to the Hokage.

As Hiruzen predicted, Danzo did exactly that, spinning shuriken on his fingers on the way up. He tossed them both as flying buzz saws, ripping through the air with blades that had been extended with Wind Chakra. They bounced off of the clones but knocking bits of them off in the process.

One of the earth clones launched earth bullets at the running Shinobi. A jolt of adrenaline shot through Hiruzen as a lucky shot hit Danzo square in the head, piercing through the temple and out the other side.

Then things…changed. Danzo's body faded from existence, only to be replaced by a fresh-faced Danzo, running up the tree and jumping from one branch to another.

Hiruzen, from his hiding place on the ground, stared at the display, blinking owlishly. That wasn't a substitution and it wasn't a Genjutsu. Was it? After several seconds of far-away examination, he pulled his crystal ball out from the folds of his robes to get a closer look.

Inside the ball, he got a clear look at Danzo's implanted arm, seeing all of the eyes moving and twitching, looking around. All except for one near the shoulder. That eye was shut, almost like it was glued. There was no eye-movement behind the lid as there might be for someone who closed their eyes.

 _Izanagi_. The thought dawned on Hiruzen in a moment of clarity. _He has Izanagi. Fourteen, well thirteen, Izanagi to deliver him from certain death. That…a final line of defense should all else failed and all else has failed._

 _I cannot afford to make any mistakes_ , Hiruzen thought to himself. _I need to wear him down and finish him_ now _. He cannot be allowed to escape. Not if Konoha is to flourish. I will not tolerate another traitor being allowed to go free because of my failure!_

Hiruzen swiftly pocketed the orb and dug under the ground. Above, Danzo had finally broke another clone into pieces. He created two more to replenish his numbers and noted with joy that they had managed to hit him again with an earth bullet, rupturing one of the eyes and rendering it useless.

 _New plan,_ Hiruzen emerged behind a different tree and re-primed the Summoning Jutsu. _Just destroy the eyes outright._

Puncturing his thumb with one of his canines, he slammed the hand to the ground. "Summoning Jutsu!"

A puff of smoke that surely alerted Danzo that the clone that he had been fighting was, indeed, a clone erupted from the ground. Enma: The Monkey King emerged, his wild and unkempt white fur now stained with the mud on the ground. "About time."

"Sorry, old friend," Hiruzen said with a serious look. "But you're here now. The plan is to puncture the eyes he has implanted on his arm."

"Understood, you want a staff or a partner?" Enma asked.

"Wind Bullets!" Danzo cried in the distance.

"Partner," Hiruzen answered and the two jumped off into the trees as the invisible bullets splashed in the mud where they had been standing.

Flashing through a series of hand-signs, he ran along a tree branch as Danzo moved to behind another trunk to take cover from earth bullets being hurled at him by the clones. He had a perfect shot at Danzo's arm. "Wind Bullets!"

Something Hiruzen also deeply enjoyed when fighting one trick ponies was finding cause to use their own tricks against them. Sadly, Danzo saw the attack coming because he had eyes all over his arm and he jumped up and out of the way.

Enma then circled around the trunk and grabbed Danzo with his legs and swiftly used his hands to snap Danzo's neck. Then Danzo's limp body faded out of existence. Danzo reappeared behind the Monkey King and jumped off of his back to the next tree.

Two of Hiruzen's earth clones circled around Danzo's new tree, sliding and launching earth bullets up in the branches, knocking them down and causing them to fall. Hiruzen grabbed two kunai with bomb-tags attached to them and threw them up at Danzo. Danzo returned fire with a pair of shuriken's.

It took him a second to remember that those shuriken's which looked like they were going wide had their blades lengthened by wind chakra and he dodged out of the way, getting away with only a long laceration along his arm for his trouble.

 _I'm getting slow in my old age,_ Hiruzen thought as he quickly popped a blood pill in his mouth. _I have to retire soon after this._

The bomb-tags exploded up in the canopy, and with it, he saw a blown apart and burning corpse descend…until that burning corpse disappeared and was replaced with a fresh one, perfectly healthy that landed on a tree branch and started running.

Hiruzen, feeling fatigue starting to set in, popped a soldier pill in his mouth and then made two more Earth clones.

In hot pursuit, Hiruzen took off running. Hopping from the trunk to the branches above, he primed another round of Wind Bullets and let them loose. They hit Danzo square in the back. The momentary transition between dead and living was all the time that Enma needed.

Enma jumped on the newly resurrected Danzo and instead of trying to snap the man's neck. He placed both of his clawed fingers on Danzo's shoulder and _pulled_. The talons cut deep, cutting through flesh and eye together. In less than a second, Danzo's arm was literally sliced to ribbons, and with it every single Sharingan Eye.

"Good Work Enma!" Hiruzen called to his friend, jumping to the same branch where Enma was pinning Danzo to the ground.

"Thank you, Hiruzen," Enma replied. "It was a hard fight but we've triumphed."

Hiruzen pulled a kunai out.

"It should've been me," Danzo whimpered in pain. "It should've been me…"

A kunai to the back of the throat was all it took to silence him. Forever.

The best part about one trick ponies, Hiruzen knew, was that it was often fairly easy to permanently remove one of their most crucial tricks with a decisive blow. Then the fight was automatically won.

* * *

"Worms."

The Blackfoot Penguin I had accidentally summoned had a frantic look on his face, spinning around in place with all the grace of a beyblade. He was panting, breathing heavily and his eyes were wide open and blood shot.

"I need the worms."

"Uhhh…"

Then he rushed up to me and grabbed me by the jacket, pulling my head right up to his so we were locked in a staring contest. "WHERE ARE THE WORMS?!"

"Yujiro…?" I started with a deep frown. "Where's-?"

"I! NEED! THE! WOOOOOOOORMS!" Yujiro shouted at the top of his lungs.

I blinked. "That's too bad."

"Eh, rats. Ah well," Yujiro let go, suddenly looking perfectly normal. "Worth a try. Worm meat is delicious. Is that really you, kid?"

"Don't call me kid," I snapped at him with a glare.

"Yup, that's you," Yujiro said with a smug, self-satisfied nod. "What can I do for you, Daisuke?"

"Where's Captain Shizo?" I barked at him, still glaring.

"Eh, he got the day off so I got saddled with responding to your summons," Yujiro answered, looking around the office I had constructed for myself in my vault. "Nice place. Very…metal looking. This your personal hideout?"

"Yes, this is my home," I replied. "Do you have any legitimate business here or were you just going to prank me?"

"I'm the leader of Squad three for the day," Yujiro said with a grin. "And I've got a present for you!"

"You have a present for me?" I asked with a mount of dread piling up inside.

"Yup!"

"What is it?" I asked.

Out of the fanny-pack he was wearing around his round tummy, he pulled out this…stuffed, penguin doll. But it had peg-legs instead of, well, legs and were those red bat wings?

"Thank you for the present," I said with a smile, taking it from him to look at further. "…what is it?"

"Oh, geeze. You're actually thanking me now?" Yujiro asked with mock-disbelief. "Alright, you're an infiltrator in disguise. Who are you and what did you do with the real Daisuke?"

"The old Daisuke died when I got my empathy back," I told him with a glare. "Now seriously, what is this and how can I get Shizo here?"

Yujiro blinked once, twice, in surprise.

"Well, okay in order," Yujiro cleared his throat. "That is a bit of war-time propaganda from that little spat you helped us out with. The Seals, you see, wanted to make us look ridiculous for their kids. Or terrifying. Or something. Whatever, it looks hilarious. So they made…these. And gave them out like candy. They're called Prinnies."

"Prinnies?" I repeated, incredulous of this ridiculous name. "You know, I don't get the joke."

"You don't?" Yujiro asked with a raised eyebrow. "That's weird, I thought you'd be the one person who'd appreciate it the most."

"No," I shook my head, placing it on my desk. "No, I don't get it."

Why did I feel like someone, somewhere was massively disappointed right now?

"Well, that's annoying," Yujiro shook his head. "Oh well, what can you do?"

"Those don't explode or anything?" I asked him.

He got this…strange smile on his face.

"Do they?" I pressed with a frown, looking to see if there were any explosive seals written inside it.

"Not that one," Yujiro's smile got even wider. "You got a somewhere to test weapons in this place? You look like you could use a big explosion or something."

"…yes," I replied hesitantly. "Sure, fine. Whatever. Come on, let me show you to the firing range."

So, we left my office, slid down the railings flipped upside down, through a corridor and banked a hard left into the firing range. It was just a counter in front of a long corridor with targets at the end. Pretty easy, pretty basic.

"Alright, so," Yujiro said, producing another one of those stuffed dolls. "You pull the cord here and throw it. Like so!"

He pulled the zip-cord attached to the back of the doll, reminding me very much of Woody from Toy Story. Then he threw the doll and it collided with the back of the range.

"Dood!" The doll…whistled. Okay, seriously what are those things? I'm really, really confused as to how, culturally, those things came into existence. I mean, I don't know anything about Sea Lion culture so maybe that explains it perfectly but…what?

Then it exploded.

It got a small chuckle out of me, I guess.

"Ah, see!" Yujiro said, pointing at me and pulling out another doll, shoving it into my hands. "You needed explosions. Explosions fix everything! Especially emotional trauma. Come on, throw it!"

"I-"

"Throw it!"

"But I really-"

"Throwitthrowitthrowitthrowitthrowit-"

Finally, I just pulled the cord and threw it with enough force that it imbedded itself into the stone of the back of the range.

"Dood!"

Then it exploded, making an even bigger hole in the back of my range.

Alright, that made me laugh just a bit.

"See!" Yujiro said. "Now what's got you all in a frost-bite, huh?"

"Well," I took a breath. "I need some advice is all."

"Oh, I can help," Yujiro said. "I'm the Court Jester, no ones better at giving honest advice and scathing criticism than me!"

"I don't know-"

" _No one._ "

"Alright, alright," I took another breath. "I just have a problem is all."

"Well, what kind of problem?" Yujiro demanded.

"Since I've gotten my empathy, I've been pretty curious about the state of the world, right?" I began uncomfortably. "So, I've been infiltrating the various hidden villages, looking for information. On why we're constantly at war, why the peace is always temporary and learning what kind of dirty laundry they had. Trying to figure out just how bad it is."

"Ooh, don't do that," Yujiro shook his head. "All governments run on the sewage of corruption like it's their lifeblood. Better for your sanity to not pry to deep."

"Well, I've been doing it because I want to try to get it to change," I replied with a glare. "And it's possible if you know what you're doing."

"Even if you did change it, it'll just get filled with corruption, again, in a few decades anyway," Yujiro said, tossing his head around like he was juggling the thought. "Of course, if a massively corrupt country can survive a purge of corruption like that, it's a good way to make sure it lives for another hundred? Two hundred years? Anyway, I'm guessing you found something you didn't like."

"You might say that," I said, taking another breath. "I decided to check out Konoha's archives…"

"Ooh…"

"Just to not exclude anyone because I knew there was no way it didn't have any skeletons in the closet," I continued.

"Oohoohoo…"

"And, well, I learned," Remembered, really. "Some interesting things about the Hokage."

"Oohoohoohoohoo…" Yujiro chuckled like a sadist who got a hold of the still beating heart of some poor, unfortunate victim.

"Are you taking this seriously?" I asked with a frown.

"Oh, I'm unbelievably serious," Yujiro said, still grinning like a madman. "What'd you find?"

I took a moment to finish. "Do you know who Orochimaru is?"

"You mean that guy who summoned the giant snake that ticked off the Emperor?" Yujiro nodded. "Yeah, we've heard about him. Emperor ranted for like a whole day the first time the snake ran he was so mad. Anyway, what about him?"

"Well, he was a student of the Hokage's," I explained, going over some of the stuff I found while doing the _Ashes of the Past_ quest. "An old student. He got involved in messing with Kekkei Genkai, doing crazy, mad experiments on people. Shinobi. Civilians. _Kids_."

"People do messed up things in search of power all the time," Yujiro waved off with his flipper.

"I know that!" I barked at him, wanting to slap him for the reminder that I had sacrificed empathy for Luck.

"Well, then get to the good part then," Yujiro said with a shrug.

"The Hokage managed to corner him," I began, going over the memory that I hadn't forgotten, but only realized the seriousness of as I had gone over the records. "Managed to have him dead to rights. You know what the guy does?"

"What's that?" Yujiro asked, his mouth hanging open in a stupid smile.

"He let him go," I replied with venom, mostly just talking to myself at this point since he wasn't taking this seriously. "The Third, whose solemn duty it was to keep the village safe allowed that psychotic, evil, mad scientist go just because he couldn't bring himself to bring in or kill his old student."

"Ah, Nepotism," Yujiro said, squinting as if he were confronting an old foe and inhaling sharply through his beak. "Smells like…"

He inhaled again.

"Failure."

"No kidding," I hissed. At least I knew why he had nearly gone crazy when I failed to report his presence. The village might've literally gone up in flames from the clans rioting about Sarutobi's failure to protect them. If that got out, and I might just be petty enough to do it, things in Konoha would be changed forever.

Of course, given my reputation as an insubordinate deserter, they might just not believe me, speech and charisma checks notwithstanding. I've gotten enough 'success not possible checks' to know that just having 10 in a stat doesn't mean I'm a shoe-in to win.

"So, you learned that the leader of your village sold you all out and undermined the village justice system just to protect an old student," Yujiro nodded slowly. "Yeah, that's pretty bad. Is that the end of it or did you find anything else?"

"Well, there was a top-secret organization that kidnapped kids and brainwashed them into emotionless killing machines," I began. "Outside of the normal ninja force, I mean. They operated outside of Konoha's traditional military structure and only answered to one man: Shimura Danzo."

"So how bad did they get?" Yujiro asked interestedly.

Getting to the Hokage's personal records had not been easy. Seals everywhere, traps, bomb tags, the works. But I got in. "Danzo had ordered the complete destruction of one of the clans; the one responsible for Law Enforcement, actually. The Uchiha."

That was what I had forgotten earlier. I had only read a single wiki page in my previous life to went over it and I skimmed it. It's no wonder that I forgot this detail, but I remembered when I went into Sarutobi's personal records. He just let Danzo walk free after that. Ordered to disband ROOT, but free.

ROOT never disbanded.

"Wow!" Yujiro looked surprised. "That…I actually haven't heard of that before."

Itachi was only following orders. I'm now of the mind that it doesn't excuse him from the heinousness of the act, not even mentioning what he did to his brother.

"Knowing that would set your whole village on fire," Yujiro continued. "Then it really would be the Land of Fire and the village would go from the Hidden Leaf Village to the Hidden Ash Village."

I almost held in my scoff. That wasn't supposed to be funny.

"Ha, got'cha," Yujiro grinned. "Anything else you'd like to get off your chest?"

"Well, there's a kid I accidentally pushed over the edge when I didn't have empathy," I started, kicking the counter of the shooting range. "He had abusive parents. Emotionally abusive. He committed suicide as a result of my insult."

"You're not seriously taking the blame for that, are you?" Yujiro asked, raising his brow-muscle with a small frown.

"I'm not taking the blame, I'm recognizing it as a consequence of not having empathy," Which was technically my fault. "Regardless, I wanted to get some justice for the kid. I looked up his parents."

"And what'd you find?" Yujiro asked.

"The Dad had died two weeks later on a mission, saving his team," I replied, spitting on the ground. "He died a hero. More than he deserves."

"Yikes," Yujiro said with a frown. "And the mom?"

"Alcohol poisoning," I replied with disgust. "Drank herself to death a month after the dad died."

"You know, I can't honestly count the number of times I've seen quests for justice go wrong because the guilty party already had justice exacted on them," Yujiro said with a nod. "That sucks. So what kind of advice were you looking for?"

"I'm considering leaving Konoha permanently," I explained with a frown. "The next great Shinobi war is coming and I don't want to get involved in a war with no good guys."

"Woah, woah, woah," Yujiro raised his flippers to stop me with a shocked expression. "Let's not talk crazy here. _Our_ war had no good guys, remember? What changed?"

"I…nothing, I'd still help you guys out," I replied with a shocked frown. "Helping you guys wound up with a peaceful resolution between all of the summon clans."

"So, you just want to be the good guy here," Yujiro said, slowly nodding and coming around. "Well, aren't there good guys _in_ Konoha?"

"Of course," I replied. Naruto, my team technically, Kakashi, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji. "But that doesn't mean I want to perpetuate this cycle of war, heal up, war, heal up, war, heal up…I want this endless cycle of war to end. Just siding with Konoha blindly won't do that. At least not without a lot of blood on all sides."

There is not a doubt in my mind that Naruto could negotiate world peace in a few years. The only thing I want to do is find a faster and better way so he doesn't have too.

"Well, all your friends are in the village and you should still try to protect them," Yujiro began with a thoughtful expression. "If you were to abandon them, let me ask you this – do you actually have a plan to end this cycle you guys have found yourselves in?"

I stopped to think. "Not at this time…I just think it would be wise to cut it off. For now. Maybe mend bridges after the dust settles."

"But you don't know for sure that cutting them off will be necessary?" Yujiro inquired.

"No, I know that for sure," I argued back. "All of the villages stand to gain from waring with each other. Suna is always poking Iwa because they need the resources that Iwa has and they don't have to pass through River or Grass to get to them like they do to get at Konoha. Iwa and Kumo both covet Konoha's land, resources and bloodlines. Konoha in turn wants both villages dead for prior wrongs and Mist, well, Mist is just a bloodbath. I don't understand what's going on in Mist."

"Alright, so I think I can see your point," Yujiro began slowly, rubbing the bottom of his beak with his flipper. "So the real question is, what would you do to break the cycle?"

"What would I do?" I repeated the question, then I thought. I thought for a few minutes. "During the recovery phase, I'd starve them."

"You'd starve them?" Yujiro repeated, intrigued. "You mean you'd cause their supplies to die out."

"Supplies, money," I continued. "Stop them from preparing for war and pave a way for them to get out of extinction by doing things other than being, I don't know, warlike. Building infrastructure, I guess. Healing the sick, treating the wounded."

"Huh," Yujiro blinked. "Well, Mr. Will of Fire, what's to stop Konoha from going along with that?"

"There is no way they'd still get paid the same amount for doing civilian work," I explained, my barter skill starting to kick in. "They'd never voluntarily go to a new job they have much less experience in for less pay."

"Alright then," Yujiro nodded. "Well, you're right. There's no way Konoha would ever be okay with that. Ever. But why don't you save the bridge burning for when you've got something more than a pipe-dream, eh?"

"That makes sense, I guess," I replied with a shrug.

"Come on," Yujiro said, patting me on the back and drawing out another Prinnie from his Fannie pack. "We've got explosions for that."

"Oh, fine," I said, taking the ridiculous grenade and tossed it.

"Dood!"

* * *

"You're home!" Hisako squeeled in happiness, rushing to tackle-hug the woman who ran into the door.

"Hey, sweetie!" Hisako's Mom, Yamada Keiko, had dark brown hair that was tied up in a bun, with pale skin. She shared her daughter's black eyes and thin eyebrow and her smile glowed as she spun in place with her daughter's arms around her. "How've you been?"

"I've been great!" Hisako said, with a huge smile. "I've got something huge to show you!"

"Let me see!" Keiko said with a grin.

Hisako dashed off into her room and came out again, holding a dark olive-green jacket up for her Mom to see.

Keiko gasped. "You made Chunin! Oh, I'm so proud of you! Does your Father know?"

"No, I've been waiting for him to come home to tell him," Hisako said with a shake of her head, putting on the jacket and zipping it up. "Doesn't it look good?"

"It looks wonderful on you," Keiko agreed with a nod. "I'm so proud of you, honey."

"Thanks Mom," Hisako replied sheepishly. "So how long are you home for?"

"I'm home for a week and then I've got to go out again," Keiko replied. "Why don't you let me put my things down in my room and then you can tell me all about it."

Hisako quickly jumped on the couch. Then she moved to smooth out her point of impact so her Mom hadn't seen her jump on the couch before she emerged from her room.

Keiko didn't take very long, having shed her coat and armor and instead putting on a simple, green t-shirt and sitting gently on the same couch as her daughter. "Okay. Tell me how the exams went."

Hisako dove head first into explanations about each phase. How during the first phase she didn't have to do anything since her crush basically just brute-forced the test in a way that no one could fault him for or catch him doing. Then the second test and she mentioned Orochimaru.

"Wait, wait, wait," Keiko started. "He knew who Orochimaru was and didn't report him after he attacked all of you?"

"Well," Hisako looked visibly uncomfortable. "Yeah."

"Unbelievable," Keiko sighed. "That's completely irresponsible."

"I know Mom," Hisako sighed as well. "I agree too."

"Did they at least catch him?" Keiko asked critically.

"Well," Hisako started slowly. "Not…exactly."

"What happened?" Keiko asked.

"Daisuke got in trouble, so he went after Orochimaru and killed him," Hisako said quickly.

"Killed him," Keiko repeated in disbelief, eyes wide.

"Severed his head and tossed it to the Hokage," Hisako nodded slowly.

Keiko blinked slowly several times in a row. "Well, as far as correcting mistakes go, that's a pretty good way of going about it."

Hisako got a sad look on her face. "That was the day Nichiren and I learned that Daisuke had long since become S-rank and we were just slowing him down."

"You weren't slowing him down," Keiko reassured. "What happened next?"

"Well, I…wanted to talk with him," Hisako began. "Try to get him to see why it was important to think about his actions. To try to get him to stop rushing headlong into things and ignoring the dangers. I screwed it up. He got mad, started shouting. All the Jounin in the room freaked out and he told us that we wouldn't see him again until his issue was fixed. Then he disappeared."

"So, he just up and left everyone," Keiko said with a hard edge to her voice. "Right there, right in the middle of the Chunin exams?"

"Well, he came back," Hisako muttered.

"I…but still," Keiko muttered. "So how did phase three go?"

"Oh, phase three," Hisako started smiling again. "Oh, that was fun. I used my Genjutsu on an Iwa-Monkey."

" _Good_ ," Keiko grinned widely.

"The whole stadium was laughing at him," Hisako smiled wistfully. "Made a complete fool of him in front of tons of clients. It was great. Perfect. Nichiren took out a Kumo nin in like two seconds."

"That's fantastic," Keiko nodded, still smiling. "Will I be able to meet this boy?"

"I…maybe," Hisako said. "I'll ask him, but I was kind of hoping to introduce Nichiren and Daisuke together at the same time."

"Did Daisuke come back?" Keiko asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," Hisako nodded quickly and enthusiastically. "He came right on time for his first match."

"And what'd he do?" Keiko asked.

"Just Taijutsu. Normal, everyday Taijutsu," Hisako responded. "He completed dominated her. But, you know, that's what he does. He did the same thing for his next opponent too."

Keiko thought for a second. Then she smiled. "Did you get a chance to use your senbon?"

"Uh huh," Hisako said, smiling too. "First match. Turned that Iwa-monkey into a pincushion."

"Oh, I wish I could've seen it," Keiko said with a smile. "Your father would've laughed so hard at that."

"It was funny," Hisako nodded, still smiling. "One second, he was totally fine, the next he had a million needles sticking out of everywhere and he was on the ground not moving."

Keiko chuckled. "Yes, that does sound amusing. What about your final match, how did that go?"

"I was fighting Ueda, a Suna Genin with a puppet arm," Hisako said with a grin. "It was the coolest thing ever, actually. But anyway, I tried bringing him down with a senbon-storm and he just blocked it with a shield from his arm. Then I rushed in and he let out a cloud of poison right as I got to him."

"He poisoned you?" Keiko asked with concern.

"Nope!" Hisako grinned. "I backed out and went around the cloud at the last second. So, we fought. I used my dual-kunai and he used a shoto that came out of his arm. It was crazy. I cut and slashed. I used that triple-kick technique that Dad showed me. Then I brought my Kunai's pommel down on his arm and broke it…he was done after that."

"Awesome," Keiko said with a large smile. "Amazing, terrific. I'm very proud of you. You did excellent."

"One step closer to being able to go with you and Dad on your…trips, huh?" Hisako asked with a nervous smile.

Keiko didn't respond immediately. "I'm hoping your Father and I will be retired by the time your old enough to come with us and we can all just sit and be a happy family."

"But still," Hisako said with a frown. "I'm getting closer to…you know. I'm getting there."

"You are," Keiko nodded quickly. "My little girl is growing up so fast."

"I'm not really little anymore," Hisako protested with a small whine in her voice. "I'm a Chunin."

"Oh, you'll always be my little girl, honey," Keiko retorted with a teasing grin on her face. "I love you honey."

"I love you too," Hisako said back.

"So, who did Nichiren fight for his final fight?" Keiko asked with a smile.

"He ended up fighting Daisuke," Hisako replied. "He didn't make it to the final round."

"Oh," Keiko responded. "Was it a quick round, then?"

"No," Hisako shook her head quickly. "Nichiren turned the whole arena into a Spider-Web of Ninja-wire. Daisuke responded by electrifying the web and turning it into a death-trap."

"Well, that's…clever," Keiko responded, moving to take a sip from a cup of water on the table. "Who did Daisuke fight, then?"

"Sabaku no Gaara," Hisako answered with a shrug.

Keiko avoided spitting out the water only by accidentally choking and beating her chest to cough out the water and make it go down the right tube.

"Are you okay?" Hisako asked in deep concern, hitting her mother on the back.

"I'm fine," Keiko coughed again. "I'm fine. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. What sort of crazy, out of this world trick did Shimoda pull off?"

"Uh…I think he called it Space Release?" Hisako said, furrowing her brow. "Just made the sand go around him while he walked up to him and fixed his seal. Apparently."

Keiko slowly blinked. "I…alright."

"Daisuke causes you a lot of headaches, huh?" Hisako asked with a sad frown on her face.

"That's putting it lightly," Keiko answered. "He's a massive security risk, especially with this vacation he's on right now. Just…anyway. Sorry, honey. Didn't mean to cast a shadow here."

"It's okay," Hisako replied, still frowning.

"So…did you talk with him after you got back?" Keiko asked with a concerned look. "About the two of you…dating."

"We aren't going to be dating," Hisako said, her frown getting deeper.

Keiko barely held back a sigh of relief. Instead, she kept up the concerned look. "What happened?"

"Well, after waiting for months for him to fix the problem, to bring back the boy I initially fell for," Hisako began, her eyes starting to water. "Then after learning how to lo-er…like-"

"Hisako," Keiko interrupted with a raised eyebrow.

"After learning how to love the Daisuke that was with me right now," Hisako continued, getting choked up and turning a little pink in the face. "He comes back being more than I could've ever thought possible. Kind, honest, good to talk too…he tells me _and_ Yamanaka that he doesn't want to date either of us."

"Really?" Keiko asked with a frown.

"Yes," Hisako took a deep breath, steadying herself and blinking the tears away. "I feel like the boy of my dreams walked out of my head to tell me that I wasn't worthy."

"Did he say why?" Keiko pressed.

"He said he's not going to date anyone for a while," Hisako replied, taking a breath. "That he wasn't going to date until he was sixteen or eighteen and that he wanted us to move on."

Keiko blinked in disbelief. "That's a long time."

"That's what Ino said," Hisako said, folding her arms. "I…just don't know how much more I can take."

"I think you should just let it go," Keiko said kindly. "He's obviously not interested, it's not worth it to kill yourself over and over again because you're holding onto this idea."

"If you meet an obstacle, do everything you possibly can to get over, around or through it. Never give up," Hisako quoted with a frown. "That's Dad's Nindo and it's my Nindo too."

Keiko inhaled and exhaled. "Alright, honey. If you're dead set on waiting…but learning how to take no for an answer is a part of life."

"Not on this," Hisako glared, then looked down at her jacket. "Never on this."

* * *

 _Author's Notes: Originally, when writing this chapter, I was going to have Hiruzen letting Orochimaru go be the big thing that Daisuke had forgotten last chapter. After some digging, apparently he already remembered that, so I went with the other thing, something he barely even thought about in his previous life – Danzo's ordering of the Uchiha massacre and Hiruzen just letting him walk around. Much more plausible._

 _Other than that, there's not much else to say. I hope you guys enjoyed the fight between Hiruzen and Danzo. It was hard, but I hope the resolution was interesting and that you enjoyed it. Also, the conversation between Yujiro and Daisuke is going to be important. Obviously. Let me know what you thought._

 _For those of you on FFnet, FFnet isn't sending me notifications if you review anymore and I don't know why. So I will do my best to respond to your reviews but if I miss yours...that's why. Thank you for your patience._

 _Shout Out goes out too Super Patrons_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _You guys are the best, thank you all for your continued support._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	65. Around the World: Myth's of Olympus

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

Getting into Kumo was pretty simple.

Fly high into the mountains, find village in a secluded area, use binocular-jutsu to confirm that it's inhabitants were all wearing headbands then dive in. While the clones took care of the nitty gritty and the hawks flew out to signal intruders which the ninja immediately responded too.

The civilians remained at ease, though. It was nice, seeing these perfectly normal people being able to live in a ninja village just like Konoha. Just drives home that the wars prior were mostly about grudges and paranoia.

On today's docket was _Myth's of Olympus_. It was like the other quests in the _Around the World_ docket, look for history on the other world wars as well as look for what they know about the other nations since I'm curious on the depth of their information gathering; these are the same people who had the audacity to try to kidnap the infant daughter of Konoha's most powerful clan during peace talks.

Holy _cow_ did Konoha look weak in that instance of international diplomacy.

While the clones were handling the infiltration, I was looking for the Will of Lightning monument. I mean, I never heard of such a thing in all my years of history class, but then we didn't know much about other countries either. Only that Konoha was the first and put an end to the Warring States period by…utilizing fear.

They created peace by forcing the world into a cold war.

You know, that line of thought summarizes so much about the world I live in, it's almost funny. The world runs from hot to cold on the conflict engine. Judging from reports, judging how each war was just to avenge the wrongs of the previous one plus fear plus resource gain…but then they just kept at it. You'd think a pointless series of wars would just be resolved in peace treaties, right? Am I underestimating how vindictive people can be?

Well, I'm moved to violence by being called a child, so yes.

I just…I don't know. It's a feeling in my gut. It's telling me that these wars, at least in part, are being manufactured. Somehow. If I had to put my finger on it, maybe the Akatsuki is involved some how? I remember they had some crazy plan to put the whole world in a Genjutsu and it was called the Moon Eye Plan?

…well, they were already on the short-list of exceptions to my non-lethal run but remembering that means I need to depopulate their list of members to zero as fast as possible. Even Itachi. I know Sasuke called dibs on that monster, but the plan needs to be stopped. Now.

Anyway, that pleasant thought aside, if I were a symbolic monument to electricity discharging from the clouds to the ground, where would I be? At the top?

No…

Kumogakure was platforms. All platforms. It was made of platforms. Houses were built on platforms that had platforms built on top of them. Given their insane height into the mountains, I suppose this only makes sense.

Wait, is the monument that wall over there?

I zipped over to the wall that reminded me of a word-wall from Skyrim. Just a quarter-circle built into the center. The wall was just a mirror with two cracks coming down the center. The cracks were clearly deliberate because they made the shape of a lightning bolt going from top to bottom.

No one was conveniently around explaining the meaning behind the monument this time so I stood there, trying to figure out what it meant. The mirror obviously was supposed to represent us, i.e the people looking at the monument. The lightning through the mirror was also supposed to mean something but what?

That the village comes before anyone else? That everyone is meant to give everything to the village until you fizzle out in a blaze of glory like how a lightning bolt is blinding and deafening in real life but only lasts half of a second? What?

Come on, luck! Gimme someone to explain it to me.

No?

 _Quest Complete: Myth's of Olympus._

 _Com-_ yeah, yeah. I get it.

New insight into the battles, no new insight into the why of the wars. Though Iwa was hiring Akatsuki recently.

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level up!**_

Oh. Level 32. Fine, all the skill points into barter, I don't care anymore. Get me the white-wash perk. Yay, I'm now another step stronger than everyone else except maybe the Hokage.

Anyway, just trying to outright replace the hidden villages by doing missions at cost isn't going to work, obviously. If it could work, it would've already. The organization's been trying this for a long time and they feel the need to resort to a Moon Eye plan to…end the cycle of hatred?

Okay, if that's how it _started_ , it's been horrifically hijacked. Figuring out that story is going to be interesting. Maybe I can wrench it from Itachi as I'm stabbing out his eyes?

…mind rape is bad, kids. Not even once.

Whatever, I've got what I need. Even the knowledge that they're subtly preparing to militarize doesn't surprise me. They're going to war because they're afraid Konoha will seek vengeance. Which they will. Konoha is counting on me to win the war for them.

Konoha's just as guilty with what's wrong with the world as everyone else is. I mean, when I helped the penguins, at least they acknowledged the fact that their war had no good guys and they immediately seized upon a less brutal option the moment it cropped up.

But this war won't have a peaceful resolution. We're moving toward genocide. Every new war unearths new techniques and new super weapons with no civilian innovations coming in from those wars to at least make them profitable in that sense.

The constant cycle of war is a zero-sum game and the main problem is that the villages are spared of that.

Which is just contributing to that feeling that the wars are manufactured somehow.

Ugh, this hand-wringing is getting me nowhere. Let's go explore the rest of the Land of Clouds.

* * *

Hey, what's that?

That is a Kumo nin. One of the nin I saved, actually. From the blood worms? Yeah, Nogi Ayako. I'd recognize her Pikachu hair anywhere. Fittingly, she specialized in lightning jutsu. Sparring with her during the Chunin exam was kind of fun and she revealed an aptitude for Taijutsu.

She was standing at the foot of a cliff, rapidly making hand-signs and staring up the cliff. What was she aiming at? I looked up at the cliff itself and…wait…those aren't birds. I thought they were birds. I mean, they hand wings but those wings had _hands_ that folded into the wings and their legs were very, very long. To top it off, they had human heads. Human!

Are those harpies?

Those are harpies!

What are harpies doing in the elemental nations?

That makes no sense!

I…you know what, I'll worry about it later. Right now, I think I want to find the rest of her team…holy cow, the harpies made nests, too. Her team is up there, unconscious and bleeding. Taken up to the nest to feed on later if I had to guess. Ayako was their last pest to deal with before they could chow down.

Sixteen birds in the air, adopting a circular attack pattern and beginning to rain feathers from above. You know, I would really have preferred the raven from the monster house to be the last time I ever saw weaponized feathers, but here we are.

Ayako was throwing lightning bolts into the sky, downing two of the birds but taking several hits to the arms and legs. The lacerations bled deeply.

Should I give that team a hand?

…I mean, yes, obviously, but as a bonus to satisfying my conscience, she could explain the Will of Lightning to me.

Step one, touch down on the mountain. Step two, henge into a homeless nin with a mask that conceals the whole face. Step three, grab kunai and attach ninja-wire to them. Step four, wipe mindless animals from the face of the earth.

Running up the mountain to get where Ayako was making her last stand was trivial. One of the harpies swooped down, feet first with it's talons extended. I crested the edge of the cliff and threw out both kunai, impaling it in the chest and head. Immediately, I pulled the harpy down as hard as I could, slamming it into the mountain wall and then withdrawing my kunai.

As the harpy fell off the mountain, Ayako looked at me with bewildered and bloodshot eyes. "Who are you?"

Hm. I think she's been up on this mountain for a few days, she sounded ragged. My response was terse by necessity – I didn't want her identifying me properly. "The backup."

I prepared the kunai and wires to throw again. I considered setting them on fire, but a good way to avoid getting figured out as Konoha's Monster is to limit myself to one element of jutsu. A shame, I wanted to feel like Kratos for the second.

A screeching in the air pulled our attention and we saw feathers start to rain down on us. We both flattened ourselves against the mountain wall. Flying through hand signs, I placed my hands on the wall.

 _Excavator._

The wall gave way to a long tunnel, excess dirt rushing past our feet. I waved her inside. "Come on!"

We both fled and we could hear the harpies screeching behind us. The tunnel wasn't very long, I just wanted to force the harpies into position where they _had_ to enter a tight space in order to even get a shot at us. Given the screeching, they were going to take the bait.

"Why doesn't the tunnel go all the way through?" Ayako asked, her voice dripping with panic and desperation.

"I'm trying to lure the birds into a trap," I replied evenly, starting to spin the kunai. "Whip up some lightning for us?"

Then I threw the kunai down the tunnel, impaling one of the birds that I was knew was coming right through the head. I pulled the corpse down and funneled chakra down the wire to move the corpse down and to the left, using it to block another salvo of weaponized feathers coming from another harpy. Immediately threw my other kunai, stabbing one on the left side of the chest, about where the heart would be in a normal person.

Given that it went limp after a few seconds of sputtering blood from it's mouth, my guess was close enough.

"Lightning Style: Rolling Thunder Jutsu!" Ayako called, sending a roiling ball of lightning down the tunnel.

I recalled my kunai just in time to avoid getting zapped by the ball and it slammed into three of the harpies, sending them careening off the mountain. We were half-way done with these things. Three more harpies showed up. One of them charged and I rewarded their decision making my impaling it with both kunai and pulling myself toward it. I slammed into its torso with both feet and slid toward the other two while reeling my kunai in. I threw the kunai forward, one stabbed a harpy in the neck, the other through the shoulder. Sliding forward on this corpse, I kicked it off the mountain and swung both harpies after it.

The one I stabbed in the shoulder kept trying to desperately trying to fly while screeching at the top of it's lungs. I responded with a rock bullet to its skull.

Five more to go. I look up and catch two more, flying quickly off the mountain, throwing feathers down on me. I zipped back into the cave as the feathers embedded themselves into the mountain wall.

Ayako sprinted out of the cave, hands flying into seals. "Lightning Style: Chain Lightning!"

A bolt flew from her, hitting one which then bounced to the other. In a plume of smoke and twitching bird feet, they fell down the mountain. Three to go. Where are they? They've fled higher into the mountains with their tails between their legs.

"Come on," I waved Ayako forward. "They're on the run and we need to finish the job."

Ayako looked utterly confused. Her fortunes had completely reversed in a matter of seconds and I think her brain was having trouble catching up. "O-okay!"

She ran after me and together we ran up the mountain and after the harpies.

Making impromptu teams is actually kind of fun. Charisma is pretty useful in more ways than I was thinking at first.

Around the rock wall we went. We spotted another harpy streaking up into the sky as fast as it's wings could carry us. Ayako immediately slung a bolt of lightning at it, hitting true and sending it down to the abyss below.

Two more to go.

We climbed ever higher, going up and up, turning around the mountain, the sheer drop below us would've given me vertigo in my past life. We turned again and saw another harpy flying away. This one was mine, I sent a salvo of stone missiles after it with a flurry of hand-signs. Each stone hit it, breaking the things hollow bones with every impact.

Just one more.

Up we went, running in an orbit around us, looking up to find the final harpy. So focused was I on the sky that I _almost_ missed the harpy waiting around the corner on a landing that lead inside a cave. Almost.

With a screech, it waved and slashed with it's wings, razor-sharp feathers cutting through the wind. I let myself drop five feet to dodge the attacks before reattaching to the mountainside. A few hand seals and I plunged my fists into the mountain, pulling them out with my brand-new stone gauntlets.

Then I zipped up, ramming my rock-covered fist onto the things knee. It screeched until I plunged my other fist into the things rib cage, the bones each snapping satisfyingly under the weight. Finally, I took the fist that I had hit the things knee with and smashed the harpies head against the stone wall, reducing its head to a thick red paste on the mountain wall.

Well, that's over.

Letting out a sigh of relief, I got up onto the cliff, sitting down and helping Ayako onto the cliff.

"I think that's all of them," I said while examining my fists, the blood colored stone gradually fading away into dust in the wind as the jutsu faded. I clenched and unclenched my fingers almost by reflex. The thrill of watching something fly apart in a spurt of red, glorious liquid pumping through my heart setting my brain a light.

…I've missed this.

"Alright," Ayako said. "Now I need answers. Who are you?"

"Who I am isn't important," I replied to her question, keenly aware that she had drawn a kunai behind me. "I saw someone in trouble and I wanted to help."

"You expect me to believe that?" Ayako asked incredulously.

"No," I admitted with a shrug. "But it's the truth. Besides, you and I both know that you're not in any condition to fight, so I say we find the other members of your team see if they need help and then I can be on my way. Sound good?"

That was too many words from me. Trying to be short and terse.

She was breathing heavily, but it was slowing down. I couldn't see her, but I could picture her tired and blood shot eyes moving from side to side as she considered my words.

"Where do you think your team is going to be?" I asked, starting to stand up.

"Huh?" She shook herself out of her reverie. "One of the nests, probably."

I only knew where they were because I saw the nests from above. As far as she knew, I came from the ground, so I couldn't just tell her where they came from. "We should probably start searching, huh?"

She was quiet for just a minute. "…Yeah, you're right."

* * *

We retrieved the two teammates, Yoshi and Takeo and got them to that cave at the top of the mountain. It was a miracle that hadn't, at the very least, been nibbled on.

"These things have been raiding caravans for months," Ayako started to explain as she gave her teammates blood and soldier pills. "At first, we thought they were just ninja using some sort of Ninjutsu, but no. They're actual, flying bird monsters. After a few days, we managed to find the lab where they came from."

"They were grown in a lab?" I asked curiously.

"We found this lab with vats full of green liquid," Ayako shook her head. "We burned it and got to work killing the rest of the bird monsters. There were so many and my teammates collapsed from exhaustion a few hours before you got here. They got flown off to the nests."

Green liquid. Like the anglers, who were grown from the FEV. Which I still don't understand how that came to this world. I mean, I might've accepted it if Orochimaru was able to _invent_ the FEV in this universe, but even he didn't know where it came from. Someone, or something, is randomly mutating random people with the FEV to monsters to torment the people of the Elemental Nations with.

I need to figure this out. And soon.

"Thanks to you, we're all alive," Ayako said, sitting down around the campfire that she had been carrying around in a storage scroll. "So…thanks. I guess."

"You're welcome," I replied.

We sat in silence for a minute, the sun setting off in the west as it usually did. The cool mountain air grew chillier. Some of the plants growing out of the mountain side were waving listlessly in the breeze.

I cleared my throat. "Actually, there is something you can do for me."

Ayako's head snapped in my direction with a frown. "What?"

"You can explain the Will of Lightning to me," I replied, noting that she was expecting a…baser favor. Which made me feel a little bit sick.

"Explain the…" She blinked. "Alright. Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm trying to understand the world," I explained with a shrug.

"Well," Ayako paused, looking toward her teammates. "Alright. So…the Will of Lightning. The Path of Determination. You know how lightning starts, right?"

An electrical discharge taking place between a cloud and the ground, or in between two points of charge in the clouds if you want intra-cloud lightning. "Yeah."

"Well, when it goes from the cloud to the ground, it's because both sides have lightning coursing through them," Ayako began.

Well, both sides have an electrical charge so I guess it's… _right_ in its own way.

"So, the lightning in the cloud, it really wants to get to the lightning in the ground," Ayako continued. "So, it starts to travel down the air. But every time it makes a move down the air, it encounters a roadblock. Instead of giving up and going back up to the cloud, it finds another route. Then another. And another. Until finally it reaches the ground and the sky lights up."

That is a very, very interesting way of saying it. It is technically right? Sort of?

"So, what does that have to do with the philosophy your village operates under?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm getting there," Ayako replied with a frown. "We in the village are the lightning in the cloud. The lightning at the bottom are our goals. As shinobi and as a village. On our way to achieving our goals, we will run into obstacles. Instead of giving up and going home, we find another route. And another route. Until finally we achieve our goal and light up the sky."

I cupped my masked chin in thought.

"And we, as shinobi and as a village don't stop," She gave me a steely glare. "For _anyone_. Because we are all capable of lighting up the sky like a strike of lightning."

A philosophy dedicated to absolute determination.

I can honestly say that pre-Charisma me would've vastly preferred being in Hidden Cloud village to Hidden Leaf if it wasn't for Naruto and the rest of my friends.

"Does that make sense?" She asked with a frown.

"It makes perfect sense," I replied with a nod. "Thank you."

Takeo began to stir, groaning and trying to sit up.

"Well, you three have a safe night," I said standing up.

"Wait," Ayako stood up, her hand outstretched. "…maybe you could come to the village with us? We could use someone like you."

"Nah," I said with a smile beneath my henged mask. "I value my independence too much."

She looked a little disappointed. "Then…be safe."

"Always," I replied right before I jumped off the mountain.

On the way down, I circled the mountain until I was out of sight of her. Then I dropped my henge and FTG'd my way back to the vault.

As far as my exits to the vault go, that was fairly smooth and organic. The steel walls and sterile environment felt more like home to me than ever and that, honestly, seemed a little bit depressing. But home is where the heart is.

Honestly, the Will of Lightning kind of explains why they thought it was a good idea to try to abduct Hinata during peace talks – the potential for peace was just another obstacle to overcome. That's also depressing and explains why they've been such a pernicious foe to Konoha. Konoha wants to stop the conquest and bloodshed and by their very nature and culture, Kumo absolutely cannot abide that.

But does Konoha as a whole really want to stop the wars with anything other than total victory? Naruto does. My friends do, I think. Well, maybe not. Conditioning to fight against the other villages for your countrymen begins in the academy.

The world honestly does suck.

Why does everything seem to be getting more and more hopeless the more I learn? I was hoping to find the _solution_ in this pilgrimage but I'm no closer than to it now then to when I started.

I'll still look into the Hidden Mist Village just in case there's something I'm missing, but I don't think the solution to the worlds problems is in the Hidden Villages. At all.

But right now, let's take a break.

In my office of the vault, beside my desk was a weapon-rack. It was ornamentally fashioned and on it was my gun. I had long since stripped it of it's seals, and it sat there, mounted on my wall as both a souvenir and a reminder. A reminder of how when I first made the thing, my first thought was joy that it could kill _me_. It was the perfect culmination of just how wrong my perspective was back then.

But here I am, having just come back from a bloody engagement with a pack of wild animals. Thugs and bandits won't back down and there will be a time when I won't be able to just leave justice to proper authorities. But only because, here? In this world? In this day and age? There often _aren't_ any proper authorities to hand it off too.

That's normally why and how most gangs and posse's got started in my old world; there was no other way to make sure that justice was done. Sometimes that duty is going to fall to me. I don't like it, but I think I should get ahead of it.

But let's think about it for a second. Am I only thinking this way because I've started to miss when my problems could be solved by punching harder? Well, maybe. But is the logic flawed somehow?

No, it isn't. But that doesn't mean a lethal solution is always the only solution. I've learned that quite well.

So instead of taking up the gun again, let's make a new one. Upgrade it. I've got access to a lot more elemental releases so I can make it look like an actual gun, not just a mangled kunai. Something that actually looks like a weapon you could use. Besides, I was always a huge fan of _That Gun_ from New Vegas.

Getting started, I knew I wanted a sleek, black grip. So it was fairly simple to just 'solid release' one into existence. Next came the frame to hold the cylinder. I had made the first weapon, symbolically, to be a revolver simply because I thought revolvers were cool.

I've had some time to think about it, and I think that limiting myself to six shots, even if they did each 'recharge' individually, just to give tribute to one of my favorite class of weapons. No. I mean, the recharge idea itself was a pretty good idea, but the design itself needed to be streamlined.

So, next let's make the cylinder.

Because revolvers only fire one shot at a time, with each squeeze of a trigger, they are considered semi-automatic. Almost all modern-day weapons of my old world fell into either the semi-automatic or fully automatic category. I'd like to conserve my chakra since all of my defenses rely on my having at least some chakra to work with.

Hm. The seal work is going to have to be super compressed to get the effect I want. I already wanted the cylinder to have hollow spots to make for more surface area but maybe having bullet shaped 'inserts' that were hollow would also be good for the actual 'damage' part of the weapon.

I'm not making an assault rifle, so space is at a premium. Plus, I don't need the ability to switch between semi-automatic and fully-automatic. So yeah. Space. Let's start to make the barrel now. Actually, having a barrel inside the barrel for more surface area for the seal might be good.

You know, thinking about assault rifles got me to thinking. I remember my favorite weapon from Battlefield 2 was the F2000, which had the ability to alternate between a submachine and a grenade launcher. It was just about the coolest thing ever in my mind. Actually, I don't think that was an assault rifle since, in the game, you couldn't switch between firing modes and you have to be able to switch for it to count. I do know that the AR-15 or ArmaLite Rifle 15 was _not_ an assault rifle since it was only semi-automatic. At least I think, I've really only seen one once and it was a long time ago.

The reason I'm thinking about this is because…maybe I can make this pistol look like a _compressed_ F2000 or AR-15. Like, use some of the design aesthetic for that weapon here in my weapon. I liked the aesthetic of both…hm. The F2000 wins out for nostalgia points. Having the barrel(s) sticking out of the front might be good for my surface area…hm.

Okay. Now for the inserts.

The cylinder was made with Three large holes in it and it fit smoothly onto the pin and snapping easily into the frame. The inserts were quickly made, shaped like shot cartridges with several rings of metal fit inside. I made three. It should be enough area for it.

Let's get the gun ready.

The seals for my previous gun took no effort to recreate. Improving on them was a bit more of a challenge, but since this gun had significantly more surface area in it, it made it easier to breathe and make improvements. Once the rig for sending the line of chakra out was in place, augmented by space-release to fold the space the laser occupied to artificially extend its range, I got to work on the inserts.

The three 'bullets' each had a different function. One completely and nonlethally incapacitated the target, knocking them out for hours at a time. More reliable than punching them in the button, I'd say. The second was very much the traditional gun, puncturing and piercing anything in it's path.

The third bullet was something I was kind of proud of.

I remember playing Team Fortress 2 and sometimes I tried out the medic. I never liked it, but I've gone and put his healing beam here in bullet form – slamming a stimpacks into their bodies. Obviously, I was going to need to input some level of safety feature to make sure it absolutely was on the healing function when I was shooting my allies, if needed.

Let's test the weapon first.

I flushed the seals with a wave of chakra and noted, happily, that the small symbol for the First Aid Round on top of the barrel lit up red – a small cross in loving memory of the Red Cross. Awesome people who did awesome work.

Another wave of chakra to turn the cylinder and ready the next charge. This time the symbol, a blue symbol for the handicapped shined – a person on a wheelchair. The pistol wouldn't _permanently_ disable someone like was often the case for the handicapped, it would seriously inhibit their ability to do anything for a couple of hours.

Final wave of chakra and the orange symbol for lethal shined through, a Greek Omega symbol. This would do nicely.

For the final touch, let's install the safety mechanism. Just drill a hole here, create a pin, layer that pin with seals, lock in in place…okay. So to lock it, I just move it so that I can't switch fire settings. Place the safety on for the healing and I won't ever accidentally switch it to lethal while trying to heal someone.

I mean, given my chakra control, I don't think that'll happen but it never hurts to be prepared. If I get my head crippled again, I'll take a penalty to chakra control and all bets are off then.

Final safety measure: What are the rules of gun safety?

Number 1, keep the weapon pointed in a safe direction, number 2, always keep your finger off the trigger until you're ready to fire and number 3, always leave the weapon unloaded until it's time to use it.

Okay, my gun is ready.

It was sleek and black, curving up like a perfectly sloped hill. The cylinder was mounted near the back and spun sharply and easily. The grip felt good in my fingers and my finger slid into the trigger guard easily enough. Just a spark of chakra was all it took to fire the weapon.

Okay. Now I'm taking this with me to the Land of Water and I hope I won't need it. I probably will though, given what that place is.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Well, I had meant to place another scene here between Ino and her dad to contrast the scene between Hisako and her Mom but…it felt out of place. It's been two months since he had that talk with the two of them, so a scene like_ that _just would've felt wrong for what I wanted Ino's character to be at this time. I might have something next chapter, but…this felt like a good place to leave off._

 _Besides, the chapter was getting to long and I've learned from hard experience that people stop paying attention to the chapter once it starts getting to long._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _Thank you all for your continued support._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_

 _P.S: It has been brought to my attention that Revolvers are not counted as semi-automatic weapons because of how they operate. I considered changing Daisuke's narrative, but I won't. At the time of Daisuke's death, his only knowledge of guns was from video games and what he was able to infer. Even with 10 int, he wasn't able to piece together everything so he was going to make mistakes. I apologize for being accidentally misleading since I didn't do much research either, but I think Daisuke's mistake makes sense, so I'll leave it up._


	66. Around the World: Rivers of Blood

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _Quest Added: Rivers of Blood._

 _Search for Kirigakure's Records of the Great Shinobi Wars: (0/3)_

 _(Optional: Learn about the Mizukage's side of the civil war.)_

 _(Optional: Learn about the Resistance's side of the Civil War.)_

Finally, Bloody Mist.

The land of water was already a place I didn't like; it was a group of islands like Japan or Hawaii which, normally would be fine except that those places were surrounded by _ocean_. I hate the ocean. Death-dealing home of sharks, giant squids and who knows what else. The only reason I accompanied the Penguins out in the war was because there was a billion Penguins with me. I wasn't, you know, _alone_ in the deep, dank abyss like I was in the sewer.

…I mean, the sewer was great once I got _out_ of the water. But being in the sewage, surrounded by inky blackness with glowing bulbs of anglers telling me I was surrounded? No thanks.

The Village Hidden in the Mists reminded me somewhat of an early memory of Salinas, California. Layered over with a thick fog, green grass wafted in a cool breeze. It was very…pleasant. A good memory. Shame it's rivers usually run red.

The buildings were made of some kind of granite and seemed to be in a state of bad disrepair. Green moss grew out of the cracks of their cylindrical buildings and water dripped perpetually down the stone. Unlike the other villages, there were no civilians here which made sense. This civil war was bloody and I stopping it just climbed to the top of my to-do list.

…what, no quest for stopping the war? I guess first I'll need to pick a side.

First thing is first, create several invisible clones to get inside the Kage's office building and start searching for the archives. These guys _are_ at war, so the security would be stepped up – the information in that building had the potential to actually get one of the other nations involved and no one in Mist wants that.

Well, not right now. When one side gets desperate enough, they will search for allies and then Mist will become a vassal state, if not the sight of the next great Shinobi War. All it would take would be for Mist to have proof that Konoha had taken actions against Kumo during peace-time and it would be enough for the already militarizing Kumo to declare all-out War on Konoha which will bring Suna in and then…yeah. World war four.

Personally, I'd like to avoid that. That's what this whole trip is about.

As for me, let's-what's a member of the Akatsuki doing, meeting with the Mizukage? And why does the Mizukage not look that much older than myself?

I…vaguely remember him. Guy with an orange swirly mask. Supposedly the organizations charity case in taking in someone too stupid to live on their own? Did he always have Sharingan? And he's casting a Genjutsu on the Mizukage…wait.

Good call, clone. Dismissing yourself to let me know. I'm going to check this out personally.

I zipped over to the Mizukage's office and there was the Mizukage. Sand-colored hair, solid purple eyes. Behind him stood the Akatsuki member, black trench coat with clouds printed on it. From my vantage point, I could see a Sharingan-eye spinning behind his orange, twirling mask. The thing that was really setting off alarm bells was the two sets of chakra coursing through his body.

Time to go to work.

First order of business, adopt Henge. Stereotypical ninja costume, all black with no discernable markings. The use of jutsu causes the Akatsuki member's head to snap in my direction, so I am one hundred percent sure that I'm not dealing with a novice. Second, zip forward and apply a seal to the Mizukage. The kid falls asleep and more importantly, foreign chakra is shoved and locked out of his system.

Then I make another clone and that clone decloaks.

"So, who might you be?" My clone asked as I circled around the Akatsuki.

"Tobi is good boy," He replied instantly, sounding way too cheerful.

I moved to plant a fist in his back and explode out his internal organs. Imagine my surprise when my fist simply phased through the guy and he fell through the floor.

…okay, he can use space release. I can do that too.

 _TGP._

I named my patented walk-through-walls jutsu after Mira Nova's _Tangean Ghosting Powers_ , which I then immediately had to shorten in my head to an anagram, which is a good sign that I need to come up with another name for it. I'll do that after I'm done chasing after this _thing_.

Being able to see chakra thanks to chakra sense was the only reason I was able to follow Tobi. He phased through the floor, I flew after him, making sure to hop-skip and jump across the floor to avoid giving him the impression that I'm flying. Don't want to bust out that trump card until it's absolutely necessary.

No sliding, either.

He phased through the wall and led me into a blank room which I can only assume was used for interrogations or executions.

"Tobi is not a good boy," I explained, crouching down forward. "Putting the Mizukage under a Genjutsu is the opposite of good."

"But Mizukage is a bad, bad man!" Tobi said.

Either he really is an idiot, in which case he's doing this at the behest of someone else, or he's not an idiot and he's using this façade to taunt me. My gut says it's the latter. Let's act like I'm assuming the former to get his guard lowered while my clone space-proofs the room so he can't escape again. "Now who told you that?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!" He said. I could just _hear_ his tongue sticking out at me in the tone of his voice. Ugh. Well, whatever. This guy's biggest skillset is the ability to run away and that's been annulled.

I'm also curious as to how it's phasing through me since that means the chakra's not getting absorbed by my CDN. Question for later.

"I would like to know," I said with a nod. "That's why I'm asking."

"That's too bad!" He said to me, still sounding utterly silly.

Alright, I'm wasting my time. I need to take him out now so I can move onto other problems. Like Itachi. Seriously, where did this guy get a Sharingan, speaking of which? Also, I need to perform an autopsy to figure out what this duo-chakra he's got going on.

I zipped forward, he dodged to the left almost instantly. He retaliated with a right hook that I immediately parried and noted that it felt like parrying a _rocket_. Hard, fast and might've knocked me off my feet if I hadn't glued myself to the floor.

So, I stuck to the arm and it felt weird, clinging onto him in spite of his networks every effort to get me off. It wasn't normal chakra, I don't know what it was. Jump up, plant both of my feet into his stomach at full explosive force.

I marveled that he wasn't blown to giblets. He was, however, rapidly thrown and turned the entire wall into a crater upon impact. Immediately, I drew my pistol, set it to lethal and sent a round right through his head. It splattered on the wall as his corpse slid down in a mess of red and white matter.

 _Quest Completed: Rivers of Blood_.

 _Completed: Search for Kirigakure's Records of the Great Shinobi Wars: (3/3)_

 _Completed: (Optional: Learn about the Mizukage's side of the civil war.)_

 _Failed: (Optional: Learn about the Resistance's side of the Civil War.)_

Well, the failure is kind of annoying. Nothing stopping me from just finding out on my own, I guess, but I should've adjusted my schedule so I could complete the optional objective before the main one. Usually it just happened for me, but this time it didn't. I'll remember this.

As for the information,nothing new, really. Except that these guys had no knowledge of anyone named Ohara Rin, whom was reportedly kidnapped by Kiri forces and turned into the Jinchūriki for the three tails. That very Shinobi and teammate that Kakashi accidentally killed when she threw herself on his Chidori…

…my Sensei needs a hug. Not from me, from Naruto. Naruto gives good hugs. As opposed to hugs from Ino who makes me feel…well, dirty for getting excited by a twelve-year old.

I shook my head. Getting away from that was part of why I'm even on this quest. Don't even think about it. The official reason for the wars is because clans with Kekkei Genkai were considered potential traitors, propoganda'd into looking bad, and then executed. The real reason was because this idiot here was trying to destroy Kiri from within. For what reason, I don't know.

Well, whatever, it's time to get this guy out. Clone's lowering the space-proofing around this room so time to get this guy back to the Vault so I can start the autopsy.

 _Wait a minute, why isn't there a hole in his head?_

Then in a swirl of black energy he was gone from the sudden, stabbing pain going up my arm like I had just dipped it in molten steel, so was my _hand_.

 _Ninjutsu Partially Absorbed_.

 _-400 hp._

FRAGGINOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWSONOFA-WHERE'S MY HAND, WHERE'S MY HAND WHERE FRACK!

Immediately, I locked onto my hand I summoned it with a space-time jutsu. It was somewhere in the Land of Rain, I'll remember that later. But for now, I need to reattach my _hand._

Stupid…ah, there wasn't an impact so the damage didn't get redistributed and he managed to power through my chakra defense network by restricting contact with it to my hand – created a small surface area. Then he just played dead, waited for the defenses to go down _and_ waited for me to grab him so he could take something with him.

 _Medicine Check Success: 100/95._

Okay, can I still move my fingers? I can still move my fingers, not noticing any lag, good. I brought the blood I lost in their hideout back with the hand, I don't want them using it against me somehow.

Alright then. Just need to repair the gauntlet and I'll be good to go.

Well, I underestimated my opponent and paid the price for it. Tobi is _not_ as dumb as he seems and I'm going to need to be careful of him. Of all the Akatsuki, I have a strong feeling that _he_ is going to be my biggest problem.

I start chugging Nutriwater while I clean up the blood on the floor. With a few hand seals, I whipped up a few glass jars and placed the scraps of white matter still stuck in the wall and on the floor inside for study later.

Once those two tasks were done, made a trio of clones with the assignment of scouring the rest of the Land of Water and find the rebel headquarters to get their story. They disappeared and I rose up to the Mizukage's office to check on the guy.

He was still unconscious and he didn't look healthy. Being under a Genjutsu for such a long period of time would cause problems just because you're living with someone else's chakra influencing and directing yours. This would be like another case of what the curse seal did to Anko, only a lot more volatile since the person casting the jutsu clearly did not care to try to make sure the victim was at the very least stable.

I don't know what kind of person the Mizukage is and honestly, he'll be found by one of his Ninja later. So…I mean, okay. Let's just take a closer look at the guy.

Kneeling beside him, I sent a pulse of chakra through him to diagnose.

Hm. He _is_ stable right now and one of the Mizukage's shinobi is coming now. I need to get out of here.

My point of view shifted from the Mizukage's office to my vault _right_ as the office door flew open. Kind of an interesting effect, I hadn't really noticed the shift before now. It was always just instant.

Let's get this thing to the lab, I wanna see what it is.

* * *

I have no idea what it is.

Examining its cell structure through a microscope, I could come up with some preliminary observations. Introducing it to some fruit made from wood release caused it to grow. Exponentially. But most of it's growth came from interactions with the chakra within the fruit instead of the fruit itself.

Given how it was attached to a Shinobi, I have a few observations.

Number 1, it's clearly an organism capable of attaching to a host, much like a parasite, and take over them. It did it to chakra-enhanced fruit, I see no reason why it wouldn't do that to a Shinobi in of itself.

Number 2, I think it's safe to guess that this matter is intelligent. The blood-splatter in Kirigakure was a mix of white goop and grey matter, but the blob in front of me has no trace of the original fruit matter within it at all, which means it normally consumes what it comes in contact whole and is capable of deciding between being a parasite and a symbiote.

Number 3, Tobi is not just dangerous because he has space release but because he made this thing come to heel at his command, implanting it into himself to increase its strength and it _doesn't destroy him_. Either because it has decided not too out of a mutually beneficial relationship which I doubt, or because it can't. It can't because Tobi knows how to destroy it should it try. Perhaps some level of obedience training?

I looked at the blob of white goo, rippling inside it's jar, suspended in a saline solution. Its white skin seemed to bubble beneath the surface like it was shifting marbles around.

These samples have to be destroyed, no question about it. Chakra pulses through the walls of my Vault like nothing else and if it breaks free, it will feed and infest my home worse than any Zerg colony could…well, it might be able to come close, Zerg hives are pretty nasty all things considered…whatever.

Focus.

Just need to chart out this thing's genetic code. That way I've got something to come back too should I want to try to tackle this thing or make my own to increase my powerset. Eh, nix the 'making my own' idea, the risk of it spiraling out of control is massive.

 _Intelligence Check Success: 10/10._

 _Perception Check Success: 10/10._

Glad my stats are pulling their weight. But now I've got a headache and I need to sit down after I'm done writing this all down…alright, perfect. So glad I've got a jutsu for writing things down, makes things so much easier.

 _Encase._

With a few hand signs and an application of solid release, the jars of white goo were encased in a single, black orb which surface shined in the light of the vault above me.

 _Atomic Incinerator._

Fission Release jutsu which flooded the inside of the orb and annihilated anything inside. After dispelling the orb, I disposed of the radioactive ashes.

The clones popped and I got the rest of the story.

 _Quest Completed: Rivers of Blood._

 _Completed: (Optional: Learn about the Resistance's side of the Civil War.)_

Oh, it automatically updates if you do the optional part after the quest itself is finished. Good to know. As for their side, they figured out the Mizukage was being controlled and they were trying to take back the Land of Water from this foreign Shinobi.

Well, Tobi?

You're a powerful shinobi in control of a strange, symbiotic organism. You have space release, somehow, and you sneak into the office of a Kage to Genjutsu him into destroying his own county for reasons that are currently unknown.

Quite frankly, Tobi, you're the scariest thing I thing I've ever seen and I almost love you for it.

Because you're going to be the greatest final boss ever and I'm certain I won't feel bad about eliminating you in the name of righteous justice.

* * *

"So you haven't heard from him?" Ino asked Naruto, the two walking beside each other.

"I already told you," Naruto harrumphed, his hands held behind his head. "He's trying to find himself and he'll talk to me when he's ready. I haven't heard a thing."

"Alright," Ino sighed, looking to the side with a frown.

"You're still not over it, huh?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's not about that," Ino turned to glare at him. "He just had his whole world turned upside down. He should be with us, talking with his friends to help him through the adjustment."

"He'll talk when he's ready," Naruto shrugged.

"You said that already," Ino complained with an irritated snap. "It just feels like he's running away from it is all."

"Well, he kind of is," Naruto replied as they turned a corner and walked over a bridge, built over a stream. "He's taking a step back. I mean, come on, he just came from a place where he automatically failed at society no matter what he tried. There is no way that mindset is going to be easy to break from."

"I know," Ino grumbled, folding her arms and watching her feet as they stepped through the gate to the training grounds. "It's just…I don't know…I want to help."

Naruto took a breath and let it out. "Look, I get it. I wish I could be out there, seeing what he's seeing and talking with him about it, helping him get to that epiphany he's looking for. I do. But he wanted to go out alone. So, the best we can do is welcome him back with open arms."

"I guess," Ino replied.

"You're still not over it, huh?" Naruto asked again as they came to the entrance of training ground three.

"I'll get over it," Ino grumbled in annoyance.

"Sure, you will," Naruto said, eyebrow raising even higher. "Like you got over Sasuke the first dozen times he told you to get lost."

Ino facepalmed. "What's it going to take to convince you that I'm trying to actually change?"

Naruto hummed thoughtfully. "Time. Lots of time."

"Great," Ino sighed in disappointment.

Training ground three was filled with everyone that had survived the trip into the sewers. The various clan heirs, all sitting around in a circle.

"Glad you two could finally make it," Sasuke said from his spot on a rock, where he always sat. At first, the rock was outside the group. Then the group moved a little further back to include him more and he didn't move his seat.

"So, what were you talking about?" Sakura asked with a curious look.

"I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count," Kiba snarked from his spot, scratching behind Akamaru's ears.

"You must really miss him," Hinata said to Naruto as he sat down cross-legged next to her.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "I can't wait for him to get back and tell us everywhere he's been. He's got to be having all _kinds_ of crazy adventures."

"I'll bet," Shikamaru stirred from the grassy gnoll that he had been laying in. "You guys think he's still in the Land of Fire?"

"Nah," Sakura shook her head. "I'm betting he's left a long time ago just because infiltrating an enemy nation is a challenge."

"It wouldn't surprise me," Naruto muttered to himself. "Anyway, let's get to training!"

"Can it wait a few minutes?" Shikamaru asked with a groan. "I'm not ready to train."

"We've got graduation in a month!" Ino barked at him hotly. "We don't have time to rest, you can do that at home!"

"No, I can't," Shikamaru corrected, sluggishly standing up. "Mom's got things for me to do when we get home."

"You can rest after graduation?" Chouji offered helpfully.

"We'll be _ninja_ after graduation," Shikamaru replied with a frown. "You know how that goes. We'll all be dealing with S-class threats inside our own walls and rescuing whoever before our first week is out."

"Which is why we need to start training now," Sasuke said, standing up and stretching out. "So, we using clones or sparring with each other?"

"We might want to do both to cover our bases," Shino explained, an odd but familiar buzzing coming from within his coat. "Why? Because it's been a while since we've done this."

"Right!" Naruto grinned, growing more and excited. "So, I think we should go onto clones first then sparring partners after."

"Let's get to it!" Kiba said excitedly, Akamaru hopping off of his lap with an excited bark.

"Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

* * *

"That was a good kick," Sasuke said, offering his hand and pulling Naruto up. "Lots of power behind it, I'd just work on your aim. A few inches to the left and I might not've been able to parry."

"Thanks," Naruto grunted out. "Since when did you start sliding everywhere?"

"Since we were sparring with Senpai," Sasuke offered with a small, smug smile. "It's taken me a while to get the hang of it, but glad all that practice is paying off."

"I'll say it is," Naruto replied. "Is footwork easier or harder with it?"

"Harder until you get used to it," Sasuke explained with a nod. "Just because at first you need to keep track of the chakra and where it's going to get the hang of it."

"Makes sense," Naruto nodded in agreement.

Off on the edges of the training ground, the parents of the rookies all showed up to collect their kids.

"Alright, I think we're done for the day," Kiba announced. "See you tomorrow, guys!"

Everyone slowly bid farewell, going home with their parents. As the groups of people continued their conversation down the road, the two orphans remained in the training ground.

"So, Sasuke, can I ask you a question?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You just did," Sasuke replied with a straight face.

"Harhar," Naruto snarked back. "But seriously?"

"Sure," Sasuke said as the two started walking down the road themselves.

"Who, exactly, is it that you want to kill?" Naruto asked, causing Sasuke to freeze in place. "And why do you want him dead so bad?"

They stood there in the road for a minute before Naruto continued. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want too, I just figured that maybe you'd like to talk-"

"My brother," Sasuke finally said, cutting off Naruto's hurried, ranting apology. "I want to kill my brother."

Naruto kept quiet, though his eyes had grown wide.

"I want to kill my brother to avenge my clan," Sasuke continued, his voice straining and his fingers clenching into fists. "Itachi. He killed my clan. Every single man, woman and child."

"Why?" The word burst out of Naruto's lips.

"He said it was to test his strength," Sasuke answered quietly. "To prove to himself that he could kill them all. That he was better than them."

"I…wow," Naruto replied with the biggest frown anyone had ever seen on him. "I'm so sorry."

"Save your condolences," Sasuke retorted back. "You're helping by helping me train and I appreciate that."

Sasuke started walking forward, back toward the village while Naruto stayed rooted to the spot.

"Sasuke," Naruto called after him. "You need to talk to someone about this."

"I've talked about it enough," Sasuke replied, turning back to face his friend. "With you."

"Look, I've seen what problems like this turn into if they're not taken care of early," Naruto explained. "Daisuke turned into a blood-starved mission hound who got taken off missions because he was a danger to his team. I don't want to see you get that bad."

"I'm not Daisuke-senpai," Sasuke replied evenly. "I'm can actually learn from my mistakes."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you won't make any in the meantime," Naruto argued back. "Look, I'm not saying your brother doesn't need to go down. He does. But-"

"But what?" Sasuke asked, fully glaring at him now. "But maybe I don't need to try so hard? But maybe there's still some good in him? Believe me, Naruto, Itachi is not Daisuke. Itachi has to _die_."

"Again, not arguing that," Naruto responded with a glare of his own. "But I don't want to see him use your anger to get you to make a stupid mistake."

Sasuke pointed at Naruto and attempted to formulate a reply, but words had left him.

"I don't want him to add you to his pile of bodies by pissing you off," Naruto continued. "You see what I'm saying? He needs to go down, but if you want to beat him, you need to be as prepared as possible. That means being able to keep a cool head."

Sasuke's head tilted just slightly as he weighed Naruto's word in his head. "I…I don't-fine. _Fine_."

"Awesome!" Naruto grinned. "You won't regret this!"

"You've got someone in mind?" Sasuke asked with a groan.

"Only the best! Follow me!"

So, Naruto lead his hesitant friend through the village. The sun was starting to set in the distance and the heat began to give way to the cool evening breeze. Shop owners and house keepers were lighting paper lanterns that hung outside the doors.

When Sasuke caught sight of their destination, he groaned. "The ramen stand? Really?"

"Yes really," Naruto's smile didn't fade. "Come on, Ayame's the best."

"The ramen chef's _daughter_ ," Sasuke stopped short. "You know, I don't really think you've thought this through."

"She's helped me, Daisuke, Ino, a bunch of people out with problems," Naruto listed out on his fingers. "Come on, she's really good at this stuff."

Sasuke didn't move from his spot.

"Come on…" Naruto said, gesturing to the stand. "Please?"

Sasuke still didn't move. Until, finally, he huffed. "Fine."

They entered the stand, moving aside the flaps that barred entry. There, behind the counter was Ayame, adjusting the burners to keep the ramen a pleasant temperature as was he main duty.

Naruto raised his hand up in greeting. "Hey, Ayame!"

"Naruto! Sasuke! What can I do for the two of you?" Ayame asked with a pleasant smile for the two of them.

"Sasuke's got a problem that he wants to talk about," Naruto replied, sitting down in the nearest chair.

"Oh?" Ayame started, raising her eyebrow. "Alright, Sasuke. Let's hear it? Is it girl trouble?"

Sasuke groaned and gave Naruto a look. Naruto gestured him to sit down. "Naruto thought it would be a good idea to talk about the…Uchiha…um…The Uchiha Massacre with you."

Ayame stopped short. Then she hummed. "Here, let me get you both a bowl of the special. On the house. I think this'll be a long talk."

Sasuke reluctantly took a seat beside Naruto.

"You're Itachi's brother, right?" Ayame asked, scooping ramen into the bowls and topping them both.

Sasuke didn't answer immediately, even as the bowl and chopsticks were placed in front of him. "Yes. I am Itachi's brother."

"Did you know him, Ayame?" Naruto asked, picking up the sticks and breaking them. "Itadakimasu."

"He was in my academy class," Ayame replied with a sigh.

Both Naruto and Sasuke stopped short, both dripping from the noodles in Naruto's mouth.

"You knew Itachi?" Sasuke asked with a critical eye.

"You were a Ninja?" Naruto asked after hurriedly swallowing the noodles.

"Yes, I knew Itachi," Ayame replied. "He was the class ace, scoring perfect at everything then graduating in a single year. I dropped out after my first year when my Mom passed to help take care of the stand. Never looked back, to answer both of your questions."

"But you didn't _know_ him, know him," Sasuke asked, carefully picking up the sticks and splitting them.

"No, he and I weren't close," Ayame replied, turning around putting a box of ingredients in one of the cupboards mounted on the opposite wall. "He was polite, I guess. But that was it. I was as shocked as anyone to hear what he…did. But that's what you're here to talk about, right?"

"I suppose so," Sasuke replied defensively. "What do you want me to say, exactly?"

"Well, you could start by telling us your story," Ayame suggested. "What happened to _you_ on that night?"

Sasuke drummed his fingers on the counter, looking to the left and to the right. He took a deep breath and let it out. Then he took a mouthful of noodles to eat.

Naruto made to interject, but Ayame gestured for him not to.

Sasuke continued to chew his noodles. When he swallowed, he opened his mouth. "I was coming home from a long day of training. It was late, I was hoping my mother wouldn't be upset that I was out. I entered the compound and I just saw…bodies. Bodies everywhere. They had kunai and shuriken sticking out of them. Blood was everywhere and the smell was unbearable."

He had started to shake. Then he picked up his chopsticks and started to eat again. Naruto, having finished his bowl when Sasuke had started his story, simply cupped his chin in thought.

"So," Sasuke finished his bowl and stared into it's empty abyss. "I rushed home to find my parents. I found…that _man_ standing over their corpses. I asked him what happened. I just wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay. Instead, he…showed me."

"That man?" Ayame mouthed to Naruto.

"Itachi," Naruto mouthed back.

Ayame nodded in comprehension. "How did he show you?"

"Can I get something to drink?" Sasuke asked neutrally.

"Sure," Ayame said, turning to pour some water.

Sasuke immediately turned in his seat and made to get up.

"Sasuke, don't leave," Naruto said automatically.

"He doesn't have to stay or share anything if he doesn't want too, Naruto," Ayame replied, bringing the glass of water and placing it besides Sasuke's bowl. "But we are just trying to help, aren't we?"

"Yeah, totally," Naruto nodded vigorously. "That's all we're trying to do."

Sasuke turned back to the counter and downed the glass of water almost instantly. "He used a…technique. Tsukuyomi. It…sucks the victim into a dream world where the user forces the victim to see…anything. Thousands of times over, again and again. One day in the Tsukuyomi is less than a second inside. He used it to show me. Show me his murder. His Massacre."

He licked and smacked his lips as if they had suddenly gone dry. Ayame got him another glass of water and took the old one, putting it into the sink behind the counter.

"I saw him kill everyone. I saw it again…and again…and again," Sasuke continued, downing the second glass and then gripping it so hard it might've started to crack. "He told me, once all was said and done, that it was all to test his abilities."

"Thank goodness he didn't kill you," Naruto said quickly.

"He said I wasn't worth killing," Sasuke hurriedly wiped his eyes. "He said in order to get the strength to beat him, to obtain the power he had, I needed to hate him. Despise him with every fiber of my being…and I do. I really, really do."

Ayame hummed. "I have a few questions."

Sasuke waved it off. "Fine."

"My first would be, well, why would he encourage you to get strong enough to kill him?" Ayame asked bluntly, tapping her chin.

Sasuke was frozen for a second. "Because he wants me to actually test his abilities?"

"Because he wants you to test his abilities," Ayame repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know," Sasuke shrugged, his dark eyes uncharacteristically wide. "That's just what he did."

"Hm. The man who killed an entire clan, men, women _and_ children decides that his brother isn't worth killing and tells him to hate him and get stronger," Ayame reiterated, balancing a metaphorical story on one hand. "I that makes no sense to me."

"He's insane," Sasuke retorted with a frown, looking off behind him, then at his bowl. "It doesn't need to make sense."

"Hm. Fair enough, next question," Ayame began. "The massacre that he showed you. Obviously, no one can argue that it happened, but did it happen the way that he showed you?"

"How else would it have happened?" Sasuke blurted out suddenly.

"Well," Ayame started. "If I'm not mistaken, your brother showed you the massacre as him killing everyone with only token resistance at best, right?"

Sasuke paused for just a second. "Yeeeeees."

"Now, this was a clan of Ninja," Ayame continued with a thoughtful frown. "A clan of ninja with similar skills as him, though maybe not with the same level of quality. Many of whom were war veterans from the Third Shinobi War. Am I right about that?"

Sasuke turned the thought around in his head. "Yes, I think so."

"So you really think these war veterans would really go down with so little resistance?" Ayame asked with a frown.

"Itachi was faster. He was stronger," Sasuke insisted with a glare. "He _is_ faster and stronger."

"He was an extremely capable ninja, obviously," Ayame nodded. "But do you really think he'd show you if one of them gave him a challenge since he clearly wanted to, I don't know, scare you?"

Sasuke didn't answer.

Naruto made to say something again but Ayame stopped him with just a small shake of her head.

"Why are you asking these questions?" Sasuke asked finally. "It doesn't matter if someone gave him a fight or not, he still killed everyone and he still has to die."

"That much is true," Ayame nodded with certainty. "But the point is he might have been concealing the fact that he had help."

"He-he wouldn't have needed help," Sasuke shook his head. "There's no way. Itachi was the best Ninja of his generation."

"But was he capable of fighting an army by himself?" Ayame asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes," Sasuke retorted defiantly.

"Alright," Ayame shrugged. "You got time for one more question?"

"Last one," Sasuke growled.

"Just a simple one," Ayame started. "You got a plan for what you'll do _after_ you kill Itachi?"

"Rebuild my clan," Sasuke responded immediately. "Bring the Uchiha back."

"Okay, how are you going to do that?" Ayame asked with a raised eyebrow. "Are you seeing anyone right now? Or, were you thinking a political marriage?"

"I can't do that right now," Sasuke shook his head. "If I try that, Itachi will just take everything from me again. He made that clear the first time he took my family away from me."

"Perhaps not right now," Ayame replied with a nod. "But you should come up with a plan now so that when you succeed in avenging your clan, you're not caught short with no idea of what you're going to do. Does that make sense?"

Sasuke's face was now in a frown that seemed like it might never go away. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"Alright, well I'm glad I was able to help a little bit," Ayame said with a smile. "So anyway, we're going to start closing the stand, you boys want some for the road?"

"Yup!" Naruto answered immediately.

"I'm fine," Sasuke said, immediately walking out of the stand.

"Sasuke," Naruto made to chase after him.

"Naruto no," Ayame stopped him with a word. "Let him go."

"But…" Naruto looked at her. "We're just trying to help him."

"I think we helped him a lot," Ayame replied. "Gave him stuff to think about. At this point, it's up to him to decide what to do with it. If he takes any of it, fine, if he doesn't that's his decision. Alright?"

Naruto took a deep breath and let it out. "Yeah, okay. You need help cleaning up?"

"You know, I'd like that actually," Ayame answered. "Many hands makes light the work, after all."

"Is that from a book?" Naruto asked, hopping the counter.

"Eh, I heard Daisuke say it a few months ago while he was eating here," Ayame shrugged. "I really like it. Does he have a lot of those sayings?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "He's got a lot."

* * *

 _Author's Note: Some people have expressed concern about Daisuke not facing any challenges. Tobi, on the other hand, is very much a challenge to Daisuke. Due to the way that Daisuke's defenses work, he's vulnerable to telefrag and Tobi, as you all could see, used the possibility to troll him once his wound healed._

 _I appreciate the feedback many have given me, but I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that you don't need to tell_ me _that characters need conflict and trials to be interesting. I've been writing stories for over a decade, I know what makes an interesting story. Daisuke's trials and struggles haven't stopped, they're just changing form._

 _Shout out goes out to Makopaulo, thank you for your support and welcome to the circle of patrons. Sorry if this shout-out is a little late, I lost access to my e-mail for a few days there so I didn't a notification that you joined on. It's all fixed now, though._

 _Shout out also goes out to Super Patrons_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _You guys are the best, thank you for your continued support._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	67. Around the World: The Iron Rod

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

 _Quest Added: The Iron Rod._

 _Find the Land of Iron's Observations of the Great Ninja Wars: (0/3)._

 _(Optional: Find the Shogun's personal accounts: 0/5)._

As far as quests go, this one's been illuminating.

When I first started, I wanted to look into why the elemental nation's histories. I wanted to know if Suna wanted to kill their Daimyo for sending their business to Konoha, and they did, but it evolved past that. I wanted to find a way to stop the oncoming war.

With the discovery of the Akatsuki manipulating the Mizukage, the theory that I had that all the world wars are being engineered somehow went from 'conspiracy theory' to plausible. That's scary. Because it means that there is likely no way of working within the Hidden Village system to stop it because the gears of war are already turning, not just with the preparations going around, but because of their cultures and where the mind of the people is at.

Suna wants to take over Iwa for the resources. Iwa and Kumo both see Konoha as a nation to be conquered and its resources claimed. They will never, ever give up. Konoha sees itself as the wronged party in every great Shinobi war and so they'll happily move into next great war and spill countless amounts of blood with the approval of their own conscience.

A person's conscience can be a serious motivator.

I haven't found a way to stop it. If I just try to talk to the Hokage, the village elders, I can already feel the 'success not possible' charisma and speech checks slapping me in the face so hard they actually make my eyes bleed.

The Land of Iron, the land of the Samurai, the one place that is absolutely, truly outside of all the wars, might just be my last hope. It's a small city-state that sits on the Three Wolves summit, which was just three wolf's heads carved into the mountains somehow. I know from a book that I read during my academy days that there were also a series of villages throughout the mountain-range that did things like grow food and harvest lumber. I believe that the capital itself is self-sufficient somehow but beyond hunting animals, I don't see how it keeps itself fed at this altitude.

Actually, you know what? There's probably plants that do grow up this high that I'm unaware of, Konoha's library on growing plants was almost entirely focused on what grew within the Land of Fire.

Currently, I was flying around the mountains, under the upper maw of one of the wolves, taking in the sights. The fact that the three wolves hadn't collapsed under their own weight was awesome and I wanted to see it. That, and I wanted to get a look at the lay of the land and see if I can find a village or two, observe conditions, see how the Samurai govern themselves.

I mean, they're probably fairly mercenary in their dealings too. The rest of the world is. All of the Shinobi villages let problems fester until they get paid to deal with it, including Konoha. Scummy thing to do but that sort of thing happens when you're a monopoly and don't have to compete with anything.

A flare of chakra from down below stops me in my tracks. There's a fight going on.

I look downwards, turn on my binocular jutsu and see what the fight is. It's between a team of samurai and cat people.

Cat people.

Feline head, human torso, arms and legs, claws on their fingers and their feet was bent up like an actual cat's would have been. Their fur was black and short, covering a sleek physique. They also were wearing loin-cloths

Rakshasa? You know, the old Dungeons and Dragons term for cat-human people? I'll call them Rakshasa, though if they turn out to be shape-shifting sorcerers, I'll be surprised.

Anyway, I've found another vat of FEV rejects causing trouble in the mountains. Yay. Just got to find the lab and burn it.

…first, though, I should give a hand to the samurai down there. It'd be the decent thing to do.

I swoop down and take further stock of the situation.

Things weren't looking good for the samurai; a group of five were pinned against the stone wall with their blades out, glowing blue. One of them had their chakra-blade shaped into an axe, which was neat. Judging from the scars on the land and stone around them, it's been one heck of a fight. They were surrounded by the Rakshasa, who were roaring out like triumphant and vengeful lions.

By my count, that's eight.

Make two clones to jump in if things go south, line up the shot and…

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight headshots in a row. 100 Ranged Weapon Skill is like an aim-hack, I love it.

I touch-down and decloak in front of them. I was wearing my _Edgelord Bleedingrazor 9000_ armor, sans helmet and hitai-ate because I didn't want them to know I was from Konoha. For obvious reasons.

"So, it looks like you were all in a pickle," I told them with a raised eyebrow, holstering my pistol. "You guys alright?"

They didn't answer immediately, instead turning to face each other for a second. Perhaps they were speaking to themselves and their air-tight helmets muted their voices enough that I couldn't hear them?

The man in the center spoke up first. "Why are you hear, Ninja?"

"Right now, I'm here to save your lives," I answered with a shrug. "As for why I'm in the land of Iron, I'm travelling. Sight-seeing."

"Sight-seeing," The man in the center repeated. "Really. Well, I appreciate the assistance, but I suggest you leave."

"I would leave, but I'd like to help," I replied, holding my hands behind my back. "I've got a…vested interest in eliminating these things."

"And what might that vested interest be?" He asked. I could feel him squinting at me through the lenses of his mask.

"There's been things like this all over the elemental nations," I explained matter-of-factly. "Fish monsters in the Land of Fire, Birds in Lightning. I'm two for two in eliminating the problems there and I'd like to keep my record going."

"I see," The leader said, looking to his four comrades for a second before turning back to face me. "Where do these things come from?"

"Previous experience points to there being some kind of lab that they emerged from," I replied. "Vats full of green liquid. I don't know whose been setting them up, but if we want to purge this epidemic, we need to burn them."

…yeah, seriously. Who is setting up these labs? It might have been Orochimaru but the notes in his lab indicated that the FEV in his lab was his only sample and that it came out of nowhere.

"If you wish to help, then first we'll need to know your name and what village you come from," The leader explained quickly.

"I'd appreciate it if you introduced yourselves first," I argued with a smile. "I did save your lives, after all."

They stopped. The leader turned around again to speak and they were talking for several minutes. I started to fidget a little bit, get the edge off.

The Leader turned around. "Very well. I am Mifune, Shogun of the Land of Iron. Now who are you?"

Oooh. The Leader of the Land of Iron. To be honest or not to be honest.

…

My gut is telling me that I need to be honest here. I've got a _huge_ in here and being dishonest could ruin it, especially if he looks down on lies as much as my read of him tells me he does.

"Daisuke, Shimoda Daisuke," I replied with a smile. "I'm from Konohagakure, using my vacation to explore the elemental nations."

"I see," Mifune responded. "So, you are not here in any official capacity?"

"Nope," I shook my head.

He almost believed me. I got him to want to believe me, which is equally important. "Very well. If you want to help, you'll take point."

That's code for 'you first so if you try anything we can stab you in the back'. "Fair enough. Have you guys tracked them to their lair?"

"We did. They chased us out," Mifune explained with a growl on his voice.

Hm. Upset the mission's not going well

"On your order," I replied, seeing as 'lead the way' wouldn't be appropriate seeing as how he wanted me in front.

"The cave is up this path at the end of this canyon," Mifune explained pointing up the path. "Advance to the mouth and we'll form up there for a second offensive."

I nodded and took off. I quick glance behind me confirmed that they were following me rather than cutting to run, which I appreciated.

The canyon was tall, like a pair of massive walls that raised up to box us into long, long trap. It honestly reminded me of light cycle walls from the movie Tron. I loved Tron. Not so much the sequel or reboot that came out a few decades later, but the movie and the first-person shooter were pretty solid.

I shook my head.

Focus.

From the side a blur lunged at me. I planted my fist inside the fanged mouth of one of the Rakshasa, causing its head to explode. Wasn't that thing a rock just now? Great. These things can do jutsu, which makes them shape-shifting sorcerers.

Color me surprised.

Two more lunge from the right, I draw my pistol and end the two of them. The art of the quickdraw lives on in me!

At the end of the canyon was the opening of a cave, just like Mifune said. It was a small, round thing that stopped all light dead like it was a portal into the plane of darkness. Or it is plane of shadow?

Ugh, the nerd culture is really on my mind right now.

"On my mark, we head inside," Mifune began. "M-"

He stopped, and when I turned to look at him, he was talking to his subordinates. Not being able to hear the other side of this conversation was starting to irk me, but I suppose I'll hear that later. For now, we need to handle this infestation of cats.

"My Samurai want to know if you are capable of creating clones," Mifune began.

"…yes," I replied after a pause. I don't like where this is going. "I can create clones. Why?"

"Because they were hoping you could send in some as a forward guard," Mifune answered.

Awwwwwww, no! Really? That's so, so _boring_! They had a point but come on! "Yes, I can do that. You want me too?"

"I believe it would be prudent, yes," Mifune nodded. "Please make a squad of five to move in."

"Alright," I held in my sigh of disappointment. Flash through the seals, make five shine clones. I like those, they explode into a blinding flash of light and pretty colors when they die. "You guys know what to do."

They nodded and got to work.

Mifune wasn't talking, neither was the Samurai. So, I was just sitting, waiting for the clones to – you know what? Idea! Instead of making autonomous clones, I could make clones which I controlled utterly. Like puppets. So instead of sitting out here, being bored, I could be playing a Real Time Strategy game. I used to love those. Was never any good at them, but that might have changed now.

They wouldn't be clones, though, what would I call them-oh, they're done. That was quick.

"They're done," I said, letting my sigh of annoyance through because I just missed a _fantastic_ fight with things that could plan, use stealth tactics and could fight in melee with the best of them while still being the most savage animals I think I've ever seen. Rats.

"What do you mean they're done?" Mifune asked incredulously.

"The cats are dealt with," I replied. "They're all dead. Down to the last cub. Let's go examine, shall we? They found the lab, too."

"I was about to give the order to move in," Mifune explained, still incredulous.

"Care to go in and see?" I asked, gesturing into the cave.

He took a moment to speak to his subordinates, eyes never leaving me for a second. "Very well. Take point and dispel your clones."

They don't necessarily trust me, which is understandable. Still, the clones were dispelled, except for the two I had floating above me in case things go wrong. Mifune meant the clones in the cave, so I didn't feel too bad for leaving the two above alive and kicking.

"They dispelled themselves," I replied with a smile. "Let's move in."

The cave was a slaughter house. Rocks and been pulled, stalactites and stalagmites had been created to impale the cats on like Vlad the Impaler did to his enemies and criminals. Blood dripped down the stone. As we progressed further, the grisly scene continued and I guess my clones, actually fearing their demise because one hit equaled death, decided to get creative.

The Samurai behind me said nothing as we continued on.

Then we hit a solid stone wall, with the kanji for 'hazard' marked on the top.

"The cubs had fled into this room," I said, knocking the kanji with a knuckle. "My clones sealed them off and gassed them – relatively painless death. Better than their parents got, at least."

"I see," Mifune replied.

"They found the lab, it's just down that passage," I said, pointing to an opening that had a sharp turn to the right. "Shall we go see what's inside for ourselves?"

"Take point," Mifune insisted.

"You got it," I replied, doing so.

The lab…wasn't. It wasn't a lab. It was just a small room with six large, glass vats that had been broken. It was just a growing facility, as small and bare-bones as you could get. Interestingly, the floor and walls were metal. Not the 'fake metal' that I grew for my vault but actual, real metal. Most structures underground were made of earth release simply because of how easy it was to construct with a jutsu. Pipes, like the type you saw in sewers, required a craftsman to craft and could be very, very expensive.

"So, did anyone bring explosives?" I asked, putting my hands in my pockets.

"We didn't realize there was a lab we would need to destroy," Mifune explained with a thoughtful tone to his voice. "We thought it was simply a nest of pests that we would need to exterminate, though this goes a long way to explaining where they came from."

"These things must've been a huge problem, huh?" I continued my questions. "To get the Shogun himself to come out to deal with the problem."

"One of my top generals was mauled by these monsters in transit from his home to the capital," Mifune explained. "I decided to come make an example of these beasts. I didn't realize how over our heads we were until they jumped out at us from all sides."

I find it interesting that the cats gave the Samurai trouble. The Anglers didn't give me much trouble in the sewers, the harpies even less. The bloodworms were so simple to deal with, speaking of otherwise alien creatures that make no sense. But the cats?

Well, they made my clones actually have to _fight_. I mean, in Konoha they were there solely to be popped, but these guys weren't to be popped at all. They were fast, clever and could cleave through stone with their claws.

To sum up my thoughts, the cats were significantly higher level than the other set of creatures that appeared out of nowhere, and I'd like to know why.

"Hm. Well, I can make some explosives and destroy the lab here, if that's agreeable," I offered with a wave of my hand. "That way none of us have to come back here again."

"Do it, Ninja," Mifune said with a nod.

First, make a set of bricks out of the cave behind us. Then I brought them up to me, wrote seals on them and scattered them throughout the lab. "Alright, they're set to blow on your order."

Normally, I'd just tell them all to clear out and blow it, but I'm trying to demonstrate a willingness to cooperate. This is also his mission, so I'm letting the Shogun call the shots.

"Move out," He said and we did so.

As soon as we cleared the cave, I detonated the blocks, causing the mountain to shake. A quick look up confirmed there was no avalanche coming our way, thankfully.

"Mission complete," I said happily. "Question, is this mission a contract?"

"A contract?" Mifune repeated.

"I mean, I know you said that you're out here because a general got mauled, but is someone paying you samurai to be out here?" I continued. I don't believe the Samurai were mercenaries the same way the Hidden Villages were, but I wanted to be sure.

He took a second to respond. "We aren't mercenaries like Shinobi are. Our people pay taxes, they deserve our protection."

"That's _awesome_ ," I said that and I meant it. Protecting the people is the government's _job_. Well, one of its job. "It's always annoyed me that sometimes shinobi let situations boil over so people get desperate enough to hire them."

He took a moment to respond. "I see."

While he responded to his subordinates, I took the time to dispel the other two clones. I think he's trying to figure out what, exactly, I want. Which isn't too hard. I want to know what makes the Land of Iron tick and I want to know what they know about the last few Shinobi wars.

"Shimoda, what is it that you want?" Mifune asked. "Shinobi don't do anything for free."

"I'm glad you asked," I said with a smile. "I've been going around the Elemental nations to examine the records that the other villages have to say about the first three great Shinobi wars. There's another one coming and I want to stop it."

"You're rather young to be interested in global peace," Mifune responded doubtfully. "Children your age-"

"DON'T CALL ME A-"

He stopped because of my outburst and the other two immediately assumed combat positions.

I took a breath. "I apologize for my outburst, but please don't call me a child. I really, really don't like being called a child."

"Fair enough," Mifune replied. "Ninja your age are usually so enamored with their village they want to take over the world for it."

I scoffed. "Yeah, well. I'm not average by any means. If a war breaks out, my friends could die in the line of duty, plus all the bloodshed besides. That's not something I'm okay with."

"Huh," Mifune said. "So what is it you want from the Land of Iron? We have not been involved in your wars, our neutrality has been carefully maintained."

"That doesn't mean that you're ignorant of what's been going on," I replied with a frown. "You had to have at least been keeping a small eye on the wars, figuring out if the fighting would ever enter your territory."

"You want our old surveillance reports?" Mifune asked, trying to clarify.

"As well as anything you've got from internal spies in the villages," I continued. "I won't pretend that Konoha is exempt or is sinless in any of the Great Shinobi war, so I need to know if I missed anything that wasn't necessarily kept in their archives."

"We can provide you with our old surveillance reports," Mifune replied. "As payment for your service today."

They still don't quite trust me. That's fine.

"We'll need to blindfold you before we take you inside the village, though," Mifune explained, somewhat hoping that the threat of going into a new situation blind would deter me.

I'm sending in a clone and swapping with it if it turns out these guys are on the up and up.

* * *

Alright, so they're on the up and up. Huh.

The clone I swapped out en-route to the Village was blindfolded about half-way through the journey. He was then escorted through a dangerous, perilous pass and came close to slipping several times. Then he was let in and taken straight to a quiet and out of the way office and had the blindfold taken off. Then the records were presented and I read them.

 _Quest Complete: The Iron Rod._

 _Completed: Find the Land of Iron's Observations of the Great Ninja Wars: (3/3)._

 _Completed: (Optional: Find the Shogun's personal accounts: 5/5)._

 _Quest Complete: Around the World._

 _Completed: Complete The Iron Rod in the Land of Iron._

 _Bum-bum-bum-Bum!_

 _ **Level Up!**_

Oh. Level 33. Fun. Throw some skill points here, there, everywhere.

Using a clone to move through the Shogun's personal accounts revealed…not much. I mean, internal politics, fears about the oncoming war being the one to wipe humanity off of the elemental nations, stuff like that. Nothing really surprising or things I didn't know. They've even picked up the idea that the conflicts between the Ninja are being engineered.

What this information means I'll go over when I get back to the vault. For right now, however, I've got to talk with Mifune because there's been something I've been curious about.

"Thank you, this is all I needed," I said, closing the records and placing my hands in my lap. "There was something I was curious about?"

"If you're going to ask that we ally with Konoha for the upcoming war, the answer is no," Mifune stated matter-of-factly. Now outside of his armor, I saw that his hair was gray and that he had a fu-man-chu mustache. His eyes held a steady focus on anything he was looking at like they were being "Our neutrality is the only reason I've survived."

"No, I had no illusions that you'd want to join the war," I shook my head, slowly standing up, pushing the wooden chair I was sitting in away as I did. "Again, I want to prevent the war. My question is simple; what's Ninshū?"

It was a concept I was first introduced to back in the academy. I was never actually taught what it was, just that it was a doctrine of some kind that the Samurai held and was the reason the Samurai were so small and irrelevant in national politics.

"What is Ninshū?" Mifune repeated my question. "I'm surprised you've even heard of the concept."

"It was an offhand mention back in the academy," I replied with a shrug. "Mentioned it was a kind of doctrine you held too, but not explained. I'd like to know what it is."

"Ninshū is the believe of all Samurai," Mifune started, beginning to go into lecture mode. "It is the belief that Chakra is not meant for war, but for the connection of all people. To connect them in a spiritual way to both themselves and others, for understanding and peace."

"Tell me more," I urged him to continue, sitting back down.

"You are aware of Hagoromo, yes?" Mifune asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The Sage of the Six paths?" I asked with a raised eyebrow to match his. "Who isn't aware of him?"

"He created the Ninja world by spreading his chakra to everyone, any and all," Mifune continued to explain. "He was the founder ofNinshū and sought that everyone could use chakra to connect to themselves, to understand themselves. To connect to others so they could understand them without communication and pray for their safety."

Sounds like a great way to implement a hivemind if it's twisted for nefarious purposes. As it stands, the ability to understand oneself and communicate that with others and in turn have them understand you without speaking or…needing a Charisma check.

Huh.

"You say connect to everyone," I began my question with that statement. "That means he wanted everyone to use chakra?"

"That's what I said, yes," Mifune nodded.

"Everyone," I repeated with a sweeping gesture.

"Yes," He nodded again.

"Absolutely everyone," I asked again.

" _Yes,_ everyone," He narrowed his eyes in irritation.

"Wow," I said, sitting up straight with my eyes somewhat popping out of their sockets. "That's…amazing."

"I'm surprised you would think that," Mifune stated. "Forgive me for saying so, but Ninja, by and large, hoard secrets like miser hoards ryo."

"I've never really liked secrets," It was true. As much as I hold in my status as a reincarnate, I cherished the one time I was able to share that secret with a Penguin who…used chakra exactly as described by Mifune. Wow. "Everything that I can do can be done by someone else with enough skill and practice. I want to spread it everywhere. So, everyone knows it."

"What use would the common man have for ninjutsu?" Mifune asked with a frown.

"Give me an occupation," I said.

"Oh, uh…farmer," Mifune offered.

"Earth Release to till the fields, fire release to kill the weeds and cook meals, water release to water the crops, wind release help harvest by cutting the fruit from the vine and lightning release to kill rodents and pests that hide underground," I rattled off quickly. "Ninjutsu is more about understanding the land than each other, I'd say. So, I think everyone could use both Jutsu and Ninshū."

"I…haven't looked at it that way before," Mifune responded with a surprised blink. "Huh."

"Mifune-sama…do you think I could come back here?" I asked with a smile. "I'd love to learn more about Ninshū and how it works."

Mifune cupped his chin, stroking his chin-beard thoughtfully for several moments. He was likely considering what his generals would say, his sons, his wife, what the reaction would be if they willingly allowed a Shinobi from Konoha to return to their small, isolationist kingdom.

"Very well," Mifune finally agreed, folding his arms. "But only because you saved my life and the lives of my fellows."

"Awesome," I said standing up. "Say, am I allowed to just leave or am I going to be escorted out?"

"I will have an escort for you," Mifune answered. "Go in peace, Shimoda."

We traded bows and I was escorted from the village.

The Land of Iron's snowcapped, onyx-made buildings were so jarringly different from my vaults grey, steel-wood walls it actually took me a minute to process the change.

It was just…weird.

But I think I've finally found the answer to my dilemma.

The Land of Iron was neutral. They didn't want global war any more than I did and what's more, they had no skin or money in the fight. The Samurai likely have their own demons, corruption, etc. But their layout, their neutrality in the politics of the Elemental Nations and the fact that they don't just leave problems to fester for profit…they're ideal. Or at least as close to ideal as I'm ever going to get in this screwed up world.

That Ninshū though! I never thought I'd see anything like that in this world! A world filled with secrets and backstabbing super soldiers, and there's a small pocket of people that believe that everyone should be able to use chakra. Even if they exclude jutsu, there's so much that super strength, speed and wall-walking can do to benefit the common man, all things they use! Cat stuck in a tree? Little Lucy can just walk up the tree and get it. Then jump down the fifteen foot drop completely unharmed when Mom calls her for dinner!

This is the first time I've been truly excited since I got Almost Perfect and this isn't underlined by a vague sense of dread. I've found my medium to deliver the solution. I'm not stuck with a village motivated by righteous judgement to smash all other villages and bring them to heel.

…and suddenly that vague sense of dread hit me.

What am I going to tell Naruto? Kakashi? Anko? Nichiren? Ino?

'I'm sorry, pal. But there's a war coming that I'd like to stop and Konoha's one of the biggest offenders. I can't stick with this, sorry'? Well, obviously I'd need to lead him through the thought process to get him to understand. Get them to understand.

In essence, though…yeah. That is exactly what I'm going to say to them.

But the indoctrination in the village system is really, really strong. They might understand it but be so completely unable to accept it that I'll make enemies out of the people I considered friends for life. They _will_ hate me. Everyone except Naruto will consider me a traitor of the highest order without any sympathetic reason for doing so like Sasuke in canon. Naruto will hunt me for the rest of my days, trying to get me to come back to the village at any cost.

Is that all worth it?

If it keeps them from being casualties of the next great war, then yes. Yes, it is.

I really don't _want_ to though.

…my life has been hamstrung way too much by not doing things that I don't want to do. No, I can use the Land of Iron to stop the oncoming war, break the informational stranglehold the villages have on each of their respective lands and force the villages to adapt a peaceful way of life or wind up financially ruined. That's the strategy.

But first I have to come up with a plan. A real plan, something I can pitch to Mifune to get him to go along with it. With steps, contingencies and backup plans. Put this massive set of Barter points to use.

Let's see, what other tools can I use?

…Gaara owes me a favor…

* * *

 _Author's Notes: We're starting to get into that endgame I talked about way back when in the authors notes for The Vault when I told everyone I was cutting you off here. As I had told everyone, I was not changing the plot but I hoped that by expanding on it, I could make it seem acceptable to you. Thank you, everyone for continuing to read this story, even if I've been less than pleasant to some of you, especially my critics._

 _I've taken a look at how I respond to critique in some cases and it…wasn't the best. If I felt the critique was fair I'd leave it up but if not, I'd outright block the person in question because of how fragile my ego was. In my defense, I've had to deal with the fandom that I built up around this story blow up not once, but twice. This does not excuse this behavior but rather provides context and explanation. I promise that I'll do better in the future._

 _Shout out goes out too Nex19, thank you for your contribution. Welcome to the circle of patrons._

 _Shout out also goes out too my Superpatrons_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _You guys are the best, thank you for your continued support._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	68. Interlude: New Beginnings

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

"Do you allow everyone in the Land of Iron to learn Ninshū, or just the Samurai?" Daisuke asked, bright eyed and grinning as he placed yet another book to the side after having flipped through it at a pace Mifune thought ridiculous.

"Everyone," Mifune answered truthfully with a slow and careful nod. "Though only the Samurai are trained for war."

Daisuke hummed and his eyes squinted in thought. "Have you thought about trying to spread it outside the Land of Iron?"

"The topic has come up occasionally," Mifune explained neutrally. In truth, trying to spread the ways of Ninshū outside of the Land of Iron was nothing more than a pipedream. "But so long as the Hidden Villages and the Daimyo are working in tandem to suppress such learning inside their borders, I'm afraid it won't be possible."

"I haven't done as much research into the topic as perhaps I should've," Daisuke said, turning in his chair to face the Shogun. "I knew it was forbidden to learn about chakra outside of the village, but I didn't know that it was the Daimyo's lawmen cracking down on the idea."

"How did you think they enforced the law?" Mifune asked with a raised eyebrow.

Daisuke shrugged. "I didn't think about it, honestly. I've had other things on my mind."

"So now that you've learned about Ninshu, why are you here?" Mifune asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You want to spread Ninshu everywhere," Daisuke explained. "I want to help you do it."

"If we were to start expanding, we would risk war with the Shinobi villages," Mifune explained emphatically. "We might have superior soldiers, but we do not have the resources to withstand a war against five major nations."

"F-uh…" Daisuke began before catching himself. "I see your point."

"What were you going to say?" Mifune asked as his eyes narrowed.

Daisuke almost covered up his wince. "That you'd really only have to go to war with four nations, not five. Kirigakure is an absolute bloody mess thanks to the civil war. It's a stupid thing to point out though, since your point still stands."

"I see," Mifune responded. "I wasn't aware of that, thank you for sharing."

"No problem," Daisuke nodded. "But you're point still stands and I'd like to help you guys figure out a way around that."

Mifune shifted his mustache to the left and to the right. "Why?"

"Why not?" Daisuke asked with a frown.

"Why not? You coming to us and offering to help us subvert the law of your homeland is treason," Mifune explained evenly. "This is after you showed at the exact right time to save us from certain death with an almost trivial amount of effort."

The young man said nothing, looking at Mifune like he was waiting for him to continue.

So he did. "Certain death that grew in a lab. Creatures that were faster, stronger and more devious than anything I've seen before in a wild animal and you beat them with almost no effort. You say you've seen the labs creatures like this have grown in. Do you see my problem?"

Daisuke made to say something, starting to point, then his mouth glued shut. Finally, he said quietly. "Yeah, I can see why that's very suspicious."

"So, answer my question then," Mifune said, only barely holding back his glare. "Why are you trying to do this?"

Daisuke stayed quiet, looking up, then down, then to the sides. "Alright, I'll explain why as best I can. I've got a bunch of reasons to turn on Konoha, some general, some personal, others miscellaneous. If you want to hear them."

"I've got all day," Mifune explained.

"Well, the first reason is that the Elemental Nations are headed toward war. This is the fourth one in a row," Daisuke began, placing his hands together. "The wheels are already turning, the people are turning into sharks that smell blood in the water. Unless someone gets in the way and stops it or turns it in another direction, we're going to another blood bath and this one is going to be worse. If this continues, humanity will go extinct. We don't want this."

"A noble goal," Mifune nodded. "But that's not the only one."

"Descending on the road from noble, there's the case that the Hidden Villages, each of them, don't handle any problems until they're paid to," Daisuke said with a frown. "I want to arm the general populace, the civilians, so that they can defend themselves and they won't have to spend an exorbitant amount of money just so they could get a criminal infestation taken care of."

"They don't get involved until they get hired as a result of the treaties that allowed the formation of the villages in the first place," Mifune objected. "That was one of the terms."

Daisuke scoffed. "If the village really cared, they'd renegotiate the treaty. Not like the Daimyo could object either, they've got almost all the military power in the Land of Fire His most trusted bodyguards all come from the village and they know where their loyalties lie."

"Have you suggested that they renegotiate?" Mifune asked with a raised eyebrow.

Daisuke paused for a second to answer. "…no. But they won't."

"How can you be sure?" Mifune asked with a frown.

"Well, for one that would be asking the village to renegotiate the deal to let them take on free work," Daisuke responded. "Which would end up with them either doing work for nothing or doing work that winds up killing a fairly good paying mission down the line. If we negotiate for a cut of the taxes for the work being done, the money they'd take in would overall be less. We're talking a constant flow of income between D and C rank for what might turn out to be an A or S rank. Otherwise, the Daimyo would go broke and the Land of Fire would see ruin. Right now, it's stable. Really bad, but stable."

"I see," Mifune replied. "And you think that the spread of Ninshu would alleviate this problem."

"Oh, I know it will," Daisuke nodded. "Think of it like this – a predatory animal will fight but can be fought off. A herbivore will fight as if it's life depends on it every single time. Because it does. The predator is any criminal who parasites off of people who live legitimately. The Herbivore is the person who lives legitimately. It'd work especially well if the towns organize their own town guard, but I'm getting ahead of myself."

"You'd be arming each village against their Daimyo," Mifune stated incredulously, to Daisuke's annoyed sigh. "There is no way any Daimyo would go for this."

"Of course, they wouldn't," Daisuke replied with a neutral expression. "It's much easier to hold onto power when your subjects can't meaningfully protest injustices in their court. That's why both the Kage _and_ the Daimyo agree that chakra should not be spread outside the villages. The Kage don't want competitors getting root in their land, the Daimyo don't want their subjects armed, essentially."

"So, you wish for war with the Daimyo," Mifune asked with a probing gaze.

"No, that's the exact opposite of what I want," Daisuke's eyes narrowed to match. "I want to make their current system of government obsolete."

"Which will cause war," Mifune stated with a frown. "You say you don't want war, but that will cause it. The Land of Iron will not jump into a war with the Elemental Nations to support a pipe dream. We are neutral. It is how we have survived."

"It won't cause war, I can promise you that," Daisuke said with a placating gesture.

"How do you figure that?" Mifune asked with a raised eyebrow.

Daisuke made to speak again but stopped. "You know, let me get back to you on that."

"I would rather we drop the subject entirely," Mifune grumbled with a raised eyebrow. "Now, if you really wanted to help us, you could join us. You are very capable, you know how Shinobi operate and you've already saved my life once. There will not be any objection."

"A tempting offer," Daisuke replied, pressing his lips into a line. "But I'm not switching countries until you've got a plan you can act on to spread Ninshū to the world."

"I'm afraid that's impossible," Mifune sighed. "The current climate of the elemental nations has made this impossible. The only reason they haven't marched on the Land of Iron en masse is because we're not a threat to them, militarily, economically or socially."

"But don't you want to see the day where Iron doesn't need to worry or fear that the Shinobi just up and decide to roll them over with superior numbers and dishonorable tactics?" Daisuke asked with pleading eyes. "Don't you want to spread what you've got to the world?"

"Of course, I do," Mifune replied with a sad frown. "But we don't have the manpower to even come close to deterring them should we begin to look like a threat. The only thing we have is our reputation."

"It's a pretty fierce reputation," Daisuke replied thoughtfully. "Alright, I'll be back with an answer to your question."

He looked like he was about to do something, then stopped it. "Er…sorry, I forgot you didn't want me to just teleport in and out like I do back at the village."

"Thank you for remembering," Mifune replied, holding back a sigh.

* * *

"Naruto-kun?" Sakura began, walking up to him.

"Huh?" Naruto dropped his stance. He was sparring with a clone, who also dropped his stance. He was standing in training ground three, practicing and training as had become his ritual. "What is it Sakura?"

"Well…" She began, eyes going off to the side, her toes flexing and disturbing the dirt beneath her feet. "I need you to stop being so hard on Ino-chan."

"Why?" Naruto and his clone asked immediately. With a flash of irritation, Naruto dismissed the clone. "I don't trust her."

"I know you don't," Sakura closed her eyes and her brow started twitching in annoyance. "But that doesn't mean you have to watch her like she might turn into a snake at any second."

"I don't look at her like that," Naruto glared at her.

"Yes, you do," Sakura sighed in annoyance. "It's getting annoying. How is she supposed to prove she's changed, and she has, if you won't ever give her a chance?"

"I am giving her a chance," Naruto objected, folding his arms. "I'm just watching her carefully so that if she screws up, I can call her out on it."

"You mean you're waiting for her to make a small mistake so you can justify your treatment of her," Sakura corrected, similarly folding her arms. "She wasn't ever a bully, Naruto."

"Yes, she was," Naruto grumbled, looking to the side. "She called you 'Billboard Brow all the time. Making fun of your pretty forehead wasn't cool."

"And I called her 'Ino-pig' in return," Sakura explained with a small frown. "It wasn't bullying, Naruto. It was a rivalry. Mutual competition. It wasn't healthy at all for either of us and we stopped our friendship over it, but it wasn't like I was some poor abused victim or anything."

"I never thought you were," Naruto replied quietly, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. "I just…you know, thought it was a scummy thing to do to suddenly turn on you when you had been friends forever."

"That was our choice," Sakura explained. "We both agreed to stop our friendship to fight over Sasuke. Did you really think she had stabbed me in the back?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"Well, that explains a lot," Sakura sighed. "Well, she didn't and we're friends again. Now can you stop being…"

"Yeah, I guess so," Naruto grumbled, looking at the dirt. "…I kind of owe her an apology, don't I?"

"I think it'd be a good start," Sakura answered with a nod.

"Oh boy," Naruto said, kicking the dirt. "Alright, I'll take care of it today."

"Thank you," Sakura said with a relieved smile. "She'll be so glad to hear it."

"Yeah…hey, by the way," Naruto started. "I wanted to say thank you for tutoring me in Chakra Control. You know, before we all got abducted by fish people in the sewers? It's really helped a lot."

"Huh? Oh, right!" Sakura's face lit up in recollection. "Yeah, I remember that. You're welcome."

"And I was wondering, you know…if you know, if you were still trying to date Sasuke," Naruto started quietly. "Because if…er…you know, I just wanted to know."

Sakura let out a long breath. "You still haven't given up, huh?"

"Nope!" Naruto said with a grin. "But, you know, I wanted to respect your decision, so I eased off."

"Well, to answer your question, I've learned that," Sakura let out another long breath. "Sasuke is un-dateable."

"Why is that?" Naruto asked, feigning surprise.

"He's just not interested. At all," Sakura explained with a depressed expression. "He just considers and kind of dating or even hanging out as a pointless distraction."

"Hm. I'm sorry to hear that," Naruto replied with a sympathetic frown.

"You already knew, huh?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "We talked a few days ago about his issues. He isn't going to be in the game for a long, long time."

"Why, what did he tell you?" Sakura asked, looking concerned.

"I'd _like_ to tell you," Naruto began. "But I can't. Wouldn't be right."

"Okay," Sakura deflated. "Well, at least he's starting to come out of his shell. Sort of."

"Yeah, it's a good thing," Naruto said with a smile. "So, uh, I don't want to sound like I'm just trying to catch you on the rebound, but…"

Sakura let out an annoyed and somewhat defeated sigh. "You are really persistent, you know that?"

"Just one date," Naruto said quickly. "Like a picnic or something. You're really smart and really pretty and that makes you awesome and I'd really like to get to know you better."

Sakura was quiet for a second. "When did you want to do this?"

"Next Saturday at noon," Naruto nodded quickly. "It'll be the best picnic ever. Believe it!"

"Alright," Sakura finally said. "Alright, I'll go on a picnic with you. Just this once, alright?"

"Yes!" Naruto's face lit up like he had just won the lottery, throwing his hands into the air with triumphant glee. "Wooo! Yeah-haha! Yes, yes, yes!"

"Now can you answer me one question?" Sakura asked, almost hiding her amused smile.

"Sure!"

"Does Ino have a chance?" Sakura asked. "An actual chance at some point of convincing Daisuke that she's the one for him?"

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. She's got a way better chance than Hisako does, though."

"She does?" Sakura asked with a surprised blink.

"Uh-huh," Naruto nodded.

"And why is that?" Sakura asked.

"Eh, she's desperate," Naruto replied.

"Desperate," Sakura repeated.

"Yup, desperate," Naruto nodded again. "She's really lonely and she's latched onto Daisuke as her one true hope at not being lonely. Her crush is more about her issues than anything and it's a pretty big turn off, something that Daisuke was able to pick up on way before his got his social issues fixed. Kind of reminds me of me, actually."

"That's…sad, actually," Sakura said with a frown. "She needs more friends."

"I think she needs her parents to not go out on missions so much," Naruto replied with a frown. "The reason she's lonely is because they're both gone. All the time."

"Yeah, I wouldn't know what I'd do if both my parents were always gone," Sakura said with a frown. "But…you'd know, huh? Being an orphan?"

"Yeah," Naruto said contemplatively. "Yeah, I do know. At least I had Daisuke for most of it, though. So happy nothing I ever did made him mad…well, not beyond winning at the training exercise, but he got over that pretty quickly. Anyway…see you Saturday?"

"Well, we're training together Wednesday," Sakura was fighting the smile slowly inching across her face.

"Okay, see you Wednesday?" Naruto said, grinning wide.

"Definitely."

* * *

"So, tell me, what do you know about the Akatsuki?" Daisuke asked, smiling as he was lead into the office and took a seat at the front of Mifune's desk.

"They're a group of S-rank Shinobi that sometimes works missions extremely cheaply," Mifune rattled off, taking a seat behind his desk. "Nothing more than that, why?"

"What if I told you they were the perfect boogie-man for the Hidden Villages to focus on murdering for the next decade or so?" Daisuke suggested with a raised eyebrow.

"I would be interested," Mifune said, leaning forward and placing his fingers into a tent at nose-level. "Tell me more."

"So while I was scouting out Kirigakure, I came across one of the members of the Akatsuki, dolled up in the red-cloud patterned dark coats and all, placing a Genjutsu on the Mizukage," Daisuke explained quickly. "This member of the Akatsuki was deliberately causing the clan genocides happening in Rain. I don't know why, but if one member of the group was doing that, imagine what the other members have done."

"I know that one of their members was held responsible for the murder of one of your villages clans," Mifune pointed out. "Uchiha Itachi?"

"That's correct," Daisuke nodded vigorously. "So, I'm thinking why not let out the dirty laundry of this group out, let each Hidden Village expand it's resources hunting down and exterminating a group of S-rank Ninja that make armies look like a joke. Since their time and effort will be spent hunting a small, nigh-untraceable organization which will fill their paranoid heads for free leaving them with very little room to handle the Land of Iron expanding."

"They would actually focus more on the small group of Ninja instead of a nation getting larger," Mifune laid out with an unimpressed frown. "Are you joking?"

"It's not about what the threat is," Daisuke responded with a smile. "It's about what they think the threat is. Genjutsu-ing a nation into destroying itself is a lot more terrifying for a Ninja than a Samurai that peacefully expands his nation with little to no bloodshed."

"Without bloodshed," Mifune's head tilted in disbelief. "You will have to explain this to me."

"The Land of Water and the Land of Wind are both in complete shambles," Daisuke responded casually. "The Land of Wind has almost no resources to speak of. Their economy is hemorrhaging Ryo and the Hidden Village there is basically broke. Plus, the son of the Kazekage owes me a huge favor."

"How big of a favor?" Mifune asked, his eyes squinting.

"I fixed a problem that had been plaguing him his whole life," Daisuke responded with a shrug, still smiling. "I think I could ask him just about anything short of killing his own siblings."

"Uh-huh," Mifune explained, raising an eyebrow. "And the Land of Water?"

"Vicious, bloody civil war that's been going on forever thanks to the Akatsuki," Daisuke shrugged, still smiling. "The shinobi might still be fighting, but I'm willing to bet the Daimyo's pretty much had it with the Hidden Village. He might not object to some timely intervention. Hypothetically, eh…hm."

"What?" Mifune asked, the bandages on his head starting to itch as they often did.

"I had considered maybe arranging a marriage, but-"

"No."

"That's what I thought," Daisuke nodded. "Honestly, it was just an idle thought, wasn't actually being serious about going through with it. You have children?"

"Some," Mifune replied with a waffling motion with his hand. "Join us and you might meet them."

"Again, tempting," Daisuke replied with a small smirk. "But not now."

"So, you left before we could finish talking about your reasoning last time," Mifune said with a raised eyebrow. "I'd like you to continue."

"Why are you so concerned with my motives?" Daisuke asked neutrally.

"I want to know how much I can truly trust you," Mifune replied just as evenly. "My advisors have warned me that meeting with you is a very bad idea, but something is telling me that perhaps it might be best to at least hear you out. But I need to know why you're committing treason for obvious reasons."

"Alright that's fair," Daisuke agreed with a thoughtful frown. "So, we've gone over my…noble reasons. It shouldn't surprise you that there's personal ones as well."

"Of course it doesn't," Mifune replied. "So, speak."

"Well, a while ago, I learned a few things about my best friend that are being kept as secrets of the village," Daisuke explained. "Things that carry the death penalty if they're spoken aloud. But my friend needs to know and he needs to be told by someone that actually cares about him and wants him to know the truth."

"Is he truly ready to learn such things about himself?" Mifune asked with a frown, sitting up straight and looking down at the youth before him.

"He is," Daisuke replied. "But telling him is the right thing to do, so I have to do it."

"But your Kage has made these secrets forbidden," Mifune argued. "He had a good reason."

"The Kage allowed his treasonous pupil to leave because he couldn't bear with killing someone so close to him," Daisuke replied venomously. "And he allowed the man who ordered the Uchiha Massacre to go free. The Kage has no right to demand any sort of loyalty from anyone in the village because he's betrayed them all. _Twice_."

Mifune slowly took a breath. "Did he? That's interesting. I suppose there's no honor amongst Shinobi, is there?"

"No," Daisuke shook his head. "No, there isn't. My friend has to know, though, or someone else will tell him. Someone else who has significantly less kindness and compassion for him. Maybe even hate him for what these secrets are."

"Is your friend a Jinchūriki?" Mifune asked curiously.

"Among other things," Daisuke said quietly.

"I see," Mifune replied. "I never did approve of the Tailed Beasts being used by the Shinobi as they are. It is, however, better than allowing them to roam rampant."

"I believe that," Daisuke nodded. "But I have to tell him and that is going to slice up my association with Konoha to ribbons."

"Can you not do so secretly?" Mifune asked.

"No, and it's my own fault," Daisuke replied. "For most of my career I had an…insubordinate streak. This, combined with my, ah, power, made me a subject of total surveillance. I can't tell him without eavesdroppers and then word will get back to the Hokage and then I will be declared a missing Nin for it."

"An insubordinate streak. Really," Mifune said. "And why is that?"

"Well, that comes into my final reason for being willing to turn on Konoha like I am," Daisuke's eyes narrowed. "For a time, my growth was…stunted. Because of my bloodline. I honestly think I could've counted as insane. Nearly sociopathic, definitely. I couldn't understand people or properly navigate the social landscape they were asking me to."

The Shogun motioned for the child to continue.

"So I…took risks. Big risks. I was nigh unkillable, still am, but they reacted badly," Daisuke continued. "There was one point where I was forcibly separated from the group. We were in the sewers and I was stabbed through the back and dragged to who-knows where. Trying to reunite with the group without any inkling of where they were was a fools errand, so I didn't even try. I was rather…distracted. With taking my frustrations out on our aggressors so I charged ahead. Fought the big guy at the end. I wound up biting off a harder fight than I thought, I admit it, but I still wasn't going to _die_. But I was pulled off missions."

"Most Shinobi can be counted as insane," Mifune replied with a raised eyebrow. "I've met several. I fought one. Why focus on you like you're doing something abnormal?"

"I don't know," Daisuke waved it off with a glare at the wall. "But it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all and it…pisses me off. Missions were one of my few sources of joy, my main source of stress relief, a statement that I was getting somewhere. As you can see, I was eventually able to fix the mental problem. But it still wasn't fair. It wasn't even just. So yeah, I've got a bit of a vendetta against Konoha's leadership. Very little confidence in them or their ability to lead."

"And there it is," Mifune said, taking a breath. "This is as much about your vendetta as it is your desire to see a better world, is that right?"

"I guess you could say that," Daisuke shrugged. "But I wasn't kidding before about helping you guys out. I want Ninshu everywhere. I want _jutsu_ everywhere. Even here."

"Now that's an interesting idea," Mifune just barely resisted the urge to scoff. "Now why would we, as Samurai, want anything to do with Ninja Arts?"

"Jutsu and Ninshu are two sides of the same coin," Daisuke explained with a raised eyebrow. "The books you brought me, about The Sage of the Six Paths. He created Ninshū and taught it to his sons Indra and Asura. What they did with it made the foundation of everything we know today. As much as I like Ninshū, and believe me, I do, I don't believe it would be wise to ignore Jutsu, just like how dumb it would be to ignore Ninshū in favor of Jutsu."

Mifune groaned. "This. This is what my advisors warned me about."

"Look, as far as I'm concerned, the Land of Iron's got the best system in place to lead to the world being the best place it could possibly be," Daisuke explained, standing up. "But the only way to truly realize that potential is to acknowledge everything you have available, not pick and choose. I could give you the weapons I've developed, show you how to improve your infrastructure to places you've never dreamed of, bring all of your people, Samurai and Civilian's alike, into a new golden age unlike anything you've ever seen before. I won't do it in Konoha, not now, their politics and leaders sicken me. But I _can't_ do it here unless you're willing to accept what I have to give."

"You're asking me to help upend everything my people have stood for," Mifune said seriously. "We've preserved the way of the Samurai for generations. We cannot throw that away."

"I'm not asking you to throw it away," Daisuke replied with a sad frown. "I'm asking you to add onto it. But if there's nothing else…I guess I'm done here."

He turned to walk away, stepping lightly but resolutely toward the door.

Mifune watched him.

Daisuke opened the door.

"Wait," Mifune took a deep breath and even longer to exhale. "How would you get the people to accept your offer?"

Daisuke closed the door. "Present the information neutrally and without bias, and the people will choose for themselves. I will show you."

* * *

"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" Nichiren called out, shifting his shoes off of his feet.

"Son!" His father, Hiro rounded the corner with a bright smile. "How was the mission?"

"Boring," He replied with a smile. "Just the way I like it!"

"That's good to hear," Hiro replied with a nod. "You know, your mother worries about you every time you leave the village."

"I know, Dad," Nichiren replied. "Where is she now?"

"She went out to grab some groceries from the store," Hiro explained. "She'll be back shortly. So what was it this time?"

"Just escorting a caravan to the Land of Grass," Nichiren replied, walking in and taking a seat. "Not nearly as exciting as last time I had to do that."

"Well, at least it turned out okay both times, right son?" Hiro asked, taking a seat on the couch opposite of his son. "You still talking with your team?"

"Oh yeah, Sensei and I still train together a lot," Nichiren replied with a smile.

"How about that Yamada girl?" Hiro asked with a raised eyebrow and a sly grin.

"She's still crazy about Daisuke," Nichiren replied with a sigh. "Even though he gave her the boot. Twice, now."

"That's too bad," Hiro said sadly. "When was the last time you saw that freak of nature anyway?"

"Almost three months ago," Nichiren replied with a shrug. "He's not _that_ bad, Dad."

"I know," Hiro replied sheepishly.

"I mean, he's pretty bad," Nichiren clarified. "But not _that_ bad. At least, not anymore since he's become 'socially aware'. I think."

"He doesn't still scare you, does he?" Hiro asked with a frown. "He's your teammate and he's saved your life. Multiple times. Even if he is a bit freaky."

"Look Dad, as I've said before, the moment his bloodline says it's a good idea to kill us," Nichiren started, taking his glasses off and cleaning them. "He's going to kill us. Or at least think really, really hard about it. I don't think that's changed since he became Good Looking-sama."

"You don't think it's told him that before and he's shrugged it off?" Hiro asked with a shrug. "He hasn't killed anyone in Konoha yet, I think it's a distinct possibility."

"Nah," Nichiren shook his head. "If it had happened, he'd have told us to our face first. You know, before blowing it up."

Hiro sighed and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses. "Nichiren, I know paranoia is supposed to help in the Ninja world, but are you sure it's not wearing a bit on you?"

"I'm totally happy with being paranoid as long as I'm living in the village," Nichiren explained. "Anyone could be a spy from Iwa or Kumo."

"Nichiren," Hiro began.

" _Anyone_ ," Nichiren repeated with emphasis.

Hiro sighed. "I suppose I have to take you at your word. How soon until you can buy that land you've been eyeing?"

"Eh, just one more C-rank will do it, then I can buy the land _and_ the materials to build an estate on it," Nichiren replied with a grin. "Then I can create an escape tunnel and if Konoha's attacked, you guys can run and hide. If Konoha gets _destroyed_ , I can join you shortly after."

"That'll be nice," Hiro said with a smile. "We won't have to work the store anymore, we can just live happily."

"That's the goal," Nichiren nodded. "Then I just need to serve out my tenure as a Shinobi then I can retire alongside you, get a girl, start a family…"

"I understand being a Shinobi is great for one's love life," Hiro said, waggling his eyebrows. "Eh? Eh?"

Nichiren shook his head. "Yeah I guess, but…I'm just not looking right now. Retirement opens up a lot of free time."

"Why can't you retire now again?" His Dad asked. "I mean, you have two S-ranks under your belt, you've done more than most Shinobi ever will."

"Because with two S-ranks I've still got to serve at least ten years," Nichiren said with a shrug. "Honestly, I'm glad them, or I'd be serving for life, basically."

"That's right, that's right," Hiro said, running a hand through his gray hair. "Sorry I forgot, I'm getting slow in my old age."

"It's fine Dad," Nichiren reassured. "You didn't meet Mom until you were a bit older yourself, right?"

"Yeah, I was forty-six, she was twenty-five," Hiro explained with a shrug. "Just started up the shop, met her. A few years later, we started dating, got married, had you."

"Right, right," Nichiren started to nod. "By the way, did Mom have anything she needed done after she got home?"

"Just to get started on Dinner," Hiro replied. "Why?"

"What's for dinner?" Nichiren asked, standing up.

"Katsudon with Korokke on the side," Hiro explained.

"Alright, I'll see if I can get it started," Nichiren replied, moving to the kitchen. "Did she say what we were missing? Oh. We're out of rice. Got it…"

* * *

 _Author's Note: This is the second to last chapter of Act 1. I can't wait to bring you guys the finale. As usual, go ahead and tell me what you thought. Even if I hate it._

 _Shout out goes out too_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi.

 _Thank you all for your continued support, I think the world of you._

 _Until the next time!_

 _~Fulcon_


	69. Finale: Speaking the Truth

_The Following is a fan-based work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

It was a perfect day.

There was not a cloud in the sky. Sunbeams shined through the forest canopy above and a cool breeze brought in the pleasing scent of flowers. Beneath one of the towering trees in the shade was laid one brightly colored blanket. On this blanket a spread of dishes that was adequately prepared; rice balls, sushi, dumplings, and more.

"Wow, Naruto," Sakura said, eyeing the spread appreciatively. "You really went all out!"

"Yeah," Naruto said with a grin. "I mean, thanks. Putting it together was kind of hard, but I had clones."

Sakura laughed. "I think my parents would kill for shadow clones. Did you taste any of it?"

"Yeah," Naruto answered. "At first I wanted to just bring everything because I followed directions and so it should've been good, but I wanted to be extra sure."

"So you ended up bringing everything then?" Sakura asked, beaming.

Naruto laughed sheepishly for a moment before answering. "No. There were a couple of things I just couldn't get right so I had to leave 'em at home. The dumplings took me four tries."

"Four tries? Really?" Sakura blinked with a curious frown. "What kind of dumplings are they?"

"Bean paste," Naruto grinned.

Sakura gasped in delight and grabbed one. "My favorite!"

She bit into one and hummed happily. Naruto grabbed a bowl of ramen cooked and heated and started slurping down noodles.

"You knew that bean paste was my favorite, huh?" Sakura asked with a coy smile as she looked at him from the side of her eyes.

"Yup," Naruto replied, gorging another mouthful.

"How?" Sakura asked, reaching for another.

"I heard you mention it to some of the other girls at the Akimichi's second party," Naruto explained, stirring his ramen as Sakura bit happily into her dumpling. "You know, I didn't realize that making noodles was so hard."

"Did you get Ichiraku's the help you make it?" Sakura asked

"Yeah, I've worked there after hours sometimes to pay when I accidentally went over my ramen funds," Naruto replied, slurping another mouthful of noodles. When he swallowed, he continued. "It got way, way easier to keep up when Daisuke taught me shadow clones."

"How did he know you could handle spending that much chakra?" Sakura asked with curious look.

"I don't know," Naruto shrugged. "But since my chakra's limitless, I use them a lot."

"I wish I had limitless chakra," Sakura said.

"It's awesome," Naruto nodded. "So graduation's in a week. You nervous?"

"Yes," Sakura breathed out. "Really, really nervous. You?"

"Eh, no," Naruto shook his head. "The exams not really that bad, the only reason I didn't pass was because I couldn't do clones and Iruka-sensei helped me patch that hole up a long time ago."

"You know, I always wondered," Sakura began, finishing the dumpling in her hand and grabbing a bowl for rice. "Why did you take the exam early? Twice?"

"Oh, uh," Naruto gave a half-hearted laugh. "I hated the Academy and wanted to get out."

"Was it really that bad?" Sakura said.

"I just…I don't know," Naruto shrugged. "I was just mad that no matter how hard I tried, nothing I did was ever _good_ enough, you know? I always got the sense that the instructors didn't like me and were trying to keep me down. You know, there was the one time when my textbook got stolen and none of them wanted to find who did it."

"Oh wow," Sakura said, utterly floored. "I'm…really sorry. Did you ever ask Daisuke for help?"

"Not until the fish," Naruto answered.

"Why not?" Sakura said.

"Well," Naruto sighed. "I was too proud. I mean, he was amazing at everything he tried, except talking to people and I…struggled. With a lot. I didn't want him to think less of me. Then the fish thing happened and I learned that an ego could get you killed and we started training together. The rest is history."

"Yeah," Sakura shook her head at the memory. "That almost feels like a lifetime ago when my biggest worry was being prettier than Ino, getting Sasuke's attention and making sure my grades were high."

"So, what's making you nervous about the exam?" Naruto asked, grabbing a bowl of rice for himself.

"I just don't know what to expect," Sakura replied with a shrug. "It's just the unknown."

"Eh, it's pretty simple," Naruto started. "First you take a written exam, which I usually passed so you'll have no problem."

"Wait, you _did_ pass the written exam?" Sakura asked with a surprised look.

Naruto held two of his fingers really close together. "Barely. I don't think I'll have trouble with it now, though."

"Well, obviously. Sorry, I didn't mean to say you were dumb," Sakura explained quickly with a light blush. "You're not and you've gotten way smarter since we started training together."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto brushed it off with a grin. "You're smarts rubbed off on me."

"Thanks," Sakura said.

"As I was saying, after that is the practical exam," Naruto explained. "You just need to be able to hit the proctor to pass the Taijutsu and do the Academy Three. The reason I always failed was, again, because I couldn't do Bunshin. That was it."

"And now that's not a problem," Sakura said with a nod, scooping a little bit of rice into her mouth.

"Yup!" Naruto grinned.

"That's awesome," Sakura said with a bright expression. "Do you think we'll be a team together?"

"I hope so," Naruto said. "Being on a team with you would be awesome."

Sakura nodded. "Thank you, I'd say the same about you. Who'd our third member be?"

"Ideally?" Naruto asked. "Sasuke."

Sakura blinked in surprise. "Wait, really?"

"Yeah, really," Naruto nodded. "I used to hate him for how good he is, but at the end of the day, he _is_ good. You want someone like that watching your back."

"That's…very mature of you, Naruto," Sakura said. "I'd like that too, if only because he's our friend and most constant training partner. We already know how to work together."

"Bingo," Naruto nodded.

Then they were both treated to the odd sight of a paper airplane flying through the air and landing right in front of them. On the wing was written 'Naruto'.

He picked it up and unfolded it. "It's from Daisuke!"

"What does it say?" Sakura asked.

"He…wants me to meet him the night of graduation," Naruto said, blinking owlishly. "At that old gardening shed? Huh."

"What old gardening shed?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Oh, it's a place just outside the main walls that I'd hide out after I pranked someone," Naruto replied with a shrug. "Said he had something important to tell me and that I should come alone."

"…are you sure that's Daisuke?" Sakura asked with a concerned frown.

"It's his handwriting," Naruto replied. "But yeah, it is kind of weird he'd ask for a secret meeting. That's…not something he usually does."

"I wonder what he's got to tell you," Sakura said.

"Me too," Naruto explained. "I guess I'll find out later. Now where'd I put that elixir?"

* * *

"Hello Naruto," Hinata said, walking under the flaps that divided _Ichiraku Ramen_ from the rest of the village.

"Hey Hinata!" Naruto replied with a happy smile.

The sun was starting to set over the horizon.

"Hinata-chan," Ayami said with a small bow. "What can I get you?"

"Oh, I'm still deciding," Hinata said, taking a seat beside Naruto. "So, Naruto. How was your…"

She stopped for a second to take a breath, trying to hold her smile. "H-how was your date?"

"It was great," Naruto beamed. "Thanks for asking. By they way, do you know if Daisuke's come in the village at all today?"

"I haven't seen him," Hinata replied with a small frown. "I thought he was still on his vacation?"

"He sent me a letter earlier is all," Naruto replied with a shrug. "He wanted me to meet him graduation night, said he had something important to tell me."

Ayame blinked. "Are you sure it came from Daisuke?"

"It's his handwriting. Came by paper airplane," Naruto replied with a shrug. "You think maybe I should bring someone in case it's not him?"

"I think that would be wise," Hinata said with a nod. "Tell the Hokage, let him know and see what he says."

"Yeah," Ayame nodded rapidly. "Because, while I could be wrong, Daisuke sending a letter to tell you to meet him in a secret place to tell you 'something important' doesn't sound like Daisuke. He'd just come to you and tell you in front of anyone."

"Maybe it's just him understanding secrets now?" Naruto asked, shrugging and finishing bowl. "But I think you're right. I'll tell the old man, see what he thinks."

* * *

A week later, Naruto stood in the forest. He let out a nervous breath, again adjusting his new headband. The sun had long since set and the cool breeze turned into a chilling one.

"Now remember," The Hokage began. "If it's Daisuke, just talk to him like normal. If it's not, we'll get you to a safe spot. Alright?"

"Right, okay," Naruto nodded quickly.

Behind the Hokage were several members of ANBU, Kakashi-sensei and Anko, all geared up and ready for a fight. Naruto was more or less sure that it was actually Daisuke, but there was that underlying tension that if it wasn't…what happened?

"Hokage-sama," One of the patrolling ANBU appeared beside them. "We caught several non-combatants entering the mission area."

"Who?" The Hokage asked with squinting eyes. Then the group walked up and he massaged his eyes with his fingers. "Of course."

Then walking up to the two was Sakura, Hinata and Sasuke who looked unconcerned but active Sharingan told everyone he was on high alert, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji who were all looking like they were questioning whether coming here was a good idea and Hisako and Nichiren who both looked ready for anything.

"What are you all doing here?" Naruto asked, his eyes bugging out.

"We wanted to make sure you were okay," Sakura said quickly. "We didn't know that this got turned into a mission, though."

"And if Daisuke's involved, we need to make sure _he's_ okay," Hisako added as well, brushing her ponytail off her shoulder. "Who knows what kind of trouble he's gotten into while he's been away."

"Hokage-sama," Another Anbu showed up. "Shimoda-Daisuke's been spotted walking toward the shed."

The Hokage sighed. "Alright, you can stay. Just stay out of sight and don't make a _peep_. You understand?"

The group gave their quiet assent.

"Positions," The Hokage ordered. "Naruto, you know what to do."

"Thanks, old man," Naruto replied, letting out a breath and nodding rapidly.

With that, everyone hid. The Hokage and Anbu simply vanished from sight while the Chunin and Rookies made a mad dash for the bushes.

Naruto walked around the shed and waited.

Then, coming out from the woods, was Daisuke. He wasn't wearing his usual blue armor, instead opting for a black trench coat, the gloves and boots plated with some kind of…bone? His eyes quickly scanned the tree-line, then he let out a sigh. Slowly, he looked up with a smile. "Naruto…it's so good to see you."

"Daisuke," Naruto said, before charging in for a hug.

They embraced and parted and Daisuke looked up at the headband now adorning his forehead. "You graduated. That's awesome, I knew you could do it."

"Thanks," Naruto said with a smile. "So…what's up? You said you had something to tell me."

"Yeah," Daisuke replied, stomping one foot on the ground. Naruto felt a wave of chakra pass his feet like he just stepped into a shallow river. It subsided just as quickly. Then he started making hand seals, fast enough that Naruto didn't even see them before they were done. Then he felt another wave of chakra explode out of him, feeling like a gentle breeze across his face. "There. Alright, maybe you'd like to sit down, it might be a doozy."

"I don't know," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head. "I think I'd like to stand."

"Well, I'm going to sit down," Daisuke said, sitting down with his legs crossed. "Standings not uncomfortable, but I like sitting down when I'm doing things. You understand, right?"

"I guess?" Naruto replied with a frown. "Seriously, what's this about?"

"Well, a…long, long while ago, I came across some information. Important information. About you," Daisuke started to explain, before taking in a deep breath. "I didn't tell you beforehand because, honestly, I didn't want too. Call it laziness, call it being unsure if it was my place, whatever it was. But I realize now that that was a grave mistake and that I should've told you because of our friendship. I'm very sorry. I didn't tell you before, so let me tell you now."

"Okay," Naruto said with a concerned frown, slowly sitting down.

"You know what happened on the day of your birth," Daisuke began. "How the Kyuubi attacked the village and the Fourth Hokage defeated it."

"Yeah, who doesn't know that?" Naruto asked with a frown. "What does this have to do with me?"

"I'm getting to that," Daisuke explained. "The Fourth Hokage defeated the Kyuubi by creating a Jinchūriki. Are you familiar with that term?"

"A…demon container?" Naruto asked, blinking in confusion.

"That's right," Daisuke said with a kind smile. "The tailed beasts, all Nine of them, are currently sealed in people. These people, as a result of having these beasts sealed inside them have incredible power. The Fourth, needing to pick someone for this incredible responsibility, turned to the one person he could trust."

"And who was that?" Naruto asked, for once in his life completely and totally still.

"See, the previous person to be the Jinchūriki for the Kyuubi was his wife," Daisuke explained. "I don't know how it got free, but it got free on the night that she gave birth to the Hokage's only son."

"Okay," Naruto breathed.

"So, when the fox got free and he was pressed for time, the Fourth Hokage picked his only son to bear the responsibility of being the container for it. Him, her, if the Fox has a gender," Daisuke continued, taking a breath. "The name of his wife, who he married in secret, was Uzumaki Kushina. You see where I'm going with this?"

Naruto stopped for a second. The he busted out laughing. "Come on, Daisuke. Be serious. There's no way any of this can be true. You can't seriously _believe_ this!"

"Oh, it can," Daisuke replied with a disappointed sigh. "And I can prove it."

"Oh yeah?" Naruto said with a raised eyebrow and a frown. "Prove it."

"Alright. On your stomach is a seal that your father drew on your stomach to hold the beast," Daisuke explained. "It's only visible when you're focusing chakra, in case you were wondering why you haven't seen it before."

"That's a load of crap," Naruto replied with a nervous tone on his voice. "Come on."

"Hey, they proof is right there," Daisuke explained with a gesture. "You don't have anything to lose by checking, do you?"

 _Where's the old man?_ Naruto thought to himself, not chancing a look behind him. _He'd be able to tell if this is true, right? Has Daisuke just gone crazy?_

Daisuke fell quiet, resting his hands in his lap and waiting.

 _There's no way_ , Naruto continued to think. _But…he's right. I don't have anything to lose by checking. Maybe if I show him there's nothing there, he'll drop it and he can get to the real reason he's here._

With that thought in his mind, Naruto slowly stood up and lifted his shirt. Daisuke's face remained impassive as Naruto hooked the bunched-up cloth in his chin and struck a hand sealm funneling chakra through his body. Not one second after doing this, tattoo that Naruto had never seen before, a large, black swirl appeared on his stomach.

"Huh, that's…interesting," Daisuke said with a surprised look, examining the seal before Naruto shoved his shirt down to cover his stomach. "Anyway, that was the best put together, elegantly written seal that I've ever seen. Your father was a genius at seal craft."

"I don't believe it," Naruto breathed out.

"Believe it," Daisuke affirmed. "Why do you think that the matron never let you out during the festival celebrating the defeat of the Kyuubi? Why do you think the teachers at the Academy always gave you such a hard time for no reason? How do you explain that rampage you went on in the sewers after I got impaled with a trident where the Angler's knew well enough to run away from you?"

"Why didn't the Old Man tell me?" Naruto said quietly. "Why?"

"I presume that he didn't want to make you a target because you blabbed to the wrong person," Daisuke shrugged. "I can see his point, but here you're perfectly capable of keeping a secret and so you should know. Especially since there's a cabal of S-rank missing nin out for your blood."

"Wh-what?" Naruto balked. "What are you talking about?"

"There's a group of S-rank missing nin called the Akatsuki," Daisuke replied with a frown. "They're scouring the land, looking for all the Jinchuriki. For what, I don't know. But given their membership includes Uchiha Itachi, the one responsible for the Uchiha clan massacre if you didn't already know, it can't be good."

"Sasuke's brother," Naruto said.

"So, he told you," Daisuke stated with a nod. "Good. I was wondering if it would ever come out."

"Yeah, he…told me," Naruto replied. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you need to know," Daisuke replied with a shrug. "You need to understand what's waiting for you, personally, as you stand to enter the world of Shinobi. You need information to make informed decisions, if not intelligent ones."

Naruto fell quiet. "The Fourth Hokage is my Dad."

"He needed the one person he could trust for the job of being both the Kyuubi's prison and his warden," Daisuke explained with a nod. "As far as I'm concerned, he picked the right person for the job. If the village knew what was good for it, it'd treat you like a hero and a prince instead of shunning you. Alas, people are stupid. But we've both known that for a while."

Naruto nodded with a frown then gestured out to the woods. "So why drag me out of the village to tell me? Why here? Why not back in the village?"

"Because both of these secrets, the identity of your parents and your status as Jinchūriki, are S class secrets," Daisuke responded, causing Naruto to blanch. Dispassionately, he continued. "In telling you these things, I've been marked for death."

"Are you crazy?" Naruto shouted, his voice having gone up an octave.

"Probably," Daisuke nodded, looking completely unconcerned.

"Why tell me?" Naruto asked, still shouting. "Why put yourself in this position?"

"Because it was the right thing to do," Daisuke responded. "And because…how do I put this? I needed to draw a line in the sand."

"Draw a line in the sand?" Naruto asked incredulously. "What does that mean?"

"That is something you'll find out later," Daisuke responded. "Anyway, I suppose I should unfreeze our eavesdroppers."

"Unfreeze?" Naruto asked, turning around at sound of several people hitting the ground.

"Unfreeze," Daisuke replied with a nod. "So, why bring the entourage? Did you not trust me or did the Hokage get paranoid?"

"I wasn't really sure it was you who sent the letter," Naruto admitted. "We wanted to make sure it was actually you and that something didn't happen."

"Ah, I got you," Daisuke replied with a smile. "That makes sense. Thanks for being worried."

The Hokage immediately appeared in the clearing, carefully concealing rage and disbelief under a mask of cool indifference. "Shimoda."

"Sarutobi," Daisuke replied cooling, causing the Hokage's rage to be further kindled by being disrespected. "Before I leave today, I'll do you this last kindness, if only for the village that I'm leaving. On my vacation, I've been to every single Hidden Village. All of them. You know what I found?"

"What did you find, Shimoda?" The Hokage asked as both Anko and Kakashi arrived to flank him.

Daisuke opened his mouth to respond, only for an Anbu to appear at Sarutobi's side to whisper something to him. The Hokage's gaze briefly and frantically analyzed the canopy behind Daisuke, causing him to smirk. "So I went ahead and looked into the histories of the Great Shinobi wars. All of them. Everywhere. And what I found is that these conflicts were being engineered."

"They were being engineered," The Hokage repeated. "How?"

"Oh, it's a few small things," Daisuke shrugged. "Records of battles Konoha had with Iwa that Iwa had no knowledge of, and vice versa. You know the Broken Steel defensive operation? Iwa has no clue that ever happened."

Sarutobi blinked as the Chunin and Academy students came out from behind the shed. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious," Daisuke replied with a nod. "But I think the most interesting thing I've ever seen was the Mizukage being Genjutsu'd by an Akatsuki to keep the civil war going and tear down his own country. I was really, really surprised."

"You killed the Akatsuki member, I presume," Sarutobi replied with a raised eyebrow.

"See, that's the thing. I killed him, but then he came back," Daisuke replied with a worried chuckle. "Scariest thing I've ever seen. Can't wait to fight him again. But anyway, take that knowledge and do whatever you want with it. I'm done. I'm leaving. _Goodbye_."

"Daisuke," Hisako piped up, tears running down her cheeks. "Please don't do this."

"Oh, it's done," Daisuke replied neutrally. "I knowingly and willingly, shared two S-class secrets with not one, but eight unauthorized persons. If Sarutobi has any respect for the law, I'm now a dead man in the eyes of the village. If he doesn't, then that confirms that the laws of the village are only selectively enforced."

"How do you mean?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well, let's go back to a few years in the past, shall we?" Daisuke started with a glare. "Our esteemed _Hokage_ here, infiltrates the sewers and finds Orochimaru's lab. He finds that psychopath right in the middle of dissecting some poor abductee for his bloodline."

"Shimoda don't you dare," The Hokage snapped.

"You know what he does?" Daisuke continued, heedless of the objection.

"Shimoda!"

"Guess what he does."

"Daisuke!"

Daisuke opened his mouth once again, only for the Hokage to surge forward, palm forward. In response, Daisuke grabbed him by the forearm, and twisted, his feet sliding on the ground. He brought the Hokage down onto the ground, his boot resting on his back. "He lets him go."

With a grunt, Daisuke kicked the Hokage away, sending him sliding away on the grass. "Compared with that rather large breech of ethics in the name of Nepotism, you'd think my minor transgressions would be forgiven, right?"

Anko's face had started to go red, her fists shaking with rage.

"I couldn't do it," The Hokage said, starting to sound pleading. "I was frozen. I couldn't move my legs. He was my _student_."

"Since when did being mentally or emotionally or even physically be unable to do something stop you from punishing someone you thought was out of line, right?" Daisuke asked with venom in his voice. "I mean, I saved all the major clans heirs for the small price of being completely separated from everyone with no hope of ever getting back to them. I didn't know where they were and I didn't have a map. But it was apparently still my fault for getting separated with no hope of rescue, so I get pulled from the one thing that brought me closer to fixing my issues."

"You were reckless and near suicidal," Sarutobi spat, standing up.

"True, but it's not like I had much choice in that scenario, huh?" Daisuke responded with a glare. "But I guess the only crime I was being sentenced for was not curling into a ball and dying."

"Daisuke stop," Naruto shouted, but was gone unheeded by the two.

"You're nothing but a child," Sarutobi barked back harshly. "An idiotic, undisciplined child who got far too much power far too quickly."

Daisuke had no response for this, settling only for a dead gaze at the Hokage.

"That all this is, isn't it?" The Hokage continued, still glaring. "Telling Naruto thing's he was not ready to hear, dragging my greatest shame out into the open for scorn, abandoning the village that made you what you are. It's just a temper tantrum. A tantrum being thrown by a child because he can't accept the consequences of his actions."

Daisuke's fists clenched and were shaking.

"What else can we expect from someone that can't learn from their actions," The Hokage continued. "Because he is a child with no knowledge of the consequence for any of his actions, because they never truly affect him."

Daisuke had no response but to dig into his coat and withdraw two things. The first was what looked like Daisuke's custom-made weapon, capable of dispensing instant death at range; the top of it glowed a soft, blue light. In Daisuke's other hand was a helmet which he slid on. Then it became clear that this helmet was made from some kind of skull. Out of the helmet, came a harsh, venomous whisper. " _I am not a child_."

Then he raised the weapon, and chaos broke loose.

 _"Darkness."_

Naruto only had time to look up briefly to see that the canopy above was lined with clones of Daisuke before the entire forest was plunged into darkness. He couldn't see his hand in front of his face. But he could see Daisuke's weapon glowing blue with each burst of chakra it sent out.

All around him, he heard the sound of bodies dropping to the ground just over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.

This was all wrong.

His world has been upside down. Was Daisuke telling the truth? Hiruzen sure acted like he was. Gone was the calm, happy grandfather that he had grown up knowing, stripped away by the sheer force of Daisuke's personality as he accused him of negligence and nepotism.

Naruto hit the ground, shielding his head with his hands as he desperately looked around.

Then, as suddenly as the fighting started, it stopped. The darkness lifted and the clearing was filled with the bodies of ANBU.

"They're still alive," Daisuke replied, still standing with his helmet on. "Just knocked them out. It's more than they deserve. I'm sorry Naruto."

"Don't go, Daisuke," Naruto pleaded, slowly standing up, noting at Hisako and Nichiren were both among the unconscious ANBU. "Please…we can work this out."

"I just attacked the Hokage, ANBU and my own teammates," He said, sounding just a little sad. "No. We're not making this work for a very, very long time."

Then he slumped forward. At the sound, Naruto turned and saw that Ino had collapsed.

"Okay!" Ino said in Daisuke's body. "I've got control. Now we can hold him until things settle down and we can talk this through."

"Good thinking, Ino," Shikamaru said with a relieved smile. "Now we just need to wake up the Hokage."

"Uh…wait, something's fighting me," Ino replied, looking down at Daisuke's hands.

 _Perception Check Success: 7/2._

"It's a seal," Ino said, surprised. "He's built a seal specifically to fight my clan's technique. That is scary."

"Can you hold him?" Sasuke asked immediately.

"I-" Ino began.

 _Chakra Control Check Failed: 35/90._

"No."

Then Ino woke up with a gasp for air and Daisuke was standing up straight. "Alright, I'm impressed. That was good. Really, really good. But don't do that again."

"You're a traitor, Daisuke," Sasuke said with a cool glare. "The Hokage might've made some bad decisions, but this is the village you're leaving."

"I am," Daisuke nodded. "But I'm a traitor with a clean conscience."

He leaped up to the trees above in the blink of an eye. "Good bye everyone. I hope we can meet again in better circumstances."

Then he was gone.

Naruto couldn't move his legs. He couldn't stand, he could barely breathe.

His oldest and best friend, his brother in all but blood, had left the village. Turned traitor. Turned nuke-nin. Naruto honestly felt like some large part of him had just suddenly died because for some reason he now felt hollow. Gone was his trademark energy

"Naruto," Sakura came up beside him. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Then she wrapped her arms around him.

"I'll get him back," Naruto swore quietly. "I will get him back. I promise."

* * *

 _Author's Notes: This chapter had gone through numerous renditions in my head and on paper before we got to this one. Initially, I had wanted Kakashi to deliberately press Daisuke's berserk button in such a way to make him stay and fight so they could round him up. Then I had Naruto call Daisuke a baby for some reason and Daisuke's rampage being partially motivated by betrayal. But here, as I wrote this, it became clear that Hiruzen was the one who needed to press the button and call Daisuke a child. Because Sarutobi Hiruzen is the one that Daisuke is truly mad at and the one most likely to spark in Daisuke the old familiar urge to commit manslaughter, even if he only stunned them with his gun._

 _With this chapter, I end act 1. This, ultimately, is the culmination of everything I've written for SHINOBI thus far, both the original and the rewrite. For those of you who have read both versions, I thank you for sticking with me. I know that I'm not good at handling critique and have a tendency to flip out when I read something I don't like. It's something I'm still trying to purge from my being, being able to judge what critique I think I should learn from without flipping out at the stuff I consider not so good for this story._

 _This is the end of Act 1. On Fanfiction, Spacebattles and SufficientVelocity, I've posted this and I'll post a new thread or story when it's time to get to Act 2. But Act 2 is going to take a while, if only because I need a break from this story and self inserts in general. That does not mean I'll be gone from fanfiction period, I've got another story that I'm going to come back too. Of course, there's also my original work which is on Fictionpress, Spacebattles and SufficientVelocity; Summoned: A story of Heroism and Profit. I'm very proud of it and I encourage anyone that wants to keep reading from me to go read that story if you haven't already._

 _I don't know when I'm coming back to start writing Act 2. I know that I'll probably start planning it out before too long. It'll probably start with Naruto and his team taking the Bell Test and end…well. That would be telling._

 _I want to thank everyone who's ever read this story and supported me with kind words and telling me if they thought I was in danger of running into pitfalls. All of you. You guys stuck with me through thick and thin I honestly love you guys. I love writing for you, entertaining you and trying to brighten your days with the stories that I write. Sometimes I'm not successful, but that's just writing; you'll never please everyone. But I'm happy to have pleased as many as I have – the story on Fanfiction has been viewed over one million times, a truly mind-boggling number for me._

 _Shout out to my circle of patrons,_ Don. Keller Harlow. Chris. Darkama. Chris, Melodychii, Niluka Satharasinghe, Sackthananban Kounlavong, Tlavoc, Zeroharm, Megrisvernin, Michael White, Miu, Chris, Raven Uzushi, A Person, Huan, Darth Bane, Makopaulo, Nex19 _and our newest member,_ Paloswag.

 _Shout out to also to the_ Super Patrons _,_ Melden V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Devil's Bite _and_ Avinash Bakshi. _I love you guys, patrons and super patrons alike. Thank you for helping me pursue my passion as a writer._

 _I know this ending isn't going to be for everyone. I mean, it's better than the last one where I truly screwed the pooch by both rushing it and then reacted poorly when people_ (rightly – you have no idea how hard it was for me to write this) _called me out for rushing it. I did react poorly. I was absolutely sick of the fic but I felt the need to continue with it because it was my most popular and thus my greatest chance at getting my to do well. I was on a deadline to get a certain number of subscribers, I panicked, rushed and reaped the whirlwind._

 _That's why I'm going to take a while. A long while, before starting act 2. Or I might just write a couple chapters right away and let it sit dead for a few months before starting work on it. I don't know, my muse is weird._

 _Thank you all again for your support._

 _Until the next time._

 _~Fulcon_


	70. Act 2 Announcement

_The Following is a fanbased work of fiction: Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden are owned by Shueisha, Viz Entertainment and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release._

* * *

You're kidding.

…I mean, really?

Really.

He didn't kill a single one of them.

They essentially stabbed him in the back for doing what he thought was right _and_ repeatedly slammed on the one issue guaranteed to turn him into a ravening wolf.

But they're alive.

This is so _stupid_.

It's giving me a headache.

What happened to you, Daisuke?

I mean, I know what happened to you. Your empathy got restored. Blegh.

There is no way it should still be a problem.

You were my Kratos, man! My Doomguy! The one I could always count on to reduce someone to bloody giblets in hilarious manner! The guy I could always trust to give me hours of endless entertainment if I just gave you enough targets!

You were the chosen one!

But here you are, trying out your Gandhi impression.

Makes me sick.

It looks terrible on you.

Whatever.

You know what?

There was a time when I was that stupid. There was. I wizened up pretty quick though.

So, I'm going to take a break.

Come back in a few years.

Let's release the big one and call it good.

There's other projects I can work on, anyway.

Yeah.

When I come back?

Well.

I'll have him back to violently exploding people with his fists in no time.

* * *

 _Author's Note: It's here._

 _This little ditty that I've written is the announcement that Act 2 for SHINOBI: The RPG has arrived. For those of you curious, it's deeply important to Act 2 and especially to Act 3. It was important for Act 1, but the foreshadowing I've done there is mostly very subtle._

 _Shout out goes out to all my patrons,_ Don, Darkama, Chris, Melodychii, Niluka Satharasinghe, Sackthananban Kounlavong, Tlavoc, Zeroharm, Megrisvernin, Miu, Chris, Raven Uzushi, A Person, Nex19, Paloswag, Cole Deucalion, Jacob A Bridgewater, ladiciusevol, Steelcondor, Micheal V, Anders Kronquist, Ray Tony Song, makopaulo, Volkogluk, Aaron Bjornson, iolande, Martin Auguado, Julio, Jiopaba, Hackerham, Tim Collins-Squire, Maben00, Sultan Saltlick, PostLifeSyndrome, Ventari _and_ PbookR. _thank you for your continued support and helping me get this done._


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